mistress

Erotica: The Midan Beating Slave

November 22, 2020 By Dame TylerRose. Leave a Comment

wet woman in white tank top — via stock.adobe.com

“How did the belt whipping you got from Rigio feel?”

Silence.

“Please tell me. Did it feel good?”

Tension in her shoulders, heaving breaths again. She warred within herself between what had been and what now was.

“It’s okay to say that it did feel good, Faesca. It’s not bad to like what your Masters do with you. Not in Mida.”

He gave her a moment to think on that.

“Would you like to have another belt whipping like you got from Rigio?”

She nodded under her arms.

His hand slipped under her arm to draw her from the sofa. “Come here.”

She turned around, feeling small and shaking nervously again. His strong fingers under her chin tilted her face up until she looked at him. She knew so much…and so little.

“It’s okay, Faesca. It is important to tell us you like what we do. If you like it, we do it more. We like to do the things you like to receive. If you want me to give you a nice strapping, you have only to ask,” he concluded, opening firm fingers to softly cup her cheek.

She struggled with acceptance, a single tear sliding out her right eye for such unfamiliar kindness.

“You are allowed pleasure here,” he said, calm with measured earnest. “We require that all things be pleasurable to our love slaves. No one will punish you for liking the things we do. We will prize you all the more.”

He paused, seeing her ease slightly and deciding on a new angle.

“Do you feel a gnawing in your belly? A craving for the pain of the strap? Here?”

His hand massaged just below her belly button.

Blinking, the scared bunny returned, she nodded a tiny nod.

“Do you like the peaceful calm that settles over you after?”

Another nod. How did he know?

“Do you sleep very well?” he asked with a small smile, hand lowering to cup her quim. She stood wider on her knees for him…such a good girl…and gave a more confident nod.

“How often did your former whip you?” he asked, slipping two fingers into her.

“A’mosh every gay,” she whispered so small he barely heard.

“Almost every day?” he repeated for clarity.

One more nod.

He removed the fingers, judging her to be receptive but not yet in high need.

He held his arms open. “Come here.”

She put herself into his embrace and he held her close and warm. A long moment it was, during which she calmed considerably. He ended the hug, set her back at the half arm’s length.

“Now tell me true. Would you like me to give you a nice long strapping to help you feel that special quiet and sleep well?”

Calm, quiet, with that same adorable blink. “Peash, Masker.”

He kissed her forehead tenderly. “Good girl. As you were over the cushion. Be prepared for me.”

She was much faster this time and he made only one correction, moving her arms off her head. “My aim is true, sweet little Faesca. I will never strike that which I do not want to hit. And I never will want to hit you in the head. Not ever. I promise you.”

On second thought, one more adjustment. He moved her hair clear of her face, wanting to see her expression. And maybe putting her knees a couple inches farther over so he could better see the pink of her puss while she remained tall on her knees. He started lightly, ranging from her shoulders down to her ribs, listening to her gasp, watching her flinch inside her skin. After ten minutes, he stroked a hand over her back. She sucked in a breath, sighing it out long and even. Slipping his other hand down and under to find her clitoris, she was catapulted into a sudden hard climax.

He had not expected it so soon. Nor so easily.

“Very good girl. Would you like a harder beating now?”

“Peash, Masker,” she breathed.

He took her through another quarter hour, increasing his speed and force until she was taking as hard as he wanted of her. Only a moderate force. Not nearly as hard as he would in future days. Not for the first with him. And this time, when he grasped her clitoris, she shrieked and jerked downward in ejaculatory orgasm.

The beating itself aroused her passions.

He sat on the sofa to watch her recover from the powerful release, thinking he would have to reward Dohan very well. Such a treasure as this was rare indeed. He got himself another serving of wine, smiling into it when his secretary knocked on the door to announce Axlar’s return.

“Your timing is impeccable, brother,” he said, having risen. “I have something to show you.”

Without asking her if she wanted more, Preece began another round. He started as hard as he had ended the previous, quickly working up to smarting ¾ strength thwacks that echoed off the stone walls. She made no sound other than the occasional grunt or sigh. She no longer flinched, rapidly descending into the Beating Slave’s Dream Space. He gave her only five minutes worth, however. A firm squeeze of her clit and her cum jetted from her, running down both thighs in a warm river. No shriek this time. She let out a long, low, grunting groan and her body shuddered hard.

“Was that your idea or hers?” Axlar asked.

“She requested a strapping after some discussion to get her over her many Murabettan morals and trepidations. She is primed and ready for you and I’ll be back in the morning. I have to reward my slave.”

“What did Doe do?” Axlar asked, helping Peeper to her feet.

“Put his own ass on the line to make me see she’s a beating slave. Not a thing he does often,” Preece replied, watching Peeper swoon so that Axlar was compelled to scoop her up into strong arms.

“I’ll see you tomorrow in Council,” Axe said by way of exit.

He carried her through the palace to his own chamber and eased her onto the bed. The slightest caress of her thigh and she opened completely to him. So yielding and acquiescent was she that he took her to the limits of her endurance and left her sleeping in his bed while he went to the evening meal. He didn’t leave her for long, however, taking Rainko back with him. Refreshed by the deep nap, she did not protest when the two took turns with straps from the wall. Axlar refrained from introducing her to penile sodomy, instead using a medium sized leather phallus to begin opening her. He and his brother shared her repeatedly, toying with her together, watching as the other used her alone, delighting in the newness of the day’s discovery and learning her responses to many things.

Rainko escorted her to the slave hall and personally put her into her sleeping space. He remained at the opening, a hand resting on her leg until she was asleep. A matter of minutes in her well-fucked, well-beaten state. He went in search of Morcone, finding the Custodian of Thralls in his small office with Echie in bondage on her back over his desk and numerous painful clips in various places over breasts, thighs and labia.

A lovely picture indeed.

“Peeper is to be cared for in the manner of a beating slave from now on.”

“That is rather sudden, Highness,” Morcone replied, having risen from his chair to bow for the Prince.

“Six years in the making, actually. She may be new to Mida’s way of the love slave; but she is an experienced and quite accomplished beating slave.”

“How accomplished?” Morcone had to ask.

“Give her a few months and she’ll equal Orla.”

With that, Prince Rainko went to his own chamber, to Hanar’s waiting flesh. For the first time in months, he was too spent to make use of her, turning over with his back to her to get a sound sleep. And sent her back to the Slave Hall in the gray of early dawn without using her even once.

Excerpt from PEEPER — https://books2read.com/u/bOxRLK

——-

TylerRose. is known as Dame Tyler in the NYC public SM/Fetish scene. She is an award-winning author who has written two “lifestyle”, four cartoon, and twentysomething fiction books.

Twitter — https://twitter.com/DameTyler or @DameTyler
FB Fan Page — https://www.facebook.com/TylerRoseGethis/

FB Regular page — https://www.facebook.com/TylerRoseAuthor

Read her books on her Amazon page — https://www.amazon.com/TylerRose./e/B00HCPLSP2

You can also find more of her OP/ED work in Fetlife: https://fetlife.com/users/305828

She enjoys crocheting and baking, and will no doubt die with a thesaurus open on her thigh.

Trust in Power Exchange

November 22, 2020 By Baadmaster Leave a Comment

With the corona virus extending its “Reign of Error” (as a lot of people have got this pandemic wrong) into every area of our lives, I suggest we protect the most important areas in our lives WHEN POSSIBLE! (Was that the longest sentence in kink weekly?) To clarify: obviously, we cannot just go back to business as usual. For example, except for Mistress Cyan’s Virtual Dungeon, all the bondage clubs, at least in L.A., are closed. So, what to do to keep our bondage skills sharp and to also have fun.By some magical coincidence, I was going through my “questions bag” (which really isn’t a bag) and found a query that, although written pre-pandemic, was rather prescient and deserves to be answered. So here we go:

Reader: I’m a newbie, but am very interested in expanding my horizons. It’s giving control to someone else that appeals most to me about the bondage world. I love games of the mind, and have always been a control freak in every aspect of my life. The idea of a Dom having his way with me is thoroughly exciting. BUT it is also scary. How do I learn to trust someone? To lose control? How do I stay safe?

It appears (emphasis on the word “appears”) that many people who are control freaks in their everyday world long to give up control in their BDSM life. They not only find it exciting, but they also like the break from being controlling and responsible. But, as the saying goes, “Old habits die hard.” The desire to give up control, no matter how freeing and appealing it might be, is often easier said than done.

Thus, you are not alone in desiring to make the transition from day-to-day “Domme” to a submissive. The keys to making this big leap are threefold: a) “fantasy vs. need” b) “Rome wasn’t built in a day” and c) “letting go is a process.” Let’s examine, in detail, each of these three “keys” that I proposed.

The first one is “fantasy vs. need.” Is giving up control just a hot fantasy or is it an actual need of yours? Many people have sexual or BDSM fantasies that get them excited. But, as I have stated many times, there is no rule that says you must act on every craving that floats your boat. It might just be that due to your personal situation, this “submissive fantasy” is one that might best be left unexplored. On the other hand, if you have a true “submissive need,” then you should forget that it is scary and just give it a shot.

For most adults, consensual needs, I suggest – if at all possible – you not leave them unfulfilled. If this is your case, and submission is an unbending need and not just a pie-in-the-sky fantasy, then it is time to get to the “Rome wasn’t built in a day” principle.Learning to trust someone is a step-by-step progression. Trust is neither automatically given nor demanded – it must be earned over time. Thus, you have a right to be wary of any new Dom you play with – until he establishes the level of trust you feel comfortable with. As with any human endeavor, there are variations from person to person. Thus, it might take you more time to be at ease with one Dom than another.

Trust your instincts. This is especially true with respect to safety issues. In play, make sure you have a safe word and don’t be afraid to use it. If you do, and the Dom respects it, that is one way trust is built. Again, don’t expect instant trust. Furthermore, if your Dom tells you “I don’t believe in safe words” right out of the box, this is a big red flag. This is – especially in your case, where you have apprehension – as close to a “no-go” as you can find.Finally, about “letting go.” This is the end result of the whole process; it is not the process itself. It happens automatically after everything else has fallen into place. You don’t have to worry about it. In fact, worry (along with tension, doubt and too much thinking) is the enemy of “letting go.”

When you trust your Dom implicitly, when you aren’t stressing about safety issues, when you become less self-conscious about the whole idea of submitting, then you will automatically “let go.” A good Dom will put you at ease about your concerns and free your mind to perform the tasks that he will demand of you — the actions that, taken in totality, define “submission.” Believe me, with all the decisions that are thrust upon me during thin pandemic, I too would like to be an “Un-Dom” for week or two! Or even a day!The beauty of submission is that, ideally, it is a mental state wherein your mind is freed from all concerns other than the submission itself. Thus, by its very definition, it cannot exist until all your other fears and doubts are dispelled. And, except in very rare circumstances, that takes time!

After a ten year run as head writer for the legendary bondage.com, and an equally long run as the host of the hit internet show “Baadmaster’s Dungeon,” we are pleased to welcome the one and only Baadmaster to KinkWeekly. His thoughts about all things BDSM will now appear regularly on these pages. From the mental aspects of D/s to the nuts and bolts of S&M play, Baadmaster will cover every facet of this ever expanding lifestyle.

Erotica: The Marionette

November 14, 2020 By Joji Sada 2 Comments

sexy submissive hair pulling toilet slut — via stock.adobe.com

I need you to leave me.

No, that’s not quite true. I need you to leave me…broken.

I need you to strip me of my building doubt and fear and bring me back to reality.

It has been a long few months Sir. I’ve waited patiently from the shelf I’ve been placed on. A lifeless doll, stationed on the living room bookcase, just watching the world through wooden lids.

Can you see the varnish on my eyes; glossed over and shining with need? Can you hear the creak of my hinges as I try to reach out to you? Can you feel the cracks in my body when you hug me? Can you taste the dust covering my soul when you kiss me?

Probably not.

I am a very good marionette. I move when you need me to. I move in and out of your vision when I feel it is necessary to ease your stress levels.

I make a lot of decisions. My mind moves a mile a minute, but my mouth is stitched shut. I tug and I tug but the threads are so tight.

I should be panicking.

But, I’m not.

Because good girls wait for when they are needed.

Isn’t that right Sir?

I am a slow learner, but I know that patience is a cornerstone of self-control. And self-control is your number one requirement.

So, I wanted to share a story with you. I want you to close your eyes and dream of breaking me in the most deliciously depraved ways.

Here is what I see:

My eyes are closed. They have been for ages now. You put me in the back of your van, told me to keep them shut, and not say a word. I do not know how long we have been driving. For all I know, you have been driving in circles just to disorient me.

Halfway through, you told me to strip. I am not wearing much. I never do when you tell me to get ready. I am so used to being naked for you, clothing seems almost a sin. There should never be anything that prevents you from seeing or touching any part of me at any time.

Its cold, even inside your van. I am curled in a ball, my knees at my chest, with my back against the seat. I am staying out of view. It would be no fun if the police were to pull us over.

It is taking everything I have Sir not to open my eyes. My stomach is rolling with motion sickness and my body is disoriented from all the movement. Yet, I know that’s why you did not blindfold me. You prefer that I obey through will power and without assistance. That’s why I know that whatever happens, I am going to have to make sure I stay in the moment.

Thankfully, the van finally stops. I have not moved. I am waiting for your instruction.

Mistake number one.

I hear the door open and suddenly my ankle is pulled harshly. My head drops to the floor and my back burns from the rug.

“Up and Present”

I scramble to follow your voice. I am hesitant because I cannot see where you are and where I should be. As I get up on my knees, you have decided I am not moving fast enough. Your fingers wrap around the chainmaille of my day collar and yank me forward. You are the only thing holding me up.

“Have you forgotten everything? Is this what I am stuck with?”

Your words sting. I keep my face stoic. You have not given me leave to speak. But, I right myself and get my balance back. My hands lock behind my back. My knees are biting into the grooves in the floor of the van. The connector bars for the seats are not kind to my shins either.

You lightly smack my cheek. “Head up.” You command. Then, without warning, my collar drops from my neck. My eyes are wide behind the lids. Now, I am panicking a little bit. You’ve never removed it without warning before. Have I upset you Sir? Are you abandoning me here? Am I being released? My chest is heavy and constricted. What have I done? Why won’t you talk to me? Please Sir. Please, tell me I can speak. Please.

Thirty seconds.

Thirty seconds and I have worked myself into a panic.

Thirty seconds and then I feel it. I feel the smoothness of my leather collar. I can hear the rings and feel the heaviness against my throat. I take a deep breath. I know what is coming next.

Your hands tighten it to its furthest point. I can see white spots behind my eyelids. My lips fall open in an ‘O’ and I gasp. This is about control. You will release when you are ready, not when I am.

And you do. As the blood pounds through my head and my head is dizzy in need, you let go. You buckle it comfortably.

I’m naked, terrified, and in my TPE collar.

Maybe I shouldn’t have asked you to break me.

Your palm is resting on the top of my head. I am trying to prepare myself for what I have gotten myself into.

Ten Seconds.

Twenty seconds.

Thirty seconds.

The silence is long tonight. It is never a good sign when you are quiet Sir. It means you are losing yourself in the moment. That means the dragon you keep leashed inside will be in charge tonight. I may not survive this.

And so, it begins.

Your hand curls into my hair and I am yanked from the van and thrown to the ground below. It is soft and cold. In a split second, your hand is back in my hair and you are half dragging me. I am trying to crawl fast enough, but I keep stumbling. Left and right, back and forth, there is no rhyme or reason to where you are taking me. I feel filthy. My hands and knees are sinking into the Earth.

Please Sir, let me open my eyes.

I am thrown back to the ground with a disgusted sigh. I can hear your frustration with me. I don’t remember the last time I couldn’t keep up with you, step for step. I’m frustrated with myself and we have only just begun.

I turned my face sideways to lessen the pain on contact. I figured it out now.

You have me in the mud. You have me naked, outdoors, in the fucking mud. I did the first thing that came to mind. I growled.

I forget how quick you can move Sir. You had me flipped over and you knelt across my ass, your knee landing on my lower back. Your hand wrapped in my hair and yanked my head back painfully. You leaned close to my ear and spoke ever so softly.

“Did you have something to say piggie?”

I growled again.

You pushed my face into the mud and then pulled me back.

“Good little piggies oink.”

Silence.

I refuse to give you what you are asking.

Try Me. Push Me. Make Me.

As soon as you let go of my hair, I made a decision. I bucked my ass up to jostle you and I took off. Even with my eyes closed, I was determined to put distance between us. I have no idea if you lost your balance or not. As quick as I felt your boot to my side, kicking me over, I knew I had not bucked hard enough.

I landed on my back and before I could breathe, your boot was on my neck. It pressed firmly and I felt myself sinking into the mud. My hands pushed against your boot without relief. I knew I had pissed you off.

“Open your eyes.” My eyes popped open instantly. Even in the darkness, it was too bright. I blinked rapidly and struggled to breathe.

You are ready to watch me suffer.

You finally lift from my neck and I am gasping for breath. Your boot meets my cheek and shoves half my face back into the ground and I hear you talking finally.

“Your hands will stay off my leather if you wish to keep them out of play. Do I make myself clear?”

“yes.”

You push down harder. “Yes, Sir.”

“Up.”

My breathing is laboured and I am seriously contemplating refusing you. But, deep down, I cannot bring myself to do so.

I need this.

I lift myself from the mud. It is already drying on me. I can feel it cracking. I’m on my knees, staring up at you.

You tap my lips and I open obediently, tongue out. You clip a clothespin to next to my piercing. You smile so mockingly. “This will help wash you off.” I glared. Drool is not a way to wash myself.

“Tonight, we are going to work on your discipline, lil piggie. Kneel up, off your heels. Back straight, eyes forward, neck straight. Lace your fingers behind your head and keep your arms up. I do not want to hear a sound.”

You walked around me. I don’t like losing sight of you Sir, especially in such a foreign environment. I feel your boot nudge my ass. I rocked ever so slightly, but no sound.

Then, it happened. I felt a sharp sting. It hurt. I was unprepared for this Sir.

Then again.

And again. There was no warm-up. You are hitting me as though we have been doing impact for a half hour now. My body is cold and sensitive.

It hurts. My knees are shaking. Holding myself in this position makes it hard to zone out the pain of the hits.

I bet that was your intention.

Six. I think so anyway.

Seven. A sob is caught in my throat.

Eight. I am unsure what it even striking me at this point. It hurts. You keep changing the contact point.

Nine. The tears are leaking. I am trying so hard to keep quiet. I need to please you.

Ten. That was a particularly vicious hit to my thighs. I broke.

I fell forward. My body is hunched over, my back bare. My hands are in the mud and I am shaking, trying to keep the sobs in.

Silence.

I can hear you breathing. Even now, it cuts through the sobs. I am aware of you.

I bring myself back up into position. Just as you expect.

Its not the falling that disappoints you. It is the unwillingness to pick myself back up.

I look up at you. You are blurry through the tears.

Without a word, you take your boot and place it on my chest. You push. My body starts bending backwards. You are saying all you need to without a single word. If I am going to bend, it will be at your will and your will alone.

I keep balance for as long as I can until I am once again on my back. Your boot moves and the heel grinds into my nipple piercing. It feels as though you will rip it from my body. It hurts to intensely.

My body is twisting, trying to escape you. Your weight holds me in place.

Please Sir. It hurts so bad.

You move to my other piercing. It burns.

Please Sir.

Please.

You’ve barely touched me and I feel as though I’ve run a marathon.

I just want your comfort now.

Please Sir.

You move to grind your boot against my sex. My pelvic bone feels as though it is cracking beneath you.

I’m sobbing again.

But I know how to end this.

I must give myself over to your control again.

You are waiting for me to willingly do so.

I have known what I need to do for a while now. But my head was set on rebellion.

After a particularly strong grind, you remove your weight. Sobbing, covered in mud, and aching fiercely, I curl into a ball.

Brokenly, I end it.

“OINK.”

My name is Joji. I am 29 years old currently and I have been in and around the kink community about 15 years.I am a collared submissive to Magick42. I am also a Daddy to a wonderful babygirl, and have been for more than three years now and I find it very fulfilling. I am being mentored in and being taught electroplay. I am a masochist at heart and thoroughly love impact play, especially caning. I enjoy reading anything I can get my hands on and am a die hard Harry Potter and Doctor Who fan. I am also the secretary for a group in Idaho called Moscow S.P.A.R.K.E (Simply Providing Another Route to Kink Education). It is our mission to teach safe practices to those new to the community and give them a safe haven to ask questions and learn without judgement. We accept all kinks and all we ask in return is respect between all our members.

Rewards vs. Recognition In Power Exchange

November 14, 2020 By Ms. Rika 2 Comments

hot submissive wanting to please her dominant — via stock.adobe.com

I hope you have been enjoying Rika’s Lair, my monthly column dedicated to thoughts and experiences regarding power dynamics in Service-Oriented D/s relationships. Look up “Ms. Rika” in the search box for links to all of my articles in KinkWeekly!

I’ve written, at length, about my approach when it comes to rewards and punishments. I don’t do either of those. I refer you to my other books for that discussion. However, I’ve also written about how a key responsibility of the dominant is to recognize the submissive’s efforts so that the submissive does not feel alone / abandoned in the dynamic.

Some people have argued that recognition of the submissive’s role and assessment of the quality of the job, is tantamount to a reward for the submissive. They feel that a dominant saying “good job” or “thank you for continuing to serve me” is a reward for their efforts.

I disagree with this notion. It’s true that submissives get pleasure and satisfaction from a dominant’s recognition, however, there is a strong distinction between rewards and recognition.

Though I don’t do rewards, I do a lot of recognition. My subs love that I recognize them and, in fact, recognition is a basic necessity of the dynamic. However the difference that I see, stems from dictionary definitions of the two words.

In my mind, the difference is as follows:

Recognition is personal praise or gratitude for good work and can be given at any time.

Rewards are tied to goals and accomplishments and are generally given up on completion.

I don’t reward goals / accomplishments because top-notch service is expected of my submissives. There is nothing “out of the ordinary” for submissives to work hard and complete a task, assignment, or even anticipate a need extremely well. If I set a goal for a submissive, they strive to achieve it, primarily to please me.

I do however, provide personal praise for their efforts and also will show my gratitude for their continued submission. Note: As in my essay on “Saying Please and Thank You”, I choose to show my gratitude that my submissives continue to choose to serve me each day…as they show theirs to me for allowing them to do so. If a sub does a great job of anticipating something for me, and removes an obstacle before I have to face it, I’m both grateful and generous with my praise.

Just because someone enjoys recognition and gets something out of it (e.g., Pride, sense of accomplishment, and affirmation of the dynamic), doesn’t make it a reward. A reward is linked (in my vernacular), to completion of goals or milestones. Rewards are more: Do this, and get that” – “Get this because you did that”. It’s motivations and incentives.

Herein lies my issue with rewards. I question why a sub would need more motivation / incentive than serving their dominant well and receiving acknowledgment of a job well done. A pleased and satisfied dominant is the objective of their submission, so why would it take anything more or less than that to motivate the best possible service? I’m suspect when that isn’t enough.

Recognition, on the other hand, is one of the most important, and often neglected responsibilities that a dominant takes on in my methodology. Recognizing when your submissive is striving to meet your expectations and fulfill your preferences, is important in letting them know that you’re active and present in the dynamic. It doesn’t take a lot to recognize a sub: Just a “Good job serving me” or an “I see how you did that for me, and I liked it” go a long way. I like to have my sub thank me for doing things for me: A little bit of irony goes a long way. These are really simple, no effort things that just say, “I’m here, I’m present, and I see your effort”.

As far as I’m concerned, recognition is a must. I recognize my subs as often as possible. I prefer higher volume of lower effort recognition. Reward, on the other hand, is unnecessary and often counter productive; as it tends to distract submissives from their ultimate motivation – that of pleasing their dominant by fulfilling their expectations.

Ms. Rika is a lifestyle dominant, educator, and author; living in the suburbs of NYC with her husband/slave. She has written several popular books on her approach to adding Dominant-Centric, Service-Oriented D/s to relationships. You can find her books (in both print and eBook formats) at Lulu.com (http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/msrika), or at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, the iStore, Books-A Million, Kobo.com, or anywhere books are sold. Search for “Ms. Rika”. Write to me at Ms_Rika@hotmail.com

Erotica: The Fight Within

November 7, 2020 By Joji Sada 2 Comments

hot sexy male submissive with leather harness — via stock.adobe.com

***all pieces of erotica are works of fiction. We never condone anything that is NOT consensual, safe, ethical, or sane.

I need to specify to those reading this, that playing during high emotion can be dangerous. You can miss verbal/body cues, overlook a safeword, or face the issue of potentially blacking out/disassociating.

I wrote this to explore parts of my psyche I’ve yet to delve into. But I also wrote this to someone with whom I trust my life.

The goal of delving into the darker parts of the mind, is to learn. There is more revealed in the unconscious mind than in any other medium.

Even if I never delve into this scenario in person, I will have revealed everything I need to…subconsciously. Master has told me, on more than one occasion, that my writing gives him insight because I pour myself into it. It is the same reason he refuses to read unfinished work and offer suggestions. If he did, it could influence me.

I explore darkness only with someone who can bring me back into the light. I explore brokenness only with someone who can piece me back together. I explore emotional fuckery only with someone who will not be crushed beneath the weight of it.

What you choose to do is your decision. Just know, if you cannot separate what is done in a scene from what happens in real life, your relationship can be irrevocably changed or damaged.

You once told me, Sir, that I push your boundaries unlike anyone else.

I had to think about that. At first glance, it looks as though I lack respect for your limits. But, when we talked about it, you told me it meant I pushed you as you push me.

We have successfully faced quite a few demons and delved into some dark places.

We have moved seamlessly from physical pain to mental and we continue to push against what is deemed as safe and sane.

We are risk takers Sir. I’d have it no other way.

With that in mind, I wish to request a new boundary to be explored.

I want you to make me angry Sir.

I want you to throw me against the proverbial wall and help me bring the bricks down.

I want to feel the thrum of adrenaline and the fire in my veins.

I want to fight you.

I want to growl and scream and cry.

I want you to take me down without mercy.

Are you willing to brave this with me Sir? Are you willing to catch me on the other side as I come down? Are you willing to help me deal with the guilt when this is done?

Are you willing and able to keep me sane without losing yourself in the process?

We don’t play angry. We have always refused to play during any heavy influx of emotions.

Tonight, I want that to change.

Please, Sir?

You are a crafty bastard Sir. When I asked for an emotionally charged scene, I did not expect you to have me set it up.

You know how much I hate making decisions.

I know you’re fucking with me. But I also know you want to understand how far to push me.

See, you can read me my body like no other. But what I choose at the beginning, gives you an idea of how far to go.

I understand it. I just don’t like it.

I knew the two fastest ways to anger without conflict.

Step one: My song. On repeat. Seven minutes of mesmerizing lyrics that take me over.

You can see the change in me. There is a reason I rarely play this song. It stirs my mind like a woman possessed. It makes me feel…violent.

Step two: Handcuffs

We both know the cuffs alone will make me fight. I tried breaking the kitchen chair last time we used them.

This time, you were smarter.

You locked one wrist in front of me, pulled the chain between my legs, and locked the other one. Then you pulled the leg irons chain over the cuffs and pulled them down and around the leg of the bedframe.

I am technically free to move within a small area. With difficulty, I can switch from kneeling to sitting but little else is possible.

You snap your fingers.

I Breathe deeply. We are about to begin.

You want me immersed.

I sit down on my ass, my knees bent and my hands loosely hanging. My top half is bare, and the room is chilly. My fingers are playing with the soft fabric of my leggings already. Can you see my anxiety already Sir? I don’t think I have hidden it very well.

The leg irons pull against my ankles. I have twisted the chain already, but I refuse to say anything. I will deal with this.

I look up at you. I am scared Sir.

For all my bravado, I do not like being angry. I know that I could hurt someone. I know that I could hurt you if I sink too far. I feel very small for asking for this.

You read me so well. You look deep into my eyes, my lip trembling, and you run your fingers through my hair. It soothes me. I close my eyes to revel in it and you backhand me.

We’ve started.

From this point, you won’t let up until you are ready…or I color.

Would that be wrong? To color on a scene I’ve requested?

You will tell me that it is not wrong. And I know for damn sure, we would never be trying this if you didn’t trust me to speak up when needed.

Those thoughts cross my mind all the time.

So, let’s see what happens Sir.

Are you ready?

I am waiting for the music to start.

“Are you ready for this?”. You ask only once.

You are giving me an out.

I inhale deeply. I don’t want it.

“Press play” I state firmly.

Without another word, you press play. I know we have put the song on repeat for the length of the disc. It will continue to ramp me up until it is turned off.

The headphones are immersion ones. They close me off from the outside world. All I can hear is the music.

Then, you leave.

I fucking hate being alone. I get antsy and worried and scared.

Forty-five seconds in. My eyes close of their own volition.

1 and a half minutes in. I can feel my face contorting into a smirk.

2 minutes. My lips move unconsciously to mouth the dark words. You were smart Sir. By using the instrumental track, with only the backup vocals, I can sink ever so further. The ability to sing along and keep myself distracted from the emotion is no longer an option.

My chin drops to my chest. I roll my neck to one side and slowly to the other. I can feel the cracking of the bones.

3 minutes. My heart is pounding. My eyes are open and unseeing. My head cocks to the side, glaring into the nothingness.

Four minutes. Even though I know I shouldn’t, I start rubbing the cuff rings.

The cuffs are cool to my thumbs as I rub the metal.

My thoughts are dark Sir; and sneaky.

We are halfway through the first play of the song. The bass drum is beating loud. I am tugging more frantically at my cuffs now. I feel them pulling against my hands.

I am going to bruise.

I am watching the door. I’m determined to be free by the time you come back. I plan to tackle you. I’m going to take you to the floor and have you beg me for mercy.

I can do it.

I smirk.

If not, I will go down fighting.

I was unprepared for the mask Sir. As soon as the darkness descended, I started bucking. You appeared from nowhere.

Were you watching me? Where? I could not see you.

Why would you hide Sir?

Are you scared of me?

Won’t you let me free Sir?

I can do such wondrous things to you.

After all, you cannot see the fire in my eyes with a hood on.

Tsk. Tsk. Tsk.

Whatever shall we do Sir? Won’t you let me out to play?

You have turned the volume up. I can feel the vibrations across the whole of my ears. I feel the zipper on the hood open across my mouth. I strike forward to bite you.

Rule number 2 in our dynamic. I am never to bite.

I’ve just declared war.

I am pulling roughly at the handcuffs. If I can shift the bed frame, then you have no chance.

I feel your hand grip the back of my neck, as though you were planning to lift me. You press my body forward. Your other palm presses harshly against my mouth and pinches my nose through the hood. I did not even have a chance to take a breath. I’m trying to wrestle free. I can hear the clanking of the metal over the music. I feel like a feral animal trying to free itself. My head is locked into place by your strength.

I am going to pass out.

Then, you let me breathe.

Or so I thought.

One big breath is all I managed before you shoved the gag between my teeth. You made sure I would be able to breathe by picking the ball gag with holes. But it clearly tells me that talking is out of the question.

Good.

If you want an answer, you are gonna need to read my fucking mind.

Sir.

I feel the chain go slack for a split second. You must have lifted the corner of the bed. I pull quickly and round my head in what I believe is your direction. It connects with something. I turn the other direction and roll onto my back. I know I cannot run with the way I am chained. But I do have enough room to kick you.

I kick out, low to the ground, and my foot connects. I know instantly I have hit too low. Your boots hurt quite a bit when kicked with bare feet. I aim higher but I feel your hand grab my ankles. My arms are stretched as you hold me tight.

Then the blows start.

A firm smack right onto my ass.

I hate this position. I hate having my legs in the air like a baby. It is humiliating…and you know it. That is exactly why you do it.

Two. Three. Four.

In such quick succession, I cannot catch my breath or bearings.

Five hits me full force to the top of my pussy.

Fuck. I guarantee you heard that through the gag.

Six. Seven. Eight.

Harder and harder you hit my ass. My body is trying to rock against the floor. Anything I can do to get free. I am not fairing so well at that.

Nine is a firm kick to the ass by your boot.

God Dammit.

Ten reigns down on my pussy once more. Pretty sure I am going to be icing for days at this point.

You drag me by my ankle across the carpet until we meet linoleum. You roll me over in one smooth motion and use the leverage of the chain to pull my knees up under me. My ass is now in the air and my face is pressed to the cold floor. My shoulders are burning, and my wrists are swollen. I am biting down on the rubber of the gag so hard I am expecting it to split.

I feel a heavy thud against my thighs. Oh god, not that one. I hate it.

Five thwacks, each getting harsher and harsher. The hood is wet now. It clings to my eyes as they water, and I have soaked the bottom half with my spit.

I keep trying to shift away from the blows. For a masochist, I move a lot Sir. Have you ever noticed that?

Five more and I am sobbing. My legs are shaking to the point that I cannot hold them up anymore. Then again, as soon as I started to drop them, I felt it.

You finally unsheathed the knife you were hitting me with.

The broad side of the blade is cool against my skin. I feel its tip at my belly button, with the rest of the length sliding down to my pussy. It is your warning to keep my position.

And it is my chance to end it.

Not a chance in hell Sir.

Is that all you’ve got?

My legs are trembling. I feel like I have been at the gym for a couple hours on a treadmill. I feel the knife sliding against my skin. I am trying to hold still. I know there will be marks. Even the dullest of your knives leave me with welts.

Ever so slowly, the tip slides down between my legs. I feel you grab the crotch of my leggings and I feel the sharp tug as you slice them. The knife leaves my skin for just a moment and I feel your fists shred my clothes the remaining in bit. I can only feel them clinging to me from my calves to my ankles. Then the blade is back.

You are cruel Master. I am trying to focus on where the blade is at, but the music is distracting me too much. If I had to guess, knowing the marks it will leave, I am positive you are drawing little smiley faces that I will be staring at in the mirror for the next week.

I am not amused!

But I can imagine the smirk you must be wearing at your own ingenuity.

I feel the tip slide down my thighs and to my calves. I feel the rest of my leggings fall from my body.

Time is relative in the dark. I lost count of the amount of times my song has played. I know my ass stings. I have no idea how long you have been marking me with that blade. I know it periodically slides between the lips of my vagina and I hold my breath every time. I know my jaw aches from the gag and my neck is sore from being on the floor in this position. My shoulders still burn, and my body shakes from either adrenaline or cold. Of which I am not entirely sure.

But I want more Sir.

When you have finished with the blade, I feel you give me one last whack with it after you sheathed it and I felt your breath light up the cuts along my backside.

Gently, you pull me up to my knees and let me lean my head against your legs. The music is turned down until it is a mere whisper. It stays constant, and I still cannot hear you, but it curbs the adrenaline.

You pick me up to standing but my legs cannot hold me. So, you leave me kneeling and drag me to wherever you desire me to be. You bend me over the bed. It keeps me kneeling but puts the pressure on my abdomen instead of my knees. I put my forehead against the softer surface.

Your hand is rubbing my ass. It feels nice.

Then I feel the cold. You just dumped ice water down my back, across my ass, and over my legs. My body tenses instantly. We both know I do not do well with temperature change.

This is new.

And then I understand why you turned the music down.

POP

Fuck.

It is the fucking cattle prod.

Yes, it hurts. But it is the sound that gets me.

Once to the thigh. It travels with the water as it drips down my skin.

Then you set it off near my ear. I jumped and thrashed.

Another to the ass. The knife marks light up with the electricity.

Did you know open wounds increase the intensity of the shocks? Of course you did. This is your favorite. To watch me bend and bow to the lightning. To watch me shiver from the cold, or is that fear?

One. Two.

POP. This one doesn’t touch me but I can hear it near my face.

Three.

POP.

Four. Five.

POP. This time I hear it behind my neck

Then one long intense one between my legs. I screamed with that one.

POP. I can hear it again, but I cannot tell where it is coming from. This time I hear it and it is followed by a smack to my ass. It must be the belt.

I cannot hold back the cries anymore.

Smack.

POP.

Silence.

Where am I Sir?

I am very, very cold and I cannot open my eyes.

My ears are buzzing but there is no defining sound. My body is shivering but I feel a warm hand on my stomach and one in my hair.

My heart has slowed.

My mind is jumbled and dark. I’m not really sure what is going on.

I don’t know how long it took but my eyes finally flutter open. It takes several tries. The room is very bright, even though we have black out curtains up.

I finally open my eyes and I see Master there. I am laying on my back with my head in his lap. He is watching me. He seems worried.

I see his lips moving but I cannot understand what he is saying.

Everything is a blur, but I can guess what happened.

I stare up at him with a soft smile. I am in the safest place right now.

He is waiting for an answer.

I know the question.

“My name is Joji.” I see him breathe a little easier.

He brushes my hair from my face and rubs soft circles on my tummy with his thumb.

“And my name?” The question sounds so soft to me, but I can hear him again.

“Master.” As I see him smile, I know that we are both going to be fine.

Erotica: Alex And Her Master- An NC Fantasy: Chapter 2

November 1, 2020 By J S Phoenix 2 Comments

woman tied to chair splashed with water — via stock.adobe.com

***all pieces of erotica are based on safe, sane, and consensual practices. We never condone anything that is NOT consensual.

Want to read chapter 1? Click here

From last time: Alex, the pretty blonde girl in the scoop-necked red dress, was taken from behind…

I’m being kidnapped!

A minute later, perhaps two, she felt the motion as the tow-truck drove away.

Alex squirmed to get comfortable. Her bound arms hurt no matter how she moved, and she couldn’t move much. She decided she’d be satisfied if she could simply become less uncomfortable.

Satisfaction eluded her, though. Soft tears trickled down her face, more from her reflections than the pain of her bonds. As the truck traveled further, she thought her bound limbs might grow numb.

No luck there, either.

The week’s events invaded her mind, forcing her, against her will, to relive the chain of events that brought her here. Trapped beyond hope, bound and gagged, stuffed into the trunk of her own car on this fateful Friday.

On Thursday night, he’d broken up with her. Crushed her heart with cruel words. And things only got worse after that. In keeping with management-manuals the world over, she’d learned at noon today, Friday, that she had lost her job. She’d left in tears upon receiving the news, unable to disguise her misery, forgetting entirely about cleaning out her desk. The fact that she had been handed a severance check meant that the firing had been more than days in planning, and all the while everyone had smiled at her as if nothing was amiss.

So Alex drove out to the old farm. She had no idea who owned the land, and it hadn’t been worked in years. Something about that old barn had intrigued her since she had been a little girl, and she often went there to think, to ponder. Today, to brood.

And, as it turned out, to be kidnapped.

More tears trickled down her cheek. She preferred tears to terror, and Alex felt near enough to terrified as it was.

Just as she thought she might get her nerves under control, the truck slowed, turned, and pulled to a stop. Alex had lost track of time. When the trunk popped open, she saw that the sun had gone down. Alex squirmed. Somehow her bonds hurt more now than at any time since her abduction.

He looked down into the trunk.

“Still nice and secure, I see,” he said with a slight smirk in his voice. “Have a good trip?”

Alex tried to glare at him, but her courage withered when she looked in his eyes. His stare transformed her into the proverbial headlight-frozen deer. He clicked a fob in his pocket; Alex heard a door open. He leaned down, picked her up as if she weighed nothing, and carried her to what she discovered was a rental van.

He laid her on the floor, securing her bound form to cargo hooks with straps, then pulled a safety net over her. Finally, he piled several shipping blankets over her.

“Don’t struggle. Just lie still, and you’ll be able to breathe.”

Alex struggled anyway. She wondered whether he was watching her as she writhed uselessly. When it became hard to breathe, she stopped fighting her bonds.

“I told you, girl. Don’t make me punish you.”

His words chilled her to her core; Alex shuddered.

Alex heard the van door close, and then her car starting. She feared being abandoned in this van … where the hell was she? More tears came as she realized that even if she could get loose, she almost certainly couldn’t escape.

She heard her car shut down, and then her captor entered the van.

To be continued…

Thanks for reading. If you’d like to read (non-serialized) stories I’ve written, please come visit: https://tinyurl.com/yycvsgr6

I’ve been writing erotica–niche adult fantasy (C/NC and N/C)–for the enjoyment of my readers for a number of years. My greatest reward comes from knowing the pleasure my words bring to my readers. If you want to let me know how you liked this story, feel free to drop me a line here: j.s.phoenix.1975@gmail.com

Simple Ideas for Playing with Male Bottoms

October 17, 2020 By Dame TylerRose. 4 Comments

mistress dominating male slave on leash — via stock.adobe.com

Creativity is one of the most important attributes I’ve seen common among sadists.

A checklist is great, but it doesn’t tell you how to actually DO things. When you’re new, the how of doing things is very important. First and foremost, the bottom and I go over my toy kit and *theirs*. We both agree on and set out items we want to use. One of the bottoms I play with sets out his items and understands that I will use what I choose to use.

What to do and how to do it:

Using the Leash for things OTHER than leading him around — The loop end of a leash can be used as very simple cock bondage, especially once he’s hard. Give it a tug whenever you want. A fabric leash can be pulled up a few inches and put into his mouth.

Tie the dick up with rope and attach a chain leash from collar to cock. Tap on the chain with a hard cane or wooden spoon. Slide a cane up and down it to send vibrations through the chain. Pull the chain up and to the side to position the cock however you want to move it out of the way when whipping the thighs with a quirt.

Wartenberg Wheels — I’ve found I’m very good with wartenberg wheels. Most people might use them for a few seconds and move on to something else. I turn them into a half hour scene in and of themselves. I run those things all over the body. Up and down the undersides of his arms (including armpits), over the shoulders, around the neck, down his sides, around his back/thighs/buttocks, and eventually over his cock and balls, down the inner thighs. Everywhere I can reach. I almost always use one in each hand, mirroring each other as they roll, and going into the more sensitive areas after he’s been warmed up for a few minutes.

If he likes clamps on the nipples, I’ll attach them after ten or fifteen minutes and run the wheels around his pectorals.

Clamps with weights — I do this very gently. Just buy 2oz, 4 oz (etc) sinkers from a tackle shop and S hooks to put on them. They hook very easily over clover clamps or the finger loops of forceps style clamps. Some like to have the clamps tapped. Gentle is enough. Minute increases in pain can be HUGE on the receiving end. People watching don’t think I’m doing much, but the bottom is all but dancing on his toes for me.

Clothespins can go anywhere on the body that you can pull up a pinch of skin. You don’t need to smack them off. I don’t do that unless it’s a special request of the bottom. Line up along the pectorals on both sides of the areola, leaving the nipples free. Tug, twist, tap to your heart’s content. Tap with the handle of a wooden spoon. Tease the nipples. Play them like a xylophone. lol When you take them off, the pec is then hyper-sensitive to do all those other things I mentioned.

Ball Gags – I don’t usually use them, as I want very clear communication during play. However, if a guy is making facial expressions I don’t care for, wagging his tongue out, or saying words I don’t want to hear, I will pick up his ball gag and plop it into his mouth. There’s no need to engage the buckle. I expect he understands that he’s to keep it in his mouth until I remove it.

Finger Nubbies – Anyone who’s worked in an office with lots of paper has seen little rubber finger tips for friction when sorting through paper. They are fantastic sensation toys, and don’t cost a lot. Put one on an index finger and thumb and you have a new way to tease and pinch.

Extra Hands – When I’ve got a guy cuffed to the X, I at once have an extra pair of hands to hold things for me. I’ll give him a flogger to hold until I need it, or the wartenberg wheels. It makes for a humorous visual for the people watching, and keeps him present. He can’t go completely into his own head because he has to keep enough focus to hold onto the object.

Cock and ball torture — Quantify what he means by CBT. Saying he doesn’t like it doesn’t explain what he doesn’t like. What is it that he doesn’t like? Grabbing and twisting? Okay. Don’t twist his dick. It’s as simple as that.

Pelvic Caning — Every dude who has agreed to have his cock/pelvic region caned has liked what I do. I don’t need to hit hard to get reactions…and those reactions are fairly obvious. I’ve not caned one to ejaculation yet, but a couple have gotten close. Mild tap tap tapping up and down the length of a flaccid cock quickly leads to an erection. I have a black cane that is fairly stiff but still a bit flexible. It bounces off the surface and isn’t as brutal as my fiberglass rods. I use a short motion with my hand, aiming for the surface and without follow-through. Don’t swing like you’re chopping down a tree. You’re not going for maximum impact, but surface sting and thud. He’s going to have bruising and will need to piss in the coming days, so less is more.

I whap a little harder on the meat of the area just above the cock. Front of the thighs, including the penis as it hangs, and you may find him leaning back to assist in getting the angle and strike zone he likes best.

I like to include the inner thighs as well, and the scrotum. Front or back doesn’t make much difference to me. Moderate whapping back and forth from thigh to thigh, zinging across the very bottom of the scrotum in the process, has been a favorite with the men. It gives them the sting and burn of an inner thigh caning with the surprise impact to the balls in both directions.

Don’t be too relentless, however. Five or six up strokes up high, then move the cane down or move to a different area entirely.

If the back is facing you — I’ve told each of them that if they stick it out, I’m gonna hit it. Every man at once angled himself to better present his balls. You can strike across both thighs and the scrotum at the same time. Again, don’t swing like you’re chopping down a tree. You don’t want to rupture a testicle.

Managing the Bottom – One of the most important aspects of play is knowing when to back off a moment and let the bottom catch his breath. You can’t go intense intense intense every second. Varying sensations between mild and intense, back to mild, up to moderate, down to mild, up to intense creates a rollercoaster ride of pleasures. Know when to pause for a moment and give him (and yourself) a drink. A scene including everything from above will easily last an hour or more. Pause two or three times for a drink and a breath. I always stop before they’re completely spent. Leave them wanting more rather than regretting going one minute too long.

Station Clean Up — I don’t play in private, so this is all happening at a party. One of us wipes down the station he was attached to. If he’s got some wits about him, he does it. If he’s too zonked, I do it. I clean and put away my stuff while he cleans and puts away his stuff, or puts away his stuff for later cleaning. Whatever. It’s his kit.

What about aftercare??? – I know, right? I totally worked hard. I deserve some after care. First, I’m going to sit and watch him attempt to put his clothes on. It’s most entertaining and satisfying, watching a grown man rendered down to a puddle of endorphic goo, incapable of dressing himself. It’s the best part.

Then I’ll tell him to give me a shoulder and arm massage. If we’re at a sex/SM combo party, I’ll go get laid with some other guy. I don’t have sex with the bottoms I play with.

I’ll follow up with Tylenol through the next day, and a nice warm shower, to ease sore muscles.

The bottom will do whatever it is that he does after he gets home. I’m sure masturbation will be part of his routine, but I could be wrong. I won’t be there for any of it.

What other people choose to do when they are finished is between them.

TylerRose. is known as Dame Tyler in the NYC public SM/Fetish scene. She is an award-winning author who has written three “lifestyle”, four cartoon, and over 25 fiction books.

Read her books on her Amazon page — https://www.amazon.com/TylerRose./e/B00HCPLSP2

You can also find more of her OP/ED work in Fetlife: https://fetlife.com/users/305828
Twitter — https://twitter.com/DameTyler or @DameTyler
FB Fan Page — https://www.facebook.com/TylerRoseGethis/

She enjoys crocheting and baking, and will no doubt die with a thesaurus open on her thigh.

Why I Don’t Use Fear As A Submissive Motivator

October 17, 2020 By Ms. Rika 2 Comments

handcuffs, sex on the bed — via stock.adobe.com

Yesterday, I was chatting with a dominant who was boasting about how he had put the “fear of God” into his submissive, so that she would never disobey him. He talked about a sequence of scenes that he created, whereby she was subjected to her worst fears. In fact, he was particularly proud of how the use of spiders, a phobia of hers, had made her wet herself in fear. He said that she is now perfectly behaved and responds immediately to his every demand – since she never wants to relive that experience.

The conversation turned my stomach, frankly. I know it’s a flavor of fantasy, but it struck me more as abuse than D/s. Still, it did get me thinking. In many circumstances, punishments are used to establish a baseline of fear in order to obtain compliance. I’ve often heard of the practice of punishing a new submissive before they’ve actually done anything wrong – as a means of showing them the consequences of misbehaving and establishing the fear of having to repeat the ordeal. This technique was even used in “Venus in Furs” upon the signature of the contract, where Wanda told Severin that he shall feel the bite of the whip, for no reason other than her whim – as a means of solidifying the agreement and establishing the cost of disobedience.

As I thought more about it, I found myself considering how I treat my submissives and comparing it to this technique. I have complete authority over them and can do anything I want to them. Sometimes I choose to cause them discomfort. Do they fear me? More importantly, do I WANT them to fear me?

I found my answers in the differentiation between ‘compliance’ and ‘submission’. Compliance is doing what you’re told; submission is dedicating yourself to the preferences of another. I concluded that, while there is no doubt that establishing fear is an effective technique for gaining compliance, it is not the best technique for gaining submission. I further concluded that, while I enjoy obedience from my submissives, I’m not interested in their BLIND obedience. I don’t want obedience to be their goal, I want it to be the byproduct of their goal. I don’t want them to please me by obeying me, I want them to obey me because they’re striving to please me. Certainly not doing what I want would not please me and would make my life more complicated. When the focus of the submissive is to be the best submissive that they can be, their motivation is to strive to deliver top-notch service. So, in order to serve me well, one of the things they’ll do, is to do what I want them to. What I know for sure, is that I don’t want them to obey me because they fear the consequences of not obeying me.

What’s wrong with fear-based motivation? I see a few key issues when you consider submission and not just compliance:

• The submissive finds themselves looking for “Outs” – ways to avoid the consequence. The goal is that they will avoid the consequence by complying with the request. However, if they can avoid the consequence more easily than complying with the demand, they will – because the motivation is all about the consequence and not about the request itself. The “Loophole” in the rule becomes a possibility…and then the dominant is forced to punish use of the loophole…and round you go.

• The submissive will comply only as much as is needed, to avoid the consequence. Most fear based victims will not attempt to exceed the ask. They will do the minimum to avoid the consequence. They also will not apply lessons learned to other requests. In other words, unless there is a specific consequence looming over another task – even one that’s similar to the known task – the submissive is not motivated to get the job done, as there’s no consequence attached to that item. The dominant is forced to establish a consequence for every action they wish to control.

• The onus of successful completion falls on the dominant! With fear-based motivation, the dominant must first establish a consequence that’s compelling enough to motivate the submissive. It must be something that can be actually delivered, as a sub will not be motivated unless the consequence is real. And it needs to be effective. Should the submissive NOT execute the demand, it is because the dominant did not establish a fearful enough consequence, did not consider a loophole, or didn’t apply a consequence to a particular outcome.

These three points establish obedience as the dominant’s responsibility to enforce. All the sub is doing is avoiding the consequence they fear. The dominant is busy creating maintaining, and delivering the consequences. That’s a lot of work and responsibility for the person who’s supposed to be the one being served!

Contrast this with a submissive who is motivated by their own inner desire to please and serve (and therefore, obey) their dominant:

• The dominant is only on the hook for communicating their preferences – then the submissive takes responsibility for delivering what the dominant wants. The onus of success is on the submissive.

• The submissive’s focus is on the results of obedience, not on obedience itself. If the sub completes the task, that pleases / serves the dominant – and there’s a successful exchange. The objective is to serve the dominant, not to follow orders.

• Submissives are much more likely to exceed the dominant’s immediate demand, in an effort to serve them even better. The better the sub gets in touch with the preferences of their unique dominant, the better the level of their service becomes.

While fear-based motivations are quick and don’t require a lot of communication to enact, they lack the depth of adjustment that submission-based discipline provides. In the short term, and for a specific task, fear-based may be more efficient, but ultimately, when the submissive is focused on the dominant’s satisfaction, rather than on themselves (avoiding their own discomfort), there is less work for the dominant – and the dominant is better served. This is because submissives are more apt to internalize the dominant’s preferences, and adjust ALL aspects of their behavior in accordance, rather than only a specific, penalizable action.

Personally, I haven’t needed to resort to fear-based motivations. I’m glad, because I really don’t want to. I have found that my submissives are quite capable of providing the self-discipline required to focus on my satisfaction. We are in a partnership, working together to help them provide the best possible service and to tune that service uniquely to me.

The Downside Of Demonstrating Submission

September 26, 2020 By Ms. Rika 2 Comments

This week, I was chatting with a submissive who had been dismissed from her mistress’ poly household because she was unable to control her jealousy and need for attention. Now, almost a year later, she has returned asking for forgiveness and swearing that she’s changed.

I correspond with the mistress fairly frequently. In the past, she has shared the issues with this particular submissive, and last year, I provided a sounding board when she was torn about dismissing this submissive. I got good insight into the types of challenges that they were facing and saw how the submissive was creating an intolerable situation; being demanding and emotionally taxing. Dismissal was appropriate. Now, the submissive is begging to come back and promising great change. As is the tendency in these cases, my friend seems to have forgotten the problems of the past and wants to believe that the submissive has changed her ways. The submissive reached out to me, feeling the need to tell me how she’s changed and how “things will be different this time” and how she “will show the dominant how much she’s changed”.

I have the luxury of being emotionally detached from the situation – and so my memory serves me a bit better than that of my friend. I’m a believer in adjustment and in lessons learned – which this submissive has clearly experienced – but the way she worded her intent made me skeptical that change is possible.

At the root of my doubt is an issue that’s very common among sub-centric submissives; the notion that they can “demonstrate submission”.

Demonstrating submission is a sub-centric activity. It may not seem that way at first, because the stated objective is to show how good their submission is, but “demonstrating something” is an action that requires that the one to whom the demonstration is given, observe and acknowledge the performer. The focus of attention during a demonstration is on the demonstrator.

This feeds the sub-centric psyche. The focus of attention is on them. They are the performer. They are being watched and judged. The dominant is forced into the position of having to “write the review” of the performance – and determine if the show stays open. Even though the sub’s actions are stated to be for the dominant, their actual intent is self-serving.

Imagine what’s going to happen if the dominant is preoccupied with something (or someone) else while the submissive is trying to demonstrate their improved submission. What if the dominant is just not paying attention at that point and time? Will the sub feel that their efforts are being neglected or ignored? Should the sub wait until the dominant is paying attention to demonstrate their submission? That wouldn’t be very good submission, would it?

I’m not saying that subs shouldn’t get feedback. All subs are entitled to get feedback. They have no other way to improve their submission. For those of you who’ve read my books, you will remember CERAF, the acronym that stands for what I consider to the be the primary responsibility of a dominant: Communication, Expectation, Recognition”, “Assessment” and “Feedback”. The last three steps are all

about seeing the sub’s efforts, assessing them, and providing the feedback to help them improve. How does “RAF” differ from a sub trying to demonstrate their submission?

The difference is in “Demand”. It’s one thing to want to be the best submissive you can be – internalize your dominant’s expectations and use their assessment and feedback to make adjustments – it’s completely another to make the intent of your actions to force acknowledgement of them. The intent of a good submissive is to serve the dominant – and internalizing feedback and making adjustments are the best ways to reach that objective. But when the intent is to force acknowledgement, to PROVE something to the dominant, to get the dominant to admit that improvement – that’s when it becomes manipulation and self-centered behavior.

Submission is a commitment that you make; a dedication to a dominant. Your focus is on the dominant – their expectations, their preferences, and their desires. Submission is “good” when the dominant feels that it’s good. The dominant doesn’t need to be “Shown” how good submission is – we feel it. A good dominant will provide that feedback at appropriate times and on their own schedule, but not because it’s demanded in order to confirm the submissive’s objective.

A exaggerated example, to demonstrate the difference, can be seen in this tale of two submissives, tasked to clean a bathroom:

Submissive #1 Cleans the bathroom. Does the very best job they can and heads on to do their next chore. The dominant eventually uses the bathroom and calls the sub in an says, “Nice job, but next time be sure to wash the tops of my makeup and cold cream containers”. The sub notes that so they can do it the next time.

Submissive #2 Says, “Thank you Goddess…I’m going to clean the bathroom and I’m going to make it SPARKLE! You’ll see”. The sub cleans the bathroom and then seeks out the dominant. “Would you like to inspect my work?” If the dominant is not interested in inspecting the work, submissive #2 sulks, until, eventually the dominant relents and inspects the work. Submissive #2 is anxiously awaiting acknowledgment that the dominant sees how good a job they did. The fact that cold cream container cover is not cleaned becomes an issue that submissive #2 interprets as a failure to demonstrate their improved submission. The dominant, feeling this pressure, might even not mention the cold cream container – just to avoid the emotional tumult.

OK…that’s an exaggerated scenario – but it highlights the underlying intents…and whether they’re as blatant as this example or not, they are FELT.

Being the audience of a demonstration demands attention. Being the presenter adds pressure and makes criticism personal. Dominants need to provide feedback and submissives need to listen, internalize, and adjust – but an intent to serve must not manipulate a dominant. Don’t demonstrate your submission – just submit.

Ms. Rika is a lifestyle dominant, educator, and author; living in the suburbs of NYC with her husband/slave. She has written several popular books on her approach to adding Dominant-Centric, Service-Oriented D/s to relationships. You can find her books (in both print and eBook formats) at Lulu.com (http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/msrika), or at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, the iStore, Books-A- Million, Kobo.com, or anywhere books are sold. Search for “Ms. Rika”. Write to me at Ms_Rika@hotmail.com

Dominance vs. Leadership

September 19, 2020 By Ms. Rika 3 Comments

latex, kitten, bdsm play — via stock.adobe.com

There is a lot of discussion regarding the concept of “Leadership” in D/s circles. However, the terms “Leadership” and “Dominance” are often confused. In many cases, dominance and leadership are linked and, in some cases, used interchangeably. I see a definitive difference between the two characteristics and point out that, while it may be true that many dominants are leaders – and leaders are dominants, there many people who are one, but not the other.

The basis for the differentiation comes directly from their definitions:

Leadership (from Forbes magazine): is a process of social influence, which maximizes the efforts of others, towards the achievement of a goal.

Dominance (from the Oxford Dictionary): Control; authority; rule; supreme influence.

The key differentiators are Control and Authority. Notice that leadership stems from social influence, not authority or power. Leadership requires others, and that implies they don’t need to be serving the leader directly. In the case of a D/s relationship, the submissive commits to serve the dominant and gives the dominant the authority in the relationship. They are yielding control to the dominant, who is given the right of expectation to expect and demand fulfillment of their wishes. Leaders do not have right to such an expectation.

I think it’s true that there are natural leaders who are also dominant. I tend to think I’m one of them. However, many of the subs I’ve met, including my husband, have been leaders outside of their relationship with me. Natural leaders in their fields, natural leaders on teams, natural leaders in their endeavors…but in their personal relationships, they exposed their (also natural) submissive side. We all know of the stereotype wherein a powerful executive chooses to be the slave of a dominant. While I’ve argued that this is more driven by a desire for regression, and that, in the majority of cases, the executives are actually LEADING the relationship through the use of their wallet and are really only bottoming for their own pleasure, I also know of many cases where people in leadership positions, choose to fully submit within their personal relationships as well.

I also know dominants who are not particularly good leaders. Either through a lack of desire to lead, or through a lack of the skills necessary to influence without the need of authority. They may be awesome, loved dominants – but you wouldn’t want to follow them into battle!

This leads me to conclude that we always need to consider an individual’s natural leadership potential within the context of a relationship type. As I have pointed out in my books and prior articles, there are many relationships types…not all romantic; not all deeply personal. I believe you can be naturally disposed within the context of one relationship type – and differently across other relationship types.

Taking it up a level of abstraction, there are the relationship types surrounding groups of people and common goals (think CEO, Team Captain, Project Manager) – I know, and know of, many great leaders who lead with the intent to accomplish something – organizing others to achieve a common goal.

Then there is the context within relationship types between two people and the dynamics of their attraction – The leadership in this area presents far differently and can have many flavors of the types of dominance and submission discussed here. It seems to me that SOME people have both types of leadership – but it’s perfectly possible, and even prevalent, to have a dominant leadership style in one context and a submissive style in another.

One place where leadership and dominance tend to be erroneously conflated, is in discussions of “FLRs” – “Female Led Relationships”. Very often, FLRs are used interchangeably with relationships where the female is dominant. I hope by now it’s clear that these really aren’t the same thing. The 1950’s, “MLR” equivalent, was the “typical” household represented by the “Dick Van Dyke” show. For those of you young-ins who never saw it, YouTube it: Great writing, good comedy, and loveable characters – but I digress. In this typical 1950s house, Robert Petrie ran his home and was clearly the “leader”, but there is no way he dominated Laura Petrie! In fact, it would not surprise me, in the least, to discover him suckling on the heel of her shoe behind closed doors (right behind a lot of submissive guys I’ve met, who loved her)!

Even though it may be true that many dominant women also lead their households, it is not a given that every FLR is a D/s relationship. Every “follower” is not a submissive. There are different INTENTS (my favorite word) to following than there is to submitting. You might follow as a convenience, or as a means to avoid doing something you find unpleasant or difficult for you. Many dominants delegate decisions to their submissives – and follow their lead – in areas where the submissive is just better at the task than the dominant, or that the dominant just isn’t interested in leading. That doesn’t make them any less dominant. You can never tell intent by looking…you need to understand the individuals, the context, and the motivations.

Ms. Rika is a lifestyle dominant, educator, and author; living in the suburbs of NYC with her husband/slave. She has written several popular books on her approach to adding Dominant-Centric, Service-Oriented D/s to relationships. You can find her books (in both print and eBook formats) at Lulu.com (http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/msrika), or at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, the iStore, Books-A- Million, Kobo.com, or anywhere books are sold. Search for “Ms. Rika”. Write to me at Ms_Rika@hotmail.com

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