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Girls Rule, Boys Drool

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One cheerleader dressed in pink. Check.

One cheerleader dressed in blue? Check.

One referee to oversea it all? I looked down at my own black and white striped outfit. Check.

Everyone in pigtails? Double check.

Now it was time to make some boys cry…one way or another.

It was a humid, sticky day at kinky summer camp but with the rain just tampering off minutes before we gathered in the “playground”, I couldn’t help but get a little excited. I really liked beating up boys and I was accompanied by two other women who also happened to like beating up boys.

“Those idiots better not be late,” the pink cheerleader huffed fanning herself with a stack of cards.  Her pink pigtails swung as she shook her head disapprovingly.

“I’ve got complicated math equations for them to solve!”

“…while under duress!,” I chimed in with a smirk.

I looked around at the two women who would be joining me in the handcrafted scene as my own toy bag spilled onto the grass under us. Thirty ice cold filled water balloons, a toy baseball bat, pom-poms, body chalk, homemade pepper spray, Legos and other miscellaneous items littered the area and in turn, filled me with glee.

I spotted the two consenting “boys” coming up the hill on foot out of the corner of my eye.

“Here they are!” I exclaimed immediately putting my brand new purple whistle to my lips.

BREEEET

“LET’S GO IDIOTS!” I yelled down to them.

“FASTER, FASTER!”

The other “girls” looked at me with a twinkle in their eyes as I looked over my shoulder and said, “Remember, today’s lesson is ‘Girls rule and boys drool’ don’t let them forget it.”

Pigtails all around bounced up and down in agreement, pre-scene adrenaline rushing through us all.

“Now GET THEM!” I lifted my head back and yelled.

The girls began to circle around the two of us like vultures with us as their prey. It was clear they were ready to be much more than mean.”Hey loser!,” said one of the cheerleaders in our direction.” You have no idea what we you have gotten yourself into”, said the other one with a more sinister look in her eyes.My Mistress, dressed as the referee, continued to circle us as all, taunting about anything they could poke at: our clothes, our hair, various aspects of our bodies, our respective life choices (or lack thereof), there wasn’t much they held back verbally.

Then for the first time I heard ‘The whistle’, which would become a huge part of our scene. The loud sudden shrieking noise startled both of us boys, but it also seemed to alert anyone within a hundred foot radius that we were about to be get a proper female led beatdown. The crowd gathered and cheered almost anytime they heard its call.

BREEEET!

A flurry of random hands attacked my small, lean body. The outfit I had been given to wear was quite literally roughly ripped open and off my body, the buttons littered the ground around me. My pants were cut off with scissors just enough to allow them to be ripped off too, my tie was tightened firmly against my Adam’s apple and pulled tightly like a leash and my glasses were snatched from my face as Mistress mocked me before she crushed them beneath her foot while cackling with delight. It’s a cackle I’ve heard often. The other girls thought this was hilarious and joined her laughing. Then that whistle was blown again, somehow louder than before.

BREEEET! BREEEET! 

“JUMPING JACKS NOW BITCHES,” Mistress screamed, as us boys hurried to obey. As we began jumping, more and more spectators had gathered around us and started watching. Even at kinky camp I imagined they were wondering what these three women had in their devious minds for us dumb boys. As we jumped we were told to go faster and then even faster. We were told to not waiver even when the water balloons were being lobbed at us from all three of them, they urged us to push ourselves as we raced each other relay style up a hill, they wanted us to ignore the bats and paddles they continued to beat us with all over our bodies with, oh and the rapid fire rubber band gun that was being shot as us as we tried to ‘escape’?

Dodge them as best we could. I tried to just look straight ahead, to sink into subspace, and not worry about the onlookers, or the abuse that I was being subjected to. In that moment I was just focused on jumping jacks and counting them out loud.

1, 2, 3, 4…..11, 12….

The attacks from all three women continued. One drew on us in permanent marker:‘Loser”Bitch”Pussy’

Countless more humiliating words were scrawled on our bodies on every available surface. Raw eggs were thrown at us, and grinded into my skin like tiny shards of glass, our asses were beaten in rotation by each girl with each different implement. Though as people watched and laughed at the two idiot boys allowing themselves to be humiliated like this, I continued to focus:

Jump, Jump, Jump, Jump. 

Just as I had reached the perfect sunken place within my mind, that whistle, pressed between my Mistress’s plump red lips.

BREEEET!

It screeched once again and jarred me back to Earth, back to reality. I heard a sound I always dread hearing the most…electricity crackling. She had forgotten a few outfits, some accents for classes we were to teach that weekend, even a spare pair of shoes, but she had not forgotten the stun gun. My stomach double coin knotted. She knew how much I loathed electric play, especially with this one particular weapon. She knew mentally, it was going to fuck with me.

We all began to chant ‘GIRLS RULE BOYS DROOL! GIRLS RULE BOYS DROOL!‘ over and over for the next minute to ensure the message was really sinking in as they stood naked, half shivering from the water balloons, graffitied for our pleasure, covered in messy egg yolk, silly string, mud and more, on top of the verbal lashings whispered from each of us to them.  

We made them repeat the chant back to us. I wanted them to reaffirm the mantra of today’s scene, and I demanded that every nearby member in the camp ground, men especially, to know that ‘GIRLS RULE! BOYS DROOL!‘ I don’t know exactly how many times I whistled guiding them in that chant.  

BREEEET BREEEET! 

BREEEET BREEET! 

GIRLS RULE! BOYS DROOL!  

I only encouraged them to be louder and louder, as I walked closer and closer until eventually we were nose to nose and I screamed into my sissy husband’s face ‘GIRLS RULE! BOYS DROOL!‘ and then I spat on him and watched him struggle not to shift as the white glob rolled down his face slowly. When I held him down on the ground to force open his eye, only to receive a quick but powerful mist from my homemade pepper spray, a kind spectator offered us water while he flailed around…which I allowed him for a few minutes, but only a few.  

My eyes still burned and were and blurry as Mistress grabbed me from behind. Her mental and emotional dominance over me, suddenly turned into physical, as this is often the case because she likes to show me that physically, I am much weaker compared to her. She pushed me down like her property and dragged me around on the grass by my ankles, my backside took most of the pain.

She, as usual, overpowered me with ease, shoved me face down into the dirt again, then we all began another round of beat Puppy’s sore and bruised body. In this dark yet chaotic place, the mud muffled noise, my mind began again to slip away to that submissive place of peace, even with all the humiliating taunts that were meant only for me to hear.If I am being completely honest, what happened over the next half an hour, I am unable to recall in completely clear details. I was beaten and humiliated in ways I never had been before.

All of my senses were in someway punished, abused, or aroused. The truly stand alone moment of the entire scene happened just after I had been forced to be dry humped by the other boy in the scene, of course only after being made to hump him first. Because, why not? My Mistress was so disgusted with my new display as a sissy husband, that she dragged me up from the ground by my hair and forcibly removed the wedding ring we had only exchanged just two months earlier and tossed it out of sight. I could hear the verbal humiliation, the insults, the threats, the belittling, the constant shouting of ‘GIRLS RULE BOYS DROOL’ and of course that fucking whistle. 

BREEEET!

I could see everything that was happening, but was powerless to stop it. I could see each implement that would be used to beat me, each water balloon that came hurtling towards my body. I could taste the dirt in my mouth. I could also smell the sweat oozing from myself as endorphins tab through me and I continued to be physically pushed more and more and more. 

BREEEET!

I could feel every little thing that was being done to me. So many different sources of painful stimuli, but there is one I remember clearly. Have you ever gotten up in the middle of the night for a glass of water, only to be halfway to the kitchen when you step on tiny but deadly Legos? Now imagine kneeling on Legos. On concrete. Then being forced to crawl on a path of them being laid out before you, handfuls at a time.

No matter how deep I was in subspace, I could feel every little ridge and corner of those pieces of evil Legos!”This boy hates vegetables so I wanted to give him his daily serving today,” Mistress told the other cheerleaders. They smiled and laughed with her by clapping their hands. I hated vegetables she was right. I really didn’t like peas, but I loathed baby food! One girl held the stun gun so close to my body that I felt its heat. 

It was a great incentive to cooperate.Thus, for the first time ever in a scene, even my sense of taste was abused. Holding me again in place by the hair Mistress pulled out a jar of baby food, something she actually enjoys as a real late night snack, said ‘Open wide’ and began force feeding me the green goo. But I quickly realized it wasn’t one of the nice pureed fruity ones she usually eats. I squeezed my eyes shut and tried not to gag, the taste was awful, I wanted to spit it out, but knew I would regret that more if all of Mistress’s actions today had been any indication. 

Scenes like this can be start off highly charged, lighting up the proverbial sky,  but then burnout just as quickly, even for veteran kinksters like myself. Sweat was pouring down my face, my hands were sticky with who knew what by that point, my boots had been licked, kicked, and pressed into floundering, floppy flesh but I was starting to feel my own self drop. It was also clear after about an intense, non stop, 45 minutes of beating, everyone in the scene was sharing my ebb back down to reality. It was a very physically and mentally complex mindfuck of a scene, on a 90° day in the middle of the woods.  

“HAVE YOU ALL HAD ENOUGH?!” I screamed at the top of my lungs bluffing.

I was taking pride that I knew my voice would be lost after this scene.   Neither of them dared answer my rhetorical question but instead awaited further commands, standing silently at attention as taught.   I wanted to end the scene the right way, so I mustered up the last of my energy. The girls roughed them up a little more and the boys were once again pulled to their feet and told to run to one end of the field and back. I saw Puppy’s eyes light up as I knew he was gearing up for this to be winding down. But the competitive streak in him took over and I knew he really wanted to win this race. I think after being told for an hour he was a ‘LOSER’ he wanted to prove he could be a winner, even if only in this capacity. He wanted to impress his Mistress.  

After the sloppy, tired, spacey, race was complete the scene began to come to a true end. The crowd had steadily been growing throughout the scene and Mistress wanted to make sure if they took away one thing from the experience it was that…’GIRLS RULE BOYS DROOL’ We repeated that phrase over a dozen times and everyone within a certain radius of us heard us shout it was loud as we were commanded.Once it had been completed to the satisfaction of all 3 ladies, we were lead down to the communal showers to try and wash away bits of food, dirt, grime, insults scrawled across our bodies, and yes just a little bit of shame. 

I watched Puppy and the other bruised boy walk back to where the scene had started and we just smiled at each other, knowing the scene idea we had first talked about 3 years ago had finally been fulfilled. I gave him a hug, and allowed him to snuggle into me, his attacker, for brief comfort.

Then he whispered in my ear, “Can I have my ring back please Mistress?” 

“What ring? Your wedding ring? I threw that thing somewhere in the grass,” she said nonchalantly as she began to tug me by the makeshift collar of my chopped off tie.  

She was only joking…right???

About the Author
d20domme is unapologetically kinky after over 10 years in the community. She is known as pint-height, poly(androus), plus-size, POC, 24/7 Femdom who knows what she wants and will use her craft in mindfuckery and persuasive viper tongue to get it. Her main kink is normalizing kinky lifestyles across the board and thus she can often be found writing on her blog From Mundane To Mistress, chatting away on podcasts, teaching classes, demos, or presenting locally in the Washington, DC area, New York, and sometimes across the pond in Europe.

Locktober: A Treat For All

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It’s the month often associated with pumpkins, the changing of the leaves, and oh yes, and trick or treat.

The month is truly a treat for those adults who decide to partake in the tradition less often talked about: Loctober.

Yes, a whole, glorious 31, non-stop, no-being-poked-in-the-back-in-the-middle-of-the-night, no boner, chastity play month. This custom, which started online, celebrates the act of locking up (usually) male genitals in a cock cage. This can be done alone or with a partner but for best results I suggest committing yourself to seeing it through, for science of course!

While this is mostly a BDSM tradition, anyone can have at it. The idea is simple: lock up your member for a dom(me) who will torture and tease you all month long without sweet release. It’s helpful to physically hand over the key to said dom(me) for an extra dose of mind fuckery. You’ll get the trick, they’ll get the treat.

Why do people do this?

Why do people do anything remotely sex related? It’s fun, something new to try, a bit taboo, and can be quite sexy all locks considered. There are so many things that I have learned over the years of participating (as a keyholder) of Locktober. I like to think of it as Lustful Lent. You’re giving up something you enjoy (hopefully) to gain better clarity to a higher power (the keyholder), even if only for a month.

It is during this month of tease, denial, and abstinence that real insight can be gained about a person’s sexuality, motivators, and determination. What have you done for 31 days that you had absolutely little to no control over? Probably not much.

Where did chastity come from?

Chastity devices have mostly been used as early as anti-mastabatory devices. Always feared at some point in our history, masturbation has been considered sinful, immoral, a vice, and compulsory self control problem as far back as the first century! This goes for all genders. In present day Paris, at the Musée de Cluny, there is a chastity belt on display that is said to have belonged to Catherine de’ Medici (a.k.a. Queen of France). And as you may have guessed the earliest speak of chastity belts are mostly found in religious readings. If you can’t get “aroused” you won’t be able to fornicate. The first drawing of a chastity belt was shown in a book called Bellifortis, written in 1405 by a German military engineer. To top it off, no one had even mentioned using these cumbersome devices for erotic play until the early 2000s…at least not publicly.

What do they look like?

Chastity belts and cages have come a long way (unlike the wearers!) in terms of designs. The earliest prototypes were crudely handmade mocks of “metal underwear” with holes lined on the outside. These holes had sharp points that jutted away from a woman’s body. Ya know, like horns to keep the horny men, of the Middle Ages, even further away. For a time, this was mostly a female foray. This was to stay chaste during your husband or father’s absence while they were away at some battle of some sort. Perhaps, this is where the popular term ‘Girls Gone Wild’ stems from??

Don’t even ask if they were comfortable, these were built for faithfulness not fun or fashion. One of the first male chastity patents even wasn’t seen until the late 1700s.

Now female and male chastity devices can be found and locked under key. They are available everywhere from online, to sex shops, and maybe even your friend’s bedside drawer. Typically they’re made from medical grade steel, polycarbonate, silicone and are made to wear for long term or indefinite times…like 31 days. (And yes, you can still use the bathroom normally in one).

Who exactly benefits from this?

The magic of Locktober is fun for all. They aren’t even pricey with the bottom tier starting at $25 going all the way upward of $500 for a custom piece. Over the years I’ve racked up a hefty total of over $2,000 on these cocky correction cages. Can you tell I’m passionate about em’? I’ve watched the implementation of wearing one of these devices as purely physical caging always evolves slowly but surely to mental caging. The wearer is physically prevented from touching (and sometimes even seeing!) their genitals. Without the possibility of arousal clogging up our brains, a subtle shift happens. All the energy that was previously devoted to thinking about, fantasizing, or touching yourself is diverted to other areas. Namely the keyholder’s pleasure. You may notice the chastity clad individual now wants to help with chores, listen more intently to your conversations, or even (gasp!) solely focus on your sexual pleasure, all while they are on the brink of sexual skydiving daily. This is only speaking to the short term effects so imagine a full month…or more. (Trust me, it rarely wanes)

As a keyholder I get the thrill and power of literally controlling my partner’s sexual organ and orgasms. However, it also comes with a responsibility by way of pleasure and safety, so read up on this before going the distance. As a keyholder, one of the most important things is making sure that you are also getting what you need out of this arrangement and Locktober is the perfect practice playing field for this. You’d be surprised just how many sexual games there are online to explore this phenomenon.

What’s the gold at the end of the rainbow?

A simple search on social media will show you that Locktober participants are far and wide across the world, sharing picture perfect parts all locked away. It’s totally up to you how you want to go out with a bang or a whimper after successfully completing the Locktober challenge so be as creative as you like.

Anyway, don’t you think you deserve a treat this October?

About the Author

d20domme is unapologetically kinky after over 10 years in the community. She is known as pint-height, poly(androus), plus-size, POC, 24/7 Femdom who knows what she wants and will use her craft in mindfuckery and persuasive viper tongue to get it. Her main kink is normalizing kinky lifestyles across the board and thus she can often be found writing on her blog From Mundane To Mistress, chatting away on podcasts, teaching classes, demos, or presenting locally in the Washington, DC area, New York, and sometimes across the pond in Europe.

The Fine Art Of Flirting

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I’ve often said that I believe flirting should be treated as a fine art. It is not something one can wander into with no experience, no clear objective, and certainly no quips on hand. For me when I am flirted with it either goes into one of two categories: 1) Nice try bum. Next! or 2) Well what do we have here? Those are my only two mental reactions. One of them will lead to an equally flirtatious response from me the other…well…let’s not strive for the other.

I learned at a very young age that flirting was a gateway action. Get that perfected and the possibilities were endless. I’ve been known to give men who may otherwise not have captured my attention a second look-over solely because I was attracted to their flirting technique.

And I’m sure anyone who has swapped racy emails, naughty pics, or even spent a few nights sexting knows that the build up a good flirting does for any future actual sexual acts makes it all the more better.

I know not every person is versed in the way of flirting, so I’m going to give you lackluster ones some quick tips to remember:

When You Least Expect It

Flirting can happen almost anywhere, so always bring your A game…or at least a solid B-. This means we don’t get many second chances. I use to read the ‘Missed Connections’ sections on Craigslist and romanticize about all the people who “Saw a tall, full bearded fellow with a red backpack but was too shy to…”, or the “Person who held the door at the grocery store who gave me butterflies but…”. For me reading them always had me thinking ‘What stopped them?’ It made me realize a missed connection is usually only held back because of the lack of confidence we think we need to flirt like the films. You only need to take a leap…

Timing Is Everything

Notice I said flirting can happen, almost anywhere, not everywhere. This means no flirting at funerals, just after someone has left the bathroom (this always feels creepy), at or during interviews, religious ceremonies, while someone is crying on your shoulder after a break-up, after a car accident, and anywhere else where there is a larger issue for your possible divinely timed meeting. I personally know these are horrid locations because someone has made an asshat attempt to flirt with me at each one. Cue the biggest eye roll.

Don’t Babble

I’m witty as fuck. When someone approaches me with a lame one-liner or even worse…small talk (eek!) I tend to tune out. Tell me something funny, interesting, or an observation of something taking place. If you lack any clever lines, just stick with the facts and tell me a little about yourself and your interests. Don’t get fancy and don’t panic—it will show and it won’t be cute in the slightest. And when all else fails, admitting that you’re nervous will show your humble quality in its finest moment.

No Arm Waving Necessary

A little subtlety goes a looong way. You don’t need to be a complete ass to get someone’s attention. A nod, wink, cocked smile, heavy eye contact or even a specially-timed shy glance could be the only in you need. But choose only one of these and if it’s a wink, only one wink, otherwise it appears as if you have pink eye or you think they are part of some secret club. The worst are the people await for this physical signal to be returned…how about return to sender! I got the hint, now come talk to me.

Hands Off!

No touching unless invited to do so! Let’s assume everyone does not enjoy unsolicited/unconsented touching of their bodies–ever. This is a violation of someone’s rights and  invasion of their personal space, usually punishable by law. They will give you clues if it’s okay to make contact with them and don’t move closer to them than necessary. Watch the shifting of their weight in your direction, etc. When you get the signal be sure to touch them friendly and appropriately. This is a stranger who you do not know intimately.

Listen Carefully

Once you’ve got someone’s attention. Stay engaged and pay attention. If you are interested in something they say, ask her for more details. It’s been proven that one of the top five traits the average person seek in a partner is for them to be a good listener.

No One Owes You Anything

I hate that I have to even say this but it doesn’t matter if someone ignores you, flirts back, flirts first, invites you to their room, insinuates all the things they want done to them—they are in no way shape or form obligated to “make good” or “owe” you any of those things, rather said or hinted at. Flirting can be intoxicating on its own and for some people that’s all it is to them, a tool to make them feel good or flex their sexuality and smooth talking for fun and that’s where it stops. Anytime anyone says no or stop, including you, it should be respected.

It’s All In Your Head

Flirting is an attitude. It’s having a certain air about you, and is mostly a state of mind. If you’re confident in your actions chances are they will too. Nothing says “You want me” like “I KNOW you want me.” (Or least let me attempt to try and show you why you should)

Now get out there and sharpen those flirting skills sexy people, and when you’re on the receiving end, don’t give someone a hard time if they stumble a little…you gotta kneel before you can beg…

About the Author

d20domme is unapologetically kinky after over 10 years in the community. She is known as pint-height, poly(androus), plus-size, POC, 24/7 Femdom who knows what she wants and will use her craft in mindfuckery and persuasive viper tongue to get it. Her main kink is normalizing kinky lifestyles across the board and thus she can often be found writing on her blog From Mundane To Mistress, chatting away on podcasts, teaching classes, demos, or presenting locally in the Washington, DC area, New York, and sometimes across the pond in Europe.

Mommy’s Good Boy

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When I entered the room it was just as I had requested: panties and stockings laid out on the bed. I turned to look at him standing in the doorway, still dressed from the day. He was trying not to blush, his deep brown eyes pleading in my direction. I curled my finger up and motioned.

“Come here,” I purred.

His bare feet shuffled on the wooden floors as he crept closer. Once within arm’s reach I began to fondle his soft skin.

“I shaved just like you asked,” he whispered.

I used my hands for confirmation locking my unwavering gaze on him as I did so.

Legs.
Thighs.
Privates.
Chest.

Yes, they were in fact totally smooth and ready for my fingers.

“Good boy, you know what it does to me when you’re all smooth like this.”

“Yes, Mommy,” he replied.

I stood there for a moment in the candle lit room admiring every inch of him. It was a struggle for me to focus I’ll admit but I managed to find the words I wanted most.

“Put them on.” I was pointing at the items. He took his clothes off and did as he was told. Then I motioned for him to lie down.

I towered over his motionless, pantied, smooth stocking wearing body literally licking my lips.

Mommy was happy with what she saw. Very carefully I stripped down to my bra, tossing my own panties on the floor. I climbed on top of him letting my full weight press him to the bed.

Ohhhmm

He let out a pleasurable sigh with the breath I pushed out. Immediately I placed my hand on his face and turned him to face me. Our noses were nearly touching.

“You’re making Mommy excited.”

He breathed heavier nodding.

“You’ve made Mommy throb.”

He nodded slowly.

“Are you throbbing too? Has Mommy made her little boy big in his panties?” I inquired, clearly knowing the answer.

He shut his eyes tightly, embarrassed by his own excitement. I giggled at his reaction and kissed his lips softly.

“Let Mommy check,” I said sliding down.

“And don’t move, be a good boy and sit still got it?”

He nodded up and down almost peeking over his own nose. I shimmied down his body until his thick, dripping cock was the only thing I could see. I moaned to myself. The sight of his cock never failed to titillate me.

I moved closer until it was just perched on my lower lip.

“Wow you did get big for Mommy like a good boy didn’t you?”

He murmured in agreement, visibly starting to squirm.

I continued to talk softly to his cock.

You know how happy it makes Mommy to know she’s aroused you. And you know that Mommy likes her good boy to please Mommy in any way. Today that way is going to be letting Mommy take you like a big boy in her mouth. Can you do that for Mommy?

I stopped to see if he was still focused on me and his eyes were fixated on my mouth.

“Yes Mommy, I always want to please…,” he started but stopped mid sentence.

My mouth engulfed his cock in its warmness and sounds of pleasure escaped him almost involuntarily. It only took moments before I was alternating between sucking and stroking him and quickly. All the while verbally arousing him.

“Mommy… I… I’m…,” he attempted.

I shushed him.

“Little boys like you listen to Mommies like me. No talking, I only want your good boy cream.”

He gripped the bed and bucked his body in my direction. This made it easier to stroke him faster. I climbed on top of him again and turned my attention to his thighs, licking them in long trails. I knew he enjoyed the feel of my mouth nearly everywhere on him and heard his enjoyment behind me.

“These are such pretty stockings but Mommy can’t get to your legs in them,” I said between kissing the fabric. I kissed up from his ankles to right between his legs and drug my tongue down again. His feet curled.

“Mommy will fix that.”

I found a tiny run in the stocking and wiggled my finger in it, doing the same with my ass in his line of vision.

“Mommy needs these off so I can get to those pretty legs,” I informed him.

Slowly I worked the hole until it was larger and larger and used my sharp stiletto nails to shred them open. Once his legs were exposed I began licking and sucking on the flesh beneath causing him to gasp at the sensation. He was getting worked up already so I moved a bit to see his face. The torn stockings hung loose around his ankles. I pinned him down with my one hand and focused on getting him to the place he belonged; beneath me. My breasts bounced with my increased speeds.

“Mommy?” He whimpered.

“Mmm hmm.”

He called me again but this time I didn’t answer. His whimpers eventually turned into whining and finally I looked at him and not his mesmerizing member again.

“Yes baby?”

His mouth tried to make words but he came up empty.

“You ready to give Mommy what she wants?”

I didn’t wait for an answer as I caressed his face in one hand and his cock in the other. His breathing became erratic and his moans deepened.

This was my favorite part.

My hand felt the familiar twitching and without warning it was covered in a warm, overflowing, whiteness.

I patted his head gently as he tried to gather his breathing.

“There you go sweetie. You were such a good boy.”

He smiled and sank into the sheets as I got up for a towel. He looked as if he were ready for a nap and I knew Mommy had used him just the way we both wanted, like every good boy should be used.

About the Author

d20domme is unapologetically kinky after over 10 years in the community. She is known as pint-height, poly(androus), plus-size, POC, 24/7 Femdom who knows what she wants and will use her craft in mindfuckery and persuasive viper tongue to get it. Her main kink is normalizing kinky lifestyles across the board and thus she can often be found writing on her blog From Mundane To Mistress, chatting away on podcasts, teaching classes, demos, or presenting locally in the Washington, DC area, New York, and sometimes across the pond in Europe.

Hardwired For Hardware

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Years ago I had a very unique and private photography job. I trekked into Washington, DC to an old row house just on the outskirts of the city. A significantly older woman than I was expecting answered. When she saw me she greeted me in but also expressed that I was much younger than she thought.

After some small talk she said in a completely serious tone, “Can you just make this chastity belt look sexy?”

She was referring to the pictures I was preparing to take for her.

For an older woman, I had to give it to her, she still had amazing breasts (which I later learned were well paid for!).

We’d only just begun our photo session when I saw behind her a man walk through the room. Dressed in business attire and striding past as if he didn’t see us. I never even heard him walk into the room, which could all be explained due to the fact that this was all on her computer screen.

“There’s a man…on…your computer,” I said hesitantly with a nod toward her monitor.

She looked over her bare shoulder and exclaimed, “Oh! That’s my Master. Don’t let him see you! These pictures are a surprise for him.”

She scurried to the computer after throwing a silk robe on and had me take a seat in the corner out of line of sight from the webcam. Once they were done chatting we spoke a bit more.

“So…is he away on business or something?” I asked quizzically.

“Something like that,” she smirked and said.

“Oh you’re blushing like a school-girl…what aren’t you telling me?” I goaded her.

“Well he’s not away on business. He lives overseas. We communicate via webcam,” she replied. 

Fascinating. I needed to hear more.

“We’ve been together for 10 years now and we’ve never met face to face,” the woman went on.

I was shocked to hear this. Ten years and they’d never once met?! This was mind-blowing to me. She said that they had talked about meeting a few years ago but that she had backed out with the jitters. Apparently he was “happily” married for half the time of their D/s relationship before his wife caught on to what was happening and filed for divorce.

In their arrangement they left their webcams running 24/7. If he didn’t want her to see anything on his end he just covered it up, but it was always on. She heard his wife and him have sex, argue, saw him fuck other women (namely his secretary) and more. Some of this voyeurism had been consensual, some obviously had not been.

She was essentially a part of their lives without being seen or heard. She on the other hand was never to turn her cam off or cover it. She wasn’t allowed to sleep with other men, and she was to subject herself to his will via cam whenever he wanted. Were she to be asleep he would call her on her phone and command her to the computer. Sometimes he’d order her to clubs for play (just to have her recount her experience) or find other men online and arrange for them to have sessions on cam with her, all taking his requests and direction on how to handle her. In her own words “always including his fetish of gloves”.

“When was the last time you actually felt a man’s touch…in the flesh,” I asked her wide-eyed.

“Ten years, 7 months.”

Wow. How could she commit herself so wholeheartedly to a man she had never met? A man who had never touched her skin? A man who was on a time difference equal to a part-time shift? I was amazed.

“When we met online, it was instant sparks. After months of talking online and on the phone when he asked me to give myself to him properly…I did so without question,” she added.

And she had been doing so for over 3,000 long days. He held the key to her chastity that he had sent to her from overseas and she had not been unlocked for any unauthorized reason.

All of this was so hard for me to believe because I am a firm believer that online play is never a substitute for the real thing. I’ve always felt that it cheapened the experience of real time actions, that it was a gimp excuse for not being able to handle the real thing. But the woman I saw standing before me did not seem socially inept. She was well rounded, had lots of real time experience to boast about, and wasn’t confused about her position with her Master, in fact she was proud, and most of all was happy with her relationship.

I was genuinely impressed.

I’ve been subjected to a slew of real time submissives who didn’t have the integrity that she exhibited for a man who she had never even held in her arms.

I may stand corrected that webcam play isn’t all bad. For some D/s couples it’s a perfect mix between reality and a part of her life that doesn’t need broadcasting. She is perfectly content on serving her Master in any and every way he demands. She renewed my faith in submissives I believe truly serves only for their Dominant’s happiness.

With real time play there’s traveling time, dinners out together, club prices, excessive equipment and accessories, time spent at events while meeting people, and other unforeseen “real life” interruptions…it definitely adds a certain appeal to something web-exclusive. And while it’s not for me, it isn’t as one-dimensional as I had previously pegged it. 

Maybe I’ll leave my own webcam on a little more often….

About the Author

d20domme is unapologetically kinky after over 10 years in the community. She is known as pint-height, poly(androus), plus-size, POC, 24/7 Femdom who knows what she wants and will use her craft in mindfuckery and persuasive viper tongue to get it. Her main kink is normalizing kinky lifestyles across the board and thus she can often be found writing on her blog From Mundane To Mistress, chatting away on podcasts, teaching classes, demos, or presenting locally in the Washington, DC area, New York, and sometimes across the pond in Europe.

Is Anyone Still Having Fun?

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An issue is a growing not only in my own local community but across the whole of BDSM communities alike. It’s an issue that is increasingly giving me pause in attending events and placing myself within reach of certain individuals.

Have a seat and let’s talk about consent.

Yes, we’re having this talk. Yes you need to pay attention. And yes, you might have already violated someone’s consent (I had) without realizing it.

Let’s get the basics out of the way…

What is consent?

It’s the permission or agreement to do something before it happens.

Notice that tricky word ‘before‘ it happens. Imagine you went to the dentist for a routine cleaning and the dentist attempted to begin pulling a tooth of yours. You did not consent to an extraction, he has attempted to violate your consent. Shame on you dentist. Likewise when you play with someone you need to ask them what is and isn’t okay before you do it. Not after. Not during, which isn’t really fair, and definitely not at all. Before. If you didn’t ask before you can’t do it. A recent survey published in The Journal of Sex Research found kinksters are less likely to believe myths about sexual assault, blame sexual assault victims, and exhibit benevolent sexism yet it is still happening in our community.

Consent is mandatory not sexy.

I’ve seen people say the phrase ‘consent is sexy’. It’s not sexy, it’s mandatory. Saying it’s sexy is dressing it up to be fun and palatable but really, it’s just necessary. It doesn’t need to be anything more. Consent is mandatory because everyone has boundaries (yes, even those ever abundant submissives who say they have no limits), and this includes tops and bottoms, subs and dommes, and everyone else who plays together. We all have limits. We all have boundaries. We all have things we don’t want to see, hear, experience, give, or receive and it’s important that the people we play with know what those are. A lot of times when I see people negotiating I see the top leading the charge getting all the info on the bottom but they forget, even they too have limits. I have certain things I won’t try, certain phrases that if uttered will take me out of my topspace, and explicit play that doesn’t appeal to me in any way, not even playfully.

Permission assumption can lead to consent violation

Yes still means yes but ‘Banana’, ‘Red’, ‘Cabbage’, ‘Please Mistress’, ‘I can’t remember’ and ‘Seriously no’ can all mean NO. It all depends on what you’ve agreed upon. During negotiations it’s important to get a safeword. I call this a fail-safeword. It’s there for the moments when things aren’t going the way you expected, you need to slow down, or you’d like to stop because things are going beyond what you agreed to. If you have negotiated a face slapping scene with someone and then begin to choke them while slapping, you’ve violated their consent but assuming it was okay. You have no way of knowing if this person has a medical condition that you may exacerbate that or even worse, trigger them into a headspace they might not want to be in—both in turn ruining what could have been an enjoyable experience.

What about blanket consent?

I aspire to this logic with one of my two kinky partners because I’ve only negotiated this with one of them. This is a mutual agreement that consent will be voluntarily waived. In other words, comprehensive consent is given, ahead of time, for all acts and situations that will arise in the future. These factors mean that this type of consent requires an extremely high level of trust and understanding between everyone involved. This is a controversial and well debated arrangement in our community. Yet,  nonetheless it is still a form of consent. For us participating in our 24/7 D/s relationship we happily operate under an agreement of blanket consent, which some have even argued is inevitable for most long term, TPE, or other D/s BDSM relationships but I disagree, you should still have that conversation before operating under it.

…But they’re submissive…

Yes you may meet the most lowly, wanting, selfless submissive ever to lie at your feet. But you’ll still need consent. I come in contact with quite a few D/s couples who operate under the ‘No safeword’ rule. They are of the mindset that because they are so committed, so psychically in tune with each other that there’s no need for a silly safeword or consent. Read the above section if you want my opinion on the pitfalls of that. No matter if you’ve been together for 1 month or 10 years, I think there’s a need for consent (even if blanketed) and a safeword in all dynamics. When you get too comfortable you make mistakes and that’s how I violated a submissive’s consent.

I violated someone’s consent.

When I first started out on my kink journey I wanted to seem much more dominant and in control than I actually was. That’s one of the downfalls of being the dominant one, a lot of the burden is put on you to just ‘know’ what you’re doing. Despite doing some research and watching (but not really understanding) others play I thought I’d “give it a whirl”. Yes, those are the words I use to use when I played with someone. I was “giving it a whirl” but the only thing I needed to whirl was my own self back to some classes. So here I was, in a crowded club in San Francisco, wet behind the ears and a brand new paddle in hand for my first meeting of a submissive I had met online. This was still the days when I played on first meetings, which is a no-no for me now. I also actively avoid pick-up play when I can for several reasons including my edgey play style.

So there I was and there he was, waiting as promised. We didn’t negotiate much as this was just a spanking scene for us both. He wanted to receive 150 hand spankings over my knee (again, another very intimate form of play I don’t do with just anyone now) and I was happy to give them…despite not ever giving more than 20 spankings to any one person before. We started our scene hastily with him begging to strip. and flopping down in my lap I didn’t know if I was hitting too hard and didn’t want to stop and ask for fear of killing the mood. I wasn’t looking for nonverbal communication clues because I hadn’t been taught what those were yet. Around number 70 of the 150 spankings I realized my hand was getting tired so I decided to use my brand new small wooden paddle instead for the rest. He took it like a champ, there was no aftercare and we didn’t play or speak much after.

It wasn’t until a couple years later I realized…

I had unknowingly violated his consent! I later sought him out, made a clumsy but heartfelt apology and he accepted insisting no harm had been done. We both chalked it up to being newbies and since then went our separate ways. But, to this day it’s something I try to keep in my mind at all times. Even with the best intentions I did something potentially harmful and non-consensual to someone. And that’s why consent isn’t something you can think about once. It’s not something you can gloss over and it’s certainly not something that you can fail to be aware of.  Consent violators are everywhere in the world but they particularly thrive and prey within OUR community. Often times members of the BDSM community only say the right things about consent and negotiations but have a nasty habit of turning a blind eye and ignoring our very own rampant consent violation problems. We are the only ones who can hold each other accountable and enforce the consequences for those who cross (or ignore) the line. I haven’t met a kinkster yet who doesn’t know someone who has their consent violated and that is heartbreaking to me. There’s a vacuum in the community just waiting to be filled with a national consent board/classes/certification or outreach program that I hope gets the thought and attention it so desperately deserves.

When it comes down to it, we need to follow through on all that we preach. It’s our responsibility and until we consistently do so victims of consent violations will continue to come forward. This is our community, and we, are the only ones responsible for the state of it.

I’m willing to put in the work to have fun…are you?

About the Author

d20domme is unapologetically kinky after over 10 years in the community. She is known as pint-height, poly(androus), plus-size, POC, 24/7 Femdom who knows what she wants and will use her craft in mindfuckery and persuasive viper tongue to get it. Her main kink is normalizing kinky lifestyles across the board and thus she can often be found writing on her blog From Mundane To Mistress, chatting away on podcasts, teaching classes, demos, or presenting locally in the Washington, DC area, New York, and sometimes across the pond in Europe.

There Is No Bad Blowjob

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Every person who takes the liberty of going down on a someone thinks that their technique needs no work. That the receiver, should be grateful that someone even went down on them. All of this is true but there’s even more. Let’s review what can be done to enhance your blowjob experience no matter your role.

So let’s dive in:

FACT

Blowjobs are a lot a work but can still be fun.

FACT

Going down on your someone is still illegal in over 10 states, so treasure your secret sexytime.

FACT

Not all blowjobs were created equal, sorry.

Now for the fun stuff. Basically a blowjob consist of two main techniques (both of which can be built upon), the suck-swallow and the deep throat. The suck-swallow is the easier of the two and the standard go-to but just because it’s easier you shouldn’t be giving anyone a yawn fest.

Remember these simple things when going down on someone:

Givers…

Breathe!

Since your mouth will be full during this activity remember to breathe through your nose. It’ll help you from gagging and needing to take frequent stops

Use Your Hands

Don’t just hang your hands at your side during a BJ, use those extra tools to help stimulate naughty bits in all the right places. But remember don’t grab dangling parts too hard (unless their into that). I try to stick to a “rolling” motion as if I were rolling out small balls of dough.

Pay Them Lip Service

It is a blowjob but don’t forget to use those lips of yours for sucking, nibbling, and of course any tongue action you can provide. This will help keep the receiver going while you give your jaw a break. Sometimes I just like looking down at the giver’s open, gap mouth.

Get Comfy

Make sure you’re in a position that gives you complete access to everything you want to touch without losing your balance. Being on your knees can be a drag after a while so perhaps put a pillow under them for comfort.

Be Creative

Blowjobs are wonderful on their own…but if you want to give someone something they’ll be sure to remember you can try different things to enhance the experience. Ice cubes, humming with them in your mouth, an Altoid. Try different things and see what you both like.

For the people that want to attempt deep throating, beware: Not all blowjobs are created equal. Meaning, not all people have the same ability (or desire!) to deep throat. The main technique of taking a cock deep is to suppress your gag reflex. If you’re unable to do this you will suck, but not literally…literally you will gag. So be prepared for this whole you practice. If you really insist on learning you can practice on a banana (don’t be upset if you don’t get it right away nor if you’re just unable to do it) or you can cheat with this trick: while going as deep as you can on phallic objects, use your hand on the shaft to simulate an extended mouth. They probably won’t even notice as pure bliss washes over them.

And receivers, don’t think you got off so easy. If you want a blowjob don’t make it difficult for blowjob givers. Sometimes you are your own demises. Be courteous and follow these tips:

Receivers…

Don’t Hold Anyone’s Head

We are going as deep as we want to. Any head pushing makes you look like an ass, unless of course the giver places your hand on the back of their head, then gently push deeper. If you feel resistance, let up.

Groom, Groom, Groom

Tame the jungle that is your pubic hair. I hate swallowing a “furball” as I’m enjoying giving a good BJ. It can t givers her off or worse cause us to instinctively chew to get it out. Ouch!

Be Squeaky Clean

I shouldn’t need to point this out, but after seeing guy after guy forget this important rule…WASH YOUR COCK! If it smells funny, is sticky, or extra dry looking…I’m probably going to head in the other direction (no pun intended). Oh, and don’t forget under those balls! Not using a bio cock? Still clean it. If I’m feeling nice I put a flavored lube on it.

Announce Your Arrival

Never cum in a anyone’s mouth without asking her. Period. I know you all get caught up in the moment but when you feel yourself getting close just say so. This isn’t a porn. Also, it’ll let the givers have the option of pulling away or taking it. Either act deserves gratitude.

Now everyone, go out and have fun sucking someone off.

And for the ultra considerate ones, here’s a recipe of my own that even you’re sure to love, to give you that extra sweet taste:

d20domme’s Super Spunk Smoothie (Take for at least 5 days straight)

1 cup pineapple, fresh or canned

1 banana, frozen

1 cup apple juice

1/2 tsp ginger

1/2 tsp cinnamon

1/4 tsp nutmeg

1/2 tsp vanilla extract

2 Tbsp honey

Optional ingredients: 1 raw egg white, 2 Tbsp wheat germ, 2 Tbsp flax seed, 1 shot wheatgrass juice

Blend all ingredients in a blender until smooth

Drink immediately.

Repeat daily for best results.

Takes about one week to go into effect.

About the Author

d20domme is unapologetically kinky after over 10 years in the community. She is known as pint-height, poly(androus), plus-size, POC, 24/7 Femdom who knows what she wants and will use her craft in mindfuckery and persuasive viper tongue to get it. Her main kink is normalizing kinky lifestyles across the board and thus she can often be found writing on her blog From Mundane To Mistress, chatting away on podcasts, teaching classes, demos, or presenting locally in the Washington, DC area, New York, and sometimes across the pond in Europe.

The Light Side of Dark Age Play

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Did reading that title send a little shiver down your spine? It use to do the same for me too. When I first entered the scene many years ago (but who’s counting!), Age play wasn’t really ‘in’. It wasn’t a kink people were talking about. There were no spaces for Littles, Bigs, Middles, or those who were happy to interact with them.

In fact, I’d go so far as to say 10 years ago Age play was quite taboo, but perhaps it was just the communities I was circling around. Any time anyone mentioned being a ‘Mommy’ or a ‘baby’ I couldn’t help but feel a little on edge.

What kind of fucked up play is that? I would often think to myself, too fogged by my own judgement to inquire more. Anyone within earshot must have felt the same because an admission of those statements were often left hanging in an awkward air of silence until a quick subject change was bulldozed in. Little spaces at events didn’t exist. Period. It was something a lot of kinksters did in the privacy of their homes, I now think out of fear, embarrassment or worse…shame. This is something I now feel strongly should be faced head on within BDSM on a constant basis. This community is the one place people should feel okay to express themselves without judgement.

So like any oddly curious kinkster with my uncomfortable-ness I started digging into this ‘Age play’ thing. I wanted to understand it. I wanted to view it. I wanted to witness it for myself and most of all I wanted to know if there were a place for me in it…even thought I knew absolutely, there was not. Diapers, pacifiers, bottles, baby talk? Umm no thanks. There just couldn’t be a place for me in that realm. It was “too weird” even for me.

Apparently I am one really weird person…and I love it.

Today I am proudly a loving Mommy and a strict Daddy to certain people in my life and my Age play can involve any (or none) of the things I want, including those above.

Yes I am cruel, sadistic, ruthless at times, demanding, overbearing, controlling, and a lot of other things a ‘Mommy’ or ‘Daddy’ traditionally wouldn’t be, this is my naturally Femdom side. But Age play isn’t about traditional and within kink—I can express myself as any kind of Mommy and/or Daddy; even though in real life I would never want to be in such a role. I’ve also been a bullying older sister, naughty baby sitter, naughty nurse, unsuspecting step sister and a strict teacher when the situation has called for it.

  • You want a grilled cheese with no crust?
  • Back rubs until you fall asleep in my arms?
  • Sport a onesies of favorite your animal for cuddles?
  • Need someone to color or build Legos with?
  • Feeling like nuzzling in a bosom would ease that mind chatter?
  • Will I be sadistic and scribble on your page? Only if you want that.
  • Will I sneak lettuce into your sandwich and make you be a ‘good boy/girl’ for a late snack? Yep I sure will.
  • If you’ve been bad will I enforce corner time? You better believe it.
  • And if you have a favorite stuffie, well, expect me to hide it just for fun but only sometimes, promise.

What I have come to learn about Age play was simple. The more I was exposed to it the more I enjoyed watching others enjoy it. When it was hidden away and shunned, it was unknown and the unknown can be scary. It was shrouded in such secrecy I assumed the community on a whole was equally uneasy about its presence. I am happy to see the kink being embraced in all forms. Age play doesn’t have to mean you’re role playing a younger age, you can age play any age. I’ve seen a range of ages from “adult babies” all the way to bratty “barely legal teens”. I say this time and and time again to the ignorant folks but I’ll say it one more time:

Age play is not pedophilia (an often gross misconception) which is actual sexual feelings directed towards children and is totally illegal and I am in NO way condoning that.

Age play involves only consenting adults, just like all BDSM play and hence the word ‘play’ should be the main focus.

I am not a particularly maternal person but something about watching an adult pleasantly and willingly regress is hot. Like most BDSM activities their responsibilities, worries, stress, and overall negative day-to-day emotions melt away and are replaced by the feelings of being young, naive, playful, and unguarded. All because they feel safe with the person they are deciding to share this with and hand them the baton of responsibility and protection. I’ve found I can go from torturous bitch to Mama Bear in a matter of moments if I feel my boy or girl is in need of protection or comfort from anything or anyone.

The dark part of Age Play has been a natural and gradual move for me and is a space I hold dearly for those I trust. Intertwining submission, domination, bondage and discipline into guilty foreplay, “forced” intercourse, exceptionally vulgar adult language, incest roleplay, explicit sexuality, severe spankings , mind games, power trips, and humiliation settled into all the tiny cracks I had still waiting to be er…filled (hehe)…in my kinky crevices. Pushing people within their “forbidden” fetishes, ravaging their senses, unraveling their defenses and watching them squirm with a mixture of delight and regret for feeling so deliciously dangerous…it excites me on every level of my consciousness. If I am pinning you down internally without lifting a finger and making beg for permission to fantasize about what you’ve always been told you shouldn’t…

Well…then you can understand why this ‘Mommy’ signed up.

About the Author

d20domme is unapologetically kinky after over 10 years in the community. She is known as pint-height, poly(androus), plus-size, POC, 24/7 Femdom who knows what she wants and will use her craft in mindfuckery and persuasive viper tongue to get it. Her main kink is normalizing kinky lifestyles across the board and thus she can often be found writing on her blog From Mundane To Mistress, chatting away on podcasts, teaching classes, demos, or presenting locally in the Washington, DC area, New York, and sometimes across the pond in Europe.

Undermining Others: The Truth About Benevolent Sexism

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You may have heard the phrase “Toxic masculinity” a lot recently and rightfully so. It’s  a reference to culturally-constructed ideals that highlight the violent, emotionally and sexually aggressive behavior perpetrated by male identified people. In my opinion this is a gendered behavior encompassing masculinity on a whole. It’s a cult mentality and it needs to stop.

Breaching into the realm of BDSM I’ve taken note on what I would describe as a mirror to that behavior among female identified kinksters, especially dominants. Patriarchy is also harmful. Just as a pendulum swings from one extreme to other. so can decorum. This is referred to as “Benevolent sexism” and it only hurts other same gendered people when exhibited by their gender peers, in this case, other females. Psychologists have even suggested that benevolent sexism is more harmful than overtly hostile sexism because it is insidious, acting like “a wolf in sheep’s clothing.”

What do I mean?

Let’s take a look at the following…

Have you found as a female submissive, female dominants cannot truly understand you, and vice versa? I have found true friendship is hard to manage between female submissives and female dominants or tops.

Do you believe most women should be passive, submissive or even if they are dominant follow the lead of male dominants in order to learn more? The more wilful, strong attitude and ideas I express, the more I find my fellow female identified kinksters shy away. I’ve even heard someone flat out say, “I don’t trust female dominants because they haven’t been doing this as long.”

When presented with the notion that a female dominant could also be a victim of abuse or having their consent violated do you agree that is not a possibility? It is often assumed as a top or dominant, your consent cannot be violated – ever!

Have you ever felt like other women were in competition versus cooperation with you? I see this often at FemDom themed events.

Do you like gossiping about other females and their choice of dressing, current partner choice, sexual freedoms, or more? I have been slut shamed repeatedly, by females within and outside of the kink community.

Are you someone who has thought at one time, “Well she was asking for it,” when hearing about someone’s negative experience to something?  I am guilty of some of these as well but continually work hard to break out of my gender heavy conditioning because this mindset is problematic .

I can only speak for myself, but as a child, growing up as a female and even now, media, print, society and real life heavy-handedly attempted to show me what the expectation was for me as a woman in the world, BDSM or otherwise. Females were meant to be meek, followers, leaving certain activities to “men”, dress a certain way, be overly emotional, form attachments easily, laser focus on creating a home and picture perfect family, and of course default to subservience when possible. Within the community, this is even more damaging as it’s supposed to be a safe space where everyone can express any part of themselves as they please. This translates into men who wear dresses proudly, women who enjoy displaying their very phallic strap-ons, females who prefer combat boots to heels, or even those who request to be called ‘Master’. In my opinion all of these are well within the scope of how anyone regardless of gender can act.

Personally I revel in straddling the blurry lines of gender expectations/expressions and can be found growling deeply while in play, sporting boots and a skirt, demanding to be called Mistress (or Daddy) as my 10-inch cock is sucked, all the while still being able to host a High Protocol Afternoon tea party. I, like many others, am just me, and don’t enjoy being presumed  to represent myself in any one way. I am comfortable being viewed as a masculine female who loves something from both of those particular personality trait columns.

What is the feminine equivalent of emasculation? De-feminization? Finding a term that explains that has been hard because I honestly believe it’s a conversation that isn’t happening enough. When other females paint their fellow females with a broad brush all you get is a messy picture.

Dominant, submissive, in between, neither? It’s all a part of the lovely complexity that is femininity if a female identified person is doing it and should be honored as such.

About the Author

d20domme is unapologetically kinky after over 10 years in the community. She is known as pint-height, poly(androus), plus-size, POC, 24/7 Femdom who knows what she wants and will use her craft in mindfuckery and persuasive viper tongue to get it. Her main kink is normalizing kinky lifestyles across the board and thus she can often be found writing on her blog From Mundane To Mistress, chatting away on podcasts, teaching classes, demos, or presenting locally in the Washington, DC area, New York, and sometimes across the pond in Europe.