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Event Review: Lovely Fate Play Party

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July 2, 2017

Lovely Fate… My new favorite play party in Los Angeles… everything I never knew I wanted in a kink event.

I recently had the pleasure of attending Lovely Fate. For those who haven’t heard of it, Lovely Fate is a new series of curated play parties in Los Angeles.

I have been to many kinky events around the country and the world. I have to say that this could be the best event I have been to so far. Founded by a group of friends from the LA kink scene, they told me they were tired of the same old events, and set out to create the ultimate play party – the kind they had hoped existed when they first entered the scene. The result – at least based on the one event I attended – is impressive.

According to the web site, Lovely Fate aims for “sensory joy and intrigue”. Having had no idea what on earth this meant, as I entered the party I felt like I began to understand. Music, visual elements, smells and taste have apparently been carefully choreographed to arouse and intoxicate guests. As for touch – there are plenty of opportunities to participate as a dominant or submissive (top or bottom?) either in featured interactive scenes or in negotiated play with other guests. But before you think of wooden, rehearsed stage shows, think again. Instead, imagine experienced kinksters invited to perform their most intimate, creative and real BDSM scenes in weird, wonderful and alluring surrounds. These are a kind of aperitif to get the party started before many guests enjoy scenes of their own.

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Erotic shibari? Check. Teasing and torturous endurance bondage? Check. Predicaments, slave training, sensory deprivation? Check, check, check. I’ve noticed that many play parties are dominated (!) by impact play. And while that can certainly be found here, I was impressed by the breadth of variety on display.

After my ticket was checked, a pretty young thing greeted me and introduced herself. She then beckoned for me to follow and lead me (and my date) down a hallway and through a dark curtain. A deep, dark melody filled the air my eyes adjusted to the dimly lit room. In almost a whisper, our lovely escort invited me to “choose my fate” and gestured to several small silver statues on a table. I worked out that each represented a BDSM role. Being a bisexual Rope Bunny Switch with a sadistic streak, I am not easily categorized (other than just “kinky as fuck”). But I was feeling a Toppy that evening, so I went for the small figurine of what appeared to be a badass Dominatrix. Our new friend grinned wickedly and brought me through another curtain to reveal a larger room where some other guests were gathered and a variety of scenes were unfolding. On one table, a girl tied in a gote chest harness, with a devious man tormenting her tits mercilessly. In a corner, a cage confined a naked feminine figure who gazed back at me. And across the room, a pair of male slaves knelt at the feet of two latex-clad dominas. This is where I was led, and immediately invited to join in on the fun. I should clarify that I was asked at check-in if I wanted to participate – many guests were generally watching and socializing and there was no expectation that I had to play right away (or at all).

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The event was so unique, that is difficult to categorize. The best way I can describe it is sex party meets upscale BDSM play party combined with elements of interactive theatre. A great deal of creativity and attention to detail has gone into all aspects of the event, with the apparent goals of creating an environment that is classy and enchanting, but unmistakably centered in sexuality and kink.

What stood out to me most of all were the people attending this event. While there was a spectrum of skill and experience in BDSM present, everyone I encountered was friendly and welcoming. While there were plenty of attractive people, it wasn’t so over the top as to be intimidating (like you might find at certain high end swinger events in LA). Whether they were dominants, submissives, masters or slaves, these were simply fun, kinky people who wanted to be there to have a good time.

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Curious about why this vibe seemed different to many other play parties, I asked around. Lovely Fate is a membership club – to attend you have to either be a member or be invited to attend (as I was). The original members were friends of the founders, and they are a little selective about who joins. Apparently not to exclude any particular type of person – but more to preserve the friendly, welcoming and non-judgmental feel. Disclosure: yes, I applied to become a member following the event. So it’s entirely possible I’m subconsciously over-praising this event in this write up so they let me join!

Awesome, kinky fun – the next one is coming up next Saturday… info on how to attend can be found on their web site here.

-Laila

Be Cool

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03_kimber_fox__sabra_johnsinKimber Fox and Sabr A Johnsin shot by Danny Stygion

In the tradition of my last two articles, I will again tackle a submitted BDSM question that I think is important to answer. This was sent to me via email. So, let’s go!

“I’m new to the lifestyle, and am not even sure whether I’m a Top or bottom! I’ve been invited to a play party by a friend, but since I’ve never played even privately before, I’m terrified. I’m scared there might be pressure on me to play. If I don’t play, I don’t want to look like a fool… But how can I pass up the opportunity to go?! I’m caught between a rock and a hard place. Can you help?”

You say you are new to the lifestyle. Since everyone was a newbie once (including me!), this is common to all lifestylers. What is uncommon is the speed at which you have managed to wrangle a play party invitation. My first invite to a dungeon came after I had played for a while and gotten around a bit. Your situation is like being allowed to pass through the velvet ropes at a celebrity party on your first visit to a city. It happens, but it is not the typical situation. Thus, it is only natural that you would have some trepidation about your first appearance at a BDSM play party.

The best advice I can give you has nothing to do with BDSM, the lifestyle or your “newbie-ness.” (Is that a word?) It is, simply, “Be cool.” It is very easy to be cool in this type of situation. A play party is the perfect setting for “instant coolness.” First of all, everyone there is self-involved. They have their own concerns to worry about, not yours. They are caught up in setting up their scenes, worrying about whether they brought the right toys and wondering whether a specific type of BDSM equipment is going to be available to them. Is their scene going to work out as planned; are they dressed right? Basically, every concern that performers ruminate about is at the center of their universe for that night. Surely, your “virgin status” is scarcely a concern of theirs. Unless, of course, you violate basic play party or dungeon (if it is at a dungeon) etiquette, which is:

  • If you are watching a scene, never make a comment that can be heard by the participants. If you must talk, thing “golf!

 

  • Don’t interrupt a scene and never enter the players’ “scene space.”  Watch the scene from a comfortable distance and save all your comments until later.  Keep in mind that a submissive can be bounced out of subspace by noise, comments, laughter, etc.  

 

  • Be respectful. Or, more simply, be cool!  

In any BDSM dungeon or play party, there is never any pressure to play. This is not like a used car dealership where they hate it when you are “just looking.” The lifestylers who play publicly want to be watched; they are exhibitionists. Without an audience, they might as well play at home. Thus, your watching – and only watching – is encouraged. If someone asks you if you want to play, a simple “no thank you” will suffice. Just hang around, observe, and enjoy the show. Again, just be cool.

Finally, if you want to eliminate any remaining worries with respect to your “de-virgination,” dress the part. If you are a female, wear fetish style clothes. If you are a male, dress in black. In either case, don’t go overboard; wearing handcuffs and chains will make you look lame – especially as you are a newbie! Look like you belong but don’t over compensate. In other words, look cool!

If you use this approach, you will have no problems. There will be absolutely nothing to fear. You can learn more at a play party in one night than you can in a month of reading about the lifestyle. You will be in the best place to watch, observe and pick up on diverse real-life BDSM play styles. As the great sage Yogi Berra (who’s he?) once said, “You can observe a lot just by watching.”

About the Author:

After a ten year run as head writer for the legendary bondage.com, and an equally long run as the host of the hit internet show “Baadmaster’s Dungeon,” we are pleased to welcome the one and only Baadmaster to KinkWeekly. His thoughts about all things BDSM will now appear regularly on these pages. From the mental aspects of D/s to the nuts and bolts of S&M play, Baadmaster will cover every facet of this ever expanding lifestyle.

Beginner’s Corner: What Am I?

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Everyone was a beginner once. And in order to welcome newbies into our community, I will, from time to time, write articles aimed at those who are entering the lifestyle. Like this one!

I recently received a question that stated a newbie was intrigued by the lifestyle, but had no idea what she was – Domme, sub or switch. Or something else! By the question, it is clear that she was unsure what she wanted to be in BDSM. You might say she was asking, “Who am I?”

Often, it is hard for newbies to predict where they will land in the BDSM spectrum. So, my first piece of advice is to follow BaadMaster’s patented three-step formula (sounds impressive, huh?) for finding out about where one lies in the BDSM continuum.

Step 1: Get in touch with what you really want.

As I said many times here on kinkweekly.com, be honest with yourself. Clear your mind and think of what really turns you on – no matter how extreme it might be. One way to find this out is to peruse the BDSM checklists that are included in many of my articles. (Plug, plug!) They will give you an idea of the range of play and will help you focus on what you want — and what you don’t want.

Step 2: Go to a play party and just observe.

Since being a voyeur is an accepted kink, there is nothing wrong in just observing. You might see some type of play that you hadn’t thought of – like rope bondage – which might turn you on. As the twentieth century philosopher, Yogi Berra, said, “You can observe a lot just by watching!”

Step 3: Explore Your BDSM Fantasies.

If you have BDSM fantasies – and I am sure you do — decide which among these fantasies you would actually do. There is a big difference between thinking something is exciting and actually doing it. Thus, you must make a realistic appraisal of those activities that will attempt – and those you simply won’t do.

For example, a very popular BDSM fantasy is to own a sex slave. If that turns you on, tell any prospective play partner, straight up, that you are looking for a sex slave. Don’t lie and say you are an experienced Domme, but rather look for someone who is into learning with you. If you fantasize about subbing, look for a Dom/me who might give you some real time experience in subbing. The object is to find out not only what excites you, but also what areas you have a natural aptitude for.

At this point, you are simply trying to learn; you should not concern yourself with labels. However, if one label does apply, it is newbie. But fret not; as I said in the opening paragraph, everyone was a newbie once. Experience will teach you whether you are a Dom, sub or switch – and not some abstract idea of what you want to be.

In the era that predated our current Internet age, there existed a group of loosely affiliated leather groups that came to be known as the Old Guard Leather Societies. Although much is lost to history, legend is that they had a precept that, “You cannot become a Master or a Top without having been a slave or a bottom.”  Using this precept, you can try both Topping and bottoming; the Old Guard would be proud of you!

Whether you become a Dominant or a submissive, you will be better for the experience. If you wind up a switch, you will be an experienced one. Not a bad start, I must say!

By BaadMaster
After a ten year run as head writer for the legendary bondage.com, and an equally long run as the host of the hit internet show “Baadmaster’s Dungeon,” we are pleased to welcome the one and only Baadmaster to KinkWeekly. His thoughts about all things BDSM will now appear regularly on these pages. From the mental aspects of D/s to the nuts and bolts of S&M play, Baadmaster will cover every facet of this ever expanding lifestyle.

My First Play Party

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I get asked by friends all the time, “Jenn, don’t you get tired of teaching the same basic stuff over and over?”

To that I say no.  The reason I don’t get tired of what I do is for many reasons.  I am giving info and providing opportunities that I wished I’d had when I was new, seeing people discover new things makes my heart super happy, and staying in touch with new folks week after week keeps me in touch with when I was new.  I think it’s important to remember what that was like – otherwise it’s easy to become jaded, frustrated and even judgmental.  What becomes second nature or common knowledge to us is often foreign to a new person.  There is a learning curve here.

So having said all that I wanted to go back to my first ever public play party.

When I started in the scene I went to classes and munches and spent much of my time in the rope world and the spanko world.  I got involved with a spanko group (which still exists) that, at that time, consisted of private parties in the group leader’s residence. Then one of the members of that group hosted a spanko party at a dungeon.  I decided this would be a safe entry into the dungeon play party world because at least I would know a few people.  This party happened to be held at a well-known dungeon in North Orange County here in SoCal.

I pulled into the parking lot in my family size SUV and I just sat there for a while.  The address I punched into my Garmin took me to an industrial business type building so I had to double check my GPS like 25 times to make sure I wasn’t in the wrong place.  Then I noticed people starting to arrive.  I scoured their clothing and noticed that most of the women were wearing things like sundresses or flowy knee length skirts!  I panicked.  I looked down at my tight denim mini skirt and 6 inch stilettos and I immediately doubted my choice of outfit!  Would I stand out like a sore thumb?  Had I worn the wrong thing? Before I let myself give in to the panic and just drive home, I decided to text the one person who I knew was at the party and that I actually had a number for.  (It happened to be the leader of the group at the time.)  I told him I was parked outside and afraid I’d dressed inappropriately.  I asked him to please come out to my car and tell me if I was right.  (yes, he was nice enough to leave the party and come out to calm my fears)  He laughed on his way to the car, shaking his head, and once he saw my outfit he assured me I would be completely ok. He walked me in and we went inside to where the party was happening.

The first thing I did was make a friend – a cute girl in pigtails and a cheerleading outfit – because at least she was another person not in a casual sundress!  She and I sat and hung out and I realized that there was a reason for all those sundresses and flowy skirts.  This was a spanko party and they were easy to flip up!!  Lol  Oh was I relieved!  It wasn’t about a dress code or what outfit was appropriate, it was just easier access for what they were there to do!

After that realization I relaxed, met more people, including some from a class I’d been in a couple weeks before, and had a good time.  There is more to the story but I covered the point of this article.  Your first public play party can be scary and overwhelming.  It’s ok to admit that and to reach out to a friendly face.  It’s also good for veterans of the scene to remember this if you are the one they reach out to!

Jennifer Masri is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, specializing in Alternative Lifestyles for individual and relationship issues. She also teaches the BDSM 101 class series at Sanctuary LAX in Los Angeles every Monday evening. Read more about Jennifer on her blog, A Kink Shrink.

How to Host Your Own Play Party

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You don’t have to be an event planner extraordinaire in order to throw your own play party. With a little organization and preparation, you can gather your favorite folks together for a fun night of safe, kinky fun. The following tips will help you get started.

Create a guest list

You’ll have to jot down a list of all the people you’d be interested in having over to your home. Allowing people to play in your personal home is extremely intimate and involves a certain level of trust. Make sure these are people you are at least slightly familiar with and who will respect your home. Make sure to have a good ratio. This doesn’t necessarily mean equal men to women (and every other orientation) but rather will there be enough Tops vs. bottoms? Did you invite four Dominatrixes but only have two potential play partners for them? A lot of times people come in couples and that’s fine, just be cognizant of who ends up RSVPing so you’ll be prepared to entertain in other ways.

Consider using an online invite

Depending on the size of your party, it might be easier to invite people through an online invite such as evite.com or a private Facebook invite. This will be more organized than a giant group text or chasing everyone via individual texts. If technology is not your style, then by all means go the old fashioned way of calling people. The online invite will just give you a step by step way to view who is coming. Also make it clear in your invite if people are allowed to bring guests. If you only want folks you know personally to attend, this will prevent any awkward unexpected (and uninvited) guests.

Consider the size of your space

How many people can comfortably fit in your home/apartment? Now consider how many people can comfortably play in your home/apartment. In Los Angeles at least, there’s the old saying that you should invite twice as many people as you would like to come since only half of the RSVPs will show up. So if your space can hold 25 people, invite around 35 to be on the safe side. In my experience, there are ALWAYS people who will bail last minute. It’s an unfortunate reality, but you’d rather plan for more and have just the right amount.

Set a list of house rules

You cannot just assume everyone coming will know proper BDSM etiquette or rather, the etiquette for a party in your home. Do you want people doing a needle play scene on your couch for example? Is wax play on your new carpet going to fly? Perhaps you don’t want a flogging scene in your daughter’s (who is away at her friend’s house) room? Post the rules in the invite and also post signs letting people know if certain rooms are off limits. If possible, just lock the doors so there is no confusion. I always make sure to let guests know if penetration is ok. If so, you need to be prepared with extra trashcans, condoms, and towels. While it’s difficult to think of every scenario, I always try to cover things like edge play (fire, blood, needles, knives), penetration, wax, golden showers, single tails (are your ceilings high enough? Will the whip accidentally break something?), and noise levels. If you live in an apartment, perhaps you can encourage Dominants with loud submissives to gag them, haha. Since it’s your party, you make the rules. Don’t be afraid to remind guests of the rules if you find them breaking them. It’s your home.

Provide refreshments

Or ask guests to bring something to contribute. Water is the number one necessity at any play party followed closely by food or snacks. It’s important to let guests know if there will be a full dinner served or just snacks so people don’t arrive ready to play hungry. While I have served alcohol at past play parties, many kinksters strongly believe in playing sober. This is a sensitive and highly debated topic but it’s entirely up to you of course. I personally like to follow the rule that drinking while playing is ok but being drunk while playing is not. If you have alcohol, make sure you have something substantial for people to munch on throughout the night.

Be a social butterfly

Keep an eye on your guests. If someone is standing alone, engage them in conversation and make introductions. To me this lifestlye is all about inclusion which means making everyone you’ve invited feel included! You can also do yourself some favors by inviting some extroverts to the party to help you out.

Offer defined play stations/areas and set the mood

Not everyone’s house is a fully equipped dungeon but more power to you if yours is and can I please come over?! 😉 Consider the different areas of your home/apartment and set them up in a way that would be hospitable to play. Removed objects or decorative things that you don’t want to get broken or damaged. Don’t want someone getting a spanking in grandmother’s antique rocking chair? Put it away in an off limits room. If possible, dim the lighting or trade out some bulbs to a softer glow or color. Put on some music for background noise.

There should also be a clear “socialization” area for people to sit and watch/relax. This can even be a few chairs or couch along the perimeter of the room. Also, be prepared to accommodate (or not) smokers or having a smoking area or a sign to tell people to go outside if you so wish.

Be prepared to get the night started

Private play parties can get awkward really fast if the socialization aspect lingers on too long. As the host, you should be prepared to get the party started! Or if you want to be in attendance to the guests, plan on having some close friends get the play started with a planned scene. It only takes one spanking to break the ice and others will be soon to follow.

Plan an end time…unless you want people potentially staying all night and if you do that’s fine! But planning an end time will eliminate potential resentments over guests overstaying their welcome.

I hope these tips will help you newbie party planners out there. Did I forget anything major to planning a play party? What are your best practices for hosting an in home play party? Let me know in the comments!

anniebear is a submissive living in Los Angeles. She enjoys writing, modeling for friends, animal rescue, and teaching herself how to cook. You can catch her on Fetlife or Facebook.

Event Review: The Hollywood Academy for Wayward Boys & Girls

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The Hollywood Academy for Wayward Boys & Girls opened its doors at North Hollywood’s BDSM club Lair de Sade last weekend for its Spring Session. New students flocked to their doors, with plaid skirts and sharpened pencils – ready for a day of learning and surely a bit of discipline. All students had previously registered online to ensure their admittance, read through and agreed to the Academy’s structure and curriculum, and had been properly vetted.

A school role-play scenario has always topped my list of kinky interests. Everything about it excites me – the wardrobe, writing on the chalkboard, flirting with the Professors, being sent to the Principal’s office, being humiliated in front of my peers… So when I first stumbled across the event page for The Hollywood Academy for Wayward Boys & Girls, I’m not sure I could’ve been any more excited. I quickly registered, and signed Daddy up to be a voyeur as all “Top” positions were already fulfilled. I listed my interests and hard limits, expressed my enthusiasm, and hoped for the best! I received a warm reply from the event’s organizer, confirming all necessary details and welcoming me to the Academy.

I was oddly nervous the day of the event. It was at a space I was familiar with, Daddy would be with me, and I knew limits and consent would be established – so I had no fears of being ‘thrown to the wolves,’ but the nerves still persisted. I dressed up in my ‘schoolgirl best,’ opting for an outfit substantially more “little” and less “Catholic school girl” as it was how I was feeling that morning. I smoothed my black skirt, adjusted my pink stockings, double checked my pigtails and pink bows, and willed my black Mary Jane shoes to carry me throughout this day. I grabbed my kitty tote bag and Daddy’s hand and walked through the door.

I stopped at the Registration Desk to complete my necessary paperwork (your usual consent and event liability forms), pay my tuition, get a nametag, and meet Principal Charles. He welcomed me to the Academy by name, recognizing me from my online application (aka: my Fet profile). Principal Charles gave me a brief outline of the day, welcomed Daddy, and invited us to head inside to relax before classes started.
We sat down with a few people we knew from the local community, and chatted with a few faces we didn’t recognize. I noted that most of the girls were in plaid skirts and crisp white button-up shirts, and quickly picked out whom I presumed was the Academy’s “troublemaker” from his all black attire, leather fingerless gloves, and hacky sack. Everyone seemed to know each other – my insecurities over being “the new girl” were in full force! I resolved to myself to be on my best behavior, make Daddy proud, and enjoy the day.

Principal Charles called school to order, and we all gathered in a room to be seated and await instructions. He explained the outline of the day, including our class schedule and how disciplinary actions would be managed and carried out. We were introduced to the professors, the Vice Principal, the student teacher, and the school nurse. Principal Charles then asked everyone to take out a pen and a piece of paper. I froze in panic, as I had a pen with me – but no paper! My flustered face met similar looks across the room, as well as disapproval from the Principal. He told all of us who were unprepared to stand, and come to the front of the class. We were all to be punished for coming to class without needed supplies. I was horrified! How could I have not thought of this?! I mean, I had snacks and my coloring book and markers for recess and after school – but no paper?! I was humiliated to be bent over in front of everyone and spanked, but I took my strokes without complaint. The others were disciplined in similar fashion, and then classes were to begin.

Our first class was math. Our poor Professor – he just didn’t know what was coming. A room full of kinky, rowdy, possibly horny students… It wasn’t a minute after Principal Charles walked out that the paper airplanes started flying, the notes were being passed, and general misbehavior was ensuing. Our basic lesson of Pi and Algebra were interrupted by bratty outbursts and crumpled papers being thrown across the class. Each offense was met with a Discipline Form, and soon half our class was in the throes of punishment. I defended myself against false accusations from the louder students, and giggled as I watched girls come back from the Principal’s office and wince as they sat on their wooden chairs.

We attended one more class with in which the antics persisted, but the Professor was slightly more successful in delivering his lesson. We then broke for recess, and I nearly skipped to go sit with Daddy and his friends. They had been sitting around a table watching the hilarity over the last hour, smoking cigars, and catching with up with each other. Daddy greeted me with a kiss, asked how my day was, and offered me some of his cigar. I smiled and warmly accepted, chatting about my day. Within 2 minutes, a stern “Young lady! Are you smoking on campus?” came from behind me and my eyes went wide. I was caught! I was grabbed by the arm and taken to the Principal’s Office, with Daddy smirking as I walked away – he had set the whole thing up as I was behaving “too good” all day! I filled out my Discipline Form, and received my strokes. I left the office to a chorus of “oooooooh’s” from my peers, and questions as to how “the good girl” got in trouble at recess. “Smoking on campus!” I spat back, shocking them all, and returning with a scowl to Daddy’s side. We shared a laugh as it was all in good fun.

Principal Charles announced recess was over, and we all shuffled back to class. Our 3rd class was English – taught by a ‘real life’ English teacher. I’ve never seen so many previously mischievous students furiously start taking notes! We knew there was a Final Exam at the end of the day, and all of these parts of speech and phrases seemed like just the sort of thing to be on it! The class was not entirely well-behaved though, as the boy I previously labeled a ‘trouble maker’ sat through nearly the entire class with his hacky sack in his mouth – at the demand of the Vice Principal. English was soon over, and we headed to Wood Shop – which we soon realized was Paddles:101. It was a surprisingly informative time spent learning about different types of wood, their sounds upon impact, and how their impact felt. Principal Charles popped into the class and informed the Professor that “a students Father just called, requesting a special instruction on the differences between ‘thuddy’ and ‘stingy’” – Of course, that student was me. I threw on my full ‘brat,’ stomping and pouting to the front of the classroom. I was paddled by every implement he had until I could distinguish the woods from their sound and bite alone, as well as determining my favorite. I walked back to my seat, and flashed Daddy a sarcastic “Thanks Daddy!” as he had joined in the room to watch the demonstration.

It was now time for our Final Exam, and we were all ushered back to the main classroom. We were given 5 questions and 1 bonus question, and we all wrote down our answers. Well, some students just doodled – there was lots of doodling the entire day. I was thrilled that I had paid attention, and beamed when I got all 6 questions correct. Myself and one other student were rewarded with “good girl spankings” from a wicked acrylic paddle, and then got to watch in amusement as the reprimands got increasingly worse as the Exam scores declined. I secretly wished I’d gotten just 1 wrong – I’d finally started to relax into the ‘role play’ of everything and yearned for a little chastisement! We exited class for the day, and I knew I had to invite my friends to study at the next Academy!

I had the pleasure of sitting down with Principal Charles after the class activities had commenced (some students required additional discipline) to learn more about the Academy, as well as the group he runs. We were joined by the student teacher, Naughty, who is his lovely wife.

Thank you both for such an awesome day – I didn’t know what to expect, but all of this was just great! Tell me about this group that you run, and how today’s event came about.

Charles: We took over the group almost 4 years ago now, from the original founder who ran it for a number of years out of his house. We moved it to the Lair de Sade when attendance started to get to be too big to be held in a house. When we took over the group, every September we would have a ‘school girl party’ – “Back To School” or so we called it. It was always one of the most heavily attended events that we had. So we said, “You know, people really seem to like this!” Both my wife and I attended some other parties – they had an academy and they ran it for several hours. They have teachers, classes being taught, a curriculum, you have to register, you go to different classes at different times. We thought, “Hey, that’s a great idea! It’s fun! We could probably do this at our local parties.” So first – we totally stole the idea. But we recognize that it’s a big trigger for a lot of people; it’s a scenario that people like. And so we’re running them now about once a quarter. On the other months, we still run our normal play parties, which are a typical open-play kind of parties.

Got it. Your first party – was it strictly a ‘school girl’ dress-up type party or did you have some type of structure to it?

Charles: The first one that we did was exactly as you saw today. Structured, we had teachers, we had classes – we had probably too many classes, it went a little longer. So that’s why we’re pairing it down and giving the attendees time for break or “recess” as we call it. We do try to get the students to move from one end of the space to the other and back so it feels like school. It’d be great if we actually had desks and things like that, maybe someday we’ll find an area where we can do that

So in addition to cutting down the number of classes, what have you learned from your first party to this party? Perhaps the pros/cons of those first ones versus today’s event?

Naughty: I would say the flow as far as making sure its consensual, but yet still trying to have it in a school setting. So making sure the students fill out the punishment slip and knowing what their limits are and what they want – it was a little haphazard in the first class today as far as the flow of it and figuring out how to set it up. So now its gotten more seamless as far as getting the consent, knowing what they can take, and implementing it.

Got it. I can definitely see how it’s a lot to organize and manage! So is the Hollywood Academy for Wayward Boys & Girls, this role play type event all your group does? Or is it more?

Charles: We are the Hollywood Spanking Plus Group – that’s the actual group. We run these parties about once every 3 months or so, and then the other months we run just a normal play party. We are Spanking “Plus” because we have gone beyond just spanking because people are into BDSM – I mean, we’ve always been into BDSM but spanking was the original trigger – but we just began to notice that with more and more people – the groups were meshing. There wasn’t the same distinction. Or there was more curiosity about trying something a little but more.

Naughty: We wanted to do some rope, try using whips, floggers, things like that. Traditionally speaking in spanking – once upon a time, it was very strict in all the different groups about what you could do; it was very frowned upon to have any kinds of ropes or that sort of thing. So in changing with the times and what we like, we just expanded it a bit.

So how did you both get into this lifestyle, meet each other, etc?

Naughty: A little bit of backstory… We met at a spanking party. It was this group, with the prior owner. I had been in the closet my whole life, never told anyone about my desires until I was getting divorced and went to a spanking party from a different group. Charles saw that I was listed to attend the next party, so he reached out to me and was asking some questions. We decided to meet.

Charles: I was actually mentoring somebody at the time, I was looking for a party that she could attend where the people were understanding – wouldn’t beat her up too bad as she was very skittish about the whole thing. I was also looking for submissive women who hadn’t been in the scene for that long, that had gone to one of the prior parties so I could ask a few questions: what’d you think/how were the people/how was it like/etc. Naughty was who responded to me. We started chatting back and forth through messages on Fet, and at one point she said “oh your girlfriend…” and I said “oh no, she’s not my girlfriend – she’s someone I’m mentoring” – and Naughty said “OH! Well in that case…” And it grew from there! That was over 5 years ago.

Naughty: We just got married last year and we have a Domestic Discipline Household. So you could consider us 24/7, but a lot of what we do is for fun. But we do have rules in our household.

Oh my gosh! That’s a whole different interview for a whole different day!!!

Naughty: It’s an amazing group, its been a lot of fun. Our regular parties are almost like hanging out at a cocktail party, but people are getting spanked!

That’s my kind of party! Is there a website or a FetLife page for your group?

Charles: We are on FetLife as a Group under Hollywood Spanking Plus, our Group profile which is Hollywoodspanko, and personally – we have a joint account Bluemeetsblue.

Vice Erotica is a photographer, writer, and babygirl from Southern California. She is a regular contributor for Kink Weekly. When she’s not photographing pretty things, she enjoys cigars, collars, and planning her next adventure. You can view more of her work here.

anniebear: My Very First Play Party

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It was March, 2014. I had been to a munch the previous week and was absolutely dying to go to an actual play party. I was working a dead end retail job at the time and was checking my Fetlife for events. Remember when Fetlife was shiny and new and you were on it every moment looking for messages?! One event popped up that piqued my interest; “Gentlemen In Charge, a high protocol play party for male Dominants and female submissives”. I liked gentlemen, but I definitely liked it more when they were in charge! I was sold! In my brain I’m thinking a room full of Dominant men and me…..pretty scary but so so so hot. This was my ultimate fantasy, something /I’d always dreamed about. But what to do?! The party was in a mere four hours so I’d have to go by myself…and think of something to wear. I sent a text to my sister who is both kinky and out for advice on what to wear and do. She talked me off my ledge and said if all else fails, wear a black dress. Just to be on the safe side, I posted in the Gentlemen in Charge group asking for clarification on the dress code. To my surprise, a few people responded back and cleared it up for me! I even got a nice message from another female who would be in attendance if I needed a buddy. This was working out to be better and better! I dashed out of work at the end of my shift and knew I barely had time to go home, dress, and then make my way back across town in time for the party. The event listing urged people not to be late or risk interrupting the pre-party class/instruction. In my head I knew I would DIE of embarrassment if I were late.

At home I tore though my closet. Looking back on the moment now, I’m simply astonished that I did not own more lingerie. At the time I think I had two garter belts, a bustier, and a few modest 1950’s era slips to my name. The times have definitely changed! I agonized as the clock as ticking and finally went with a black slip, some mint green panties with garters and nude stockings. I had a short bob haircut at the time so was going for a 1920s vibe. Back then, Gentlemen in Charge required the female submissives to wear a collar. Luckily I had recently picked up a collar from Pleasure Chest (I didn’t even know about the famed Stockroom yet). I threw on some red lipstick and flew out the door. Now mind you I was visibly shaking a this point. I was a lone twenty-something female about to go to a dungeon play party. It doesn’t inspire a lot of confidence!

I arrived at Sanctuary, the party venue LATE! I sat in my car, adrenaline pulsing through me. I was sweating and freezing and flushed all at the same time. I can’t believe I blew it and was late. How I convinced myself to get out of the car and into the building beats me. You have to ring a buzzer at Sanctuary to be let in and I was shaking like a leaf. The person at the front desk asked for my RSVP name (I had enough sense to make sure I had done that much) and informed me that classes had already begun and told me the females were gathered in Hades. (??????) Hades?! “What’s a Hades?” I thought. I felt too stupid to ask for any clarification and just walked right in. I went down a short corridor, turned the corner and there was a room full of what looked like fifty men! They were all listening to a man bathed in red light on the stage, the teacher for the pre-party class. I froze like a deer caught by a hunter. A man directly to my right quietly asked me if I needed assistance to the ladies class and I gratefully accepted as he lead the way. It seemed like the gentleman part was working out so far.

I entered a small room (with the name Hades on the door, huzzah!) in the back and it was full of women of all ages, races, and types of dress. Looking around I felt slightly out of place. Women were dressed in beautiful corsets and collars, blouses and dresses. I shrunk myself against a wall, sitting on the floor because the room was at capacity and listened. The instructor, a known Dominatrix was talking about high protocol. The lesson went straight over my head having been so new and foolishly unlearned in the way of kink. It was definitely great people watching as I wondered who everyone was and if they were new too. The class wrapped up and we were informed to join the men for social hour. My nerves returned full force! A woman approached me and asked if I was anniebear. It was Subbiepoppy, the person who had messaged me! I was saved…kind of. Well, I at least had a person to latch onto. She introduced me around to her group and everyone was extremely nice. I then made a beeline to the bar. Let’s be honest, I needed some liquid courage. A few men approached me and kindly introduced themselves. I think they could tell I had a bit of that caged wild bird look to me as they were all gentle and did not invade my space.

One thing that struck me about the crowd I general was that not everyone looked like a supermodel like in the movies. Yes I sound like an asshole but no one talks about this part of kink where you get used to the Hollywood stereotypes and don’t realize what the reality is. These were just normal, kind people. There were all types of looks and the men were not wearing black capes and carrying whips and the women were not all flighty little nymph types wrapped in rope (That would come later). It was a relief. You could look however you wanted to look and be any age and that was ok. In fact, I was impressed with how nicely dressed the men were in their suits. The women all seemed so confident as some undressed down to lingerie and underwear. I started to wonder, could I do that to? Would I find someone to play with tonight?

A man that introduced himself earlier as “Velvet” came back around and we chatted some more. He understood I was new and we talked about what my experience had been like so far. I went back to Subbiepoppy and the safety net of the other girls. One of them asked me if I wanted to play with him and I said I wasn’t sure if I had the nerve. I asked if she knew the guy and she said she did and had seen him around and that he was a good play partner. The wheels in my head started turning. I gave myself a pep talk and told her I wanted to do it! She said she would help me negotiate the scene (I do remember the Dominatrix mentioning negotiations during the class). Thus began the start of my very first play scene ever and in public, which is fitting because I am now such an exhibitionist.

I approached Velvet and asked if we could play and he agreed (yippy…and oh shit!). I told him my friend would help me negotiate. It seems normal now but looking back this was probably one of the single weirdest conversations I had ever had. I didn’t even know where to begin so I rattled off a bunch of stuff I did NOT want to happen which included bleeding, sex, kissing, nails on my skin, and tickling. I was off to a good start. Then is got down to things that interested me; I had no clue. I thought back on my different sex partners and some of the things I liked that they did. “I like spanking and whipping with a belt?”-yea I added the question mark uptick to my statement. After not talking about these things for so many years, it’s a very odd feeling to finally say out loud what you would like a man to do to you. “I like hair pulling.” It was getting a little easier. I honestly really lucked out on a first play partner. He took more time with me going over a few more likes, dislikes and limits. He then asked what my safeword would be to which I gave him a deer in the headlights face. Of course I knew what one was but I could not think of a single word that stuck out in my brain, no blueberry or panda bear or nothing! He explained the stop light colors to me, red, yellow, and green. He also went a bit further and said he may ask where on a scale of 1-10 was I in that color. So if I said yellow and he asked what number and I said 8, that mean I was rapidly approaching red. That really knocked my socks off.

We went in search of a place to play and my brain started whirling again about how naked I was going to get. To my delight we found a room down a hallways that was slightly obscured so not every person walking by would see me. My friend promised to stop by to check on me as well as the dungeon monitors who were helping the party. He sat his bag down and I sheepishly asked what clothes I was supposed to take off. He said whatever I wanted to. I turned my back and slowly removed my slip. I was standing in just my bra, panties, and stocking and had an “aw fuck it” moment and removed my bra. Everyone else was naked, why shouldn’t I be?! And in that moment I felt free and liberated, and nervous as hell. What if this man, this stranger actually hurt me? What if I hated it or freaked out? What if he forgot or broke the extensive rules we discussed? Just then I saw my friend peak her head around the corner and give me a thumbs up. I blew a sigh of relief and gave her a thumbs up right back.

From then on our scene began. While I cannot remember every detail of the scene now, in retrospect Velvet was an incredibly talented flogger. Flogging in particular can look very scary and painful to a newbie but it was actually wonderful and felt so good to me. I loved the feel of the leather on my back and butt. I also remember on mortifying moment where a Wartenberg wheel got stuck in the lace of my stocking. I just took those off at that point too! Velvet took me through a variety of implements and types of play. I truly could not have asked for a better first play scene. Velvet, if you’re reading this, thank you!

Velvet drew the scene to a close and I was soaring! He asked if I needed any aftercare and I couldn’t even think straight! We eventually got me dressed, cleaned up the room and walked back out to the main party and everyone had practically left, it was nearly 1:30am! Time flies when you’re having fun. I drank some water, we exchanged information as he wanted to check on me the next day and he walked me to my car. That my friends, was the beginning of my journey, I was hooked!

anniebear is a submissive living with her partner Dexx in Los Angeles. She enjoys writing, modeling for friends, animal rescue, and teaching herself how to cook. You can catch her on Fetlife or Facebook.