sexual freedom

This week in kink: April 5, 2020

April 2, 2021 By Desdemona 2 Comments

Want something sexy to read?

Then, check out these BDSM books from Cosmo!

Unfortunately, The Sex Work Industry is still heavily stigmatized.

With this being said, check out this informative article on how the media is perpetuating the negative view of sex work.

Click below to find out more from Dazed!

Learn about cultural misogyny and why we should care about it from The Conversation!

Click below to find out more!

Have some kinky news to share? Tell us about any upcoming BDSM events, new products, dungeon openings / closings, kink in mainstream media, and anything else you think kinky folks might be interested to hear about. Send your tips through to kinkweekly@gmail.com, and it might just end up on next week’s “This Week in Kink.”

For The Lust Of Lotti

April 2, 2021 By eve 2 Comments

woman tied to chair splashed with water — via stock.adobe.com

She was quite a sight to behold. She slid her bottom around on the satin sheet like she was trying to get comfortable. The four-point restraints had given her very little wiggle room. Somewhere in the background, there was music playing. It was a mixtape. I’m not sure how much thought went into the music selection. Voluptuous breasts, untamed curls, a peach of a pussy, a fantasy to be consumed. How much more could a group of sexual deviants ask for. Even thinking the word deviants made me giggle. I had never been more respected, revered, or appreciated than by these people. Their passion for freedom and non-judgment made evenings like this a thrill and joy.

If we had all gotten dressed and gone home right now, it would have been a successful evening. But as I watched the various members of our sweet little club pack up things or get undressed, act as though they didn’t see a restrained naked woman in the middle of the room. I had to contain my giggle of elation. They were respecting the fact that she said no toys rule. To her, everybody was quiet. The master and slave combos and a couple of Doms whispered and pointed, deciding the part they wanted. They were being strategic and wanted to make the most of what was on offer. Voices were non-descript, and nobody moved. Every person there understood the power of making somebody wait. This was the mind game of play.

The fantasy of an orgy was just that, even for many of these players. Lottie was there to surrender to her wildest fantasy. All involved knew this wasn’t a session. It was play. It was about heightening her emotions and the pleasures of the flesh. Deprivation of touch and anticipation would mean her body would feel every touch and taste all the better. As the group planned, our host placed a candle warming bowl with oil on the table. Without a sound, he motioned to the bowl and took a step back. Two of the Doms were stripped down to underwear. Kenny still had on his socks.

They each generously lathered their hands with oil and went to either side of the bed. They made eye contact and approached the bed like two synchronized swimmers walking to the pool and stopping at the edge. With broad, silly smiles, each placed a hand on her thighs and oiled the length of her leg down to the ankle, adjusting their hands so as they slid up, they open her legs and exposed her sex. One after the other, a single slap and oiling of their side of her pussy. Their hands journeyed across her luscious curves, encompassed her breasts and tweaked her nipples. I never would have thought these two could bring such humour and lightness to the room. They were delighted with the smiles and giggle from everyone. They broke the tension, and others found their courage.

The host tapped his finger on her wrist indicating time, and flashed 10 fingers. Or make her wait 10 minutes. With that, Beanpole was on his knees, and a cock was in his mouth. Tears rolled down his face as he gagged while being face fucked. His humiliation continued as his arms were cuffed behind him. He was not afforded the dignity of a blindfold; his tormentor was the first slave auctioned this evening, and his master directed the humiliation with verbal jabs and taunts. Beanpole was fully erect, and his cock danced wildly. One of the taunters had found a strap rhythmically torturing beanpoles cock. Cries of pain were cut off with the gagging. Without warning, he was manhandled into standing up.

When his eyes were wiped, he was to take the one who had just taken him, a volley of spit hit his cock, lubing him up to enter the ass of his playmate. Several sets of hands massaged the faceless slave’s ass as we waited. Across the room, Tink was enjoying being treated to a thorough pussy eating by the female Dom. Tink’s legs wrapped around and convulsing with pleasure. I envisioned Tink’s head tipped back as I queened her. The body heat was increasing, and faces seemed to blur and fade as the frenzy of pleasure was raised with the foreplay. I found my bottle of water and finished it. I enjoyed my job as safety tonight, but my tits ached to be caressed and squeezed, my pussy pulsated, and my panties were soaked.

Tink was wearing a high cut, lace bodysuit, and a pair of 4-inch heels. The sides reached all the way to the top of her hip so that her legs looked quite long. She was at the bed head on the right-side, twirling a long ostrich feather between her thumb and index finger. My guess is it barely made a breath of wind, yet somehow Lottie knew someone was nearby. Instead, she started to speak; instead, she wet her lips and literally held her tongue between her teeth for just a moment.

Her breath was a bit ragged but still controlled. As Tink barely brushed Lottie’s arm, Beanpole had covered his hands in oil and began to massage one of her feet. She was tense, you could tell, because she was pressing her hips into the bed. Hands wandered over her body. She struggled as one of the men put his hand on her stomach. He read her mind, leaned forwards and whispered what she needed in her ear. His nails drew a figure- 8 across her pelvis, hesitating at her treasure trail but never dipped a finger neat her pussy. He continued to whisper and stroke her body. The tension lessened and she released her hips. He didn’t kiss her. I don’t even know if he was still talking to her. She was in her body, not in her head. She leaned into some touches and flinched from others. He drew his hands back and kissed her navel before letting the others finish what she started.

Someone else joined in. Three sets of hands massaged and saturated her with attention. A male head of blond hair covered her face. His kissing seems to light something in Lottie. Lotti’s body rose and fell at a steady rhythm. She was so ripe and ready. He moved down her neck and was distracted by the woman suckling Lotti’s breast. He massaged and twisted it while kissing the other woman. She put her hand in his shorts and worked his cock. He rubbed and flicked Lotti’s tit in time to the hand job he was getting.

In my mind, I knew what she was feeling. She held her breath, and warmth rushed over her. She exhaled slowly to try and control the fireworks being set off in her nervous system. She figured she needs to control her responses. She didn’t know what letting would feel like. She was afraid. The one thing she needed was to let go. I knew how alive her body was. It felt electric. The room smelled of sex. this was to be her clit was swollen, and a butterfly kiss would make her cum. Her vagina pined to be filed. I placed a hand on her cheek so she would know I was there.

I asked so others could hear me, “red?”

“No,” came clear and fast.

“Yellow?”She hesitated. I looked at the others and raised my eyebrows. It was only a few seconds, just long enough for the others to withdraw themselves.

“I’m good,” was all she said. The group descended and continued. A naked man lid between her legs and kissed her sex. His tongue slipped between her lips and started to eat. Lapping up her wetness, his arms were under her thighs and held her to his face moving with the undulations of her hips.

My head was close to hers. I traced the edge of her ear and down her neck. I whispered encouragement and compliments. I told her to let her mind go to be in her body. Accept the worship, feel the adoration in every nip, scratch and touch. She nodded, and I stepped back. I walked over to Beanpole with my back to the room.

“You were a really good boy tonight. Go to the bathroom and clean yourself up, be quick!”

I collected napkins and emptied bottles from around the room while the gang banged on. It was a little after three. The players moved around her. They pleasured each other and metered attention onto Lotti. Our host tapped playmates, and they slowly moved away. The dark circle of wet was proof of Lotti’s pleasure. There had been no penetration, no final bang? What the hell? Really! They were going to leave her hanging? I was pissed for her. Our host put a finger to his lips as the players began to mumble.

“Lovely Lotti, we thank you for being a dessert buffet of delights. You have a room of people who want this to be your fantasy fulfilled. Are you still green, or are we done?” he smiled slyly as he spoke the last sentence.

“Get the condoms on and make ‘em all green,” She laughed and pushed her breast up. Out host laughed and said, “let the ravishing begin.” Everyone was in for a piece of the pleasure. Hands were caressing and squeezing. Kisses, nips and sucking filled the space. Those waiting their turn masturbated to the show in front of them. Asses were smacked or fingered; vaginas were pleasured. Lotti let go. She found her perfect cock. The frenzy did its job, with the third cock, not the longest, but definitely the thickest. He moved slowly and held deep for a moment. As he increased his pace, she struggled against the restraints to raise her hips to him. Without stopping, he motioned to her quick releases and left the cuffs attached. She drew up her knees and pressed into her hips.

He growled, “Yes” He increased his speed, and the playgroup began a retreat. Then he drew her down, so he had one leg on the floor and a knee on the bed. And I swear to god, I have never seen this before; he was dancing with her cunt. He would go deep, do a pelvic thrust and pull back with his hips in the forward position. As he pulled back, he pressed her right hip down and rotated her hips. He fucking salsaed her cunt. Instantly, I could feel him in me, my whole body throbbing to take all of him in. Lotti’s breath was fast and a little rough. Moans from deep inside filled the room as the two gyrated couplings were all over the basement. The main ring was inspiring.

Lotti pulled up around the perfect cock as he brought her to climax. Bucking against him until she froze in time. Her nails dug in, and she flicked her hips a half dozen times very slowly, and a mouse’s squeal was buried in his chest. He held her inside for a moment, kissed her hard and walked away. He tossed the condom in the trash. He saluted the room as he collected his pants and shorts. He left the basement, singing goodbye. I clapped a hand over my mouth to contain the giggle. My body was tired. My arms and legs ached, everything was funnier, I was done. As I curled up on the couch, I watched the others talk and reassure each other. Lotti’s mask was removed, she was offered a blank and a plate of fruit. What a night.

Sexualizing Your Dynamic

March 26, 2021 By SafferMaster 4 Comments

sexy female submissive getting blindfolded — via stock.adobe.com

From the time I was sexually active I was always surprised when I dated a girl who was as sexually active and as horny as I was. I was raised in a home with a prude for a mother, and sex was never, ever discussed. It was not as if sex was made to be bad or dirty, it just was never ever discussed. So, I grew up very horny but not really aware of or clear about how girls saw, thought about or experienced sex. My high school experience was mostly mashing with girls at parties. It was here that I had my first kiss and felt up the breasts of one or two girls, and it wasn’t until I had almost graduated high school that I had my first actual sexual encounters, close to 18 years of age. My early sex life was more of a hormone driven desperate desire to ejaculate, than an exploration of sexuality. That only happened later.

In college I got lots of pussy, and for the most part it was a continuation of my adolescence expressed as 20-year-old rookie vanilla sex. I had one secret weapon though. My older sister, who was nine years older than me, once shared with me when I was perhaps 9 or 10 years old, that I “should always please my lover before I please myself.” I didn’t really understand what she was on about, but even so, I took that to heart and by and large, over time, I became adept at eating pussy and withholding my orgasm till my lover climaxed. Then, in college, I dated my first serious girlfriend, Maryellen. She was a 25. I was 19. She was very sexy and very sexual more than that, she was the first girl I dated that unabashedly worshiped my cock. She loved sucking my cock, she took pictures of my erection on the beach, and she really made me feel a little uncomfortable about how much she was into my cock. At the time, I was a bit embarrassed about her obsession if I am honest. Looking back though, I can see how things might have gone differently if I was more aware of my sexual power which only emerged for me later in life. I went from girlfriend to girlfriend in college, until I eventually at 23, I dated, lived with and then married my wife at age 26, and for those 3 years and the next 3 years our sex life was about the same as before – uninspired vanilla sex. You might say that as regards my sex life, I had an almost certain predictable future. Then at age 29 we started having kids and my sex life came to a sputtering halt. The future I was living into changed entirely from boring and intermittent, to barely active at all as regards my sex life. What this meant for me was that for about 20 years, I spent my nights lying in bed next to an otherwise sexy blonde who was nursing and mothering her 4 kids, and who had no real interest in sex at all. I was left to fantasize to porn magazines and movies I rented from Blue video, while I masturbated, imagining a kinky submissive who loved sex as much as I did as my forever partner. It was the old Woody Allen joke “the problem with my sex life is that it only involved one consenting adult.” I joke about it now, but it really was painful. I suffered the loneliness that accidental celibacy produced for me. My “love language” is “physical contact and genital sex.” Hers was “service”. We were as sexually compatible as chalk and cheese are alike. Out of desperation, I found women from time to time to engage with sexually, and through this process, I more or less interacted with my fantasy women “Submissive sluts who worshiped my cock” by doing so. What made this difficult was that the women I encountered were deeply sexual and so unlike my wife that I was ready to leave her time and time again. This was an unsustainable condition. Naturally, my wife and I ended up getting divorced.

After we separated, I set about deeply exploring my sexuality. And I found myself dating ever more kinky women and I got to take a deep dive into my kinky fetishes. I found that I was into BDSM and I identified naturally as a Top or Dom. I also found an outlet for me my sadistic nature in the world of sexuality. I was genuinely surprised at the number of women I encountered who willingly and happily gave me their consent. It was truly mind-blowing.

I spent the next few years contemplating the women I was with, and what occurred for me was this. I was searching for the “perfect partner” for me. I conjured up out of nothing the idea that I lived with a collared submissive slut in 24/7 total power exchange. I created the possibility in my mind that such a partnership would result in a deeply loving and committed dynamic where we were sex forward and kink forward and that she would choose me to be her Master gifting herself to me ongoingly, and that inside of that dynamic, the intimacy that I had been missing my whole life would naturally occur.

My intention was to collar my submissive slut and to live with her while as her full self-expression as a completely sexualized 3-hole slut. What I mean by this is that without any effort, she authentically sees herself as my imminently desirable, always available sexual creature who orgasms during impact play, and has earth shattering, powerful orgasms, especially during anal play. I require her complete discipline and devotion as a sexual creature and partner. I can happily report that Living with Lady Petra has been and continues to be the fulfillment of this intention.

The process of sexualizing my slut requires ongoing training and committed effort on my part to achieve the desired outcome on a gradient. At the same time, my slut needs to be coachable, willing and interested in being fully self-expressed in service to her Master as his owned and collared submissive slut and masochist. In short, she belongs to me, and it is up to me to make sure that her service is rewarded and encouraged. I am 100% responsible. At the same time, she is also 100% responsible for creating the relationship on a daily basis. For example, she kneels for me in a perfect Nadu pose to indicate that she is ready to be used. This is her choice.

We had a conversation about sexualizing the dynamic on our podcast the Kinky Cocktail Hour – here is an excerpt of that conversation:

“SafferMaster:

… that is what this podcast is about. Is this broader question of how do you sexualize a dynamic? And this (wearing clit jewelry all day) is an example of how you sexualize a dynamic. What I mean by that is in any relationship, sex can be something that happens between a couple regularly or intermittently and life gets in the way in the middle. Right. And I can imagine certainly from my own experience, I imagine from other people’s experience that oftentimes sex gets put to the side and in a dynamic where there’s a power dynamic occurring of any sort or a D/s dynamic of any sort. The question is “how do you keep the context of the dynamic sexual” and you, and I both believe in a healthy sexual context, we are in a sex forward, kink forward dynamic, that was what we created, and in a healthy sexual dynamic, the CONTEXT is sexual, it is not just the sex that is sexual.

Lady Petra:

Right, right. Oh, I mean, yes, there are all different things happening in a scene. However, I feel throughout our scene-ing, it’s all sexualized. And I mean that because for me, if, if you’re flogging me, I’m cumming.

SafferMaster:

Right.

Lady Petra:

And you’re usually stroking your cock and things like that. And when I’m caned, I’ve cum before and then of course you in the way we do that as cane and then you fuck my ass, that kind of thing. And it brings that context. So we just, we stay like really connected to that context all the time

SafferMaster:

In a scene.

Lady Petra:

Yes.

SafferMaster:

I’m arguing that there’s a broader context to our dynamic that’s sexualized.

Lady Petra:

Yeah. I agree. I agree with you.

SafferMaster:

And what I’m arguing is that there’s a way to keep the dynamic sexualized so that the sexual scenes are [always] really exciting and hot and you don’t have … get up for them.

Lady Petra:

Well, I definitely think the way we foreplay.

SafferMaster:

yes, as an example,

Lady Petra:

All day long or two days ahead or whatever.

SafferMaster:

Yeah.

Lady Petra:

I think that’s a perfect example of creating, um, excitement and intensity and a readiness to in your head versus not knowing what’s happening next. What there’s, this is one thing I noticed just based on the dynamic we’ve created we’re sex forward. So we play all the time.

SafferMaster:

Yes.

Lady Petra:

You know, and, but we also have lives and work and stuff. So we tend to use the early part of our day to wake up and to get going with our days. And there could be sexualization happening there, but that’s kind of what’s happening. And then we save the latter part mid, mid to latter parts of our day as sceneing.

SafferMaster:

Yeah.

Lady Petra:

You know, but in that whole day there’s sexualization. So if you think about it, you’re, you’re I get up early before you, cause I need to go to the gym and I need to go do some stuff. And my work hours are a lot earlier than yours. And so I get up and I do normal things, dynamic tasks, things, things that make me responsible for myself wellbeing and for the households wellbeing, what have you. But then I send you a picture of my marks,

SafferMaster:

Right

Lady Petra:

So that’s sexualizing, you know, you know what I’m saying? And lately we’ve added picture of my toes and occasional add a picture of me kind of a fun, sexy type of picture with me right before we’ve even been face-to-face in the morning.

SafferMaster:

Right.

Lady Petra:

And then, you know, of course we make time to be affectionate when we greet each other in the morning, we don’t take that for granted that it just, who we are, you know? So we make sure to do that. And then throughout the day, we’re both responsible for greetings and for acknowledgement in an affectionate sexual way with one another,

SafferMaster:

right.

Lady Petra:

You also have given me tasks to do edging tasks or have explained when you go on your walk and I prepare myself what you expect me to do to prepare,

SafferMaster:

right.

Lady Petra:

Uh, that may not be the normal thing we do. It would be additional stuff. Or if you have a specifics on how you present yourself, you also then know there are times when you’re giving me freedom that you don’t know what you’re going to come home to. You might come home to me appearing any way, any which way, which is an excitement for you.

SafferMaster:

Sure.

Lady Petra:

You know, you going on your walk, knowing I’m getting prepared is sexualizing that time that you’re away.

SafferMaster:

It’s very difficult to have a walk, try to listen to my book knowing that you are home getting prepared .., I’m going to get home to a horny slut, presenting herself to be used. It’s hot.

Lady Petra:

Yeah.”

In this back and forth, you can see that my collared slut is all in. She is 100% committed to the dynamic. She has been trained to present herself, she has been trained to cum with flogging and caning. She is a trained ass whore. She does as instructed in order to please me sexually. For example, when she kneels for her flogging, she arches her back and presents her ass and leans into the flogger. She may get 300 or 400 strokes and she is dripping wet with her juices running down her legs having experienced multiple orgasms, and her ass is red hot after her flogging. Because I like fucking her red-hot ass, she likes having her ass red hot for me to fuck. She is fully enrolled and registered into her role as my collared submissive slut and all that that entails.

Keeping the context sexualized had not only enhanced our relationship, but it has kept our dynamic healthy too. Take this text exchange last week

Me: I think today would be a good day to wear your clit Jewelry

LP: Thank you Sir

Me: And while you are at it, use the Hitachi every 30 minutes on your swollen clit to make yourself cum

LP: Yes Sir, thank you Sir

She then sent me a message every 30 minutes to let me know she had completed the task she was assigned. On occasion I went into the adjacent room to kiss her and fondle her breast while she masturbated with the Hitachi. By the time I used her later that day , she was a “soupy mess” as she put it.

Remember, I spent over 30 years in a relationship where there was no broader context to keep the sexual aspect of our relationship present and alive, and now, I live in a D/s dynamic where the context is fully sexualized all the time.

She is a service slut, so part of what fills her cup is to serve. She is fastidious and committed to making our home beautiful. She supports my cheffy nature by being my sous chef and by keeping the kitchen clean. All of this “domestic activity” plays into her nature as a service sub and on top of that she is deeply submissive to me and chooses me to submit to.

My self-expression as her Dom includes a commitment to keeping the dynamic highly charged with sexual energy. It is working out perfectly.

When I look at how I spent the 30 years before I met her as compared to the time since I created this dynamic with her, it is shocking to consider that this highly charged sexual dynamic was always within my grasp, and at the same time, just out of reach the whole time. It was really the absence of a willing partner to make it all come together.

Today, my view is that sexualizing their dynamic is the most worthwhile step a couple can take to bring their dynamic fully into alignment.

SafferMaster and Lady Petra offer Kink Relationship Coaching with online, group, and personal coaching options.

You can access the coaching services offered by Lady Petra Playground by reaching out for an initial conversation- LadyPetraPlaground@gmail.com

The Patreon is also a way to sign up: https://www.patreon.com/LadyPetrasPlayground Lady Petra and SafferMaster also produce the Kinky cocktail Hour podcast available on all podcast platforms

Orgasm Control

February 20, 2021 By Baadmaster 2 Comments

dark haired submissive chained to bed — via stock.adobe.com

This is a question that is self-explanatory. So here it is:

Reader: Orgasm control and denial are topics of interest for me. I’ve heard lots of good things, but also that it can cause negative side effects. What do you think? Any tips?

First things first. Can denial produce negative effects? Many old wives’ tales suggest this to be true. Some claimed that too much sex is bad; others said that denial is the road to ruination. In the Reefer Madness era, believe it or not, there were even ones that said you would go blind if you masturbated excessively. Yet the worst that happened to me is that I wear contact lenses. Negative effects from orgasm control are a similar urban sex legend. Sexual denial usually produces no negative effects — other than causing fewer orgasms in your life. Albeit bigger ones!

The purpose of orgasm manipulation is basically to make for better, bigger more intense orgasms. (Sounds like a late night TV advertisement for the Orgasmotron – but wait, there’s more!) Most of us practice a form of orgasm control even in the vanilla sex world. — most men delay orgasm for as long as possible to increase mutual pleasure. But in BDSM, we have raised this to an art form. Let’s look at the two major classes of devices used in orgasm control – the “chastity belt” and the “cock cage”.

Since many things old become new, the chastity belt for females is making a comeback. As we become a more egalitarian society, it was only natural to expect chastity devices to be equally available to all sexes. Or to put it into Mad Men advertising language, “Chastity devices ain’t just for men anymore.” The effect of a chastity belt worn by a submissive – both from a role play point of view and a control perspective – can be awesome. Recently, lightweight plastic/composite belts have replaced the old bulky leather/metal ones; these high-tech belts are not the heavy locked affairs of Elizabethan times. These modern versions are a unique (although expensive) way for a Dominant to establish the ultimate in orgasmic and sexual control.

The cock cage too has felt the advancement of technology in its development. From the early plastic versions (the CB 2000) to the modern stainless alloy types, just like face-masks, they are available in a myriad of designs. (Once this pandemic is over, you can use your spare face-masks for BDSM play!) But whether used for pleasure or punishment – or anything in between – ultimately the aim of such devices is to make your play more exciting.

There is no doubt that sexual denial can increase horniness. (Just go to a singles bar on a Friday right after work.) But if you practice sexual denial on purpose, you can increase the anticipation and raise the sexual excitement to a fevered pitch. “Don’t masturbate (or have sex) until I see you next week” is a popular Dominant’s technique that can turn the submissive into a horny, sex-crazed obsessive by the time they see each other.

Another technique of orgasm control is that of bringing a submissive to the brink of climax over and over again. Whether ending in a “ruined orgasm” or a “super orgasm,” this “tease and denial” technique can be done over a period of hours (or days…WOW!) and can be excruciatingly exciting. Coupling BDSM play with “tease and denial” in a s scene a great way to produce explosive orgasms.

There is one area I have left to last – the legendary training of a submissive to “cum on command.” This has an almost mythic quality to it; it appears to be the ultimate Dominant achievement. I have heard tales of a Master being able to order his slave to cum via telephone and the slave doing so without even touching herself. I personally have never witnessed this; nor have I ever achieved this feat.

What I have done is to train a submissive to become extremely sexually excited via a voice command. The training technique I use is to deny orgasm over a period of time, thus building a heightened state of arousal. Then you link your voice command to this excited state – by stating your command at the time of highest sexual arousal. This conditioned response training is one way to get closest to making the submissive “cum on command.” And maybe, using this technique over a period of time, it can actually be accomplished.

As with all my suggestions, they are just that – suggestions. So let me know your experiences. Good luck!

After a ten year run as head writer for the legendary bondage.com, and an equally long run as the host of the hit internet show “Baadmaster’s Dungeon,” we are pleased to welcome the one and only Baadmaster to KinkWeekly. His thoughts about all things BDSM will now appear regularly on these pages. From the mental aspects of D/s to the nuts and bolts of S&M play, Baadmaster will cover every facet of this ever expanding lifestyle.

Interview with Michelle from the Pleasure Chest

July 2, 2018 By slave_bunny 3 Comments

Can you tell us a little about how the Pleasure Chest got its start?

The Pleasure Chest started in 1971 in New York, at the height of the sexual revolution. Founders Duane Colglazier and Bill Rifkin started out selling waterbeds, but found unexpected success in selling erotic novelties like mood lighting, cock rings, and handcuffs. They decided to turn the store into a full-fledged sex shop.

The company’s first location in the West Village in 1971, challenged convention by refusing to block out the store windows with XXX, which was standard for any store with adult material. Its founders aimed to create a department store feel. This simple principle continues to guide and set the Pleasure Chest apart today, now under the leadership of Duane’s nephew Brian Robinson.

What is your job title for the Pleasure Chest? How did you begin working there? What is your background concerning the Adult/Fetish Industry?

Currently I am a Sex Specialist and Sex Educator. The road here starts with me (as a Theater Education major at the University of Puerto Rico: Rio Piedras) putting myself through college working in the adult industry as an exotic dancer and nude model. About three years later, I moved to Miami and eventually transitioned into doing burlesque and teaching pole dance fitness. Upon relocating to California five years ago, I returned to stripping after a break up that left me broke and almost homeless. A burlesque performer I was dating at the time suggested I apply at The Pleasure Chest since I was looking for something with more regular hours. I interviewed and got the job, knowing that becoming a Sex Educator was my primary goal.

What do you love the most about working there?

I love having the opportunity to help people find the tools they need to better love themselves and each other. I love empowering people to feel comfortable in their sexual experimentation, exploration, and expression of themselves. Redirecting sex negatives attitudes and teaching people about consent is very rewarding for me as well.

In your opinion, what would you say are the company’s core values?

Sex positivity, pleasure based sex education, inclusivity, and adaptability.

What is the Pleasure Chest’s overall mission? How does the company go about accomplishing this?

To provide a non-judgmental, safe space where individuals are free to explore lifestyle products that will enrich their sex lives, regardless of spending capacity. We do this by hiring folks that are not only personally invested in their community, but are also actively a part of it, by carrying a wide range of products from low to high price points (which allows us to maintain accessibility to every demographic), and by offering free sex positive, pleasure-based, workshops and events to support and build up the community.

What is unique about your company and store? What do you feel customers can gain/experience uniquely there?

I believe the level of training we receive first and foremost sets us apart from other adult retailers in this industry. Not only from vendors, but from social justice groups as well. As the language around sexuality and gender has evolved, we have had diversity trainings to better serve all facets of the LGBTQ Community. We make a conscious choice to use gender neutral language, whether it is on the sales floor or in our classes. At the LA location, the team is really more like a family. With this being said, customers are met with friendly, compassionate, and knowledgeable staff. We hear them out, we laugh together, sometimes we cry together. We make sure they leave with what they need, knowing how it is used as well as how to clean and care for their product. They get a curated experience that you won’t find in many other stores or online.

Can you elaborate more on your events and classes that you have at your store? How do they help achieve the company’s overall goals?

For our sex education programming, we try to have a decent amount of variety of topics and instructors while still maintaining staples like Suck It, Live It, Love It (an oral sex class for everyone) and Butt Sex Basics as a regular part of our repertoire. Classes are a great way for people to experience a different facet of the store while they are learning something new or expanding on what they already know. Our workshops are always free, and if customers fill out a feedback form we offer them a 15% discount after the class. They get to buy a product(s) that they might have seen featured in the class at an accessible price, and we learn how to make our workshops an even better experience every time.

We also do community building events like “Performance Anxiety,” which is our comedy night, and Cirque Sexualle, a bi-monthly free burlesque show that showcases POC performers. These events all help the Pleasure Chest to achieve its goal of being more than just another adult retailer. We want to be a hub for the community as well, and a safe place to gather, learn, laugh and get turned on in ways that we aren’t typically privileged to in our usual lives.

What types of products do you sell? What companies in your opinion are the best?

Literally everything! Novelties, lingerie, lubricant, massage oils, personal care items, condoms, books, dvds, couples toys, vibrators, dildos, harnesses, anal toys, masturbation sleeves, cock rings, kink implements, electro-play devices. I mean, it’s endless. In my opinion, companies that focus on sustainability and ethical production practices without sacrificing the quality of their product are best to me. In my book, that happens to be Fun Factory. All their products are made by hand in Germany where they employ locals who are unionized, are paid a living wage, and have healthcare. They don’t use any harmful chemicals in the production of their devices, or the devices themselves or the packaging. So, their environmental impact is neutral. That is a major turn on for me.

What do you feel the community at large faces right now? How can/does the Pleasure Chest try to help with this?

I think the greatest challenge the adult industry and sex worker community faces is dealing with the ramifications of our government creating regulations like FOSTA/SESTA, which only builds stigma around the sex worker industry, and makes it more difficult for sex workers to survive, rather than “prevent sex trafficking” as it claims to. Framing sex work as real work and supporting sex workers is something that the Pleasure Chest has always maintained a firm position on.

In your opinion, what is the best way to safely explore your fetishes?

Do your research. Read books, both instructional and erotic fiction to get a well- rounded perspective of what the expression of this fetish can look like. Identify what aspects of its expression resonate with you-what turns you on? Try things by yourself first so you don’t have to worry about what you look like in front of someone else. Once you get a good idea of what a ‘scene’ looks like for you, discuss with a partner, negotiate desires and boundaries, and above all else have fun! Give yourself permission to laugh and enjoy playing in new ways, it doesn’t have to be super serious.

In what ways can the Pleasure Chest help with sexual exploration?

I think this is where our workshops really come into play. We take topics from oral sex to g-spotting, to advanced anal, fisting, bondage and impact play, and present them in a way that is very digestible for folks still trying to decide whether or not they are into it. By demystifying and destigmatizing the different ways in which human beings can experience pleasure, we help take away people’s’ fear and shame around the experience of exploration by making it lighthearted and enjoyable.

How is the Pleasure Chest specifically tied to the Kink Community? Do you feel that most of your customers are kinky in some way?

In its early days, a huge part of the Pleasure Chest customer base were those of the gay leather community, and later the store became well known for its yearly “Glory Hole” parties. As time has gone by and BDSM has become more mainstream via mediums like the “Fifty Shades” series, our role has shifted in terms of facilitating conversations around what healthy D/s relationships and consent actually are versus what is presented in the media. One thing I have learned from these conversations is that “kinky” is a sliding goalpost. For some people blindfolds are kinky, whereas for more experienced folks it might not be. For some people, just the act of wearing a condom or doing it doggy style can be kinky. Our job is not to decide what is kinky or what isn’t -because it is truly unique to the individual. Our job is to be a resource people can turn to for receiving the tools and information about how to go about their kink in the most satisfying and safe way.

What does the Pleasure Chest want to offer in the future?

A major priority for us is having an even greater supportive presence in the LGBTQ and POC communities in the outreach that we do. We want to make ourselves accessible to those who face the greatest marginalization because of their sexual/gender expression. I think we understand that we have a responsibility, especially to this younger generation that is growing up during the #MeToo movement, to not only educate, but also lead by example in actively pushing back against the perpetuation of the sex negative, toxic masculine, rape culture.

What current projects is the company working on?

Most recently, we have started becoming more accommodating to our 420 friendly customer base. The legalization of cannabis for recreational purposes has created a unique opportunity for crossover into the adult erotic lifestyle product world. The way that we are responding to this growing trend is by exploring the varieties of quality hemp based products to carry as well as expanding our smoke shop section. I believe the integration of cannabis and the adult retail business is a great opportunity for evolution within the industry.

Any closing words?

I believe that the human body is an incredible biological miracle, and the possibilities for human sexual expression are as infinite as all the people that have ever existed, and will continue to exist as long as we inhabit this planet. Therefore, I believe it to be imperative that we never lose our curiosity towards exploring and unlocking all the many ways our bodies are capable of experiencing pleasure-ways we may have never imagined before, until maybe seeing a movie, or reading a book, having a conversation, or stepping inside the Pleasure Chest.

About Michelle LaBelle

Besides being a 10 year veteran to the burlesque and Cosplay Community, Michelle LaBelle has also used her voice as an activist to create greater visibility for the Bisexual Community. In addition to being a dancer, actress, singer and writer, this proud Puerto Rican native works as a sex positive sex educator, empowering individuals to seek out their most fulfilling sex lives through consent and pleasure-based education.

IG: @themichellelabelle

Twitter: @TheMLaBelle

http://www.facebook.com/michellelabelle86

IG: @pleasurecheststores

sexual freedom

Footer