Can you tell us a little about how you became involved in the Kink Community? Can you tell us a little about yourself, your career, and your current involvement in this community?
I became involved in the kink community in the nineties when I started going to public events. Prior to that, it had been a private part of my life. For a time after that, it became most of my life, because I immersed myself in it. I joined organizations, took classes, socialized, wrote about and worked in the kink community for years and then started teaching and organizing events, as well. My participation has ebbed at times, but ever since I set foot in that first nightclub and was warmly welcomed, I have been a member of the kink community, and I always will be.
A little about myself: I was born in California and have lived all along the coast, until recently moving to Fort Worth, TX. I think the details of my life that best describe my personality are my degrees, a B.A. in Philosophy and a Master’s in Psychology. I love to travel for the learning experience of being somewhere foreign and meeting people who live in a different way.
My dominatrix career, I owe to the generosity of the late Mistress Sabrina Belladonna, who hired me to join the lineup of dommes in her house of domination, The Velvet Underground. After I went independent, I started going to NYC for sessions once a month and traveled the world to play. I also began performing on stage at Club Sin-A-Matic and other venues. Later, I owned a dungeon, The Halls of Justice, on Sunset Blvd in Hollywood where I began teaching to train several dommes who worked there. I’ve continued teaching and have mentored many of the globe’s most successful ProDommes. I hope that I honor my mentor and give back to the community by teaching what I know at conferences, in weekend immersion workshops and on the phone. I don’t do in person sessions anymore, only phone and webcam.
What fulfills you most about being involved in this community?
Giving back to the community that has given so much to me.
Has kink led to any self-growth for you? How has it helped you in your own life?
My relationship skills have definitely grown through the practice of negotiation, setting boundaries and the co-creating process of kink. I’ve also learned important lessons through my mistakes. For example, underestimating the impact I could have on a play partner taught me to be more careful in my all my interpersonal interactions.
What do you find most beneficial about being a dominatrix?
The humility that comes from being placed in a position of power.
What do you feel your clients gain from sessions with you?
I hope that they gain at least a temporary satisfaction of their desires/needs.
What are your specialties?
Verbal and psychological domination.
What is the biggest challenge you have faced concerning your job?
The confusion that clients now have about how to find and evaluate ProDommes, which compounds their lack of self-understanding about their kinks and fetishes that they used to gain from guidance by experienced dominatrices.
What are your core values? How do these factor into your profession, your involvement in the Kink Community, and your personal life?
My core values are Integrity, Honesty and Compassion, by which I am guided and try to uphold in all aspects of my life.
What is the best advice you can give to someone that wants to become a dominatrix? What makes for a great Dominatrix?
My best advice is to take classes from people who can give you helpful feedback.
A great dominatrix is safe, ethical and skilled.
How do your own fetishes factor into your work?
There are some things I won’t do, and some that I like best, but in general, it is not what we do, the kinks or fetishes, but rather how we do it together that matters to me. It is the energy exchange that I care about most. My biggest “fetish” is excelling in my scenes. My favorite kinks are flogging, sensory dep and hypnosis.
What do you feel is the biggest challenge the community faces right now? What do you feel needs to be done about this? How can your work help? How can the general public help?
The biggest challenge is growing too fast to maintain safety standards by educating newbies. I think that we need to be welcoming of new people and take personal responsibility for being helpful and informative. Some people don’t want to share what they know, I think that attitude hurts the community. My work can help when I teach basic and free/less expensive classes and post info on the internet. The general public needs us to help them through conscientious interaction, understanding of their ignorance, and a willingness to inform their curiosity.
What is the best advice you can give to someone concerning power exchange dynamics?
Don’t let anyone tell you who you are, what you want, or when it is too much for you – decide for yourself.
What are some common misconceptions about being a D type? What do you feel needs to be done to eradicate this/these stereotype(s)?
A misconception is that D types don’t need aftercare. I think dominants asking for their own aftercare needs to met, even if it feels uncomfortably non-dominating, is important.
When did you first know you were kinky? Was it evident in childhood?
Yes, it was evident to me early on that I was into kink, so I started playing in my teens.
Do you have a personal motto? How do you live by this?
I don’t have a personal motto, I haven’t found one that feels right.
Are you currently working on any new projects? If so, what are they?
I am working on improving my classes, and looking into new ways to teach through webcam conferences and maybe online modules.
What would say is your overall mission concerning everything kink? How do you plan to achieve this?
My overall mission is to contribute through my teaching and writing and to try to honor my mentors in every act of participation, no matter how small.
Any closing words?
Thank you for this experience, answering your questions required introspection, vulnerability, and community awareness
About Simone Justice
Simone Justice is a BDSM Hall of Famer, long time lifestyle member of the BDSM community, internationally renowned dominatrix, BDSM educator, mentor to many of the world’s top dominatrices, Sublime Lady of OWK, producer of kink events, performer, TV & film BDSM consultant and writer.