Your Poly is Not My Poly and That’s OK!

So you see people identify as “poly” or “monogamous” (aka mono). Seems pretty clear cut. I wish it were that easy. When it comes to poly there are a gajillion variations. (Not an official number - lol) You can ask a dozen poly identified people to describe how they “do” poly and you are likely to get a dozen different answers. For some they are romantically mono but … [Read more...]

NRE: New Relationship Energy

“New relationship energy (often abbreviated as NRE) is a state of mind experienced at the beginning of most significant sexual and romantic relationships, typically involving heightened emotional and sexual receptivity and excitement. It begins with the earliest attractions, grows into full force when mutuality is established, and slowly fades over months to years. It carries … [Read more...]

Work! And How to Make it Work

I have written about the effect of jobs, family and real-world obligations on BDSM relationships. But, on further reflection, I think jobs can have a greater negative effect on BDSM relationships than all other factors combined. Families, no matter how demanding they can be, also bring a positive aspect to any couple’s life. Real world obligations are something that everyone … [Read more...]

Whose Side Are You on?

You know how it is – you get that call (or more likely that text or PM) from a friend that says “so and so” and I broke up. In this community you may hear, “I’ve been released” or “I had to release her/him”, etc. Whatever you call it, this friend and their significant other have split. You may also be friends with the SO (significant other). This is never a fun position to … [Read more...]

“Are You Monogamous or Polyamorous?”–THE WRONG QUESTION

This article originally appeared on It’s time someone addressed a Single MASSIVE MISCONCEPTION regarding this question which gets asked in almost every Alternative Sexuality genre, including the BDSM / Fetish Scene. The answer will hopefully make you THINK, and it is interesting to note that we here in the BDSM Community have a few extra philosophical … [Read more...]