Dexx Interviews Hudsy Hawn

Dexx: You seem to have your hand in quite a lot of different projects and activities in the kink world. You have the Stockroom University and you’re well known for various TV appearances. I’d like to explore how you got into all of this kinky stuff in the first place. When did you first realize that you were kinky?

Hudsy Hawn: I had no idea until I was getting a divorce and I met a Dom by accident on Craigslist. Up until that point, I hadn’t explored it at all except maybe a “who’s your daddy” spanking during vanilla sex. But I had no idea- I’d never even thought about BDSM. I’d seen those pictures of men in chaps or the woman in a comedy movie holding a whip but that was the extent of it. But then I met a man in the middle of the night, literally in the middle of the night at 1am in 2005. And I thought I was going over for a booty call and instead I was ordered to my knees. I crawled around on the floor and drank red wine out of a bowl and my love of kink was born.

That’s great. Did you have some hesitancy at the time or did you just kind of say, “Wow this is fantastic, this is for me!”

I think because I was suffering through a divorce and feeling very lonely, I was kind of acting out with my choices. Looking back I could have been a little more careful. Who I am now, I’m a lot more careful but I think that back then, that’s how it had to happen for me. The element of surprise knocking me over into this world of excitement I never knew about and lucky for me, it was someone who was sane enough to have not turned me off of to it forever.

So now it seems like it’s become a pretty big part of your life. Do you do other stuff as well or is it all kink?

(laughs)Well I had childhood plans to be a singer but then I kind of fell into this world ten years ago. I love it so much because for me its like therapy. It’s a little bit like figuring out what makes someone tick and how you can best get along with your partner through the acts of BDSM and roleplay. Before this I was a hotel supervisor, a special events planner, a cover band singer and musical theatre performer so I’ve kind of taken all of those vanilla jobs and fused them into my high profile BDSM career. I curate events and classes here at The Stockroom Hall. I still love to perform onstage; I enjoy taking my vast knowledge of modern music and creating new outside the box versions of popular tunes. My autobiographical show The Mermaid Diaries: Beneath the Covers is all about my journey from vanilla to kink. I use my own original music and well known covers to tell my story in a way that’s outlandish and different, with a dose of BDSM. I find a way to blend all of my lives and jobs together, if that makes sense.

You used to work at The Dominion as a Pro Domme so I’m curious about how you first got into doing that, working on the Pro side?

Once I discovered BDSM, I started going to the clubs and at the clubs I met people, some who were pro and lifestyle and I thought why don’t I try being a pro submissive? I love being submissive so I went in and interviewed and they hired me and that already was five years into my kink journey, back in 2010. I found that I loved it and I loved being around the other women and I loved meeting all of the different people and the clients that were into it. I had a lot of mentors there that helped create who I am today. While I was there I became a switch and discovered that in my personal life I prefer being a switch but now that I’m a grown woman, being a Pro Domme is better for me personally and professionally.

When you were first starting out as a Pro was there a training program to teach you how to be a pro submissive or a Pro Domme or did you have a particular person who mentored you to teach you those skills?

Well, The Dominion or any Dungeon/House is a great place for people to go work and learn BDSM skills. If you want to go learn about protocols and behaviors its best to find a personal mentor and that could be at a dungeon where people work or it could be a personal relationship or a friendship or more. I have been lucky enough to have mentored with a lot of great people. Lady Hillary, Mistresses Snow Mercy and Nikki Rouge, RevMel and many others have taught me a lot about how to be FemDom but then all the relationships I’ve had, men that I’ve been a submissive to or fetish family members I’ve been close to… The Dominion’s Resident Male Dom, Sir Rucifer is also my dearest brother, I love him to death and he’s taught me a lot. My exes have also taught me about what does and doesn’t work in a D/s dynamic. The local community has mentored me more than any one person or place.

Is there much cross over between the people that are paying clients say like at The Dominion and the fetish scene in terms of events like munches, classes, and play parties? Is it the same people or is it distinct crowds?

I find that in my experience people that pay for sessions are people that are private and so you won’t see them out at the clubs whereas the people at the clubs tend to be people who are already together as a couple or are all friends and so to me its been a separate energy. Separate clientele. There’s the clients who pay for it and they keep their life private from everyone, then there’s the people who actually don’t pay for it and just go to the clubs and play with each other. Because they can. That’s not to say that people that pay for sessions are always private, some people are completely out there. I’ll have people come in that do a session with me but I also see them at a Fetish Ball. I’ll say a large percentage is people that don’t take it anywhere else.

Switching over to talking about Stockroom University,what is the Stockroom University all about?

Every Saturday afternoon The Stockroom University is about helping bring kink education to the vanilla mainstream person who is curious and ready to take it to the next level. We want to offer direction in a safe, sane, and consensual way. We try to cater to all class topics and requests and desires, whether it be beginners who want to know how to get started, or to people who have been doing it a while who really want to learn a different angle on what they love. We also provide our space for a lot of sex positive evening events. We have sex educators come in and do their own private events, we’ve had burlesque events, and put on shows. I did my autobiographical show here. With upcoming seminars and fetish film festivals underway, the sky is the limit.

So there are a lot of first timers or beginners coming into the classes?

Sure, I’m seeing a lot of new faces in the year I’ve been here and that makes me really happy because I see that what we’re doing is creating sex positive support and making a difference. People have a safe place to go and then afterwards they get a discount in our Syren Boutique store. So they can actually take what they learned and go buy something and enjoy themselves that same night.

So what kind of topics have you covered so far?

Oh, so many; animal play, shibari, protocols and positions, various panels, (FemDomme,male submissives…) We’ve had transgender panels, love of latex classes, leather and boot blacking instruction, and even instructionals on fisting and rough sex. We always give a disclaimer at the beginnings of these types of classes for obvious reasons. We want to make sure people understand what will be shared before class starts so we have their consent and understanding of content.

So who are you typically pulling in to teach these kinds of classes? Is it people from Los Angeles or all around the country?

We have people from all over. We have repeat educators like Sunny Megatron and Ken Melvoin-Berg who are from the Showtime show Sex with Sunny Megatron. They come in a couple times a year and do amazing classes. Last time they were here they did an edge play class. They’re going to be doing a Halloween class on Hilarious Humiliation. Midori comes in a couple times a year as well. She will be here tomorrow with a class on Rope Dominance. We have a lot of local names in the community like Orpheus Black, Snow Mercy, Danarama, Sir Nik Satanas, Nikki Nefarious and many more. We even had some BDSM erotica authors come in and they did a panel and sold their books, but I’m also open to new instructors contacting me and if their experience and course is right for us, we’d love to have them. We’re open to meeting new people, it’s just a matter of if they have they taught before, and can I see a history of their career so that I make sure I’m protecting our students and our curriculum integrity.

The Stockroom seems to be a pillar of the BDSM community here in LA but I guess the whole country as it seems to be the main supplier of toys.

I’ve heard Our CEO and Founder Joel Tucker tell the story himself how about almost thirty years ago he was a young college kid wanting to be able to flog his girlfriend at the time but he couldn’t afford the expensive toys the local stores were selling. He was like, “Why don’t I do this myself?” He found the materials and he started making product in his apartment and he became so successful, taking mail orders and creating his own catalogue. JT’s Stockroom eventually became The Stockroom and we are still the first original and most successful internet source for Adult Toys.

You touched on this earlier , but have you noticed and increase in BDSM since the Fifty Shades movie came out earlier this year?

Definitely. I’ve noticed a change, an improvement in interest and I’ve noticed that people that come in are people that I haven’t met in the scene, and its even older couples which makes me very happy because I see that they are invigorating their relationships with this. I’ll ask what brought them to this and they’ll say my wife liked the book or I saw the movie and wanted to check out some toys and I was very happy to see that you had some classes because after I buy the toys its like “what do I do with this?!” It’s great to have that option for them.

That’s fantastic! So would you say generally speaking, BDSM is becoming more accepted within society as a result?

I think the books and films on BDSM have helped tremendously and I appreciate that. And I think that it’s just going to get better. I know that the Fifty Shades trilogy is going to milk it a little bit longer and by then I think there will be even more stories coming out about it which will be very supportive. I think the stigma that happens that some in the community dislike is that we’re hurting ourselves or that it’s not consensual or that we had something happen in to us in our childhood. For me there’s nothing like that. It was always just about realizing BDSM helped me connect with my partner. And I liked that and it forced me to focus on things because a lot of times people will be doing missionary and they’ll be looking over your shoulder. You don’t know if it feels good or if they’re into it or if they’re thinking about something else and with BDSM you are forced to connect. Some of the sexiest roleplay I’ve done is just my partner and I staring at each other and we don’t touch each other. You know, it taps into that mental telepathy or something and I think that’s great. That’s definitely something that you need in a good scene.

So The Try Guys video, its had over 3 million views now. It seems like that was a fun project to be involved in.

Yea, its been great! My good friend Steven Aleck asked me to do it. He produced a lot of the Buzzfeed videos. They called me in and he said we just want you to show us the ropes so to speak and I asked, well is this going to be lighthearted or are you just going to make fun of it? Because if you’re going to make fun of it, then I don’t want to make fun of what I love. They said no and I watched their videos and they do everything very respectfully and what makes them so successful is they’re these average guys trying something that isn’t average and allowing the viewer to experience it safely from their computer. That’s why they’re a huge hit. That’s why that video is doing really well. And I don’t read the comments but I think that it’s only helping to have a light hearted attitude about it. They were great fun, it was a really short shoot, and we got to feature some of The Stockroom’s gear. They were also using Love Honey gear, which is the official Fifty Shades of Gray toy. So I was kind of taking turns with both of the different designs and it was a lot of fun.

And you’ve been involved in some other vanilla TV projects like Storage Wars and have you ever any negative reactions from people about BDSM while you’ve been working with people from outside of the kink community?

No, I mean I’ve worked for some very mainstream vanilla companies and I’ve even worked at the happiest place on earth and they all knew about it; my immediate colleagues knew about it. They all thought it was hilarious and would ask me questions and I could see them logging information for later. And I haven’t had any negativity but I think I’ve always just been so open about who I am even before kink that everyone in my life is just used to it. So they just go “Oh that’s just her. Doing that thing again.” I have had some people hint that they preferred it when I was just a singer and I’m like, why not put my kink story into my singing? I think that makes me more interesting. You know that old song from Gypsy, “You gotta get a gimmick” (if you wanna get ahead?) You know kink is an accidental gimmick to my singing career that’s happened so I enjoy using that for all it’s worth. Both are a part of me.

I saw your stage show at at DomCon, it was great and clearly you’re a talented singer and performer. Did you have some prior experience doing theatrical stuff or other stage background?

I started in high school doing musical theater. I did it in college as well. And then the cover band business kind of fell into my lap by accident. So the reason I kind of call the show Beneath the Covers is because I was a cover band singer for fifteen years so I know hundreds of songs in my head and I love taking them and tweaking them and that’s why I use them in the show. That was my bread and butter for years.

Being so well known in the community do find that when you go out and just want to do a play session at a play party that you get mauled with people that all want to say hello?

If only it was that exciting! That picture is very complimentary but that doesn’t really happen. I think the reason it seems that way is because I’ve done some internet and television and being in the right place at the right time. There are so many well known Dom/Domme’s that have done much more than I have that I deeply respect. I just happened to hit at the right moment when BDSM became a mainstream big deal, so I’ve had some success because of that. When I’m out and about I have had some people say hello to me. They know me from Storage Wars or Try Guys or The Real Fifty Shades of Grey. But I’m still just that quiet little girl from Alaska.

And do you have any words of advice for anyone young who wants to get more involved in BDSM or just starting out in the scene as an adult?

I’m considering a way to do something to help y­­­­­­­­­­outh because I’ve had some sex educators and psychologists come to me and tell me that they’re actually doing counseling with high schoolers and their parents about how these kids are playing in private with each other. The parents would rather they speak to a psychologist in that field or someone like me who has an educational series where we can help todays youth understand what this all means and how to do it safely. BDSM books and movies have so many fans now, people like thirteen are finding this online and doing this. And I’m not saying that BDSM is wrong, but whatever happened to being a kid? I think that it’s very important that if anyone wants to get involved whether it’s a teenster or an adult, do your homework, do your research. Don’t just go online and meet up with somebody. I did that and I’ll tell you what, he was sexy at first, but he was completely unskilled and he injured me more than once. And yes, if it weren’t for him I wouldn’t be sitting here talking to you so I’m thankful for my history but I wish my first experience had been with someone who knew what they were doing and had experience dealing with someone elses well being. The best thing any newbie can do is be careful and read books like SM 101 and be a part of different educational series where you learn about safety and consent and not about just getting out there. Education is very important.

Hudsy Hawn is the Head Mistress of Special Events for Stockroom curating classes for Stockroom University and outreach programs for the Los Angeles area. You can read more about Hudsy and contact her here.