Since I have been pretty much bottled up during the COVID19 pandemic, I have not gone to my usual haunts to discuss questions. So I have been going through my email bag to find oddball questions to hold our interest until the dungeons go back in real time. So here goes:
Reader: My purring kitty is sore and swollen after sex. How can I have protected sex without letting my latex allergy interfere with my play time? Help!
The first question I would ask is why, specifically, you are using condoms? Are you in a monogamous (or polyamorous kept within the partners) relationship and are using it solely for birth control? Or are you using them to protect yourself from STD’s? Or is it some combination of both?
If you are using it exclusively for birth control, then there are many other condom materials available other than latex. Lambskin or any of the natural “skin” condoms, although ineffective against many virus-based STD’s, are a very effective barrier against sperm. Polyurethane is also another non-latex condom material — but if you are using it for birth control you must be aware that they break rather easily. K eep in mind,, if you are using condoms primarily for birth control, there are many other ways to go besides condoms. The birth control pill, the Depo Provera shot, female condoms, sponges, the birth control patch are all ways to prevent pregnancy that will avoid any latex allergy. Furthermore, many who use condoms for birth control employ condoms with spermicidal lubricant pre-applied to them. This might be the source of your allergy, not the latex. More about finding out exactly what your allergy is later on.
If you are using condoms for protection against STD’s, then your options are narrower. Polyurethane condoms work but break rather easily. Latex condoms not only protects against STD’s, but also are quite tear resistant. Even the most “sensitive” latex condoms break less often than polyurethane. Thus, latex is the condom of choice when worn for disease prevention.
The symptom you report, “My purring kitty is sore and swollen after sex,” could be caused by many other things besides the latex condoms you use. When one has an allergy, a doctor generally runs tests to determine exactly what the allergy is. One can never assume what the cause is. In your case, the problem can be anything sexual. Big Bruno for one. Or having rough sex with Big Bruno. Or having sex without proper lubrication. Or overly long sex sessions. Any typical rapper could be the culprit. (“I’ll sex you all night long ‘til you can’t walk no more!”) Taking all these possibilities into account, and factoring in the fact that latex allergies are rare except in diabetics, I think that you should test to see if, in fact, you are allergic to latex.
Now this is going to sound more like an answer for a Sex Advisor column than a Ask Baadmaster reply, but what I would do (sly grin), is take a dildo that you know you are not allergic to and put different condoms on it. Use ones with lubrication and those without. Use different brands. Try those with ribs, which can irritate you. Maybe have your partner involved in in your search and call this “research.” Be semi-scientific and take notes of your reaction to each type of condom. (Can you get college credit for this? Maybe not, but a government grant is definitely possible.) Try every combination and you just might find that you are not, in fact, allergic to latex – that there is some other factor involved. Or you might find a condom that causes a small amount of irritation that you can deal with.
There are literally hundreds of types of condoms currently being manufactured. Colored ones, flavored ones, ribbed ones, lubricated ones, large ones and super-large ones. (Condoms come in large, extra large and magnum sizes so that no one ever has to ask for a “small” condom!) Odds are, after you try out a significant number of them, you will find ones that produce either no reaction or a relatively insignificant one.
Disclaimer: this article should not be considered as medical advice. The author is not a medical professional, and any decisions regarding allergies, or the use of sexual protection should be based on the advice of a physician.
About the Author
After a ten year run as head writer for the legendary bondage.com, and an equally long run as the host of the hit internet show “Baadmaster’s Dungeon,” we are pleased to welcome the one and only Baadmaster to KinkWeekly. His thoughts about all things BDSM will now appear regularly on these pages. From the mental aspects of D/s to the nuts and bolts of S&M play, Baadmaster will cover every facet of this ever expanding lifestyle.
yeah definitely something needed to talk about