Although this might astonish you, I have known a number of people who practice self-bondage. Those who I have spoken with tend to do it on the lighter side. All seem to be in agreement that self-bondage cannot be as edgy as with a partner. Not only does “going light” eliminate a lot of danger, but it also gives you something to look forward to when you finally find a Master or Mistress – if that is your aim. It appears that self-bondage is a great way to keep you in bondage mode between Tops, much the same as masturbating when you are between sex partners.
That said, I have a few ideas that I have culled from these self-bondage practitioners; there seem to be many BDSM activities that work well in “solo mode.” Wax play done properly – see our kinkweekly.com article on wax play — really does not need a partner, either for the play itself or for safety considerations. (Other than the danger of fire – so be careful in that regard. Have a small fire extinguisher handy.) Sensory deprivation is also another self-BDSM scene that works well in solo mode. Putting on a sensory deprivation blindfold or mask can be very exciting. And, it entails very little risk. Wearing it for an extended period of time can be quite mind-altering.
Household items like clothespins offer the “self-BDSM” enthusiast the closest thing to an actual scene. Put clothespins on any part of your body and become your own personal pain slut. Once again, there is little danger here; you can take them off as soon as you have passed your pain threshold. If you need a little more pain, nipple clamps come in a variety of configurations. Put the good ole clover clamps on your nipples and you can get easily get into “who needs a Dom/me?” mode. The TENS unit also works perfectly in solo mode – perhaps it is the best of all self-bondage activities. The fact that you have a dial to control the intensity makes you both Top and bottom all at once in TENS unit play. Cupping, too, works well in self mode. Obviously, you do not have to negotiate a safe word with yourself!
No matter how inventive you are, it would be folly to suggest that you could approximate bondage with a Top in solo mode. I would not even entertain that as a legitimate aim. Instead, modify your concept to accept some realistic limitations. If you want to use cuffs, use Velcro cuffs. You can get out of them at any time – that is the beauty of them. Keep in mind you have no safe word – there is no one to hear it. Your “safe word” is your ability to escape your bonds alone. Velcro can be difficult to open – but far from impossible.
When it comes to ropes, you have to be careful. Tying ropes too tight can be risky even in a two-person scene, let alone in solo made. One good technique is to use karabiners instead of knots. (Karabiners are metal rings with a spring clip used in mountaineering; you can get them at a sporting goods store for about a buck each.) Cut various lengths of ropes and tie karabiners securely to the ends of each. Kind of like a bondage jigsaw puzzle, you can tie yourself up very thoroughly – but you can also click open a karabiners at any time to free yourself.
Clearly, none of these self-bondage scenarios can be considered “hardcore.” But, they can be very stimulating and entail little risk. Remember, you are alone and have no safety net – other than your cell phone — should something go wrong; the less inherently risky the play, the better.
Surprisingly, self-bondage has many practitioners – and, if you are one of them, you now know you are not alone. Remember, being both Top and bottom at the same time can be a bit confusing. Talk about “Topping from the bottom!”
After a ten year run as head writer for the legendary bondage.com, and an equally long run as the host of the hit internet show “Baadmaster’s Dungeon,” we are pleased to welcome the one and only Baadmaster to KinkWeekly. His thoughts about all things BDSM will now appear regularly on these pages. From the mental aspects of D/s to the nuts and bolts of S&M play, Baadmaster will cover every facet of this ever expanding lifestyle.