How to “kink-up” your Valentines Day

February 14th is just around the corner! You know what that means, it’s the one time of year when vanillas go just a little kinky to spice up their bedroom habits! Out come the fuzzy handcuffs and edible lube but here at Kink Weekly, we can do better than that. In honor of the holiday that causes the most fights, proposals, and babies out of the whole year, we present five fun tips for “kinking” up your Valentines Day (suitable for both vanillas and kinksters alike!).

1. Pain can be pleasurable

While I’m a firm believer that most people are either born kinky or not, it can still be fun to explore some new limits. The most common techniques for beginners would be biting and light scratching of the skin. You can get a bit more technical with some nipples clamps-don’t be scared! With the right type of clamps, you can adjust for how much pressure is being applied. Communicate with your partner while you’re applying them. If they are scared, try the clamps on yourself first to show that your nipple does not in fact, fall off from clamp use. Follow up the clamps with some ice, which if you’re not expecting it can almost “hurt” at first.

2. Try some sensory deprivation

For those of you newbies out there-this means depriving your partner of their senses. This can be accomplished by use of a blindfold, ear plugs or ear buds with music, and bondage (you can touch things if you can’t move your arms) just to name a few. Some couples go all out with this theme, creating elaborate and intricate scenes to both terrify and titillate their partners. If this is new territory for you, start with the blindfold. You can still communicate with your partner and then build the scene with different elements from there. You can take advantage of your partner’s limited capacity to explore some sensual play. Use a feather or for the more daring, a light slapper or crop. It all comes in bits and pieces and what you both are comfortable with.

3. Have an open conversation about a fantasy you’ve always had

This all goes back to the open and honest communication we tout on a regular basis in our articles on Kink Weekly. We believe the biggest problem plaguing most mainstream relationships is a lack of honest communication. Instead, people often fall into a trap of not fully disclosing fantasies and desires for risk of judgment from their partner. Tis’ the Valentines season to throw that old and tired thinking out the window. Sit down with your partner and agree to put judgment on the backburner (or completely get rid of it!). Then disclose that deep, erotic fantasy you’ve always had. It doesn’t even have to be very elaborate. Perhaps you’ve always wanted to lick your partner’s feet or maybe you feel your breasts need more TLC the important part is to actually say this out loud and see what happens. No fantasy is too stupid or taboo. I bet you’ll be surprised by what your partner has been keeping from you. For those of you who may be in a heavy D/s relationship or just enjoy kink in the bedroom, this would be a good time to have a relationship inventory to make sure you are both on the same page or discover that your slave is super interested in something they may have seen at a dungeon or online.

4. Go someplace naughty together

This could be as simple as the local sex toy store or if you’re a regular BDSM
player, you and your partner could visit one of the more taboo parties or a swingers club. I know plenty of couples that just enjoy going and watching the “festivities.” In the end, you may find that it’s not for you but it’s fun to try new things with your significant other and will only strengthen the bond you share.

5. Play with food

I know what you’re thinking, zzzzzzzzzz (that’s you falling asleep while reading this). But hear me out! If you have not yet discovered, food can be one of the most erotic or humiliating scene accessories one can use. I mean, imagine being smacked across the face with a limp hot dog or having chocolate sauce licked from head to toe. Those ideas probably elicited very different responses form you. The ideas are limitless. Heavy scenes involving food elements are called “sploshing” –which is a new term to me. Lay out some plastic drop cloths on your bed and get down and dirty. You can make this an erotic experience by using foods you and your partner enjoy or if you really want to be a sadist, use foods that “hurt” like spicy peppers or things that smell terrible. This also gives you a chance to revert back to your childhood self because playing with food is fun! Sploshing also has the added advantage of just being able to hop in the shower when it’s all done. No permanent marks or bruising (though I’ve heard of ways that you could but that’s for another article).

For those of you celebrating, I hope you all have a fabulous Valentines Day with someone rad. We always want to hear about your adventures (and misadventures) so please let us know how it goes in the comments! xo- anniebear 🙂