I’ve been wanting to write on a topic that is near and dear to by heart; exhibitionism or rather the act of drawing attention to yourself and/or being naked in public. If you’re purely looking at the textbook definition, it seems quite limited. In my opinion, exhibitionism spans over many parts of BDSM which I will attempt to cover in this article. Personally I very much enjoy it but reader beware, it is not for everyone!
I do not crave to be naked in vanilla public, though there are some who enjoy this particular fetish. I have done some semi-fetish photo shoots (on the tame side) in lingerie in public but that’s as far as I’ll go. I’d urge you to use caution as public nudity is not only illegal in most cases but also forcing your kink onto unsuspecting vanillas, something I’ve written on in past articles and discourage.
There is something to be said about “public play” in dungeons however. There are also limitless ways you can monopolize on this setting for those who are interested in exhibitionism. I find pleasure in exhibitionism as a combination of both humiliation and a desire to be seen. I’m both embarrassed and delighted to be shown off in public. While this may sound like a bit of a contradiction, I’ve spoken to many submissives/bottoms who share a similar sentiment when incorporating exhibitionism. The desire to please your Dominant by following his/her direction in public, taking any pain or punishment they may be giving, dressing up in something scandalous-all of these are factors that contribute to positive feelings within exhibitionism. Some submissives find joy in being dressed up like the dominant’s play thing-to be walked around by a leash or on their arm. The important thing to remember regarding is that it’s playing a large part into the submissive headspace. You can experience subspace from exhibitionism alone which is fascinating, if you think about it. You neither have to deliver any impact, rope, or even use toys for that matter-all you need is your submissive and a public play space with which to parade them around.
I’ve also seen exhibitionism used as punishment. Perhaps your submissive is in need of some “training” or they have become complacent in their role and relationship. What better way to show them a lesson than at the hands of other dominants? I once witnessed a submissive shackled in a spreader bar by the arms. There was a sign dangling around his neck proclaiming him to be a naughty submissive in need of punishment. Several implements were hanging from the spreader bar including a crop, flogger, cane, and a paddle. Anyone was welcome to come up and deliver said punishment to the submissive. As an extra layer to the situation, he was also wearing a ball gag so had no ability to speak. Before any of you cry safety foul, I also observed the sub’s dominant nearby, keeping an eye on the situation should she need to intervene. Obviously the two shared a deep connection and trust for this type of improvised scene to occur. The submissive seemingly was extremely experienced thus could handle any number of impact toys and levels of pain. I found the entire set up extremely titillating and exciting! To be placed on display, called out for disobedience and asking for other people to deliver punishment was just diabolical!
As with any type of new play, it’s best to discuss potential scenarios with your play partner to make sure you’re on the same page. As the top, you can always throw in surprises to keep your sub on their toes! Remember that the largest part of exhibitionism (at least for me) is the mental aspect so it’s best to go slow and work up to more “extreme” public displays. Happy flaunting!
anniebear is a submissive living with her partner Dexx in Los Angeles. She enjoys writing, modeling for friends, animal rescue, and teaching herself how to cook. You can catch her on Fetlife or Facebook.