Can you tell us a little about yourself. What is your background? How did you get started in this industry? How do you identify within the community?
I was born in South London, but made in Cyprus and come from a large Greek-Cypriot family. My family alternated between living in Cyprus and London when I was a child, and I only spoke Greek until I was six years old. My upbringing was sometimes ‘cruel to be kind,’ and it has helped shape the woman I have become today.
I have always, since a child, been headstrong and independent, not wanting to play with dolls like my peers, but wanting more from life, to give more to life, with my spirit and soul. And, you know, that’s what being a Dominatrix means, giving. Not just giving lashes with a whip, or commands with a voice, but giving a part of your soul, and providing a kind of therapy for another human being.
It is an empathetic experience and I have always been an empathetic person. A rebel with a good heart. I ran away from home when I was young, and I suppose I started living the life before I even knew what it was. Then one day, I realised I could start making money from it.
I have now been a Professional Dominatrix and paying my taxes for over fifteen years. I am a well-known and respected figure in the community. My reputation has been earned from my long-standing relationships with my clients, and what I do for them holistically, through my expert, specialist, hardcore sessions. I care about the Fetish Community and promote the events I believe in. People need a safe place to play, and if I can help with that, I will. This is one of the reasons I rent my dungeon and boudoir premises, so players can have access to a safe, clean, and very well-equipped environment.
In my local neighbourhood community in Brighton, I invest in and support independent, local businesses. Through my fitness company, I motivate and train many people to be healthier in their bodies and spirits. I have also worked in security around Brighton, so I would say I am an all-round asset in all community senses!
What do you feel makes for a great Dominatrix? How do you incorporate this/these things into your sessions?
As mentioned previously, you have to be an empath. The sub before you is a human being who has come to you for their own style of absolution. You must be respectful of that, get to know the human being a little, find out what makes them tick, and what their souls and bodies need. Everyone is different and there is no cookie cutter approach. Communication, Psychology, and being intuitive and wise are all key factors. You also have to know your toys and be skilled in the art of using them. An understanding of anatomy and at-least-basic medical training also helps!
Having a killer body, eye-popping wardrobe of latex outfits, and superior dungeon premises all help, but even all that is just fluff if you don’t have the right attitude. That attitude, that je ne sais quoi, is what makes a great Dominatrix – along with bloody hard work! If you are scared of hard work, this job is not for you!
What techniques do you find helpful to separate your work from your own play/personal life?
Simple, I draw the line. When I am at work, I am at work 100%, with all my attention and devotion. When I go home to my family, I switch off. I go off grid. I leave Mistress Dometria at the dungeon, and I go home to be me, with my people and my dogs. I also love to relax through my body building, wrestling, and sport fighting – that is my own personal chill out time, just for me.
What are some red flags to watch out for when meeting a Dominatrix?
One big flag is how well they listen to and make an attempt to get to know and understand their subs. Are they happy to chat beforehand and understand your needs? Do they spend a little cool down time with you afterwards, debrief, let you have a shower, give you a cup of tea, and make sure you are ok for the journey home? If not, red flag!
Always check how much experience they have and how long they have been practicing. Always, without fail, read their ‘about me’ page on their website. It will give you a vibe of who they are and what they do. If they don’t have a website, red flag! Look for videos too, to see the style of their play and work out if it suits you.
Another indication is the cleanliness of the dungeon. This is even more crucial than how well-equipped the dungeon is. An imaginative, excellent Dominatrix is capable of providing an exceptional experience with whatever props are available. However, a dirty dungeon could also give you a life-changing experience, and not in a good way. Unhygienic dungeon premises are a hell into which you do not wish to venture! Plus, if a supposed Dominatrix isn’t even able to look after her premises, how well is she going to look after you?
What makes for a great dungeon? What is unique about your dungeon, Brighton Dungeon?
A great dungeon is about the entire environment – the whole sensory atmosphere, enveloping your sight, hearing, smell, taste, touch, and soul. It has got to be somewhere you can feel safe and secure, and where you feel you are able to let go and unleash your ultimate fantasies. It has also got to be scrupulously clean and hygienic. My premises are exceptionally well-equipped, immaculate, and in high demand for sessions with me, for hire by other Mistresses and Masters, couples wanting to book a kinky weekend away (through my Brighton Erotic Boudoir business), and filmmakers/photographers looking for an exceptional location. I offer a state-of-the-art medical room, a dungeon with just about every toy you can possibly think of, and torture cells. But it’s not all about what you have, it’s what you do with it!
It’s so awesome you’re a two-times world champion body builder. How does this enhance your ability to perform your job? What do you gain personally from body building?
Body building is my chill out time; it’s how I relax. I have spent years sculpting myself, my body, my life, and my soul, to be the woman I am today. This has been and continues to be my passion and my path, to be the very best of myself so I can better look after the people I love. When I am body building, when I am wrestling, I am doing it for me, it is mine – my play.
There are many aspects of fitness training which are complementary to being a Professional Dominatrix. The adrenaline buzz is an obvious one, as is the discipline required. Plus, the more I learn about the capabilities of my own body, the more I understand the capacities of the bodies of others. Plus, the fitter I am, the greater I am at kicking ass!
Can you tell us a little more about your wrestling experience/expertise and how it relates to your role in the Kink Community?
As mentioned above, for me, the two go hand in hand. I must say that I absolutely love shocking the body building community by bringing Mistress Dometria along to play sometimes. For example bringing the biggest, strongest, muscle men down to their knees on stage. A lot of jaws hit the floor, so funny!
Before I started body building professionally, I was already well-known in the scene for being trained in security. So, it has only advanced my reputation as a specialist ever further. People know I am physically strong enough to overpower them and I know how to look after them in the process, so they don’t get hurt. You have to know what you are doing when you are playing with the bodies of other people.
Do your own fetishes get to be played out and explored in your profession?
Well if I didn’t enjoy what I did, I wouldn’t do it. I really love caning and whipping because I feel the instrument is an extension of me, that it is my arm, or my leg, which is wrapping around your body. I get an amazing sense of power back from these experiences, also watching the movements of the player’s body, how their back arches, and how their toes curl. It is a form of art. I also cannot resist ball-busting, I think that has to be a real personal favourite. I just adore it.
I have many fetishes though and they extend into many different areas of my life. It’s not all about the dungeon. And while I have close relationships with many of my players, these relationships are never intimate or sexual. In my personal life, I have never gone out with a submissive male.
How do your core values factor into your job?
Caring about my fellow human beings and showing empathy in my work are big factors. There is something incredibly rewarding about being able to provide therapy, in its various shapes and forms. Through all my wickedness, I do great good. That is how my core values are met through my work.
What is the biggest benefit to being a Dominatrix? What is the biggest challenge?
Being my own boss is a huge benefit, and just being able to be me in my working life. There is an immense freedom which comes with this. However, there is a sacrifice which goes with this freedom, and that is holding true responsibility and accountability for all the subs who visit me. I give a little part of myself to each and every one of them, and that can become tiring if I don’t find the time to recharge and relax.
What is the most fun aspect of your job?
People! The wonderful, weird, wanton and wicked people I get to meet! Everyone has a story, a reason they come to see me. Learning more about them can be entertaining enough in itself, but also adds an extra dimension to the impact of our sessions together.
Would you say you have grown as a person from this profession? If so, how? Have your clients? If so, how?
I have certainly come to understand people better from this work. I have good senses and Psychology training anyway, but getting so up close and personal with people takes it up a level. My experiences have enabled me to be able to see and read people so much more clearly, past their filters and their masks, to who they really are inside. Perhaps they don’t share that part of themselves to anyone else but me?
I would say my clients leave feeling lighter and cleansed after one of our sessions, as though they have been absolved of their sins and born anew.
How important is online publicity/social networking for your continued success?
Networking is important for any business. However, best of all is holding a great reputation by word of mouth and personal recommendations. Social media works to enhance a good reputation, but despite how shiny an online face can look, the substance behind it had better match, as social media can tear you down as fast as it can build you up. What’s behind the curtain, the smoke and the mirrors?
Communication is always important-whether it’s responding to an email in a timely fashion, letting people know not to call you as you won’t answer and to text instead so you can call them back (take heed of the communication guidelines people, they are in place for all of us!), or just staying in touch with people who love and support you and showing them some love in return.
What is the best advice you can give to those looking to become a Dominatrix?
First, ask yourself why you want to become a Dominatrix. If that reason is purely for money, being able to beat another human being, or any form of sex, then I suggest you re-consider your options. Being a Professional Dominatrix goes above and beyond the whips, the latex, and the role play. Being a true, successful, sustainable Professional Dominatrix means being a priest, a psychologist, a nurse, a businesswoman, and an accountant, as well as a Goddess. It is not an easy ride or a fast route to cash. It is a profession, and like all professions, it takes training, focus, dedication, and bloody hard work. Make sure you have the heart, brain, stomach, and training for it – or just play in private.
What other endeavors are you currently involved in and working on?
I always have other businesses and interests to run, as well as the Brighton Dungeon (for sessions with me and select rental), Brighton Erotic Boudoir (whole premises bookings for weekends), my Mistress Dometria boss lady brand (soon with merchandise on offer), my body building career, and my fitness company (where I have produced my own clothing range). I am a busy woman!
Where can people best find out more about you and your work?
You can find out more about me on my websites-all about me, with lots of delicious photos, stories, and news https://www.dometria.com
Take a tour around my dungeon https://www.brightondungeon.com
Check out my entire premises and plan a kinky weekend away with your partner, or book my dungeon space for professional play, photoshoots, or filming: https://www.brightoneroticboudoir.com
Any closing words?
The best way to get to know me is to come and see me!
It has been a pleasure to let you into my world and I look forward to seeing our interview in print!