Contrary to popular belief, being a submissive is quite liberating and empowering. I’m a natural sub myself — I find it oddly invigorating to give away control of my body to a tyrannical dominant. As such, I enjoy being told or sometimes forced to do stuff in the bedroom and getting spanked occasionally for my indiscretions.
At first I thought it was weird that I was comfortable with pain, humiliation, and being generally pushed around in the bedroom. After a deep search on the internet, I met an entire community of individuals that fancied BDSM as much as I did.
A Fetish Like Any Other
After lengthy research, it was clear that submission is a legitimate fetish worth exploring. This realization further fuelled my curiosity; I needed to learn more and perhaps get in touch with this new side of myself. The internet is a great place to start, as there are a lot of resources on the subject.
Some portray submission as some kind of lame fetish that only appeals to the weak. Note that a lot of the information you’re likely to come across is people’s personal opinion on the subject. Look for something positive, testimonies of other subs living the dream. I found plenty of those myself, and they helped fashion the submissive I am today.
There’s Always a Way out for When Things Get Intense
Every submissive gets to decide the limits they are willing to go to. There’s always a safe word for when things get a little out of hand. Not even your master can ignore the safe word. It is a signal that they are going past your breaking point and they should stop. A dom that ignores the safe word is a sex criminal, an abuser that should never be a dom.
Learning the Ropes
Moving on, my little research got me hooked. I attended a couple of porn conventions, took my first trip to popular sex and fetish clubs, and in no time I was speaking the language of submission. This was still not enough. I needed to belong, and practice seemed like the next logical move. I met a guy at one of the joints I frequented who eventually showed me the ropes.
Of course, we went out for a couple of weeks before my first rodeo. I trusted him. He knew I was a novice that hopelessly wanted in. He promised to go easy on me, and that’s exactly what he did. My first session was still intense, but nothing I wasn’t expecting. I went home with bruised butt cheeks that evening, and I was proud of myself. I had finally done it, and from that moment it was clear to me that was exactly what I wanted for myself.
Our D/s relationship went on for a couple of months during which I continued learning. I tried dominating a couple of times, but it just wasn’t my thing. My sense of authority never intimidated anyone. Submission turned me on and I was going to stick to my lane.
During my late-night visits to the dark corners of the internet, I learned that I could actually make money off submission. I was still in college and the idea of earning some extra bucks in my free time seemed enticing. For me, this was literally getting paid to have fun!
At the Dungeon
I applied to work at one of the dungeons my then-boyfriend had introduced me to. I was a regular, so it wasn’t hard getting in. To the uninitiated — remember Christian Grey’s playroom in the legendary Fifty Shades of Grey where Anastasia had to learn submission? Well, that is a private sex dungeon. It is typically a room with all the toys for doms and subs to engage in their kinks safely.
A dungeon has all the basic furniture and tools for bondage, like spanking benches, whips, and beds equipped with cuffs among other relevant toys. In my case, I worked at a commercial sex dungeon where we played pretend for paying clients. I was there for about six months before I considered exploring other avenues that would reward my services handsomely. I found dozens of other lucrative gigs for subs, some that I am going to discuss in this article.
It’s been a couple of years since I made my debut as a professional submissive, and I can assure you that it never feels like work. I guess the cliché ‘do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life’ is true after all! What you need to understand, however, is that not everyone is cut out for this line of work. Sorry, but you can’t fake it till you make it around here.
Everything should come naturally to you — you should never struggle with the thought of relinquishing control to someone else. You need to be discerning, have an open mind, and be a sucker for intimacy — a hopeless romantic if you will!
If you believe that you are a good submissive, then you might as well get paid for it.
Here are five ways you can make money as a submissive:
- Submissive In a Public Dungeon
I can personally relate to this gig given it was my first job as a submissive. There’s always a dungeon hiring somewhere. The rates vary from one dungeon to another, but clients always pay hourly rates. There are strict ground rules doms have to adhere to in a public dungeon. It is always scary to work with strangers, but the thought that the dungeon is a controlled environment offers some sort of relief.
The good thing about being a submissive at a commercial dungeon is the guarantee of getting clients. The dungeon does the marketing on your behalf, and you only have to show up to work. If you like a routine job, working at a dungeon can be the perfect fit. Don’t worry about experience; some dungeons are willing to train newbies upon hiring.
- Freelance Submissive
My busy schedule at the dungeon and school took a toll on my relationship eventually. After I parted ways with my boyfriend, I ventured into freelancing. I had the experience, plus I was now more tolerable to things I never thought I’d be comfortable with.
My first clients as a freelancer were some of my regulars from the dungeon. They invited me to their private dungeons and paid me hourly. I was making more money as a freelancer compared to when I worked at the dungeon. It was also easier to meet new friends, doms, and other subs that way.
I even had my first threesomes — both FFM and MMF — as a freelance submissive. I determined my own rates, working hours, and where I wanted to work from. All I needed to make more money was to put in more hours and sometimes charge special rates for certain acts.
Being my own boss was great, but it had its challenges too. It meant that I was now in charge of my own safety. I made sure I met a new client at a neutral public place first before doing anything. Even then, I would text a friend their phone number and address just in case I ended up in a real dungeon. But the scariest of all was working with an amateur. Inexperienced doms can be reckless and even seriously hurt you. It’s always important to find out if they are amateurs so you know how to handle them.
- Live Stream Shows
Like webcam models, subs can also set up online profiles and thrill a live audience with D/s shows. You can create your own site, market your services to prospective clients, or work for an existing camming platform.
The good thing about the latter arrangement is that the site does the marketing on your behalf, and in return you get to split the proceeds from your live shows. Again, payment varies from hourly rates to gifts and donations from clients. Doing live stream shows is safer and helps you reach a wider audience.
- Phone Sex Operator
Yes, that’s actually a thing! A phone sex operator doesn’t have to do much considering no one is looking. You’ll need a sultry voice and an understanding of the lingo. Creativity is not optional at all since you’ll be depending on it to keep the sessions lively. You have to be one hell of a performer to pull off an erotic phone sex session.
You’ll be taking commands like you are in a real-life dungeon. When they spank you, act hurt. Scream; beg them to go easy on you — make your dom feel like they have total control. Keep them on the phone for a long time, and you’ll make good money.
- Submissive Escort
You can market yourself as a professional submissive offering escort services. Some doms prefer private sessions at their place or hotels rather than visiting public dungeons. You can begin by joining an escort agency; split your spoils with them while you gain experience and make a name for yourself.
As you might have noticed, I enjoy working as a freelance submissive. The freedom to create my own schedule; choose my clients, venue, and set the rates is everything I ever wanted since I set foot in the game. I have encountered all kinds of clients over the years and participated in fulfilling some of the weirdest BDSM fantasies imaginable.
Before anything, most doms like to know your limits. They’ll ask you beforehand about the things they should never try on you, and those you are dying to experience. That way the session can be mutually enjoyable.
Yes, I Turned Him Down
I once met this client that wanted me to indulge his scat fetish in a D/s play. He was willing to double my regular fee; unfortunately I wasn’t comfortable with it so we parted ways. But one experience I fondly remember is this couple that booked me for a threesome in my first months as a freelance sub. We met for dinner to discuss the terms before heading to their place.
They had a dungeon right next to their bedroom (I found it cute; it meant I was dealing with experts). One could tell an expert from how they flogged you. The husband was doing the whipping in this case, and he did it with expert precision. They tied my hands and ankles, and the wife was going down on me neutralizing every ounce of pain the whip brought.
This particular session really pushed my limits. It involved melting candles, knives, hair pulling, spanking, verbal humiliation among several other kinks I hadn’t tried before. I gave them one hell of a show, and they never disappointed either. We set up another meeting, and we’ve been close ever since.
What the Future Holds
Freelancing has been more profitable compared to any of my previous gigs. For a while now I think I’m stagnating in terms of earnings. I’ve been relying on my regulars and a few referrals, and I believe it’s time I begin marketing my services aggressively. For starters, I’m setting up a website to advertise what I do. I’ll recruit a few other subs, market them and earn a commission from every client I hook them up with. My prospect list is going to surge, which means more money. If this goes well, I may even resign gracefully and earn from my recruits like a boss.
As you’ve learned, there’s always an avenue for a submissive to make money. Working at a dungeon opened my eyes to new opportunities. It gave me the exposure I much needed to try out new ventures.
Live stream shows can be exciting and profitable, especially if you land a generous audience. There’s stiff competition in live streaming, so your unique performance will set you apart.
Working as a sex phone operator is the easiest gig for a submissive. You only need a convincing voice to stay in business. It is also safe since there is no physical interaction.
An escort on the other hand can make more money than a phone sex operator and a submissive at the dungeon. However, this job comes with certain obvious safety risks involving dealing with strangers. If you find ways to mitigate those risks, working as an escort can be the best gig you’ll ever have as a submissive.
I’ve tried nearly all of these jobs, but I’ve been more inclined to work as a freelance submissive after making a name for myself in the dungeon.
Experience is crucial if you want to make good money as a submissive. Inexperience can be a turn off for some clients, although others might be attracted to the innocence that comes with it. Before diving to the deep end of freelancing, I suggest you get a job in a controlled environment as I did with the dungeon gig. Start with light bondage as your tolerance for pain and curiosity to try more advanced moves grow.
My name is Marina and I’m an adult writer with a background in digital marketing. Being a woman in the adult business world I also thrive to help people make it within this industry since it can be so competitive. I write about fetishes, different adult businesses and all kinds of tips & tricks that could help someone take a step forward.