If you lie awake at night dreaming of having sex with someone other than your husband, you might be Hotwife material. If you think about only having sex with men other than your husband, you may be a Hotwife.
The first use of the word “cuckold” is reputed to be in 1250 in the Medieval debate poem “The Owl and the Nightingale”. Many of Shakespeare’s characters suspected that they had become “cuckold”. The word derives from the cuckoo bird which has a habit of laying its eggs in other birds’ nests.
Today, cuckholding is a fetish. The cuckold is the humiliated husband of the “cuckholdress”, who in today’s vernacular, we refer to as the Hotwife, the adulterous wife who explores her sexuality outside of her marriage with complicit consent and even the active participation of her emasculated husband. This is not a discussion about non-consensual cuckholding. That would be called “cheating”, and the Hotwife lifestyle is an ethical non-monogamous lifestyle.
For a long time, men who had sex with many different women were called “studs” and women who enjoyed sex were called “sluts” in a pejorative way. What the Hotwife lifestyle allows a woman to do is to is to fully and openly explore her sexuality with the approval and support of her husband. She is the modern-day slut as defined by the book “The Ethical Slut” which puts female sexual self-expression into an appropriately positive context.
There are couples where the husband and wife explore her sexuality with the husband sharing his wife with others, where he is not cuckhold. These are the so called “Stags and Vixens” of the swinger world. This is not a discussion of Stags and Vixens. The true Hotwife cuckholds (denies) her husband with more or less severe constraints on his sexuality while she enjoys true sexual freedom outside of her marriage.
The sex partner the Hotwife takes is referred to as a “Bull”. The Bull might be one who is known to the husband or one who is not. In one of my escapades as a Bull, the cuckold husband found me online, and gifted his wife to me to use as I see fit. I would send him pictures of me using his wife and he would stay home to masturbate over the idea that he was getting live real time photos of his submissive masochist wife being dominated by a sadistic Bull.
Humiliation is a big part of the Hotwife lifestyle. She may want her cuckold to help her get ready for a date, buy her pretty lingerie or perfume or even that little black dress, and then she will go out while he is trying to distract himself at home. She might send him pictures or text messages about what is happening to titillate him, and when she comes home with a pussy filled with cum, he might get “afters” and clean up duty or even “reclaim sex” which is so hot.
To be cuckold, one must love his wife with all his heart and to come to terms with the fact that he does not satisfy her sexually and be totally OK with her seeking that satisfaction from her Bull.
So, what drives a man to choose to be cuckold? Often it comes out of a sexual fantasy – “I get hot thinking of you with another man” from him or “I imagine being fucked by xxx. My old boyfriend, when you fuck me” from her…that often leads to that “hot first date”. There is a lot of sexual tension in getting your wife ready to go out on a first date with another man. Its very naughty and so very titillating.
Imagine the tension as she comes home with her panties filled with cum and as she spreads her legs for “reclaiming sex” when he gets to eat her cum filled pussy and hear about her hot sexual encounter with her new lover.
Very often that is the extent of it. They play that game, and it excites their sex life and their marriage.
When the Bull gets involved, it can often lead to more. There are times when she is just more dominant than her cuck is, and she chooses to control his orgasms and explore her own without the Bull’s input. She may cage him and sissify him all on her own for her own pleasure and he may love or even love/hate the experience, and this is part of the excitement.
His denial is a huge turn on for him as well as her. He is sometimes simply denied by her, and sometimes forced to deny by being required to wear a chastity cage. There is something extremely hot about being denied for long time and then being allowed to release with her manual attention. I have known Hotwives who only touch their cucks dick with two finders of her gloved hand and only allow him to cum into a cocktail glass that he must swallow after he is encourage to cum with her two fingered milking.
The Female Led Relationship (FLR) is a very hot topic these days. IN these dynamics, he is denied. He is often caged and further humiliated by being required to wear lady’s underwear, suffer his wife’s sexual prowess with other men, and finally by being pegged by her either when she comes home, or when she otherwise pays attention to him. There are those Hotwives who additionally punish their cuckolds with over the knee (OTK) spankings too.
One of the more common scenarios is the small-dicked man who simply cannot physically satisfy his wife sexually with his tiny penis and she chooses, often with his full support, the satisfaction of being fucked by a man with a large dick. This is true of many Bulls, that they are fortunate to be blessed with a giant cock by usual standards, and they are advantaged by this good fortune to be able to pleasure many women. I have talked to Bulls who have fucked hundreds of women.
Humiliation is one of the major fetish’s expressed in Hotwifeing. Often the cuck is made to watch the Bull fuck his wife while he sits there, sometimes bound, sometimes caged, often both, watching his wife achieve orgasms and sexual ecstasy that he cannot possibly create for her with his tiny inadequate cock. Often, he is subjected to clean up duty. He may have to clean his wife’s pussy or ass, and then he may be required to clean the Bull’s cock too. There are situations where the cuck is sissified. Made to wear sexy lingerie and put on make up and perhaps a wig and possibly stockings, a garter and high heels so that he is pleasing to his wife and or the Bull. He may get fucked by the Bull or pegged by his Hotwife and he may find his cock permanently retired. He exists as a caged “gurl” to service the Hotwife and the Bull.
It is not uncommon in this lifestyle to have the Hotwife develop a relationship with her Bull and start to spend nights over there. Perhaps weekends. I have known Hotwives who have simply moved out entirely, but still require the cuck to financially support her. This turns into a sort of financial domination.
I have heard of situations where the Bull who has usually met the Hotwife privately and away from her home, unexpectedly show up on a Sunday, and while the cuck is fretting over the stove in the kitchen, the Hotwife is being fucked in the family bed.
There is so much involved in this lifestyle, it’s a FLR, it’s often a discipline based dynamic, it is overtly sexual, it involves ethical non-monogamy, it might involve polyamory, it involves gender fluidity, it involves fluid bonding, it involves denial and male chastity. Mostly it is about the full self-expression of her sexuality and her pursuit of her ideal sexual partners.
It turns out that there are many more submissive male cuckhold wanna-be’s than there are Hotwives to go around. Which makes it a buyers’ market. To take advantage of this mismatch in supply and demand, enterprising dominant women are creating opportunities for submissive men to serve. One such example is Femocracy Global which is committed to empowering and supporting Females’ rise to power in every corner of the globe and they invite male submissives to serve.
The point is that being a Hotwife is her choice. She has control of the relationship. She might be his key holder. This is a very powerful dynamic in an FLR. She locks his cock in a cage and she holds the key. Now he is required to take his mind off his arousal and put his attention fully on her wellbeing. She can choose to implement a discipline regime; she can take one or more lovers. She can require him to feminize to please her. She can require that he pay more attention to domestic affairs or more attention to pleasing her and or her Bull. She can dominate him and switch to submit to her Bull. She can be strictly vanilla at home and deeply kinky with her Bull who she may take as her Dom or Master, and she may be able to express herself an a kinky Domme at home. The FLR opportunities are endless.
As in any dynamic, especially one that involves more than one other person, the secret is to be in communication. Make agreements. Stick to them. Talk. That is your access to your full self-expression as a Hotwife. Enjoy the ride!
You might listen to the following episodes of our podcast to heart how real people are dealing with this aspect of sexuality (The Kinky Cocktail Hour can be found is on all podcast platforms, or you can search the archive here https://kinkycocktailhour.buzzsprout.com/).
– The Female Led Relationship
– The Hotwife Lifestyle
– The Mind of a Cuckold
– Stags, vixen, Bulls and Hotwives
– Pegging and Strap on Play
– Chastity Queen
– Domestic Discipline and the 50’s Household
– Cross Dressing
– Chastity and Sissifiction
– Cuck’s, Bulls, and Hotwives
– The Mind of a Bull
– Force Orgasms, Ruined Orgasms and Orgasms in Chastity
– The Pitfalls of Cuckholding
SafferMaster and Lady Petra offer Kink Relationship Coaching with online, group, and personal coaching options.
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Lady Petra and SafferMaster also produce the Kinky cocktail Hour podcast available on all podcast platforms and here: https://kinkycocktailhour.buzzsprout.com/