I remember when I first started my journey in the kink community. After years of just playing in private in relationships, and feeling embarrassed and awkward talking about my BDSM interests, I finally came to my first munch, then another, then a play party. I felt overjoyed that I was speaking with people that shared many of these same interests and desires about bondage, and power exchange, and SM. And they were talking openly about it, and no one was embarrassed!
I had found my people, my tribe, if you will. People who got me. I didn’t have to feel weird any more. OK, I’m still weird. But I found other people who were just as weird, which helped me to feel accepted, and validated, and much more confident to embrace my kinky side instead of feeling ashamed about it.
It took me a while to get here, but now that I’m part of the community it’s wonderful – and the people are what make it. Curious, interesting, funny, intelligent, friendly, welcoming, open, honest, caring. These words describe most of the people that I have met at events in the kinky world – be they from America, Canada, Greece, Australia, New Zealand or England (I’m sure there are nice kinky people from other countries too – I just haven’t met them yet).
With every person who takes that scary first step and comes to their first munch, or confides in a kinky friend that they too might be interested in trying it out, we get a little closer to a world where everyone feels less shamed, and more accepted for their sexuality and kinky interests.
This week is Thanksgiving in America, a time where we reflect on what we are grateful for. But wherever you are in the world, I encourage you to think about your journey into kink and self-acceptance.
Reach out to someone you think might be able to use some encouragement – take them to a munch, or suggest you watch The Secretary together, or tell them about Kink Weekly. Or just open up and tell them a bit about yourself. You might just find that they open up right back. Make it a week of Kinksgiving!
Writer, photographer, hedonist, Dom. After years of at-home BDSM, Dexx finally embraced the kink community and met many fantastic fellow kinksters in the scene. Along the way, it occurred to him that it would be just super if there was a magazine-style web site which catered to people interested in BDSM, and he recruited some of his friends to help create it. Find him here.