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What’s Your Kink?

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Obviously, kinks are important; after all we are titled KINK Weekly! So, let’s look at the world of kink!

“Kink” (dictionary.com): bizarre or unconventional sexual preferences or behavior

I do not work for the NBC Poll. But, I would bet that most people have sexual and/or play kinks. In the so-called vanilla world, they are usually viewed in a negative way. As a result, most mainstream commentators think that kinkiness is not the norm. But is anyone truly normal? Besides, normal or not, being kinky can be a lot of fun.

Post “Fifty Shades of Gray,” those even slightly into this lifestyle have a fresher way of looking at kinks and fetishes. Many are accepting that the danger of kinks lies not in having them, but in not acting on them. (We are of course, talking about consensual, legal adult kinks.)

The list of kinks is almost endless. In our handy-dandy Kink Weekly Checklist (below), there are more than two pages. And this is far from complete. Here is the checklist:

Abandonment
Acrophobia – being aroused from heights.
Acrotomophilia – being aroused by amputees.
Agalmatophilia – being aroused by statues.
Ass worship
Barosmia – being aroused by smells.
Being recorded
Body parts (including surgically enhanced)
Bondage
Boot worship
Branding
Brown showers
Catheterization
Chains
Chamber pots
Choking
Clamps
Cock cages
Cock rings
Corsets
Cross-dressing
Dirty sex (literal) – sexual activity in and around dirt, mud, or oil.
Douching
Electricity
Enemas
Erotic dancing
Exhibitionism
Fear play
Feathers/fur
Fire play
Foot worship
Caging
Confinement
Getting pain
Golden showers
Group sex
Cuckolding
Giving pain
Gun play
High heel worship
High Protocol
Humiliation
Immobilization
Infantilism
Knife play
Lactation
Latex
Leather
Lingerie
Medical instruments
Needles
Nuru massage
Obedience
Oral sex
Piercing (temporary and permanent)
Pet play
Piss play
Posing
Prostitution (role play)
Prostitution (real)
Public exposure
PVC
Recording scenes
Rituals
Saline infusion
Saran wrap
Sensory deprivation
Shaving
Skinny-dipping
Sex Slavery
Slut play
Spandex
Spanking
Speculums (anal)
Speculums (vaginal)
Spitting
Swallowing semen
Taking erotic photos
Tasting yourself
Tattoos
Tickling
Training
Uniforms
Voyeurism
Wax play
Wearing fluids
Whips
Wrestling
Writing on submissive

Quite a list. Hard to get bored around here!

We all have at least some of these kinks. “Rituals,” “Slut play” and “Sex Slavery” are just three of my many kinks. And, if you add to the list some of the more common “vanilla” fetishes such as the ever-popular “big breast” fetish, you can see that the only people without kinks and fetishes are those that don’t admit to having them. Think of our list as a “Kink Buffet”: pick out those that turn you on, skip the ones that don’t!

So, how do you find a partner to indulge your kinky needs? The best way is this super-effective technique, exclusive to Kink Weekly that I will share with you. Just ask (even at the risk of getting slapped) every prospective partner, “What’s your kink?” (Thus, the title of the article. It took awhile, but we got there!) This line works – even in vanilla settings. It has an edginess and gets to the point rather quickly.

Since everyone has a kink, why not find out if someone’s perversions dovetail into yours? “What’s your kink,” or the alternate “What’s your fetish?” asked even at a vanilla bar, might just be the ticket!

And in future issues, we will spotlight many of these kinks both in word and image. Here at Kink Weekly, we want our members to be able to “scratch that kinky itch.” Because if you don’t, you might have a permanent frown on your face!

By Baadmaster
After a ten year run as head writer for the legendary bondage.com, and an equally long run as the host of the hit internet show “Baadmaster’s Dungeon,” we are pleased to welcome the one and only Baadmaster to KinkWeekly. His thoughts about all things BDSM will now appear regularly on these pages. From the mental aspects of D/s to the nuts and bolts of S&M play, Baadmaster will cover every facet of this ever expanding lifestyle.

A Third Leg

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leg

No, this article is not about giant members. lol

So I was watching talk shows the other day. Well, I use the term “watching” loosely. More like glancing up at the TV occasionally while they were running in the background as I helped my kids with homework. Anyway, on one of the talk shows a co-host was mentioning something about how people have been saying that couples last longer if they have a “third leg”. She went on to describe what this meant. Basically she was referring to things like having kids, shared TV shows (and being able to watch them together thanks to streaming networks), a common hobby, etc. Something they can focus their attention on as a couple that is outside of themselves.

The reason for the “third leg” being helpful in keeping couples together and interested in one another is that it gives them something to talk about and connect over. It’s amazing how much people will thank streaming networks for saving their marriage! Especially since it used to be that if a couple only had kids to connect over they were at a loss once the kids moved out. Now with external entertainment at our fingertips we have much more to interact about for an infinite amount of time.

This got me thinking however, about those of us into kink and/or polyamory.

We have those same things to connect over, TV shows, maybe kids for those in the scene that share children, perhaps common vanilla hobbies as well. However, in addition we share kink. For some it is like another hobby we enjoy together, for others it’s our lifestyle. Either way it’s something else we share with our partner(s) and look forward to. If we play then we look forward to that – maybe planning scenes or deciding which parties to attend. If we are involved in a power exchange relationship then we may spend time together communicating about rules, protocol, etc.

When it comes to poly it’s an entirely new level. If there are other partners then (similar to kids) you have another (or other) actual people to connect over, communicate about, plan things with, and talk to. With or without other partners you may still be communicating about how poly will work for you. Discussing finding a new partner or partners. Perhaps you go out together to meet potential play partners, lovers, and/or life mates. There are those that have other partners and are also looking for additional partners. I don’t know where they find the time, but that’s just me! Also unlike kids, additional partners don’t necessarily fall under the same developmental timeline of growing up and moving out or away from you. This doesn’t mean that poly relationships don’t end, however, you are then able to continue opening up to others in the attempt to find and unite with new people. You can’t just go out and try to find new kids to replace the ones that left for college!

The point of all this is that if you’re involved in kink, poly relationships, or both – you have opened up a whole new world of “third leg” possibilities to connect over. This not only keeps life interesting, but our relationships as well.

Jennifer Masri is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, specializing in Alternative Lifestyles for individual and relationship issues. She also teaches the BDSM 101 class series at Sanctuary LAX in Los Angeles every Monday evening. Read more about Jennifer on her blog, A Kink Shrink.