marking

This week in kink, February 26, 2018

February 27, 2018 By Desdemona 3 Comments

This is one we haven’t heard of before. When you make a visit to see Mistress Velvet, you are not only paying for the pleasure of her company, you will also be getting a lesson in black feminist theory. Mistress Velvet has a masters degree in said field and she’s ready to teach you a thing or two in the bedroom and in life. Read more about it here.

What happens when marking starts to become an aversion to your partner? When you understand that your partner thoroughly enjoys the act, but you can’t bare to continue bruising/cutting/marking your partner. Read what Sex with Eugene has to say on the topic here.

Mistress Bliss talks all about what it’s like being married AND a professional dominatrix. Check out here interview here with Metro UK. She spends her days fulfilling sexual such as treating her clients like animals or using them as her own personal ashtray.

FetishArtist.net to Show at Laluzapalooza 2018

Hollywood, CA – FetishArtist.net has been invited to show “12 Inches of Blue,” and “He Is All Mine,” two Femdom erotic art pieces at Laluzapalooza, the 32nd annual group art show at the world famous La Luz de Jesus gallery in Hollywood, California.

“This gigantic, no-theme show features works from some of the freshest and most relevant artists working today,” said Matt Kennedy, Director at La Luz de Jesus gallery. “We sorted through tens of thousands of submissions from commercial illustrators, graphic designers, tattooists, scenics, students, street taggers, animators and working gallery artists.”

Laluzapalooza is one of only two open call group shows held each year by the gallery. La Luz de Jesus is widely heralded for launching the careers of legendary, cutting edge artists like Shag, The Pizz, and Robert Williams into the mainstream. This year, Laluzapalooza has over 160 pieces from 65 artists, continuing the tradition of the most exclusive selection of jam-packed, salon-style exhibited works in Post-Pop.

“My kind thanks to Billy Shire, Matt Kennedy, and the family at La Luz de Jesus,” said Jay E. Moyes of FetishArtist.net. “They’ve already made 2018 the best year ever in my artistic career, leaving me in wonder as to what more great things could lay ahead.”

Laluzapalooza kicks off with an opening reception on Friday night, March 2nd at 8:00 P.M. and will be on display through Sunday, April 1st.

Fetish art patrons do not need to attend to purchase. An online catalog, with purchase information is available at http://laluzdejesus.com/laluzapalooza-2018

Have some kinky news to share? Tell us about any upcoming BDSM events, new products, dungeon openings / closings, collarings, kink in mainstream media, and anything else you think kinky folks might be interested to hear about. Send your tips through to news@kinkweekly.com, and it might just end up on next week’s “This Week in Kink”

BDSM MARKING PART 2

October 30, 2017 By Baadmaster 3 Comments

An examples of light bruising on anniebear's booty. — An examples of light bruising on anniebear’s booty.

I have covered marking in a previous Kink Weekly article. But it is one thing to discuss marking from a technical point of view; it is quite another to examine it from a relationship or emotional perspective.

Recently, I was asked the following question that is a real life concern and not simply a technical question:

“I have a submissive who loves to get marked. Lately, as I have fallen in love with her, I don’t like marking her anymore. Is this unusual or is this a common phenomenon?”

In some form or another, this is a popular dilemma; here is my attempt to answer this Domme’s question.

The only thing that never changes is that things change. It is part of the human condition. Thus, one should not be surprised at the fact that perceptions change, especially after falling in love with someone. As to this specific dilemma, let me state forthrightly that it is a common one. It has an analogous first cousin in the vanilla world, where the husband (or wife) complains that after marriage the spouse has changed for the worse. Thus a version of this happens in every lifestyle.

When you first played, I am sure you did not have many other considerations other than the play itself. There were few other considerations. Now here is the key. As you played more and more, even before the day that you actually admitted that you were in love, your play changed. It was never a constant. For example, you probably tried to improve your technique as you learned the way your sub reacted to different approaches. You might have gradually been marking her less and less over time and not even noticed it. Or, you might have not truly liked marking her from day one but just did it because, as you stated, “She loves to get marked.” There are any number of possibilities. Nevertheless, you probably did not notice the changes. More than likely, you were gradually marking her less and less over time.

In our lifestyle, what you are probably experiencing is what I call the “precious property syndrome.” Now that you are in love with your slave, you are even more protective and might not want to damage your “precious property.” This is a common pattern. Remember, there is the tendency to push limits over time. Unconsciously, you might be afraid that you will mark her more and more, so you have pulled the plug on the whole process. There is nothing wrong with this. You are not required to do anything in BDSM. There is no prerequisite that you mark your slave. If you don’t like doing it anymore, so be it. But be aware there might be consequences.

The most important component of any relationship, as we have stressed ad nausea, is communication. Master/Mistress as mind reader rarely works. Better to tolerate a little “topping from the bottom” than to fly blind. So, you must discuss this with your submissive. Obviously, she would have noticed that you were playing sans marking. So, ignoring it and keeping this concern to yourself is no solution at all.

What you must do whenever there is a radical change in your play is to discuss it with your partner. The key is less about you than about her. Learn how she feels about your new approach. If she doesn’t care one way or the other, then what’s the big deal? Or, you might find she only accepted your mark-intensive play style was to please you (as many subs do), then you won’t be losing anything. Thus, you can stop marking for now. Maybe, some day you will feel the need to resume it. Either way, there is no problem. (BaadMaster solves the problem by declaring there is no problem!)

On the other hand, if your sub really craves being marked, you might be facing a dilemma. There is an expression that you have to “dance with the girl that you brung to the dance.” In most cases, I have found that the most successful D/s couples are those that don’t turn their back on their roots. If they played heavy when they met, it is best not to neglect heavy play after they “couple up.” Thus, I would advise that you attempt to play with a light marking that won’t damage your “precious property,” but will give her the thrills she loved when you first played!

By BaadMaster
After a ten year run as head writer for the legendary bondage.com, and an equally long run as the host of the hit internet show “Baadmaster’s Dungeon,” we are pleased to welcome the one and only Baadmaster to KinkWeekly. His thoughts about all things BDSM will now appear regularly on these pages. From the mental aspects of D/s to the nuts and bolts of S&M play, Baadmaster will cover every facet of this ever expanding lifestyle.

Marking in BDSM

September 19, 2017 By Baadmaster 1 Comment

An example of very heavy bruising or "marking" — An example of very heavy bruising or “marking”

“Marking,” in our lifestyle, is a very broad term. It can refer to the temporary marks of the cane, it might mean writing something like “Master’s Slave” with a Sharpie or it could mean a tattoo or brand of ownership. The technicalities of all three differ widely; but the implications of all of them are quite similar.

Temporary markings are usually caused by the use of a flogger, riding crop, cane, paddle or toy on the bare butt of the submissive. If your aim is to mark your submissive in this manner, remember that marks usually appear quite a bit later. Usually all you will see during the scene is a reddening of the skin. Thus, it takes skill to know when you have spanked enough to cause marks – as you will rarely see them appear right then and there.

The beauty of marks, as many submissives have stated, is that the emotive impact of the scene can stay with you for as long as the marks are there. They are physical and sensory reminders of the spanking. It is one thing to just recall a scene; but looking at the marks can actually trigger deeper memories of the scene. Besides being a trigger to relive or replay the scene in the submissive’s head, the marks can also be seen as a literal mark of submission. From the Dom/me’s point of view, marking can be a total turn-on. Just seeing their handiwork after a scene can reinforce all the hottest aspects of Dominance. Of course, there are those players where marks are no big deal and have little significance. There are no hard and fast rules; there is no one way to do BDSM. That said, for many there can be great significance attached to marking; some Tops will only mark a partner who is their collared submissive. No matter what, if you are marking your submissive in play, make sure you listen for his/her safe word. You might not have to go too hard — even a very light caning can cause marks. So, keep this in mind.

Another popular way of “marking” a submissive is with, duh, a marker! Writing phrases like “Master’s Property” or “Slut” with a Sharpie can add a lot to a scene. As there is no physical danger involved (unless the submissive is allergic to Sharpies, a very rare condition,) one must negotiate what areas might damage the submissive’s psyche. For example, she might object to “Whore,” so one should be aware of your submissive’s hard psychological limits.

When a couple takes the “Sharpie concept” to the tattoo level, that is where one must exercise caution. While we admit that a tattoo that proclaims the submissive to be “Master’s Property” to be very hot and powerful, most tattoo artists seem to concur that this is often the kiss of death for the relationship for some unfathomable reason. It might be that many choose an ownership tattoo to strengthen a D/s relationship that is going downhill. Whatever the reason, the following posting perfectly illustrates the “ownership tattoo” dilemma.

“Are you a Dominant male legally named Derrick? Beautiful
slave tattooed ‘Property of Derrick’ and now released, ISO
a new Master with same legal name. If interested, email…”

Whether real or fictional, it demonstrates the problem a slave tattoo can cause. Even with a laser, the removal process is far from foolproof. So, if you are deciding to mark your slave with a tattoo, make sure it is done for the right reasons. If it is done within a great Dom/sub relationship, it can raise it to an even higher level. If it is to salvage a deteriorating one, then it is likely to end at Dr. Tattoff’s.

Branding, which we have covered in greater detail in a previous Kink Weekly article, has bit more range than tattooing; there are temporary and permanent brands. Temporary brands are usually referred to as “surface burns.” A skillfully done surface burn will usually begin to fade within a few months; after a year, the most that will remain is a residual redness – depending upon the skin type.

Although there are those who get permanently branded just for the thrill of it, or masochists who like extreme pain, permanent branding is usually reserved for the most serious of D/s couples as a mark of ownership. It demands the highest level of trust — the submissive must have total trust in the Dom/me’s branding skill or judgment in choosing a brander. A permanent brand is even harder to remove than a tattoo. So, the same warnings apply to a permanent brand as to the tattoo.

No matter what markings you choose, from Sharpie to branding, remember that any of them can amplify the intensity of your scene or your relationship. None of them is superior to the other. I personally have never branded a slave; but I have chosen my slave’s tattoos and also marked mine during play. In the context of my BDSM relationship, that is ideal. So, just choose what works for you and your submissive — and your marks will be perfect!

marking

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