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Transitioning To The BDSM Lifestyle

January 10, 2021 By Baadmaster 2 Comments

naked male sub bound
via stock.adobe.com

I was speaking to a woman who said she wanted to explore BDSM.  She claimed to be a total newbie, although I doubted it.  Nevertheless, she asked me a question that I thought would be great for the ASK BAADMASTER series here on kinkweekly.com . So without any covid-19 talk for a change, here is her question.

Reader:  I AM A VANILLA WHO HAS BEEN READING A LOT ABOUT BDSM.  IT EXCITES AND INTRIGUES ME.  BUT WHEN I ACTUALLY TRY ANYTHING – EVEN THE MOST RUDEMENTARY SELF BONDAGE — I GET VERY DEPRESSED.  FURTHERMORE, I MET A REAL TIME DOMME ONLINE AND WHEN SHE TRIED TO INSTRUCT ME AND PERFORM SOME ROPE TIES, I STARTED TO CRY. SHE LIVES NEAR ME BUT I HAVE AVOIDED RE-MEETING HER. AM I JUST A WRONGF FIT FOR BDSM?  AM I DOOMED TO LIVE IN THE VANILLA WORLD.  HELPPPP!

They say everything has a purpose. Surely your internal being (for want of a better term) wants you to “improve” on your vanilla life.  And it appears that you want to “transition” from your vanilla lifestyle to one that appeals to you.  Most of us here have had to make that transition; very few of us are born “Oh great and wonderful Master or Mistress.”

And many here have not made this transition without some pain or doubt.  Fortunately, most of us were able to interact with lifestylers in the many social events that most cities offer.  Instead of social events, we have social distancing.  Not a good formula for making a smooth journey from vanilla to BDSM.  Add into that, you have given me little information as to your vanilla situation; I know not whether you are single or married, whether you have freedom to explore and other important life factors.  But I can give you some general advice that you can build on, so when the social aspects of this lifestyle return, you will be ready and not crying. (Unless crying is part of a scene or play.)  I will offer a half dozen essential questions that you should answer to facilitate your entrance into the real time world of BDSM.

  1. Are you depending on BDSM to be an escape from your current malaise?  Answer: I would not put all your escape eggs in one basket.  Examine your vanilla life and try to see the good in it so that you don’t approach BDSM out of  a sense of desperation.
  1. Don’t ask your vanilla friends for advice nor tell them you are going “bondage.” I once told an acquaintance that I was exploring BDSM.  He replied, “So you beat up your girlfriend?” Misconceptions abound, especially about this kinky world.  Best to keep it to yourself unless you find a vanilla friend of a similar mindset to you.  I might add that your soaking up all these misconceptions that fill the media could surface when someone flogs you or ties you up.  This could be the reason for your tears.
  1. Why throw away my support system? In this hypothetical example, you are not; you are merely electing to not use your vanilla friends (except for the occasional one who understands you deeply) as your support system.  Over time, you will find like minded people to emotionally ground you.  Best adage/advice: “Rome wasn’t built in a day.”  This transition will take time.
  1. Use this “no fun” respite to study as much as you can.  Learn about yourself.  Are you a Domme or a sub or a switch?  What play  excites you the most?  Are you into pain?  As Socrates wrote, “Know thyself.”  As BaadMaster opines, “Use Google.”  
  1. Important: analyze the play that brought you to tears.  For example, you might have had a bad experience in “vanilla choking”, thus being choked in a scene might bring out bad – or even unconscious — memories that make you cry.  Go over all the scenes you plan and avoid activities that make you uncomfortable.  You are under no obligation to try everything nor do things against your judgment – whether you are a Domme or sub.
  1. Finally, in the “I can’t believe BaadMaster recommends” advice, I would ask you to rent “Fifty Shades of Grey”  Granted it is very fanciful; the BDSM is often idiotic.  But it will put you in the mood for your new bondage adventures.  And it is always good for a laugh or two.

In closing, being a woman navigating a new lifestyle is tough enough, even if you have a support system.  And soon, I hope, when the dungeons and the socials re-open, you will find new friends and a new support system.  For now, following my six principles should make your transition a smooth one.


After a ten year run as head writer for the legendary bondage.com, and an equally long run as the host of the hit internet show “Baadmaster’s Dungeon,” we are pleased to welcome the one and only Baadmaster to KinkWeekly. His thoughts about all things BDSM will now appear regularly on these pages. From the mental aspects of D/s to the nuts and bolts of S&M play, Baadmaster will cover every facet of this ever expanding lifestyle.

Tagged With: bdsm, bdsm community, bdsm play, bdsm relationship, bdsm scene, bdsm toys, bottom, breath play, dominant, fetish, impact play, kink, power exchange, Spanking, submissive, Top

This week in kink: September 7, 2020

September 5, 2020 By Desdemona 2 Comments

Into impact? Curious about being spank? Have a burning desire to consensually spank a partner?

Then you should check out this awesome list of paddles from Refinery29! Click below to learn more!


If you’re into documentaries and/or sex you won’t want to miss this extensive list of Netflix’s best sex documentaries brought to you by Decider After Dark.

Click below to get your sexual learning on!

https://decider.com/2020/08/28/best-sex-documentaries-netflix/#/


Fascintaed by Shibari?

If so, definitely check out this awesome article on Tension, Montreal’s Shibari studio!

Click below to learn the studio’s protocols and what they have to offer!


Have some kinky news to share? Tell us about any upcoming BDSM events, new products, dungeon openings / closings, kink in mainstream media, and anything else you think kinky folks might be interested to hear about. Send your tips through to kinkweekly@gmail.com, and it might just end up on next week’s “This Week in Kink.”

Tagged With: bdsm, bdsm play, bondage play, fetish, impact play, rope bondage, rope bunny, sex, shibari, Spanking

Erotica: What is a Gallipot? (A piece of Arlyn: Adjutant & Apostle)

August 16, 2020 By Dame TylerRose. 2 Comments

sexy Domme with whip
via stock.adobe.com

“Would you like to see a Gallipot getting a good working over?” he asked.

“What’s a Gallipot?” she asked.

“A pain slave who enjoys the harshest, roughest, most excruciating of pleasures. It’s quite something to watch.”

“They like it?” she asked, thinking of Segat’s pain slaves. 

“Tremendously. I’ve seen women squirt their juice three feet in orgasm and men with cocks so raging hard they turned purple before ejaculating.”

“How do you watch this?” she blurted in shock for the description.

“Preferably with a dozen others quietly engaged in their own sexual fun while watching. We pay to get in but we’re in our own roped off section. No one can touch you. Well, except me. But I won’t, I promise. It’s all very civilized.”

“Don’t you have a curfew at the temple?” she asked.

“Do you honestly think I give a shit if I have a curfew? Come on.”

Arlyn suddenly liked him a lot. She followed him through the market and out the opposite side. They walked a stone paved street up a slope and turned right to go farther into the town. Another right and they were in a small gated garden, narrow path leading to a low-roofed entry. The door closed as they reached it. 

“What’s that about?” she asked.

“It means someone just entered before us and we have to wait a moment. It’s fine,” he replied, reaching to pluck a pink flower from a vine wound through a hedge. He gave it to her. “I love these. They’re among the first flowers of spring.”

She smiled, reminded of the day Jacek had given her a flower.

The door in the entry opened and they went in. It closed behind them, the space lit by three oil lamps.

“Welcome. The event has not yet begun. How many are you?”

“One man, one woman. We’d like an upper tier box, please.”

She wore expensive linen clothes in colors that were also expensive to create. Pearl necklace, gold bracelet. This was obviously a lucrative business. Lenden handed her several gold coins and received a numbered slat of wood.

“Do you want a mask?” the woman inside asked, gesturing to a table with a variety of colored masks.

“I don’t,” he said. “But the lady would.”

He looked over them, selected a black and blue eye mask with gold beads and a small blue feather sticking straight up between the eyes. He tied it around her head and took her hand to continue through the corridor to the door at the end. Through it and they were in a cocktail party. Men and women mingled, talking and enjoying wine or whiskey. 

A server wearing a gold ring around his neck with chains down to a gold ring around his cock offered a tray of beverages.

“We would prefer water today,” Lenden said.

The server lifted a cup to her first and then to him and continued on his way. Another server had savory meat delicacies. A third offered candied fruits with a sharp cheese. 

The door opened periodically to let in new arrivals. Her eyes went to it each time, seeing who was coming in. She knew no one, of course, until the one face in the world she would recognize entered the room.

Harmen. He did not wear a mask. He did not have his belongings with him. She knew he liked to visit a whore house now and then while traveling. His eyes met hers across the room, hard and disapproving. He’d seen her come in, had followed to collect her.

Before he could take a single step, Lenden was taking her through the door on the left to go to their box. He showed their numbered slat and they were allowed past.

“Your number, Sir?” she heard behind them as they reached the stairs. “That number is for the floor, Sir. You cannot go up to the boxes.”

“I need to speak with that couple,” Harmen said.

“Then you will have to wait until they come back to this room, Sir.”

She heard nothing more, as they were at the top of the stairs. Another servant in gold collar and cock chains escorted them to the left, to the second open doorway. Going into it, Arlyn first saw the wide, backless sofa with small table in front of it for their cups. Beyond was a ring of similar boxes. One level below, the same ring with one box enclosed.

She saw Harmen enter his box and sit. His eyes met hers, displeased. She decided she would ignore him for now.

“Do you come here often?” she asked Lenden.

“About once a month. They do this several times a week.”

The boxes were full in a moment and the nicely dressed woman came out of the enclosed box.

“Thank you for attending, Marus and Maruals. For those of you who have not been here before, I am Marual Glynn. I will conduct the scene this evening. We are pleased today to exhibit the Gallipot Cadell for your entertainment and arousal. This is a non-participatory exhibition but feel free to enjoy yourselves. As always, please keep talking and other noise to a minimum until the event has ended.”

She went back into the closed box.

“Non-participatory?” Arlyn whispered. “What’s that mean?”

“It means no one from the audience can join the center display but the audience can have sex themselves if they want.”

She clamped her jaw shut rather than utter the ignorant “oh” springing to mind. Looking around the other boxes, she saw several women shedding their clothing, and a few men.

Lamps around the boxes were extinguished, giving the occupants a shadow of privacy while leaving the center ring illuminated. The door opened and a young man of magnificent musculature was led out by that same woman. Following was a nude woman with an arrow quiver strapped to her back. Several rods were sticking out of it, of different shades of green, brown, or tan, made of varying materials. Some were wrapped in leather, others were bare wood or bare bamboo. She knelt with her back to the center.

Behind her was another naked male carrying an ornate wood box. He knelt beside her, lowered the box to rest on his thighs, and opened it. Arlyn could see the shining knives in sheaths in the lid, metal sticks in a tray.

As Cadell reached the center, he lifted his hands to grasp a metal bar hanging from the ceiling. Arlyn saw the scarred designs on his skin. One on a bicep, another on the back of a shoulder, another on a thigh.

The Marual selected a many tailed leather whip. Rather like what was used on a ship, but with many more tails and not as brutal in the construction, she took position behind Cadell. She swung it to the left and right of him, in wide arcs of a figure 8 that levelled out her speed. She brought the piece to the center to strike him with each pass. Fwap, fwap, fwap, fwap, steady and moderately fast, about three strikes per five seconds. Not very hard for the first minute, she increased force but not speed, bringing the whip harder on the downswing. 

Cadell stood solid and unmoving, not even flinching. He was looking out into the audience, bottom and top tiers, and smiled at someone below Arlyn’s box. 

The mop-like flogger dropped to the floor next to the female slave and the Marual grasped a handle to take an implement out of the quiver. A rod about two feet long that she used to strike him from the upper back down to the middle of the ribs, then she skipped over the soft tissue of his waist and took up again from high atop his ass down to just above the knee. Another skip of the knee and she smacked his calves. Down and up, down and up again, she made a good thirty passes with increasing force. His entire backside was pinked, beginning to stripe in welts.

She changed targets, whapping back and forth between his thighs until he had parted his feet as wide as she wanted them. Around to his front and she began to cane his chest and belly. He made not a single sound. Arlyn saw his cock was raging hard. She flinched inside her skin when the Marual smacked his cock with the cane.

She smacked his cock from base to tip, five times in total while he gripped the bars tighter and gritted his teeth. Back to the base, to strike the triangle of flesh above it, then down the length of his erection. He only grew harder. The cane went lower to strike the ball sack hanging between his thighs. It swung like a ball on a tether and she slapped it again, this time with her gloved hand.

It was the gentle stroke of that gloved hand, gripping around his cock, that made him grunt loud enough to be heard.

She stepped away to drop the cane onto the floor next to the flogger. Reaching into the quiver again, she took out a thinner stick that was much more flexible and whip-like. Standing behind him, she swung it to land on his right hip and drag across his buttocks. A slice of blood opened to drip down his behind. She struck again from the left. Arlyn saw the end six inches of the thin reed wrapped around his thigh to leave a deep red welt there before it dragged across his buttocks.

She was familiar with that sensation, if in a wider medium. Harmen’s belt wrapped around her hip like that, it’s folded tip leaving a particularly intense sting. Sometimes the edge of the leather left her marked for a week, he struck with such power.

Ten strikes with the reed-like rod and the Marual paused. The female slave came forward with a wet cloth from inside the box. She wiped down his backside.

“When this is over, will you come to my room with me?” Lenden asked.

She turned her head to look at him a few seconds, then let her eyes sweep across several boxes to see couples engaged in various sexual acts. Mouth were busy between legs, fingers were delving into orifices, hips were at work from behind.

“Why, when we can have sex right here?” she said, reaching down to the buttons of her pants to loosen them.

She stood to push them down and her eyes met Harmen’s. She smiled at him and sat to remove her boots and pants at the same time. Her loose shirt came off easily, was dropped onto the pile of clothing between the little table and the sofa bench. She leaned over onto her left side as he kicked off his pants and shoes and moved in behind her.

“Sure you want to do this?” he asked.

She reached around to grasp his half-hardened cock and stroke it. “I don’t think I’ve ever wanted to have sex more in my life,” she said.

He didn’t ask again, lifting her knee to place her leg over his thigh. She angled her buttocks backwards to give him better access. As the Marual was picking up her next implement, a six-inch-long metal stick, Arlyn sighed out her relief to be filled. Lenden kept himself to an even pace that allowed them both to watch the happenings below.

The Marual slowly worked the slender stick into Cadell’s penis, smiling at his grunts and struggle. With a gesture, she sent the female slave over to lick his cock and suck his balls. She then reached into the box to pull out a coil of leather. Tossing out the end showed the audience a four-foot whip. She snapped back and forth, cracking it. Several in the audience gasped with the sound. Arlyn had a cum, the sound so much like the sound of Harmen’s belt when it landed on her.

“Do you know the man scowling up at us?” Lenden asked.

Arlyn chuckled lightly, lifting a hand to his cheek. “Indeed I do.” She turned her head to whisper. “He’s my priest companion and he approves of nothing. So give it to me good and give him a wink when I cum.”

Lenden choked back a laugh and increased his speed. She quickly had another orgasm and he smiled at the face scowling up at him. He reached around to grip her puss from the front, watching Cadell get a whipping to his back and chest with a mouth slave kneeling under his cock. Arlyn lowered to lie fully on the sofa, eyes closing to enjoy her own pleasures while listening to the shouts from below. 

Cadell could no longer contain his vocalizations. The whip swung and he shouted, and Arlyn sighed with a near-climax. Cadell’s sounds continued, grunts and growls as he worked to regain control over himself. A good minute later, the whip swung again and he shouted again.

“You’ll want to see this,” Lenden said after some twenty shouts. “They’re about to finish.”

Arlyn opened her eyes to see the Marual reach around to grasp the ring at the end of the metal stick. She pulled it out of his penis in a slow and steady single motion. As soon as it was out, the mouth slave went to work. Cadell didn’t need long. Two minutes at most and he let go the bar to grasp his cock and finish off in spurts over the mouth slave’s face and gaping mouth.

Audience members not engaged in sex themselves applauded and the intermission commenced.

Read the rest of Arlyn: Adjutant & Apostle
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07646YM2Z


TylerRose. is known as Dame Tyler in the NYC public SM/Fetish scene. She is an award-winning author who has written two “lifestyle”, four cartoon, and twentysomething fiction books.

Read her books on her Amazon page — https://www.amazon.com/TylerRose./e/B00HCPLSP2

You can also find more of her OP/ED work in Fetlife: https://fetlife.com/users/305828

She enjoys crocheting and baking, and will no doubt die with a thesaurus open on her thigh.

Tagged With: bdsm, bdsm play, bottom, femdom, fetish, impact play, kink, power exchange, sex, Spanking, Top, whip

Bottoms – Do You Have Your Own Play Kit?

August 8, 2020 By Dame TylerRose. Leave a Comment

  • sex toys
    via stock.adobe.com

As a top, I have always liked it when a bottom could hold out a back pack and say “You can use anything in here.” Whether or not I do depends on what’s in the bag, of course. 

If it’s a needle kit or rope, I won’t be using any of it. Not interested. If it’s a Tens unit, I might. I’ve used one of those on myself, for my bad back. 

Butt plugs won’t be used. I don’t put things in anyone’s ass. He can, however, go to the bathroom and slip it in himself. My cane may find the end of it for a number of smacks.

It is a commonly accepted thing. The top will buy the toys, have the toys, care for the toys, etc. Yes, I have quite the collection of things I personally enjoy using on other people. They are never used on me. They can be cleaned. Poppers are given to the person they were used on. But my kit is limited to what I am capable of carrying that day.

That sounds silly, I’m sure; but I live in NYC. I have to carry my kit up four flights of stairs just to begin to get to an event. Then there are another two to four sets of stairs to get out of the station when I arrive.

If I can keep my kit fairly light, bringing only three or four things, and can count on a bottom bringing his own fun things that are specific to him, together we have expanded our play repertoire without either of us relying entirely on the other.

I don’t have nipple clamps, unless you count clothespins or those very nasty clamps with bells (fishing line bell bobbin). I don’t have weights. 

Until recently, I didn’t have wartenberg wheels. I did, however, know a bottom who brought them nearly every time he came to an event I was attending. Through using them on him, I decided to buy my own pair. I’m rather looking forward to meeting up with him again, and using both pairs at the same time. Mine in one hand and his in the other should make for a terrific scene.

I know bottoms who bring their own leg spreader; their own ankle/wrist cuffs, their own penis ropes. Things not used on other people. In this time of plague, having a kit of things to be used solely on yourself is an important investment. You don’t know how clean anyone keeps their kit. You don’t go home with them all to see what they do with their toys after the party. You don’t know how many people have already had it used on them at the party you’re attending. You can’t know.

Protect yourself. You know where your items have been. You know how they were cleaned because you did it yourself.

I used the word “investment”. Some things can be costly. It’s best to build your kit up over time. Keep in mind that a smallish woman may have a hard time handling a monster flogger. Find a more medium sized flogger that is easier to deal with but still gives the impact you want. Canes are easy and can be reasonably priced. There are numerous sellers all over Fetlife, Etsy, Ebay, Amazon. Ban-sticks, in Fetlife, is my favorite. I’ve bought four sets from her, I think. Three sets in different lengths for myself and one set as a present for my former husband.

Clothespins can be thrown away after use if you want. They’re not expensive unless you’ve put in the work and time to dye them.

Raid the kitchen for the wooden spoons or go to the dollar store and buy an inexpensive pack. You can wash and keep them to use again or discard after use. I know people who love the meat tenderizing mallet as well.

Rope. It’s easy enough to put in a pillow case and then into the washer. Cotton line can be put into the dryer. If you’re not doing suspension, cotton clothesline is fine. Don’t let anyone be snobby at you about it.

My point here is to not depend on the top to provide all the toys. 

Plague or not, every bottom should have their own play kit full of fun things they like used on them.


TylerRose. is known as Dame Tyler in the NYC public SM/Fetish scene. She’s been doing this BDSM stuff for over 30 years in private and more than 10 years in public venues. 

She is an award-winning author who has written two “lifestyle”, four cartoon, and over twenty five fiction books that you can find on Amazon. https://www.amazon.com/TylerRose./e/B00HCPLSP2

You can find more of her work in Fetlife: https://fetlife.com/users/305828
FB Fan Page — https://www.facebook.com/TylerRoseGethis/
FB Regular page —  https://www.facebook.com/TylerRoseAuthor

She enjoys crochet, coffee, and baking, and will no doubt die with a thesaurus open on her thigh.

Tagged With: aftercare, bdsm, bdsm play, bdsm toys, bottom, Dame TylerRose., dom, domme, fetish, impact play, kink, master, mistress, Paddles, power exchange, sex, sex toys, slave, Spanking, submissive, Top

This week in kink: September 3, 2018

September 3, 2018 By Desdemona 2 Comments


New to kink? Not new but want to brush up on skills or just enjoy a play party with fresh energy?  CLUB AWAKENING is what you’re looking for!

Club Awakening is a party that was designed for newbies in the BDSM scene.  It’s been a monthly party since March 2016 at Sanctuary LAX.  This party includes 4 set tasting booths plus one surprise booth each month.  The set booths are hands on play (spanking, face slapping, etc), crops/canes/paddles, flogging, and rope.  You can either feel what these things feel like as a bottom or learn how to do these things as a Top – or both!  We even have several volunteer practice bottoms to lend a helping hand (aka butt) so you can practice even without a play partner.  Other volunteers float the venue to answer questions and help point you in the right direction.

There are also 2-3 vendors and a midnight raffle – with multiple prizes to win!  We provide a coat and bag check for a nominal fee as well as a fun photo booth where you can get pics taken of you and your friends to commemorate the night!

You can get DISCOUNTED pre-sale tickets or pay at the door! (see below for links)

About the venue:

Sanctuary Studios LAX is proud to have been named “Best Dungeon in Los Angeles” by TimeOut Magazine – February 2016

Sanctuary LAX is a Los Angeles dungeon located within close proximity to LAX. It features a state of the art, air-conditioned facility completely rebuilt from the ground up under the direction of Mistress Cyan. Formerly known as Passive Arts, Sanctuary Studios LAX is the largest Dungeon in Los Angeles with more than 7000 sq ft. and a 1500 sq. ft. main room. The location features many rooms (both large and more intimate), high ceilings, and a large variety of dungeon furniture.  It is complete with an outdoor smoking patio and a stage in the main room with plenty of seating.

Facebook event page: https://www.facebook.com/events/188674778523235/

Fetlife Club Awakening Group page: https://fetlife.com/groups/138431

Fetlife event page: https://fetlife.com/events/689497

Pre-sale DISCOUNTED TICKETS: https://AwakeningSep2018.eventbrite.com


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Check out these exclusive interviews with sex workers conducted by Shelby Sells to learn about their lives and work

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Have some kinky news to share? Tell us about any upcoming BDSM events, new products, dungeon openings / closings, collarings, kink in mainstream media, and anything else you think kinky folks might be interested to hear about. Send your tips through to kinkweekly@gmail.com, and it might just end up on next week’s “This Week in Kink.”

Tagged With: bdsm, Club Awakening, dominatrix, fetish, kink, KinkD, kinky dating, sex workers, Spanking

How To Give A Spanking

July 30, 2018 By Perverted Podcast 4 Comments

Tagged With: bdsm, bottom, kink, power exchange, scene, sex, Spanking, Top

This week in kink: July 9, 2018

July 9, 2018 By Desdemona 4 Comments

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New to kink? Not new but want to brush up on skills or just enjoy a play party with fresh energy?  CLUB AWAKENING is what you’re looking for!

Club Awakening is a party that was designed for newbies in the BDSM scene.  It’s been a monthly party since March 2016 at Sanctuary LAX.  This party includes 4 set tasting booths plus one surprise booth each month.  The set booths are hands on play (spanking, face slapping, etc), crops/canes/paddles, flogging, and rope.  You can either feel what these things feel like as a bottom or learn how to do these things as a Top – or both!  We even have several volunteer practice bottoms to lend a helping hand (aka butt) so you can practice even without a play partner.  Other volunteers float the venue to answer questions and help point you in the right direction.

There are also 2-3 vendors and a midnight raffle – with multiple prizes to win!  We provide a coat and bag check for a nominal fee as well as a fun photo booth where you can get pics taken of you and your friends to commemorate the night!

You can get DISCOUNTED pre-sale tickets or pay at the door! (see below for links)

About the venue:

Sanctuary Studios LAX is proud to have been named “Best Dungeon in Los Angeles” by TimeOut Magazine – February 2016

Sanctuary LAX is a Los Angeles dungeon located within close proximity to LAX. It features a state of the art, air-conditioned facility completely rebuilt from the ground up under the direction of Mistress Cyan. Formerly known as Passive Arts, Sanctuary Studios LAX is the largest Dungeon in Los Angeles with more than 7000 sq ft. and a 1500 sq. ft. main room. The location features many rooms (both large and more intimate), high ceilings, and a large variety of dungeon furniture.  It is complete with an outdoor smoking patio and a stage in the main room with plenty of seating.

 Facebook event page: https://www.facebook.com/events/245871022658951/

Fetlife Club Awakening Group page: https://fetlife.com/groups/138431

Fetlife event page: https://fetlife.com/events/679247

Pre-sale DISCOUNTED TICKETS: https://AwakeningJuly2018.eventbrite.com


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Have some kinky news to share? Tell us about any upcoming BDSM events, new products, dungeon openings / closings, collarings, kink in mainstream media, and anything else you think kinky folks might be interested to hear about. Send your tips through to kinkweekly@gmail.com, and it might just end up on next week’s “This Week in Kink”

Tagged With: Club Awakening, consent, dominatrix, dungeon, jenn masri, Spanking

This week in kink: May 28, 2018

May 28, 2018 By Desdemona 6 Comments

metallspitze-16x24www.voxart9.com

This week we are featuring an amazing artist named Brian Vox. To check out more of his work click here

About the Artist:

Brian Vox has been creating art for more than 40 years. His work ranges from acrylic to digital paintings and thematically tend to revolve around pinup, surreal, and fetish. Several works include mixed media design with his trademark steel cage-frames or beautiful Shibari rope. His work is darkly sensual. Evoking a beauty that is exciting to the senses. It contains a hint of something unreachable and unnerving, yet the overtone is sleek and erotic. He has always felt that the female forms portrayed have a power and strength. These are not damsels in distress. They are powerful creatures fully exuding their sexual confidence. Sometimes abstract, sometimes photorealistic. His work is intended to please the eye and excite the senses while allowing the viewer to initially question the topic and pull the beholder around and through the subject into a worId of the libidinous imagination.


ricks-1-16x24www.voxart9.com

June 8 at 9pm at Lair de Sade (Los Angeles) Sinister Insight Night is hosting a submissive/slave training, punishment/discipline, reactance/resistance panel moderated by Slave Bunny.

Click Here For More Details.

We hope to see you all there!


thistle-and-silk-18x24www.voxart9.com

Ever wonder why powerful, upstanding men like to be spanked?

Click here to find out why.


fashion-shibari-3-12x36 www.voxart9.com

Pregnancy shouldn’t keep you from doing what you love! Click here to learn how to practice BDSM safely while pregnant.


 Have some kinky news to share? Tell us about any upcoming BDSM events, new products, dungeon openings / closings, collarings, kink in mainstream media, and anything else you think kinky folks might be interested to hear about. Send your tips through to news@kinkweekly.com, and it might just end up on next week’s “This Week in Kink”

Tagged With: bdsm, Brian Vox, discipline, dom, fetish, kink, lair de sade, master, powerexchange, pregnancy, punishment, reactance, resistance, sinister insight night, slave, slave bunny, slave training, Spanking, sub, submissive training

Spanking: Pleasure or Punishment?

November 20, 2017 By Baadmaster 1 Comment

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There is a common question in our lifestyle that if a slave enjoys being spanked, how can it also be used as a punishment? Quite confusing, wouldn’t you say? The corollary question is if the Dominant enjoys administering a spanking, how can he/she be objective when deciding when to administer punishment?

There is a view that is being promulgated (I sound so pedantic today, don’t I?) that says the submissive actually reacts differently to a spanking when it is intended for punishment as opposed to when it is intended for pleasure. Thus, when a slave knows there will be a punishment spanking, the mindset is such that he/she can derive scant pleasure from such an event. I am not entirely convinced that this is the case. Because if there is little emphasis on what the submissive did wrong, then this “punishment” can quickly slide into pleasure mode for the submissive. It is this laxity in pre-punishment preparation – the Top just spanks away – that encourages the notorious behavior known as the “bratty sub.” Here the submissive purposely misbehaves in order to get the spanking he/she so wants so badly. One trick here is to spank in an almost corporal manner. Talking to the miscreant submissive while administering the spanking is the key here. Here is a good script to follow while administering a punishment spanking.

“You know why I am spanking you?”   

“Yes, Master/Mistress”   

“And why is that”

“I was surly to you in public, Master/Mistress” Et cetera.

Making this spanking experience unpleasant – with the Dom/me making his/her displeasure clear — is critical. Still, the pleasure factor can easily slip in when the physicality of the “punishment” tilts toward the enjoyment end.

The reason I am stressing this, is that many Dom/mes like to spank whenever the slave/submissive misbehaves But most Dom/mes also enjoy spanking for the slave’s enjoyment. For example, spanking to put the submissive into subspace. Thus one must make sure that the two types of spanking have decidedly different effects on the submissive.

As for the Dom/me, there should be differentiation too. You should really not enjoy spanking your slave when you punish him/her. There is an old-school expression parents used when they spanked their kids. “This hurts me more than it hurts you.” This should be applicable in regards to the discipline of a submissive. You should not enjoy it so much that you nitpick your sub’s errors as an excuse to punish him/her. Unless you are just into role-play, having a slave means training your slave; and in training the slave the Master/Mistress must always be fair. Even a sadist must differentiate between punishment spankings and pleasure spankings.

Confusing you say? Let me unconfuse you since I have devised an easy way to differentiate between pleasure and punishment. My system is to be familiar with the effects of each implement. The key here is knowing what implement your slave likes and dislikes and in what order. For example, a former slave of mine positively hated the paddle. She could be put into subspace with the flogger, crop, hand or cane. But the paddle not only will knock her out of subspace in a flash, but it will also have the same effect that light has on Count Dracula. It drove her crazy!!! And not in a good way.   

So, in this dynamic, the flogger, crop, hand or cane would be chosen for a fun spanking scene, the paddle would be the perfect instrument for administering punishment. This is, I think, a simple and elegant system for delineating between spanking for punishment and spanking for pleasure.

And since it is a physical system, it is less susceptible to the whims of a mental approach. I offer no guaranties; but give it a try. It just might work for you!

By BaadMaster
After a ten year run as head writer for the legendary bondage.com, and an equally long run as the host of the hit internet show “Baadmaster’s Dungeon,” we are pleased to welcome the one and only Baadmaster to KinkWeekly. His thoughts about all things BDSM will now appear regularly on these pages. From the mental aspects of D/s to the nuts and bolts of S&M play, Baadmaster will cover every facet of this ever expanding lifestyle.

Tagged With: dom, dominant, punishment, Spanking, sub, submissive

My First Public BDSM Scene

October 2, 2017 By sindy_monroe Leave a Comment

play partner

If you asked me that morning, while I sipped my coffee, if I thought I was going to have the confidence to strip down to nothing but my heels and a sly smile, I would have laughed it off as though you were crazy. I had no idea that this night would be the night that I would stand fully naked and bare in front of a room full of people doing things I had only done in secret behind closed doors.

I was still very new to the BDSM scene but with a very capable partner who I had played with privately before. I was fortunate to be invited to a more private dungeon style event, an absolute first for me in every way. Never had I been to a dungeon, walked around freely naked people, much less watched anyone engage in forms of BDSM that I had only watched in the movies or curiously through porn.

I was nervous just to go to this event. Didn’t know what to wear or how to act, but I trusted my partner would guide me through the process. After all, this was definitely not his first, second or even hundredth time. I was in more than capable hands.

As I walked into the dungeon there were already people with articles of clothing removed. I could see a woman sitting nude out of the corner of my eye, sipping water after having clearly just finished a scene that had her smiling and sweating. Her partner next to her was packing up some of the items that were used. I found myself staring at this chest of toys that was being packed away, a little bummed that I had missed what just occurred.

Oh no! Did I stare too long at this couple? They caught my glance and smiled back at me. I didn’t even realize I was smiling! Had I messed up already and broke a cardinal rule?! I smiled back and we continued on.

I tried not to stare at any one person so they wouldn’t feel nearly as uncomfortable as I felt as I walked through the open area. I could hear paddles smacking against bare skin, cries of ecstasy and the faint smell of cleaning products. Although I can’ be sure but I bet I looked like a kid in a candy store.

We stopped and watched a scene that had been going for quite a while before we arrived. She was screaming out as a vibrator was held against her clitorous. Legs quivering uncontrollably, but the man holding the device there did not let up. Wow was this intense!

Just as we began to walk away my partner asked me a seemingly odd question at the time, “Have you ever played with fire?”. I was confused by the question. He could see the look of confusion on my face and started to explain that fire play was a part of edge play that can be very exciting and arousing. He outlined the process in detail as he has for other activities in the past. I was so green to it all and he knew it.

I was instantly concerned about being burned. Before this night, I had no idea that fire could be arousing outside of it just looking really cool and exciting. After some thorough explanations and addressing my concerns, I agreed to participate.

To say I was nervous was an understatement. I grabbed a second glass of wine and sipped it while my partner grabbed his suitcase full of toys that he brought in upon our arrival. I had seen this suitcase before but still had no clue what all it contains. Tonight, it was going to produce an erotic experience with fire. This was new and very exciting!

I finished my wine and my partner asked me to stand. The scene was starting and all I could think was: Am I really going through with this? Was I confident enough with my partner, my body and my self esteem to do this? Answer: yes!

He asked me to disrobe. This was nothing new for us, I’d been naked in front of him plenty. But not in front of all these people, now starting to gather around. I started with my top. Why had I chosen something that takes so long to take off. All I could think was, don’t get your top stuck around your head or trip over your bottoms as you take them off. It doesn’t need to be sexy, you’re not a stripper, but for the love of god, don’t make it weird!

Finally after successfully removing my clothing without tripping, falling or completely embarrassing myself, I presented myself to my partner for approval. As soon as my eyes met his, I began to forget the other people in the room. His gaze upon my naked body and his approval made me feel right at home where I stood. He began giving me instructions like the many times we had played in private.

I was asked to get on all fours on the bench. I knew what was coming. Spankings, my favorite! I knelt there, butt in the air, ready to indulge in his bare hands against my cheeks. He started lightly at first then progressed to the firm swats I’d grown to enjoy since we started playing together.

He paused for a moment and I could hear him pulling new items out of his bag. In an instant, I felt the wind from his flogger. After the first strike against my back, the people watching slowly faded away. My focus was only on my partner and his dominance of me. Nothing else mattered. I didn’t care about people seeing me naked anymore. I was completely comfortable and fully submitted to him. Nothing else mattered.

After he finished, I knelt there on all fours catching my breathe. I was in complete ecstasy. It couldn’t possibly get better than this, could it? I was then asked to stand, hands above my head holding onto the metal bars above me.

He lit the wands and began tapping them against my body. Blowing the heat from the flames against my skin. The fear was there, but an overwhelming sense of trust and arousal began to set in. I watched him tap the wands against my thighs moving toward more sensitive areas. After a few minutes I couldn’t watch anymore. My legs were trembling, my body responding to every touch. I couldn’t believe it! This fire was turning me on.

We continued with more play in this manner followed by more spankings. When it was over, I had no idea how long we had been playing or how many people were watching.

All I knew, is that I wanted to do it again…

Tagged With: bdsm, dom, edge play, fire play, fireplay, Spanking, sub, submissive

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