What is a Switch?

When someone tells you they identify as a Dominant or Master, submissive or slave - you have a pretty good idea what that means. But how about when someone tells you they're a switch? Well, it means you need to ask more questions. I often compare somebody that identifies as a switch to someone who identifies as bisexual. Now, before you get all upset, I understand that … [Read more...]

D-types: Knowing the Other Side

My last article was about s-types “knowing the other side” – so now it’s time for the D-types out there. I realize this is typically a harder sell. There are many D-types that when it’s suggested just to feel what their implements for play feel like they answer with something along the lines of, “Hell no!” I get it. You’re not a masochist. That’s fine, I’m not telling you … [Read more...]

Topping From the Bottom: A New Perspective

There is a very popular expression in the world of D/s – “Topping from the bottom.” This means the submissive is trying to dictate what the Dominant will do. Bottom-topping is most prevalent in scening. For example, “I want you to paddle me tonight, but do not use the cane!” This approach is classic “topping from the bottom” both in substance and style. The substance is in … [Read more...]

Dom Wants to Submit

Often my articles are inspired by questions I receive regarding BDSM, D/s, relationships and all kinds of kink-related queries. (After all, this is KINK weekly!) One of the most intriguing questions I have been asked is the following one: “If my sincere desire is to be completely dominated, and I have a dominant personality outside the playroom, can my fantasy truly ever … [Read more...]

D-type and s-type Fluid

So you may or may not have heard the term “gender fluid”. This refers to a person who may always feel like a mix of the two traditional genders (male and female), but may feel more male some days, and more female other days. This concept came up in one of my classes in a different way. We were discussing one student who knew she identified as an s-type, however, wasn’t … [Read more...]