New to the scene?
Want to begin your kink journey?
Then, look no further!
This week Ms. Elle X shares her favorite kinks for new kinksters!
BDSM articles ideas bondage erotica resource
New to the scene?
Want to begin your kink journey?
Then, look no further!
This week Ms. Elle X shares her favorite kinks for new kinksters!
This article is applicable when you and your new play partner are both knowledgeable and enthusiastic about BDSM, and have decided to arrange BDSM play together for the first time. If either of you is brand new to BDSM, or you are hoping to introduce BDSM to an existing but as-yet vanilla romantic relationship, then this article is likely not appropriate to your situation. It is written from the perspective of a male Dom and female sub, but can of course be applied to any variation of gender dynamic.
The first time playing with a new play partner is special. There is a magical electricity in the newness and uncertainty as you begin to connect with each other through dominance & submission. As you experience each other’s energy, there is a delicious joy in seeing how your new partner responds to your unique style of dominance.
When I’m preparing for a first play session like this, I normally have a few things I’d like to have as an outcome from the scene:
Here’s a simple outline for where to take your scene, which accomplishes all three of these goals and sets you on a good foundation for more fun play in the future.
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Now that you’ve had a great first play experience, you can start to plan some more advanced and intense experiences for future scenes together, built on the foundation of trust created from an amazing first session.
Like my first BDSM scene ideas? Have some tips of your own? Let me know in the comments below.
By Eden 10 Comments
I think at some point in our lives we all find ourselves in a situation where we don’t know what the fuck is going on. For me, this “situation” started when I left my wife and just…kept…going. People say in times of hardship we find out what we’re truly made of, but I don’t think anybody would have guessed that inside of me was a masochistic submissive biding her time until relationship Armageddon. It takes a lot of courage to try new things, but if you’re curious about the kink community and you want to get started, here are a couple of things I learned in my first month that my mother definitely didn’t tell me about bdsm.
Still uneasy after reading these pointers? That’s how it was for me the night I decided to turn my kinky dreams into a reality. Some of the things I thought I’d encounter in a bdsm dungeon the first time I stepped foot in one: a dominatrix woman in leather with a Russian accent. Dimly lit wall sconces that threw more shadows than actual light. Screams of pain. Somebody stumbling out with half their clothes on. Vampires. A shit ton of rope. Medieval torture devices. Dildos.
The receptionist buzzed me in. I sat down on a plushy couch and reflected on the fact that my therapist’s office looked less inviting than this room did. A working submissive emerged politely from a back room to whisper something across the desk, and then the receptionist stood up and encouraged me to walk into the back room where a support group was meeting. Everything looked and smelled clean…almost clinically so. And the collection of people I saw as I took a seat on one of the last empty red poufs looked completely, 100%, no questions asked, normal.
You read that right. Normal. I usually detest the word and everything it stands for, but in this specific case it was a relief to see real people who were smiling, murmuring to each other, and looking around with non-judgmental curiosity. This wasn’t frightening at all. Not one person stood out as threatening, predatory, or even remotely vampiric. It was somewhere around this moment that I got hit with a major reality check: everything I thought I knew about bdsm was a lie. What I’d seen on TV was a lie. What I read in books was a lie. And now as I sat here surrounded by other people who shared this big, scary secret with me, I realized in the best possible way that I was not alone. Things stopped feeling scary. Who I was stopped being secret. And I started living my truth unabashedly.
My advice for newcomers is as follows:
My biggest fear was that somebody might take advantage of me if I wasn’t on the defense. What I found instead was a core group of kinksters who wanted nothing more than to help me grow, but I had to let my own guard down long enough to see the helping hands all around me. Remember this: no matter how insecure you might feel, at the end of the day we are all just people. Awesome people with leather floggers and spanking benches, but people nonetheless.
There are a million and one ways to explore the scene, but hopefully these pointers help you navigate the space as you start your kinky journey into the unknown. If you have any questions or you’d like to reach out, feel free to contact me on my fetlife account at little_miss_eden. Thanks for reading!
By: Eden
If you look up the definition of “green,” you will find the name Eden alongside a picture of a girl tripping over her own feet. Eden has been writing for years and is also an actor and a karaoke enthusiast. She has been active in the bdsm community for nearly three months and can often be found assisting at kink events in the LA area. She is hoping that her writings will reach other new people in the scene to let them know they are not alone.