Photographer: Matthias Wallmeier
Model: Miss Fetilicious
“The putting on of a chastity belt, by a partner, is an indication of the dominance by the “keyholder” over the wearer’s sexual activities. By accepting the chastity belt, the wearer accepts surrender of control over their sexual behavior to a partner, who may grant permission to the wearer to engage in sexual activity by removing the belt. The dominant may decide when, where, how, how often, and even if, the submissive is allowed sexual release.”
The first time I brought up a locked cage to my husband, his initial reaction was, “Fuck no.” That is to be expected. After all, a chastity device requires that his precious penis be behind a cage, thus preventing full erections, and the ability for him to masturbate. In my opinion, the act of chastity is the ultimate power exchange because it requires the dominate to control the submissive’s ability to orgasm.
To be perfectly honest, it was the control part that excited me, long before I realized that I was a Domme. In this article, I want to give readers practical advice on how to find the perfect cage, and different ways to safely and effectively use it in everyday life.
First, let’s get really clear about what a cock cage is. Contrary to popular belief, it is not a torture device. Your man should not be in pain, unless pain is a kink that is agreed upon beforehand by all parties, in which case, they do make cock cages that range in discomfort. Pain is a hard limit for us. With this being said, we have gone through several different cages before we found the perfect one.
The first cage we used was plastic; we have found that a metal cage is the best for us. It doesn’t have any potential sharp edges. We have also found that the metal cages are more durable. The cage should be tight and secure so the sub feels totally powerless. Because finding the right fit can sometimes be tricky, it might take a few cages to find the right one. Following instructions on measuring is imperative. The ring of the cage is the most important to get right. The ring slips under the testicles and secures the actual cage. So, too big or too small will either cause too much discomfort, or be too loose, and not retrain the penis. Before purchasing a cage, make sure you measure correctly and understand that all brands are a little different. Again, it may take a few tries to find the right one.
When it will be worn, for how long, and where the key is going to be kept are all things that should be discussed and consented to ahead of time.
When my husband consented to wearing a cage, it was exciting. Having complete and total control over his penis was not something I took lightly.
Most subs wear the cock cage because they consent to give up total control of their ability to touch their penis. In my opinion, it is the ultimate passing of power, and the Domme should take it very seriously. The cock cage usually comes with a lock, and two keys. I advise that one key be placed somewhere that both the Domme and sub agree on. The other key can be worn by the Domme or hidden.
There are many different uses for the cock cage. It can be worn during sex. There have been several times I have had sex with my slave and made him wear a strap-on. I have made him wear the cage to work, sometimes combined with lace panties. The point is to humiliate, and emasculate him. Again, all of the above limits were consented to beforehand.
It is up to you how long and how often the sub wears the cock cage-as long as he is safe and continues to relinquish control. It is my advice to have fun with it.
You can have him wear it to work and spend the day sending him naughty pictures. Or have him watch porn with you while wearing it all the while taunting him and making him beg for you to release his cage.
I always allow him to take the cage off at night because he finds it very uncomfortable to sleep in. There are people that wear the cock cage 24/7 and only take it off when instructed. If you find that your sub is into that, make sure that he is super comfortable in his cage. Keep in mind that the male penis has many erections during the night, most of which are not sexual. erections, and when in a tight cage can cut off blood flow and be very painful.
Like everything, this type of kink takes research, patience, and practice.
What is it?
Why wear it?
Different types of cages?
Different ways to use it?
When you can answer these questions thoroughly and accurately, then you are ready to begin looking at cages. However, before use a further conversation is required to hash out all limits that are on and off the table.
About the Author
Katie is a 34 year old writer and adult performer. As far as kink goes she considers herself a Domme She likes to write about pegging and CEI since these are both her fetishes.
Katie says
Thanks for reading! <3
subjones says
Great article! I love reading about the FemDom perspective
mistressmoon says
This topic needs to be talked about more. Thanks for giving practical advice on this lesser-known subject,