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Rika’s Lair- A Little Insight Into A Submissive Man

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I hope you have been enjoying Rika’s Lair, my monthly column dedicated to thoughts and experiences regarding power dynamics in Service-Oriented D/s relationships. Look up “Ms. Rika” in the search box for links to all of my articles in KinkWeekly! 

This week, I’m not going to write an article. Rather, I’m going to share a poignant piece of introspection I received from a submissive who was working through some internal conflicts. I found that it gave a very honest and raw look into the mind of a submissive that proved to be enlightening. I hope you find it so, as well. I hope you read it and share your comments, particularly if you relate to the emotion. 

Reproduced anonymously, with permission: 

She left her boots out. 

The blanket chest at the foot of the master bed serves many purposes: Storage, a place to stack folded clothing, and occasionally, a place to put little notes to remind her of things she wants to remember to do. Some days, it’s completely clear, usually on days when I’m due to dust, but this day, the lid showed signs of activity. 

Somewhere between the folded tops, jeans, and workout clothing, she casually left her pair of black Frye riding boots. They stood tall on top of the chest; toes carefully aligned; pointing in parallel to the middle of the room. Their inseam zippers were pulled almost all the way to the top, causing them to sag open, just slightly; low enough to reveal their light brown, worn, leather linings, but high enough to keep the boots erect under their natural weight. 

During the fall, she wears those boots religiously. They look great with her jeans tucked into them and even better over any of her pairs of leather pants. They are the most comfortable pair of boots she’s ever owned. She wears them almost daily, weather permitting. 

I can’t count the number of times I’ve knelt in front her, pulling those boots from her feet and stacking them neatly on the floor in the closet. From time to time, she’d allow me to bury my face into the top of them to breathe in their aroma: Leather and sweet sweat; an intoxicating bouquet that’s a generous gift to anyone like me; a gift for which I’m careful to show my gratitude. 

She left her boots out. 

The boots are never kept out of the closet…and yet, there they were; at waist level; demanding that my eyes lock onto them. 

I felt stirring between my legs and weakness in my knees. My ears got warm and my cheeks flushed. The room faded away as my vision tunneled to the boots. It was a visceral reaction; immediate and completely involuntary. I’ve read that subconscious reaction to visual stimuli is a phenomenon that men experience more than women. It’s something of which I’ve been keenly aware since I was a boy. The fact that anything related to a woman’s sexuality causes my body to involuntarily react in a way that weakens me, only serves to attribute even more power to women, and re-affirms my acknowledgement of submissiveness. 

I gathered my wits about me and overcame my initial excitement. Regaining my composure allowed questions to wash over me: Why did she leave the boots out? Surely, she knew I was going to see them and knew I was going to wonder why she left them there. Did she expect me to do something with them? My mind began to work through the possibilities. 

Perhaps she wanted me to put them away. That idea excited me, since if that was the rationale behind leaving them there, she was doling out a menial task that she easily could have done for herself. How awesome would it be if, instead of just putting them down in the closet, she set them on the cabinet for me find and put away – to “let her slave do that”. She would be demonstrating how completely in tuned and in control of my mind she is, since, not only would she be delegating a menial task, but she’d be forcing me to handle objects that she knows triggers my submissive buttons. She’d be making me handle her footwear…and she knows what that does to me. 

Maybe she just wanted me to kneel before them and kiss them. We don’t have a standing rule where I am to worship her footwear when I see them, but oh, how cool would that be? Perhaps, I should inhale them, as she had let me do in the past. 

Could she just have wanted to tease me…to just leave them there as a means to drive me nuts? Maybe she was aware of how excited the situation would make me and was using this as a means to stoke my libido in preparation for a Tease and Denial session she was planning for later. How mind-blowing would it be if she were playing a long-term game, getting me hot and bothered with different such scenarios throughout the week, until I’d be a begging mass of desperation whenever she chose to give me relief. Maybe those boots would be back in play at that point! 

Or, maybe she wanted me to polish them before I put them away. Oh my, that would add another layer of service-driven excitement to the situation: Not only permitting me to serve her by doing the menial task of storing her boots, but also the demeaning task of cleaning and polishing them! 

Why stop there? Did she want me to lick them clean before polishing them? I’ve done that before. She knows the excitement that the leather soles on those particular boots bring me – and how turned on I get when the leather turns from light to dark brown as my tongue slathers over them. She knows how much I love to tend to the disgusting task of cleaning them. Could she have been expecting me to do that as well? 

She left her boots out. 

I didn’t have any directions, but I had the option of doing ALL of this. Then I found myself wondering if doing any of this would be what she really wanted, or just be fulfilling my own desires. 

It took all of about 10 seconds for these thoughts to rip through my mind. In the end, I decided that any assumption made regarding what she intended, would have been presumptuous and self-serving. None of it would be enjoyable, unless I knew she wanted it. 

I left the boots where they sat. I didn’t touch them, or even smell them. They sat on the cabinet lid for four days until she wore them again. We didn’t discuss it. I’ll never know if I failed a test or if I’m living alone with this fantasy in my head. I’m not sure which is worse…the latter being such a lonely possibility. 

Ms. Rika is a lifestyle dominant, educator, and author; living in the suburbs of NYC with her husband/slave. She has written several popular books on her approach to adding Dominant-Centric, Service-Oriented D/s to relationships. You can find her books (in both print and eBook formats) at Lulu.com (http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/msrika), or at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, the iStore, Books-A- Million, Kobo.com, or anywhere books are sold. Search for “Ms. Rika”. Write to me at Ms_Rika@hotmail.com

The Gift Of Kneel

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I hope you have been enjoying Rika’s Lair, my monthly (and sometimes, more frequent) column dedicated to thoughts and experiences regarding power dynamics in Service-Oriented D/s relationships. Look up “Ms. Rika” in the search box for links to all of my articles in KinkWeekly! 

Last week, I got a note from a man who, with his wife, had read my first book, “Uniquely Rika” as well as my latest, “Uniquely Dominant”. He highlighted the chapter from “Uniquely Rika” called, “Simple Gifts”. Simple gifts are little things a dominant can do that give their subs a quick moment of pleasure, by playing to their personal desires – particularly ones that don’t fall into the dominant’s definition of submission. They are given without provocation or cause and are not considered submission to the dominant. These are easy things done by the dominant, for the submissive. 

From “Uniquely Rika”: 

[Sometimes, the things subs ask for do not match your definition of what serves you…] The good news is that, once you know what they are, you can choose to give them to him, or not. The intent of a gift is found in the context of the Underlying Relationship. You could give them to him even if you weren’t in a D/s-oriented relationship! This is no different from catering to a partner’s fantasies. So, feel free if you like. 

Sometimes a gift can entail a prolonged scene with complex predicaments, however, gifts can also be quick, simple, and easy to give, yet still leave a lasting impression. 

Remember, these are not acts of dominance, these are sub-centric activities. They are ‘Simple Gifts’. 

Simple gifts, by definition, are not elaborate. They can be as quick as making a sub thank you for doing something for you…or can be as seemingly random as making them hold their breath and stand on one leg for as long as you wish…just because you said so. It could be having them do something that you know they enjoy, but you don’t particularly feel serves you. The idea of a simple gift is to let your submissive know that you care about their desires, even if you don’t define those as submission to you. They give the sub a little jolt of excitement, without having to do a whole bunch of stuff yourself. Simple for you, but very effective for them. 

In his note, he told me how his wife had been experimenting with my methodology and had arrived at a definition of submission that served her. They had been practicing the “Routine Task List Exercise” from “Uniquely Rika”, as well as the “Egyptian Pharaoh” exercise from “Uniquely Dominant”. He is spending every moment of the day focused on her and what he can do for her, and loving it. 

What prompted him to write had happened that morning. His wife was putting on her makeup in the bathroom and he was just outside the door folding laundry. Without warning, she turned to him, snapped her fingers, pointed to the ground behind her and said, “Kneel”. He immediately stopped his chores and did as he was instructed, quickly finding himself staring at her behind as she leaned over the sink to get close to the mirror. He loved her backside, particularly kneeling in front of it…and she knew it. She didn’t do anything more to acknowledge him. She just left him there as she continued to work over her makeup. Every once in a while, she’d look over her shoulder at him and softly chuckle before returning to the mirror. 

When she was done, she pushed her butt back a bit until it touched his face. She waited there for a moment. He wrote that he wanted to kiss her ass more than anything in the world at the moment, but she never told him to. She just held it there, in contact for a few seconds, testing his self-discipline. Then she turned to face him and squatted down to run her hand across his crotch. Satisfied that he was sufficiently turned on, she lifted his chin until their eyes met and smiled gently at him before giving him a kiss on the lips. Then she stood up and left the room. He knelt there in the bathroom alone, until she called out to him to rise. Then he went back to finish folding the laundry. 

The rest of his day was a normal day of service. He wrote how invigorated the morning’s events had left him and how much he loved her for showing how much she cares about him. He knew this was a treat designed for him. This wasn’t an act of submission. It was just something she chose to do for him – that she knew he’d enjoy. It took no effort on her part. It wasn’t designed to make him feel more submissive or to serve her better, because he already served her to the best of his ability – it was just a gift from her to him. A single word, “Kneel”, created a complete story of mutual fulfillment, caring, and acknowledgement. He wrote of his gratitude, both to his wife for the treats which she chooses to bestow upon him, and to me, for introducing her to “Simple Gifts”! 

I thought I’d share it this week with you! 

Rika. 

Ms. Rika is a lifestyle dominant, educator, and author; living in the suburbs of NYC with her husband/slave. She has written several popular books on her approach to adding Dominant-Centric, Service-Oriented D/s to relationships. You can find her books (in both print and eBook formats) at Lulu.com (http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/msrika), or at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, the iStore, Books-A- Million, Kobo.com, or anywhere books are sold. Search for “Ms. Rika”.