The Relationship Between My Childhood and My Dynamic

I would hardly say I had a rough childhood.  I rarely wanted for anything material.  Yet at the same time, it was a childhood without the security of loving biological parents.  I was raised by grandparents, and the lack of my natural parents in a regular routine in my life definitely contributed to a lack of emotional security for me. In being someone with a fairly … [Read more...]

It Doesn’t Have To Be The Same

We've all had relationships with characteristics we weren't happy with. Maybe we built a relationship on obligation and reciprocation. Maybe our relationship had controlling behaviors which damaged self esteem, such as ignoring or passive-aggression. Maybe we didn't communicate well. Maybe we closed ourselves off from our partners. Maybe we lied or sought … [Read more...]

There’s a 100% Chance Something Goes Wrong

Going into a scene negotiation understanding not only what you risk in an activity, but actively preparing for things to go wrong is important.  Sure, we aren't required to do that, and some things carry smaller risks, but they say preparation is next to godliness, right?  Something like that, anyhow. The thing is, the first time you play with someone, everything may go … [Read more...]

Total Power Exchange (TPE)

While these relationships may look different on the surface, at the root of them, they are characterized by one individual having the final say when it comes to decision making.  That doesn't have to mean the other party / parties have zero input. There are books written about contracts and power exchange, so today, I'm just going to share what some of our structure looks … [Read more...]

Transactional Kink Relationships

It can be so easy to fall into.  It makes sense. We all want to fill our hearts' desires, yes? Perhaps it's something simple.  It's a frustration, and making a deal will fix it.  "I really need you to do these dishes.  I will have kinky sex with you just the way you want it."  We both win, right? But let's take a step backwards and ask if that's really what we want our … [Read more...]