You may remember a while back that I wrote about the possible relationship between some of my childhood experiences and my desire as an adult to have a nurturing Dominant [www.kinkweekly.com/article-
I created a survey with six questions. I had dreamed of a thousand responses, but hoped for a hundred. Unfortunately, I only received 74 as of the middle of October, however, I feel that summarizing my findings to date is important. People who contributed have a share of ownership of these results.
I inquired first about gender, giving options for non-binary gender as well as the ones assigned at birth. The majority of responses were from individuals identifying as female (eighty-four percent), while fifteen percent identified as male, and one percent reported being a female who was assigned masculine gender at birth.
Ages ranged pretty evenly across the spectrum. The range of 23 to 27 received twenty percent of responses. The range of 28 to 32 received eighteen percent and 33 to 37 received eight percent. The range of 38 to 42 received the highest percentage of responses at twenty-three. The range of 43 to 47 received another twenty percent. The percentages began to drop some as the ranges increased, with 48 to 52 receiving seven and 53 to 57 receiving four. There were no responses in the ranges past age 57, making the bracket for all responses between 23 and 57.
As this was a preliminary survey, my intent was to be as broad as possible, since more focused research can always come later from anyone who may desire to continue following this information. The next question asked how many biological parents were present in the home. Four percent of respondents replied that zero biological parents were present. Thirty-nine percent had one biological parent in the home, and fifty-seven percent had both biological parents in the home.
The next question provided a scale from one to five, asking respondents to identify where they felt their home environment prior to age 16 fell on the scale from least emotionally stable to most emotionally stable. Twelve percent responded that their environment was the least stable, thirty-nine percent ranked it slightly higher. Twenty-eight percent ranked their environment in the middle, neither stable nor unstable. Nine percent ranked it as fairly emotionally stable, and eleven percent chose most stable.
As this survey was open to all respondents who chose to answer, the next question was an attempt to identify the role of each in their relationship dynamic, assuming kink leanings. Twelve percent of respondents were the Mommy or Daddy in their dynamic. On the bottom side of the slash, twenty-four percent identified as little, and nineteen percent identified as middles, fifteen percent identified as babygirls or babyboys. Thirty percent chose their own title rather than one from the list, and those included: Caregiver; little / middle; slave / fuckdoll; slave; baby sub with the specification of no age play involvement; big (age 17 to 22); Switch; Sadist; babygirl / kitten / brat plus submissive with service slave tendencies, including primal prey; litte / babygirl; between little and middle; submissive / masochist / subsadist; slut; submissive with some babygirl leanings; middle / babygirl; submissive and babygirl; exploring; submissive; middle / submissive / slave; girl with no age regression; Mommy with a little side; and a former Mommy.
Thirty-nine percent chose to answer the optional question at the end, which was an open box with an invitation to share any additional information the respondent felt was relevant. While my intent is to share my findings in this article, without drawing any conclusions at this point, as I feel those should be separate from a clinical analysis of numbers by themselves, this section was a difficult one to do that with. Having added that question as a catch-all, I was unprepared for the emotional nature of the responses provided. Some clarified information they had related in a prior question, but many shared painful details of their personal stories. I was honored to be trusted with their words and their pain.
I know that sharing this information cannot heal the hurts of time. I hope that as we each come to understanding about who we are, what we want in our relationships, and how to find the things we each need to feel whole, sharing it will help us understand ourselves a little better, and perhaps help us guide others to paths of healing.
About the Author
Christmas bunny has been exploring kink since she was legal to do so. Her serious writing started in college, where she accidently got some of her papers published in educational journals. She has recently expanded her writing to include her kink journey. She began writing in the physical realm, but shed some of her inhibitions and began sharing those entries with others. She now keeps an active blog of her personal growth and her relationship with her Master / Daddy Dominant and writes helpful educational posts on a variety of subjects.