New to kink?

Curious about BDSM? Not sure where to start?

Welcome, you’ve come to the right place.

While some of the articles here are intended for experienced players, plenty are also aimed at people who are learning about what BDSM is, how to meet people to play with, and how to do it safely. You can find articles aimed at people new to BDSM here. Be sure to check back each week to see what’s new.

Something important to mention up front is that BDSM is very different from abuse.

BDSM may involve pain, it may involve confinement or physical restriction, and in may involve one person dominating another. However, it never involves any of these things unless everyone involved wants to do it, consents (agrees) to whatever specific things are wanting to be done, and is fully aware in advance regarding what it is they are consenting to. Anyone involved in a BDSM scene also has the right to stop at any time, regardless of what they had previously consented to. If someone is inflicting pain, domination, or confinement on another person without their complete, informed consent, that is not BDSM – it is abuse or worse. Please read future articles here for more details about safety, red flags, and tips for attending BDSM Community events, meeting people, and negotiating play scenes.

Now that we’ve got the serious stuff out of the way, I hope you have many wonderful experiences in your discovery of BDSM and kink. If you have any questions about any aspect of the lifestyle, please send them to us with the form below and one of our experienced writers will answer them for you in a column.