slave training

Video: The Ultimate Guide to Non-Physical BDSM Punishments

July 5, 2021 By Ms. Elle X 2 Comments

Want to expand your consensual punishment repetoire?

Want to deepen your understanding of discipline?

Then, check out this amazing video by Ms. Elle X!

The *Ultimate* Guide to Non-Physical BDSM Punishments | Ms. Elle X – YouTube

Living in a 24/7 TPE Dynamic

July 5, 2021 By SafferMaster 4 Comments

Domme holding cock cage — via stock.adobe.com

I live with my collared slut. She and I have a 24/7 Total Power Exchange (TPE). This means that at all times she chooses to submit to me. Our dynamic is sex forward. So, one aspect of our dynamic is that at any time, I am free to use her sexually. Our dynamic is kink forward as well. What this means is that at any time, I am free to do anything I wish to her in any kink context that I choose. Naturally, she is not a slave, and she has agency, and she has given me her consent. Naturally, I would never do anything to her or with her that ignored or violated her hard limits. I say “naturally” because all kink dynamics are based on trust.

When I made the choice to seek a submissive partner to live in a 24/7 TPE, I did so after exploring a wide range of kink scenes with an array of submissive women. While I was quite happy with the kink, the sex itself was unfulfilling and I became present to the fact that for me, what was missing was the intimacy of romantic partnership. In my exploration of kink, I learned some things about myself. What sort of fetishes I had and which ones I wanted to explore further and so when I began my search, I had a list of “must haves” and list of “I’d like to have” considerations.

For example, I knew that I was seeking an obedient submissive masochist who was herself seeking a 24/7 TPE. She needed to into or at least open to my entire fetish list. That was the start of the adventure.

I wrote a “seeking post” that posted in all the personal’s on Fetlife in the local and nearby cities. Almost immediately, I received many inquiries from women and I met a few of them. One woman in particular got my attention. Her questions seemed genuine and her curiosity authentic. We messaged for months, spoke once or twice and then, I gave her a task to assess both her obedience and masochism. What I did was I asked her to attempt to orgasm with ginger in her ass. It was smore than that, but that was the gist of it. Not only did she do so, but she orgasmed 3 times and then she sat in a Nadu pose with the ginger inserted and experienced an out of body moment. That task had me anxious to meet her.

We met in person at a restaurant and in the very first moments of our meeting, she made the choice to submit to me. Before we even spoke. My dominant nature, my way of being, my pheromones, whatever, something in her was triggered and she chose me to gift herself to.

Over the next few months, she worked to get complete in her separation and file for divorce (something that was occurring regardless of my interactions with her. Eventually, when she had taken steps to formally separate, she put herself forward to be claimed.

In claiming her, I would mark her inside and out as my own submissive. We had talked about this, and it took courage to put herself as a new kinkster, in the hands of a sadist. The Claiming Ceremony involved being chained, marked with a cane, having me piss in her ass and down her throat.

That began a journey of exploration as we explored many different scenes and kinks of a wide variety of alternatives, to get our kink in alignment. She is very obedient and she does everything I ask. Then after we play, we debrief and we assess if we should do that again, more intensely, less intensely or not at all.

Communication in a kink dynamic is probably the most important aspect of our kink and, in truth, you could say that our favorite fetish is communication. You would not be wrong. I’ll say one important thing about communication between a Dom and a sub. There are times when we need to set aside our dynamic and talk as equals. This is important because as I noted at the outset, she has agency.

Before long, she moved in with me and we started to explore living together in a kink dynamic. Not long after that, we started talking about collaring her. We made the choice to delay the collaring itself until she had created the space she needed to create a new relationship by getting complete with her divorce. This is an important consideration. In order to be able to commit herself to me, she needed to be divorced completely. I needed her to be able to give me her full attention, and with the background noise of an ongoing divorce she did not have the mindset nor the space to put her attention on something brand new. And as soon as her divorce was done and she was complete, we began to plan her collaring ceremony in earnest.

We took collaring seriously. We wrote our statements out so we would not forget what we wanted to say and she kneeled in a circle of candle lights and white rose petals as we started the ceremony by being with each other. We sat there staring into each other’s eyes, silently, or perhaps 5 minutes. We said what there was to say and then we created an intense and prolonged scene to mark the occasion.

It was a beautiful private ceremony that bound us in our kink.

What has happened since then is that we have become closer, more connected and more aligned than ever.

The best aspect of being in a kink dynamic is what we call “The Rabbit Hole”. Why kink is like a rabbit hole is that it takes twists and turns and we discover new things about ourselves and each other. One example is the time I made the choice to give her a daily maintenance spanking. This occurred because I noticed that as the week passed after our weekend marking sessions, she became “out of sorts” and it was clear that she was in a great mood after being marked. And while she put herself forward to be spanked as instructed, what came out of that was unexpected. We used the experience to try different implements on her and she found that with the heavy flogger, somewhere around 150 strokes, she started to have orgasms and experience the flogging as electrical energy. We have experimented with over 1000 strokes, which she loved. This was completely unexpected. Another example is the time I put her in chastity for a month and we only explored anal sex. She discovered her ass as a sex organ – eating her ass gives her orgasms. That was unexpected.

My point is that in the rabbit hole, the twists and turns are surprising and its super fun to have a partner with whom that exploration is occurring.

So what makes our dynamic work? First, we subscribe to a few principles:

– There is nothing wrong.

– We are both 100% responsible.

– We are in communication.

– Trust is present.

There is one other thing. She is incredibly obedient. I find her obedience a turn on. She adheres to protocols with a religious fervor. I love it.

Now a few words on the principles we adhere to. When we say “there is nothing wrong” it is not to dismiss her point of view or her complaint or mine, it’s a recognition that as human beings, we make meaning out of things we do not completely understand. It’s a function of being human. What there is to deal with is “what’s so” about a thing. That keeps us from escalating moments in a negative direction. Second, we both take full responsibility to keep the dynamic alive and well. Its not a 50/50 deal at all. Its 100%/0%. And we talk. We talk so often about so many aspects about our dynamic that we started the podcast Kinky Cocktail Hour. And most important, trust really is present. She trust me to use her hard and not break her. She trusts me to love her and care for her and I trust her to do the same. Intimacy is present.

Our dynamic works because we are committed and not attached to the dynamic and we go with the ebbs and flows of our desires and demands. As the Dom, it is my responsibility to read her. To gauge her energy and her mindset. We have sexualized her completely. She experiences herself as a very sexy creature And she is perfectly suited to be my personal slut. The result is that our sex is lava hot. I would say conservatively, that in the 3 years we have been together, we have had sex over 1,000 times, each time being the hottest sex ever. She always presents herself to be used and it starts there. Lately, we are employing hypnosis to move her into a trance state more quickly and I am training her to experience deep throat fucking as orgasmic. It’s hot.

Writing this has caused me to send her a message that I am going to use her hard when she gets home from work, and I am going to “fuck her silly”. Because our sexuality is wrapped up in kink, this means that she will get flogged and fucked today. Her response? “Mmmmmm…Very, Very HOT!!”. Then she sent me this text:

“Verfreude”

The German word Vorfreude is unique and has no English equivalent. It comes from the words vor (“before”) and Freude (“joy”) and means something along the lines of “joyful anticipation.” Vorfreude is the joy you experience while you are looking forward to something.

Germans often say: “Vorfreude ist die schönste Freude” which means “anticipation is the greatest joy”.

I have Verfreude too.

SafferMaster and Lady Petra offer Kink Relationship Coaching with online, group, and personal coaching options.

You can access the coaching services offered by Lady Petra Playground by reaching out for an initial conversation- LadyPetraPlaground@gmail.com

New coaching content can be found on our Patreon:

https://www.patreon.com/LadyPetrasPlayground

Lady Petra and SafferMaster also produce the Kinky Cocktail Hour podcast available on all podcast platforms and here: https://kinkycocktailhour.buzzsprout.com/

Slave Auction-It’s For A Good Cause

February 27, 2021 By eve 2 Comments

hot male submissive in collar — via stock.adobe.com

***All works of erotica are fictional. We never condone anything that is not safe and consensual.

A box was at the top of the stairs for cell phones, house rules. Each participant had signed a contract for tonight’s session. A faint smell of incense meets everyone as they make their way into the transformed basement. The only light is from a strand of Christmas lights stapled across an exposed beam. Oversized pillows and rugs covered the floor in front of a brown plush couch, which has seen better days. A padded sawhorse with straps and St. Andrews cross featured in the middle of the room. Speakers hidden behind draped fabric played 80’s hairband music. The music clashed with the vibe. It should have been sitars and ethereal voice drawing the participants into the Arabian night fantasy. Tonight, I was the watcher. A group of t-shirt and bare-chested men were making conversation on the far side of the staircase. The music quieted, a voice from upstairs called, “draw near, the auction will begin.” Each stair has a set of bare feet and legs.

The robed herald leads the line of slaves to the center of the room. The men on the far side fell in behind and immediately began to handle and inspect what was on offer. Each slave wore only a collar with a card hanging from it. The hard limits for each slave were stated on the label. The first beast on offer was male; his loose black curls covered his eyes. His mouth had been painted bright pink. It shimmered from the cheap gloss that had been used to begin his humiliation. A small pink ribbon encased his balls and accentuated his semi-erect cock. A Dom, bare-chested wearing cowboy boots and a pair of pressed jeans, ran his hand from the nape of curls to the slave’s full round ass. He sniffed closely and called to his compatriots, “boys, I smell fresh meat.” The bawdy laughter of the Masters’ filled the room with an eerie sense of the satisfaction they would take in those on offer tonight.

“What’s this useless Fuckwad afraid of?” he asked indifferently, smacking the slave’s ass, leaving a handprint on the soft pink flesh. The slave didn’t make a sound or make eye contact with the handler who held his collar.

“Oh, I think this will please you, Sir, no feet, that’s it.” With that, two other Doms approach and inspect the slave. One forces its’ mouth open and sticks two fingers to the back of the slave’s throat. He looks at the other Dom and says, “yeah, he’d do,” He presses down on the sex-slave’s head, forcing him to his knees. The Dom lines his leather-clad crotch with Fuckwad’s face.

LeatherD taps the handler on the shoulder, “let’s get started. This one amuses me.” The three men step back and wait for the auction to begin. “Tonight, is for real money. It all goes to a local charity. There is a minimum of 300.00 per slave but no maximum.”

I open my book and record the pen name (fuckwad) for the first. Bidding starts with 300.00 and goes up to $20.00 between the three men until they reach 500.00. A 500, the handler uses a crop and smacks the thighs and stomach of Fuckwad. “Gentleman, this one wants to be used hard and made very wet” He laughs at his own pun. Leather-clad Dom takes the bait, he approaches Fuckwad and roughly opens his mouth.

“$700.00.”

The other Doms raise their hands in surrender.

“Sold for tonight only, Fuckwad to LeatherD.” I record the amount in my book.

LeatherD clips a lead onto Fuckwad’s collar and yanks him towards his table. Slave followed, all eyes in the room turned to watch. The sex-toy is now fully erect, and precum glistens on the head. LeatherD smacks the member and warns the useless fucker that he will regret cummings without permission or giving his money’s worth.

“Yes, sir,” seeps from his lips. With lightning speed, LeatherD had a hand full of curls and forced his slave to his knees. “Don’t speak! Every time you do something without permission, it’s five with the flogger. Nod if you understand. Your safe work is can-opener.” Master delivers three tight smacks to the slave’s cheek. “I don’t like to repeat myself,” he continues to smack the other cheek as the slave nods.

Fuckwad’s cheeks were flushed from the smacks, he nodded, and a grin came across his face. I waited for the smirk to turn into a saucy comeback, but he stayed silent. LeatherD removed the ribbon with a deft hand and put a silicone cock ring around his play toy’s balls. Fuckwad stood ready for inspection, his fingered interlaced behind his head. Leather D had put wrist cuffs on his slave after he had inspected for cuts and bruises. “Safe, sane, and consensual,” he said, and he cracked a crop across his slave’s thigh.

“Ow!” shot out of Fuckwad’s mouth, and his eyes bulged the second he realized he had made a sound.

Without breaking stride, Master quipped, “that’s five slave- do keep track.” Fuckwad nodded but didn’t make a sound.

I could see him trying to look through his curls and keep his head bowed. Master for the night took inventory and continue to size him up. LeatherD tweaked the toy’s nipples, slapped his cock, and grumbled insults. All the while, the rest of the room continued with their inspection of the other slaves. Leather D held a flogger and nipped at the toy, flicking and barely making contact. Master soothed the awakened flesh with his large, calloused hands, grabbing and squeezing Fuckwad’s ass. Master circled like a shark dizzying its prey.

“You were fucking looking at me, you piss ass, don’t you dare look at me. You are a goddam waste of flesh. Your father would have been better off wanking off into the harbor, rather than your useless mother.” He spits in the slave’s face.

LeatherD turned his back on the room and inspected the items he had prepared for the evening. He pulled a deep red flogger. It must have had 100 falls; it was stunning. Extending his arms, the fall draped over on forearm. He displayed the flogger, holding it up, so close Fucktard automatically turned away. “That’s another 5 -you pussy,” Master drew back and walked behind. “Count bitch, what is your safeword?

“Can-opener” was clear as a bell, a sign Fuckwad was delighted to have Master punish him. Master did a final inspection of his toy’s thighs, ass, and back. He murmured something in approval. The first lash was met with little more than a murmur and the count of one. Fuckwad stood unrestrained hands clasped in front of him, feet shoulder-width apart. The next four were delivered in quick succession from thighs, ass, and back. He hesitated only to hear the count. On the third lash, Fuckwad wavered on the count as he fought to keep his position against the force. Master said, “that hesitation gets a do-over; let’s try that again, slut.” This lash had full force behind it. Leaving stripes across Fuckwad’s back.

“Three,” he blurted out and bit down on his lower lip. The strikes to the ass were the hardest from the sound and the resolve of Fucktwad’s tone. The final strike was not hard but airy, making contact between the shoulder blades and dragging the falls softly down the slave’s back. The flesh was crimson with streaks. Master rubbed and soothed the flesh as he walked Fuckwad towards his table, “good slave, hands on the table.”

Master removed the cock ring, and Fuckwasd shuttered as he held his load. He took a vibrating prostate stimulator, applied lubricant to the tip, and cut a length of bondage tape. Fuckwad was moved to the far side of the stairs, where the light was lower, and the others would have to consciously shift to continue to watch the session play out. Master clipped the cuff to a nylon strap that had been wrapped around the exposed crossbeam. Fuckwad was no longer able to stand flatfooted. He was upon his toes and fighting to keep balanced. Master spread his toy’s ass check and slowly inserted the anal stimulator. A groan of pleasure rose from his slave. A piece of bonding tape kept it in place. The slave’s cock was red and engorged from the stimulation. Master’s finger flicked the tip, after the fourth or fifth flick, his slave winced. Long firm strokes were met with breathless moans. Smack, “I didn’t give you permission to speak. Now you wait.”

LeatherD leaned against the table and unzipped his pants. His erect cock released and ready, “look at me, slave,” he held his toy’s eye and began to stroke. The slave’s cock seeped and jumped with excitement. Master circled Fuckwad and tapped the anal probe quickly. He held his slave to his chest. It was too much to endure. “Please let me cum?”

“Not yet,” Master held his slave tighter and increased the intensity.

“Oh, Oh, Ogh, please, Master?” the speech was practiced. Tethered to the ceiling on his toes, he opened his legs and held his load on the edge of ecstasy.

“You cum after I do.” He ripped the bondage tap away and removed the simulator. Master stood behind the slave and penetrated him. The slave threw his head back in pleasure. LeatherD was tall and tucked himself in under the restrained fuck toy. Bringing his slave to the edge again, removed himself and released the slave. Without prompting Fuckwad was on his knees, hands behind his back, sweat running down his body, and his master’s cock was in his mouth. The face fucking was relentless, Fuckwad gagged and drooled, taking his Master deep. Leather D lost control, just for a moment. I caught the look of pleasure as he watched the slave bring him to climax. He came in the slave’s mouth, and the cum dripped off his chin. He made no effort to clean his face.

“Bring me the horse, I will finish you off hard, and you will be grateful.” Leather D used a towel and zipped his pants back up. He stepped into a dildo harness with a nine-inch bright orange cheetoh of a cock. It was the funniest thing I had ever seen.

Fuckwad lifted and carried the awkward piece of furniture, avoiding contact with his cock, which was still hard but slightly less engorged. “You ready to cum, my boy?” he said with a smile. He strapped his slave down lengthwise. Fuckwad’s cock pressing against the edge of the horse, I’m guessing he wished for a glory hole right about now. Fuckwad’s new position drew the attention of another Dom.

He stood in front of Fuckwad, “may I use the front end? He seems talented?”

LeatherD laughed and slapped slave’s ass hard, “he is a good cocksucker, useless as a man, good fuck toy, though. Use that end at your leisure.”

With a condom clad member, Leather D pound Fuckwad, letting him moan and writhe to his heart’s content. He struggled with the desire to curl in on himself as Leather D rode him because his mouth was full of a relatively thick and short penis. He gagged as the cock was forced to the back of his throat.

“Do that again. He gave a little extra to me when you did that,” he said to the guest. His slave’s eyes watered, and he gagged on the short cock as he felt his release. His cock twitched so fervently it hit the horse as he came. Every nerve was stimulated. He was electric with the awakening his body was going through. You could see it. After he came, you could see the energy leave him. He was spent. LeatherD finished, and the other Dom walked away as he came on Fuckwad’s face. He nodded at his fellow Dom in thanks. LeatherD released Fuckwad and wrapped him in a warm blanket.

“You served me well, have some fruit from the tray, and you can sit at my feet.”

They joined the group and watched the proceeding in the other part of the dungeon.

Low Protocol And Power Exchange

December 12, 2020 By Christmas Bunny 2 Comments

good girl on her knees, submissive — via stock.adobe.com

It began in baby steps. Our dynamic was very much an experiment, with each movement forward and each step of the way tested before the full weight of the relationship was brought to bear upon it.

It was a scary amount of power to give up. I came into the relationship a business owner, and began a second venture about a year in. Handing the metaphorical reins over to another when my hard work of years was on the line was a truly terrifying thing to even contemplate. It came part and parcel of our TPE, however, and I had to trust that he would allow me to continue to make decisions without his interference.

Part of owning a business is having to interact with others in various ways, be it as the customer service representative who is discussing a potential order, as the cashier handling payment, as the scheduler booking classes, as the manager attending to someone’s satisfaction, as the artisan building product and providing updates, or in educational capacities, both online and in-person. That’s a lot of hats, and they require a certain amount of freedom of action on my part. It has necessitated trust on his part that I would make decisions and behave in ways of which he would approve without having to have specific protocols in place to govern those actions.

As someone who has grown to become firmly embedded in my local community, I see an incredibly wide variety of levels of protocol. Some are required to ask prior to leaving the presence of their master, some are required to follow protocols which govern their interactions with others in various settings. Perhaps it is a set protocol involving carrying packages or interacting with waitstaff or asking permission prior to speaking and touching friends or strangers within kink settings. Interestingly enough (and this is a conversation I have had with friends on occasion, because many of us are fascinated by the differences in how relationships are built), many of the dynamics I have observed which involve a small business seem to run with a lower degree of formality and protocol, perhaps out of that same necessity.

If I must receive permission to speak to individuals prior to doing so, even ones of specified gender, and my partner is away from our vendor table, I would quickly become ineffective as a merchant. I would be unable to answer questions or complete a sale. The same holds true of online interactions. It would effectively make the business I run hobbled during his regular work hours until he could handle the aspects I was not permitted to attend to without him. That would lead to additional stress, and I ask a great deal of him as my business partner already. While he does make those decisions, he has chosen to leave many of the finer details up to me, limiting the majority of his participation to financial decisions such as inventory purchases, and to customer interactions in order to keep me from using my energy and focus up in those areas rather than in completing projects.

The leaves much of our dynamic very informal, from a protocol standpoint. Fortunately, that works well for our personalities and the way we fit together. While I sometimes feel that our low protocol interactions can be mistaken for a more casual relationship, which can bring with it a feeling of being less than, I remind myself that some of those stares may be from envy for what may appear to be a higher level of freedom.

Make no mistake, however. He holds full authority over me, regardless of the appearance of casualness our low protocol level may give outsiders. It is so important for us all to remember that each relationship, each dynamic forms as it works best for the individuals in question. For some, that may mean there are specific rituals and protocols dictating large portions of their actions. For others, such as us, that total power exchange may rely more on the granted authority of the top-of-slash rather than any formalized behaviors. We all have to determine what works best for us as individuals and as couples or relationship groups, and build from that foundation.

Christmas bunny has been exploring kink since she was legal to do so. Her serious writing started in college, where she accidently got some of her papers published in educational journals. She has recently expanded her writing to include her kink journey. She began writing in the physical realm, but shed some of her inhibitions and began sharing those entries with others. She now keeps an active blog of her personal growth and her relationship with her Master / Daddy Dominant and writes helpful educational posts on a variety of subjects.

Interview with Mistress Eva

June 11, 2018 By slave_bunny 8 Comments

Mistress Eva-https://www.youwillpleaseme.com/

Please tell our readers a little about your experience in the Kink community.

My interests were very much an introverted endeavour up until 2012. This is when I started training at the Salon Kitty’s dungeons to become a Pro Domme. It was here where I started to meet those with similar mindsets, and who encouraged me to start to explore the community at large.

I still keep largely to myself, but I do show my head when the energy or the desire strikes. This includes touring to Singapore (singaporedomme.com), Hong Kong (hongkongdomme.com), and further afield once a month to see/acquire personal submissives or Dom/me friends. I also maintain a few long distance connections that I really treasure – thanks to the online Kink Community. Otherwise, it’s a very quiet life in a bit of a jungle that I have for myself in the tropics.

Interestingly, I also find that attending larger events is less tough on my introverted personality if I do so in a ‘Pro Domme’ capacity. It’s as if the ‘persona’ builds a shield to make it possible for me to be there. When I do attend these events I do gather benefit and meet people that I adore – but I am also exhausted after.

A quiet kinkster in an ongoing battle between indulgence and introversion perhaps…

What do you think makes for a good Dominatrix- personality, skills, abilities, etc.?

I am going to address what I believe makes a good Lifestyle Domme as well as a Professional Dominatrix.

For both, I believe that a ‘good’ representation can come in many forms. Different combinations of personality, skill, and ability can work very well, and may suit different submissives accordingly. However, I do believe that there are a couple of qualities that are deeply beneficial for the best relationships or success in the long run – self-awareness and empathy. I believe that without these you will not be able to have a fair awareness of your relationship or scene. Personally, I believe that without this awareness, it is quite unlikely that genuine satisfaction or progression can come into play for any party.

Something I share with my slaves can perhaps better encapsulate this. I often tell them that ‘you cannot train anyone until you have trained yourself’. Training takes awareness and empathy, not only of the submissive, but of my own state of being, needs, strengths, and weaknesses.

In the case of a Professional Dominatrix, I would add that a business background or course would definitely benefit. You essentially want to think of yourself as a start-up company, and the innovative thinking that start-ups utilise to succeed will really help you navigate our market. It is a market of many obstacles in stigma and legislation – so perseverance and entrepreneurship is what you’re going to need.

Can you elaborate more on how your site works? How many slaves do you have? Where are they from? What is the overall training method used?

Since launching in January 2018, over 250 ‘slaves-in-training’ from six continents have taken my online courses at youwillpleaseme.com.

youwillpleaseme.com is my online slave training playground. Here, I have crafted a space that has four core courses. These courses train willing ‘slaves-in-training’ in understanding who I am, how I think, and what I want from them. They do this simply by completing each task. The tasks are laid out in a courseware format.

There are also simple daily tasks that are new each day to remind you of your service as well as ‘insider’ photos, videos, and ‘Dear Diary’ blog posts to expand your awareness of who I am. I believe that the most compatible service relationship will emerge only if you are in agreement of and have an awareness of my true personality and preferences.

Therefore, you could say that the overall training method I use is clarity of instruction, honesty of (my) personality, and perhaps (definitely) a hint of seduction. There is an element of the erotic that I always carry with me.My photos and audio/video instructions reflect and promote just this. Not to get into it too heavily, but I deeply believe that engaging with our sexuality is a powerful way to program my desires into those I touch.

What do you feel is the most effective way to conduct slave training?

Prior to the launch of my slave training site, I only met and trained slaves in real time. However, I have found that having my site proves a great way for potential slaves to get to know me, gauge their own interest, and improve their chances of serving me in deeper capacities – all without my constant supervision. This is both effective and efficient. Slaves get to know me in a deep way without the potential nerves, time, or finances that they may have had to invest in real time.

This has clearly also enabled me to find a more rapid number of compatible slaves worldwide in a way I would not have been able to even with all of my international touring.

This being said, it is also due to the clarity of my site and my capacity to communicate authentically and effectively – these qualities really shape the quality of the slaves that do commit.

Therefore, I believe that if you bring self-awareness, empathy, clarity, and communication to any slave training process-with proper planning, scheduled check-ins, an openness to redefining protocol, and compassion in recognizing change – beautiful outcomes and relationships will happen.

What are the benefits of online vs. in person training? What are the cons?

As mentioned, my online slave training site almost fast-tracks many in an awareness of who I am; it is able to reach all continents in a single moment, and I can effectively train many potential slaves at once.

To be honest, the longer that I am in the ‘online’ training world, I am seeing more similarities emerge between it and real-time relationships. Particularly in the patterns of growth, attachment, and relationship development.

However, for some there is definitely a physical tactility that is missed. I stress that this isn’t for all, contrary to what I may have thought prior to starting my online training platform.

I do assign physical tasks online that slaves do on my behalf, and for contracted slaves I do sometimes try to negotiate sending them to other consenting Dominatrices. However, again, this second point is not always welcomed as the service and contracted connection with myself is often the crux.

This all said, I personally still also adore in-person training. This is where my talent for intensity and the erotic often get a more challenging space to play in.

What are some things to avoid during training?

I feel that as thorough an awareness as possible of psychological background and potential triggers are necessary prior to an authentic training relationship/experience – for all roles involved.

I have recommended professional clinical assistance to those who I felt were not ready to step into a space with me, or others – I need my slaves to be able to at least sufficiently stand with their own minds before entering the challenge that will be our relationship.

Personally, I have also been caught in the trap of my own inflated ego over the years – and so I keep myself in check by regularly reflecting on the motivations behind my instruction/emotions during training. This makes sure that I am acting with the training’s best interests at heart and not putting myself unreasonably ahead of my slave’s current capacity – especially for ego’s sake!

In your opinion, what is the biggest benefit to being your slave?

I think one of my biggest strengths is that I am a uniquely genuine and kind leader that has the intelligence and emotional capacity to be able to draw lines fairly, and draw out potential in a remarkable, authentic, and sustainable way.

With how I am structured, my slaves benefit from this in a way that challenges them, that changes them, and that focuses them – but in a way that they sometimes don’t even notice.

I enjoy nuance, prioritize fairness, and adore deep, joyful, and satisfying growth, These are likely the sweetest benefits that a slave can acquire when they train with me.

What are some of your fetishes? How do these fetishes play out within your slave training site?

Protocol, intelligence, consideration, and I haven’t yet found the word but – that look in your eye when you’re experiencing something that you never imagined existed. I adore seeing you have your breath taken away.

I get to experience this ‘look’ by watching your pupils dilate in real-time; it is also expressed online through rising tributes, support, and incredible devotion – from those who engage authentically with the tasks on my slave training site. I see the outcomes of these tasks, and am notified when they are being followed genuinely.

Protocol, intelligence, and consideration – these are deeply integrated into the flow and content of the site itself- are the reasons why youwillpleaseme.com even exists. I also get extra kicks through a points system that is awarded to slaves when they adhere to/complete the online courses. This is their reward for adherence to its built-in protocol – which takes both intelligence and consideration to do authentically. Each month, I choose my best points earners for unique privileges that have included custom clips and even a day of service for a US sub during DomCon LA.

I also have many, many fetishes that are grounded in different things from visual to tactile to a touch of the sadistic. But in all honesty, these are indulged and used in order to serve my overarching motivations as mentioned above.

What is the biggest personal benefit you receive from the site and from being a Dominatrix?

Humility. Now, I understand how this could sound absurd coming from a Dominant. However, I am going to stand by it as my biggest personal benefit for the moment.

There is something about the constant indulgence in self-importance, and the adherence to it by my submissives and slaves that inspires a deep gratitude in me. It’s a gratitude that encourages me to self-reflect so as to keep a level head for us all. With this comes a humility that I never quite grasped in my life prior to life as a Dominatrix – where you get so many opportunities for interactions of the transparent D/s dynamic. I have had the opportunity to succeed and fail so many times, which allows me to move closer and closer to a sense of balance of relationship and self.

This humility is a grand quality that really eases my place in the world, and brings a deeper level of contentment to my existence.

Has the site, being in the Kink community, and/or being a Dominatrix led to self growth in your own life?

Very much so. In addition to the benefits in the last answer, my daily life has benefitted from a better understanding of negotiation and consent as practiced in the Kink Community. This is something even Dommes can battle with and compromise around widespread, public male entitlement.

I also feel a much better sense of self-acceptance and empathy through my experience as a Dominatrix – as so many encourage and clearly adore my personality as a Female Dominant (something else that society at large does not nurture or encourage).

What is the best advice you can give to those looking to become a Dominatrix?

There are really so many ways to go about it. There are many accomplished Dominatrices who both trained with dungeons/experienced Dommes, and those who gathered information through the community/self-learning.

I can largely speak to my experience as a dungeon- trained Dominatrix. Personally, I feel this was an incredible way to go about training as you are able to see the many styles at work, practice with all the equipment you may not be able to afford otherwise, and see the business of it in action – from the get go. You also get to pull on a wealth of diverse experiences this way, and you learn fast about the community at large and protocols of respect – or you’re out.

If you don’t have the opportunity to begin this way, or if it sounds unappealing, I would say to pursue a combination of classes, books, menteeship, and/or education that suits your interests. Try to assist others that suit your interests for a while, and then embark on a few trial sessions either with supervision or with a trusted sub who will commit to giving you constructive feedback.

This cycle actually never really ceases. I believe that the most sustainable, creative, and exciting Dominatrices continue on this path of knowledge, growth, and self-reflection.

Combined with an awareness of the market, marketing, business strategy, and solid accounting, you will build a sustainable business that can be incredibly rewarding on so many levels.

I’d also like to add that at some early stage you will want to start looking into studies or articles on the decriminalisation of sex work. You may face at least some inner or societal struggle, and this information will really help you frame what is happening to you and sex workers at large.

What is the best advice you can give to those looking to find a Dominatrix?

A very useful question. Personally, I think it is a good idea to think about what you want exactly. Are you a foot fetishist to the core and not interested in a D/s dynamic? Are you a beginner who doesn’t know where to start? Are you hungry for a meaningful D/s exchange?

Often, you might already know this by the porn you watch or the fantasies you have. If you need to tease it out, perhaps fill out an interests and limits worksheet. I really like the ‘BDSM Limits Worksheet’ by Michelle Fegatofi. It’s an extensive list, but by the end of it you’ll have a much clearer idea of where you stand on many, many kinks.

Once you have this in mind, either visit a reputable premises, and take your time to communicate what it is that you’re looking for to the receptionist/Dominatrices, or take some time to do some research on Twitter, listings, and forums for a Dominatrix that you think may match with your interests. Then, politely approach them in the way that they ask. Remember to please respect both the time of the premises and independent Dominatrices.

If you are searching for greater compatibility, I would suggest that you again take your time and further investigate social profiles, websites, and testimonials. There is so much information available these days, and many Dominatrices will clearly state their specialities and interests.

Again, I cannot reiterate enough to please respect the time and any protocol required in your initial contact. This will likely influence the tone of your actual session and the potential for any ongoing relationship.

Also for you, do at least a little Google search into the decriminalisation of sex work. It may help you if you have any qualms about the industry – and even if you don’t, it would help us a lot if you had a better sense of what we are up against. Thank you.

What is the best advice you can give to those looking to enter into any kind of D/s relationship?

As with any relationship, I would say get the best understanding that you can of who you are, how you operate, your needs and limits, and then do your best to communicate all of these from the get- go. As people in the Kink Community, we have the advantage of negotiation and consent being something popularly inherent to our interactions. So, take advantage of it. I wish you the best!

Also, please, please ensure that respect is mutual. Contrary to a novice belief, a Dominant that does not respect you and/or your needs or limits is disaster waiting to happen. If disaster is your thing, then this can also be negotiated by an experienced Dominant – and will be more sustainable long-term.

What is the most fun part about owning slaves?

I get to play all the time! This isn’t only in the sense of the physical, but in my words, mood, and my everything. Dominance and play is so deeply inherent to my personality, but it never got much chance to unleash itself before my life now. I now have a select circle that deeply understand who I am, and that play well with it or know how to give it space when it needs it. Thank you slaves.

I am also so blessed that my circle looks after so much for me. I don’t have to worry about anything day to day or long- term. Because of this, I can deeply relax into my personality and the small things that bring me joy, which is beneficial for everyone in the end of course.

Any closing words?

Just thank you Kink Weekly! I have been reading you for years now and I am really thrilled to be able to speak to you. You’re a fabulous resource and I appreciate the words that you share with the community very much. All the best!

About Mistress Eva

Mistress Eva left a storied corporate past to pursue professional domination in 2012. She began her training at the Salon Kitty’s dungeons in Sydney, Australia – and has since built an international career as a Professional Dominatrix.

Mistress Eva runs an online slave training platform, youwillpleaseme.com. She is now semi-retired in Bali and tours monthly to Singapore (singaporedomme.com) and Hong Kong (hongkongdomme.com).