***All works of erotica are fictional and we NEVER condone anything that is not safe and consensual
I sigh quietly. I am really fucking bored. I really do want to make Master proud, but it is very hard to stay focused when there is so little to do.
Right now, my head is resting on Master’s thigh. His hand is in my hair, the strands running through his fingers. I love when he does this. It always makes me feel cherished. Often times, I feel forgotten when his attention is no longer on me. It is as though I become invisible.
I sigh once more, letting all the voices wash over me. I am the only pet here and W/we have been here for–let me see–four hours now. Any longer and I swear I am going to bash my head into the table.
See, Master refused to leave me alone in His rooms after my fever last night. He told me that since I could not be trusted to tell Him exactly how I felt, He would just have to keep me with Him. Honestly, sitting here, listening to the other Masters discuss the running of the compound, is far worse than any punishment Master has given yet.
Master assured me this morning that it wouldn’t be a very long meeting. But, I am so tired. I can feel the pin pricks in my lower back. This means things are not going to end well. Master is going to be very upset when He sees the largest omission so far.
Finally, Master rises, and I feel a pat on my head, telling me to rise as well. Swiftly and silently, I do as asked, and wait for everyone to leave.
I know what is coming.
I trail behind Master as we snake our way through the connecting hallways. I am unsure what Master has planned for the rest of today, I am only praying that I can escape his sights long enough to compose myself.
My hands clench tightly. Apparently, luck is not on my side.
Almost as soon as the door closes, my knees give out. I hit the floor roughly my body tense. My palms hit the floor in front of me, holding the bulk of my weight. I know this will pass. I close my eyes tightly. Master has never seen this before. I would say I fear his reaction, but I am more resigned than anything.
The first Master (or my maker as I often refer to him) did not react well to my imperfections.
I am thrown against the wall. I know better than to pick myself up. Maker prefers to see me beneath him. I have no desire to antagonize him further.
“I put all this effort into you slut, and this is how you repay me?” he snarls at me, his spit hitting my side.
My head is resting on the inside of my arm. As I feel Maker stand atop my hands, I knew instantly I should have protected them. His weight is heavy. I am beyond making noises of discontent. The darkness in my right eye taught me that lesson.
He turns his boots, grinding down onto my knuckles. It is an indescribable pain. I will be cradling them for days if he continues. He steps off my hands after a couple minutes and proceeds to kick me in the stomach.
I hold firm in my silence. I must pick the lesser of two evils. Right now, he will take any sound as disobedience.
“Get up.” He growls at me. “Lest I beat you where you lay.”
He knows I can’t. That is why he is so angry to begin with. I am nothing but a disgrace at this point. Broken. Disfigured. Disappointment.
I roll onto my stomach, my arms stretched above my head and my legs are as straight as I could manage without moving them.
“You will count. When you cannot manage to count anymore, I may consider your punishment served.”
Without the benefit of a warm-up, I felt the raw sting of his cane. “One, Maker.”
Another. “Two, Maker.”
Once he got bored of the cane, around forty hits or so, he switched to the ball-chain flogger. Its feeling is unmistakable. It is sharp and cold, uncaring of my pain.
I lost count around sixty. My fists were clenched and my eyes dripping. The harsh breathing of both of us echoed throughout the dungeon. He did not stop. In his words, he promised to only think about it.
It was a blessing when I passed out. Though, when I awoke, I found myself shivering and alone in the darkness.
Even now, that phantom cold seeps into my bones from time to time.
My body is tired. I have not been entirely honest with Master about how I am recovering. Just a couple nights ago, He chastised me for not telling him I was ill. I don’t know how to explain to him that I have never been allowed to be sick.
I am, and must always be, fine.
When the tensing eased, and my breathing settled, I took a small liberty and looked up. I was almost convinced (and quite hopeful) that he had just left me to my devices. I was not that lucky.
My eyes met his. I can see the concern in them. I do not understand why he is so worried. He can always get another toy.
When it becomes apparent that I am not going to give the reasons for my collapse, I hear him sigh. “Come here, pet.”
I weigh the options. Either way, I am in trouble. Do I speak out of turn and tell him the truth, or do I stay silent and let Master believe I am willfully ignoring Him?
Deep breath. “I can’t, Sir.”
Two snaps. “Now.”
“I can’t Sir. I am sorry.”
“You seem to be saying that a lot lately.” You uttered softly. I watched you rise from the chair and move forward. Before I could protest, your arms wrapped around me, and I was cradled to you. I rest my head against your chest, your heartbeat steady in my ears.
I do not know how I thought to hide this from you. I just didn’t want to be auctioned again Sir. Please don’t send me back.
We ended up at my favorite spot. You sat me on the floor at the base of your wingback chair. The carpet is soft here and it is close enough to the fireplace to stay warm but far enough that I stay comfortable. As much as I haven’t mentioned it, I think you know that the light of the fireplace soothes me.
My back is set against the chair leg, and I slowly rearrange my legs so they are stretched out in front of me. My hands start massaging the back of my thighs. This is going to be a slow and painful process, but necessary to get feeling back in them before dawn.
You reach down, sliding your hands into my armpits. You pull me sideways until I am sitting between your legs. I continue massaging once you let go.
“You have some explaining to do, girl, and I want the whole truth. We just discussed that I will not allow you to continue to omit information, especially regarding your health. If you cannot be honest, I will release you.”
My hands pause. I shiver. I hate when his voice gets like this. I do not want to go back. No one will take me. I will be fodder for the masses.
Should I beg you Sir? Should I apologize for trying to please you? I have only ever been ridiculed Sir, and I just wanted to be perfect for you.
Softly, I stumble to answer you. “If you can give me an hour or so, Sir, to be able to move, I will get out of your sight.”
Your hands drop onto my shoulders and grip ever so slightly. I can sense you are trying not to lose your temper with me. You tilt my head back so our eyes meet, and I can no longer hide the tears in my lashes.
“Talk to me.”
“You said you were sending me away Sir. I am unsure what is left to say.” I answer flatly.
“No, I said I would if you could not learn to trust me completely.”
“I am trying Master.” Why wouldn’t he believe me?
“Then why do you question me so and why have you not told me what caused your collapse earlier? Tell me, why do you skirt the questions?”
Finally, I snapped. My temper fiery and out of control. I snapped my head forward, fighting against him as he tried to tug it back.
“Do you really want to know about this? I am broken Master. Nothing more than a marionette living on borrowed time. It is called Hypokalemic Periodic Paralysis. What it means is that I will never live up to what you want Sir. You were swindled. You bought a broken toy Sir.” My hands tightened on my thighs. “They call me a monster Sir. I scare them. You are the first to see me without seeing Maker first. I did not intend to deceive you. I just didn’t want to go back.”
The fight is gone from me. I have blown it. Surely Master will toss me to the wolves now.
Calmly, Master listens to me vent. I stare into the fire. It was only the even tempo of his breathing that keeps me from falling into myself.
“How does this affect you, pet?”
I am a little startled at your question Master, but I answer quietly. “If I can keep massaging the muscle, I am more likely to get feeling and movement back sooner. It jumpstarts the sensations.”
You stand and step over me. You hold your hands out for mine and I grip them tightly. You spin me slightly until my side is against the chair. “Are you able to lay back unassisted?”
“Yes, Sir.” I hate this position. It brings back so many terrible memories. I lay back and move to raise my arms. You let me know I can keep them by my side. While I know I will never raise my arms against you, it brings me comfort to know it is physically an option.
“I am going to massage your legs. You will tell me if, at any time, it hurts. Is that clear?”
And so it went. Every so often, I would wince just a little too much, and you would stop and wait. The first time I did not understand. So, you tapped the spot on my leg again, and when I winced, I understood.
“That hurts, Sir.”
You nodded and continued. By the time you finished, there was no hesitation in telling you when it hurt.
“Better. You are learning, pet.”
I smile, ever so slightly. I lifted my head enough to watch my toes. With much concentration, the toes started to twitch. No matter how many times I go through this, it always brings relief when I can move once more.
You crouch down and offer me a hand to pull me into a sitting position. “It is good to see movement.” You meet my eyes. “and even better to see you smile.”
I had forgotten He had never seen me smile. I have learned to keep hidden the gruesome sharps that were once my teeth.
I looked up at Master, surprised. “Do you wish to see me smile Sir?”
He raises his eyebrow in challenge.
So, hard as it is, I meet his eyes and smile.
It feels sinister.
When You lean down, kiss my forehead, and tell me I am a good girl, I know I was right to trust you.
Punishment, harsher than You have yet to give me, awaits me tomorrow. I know that. I have taken many missteps since you purchased me, Master.
But, if I can smile without making you recoil in disgust, then I will bear whatever you have to offer.
Even as broken as I am, I am at your service, Master.
Thank you for leaving the light on.