Want to know more about impact play and impact toys?
Then, check out this awesome video from Kinky Assignments!
BDSM articles ideas bondage erotica resource
Want to know more about impact play and impact toys?
Then, check out this awesome video from Kinky Assignments!
When I began building floggers, I didn’t have the benefit of learning from anyone how to do it. I spent time searching out various tutorials, print and video, and got frustrated. What I had in my head wasn’t what I was seeing anywhere. Much like when I cook, I had to take what I saw as the best parts of lots of different recipes, keeping the necessary ingredients while making the taste my own.
Locals in our community have opportunities to craft implements with me on occasion, when I’ve offered a course, complete with leather, tools and guidance. I always promise them their first will turn out light years better than mine did – some goodwill sweatpants cut into strips and glued on a piece of dowel.
How I build
I start by deciding what I want my flogger to feel like (see my prior articles for more information about that). Suffice to say, the amount and texture of the leather I use will depend greatly on what I’ve decided.
Once I’ve decided what the feel should be, I examine my larger piece of leather to determine where the size piece I have chosen will best fit. Sometimes the size of the larger piece will force my hand, if it has limitations.
Once I have cut my piece or pieces away from the larger hide, I often switch my focus to the handle. Braiding works best in multiples of four, so if I’m going to braid the handle I need to find leather scrap long enough to cut into strips that will braid well. If I’m stitching, I measure with a great deal more exactness, cutting a rectangle the precise size I will need to fully cover my handle. Waxed thread works best with leather, though I will occasionally wax my own so I can customize my options a little better.
Handle complete, I create the section of falls. I know some people will use a piece of leather the length of their handle, then split falls off, but I prefer about an inch of overlap from the base of the handle rather than wrapping the full length. I measure twice down the row, marking my future cuts with tailor’s chalk. It turns out chalk works well on most leathers, since it just rubs off easily. I advise students to measure from the same side when they mark, to avoid slanted cuts if the body of their piece is uneven.
Once falls are marked and cut, I use glue on the band of the fall section and wrap it around the base of the handle. For most, upholstery tacks finish that portion. Some may want to upgrade to knotwork over their fall section, but that’s done more easily with a video tutorial. There are some excellent ones on YouTube, though I personally find Viper’s video tutorial to be the best out there. I believe he has them for sale in his etsy shop.
The handle strap is next, and I often cut the strap, end cap circle and covering wrap all at once. Some people think the end strap is for your wrist. I’ll agree to disagree with those folks. I build mine shorter, clearly hanging straps, though I can make them longer for those who request that. This top section can also be covered with knotwork for those who prefer, or finished with tacks as well.
The one thing I emphasize is that the devil is in the details. My wraps start from the same side of the handle. I position hanging loop straps equidistant from what I determine is a centerline on the handle. I make sure diamonds in braided handles line up, and stitching is in a straight line rather than wandering.
When my students finish, I warn them about set times for their glue. Test swings are one thing, but attempting a full scene with an implement whose glue hasn’t finished curing can lead to things shifting or even coming apart. They don’t always listen, but at least I gave them the information.
I believe building implements for one’s own bag is a skill everyone can learn. What I have noticed, however, is that those who spend the time to try it once begin to appreciate the pricing of handcrafted implements a little more. They come to understand the time and effort which goes into the creation of each piece.
Christmas bunny has been exploring kink since she was legal to do so. Her serious writing started in college, where she accidently got some of her papers published in educational journals. She has recently expanded her writing to include her kink journey. She began writing in the physical realm, but shed some of her inhibitions and began sharing those entries with others. She now keeps an active blog of her personal growth and her relationship with her Master / Daddy Dominant and writes helpful educational posts on a variety of subjects.
I frequently see questions about how to play by one’s self. In this day and age of plague, it’s particularly important to take care of our own needs. I have always been able to do so, not relying on a partner to give me the pleasures I like most.
This third self-play article will cover an easy impact technique anyone can use with a belt, flogger, and even a short single tail.
First, get a leather belt. If you don’t already have one in your play kit, you can get an inexpensive one from any decent clothing store. Target regularly has them for under twenty dollars. I have found beautifully broken in belts at thrift stores also. They clean up easily enough with soap and water and some shea butter or coconut oil for conditioner.
The length of the belt doesn’t really matter so long as it’s not too long. Something in the 30 to 36 inch range is fine. When folded over, it will be the perfect length.
Standing is a better position so you can swing freely and not smack the bed, chair or sofa. But on your knees on a bed works too.
Start off swinging around your ribs to your back. You may be surprised how much effort is needed to give yourself a good smack. It can be a pretty decent arm workout.
Then over your shoulders. The movies make it look so easy, don’t they?
Inner thighs are right there. Buttocks, back of thighs. Varying the speed changes up the force of impact.
A broken-in belt is easier than a new one, but a new one will be broken in after a few sessions. A studded belt adds another degree of intensity. Some people I know have liked to use the buckle end rather than the leather in the middle. Give it a try; see if you agree.
A game I have played:
Sit down to watch a show on regular television. Commercial comes on, pick up the belt and beat yourself with it until the show comes back. Sit back, watch the show. Commercial comes on, pick up the belt and beat yourself with it. The resting between lets the endorphins come forward into a delicious high – for me, at least. The high is my goal in the first place.
By the 45 minute mark, commercials created an almost Pavlovian response in me.
You can create your own games, such as “1 strike every time someone on a show says the word “the” or “and”, or says a particular character’s name. Then give yourself that many strikes at the next commercial break, or wait and add them all up when the show is over.
All of these things can be done with a short flogger also. Something fifteen to eighteen inches overall length will do. It needs to be hefty enough that the falls have impact. Too long and too thin is difficult to throw over one’s own shoulder and get the impact desired. Shorter is easier to control and strike where you want.
Guess what? You can use a short whip too! I bought a pair of mini snake whips from Highland Whip Design (Instagram – HighlandWhipDesign; Fetlife — https://fetlife.com/users/7280606) and they can absolutely be used to whip one’s self using the same around the ribs and over the shoulder techniques. In fact, while he was finishing them, I asked him if it would reach well for that and he did it on himself to confirm that, yes, absolutely, these will whip one’s own back.
Between these two how-to articles, you have four different implements you can use almost all over on your body. Start with the flogger for warming up. Move on to the belt and then the wooden spoon. Conclude with the whip for that final sharp sting. Hours of self-play are at your fingertips.
If you aren’t too hard on yourself, you can do this every day if you want.
TylerRose. is known as Dame Tyler in the NYC public SM/Fetish scene. She is an award-winning author who has written two “lifestyle”, four cartoon, and over 25 fiction books.
Read her books on her Amazon page — https://www.amazon.com/TylerRose./e/B00HCPLSP2
You can also find more of her OP/ED work in Fetlife: https://fetlife.com/users/305828
FB Fan Page — https://www.facebook.com/TylerRoseGethis/
Twitter — https://twitter.com/DameTyler or @DameTyler
She enjoys crocheting and baking, and will no doubt die with a thesaurus open on her thigh.
Want to know more about Impact Play?
Interested in honing your domination skills?
Curious about Topping?
Then, check out this informative video by Depraved Eros!
This week he gives a practical step by step guide on impact and the art of Domination!
Click below to learn more!
There are many wonderful activities associated with BDSM. If you have a kink you can probably find a thriving community online to discuss it, learn more about it and be introduced to nuances of play that may never have occurred to you in isolation. It can also be reassuring to know that you aren’t alone in your kink. However strange you might think you are, there are going to be people out there who will accept you.
In this article I want to discuss a type of play which is for many people their first “toe dip” into the wider world of BDSM; spanking. For many of us it is our first experience of doing something that we are told is supposed to cause pain, which we are taught is a bad thing, but actually we find our partner enjoys, which we know is a good thing.
Spanking falls under a wider catagory of corporal punishment, otherwise known as CP play. While spanking almost exclusively refers to the use of an open hand to strike the bottom it can also involve the use of implements; paddles, floggers, canes, etc…
Spanking does not require a huge amount of equipment, in fact it can all be done with just a hand, a partner’s bottom, and a knee for them to lay over. It is a cheap, fun activity that we can enjoy for years to come.
The first thing we want to consider when planning a spanking are the same things we should plan before any scene (so it is good to get into the habit now). We want to know our partners limits, their safeword, and any issues we should be aware of.
We are going to break down a spanking into distinct sections so we can understand what is happening, and explore each part that makes up the whole. We shall look at: where is it going to happen, how are they going to be positioned, what is going to be used, what is the objective, and how will aftercare be managed?
We start by planning where it will happen because an oft overlooked side effect of a spanking is the noise produced. Not only the potential sounds of our partner, but also the constant noise of the spanking itself. The sound of a bare hand on a naked arse should not be underestimated.
Imagine how annoyed you would be if your neighbor started clapping rhythmically for 40 minutes while occasionally screaming unexpectedly!
While it is not always possible to rent a dungeon or attend a play event we can try to be considerate and think about the noise we will be making and if it could become an issue for others.
Once we have decided where we are playing our next consideration should be how our partner will position themselves. We should be aware of their comfort, and how their position will change the play area, in this case the surface of their butt and back of the thighs.
Hopefully your partner will have a position they find most comfortable, some like to lie flat on a bed, others prefer to be kneeling, or held over a knee. Overall our goal is to find a position which is comfortable and can be held for a prolonged time. Our objective is to spank our partner, not to have them develop cramp in their calf, or a sore back.
Depending on how our partner is positioned we may find that the surface tension of the bottom may change. Laying flat allows for muscles to relax and as a result you might find that they ripple more on impact, while bent over a bench you might find their muscles are more contracted, giving a firmer surface. For some this will translate into a stingier or thudier type of sensation, something we shall cover in more details shortly.
Get them comfortable and then you can think about how you are going to spank them. Most types of impact fall into one of two categories, thudy or stingy. Most people have a distinct preference for the type of sensation so it is important that we understand the type of sensation our toys inflict.
There are lots of things we can use before we have to go shopping for kink specific toys. A wooden spoon from the kitchen, a slipper from the shoe rack, a belt from the wardrobe. It is important that we know what we are working with before we start flailing around at someone’s bottom. Using your forearm you can usually practice a few strikes to get the feel of the implement and the type of sensation it elicits.
As a rule of thumb you will find that the further the point of impact is from the handle the more difficult the implement is to use reliably. So hitting the same place repeatedly with your hand is reasonably guaranteed, while hitting the same place repeatedly with a 6 foot single tail is much harder. We definitely want to start easy and make sure to spend plenty of time learning before using more difficult implements.
Most implements fall into the two sensation categories below.
Stingy: Thin canes, light floggers, quick hand slaps, light paddles, single tails…
Thudy: Thick canes, heavy floggers, heavy hand slaps, thick paddles, leather belts…
For a more stingy sensation you want to strike quickly with almost a flicking motion. This can serve to intensify the inherently stingy nature of the implement, or even add a stingy sensation to a thudy implement.
For a more thudy sensation you want to land the blow with a solid impact and press. Almost as if you are striking through the surface and holding it in place. This can help deepen the pressure of a thudy tool, or even to lessen the stingy sensation of a lighter toy.
We want to understand the types of sensation our partner enjoys. This serves us well if we want to let them enjoy a scene based around sensations, and is just as important if we want to be sadistic. The better we understand our partners ability to process different sensations the better we are able to take them on an experiential journey.
A spanking scene can be a transcendental experience, the constant, steady impacts become a drum beat by which the bottom can drift off into something often referred to as “sub space”. Or it can be a brutal punishment the bottom cannot escape from and eventually can only surrender to. These are just two possible goals, but are almost diametrically opposed, so we should be sure that both of us know what type of scene we want to have.
It is extremely important that we consider what we shall do for the bottom after the scene. Physically and mentally we need to help them settle again.
You will often find that your partner is not in state to coherently explain their needs after a spanking scene, so it is our responsibility to have had this conversation in advance. Before we begin we should discuss the type of aftercare they commonly need, and have it prepared for them.
This can be physical; blankets, drinks, sweets, and it can also be more mental; verbal reassurance, physical closeness. Have whatever you need close at hand and be prepared to spend as long as is needed helping your partner to recover.
We have explored a little of what is involved in a spanking, but there is so so much more. For many of us this might be our first experience of physical BDSM, but that doesn’t mean it is something we grow out of, or lacks nuance. There are lots of ways of playing with spanking, and lots of ways to engage in it.
Spanking, and the wider category of CP, fits quite easily into many types of play. Spending time learning how to spank, paddle, cane, flog and whip is well worth the investment. With practice you can learn to make a cane deliver a range of sensations and drive your partner into states of agony or ecstasy.
If you get to know your local community you will hopefully be able to find skilled kink educators who will be able to give you some hands-on experience. Different techniques and different tools are best tried with someone experienced in their use. I encourage you to get hands on experience and teaching wherever you can. Never be afraid to learn, we should all actively seek out those more experienced to learn from and improve our abilities.
We are building up our skills so we can explore with partners. While we can learn lots for them, we will also learn the most from them. Everything we learn is so that we can better take a journey together.
Will Hunt has been involved in the UK kink scene for the last 10 years; running clubs, teaching workshops, performing and generally encouraging naughty behavior wherever possible.
Interested in flogging? Like impact? New to the Scene and want to experiment?
Then this video is perfect for you!
This week Depraved Eros gives the ins and out of flogging including best types of floggers and safety tips!
Check it out now!
My fascination with flogging happened when I attended my first play party. I met a couple at a munch and connected with them again the night of the play party. Early in the evening the Dom positioned his wife/slave over a divan in the middle of a large living room and went to work on her for well over thirty minutes.
What happened that night was quite different from what I imagined or what I had seen in erotic movies. This was real, and visceral, and hot! I saw how he used several whips on her. He varied his pace. He mixed-up how strong he threw those tails. The reaction of his wife was amazing!
I talked to them both when they were done with aftercare. She told me how wonderful it was. It shattered my expectations and thrilled me to watch.
Needless to say, I was hooked. I threw my first flogger that evening and the rest is history.
I’ve had multiple submissives tell me that they enjoyed my flogging so much that they asked for it as a reward, instead of a punishment. That’s fine with me! I love it too.
Nothing that I say in this article is going to replace the hands-on experience that you’re going to get with a flogger, or the advice that you’ll get from someone who can show you what to do in real time. Please, before you try this with a real person make sure you do your homework, and even better, get some help from someone that has experience with flogging.
I’m going to tell you the same thing that Dom told me on that first night. Looking at your intended target from behind, draw an imaginary line down the spine and make a cross at the kidneys. Those areas are off limits. Even a light flogger can do damage if you hit the wrong place.
Focus on the meaty areas, like the ass, the shoulders, the thighs, hamstrings, and calves. Stay away from the head, and joints, and anywhere that’s bony. In short, use your common sense.
Flogging is typically a marathon, not a sprint. It’s so much more effective (and safe) to build up pain and heat slowly and softly, than to wail with your whole strength.
Also, please forget everything you’ve seen in movies or in video clips. Reality is a lot better, and it’s a lot safer.
It’s also essential to take your time.
Hopefully, you get a chance to throw some floggers before you buy your own. When I bought my first flogger, I had a pretty good idea what I wanted and took a chance on a custom piece that I purchased on the web. What I got was an excellent flogger that I still use today.
Floggers have many different elements to consider.
For your first flogger, my advice is to do the same thing I did and get a medium-sized suede flogger that’s custom made. What’s great about suede floggers is that they are not too heavy, so you can learn to aim, and it will help to build the flogging session for the bottom/submissive slowly.
Before you ever throw a flogger toward another person you need to get your range and touch down. Ideally, you want those falls to all come together in one spot. You also need to be able to vary your strikes between the lightest possible touch to something that’s nearly full strength while maintaining accuracy.
How do you do that without striking a person? Try with a pillow first. Just set it on your couch and hit that pillow over and over again until you feel like you’ve got real control over that flogger. Then do it some more.
You’re going to find your own style when you get some experience under your belt, but what follows is how I approach flogging.
I usually start by running the tails over the submissive’s body. If it’s a suede flogger it can be a very stimulating, and it sets up what is to come.
I step back and slowly, lightly, find the range between me and my target. Once you get your range down it’s time to go to work.
The back is a good place to begin. However, don’t just strike in one place. Focus on the ass, but move to the shoulders too, and occasionally try the back of the legs. Keep moving and keep it unpredictable.
What I’ll do is think about pressure in levels. Like, I’ll start at level one, then go to level two, then throw one blow at a three, and start over again. I like to pop a sharp blow every so often to get a reaction and see where my partner is. If you’re doing the same thing all the time it’s going to get boring for both of you.
Build up over time, and check in with your partner constantly. Some people just like to be flogged like an intense massage. Others like to be broken down or challenged.
Furthermore, even if you think you know what your partner wants, some days they will want more or less. Stay in communication with your partner throughout the flogging, every time.
Also, keep in mind that being flogged can be hard on the body. Leaning your partner against a wall will help with stability. Some people use restraints or bondage furniture to help. You can also simply place them on a couch or a bed, so they don’t have to worry about standing at all.
If your partner has become unresponsive or has developed the balance of Jell-O, then you’re done. Wrap up the session and engage in whatever aftercare that you usually do. If you’ve had a lengthy or challenging flogging session then it’s likely that your partner is experiencing subspace. Flogging has always been the easiest method for me to introduce subspace to a partner. It’s that rhythmic building of pain that is so effective in initiating subspace.
Some Additional Thoughts
There are some very fancy ways of doing flogging, like Florentine flogging, or other methods, and those are great. But unless you’re doing a stage show or trying to demonstrate a skill, the only thing that matters is creating an experience for your partner. If what you’re doing is not pretty it doesn’t matter at all. Find your own style and get comfortable with it.
With that said, you can learn fancy flogging techniques and get the chance to play with new floggers at your local BDSM group. You can ask questions to experts and have someone watch what you’re doing and give you advice. Watch other people throw a flogger and learn from them. Joining a local group is always a great idea to be better at what you do and to be safer.
There are a lot of flogging demonstrations on YouTube and elsewhere. While it’s not as good as a live demonstration, it can give you a good idea of different styles and suggest some good tips to follow.
The next thing I’m going to say is going to upset some people… mostly people who haven’t done this. It is extremely informative to let someone else flog you so that you know what it feels like. Have I been flogged? Yes, many times, and it’s unequivocally made me better when I’m throwing the whip.
Finally, let me stress that flogging is a lot of fun and can be exceptionally rewarding for everyone involved. Don’t ever forget to have fun while you’re doing this; it will make you much better. And just like every other skill, try new things and seek out other ways to do flogging.
Knowledge is power.
About the Author
Dirk Hooper is an award-winning fetish photographer, professional writer, audiobook narrator, podcasting producer and host, journalist for the fetish community, BDSM mentor, and adult personal branding and marketing consultant for Sexy Networking.
Dirk Hooper won Best Fetish Photographer at the 2017 Fetish Awards in St. Petersburg Florida. As a fine-art fetish photographer, Hooper’s work has been exhibited in England, the Netherlands, Belgium, China and all over the United States. His work is part of the permanent collections of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University and the Leather Archives and Museum in Chicago, Illinois. Dirk Hooper’s work has been published in magazines like Skin Two, Von Gutenberg, Fet Erotica and Sinical Magazine. His work was published in the German hardcover art book “Fetish Fantasies: The Best of International Fetish Photography.” He has done professional photography for bands, books, posters and the adult film industry. Hooper co-founded the alternative modeling site Toxic Goddess. He offers his photography services for portraits and commercial projects.
Hooper’s articles have recently been published at Business Insider, Inc. Magazine, HuffPost, Slate Magazine, The Sporting News, MSN Sport, and Quartz. He has won the Quora Top Writer award for the past two years. He has also been published as a comic writer, a poet, and performed numerous copywriting assignments for professional and private clients. He is currently working on an erotic novel and a non-fiction book about social networking.
Dirk Hooper is the Host and Executive Producer of “The Fetish Show.” He has also recently launched a new podcast about success and inspiration titled, “The Dirk Side.” Hooper has been podcasting since 2005 and has produced hundreds of hours of shows over several networks. His first audiobook narration was for the Suzanne Steele novel “Glazov.”
Dirk Hooper does journalism for the BDSM and fetish community through The Fetish Show News, FETISHWEEK articles, the Daily Fetish Chronicle and freelance writing. Hooper’s award-winning website, http://www.DirkHooper.com features a gallery of his work, informational articles and is the home of “FETISHWEEK.”
Hooper’s inspiration for his work is an extension of his interests and experience in the BDSM and fetish community. He is a BDSM mentor and has helped guide or train both dominants and submissives.
Hooper works as a consultant on personal branding, social networking, SEO, copywriting, design and marketing through his Sexy Networking business at http://SexyNetworking.com
No, the title of this article is not a typo. I do not mean “Baad scene blues!” Instead, I am
addressing a problem described in a question that was sent to me:
“My long-time Dom and I had an intense play session recently… sensory
deprivation followed by some serious flogging and stuff. Though no single thing we
did crossed my hard limits, I was left feeling drained and kind of scared by the end.
He did his best to comfort me, but the dynamic between us was just bad. Now I
think we’re both kind of afraid to get back on the horse. What should we do?”
Although my answer is to this specific question, I think discussing the effects of a bad
scene is a problem many have encountered. And though the submissive who emailed me
this inquiry has a male Dom, my answer can just as easily be translated to a Domme
problem – bad scenes have no gender.
There are many key phrases in your question that give clues to the resolution of your
dilemma. The first is “long-time Dom.” Once you are with a partner for a while, it is
obvious that communication must be strong enough to maintain that relationship. So, any
threat to the basic foundation of your union, by virtue of one bad scene, should be minor
at best. There is little chance that your play problem will have catastrophic effects on
your D/s partnership. Take a load off your mind; your relationship is safe – at least from
the negative effects of this bad scene.
With this major concern out of the way, we can now tackle some technical issues that
your “bad scene” might have brought up. Hard limits. Crossing hard limits would be a
major issue in any Dom/sub play session. You have no problems here because none were
breached. By not crossing this boundary, your Dom avoided any major trust issues that
ignoring hard limits invariably bring up. Thus, this worry is also a non-issue. In fact, you
should give your Dom props for not even touching this area. He clearly is a safe and
considerate player and you should find this a source of great comfort. Up to this point,
taking your question in the order of your fears, the score is: your Dom two, your worries
Next, you state your scene was “sensory deprivation followed by some serious flogging
and stuff” and you felt “drained and kind of scared” by the end. Who wouldn’t? This is to
be expected in such a scene. It is obvious you were taken to places you were unfamiliar
with. By definition, going to new areas always comes with some risk. That is price of
admission when you explore the unexplored. Again, hats off to your Dom – a Dom who
clearly is willing to push soft limits and tries to make your play life “un-boring.” To this
point, his only mistake was not warning you that he was going past what you had been
accustomed to. But, that is a minor point.
Even post-scene, he provided aftercare – “he did his best to comfort me.” What he has
done, to this point, is well within any “how-to” BDSM guidelines. You might even say,
he has been going “by the book.” But just because one does BDSM perfectly does not
mean one can expect perfect results. We are dealing with human beings here.
Your Dom did everything correctly, yet “the dynamic between you was just bad.”
Situations like this happen all the time – and not just in BDSM. A pro basketball team
can execute their coach’s game plan perfectly yet lose. A political candidate can out-
debate his opponent and still not win. (I can think of one!) A skilled Dominant can cane
his submissive with precision and still not put him/her into subspace. Human activity is
If you understand that perfect actions do not always lead to perfect results, you can “get
back” on the horse again with little fear. Your Dom did everything correctly; he is a safe
player. Yet, for whatever reason, your scene didn’t work. Welcome to the real world. If I
had a dollar for every scene I have done that didn’t work out as planned, I would have a
fat wallet. But, for every scene that didn’t work out as designed, I usually attempted it
again and got it right.
There is a saying that is it not how many times you get knocked down that is the measure
of the person, but how many times you get up. You got knocked down. It is time to get
After a ten year run as head writer for the legendary bondage.com, and an equally long run as the host of the hit internet show “Baadmaster’s Dungeon,” we are pleased to welcome the one and only Baadmaster to KinkWeekly. His thoughts about all things BDSM will now appear regularly on these pages. From the mental aspects of D/s to the nuts and bolts of S&M play, Baadmaster will cover every facet of this ever expanding lifestyle.
Kinky Ballet from The Punany Poets
“There” A Poetic BDSM Sketch by The Punany Poets, poem by Jessica Holter. This judgment clouding scene sensually demonstrates flogging while the poem, ‘There”, from Jessica Holter’s Verbal Penetration book, is a cautionary tale about lesbian lovers walking the thin line between domestic violence and healthy sex play.
Featured in this video, Lifestyle Dom Daddy Cole demonstrated flogging technique on actress/poet Rewop in Atlanta, GA for an intimate audience of lovers and friends for Valentine’s Day in Atlanta, GA at Synchronicity Theater.