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This week in kink: July 23, 2018

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submissive-camp

It’s that time of year! Sharpen your pencils, prep your binders, and join us for a day of fun as we go BACK TO SCHOOL!

We’re excited to offer an educational event geared towards anyone in the community who identifies with submissive/s-type roles or is curious to learn more about what that side of the power exchange slash experiences.

We’ll be offering 6 classes, 2 crafts, 3 custom baskets, munchies to keep you going, and more!

Join us for the FIRST of a recurring series of education events organized and offered by the dynamic trio: Jenn, Slave Bunny, and Birdy. Our Back to School camp encourages attendees to explore submission and s-type roles through gratitude, service, and self-care.

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Ever wonder what it means to be a bottom or submissive when it comes to lesbian sex?

Click here to find out

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Kasandra Brabaw shares 9 bondage tips for beginners

Click here to check them out

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More and more people are becoming advocates of schools teaching consent to students. There is a popular debate going on right now about this

Click here to read more
Have some kinky news to share? Tell us about any upcoming BDSM events, new products, dungeon openings / closings, collarings, kink in mainstream media, and anything else you think kinky folks might be interested to hear about. Send your tips through to kinkweekly@gmail.com, and it might just end up on next week’s “This Week in Kink.”

The Kink Ratings List

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Since this site is “Kink Weekly,” kink is rather important to us. Often, I am asked how do you find a partner who has similar perversions to yourself? Although it is easier said than done, I think the most important thing is to “know thyself.” Understanding what you love, like or dislike is a big first step in finding out what you are looking for.

In this article, I will not only present a list, but also a ratings system that will enable you to see – in black and white – exactly what gets you excited and what does not. I have listed these with 1-11 ratings that will quickly enable you to see which kinks are most — and least — important to you. At worst, it’s fun to read this list to remind us of all the perversions out there still to do!

So, here is the list. Rate your kinks using a scale from 1 – 11. (11 being the ultimate, the “bestest”.) You might be surprised at the result!

1. Leash and collar play
2. Latex/rubber
3. Rough sex
4. Enema play
5. Public sex
6. Made to cry public/private
7. Sensory deprivation
8. Scarification
9. Labia piercing
10. Abduction scene
11. Rape scene
12. Being marked
13. Blood play
14. Electrical play
15. “Slut writing”, public/private
16. Caging
17. Drinking Master/Mistress’s pee
18. Learning slave positions
19. Signing a slave contract
20. Switching
21. Anal sex
22. Double penetration
23. Golden showers
24. Forced lactation
25. Fucking with a strap-on
26. Being fucked with a strap-on
27. Cuckolding
28. Obedience trainer/training
29. Flogging/caning/spanking
30. Wearing fluids
31. Master/Mistress’s initial’s carved in ass
32. Slave/slut tattoo
33. Learning slave protocols and rituals.
34. Dominance and/or submission
35. Sexually servicing Master or Mistress
36. Writing slave diaries for Master/Mistress
37. Kneeling next to your Master/Mistress
38. Nipple torture
39. Being chained to bed
40. Serving a Master or Mistress
41. Rope bondage
42. Wearing a welded slave collar.
43. Swing parties
44. FMF threesome
45. MFM threesome
46. Being whored out (or whoring out)
47. Being branded by owner
48. Ownership tattoo
49. Wearing insertables
50. Dilations, speculums
51. Getting fisted
52. Fisting
53. Worshipping Master/Mistress
54. Labia play piercing.
55. Nipple play piecing
56. Nipple permanent piercing
57. Nipple torture
58. Labia stretching, weights
59. Saline engorgement of labia.
60. Eye restrictions
61. Sensory deprivation.
62. Humiliation play.
63. Learning to cum on command
64. Becoming/training a slave
61. Hair pulling
62. Face slapping
63. Spitting
64. Anal play — analingus (giving)
65. Anal play — analingus (getting)
66. Orgasm control
67. Bukkake
68. Age play/pacifiers
69. Choking
70. Chastity
71. Throat gagging
72. Gun play
73. Funnel play
74. Handcuffs
75. Immobilization
76. Rope bondage
77. Sadism/masochism
78. Wax play
79. Fire play
80. Spreader bars
81. Tickling
82. Mummification
83. Vacuum bags
84. Breath play
85. Foot worship
86. Boot blacking

Obviously, this list is far from complete; feel free to add your own. But it is a great place to start in identifying what makes you tick – kink-wise that is.

Since all relationships – from high protocol BDSM to ultra vanilla – require compromise, this list should enable you to identify which areas you truly need – “11”s if you will – to those you can live without

By BaadMaster
After a ten year run as head writer for the legendary bondage.com, and an equally long run as the host of the hit internet show “Baadmaster’s Dungeon,” we are pleased to welcome the one and only Baadmaster to KinkWeekly. His thoughts about all things BDSM will now appear regularly on these pages. From the mental aspects of D/s to the nuts and bolts of S&M play, Baadmaster will cover every facet of this ever expanding lifestyle.

Discovering Your Kinks

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mdhl

You’re new to BDSM and kink. Maybe you read 50 Shades or are recently divorced (that was me!) or have known for a long time you might be kinky, yet you are just getting started. You have opened up to a new world and you want to explore it. Where the heck do you start? How do you figure out what you like or don’t like (for now) when you’ve never done any of it or know anyone who can guide you?

There’s a thing called frenzy (sub frenzy or Dom/Top frenzy depending on which side of the slash you’re on). When a newbie to the scene wants to try “all the things”, yet doesn’t know how to go about it and ends up risking their safety along the way. I am here to tell you that it’s ok to slow down and enjoy the discovery of “all the things”. So that’s my first tip in regard to kink discovery – take your time!

Step one, in my opinion, is to gain more knowledge about various types of play, etiquette, and safety. A great way to do this is by attending classes as well as munches. (If this article applies to you then I will quickly add that a “munch” is when local kinksters gather in a vanilla setting for casual socializing and perhaps food/drinks.) Munches are wonderful for meeting other kinksters and getting some first hand, personal observations and opinions. Classes are also one of the best ways to start because you learn so much without putting yourself in risky situations. I wouldn’t be very good at promoting if I didn’t mention that if you are in the Southern CA area I teach a BDSM 101 series and host a munch every Monday night at Sanctuary LAX (yes there may be another plug later in the article, but how could I not? Lol). Yet, outside of my classes there are other classes here in the LA area and if you are looking for classes or munches wherever you are located you should check the events link on Fetlife.com. Take any classes you can! Even if the topic or type of play being taught isn’t an interest of yours – go anyway. You will at the very least meet people and you may also learn some very valuable things that may come in handy as you continue your journey.

As you meet people you will find those that you click with who can help steer you in the right direction to try things, or can be potential play partners to help you discover what you like. If you’re in SoCal (get ready for plug #2!) you can attend Club Awakening which is a monthly play party I host where there are “tasting booths” set up for you to try various types of play – run by experienced kinksters. If you are outside of Southern CA start to look for parties that are designed more for new people – perhaps parties that don’t allow edge play, etc. Or simply find whatever party you can attend with a friend or two that you’ve made by going to all those classes and munches!

In any case, remember, if you are trying something new (whether you’ve been in the scene 20 years or 20 days) start light and slow. Build from there and remember there is no shame in stopping if you aren’t comfortable. Everything is not for everyone. Also, just because you don’t like something now, doesn’t mean you may not enjoy it down the line. Continue to learn and discover – always!

Jennifer Masri is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, specializing in Alternative Lifestyles for individual and relationship issues. She also teaches the BDSM 101 class series at Sanctuary LAX in Los Angeles every Monday evening. Read more about Jennifer on her blog, A Kink Shrink.