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The Emotional Side Of Masochism

September 26, 2020 By Joji Sada 3 Comments

sexy male Dominant with wooden paddle
via stock.adobe.com

I am an emotional masochist.

I want to break down the negative connotations to what my statement means.

Traditionally, emotional masochists are those who feel unworthy of respect.  They tend to find themselves in situations that are toxically abusive because they feel they deserve it.  It has been said that there are some who crave the abuse they receive.  Whether this is a conscious or unconscious desire, it is often all they know.

Growing up, and into my early twenties, I was one of those individuals.  I went out of my way for people who would rather spit on me then speak a kind word.  I challenged my own ethics and morals because someone wanted something and “a good friend would help them.”  I’ve used the façade of laughter to cover the cracks in my self-esteem because if those I call friends don’t respect me, why would anyone else?

I come from a loving family.  I was not abused growing up.  However, I was deeply insecure and the pressure to be perfect was often overwhelming.  And I made mistakes that took me years to be comfortable enough to talk about.  I skipped eating and restricted my food to the point that I now suffer from constant stomach issues.  I carved my pain into my skin and the words of my insecurities are still visible to this day.  I controlled my emotions to the point that I can, and have, physically disconnect/short circuit my connections to people.  

These were decisions that bled heavily into my relationships.  And it defined the development of my BDSM.  I did not understand negotiating because my needs/wants don’t matter.  I did not understand communication because if they were angry it must mean they didn’t love me.  I didn’t understand that having an opinion did not make me a bad partner.  I didn’t understand jealousy because any attention my partner showed me “should be enough.”

Essentially, I did not understand BDSM.

So, I connected to what I did understand.  I could learn the proper poses for a submissive.  I could learn the expectations of a Dominant.  I could be of service.  

After all, no one throws out something useful.

I spent most of my life pleasing others with little regard for myself.  Even now, I struggle with the idea that I need to take care of myself with as much care as I do my partners.

With what I’ve told you, it makes it hard to believe that I am proud to be an emotional masochist.

What I have learned first and foremost, I can be whatever I want to be.

I can change the things I don’t like.

So, I’ve changed the definition of emotional masochism.


Masochist: Someone who derives pleasure from physical pain, with or without the involvement of sex.

Emotional Masochist: Someone who derives pleasure from deeply emotional play, such as through means of humiliation, degradation, fear, or consensual non-consent.


I should specify that I do love a good beating.  I enjoy the use of a variety of toys used upon my person at a varying degree of intensity.  I enjoy pushing my limits and my body from time to time.  I enjoy enticing my Sadist into staying creative and keeping me guessing.

But I love being mind-fucked more.

These are the moments that leave me feeling like I’ve run a marathon without ever getting up from my knees.  

I find humiliation to be a liberating experience.  Outside of my dynamic, I refuse to allow anyone to treat me in such a way.  Often, in the vanilla world, humiliation is done maliciously.  In our world, it is done with care and understanding.

I can face the demons that haunt me.  I can seal the cracks in my self-esteem.  I can be strong and weak at the same time.  I can cry my frustration out.  I can growl in anger and defiance without disrespect.  I can bare my soul and explore the parts of me I’ve been told should never see daylight.

I can proudly identify as a submissive, a masochist (physically and emotionally), and a piggie.

I cannot change the years of emotional chaos I put up with long ago.  I cannot change the individuals who whole-heartedly took advantage of me with no remorse.  I cannot change what I allowed to happen.

So, instead, I have chosen to grow from it.  I have chosen to challenge it.  I have chosen to revel in it.

And I am proudly an emotional masochist.


My name is Joji.  I am 29 years old currently and I have been in and around the kink community about 15 years.I am a collared submissive to Magick42.  I am also a Daddy to a wonderful babygirl, and have been for more than three years now and I find it very fulfilling.  I am being mentored in and being taught electroplay.  I am a masochist at heart and thoroughly love impact play, especially caning.  I enjoy reading anything I can get my hands on and am a die hard Harry Potter and Doctor Who fan.  I am also the secretary for a group in Idaho called Moscow S.P.A.R.K.E (Simply Providing Another Route to Kink Education).  It is our mission to teach safe practices to those new to the community and give them a safe haven to ask questions and learn without judgement.  We accept all kinks and all we ask in return is respect between all our members.

Tagged With: bdsm, canes, fetish, impact play, kink, masochism, paddle, power exchange, sadism, sex, toys, whips

Can two switches collar each other?

August 8, 2020 By Baadmaster Leave a Comment

  • hot male submissive in collar
    via stock.adobe.com

In my search for entertaining and unique questions, I have run across many that are ridiculous. But rarely have I encountered a question that initially hit me as joke material, but then, on closer examination, had some very serious elements buried within. The following question is cut from this mold. So, laugh and learn!

Reader: Can two switches collar each other? How would this process work with power exchange? After ten years together, my partner and I would like to make our commitment outwardly clear, but we’re unsure as to the steps for our specific combination. We’re new to the BDSM community, and so any advice you can give us will be greatly appreciated.

First of all, after you are finished laughing at two people collaring each other, let’s make a distinction between a play collar and a commitment collar.

In a play collar situation, the answer is pretty obvious. All you have to do is negotiate who is the Top and who is the bottom for the scene, and the Top puts the play collar on the bottom and the scene proceeds. Unless you want to switch in the middle of the scene – or at five-minute intervals – this will work out just fine. It is when you are considering a real (for want of a better term) collar – one that implies a D/s relationship – where a little more thought is required.

The key thing to remember is that, in this case, collaring means commitment.Of course, since collaring evolved out of the term “slave collar,” it does have D/s implications in it. But, to me, the commitment aspects seem far more critical than any Dominant/submissive facets of it. As all of our BDSM rituals are not strictly codified, and are loosely based on an oral tradition that dates back to the Old Guard Leather Societies, there are no hard and fast rules for collaring. Thus, I see no valid reason why the two of you cannot be collared to one another.

BDSM is a constantly evolving lifestyle. The question is how best to go about it.As I see it – and this is new territory for me — you should figure out a way to preserve the “slave collar” tradition and adapt it to your personal situation. And here is my suggestion. Try to figure out which of you is the more dominant partner. Surely, as switches, you do not switch exactly fifty percent of the time. (Possible, but unlikely.) In your life, there must be a hierarchy that gives one or the other a bit more dominance or a bit more submission. Or, you might want to see which of you is more dominant or submissive in play.

After ten year together, you should have a feel for the dynamics, no matter how subtle the distinction might be.Using either criterion, the more dominant partner can offer the more submissive one the collar. This keeps it within the basic D/s framework. And if you are contemplating a ceremony with lifestyle friends, they will be more concerned with the commitment part of the ceremony than the personal Dom/sub components of your relationship on a day-to-day basis.You might also find that having a contract — although in your case it would not be a typical “slave contract” — might add a bit of clarity to the breadth and scope of your BDSM relationship.

I am a big advocate of contracts; a contract would be a useful adjunct to your collaring. Besides, the negotiations involved with contracts can be incredibly enlightening.In general, my personal problem with collars is with the Velcro aspects of them, not the nuts and bolts of who is collaring whom. I see far too many collars that are shorter lived than a Hollywood marriage. I could care less if a collared couple does not maintain a D/s dynamic that is consistent.

Let them switch, let them have vanilla days. My concern is that the collar truly means commitment. And in your case, as a ten-year couple, it seems that you have the commitment thing down.So go out and have a great ceremony. There is nothing more beautiful than to see a collaring ceremony witnessed by lifestyle friends. Especially when you know that it is a truly meaningful collar.And in your case, it sure seems like this collar will be on your — or your partner’s — neck for a long time.


About the Author

After a ten year run as head writer for the legendary bondage.com, and an equally long run as the host of the hit internet show “Baadmaster’s Dungeon,” we are pleased to welcome the one and only Baadmaster to KinkWeekly. His thoughts about all things BDSM will now appear regularly on these pages. From the mental aspects of D/s to the nuts and bolts of S&M play, Baadmaster will cover every facet of this ever expanding lifestyle.

Tagged With: baadmaster, bdsm, bdsm play, bottom, collar, cuffs, dom, domme, femdom, fetish, master, mistress, power exchange, sex, slave, submissive, Top, toys

Review of Fresh Fetish

September 17, 2018 By kinkweekly 3 Comments


Recently, Fresh Fetish generously sent me two items: their heart-shaped leather paddle and stainless steel collar with leash.

When I first opened the box I was immediately impressed by the look of their products. They looked polished, clean, and like they could be a lot of fun during play. I especially was intrigued with the leash attached to the collar. I felt that was a very nice detail to include that could be used in a bunch of different ways during scenes. I also appreciated that the collar was lined with rubber for added comfort and was adjustable.

When I wore the collar, I found that it provided just the right amount of tightness. It felt almost like a gently choke, which I in fact like. In my opinion, the collar is best put on by a partner (it worked best when my Master put it on me). All in all, it was fun and sexy to wear and added a hint of breath play that I enjoyed.

However, for those that do not enjoy breath play, I would not recommend any collar that fits snugly. Depending on the situation, I may not recommend a collar in general.

As for the paddle, it’s very cute and sexy all at the same time because of the heart and the black leather. It created a slapping sound when it hit my skin and I felt a very pleasant swatting/snacking sensation. It felt to me more like the stinging kind of impact as opposed to a thud. It’s definitely a very versatile implement. When my Master dragged it along my skin it felt very soothing and relaxed me (because of the leather), but when my Master hit me at my threshold for pain it provided an intense impact that I crave as well.

The paddle is a good size too. It would be great for over the knee paddling, and for people that are carrying their toys to the dungeon.

Marks lasted for a couple hours after, and I would imagine (since I am not the heaviest of masochists) that they could last even longer if the individual were to consent to be paddled harder than I was.

All in all their products looked sharp, sleek, and definitely are something that I would recommend, especially if you are looking for quality items that won’t hurt your wallet.

Feel free to check out their website below.

https://freshfetish.net/


About The Company

We are a manufacturer of finely crafted adult products. We specialize in Stainless Steel, Silicone Rubber and Leather products. Our steel products are fabricated using state of the art machine tools and finished with a proprietary process that results in a brilliant and durable finish. Although you may see designs similar in appearance to ours, we have customized all of our designs for quality, ease of use and durability thus making them unique. Our products are sold through our online store and other online sales platforms in additions to events and fairs.

Tagged With: bdsm, fetish, Fresh Fetish, kink, play, power exchange, sex, toys

The Making of Latex

May 28, 2018 By Latex 101 3 Comments

The Making of Latex 101 from Latex 101 on Vimeo.

Tagged With: bdsm, dom, dominatrix, fetish, kink, latex, latex fetish, lingerie, master, mistress, play, powerexchange, sex, slave, sub, toys

NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS, 2018

December 11, 2017 By Baadmaster Leave a Comment

new-year-2841114_640

Although New Years Eve is a couple of weeks away, it creeps up on you faster than a Ninja on speed. I remember when Prince was singing about 1999, I thought 2000 would never come. I was so wrong. Soon it will be 2018. Thus I will submit my usual kinkweekly.com New Years Resolutions a little early.

I will skip the ones that everyone makes and usually ignore – to go to the gym, to lose ten pounds and to eat healthier. Instead I will offer three BDSM-related resolutions, which will give you some ideas to keep your play sharp and your relationships fresh.

Resolved: to respect tradition. In this fast-paced world, it is sometimes tempting to cut corners and forget traditions. For example, I have always been a proponent of a “go slow” approach with respect to collaring. Although I don’t believe you must literally follow the three stage (consideration, training and formal) Old Guard collaring sequence, one should not be hasty where collaring is concerned. A number of years ago, I tried rushing the sequence and the results were not good. This is not to say that, were I to have gone slow, things would have worked out. But at least I would not have violated some principles that I have stood for all my BDSM life. They say confession is good for the soul; but this admission is more than that. I might help others with this cautionary tale. The reason the collaring process has stood the test of time is that the lifestylers who have appreciated it have found it to be a rock solid system. Those who use Velcro collars most often find that “castles made of sand fall into the sea, eventually.” My first BDSM New Year’s resolution is to respect our traditions – and collaring is only one institution being ignored in our post-Fifty Shades world. Respect and promote as many BDSM customs as you can before all have disappeared.

Resolved: to learn three new forms of BDSM play. There is a tendency for all of us to get complacent. We have a bag of tricks that serves us well and we get comfortable with them. Problems arise when we get bored or, even worse, walk through our play sessions on autopilot. There is nothing like a new technique to get our juices flowing again. Just peruse the BDSM play articles right here on kinkweekly.com and you will find many areas of play that you might have overlooked. Expanding your fields of expertise is always a good way to keep your play fresh and exciting.

Resolved: to buy a new BDSM toy once a month. Although most resolutions are easy to let slide, this one is simple enough to uphold. After all, the upside is awesome, yet it requires little effort. After all, isn’t the number one reason New Year’s resolutions fail is because they require too much work? Well this one is a snap. With the Internet, you can buy toys without leaving your home. And, what better way to add excitement to your play than by ordering a new flogger, a new cane or a new insertable for your toy collection on a regular basis? This is one New Year’s resolution that is a surefire hit – and it doesn’t require any sit-ups or starvation!

Usually, most of us ignore our New Year’s resolutions after two or three months. In the case of these BDSM promises, even if you let them slide after a few months, you have a bunch of new toys and some fresh techniques. And, if you adopt my personal resolution to respect BDSM traditions, how can you lose?

In this New Year, maybe you won’t lose ten pounds – but if you follow my lead you will improve both your BDSM play and your relationship!

By BaadMaster
After a ten year run as head writer for the legendary bondage.com, and an equally long run as the host of the hit internet show “Baadmaster’s Dungeon,” we are pleased to welcome the one and only Baadmaster to KinkWeekly. His thoughts about all things BDSM will now appear regularly on these pages. From the mental aspects of D/s to the nuts and bolts of S&M play, Baadmaster will cover every facet of this ever expanding lifestyle.

Tagged With: bdsm, play, resolutions, toys

anniebear Interviews Demonic Toys

September 12, 2017 By anniebear Leave a Comment

anniebear sat with SirBerus, owner of Demonic Toys to discuss his methods, materials, and why Demonic Toys is an up and coming contender in the BDSM toy market.

Owner and creator of Demonic Toys, SirBerus
Owner and creator of Demonic Toys, SirBerus

anniebear: SirBerus, owner of Demonic Toys- we’re always really excited to interview people that have really cool toys to play with in the scene.

SirBerus: Thank you so much for interviewing me! It’s great to be a part of Kink Weekly!

anniebear: Tell me about Demonic Toys. What type of toys do make? Do you use any specific materials?

SirBerus: Demonic Toys is all made from steel materials. The Devil’s Lollipops are made from circular saw blades either in 7 ¼, 10 , or 12 inches in diameter and then a solid steel handle that is attached through a steel stem. The handle itself is hallow to reduce weight. We also make theCandy Pain which is a solid steel rod cane. I was trying to come up with names and the first one I made had a candy cane stripe so the Candy Pain was created.

A Candy Pain
A Candy Pain

anniebear: Genius! (laughs)

SirBerus: Of all the things that we make the easiest one to name was The Devil’s Lollipop. I came up with it because of the little lollipops that are similar to SadiSticks, these just almost seemed like an over sized version except on steroids and a lot more aggressive. So the first thing that came to me was the Devil’s Lollipop. Everything Demonic Toys makes is all hand made out of steel, there’s nothing done with robotics or precut or pre-fabricated. Each one is unique. That has its pluses and minuses. The minuses being I can never duplicate them exactly. All my saw blades are recycled used blades. Trying to take things that people would normally throw away and re-purpose them and the problem with that is when a client says “I really like that specific saw blade”, well, it might be a blade style that I no longer have.

annibear: Being that you use actual saw blades for the toys do all of your toys have the potential to cut skin when you use them?

SirBerus: I make sure to grind the edges down before they’re painted. They still have enough of an edge to enhance sensation play. It’s a lot like knife play if you’ve dulled the blade a bit, this is the best way I can explain it. I try not to make them too sharp. The same way you wouldn’t want a knife to be razor sharp for knife play, you wouldn’t want one of my saw blades razor sharp either. You have the safety to run it along somebody’s skin even in a relatively sensitive area like the sides or thighs and not have to worry about barely touching them and cutting them.

Wry shows off his new Demonic Toys paddle at DomCon 2017
Wry shows off his new Demonic Toys paddle at DomCon 2017

anniebear: We were so happy to see you showing off your things at DomCon a few months ago. It looks like you had some pretty wicked stuff going on there with Demonic Toys. I know that you have a history and experience with metalworking, is that correct?

SirBerus: Yes, actually I am a welder and metal fabricator by trade. I got requested and told by a number of people including my submissive, Jenn, to try and make something unique and different out of metal. I thought about it for a while and if I made anything I wanted it to be more than a single use item; something that could be both impact and sensation or vice versa or have multiple uses. The first one I made I did as a joke and everyone seemed to go absolutely ballistic when I pulled it out. That was the very beginning.

anniebear: That’s great! It’s really fun when you can merge something you already know how to do into something that’s more fun like a hobby, so it sounds like a perfect marriage.

SirBerus: Absolutely! It definitely allows me to have the creativity to play around with metal work as well. I am far from a professional painter but it allows me to put that creativity into paint work for the designs and seeing people’s reactions and seeing the “oos and aahs” as well as “holy crap!” that comes from people seeing it for the first time. This always makes me smile.

anniebear: That’s wonderful, it sound very rewarding. So I saw a lot of your toys at DomCon. What would you say some of your favorite pieces are that you’ve created so far?

SirBerus: I’d have to say the original Devil’s Lollipopis still my favorite because it was the first one I made. I decided to put a whole lot of extra time into the paint job, just to see how far I could push myself. Because of that paint job plus the fact of it being the original prototype, that one is definitely my favorite. Other than that I’d have to say the Death Star paddle I made for a client was probably one of the hardest but most rewarding. Follow that up with one of the first custom sets I made. I made a Devil’s Lollipop and Candy Pain both in black and pink for Sir Pent. It was hard and took a lot of work but the reward that came from it was amazing.

Custom Death Star paddle by Demonic Toys
Custom Death Star paddle by Demonic Toys

anniebear: I was personally a big fan of the Death Star paddle. I saw it when you were just about finishing it up. It was impressive. How long do you think it took you to make that?

SirBerus: To make it took about four hours and the paint job took almost six total hours. So about ten hours of work!

anniebear: That’s amazing! It just shows how careful and meticulous you are with your work.

SirBerus: Yes, when it was first brought up to me as a custom job my first thought was, “There is no way that I’m making a Death Star from hand!” All of my stuff is one off. Even if I wanted to I couldn’t duplicate it 100%. So the concept of doing the Death Star was just mind blowing. (sentence removed) I decided to try and step it up and see if I could do it. A lot of friends suggested I just buy a vinyl sticker and stick it on there and clear coat it, but in my opinion it takes away from the company. I state that everything is done by hand and everything is a one off piece, anyone can stick a sticker on there. I wanted to step up to the challenge. It definitely was the most strenuous paint job I’ve done to date, but also the most rewarding.

Devil's Lollipop
Devil’s Lollipop

anniebear: On a more personal note how long have you been in the lifestyle?

SirBerus: I’ve actually been in the lifestyle and really embraced it for about a year and a half. I actually have to give a big shout out to my submissive Jenn because I always kind of had this feeling I was kinky and kind of felt off on my own island away from my friends when it came to this stuff but I didn’t know about the scene until we started dating. It was kind of overwhelming when we started dating and I became her Sir. It wasn’t until I truly embraced everything that the Demonic Toys idea took shape.

anniebear: That’s amazing, considering that you’re relatively new to the scene, to come out with this whole line of toys and torture implements is pretty incredible.

SirBerus: Absolutely. A lot of people have raised eyebrows when I actually tell them how long I’ve been in the scene. I’ve been told by people they thought I’d been in the scene anywhere from four to ten years, which kind of makes me laugh. Not laughing in a negative way, but I take it as a compliment, I wish I could say I’ve been in it that long. For how much it’s brought me off “the island”and allowed me to meet people that make me feel like the things I enjoy and the things I like aren’t weird and aren’t taboo is a great thing. So I want to find a way to have something new to contribute to the community. I think about how my submissive Jenn is so involved in the community and teaches and everything else, I want something to give back as well. I want something that nobody had seen before. There are so many toys that are great but they’re almost so similar between companies I want something that is really going to make your eyes pop, make you really take a step back and think about what you saw.

anniebear: That’s a really good motivation to start a company such as yours as a way to give back and still be creative at the same time.

SirBerus: It’s definitely been one of my favorite things. It’s been a huge motivator to see people’s reactions and partially to hear how nobody seems to take the same toy the same way. A lot of the time with a specific toy it’s either stingy or thuddy and everybody pretty much agrees. I can take the same Devil’s Lollipop and hit three different s-types and get three different reactions. One will say it’s stingy, one will say it’s thuddy, and one might say it’s a little of both! Then you add the fact that its got sensation play on the edges as well as conducts electricity. The Candy Pains do the same thing, but they’re deep tissue instead of what you think of a cane as giving a really sharp, stingy sensation. So I love seeing people’s reactions when they think it’sgoing to be the most viscous thing to hit their skin and then they try it and realize wow, I actually enjoy that and it wasn’t nearly as vicious as I thought. Obviously how the Top uses it will determine how vicious it can be.

anniebear: It sounds like a lot of fun. I imagine you had to maybe enlist the help of your submissive to try out some of these new toys before you started selling them.

SirBerus: Yes, she definitely got to try them out. Luckily,with people at her BDSM 101 class along with a few other people, I got to hand them off and get opinions from multiple different s-types and bottoms to get their opinion on them, along with Jenn’s. That’s really where I realized everyone feels it differently. Where she thought it was thuddy, someone else thought it was stingy. That personally made me smile because no one is going to say the same thing. This is just the beginning and I really truly hope people like all of the toys. There are a few more toys in the works that are soon to be rolled out to the public. I’m hoping that people see these and see it the same way that I do. That it’s a multiple use toy that is quite unique and they enjoy it for what it is and love using it.

Update: Demonic Toys has released two new toys since this interview was taken – the Devil’s Tongue and Lillith’s Lollipop. Check them out on DemonicToy’s profile on Fetlife!

Tagged With: Demonic Toys, impact play, interview, scene ideas, toys

Top 5 List of Beginner Toys and Types of play

April 24, 2017 By Jenn Masri 3 Comments

A great sensation play toy-the chain ball tickler
A great sensation play toy-the chain ball tickler

From the title of this article you may have assumed that you would find a list of specific toys that are great for beginners. However, since I like to keep readers on their toes – that is not exactly what you are going to get. I will reference specific toys of course – but the list is written with a broader stroke of the brush. Enjoy…

1) Hands
In my opinion your hands are the best implements you have. They are also quite convenient – no need to remember to pack them or find space for them. Although cleaning is still essential! Lol You can do so many things with them – spanking, punching, pinching, tickling, squeezing, pressure points, scratching, massage, hair pulling, face slapping….the list goes on and on! They can be used in a sensual way, for sexual touch, light to heavy, thuddy, or stingy.

2) Toys with shorter length
In general, if you are using toys that you don’t feel like you have control over or you’re having trouble with aim and precision, it could be the length. This is especially true when a toy has flexibility .When you are choosing toys look for things that aren’t as long. For floggers this could mean shorter falls, shorter handle, or both. Shorter crops or straps with more handle than body. If you already have toys that seem a bit too long then try “choking up” until it gets more comfortable. Even with standard handle floggers you can hold the top of the handle (closest to the falls) rather than the end or middle of the handle.

3) Sensation toys
Play isn’t all about impact or other implements or types of play that require more skill and practice. Use things to create different sensations. One thing that’s great is going back and forth between sadistic and pleasurable sensations. Use things like feathers, wartenberg wheels, fur, water, ice, etc. These are wonderful to use in scenes whether you are leaning on them to make up for skill level or if you are a very experienced player! A scene doesn’t need to be all about “hitting them with stuff”. For temperature play, besides using water (at different temps) and ice, you can also take toys or things made of metal and put them in the fridge so that for the scene they are nice and chilly. Just pressing them against skin that is freshly played with can create a lovely reaction!

4) Toys for impact
As you may have noticed, most of what I’ve referred to in #1 and #2 has been impact toys. Try to avoid toys that can break the skin. If you use vampire gloves for sensation – be careful about using them for impact. Knife play, single tails, and other such toys should be used with caution and only after you know what you’re doing with them.

5) Non-toy play
In addition to toys, there are many other things you can introduce in play that are not a danger at all physically, however, need to be well negotiated! Things like role play can enhance any scene no matter the implements or skill level. Consensual humiliation or beginner level fear play are also things that you can “play with” as a beginner. However, as I mentioned PLEASE negotiate these things very carefully!

Whatever you do, remember to play safely, with consent and have FUN!

Jennifer Masri is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, specializing in Alternative Lifestyles for individual and relationship issues. She also teaches the BDSM 101 class series at Sanctuary LAX in Los Angeles every Monday evening. Read more about Jennifer on her blog, A Kink Shrink.

Tagged With: newbies, scene, scene ideas, toys

ACME BDSM Toy Catalogue

March 5, 2017 By Baadmaster 6 Comments

handcuffs

Sometimes we all get a little too solemn in this lifestyle. The stereotype of the mean, stern-faced Dom/me (does Christian Grey ever smile or tell a joke?) is rather pervasive. So, I think it is time to have a little fun. This article is not meant to be taken seriously.

Presenting, the ACME BDSM TOY CATALOGUE!

One of the beauties of BDSM is that the number of toys available is virtually endless. And new ones are invented all the time.

The latest trend in toys seems to be electrical ones. Remote control vibrators and butt plugs using radio-frequency controllers are becoming quite popular. The Dom/me’s electrical toy box is more than just violet wands.

Just as graphite shafts changed the game of golf, graphite canes are changing the face of caning. Canes are now made out of every material imaginable. It’s not just rattan anymore!

And with Virtual Reality on the horizon, who knows where it will lead.

It is in this tradition (and with our tongue firmly in our cheek) that kinkweekly.com presents a sneak peek at some of the items that will be featured in the Internet debut
of the “ACME BDSM TOY CATALOGUE.”

1. The “Auto-Flogger” Great for new Dom/mes, you just hold the handle steady
and Auto-Flogger does the rest! Can be set from “Florentine” to straight
flogging and many patterns in between. It has a meter that sets the flogging
from soft to hard. The deluxe version comes with a stroke counter.

2. “Heavy Hands” For the over-the-knee oriented Dom/me interested in impressing his/her submissive with the power of his/her spanking, these flesh colored and virtually
undetectable “second skin” gloves are loaded with lead and pack quite a wallop.
For the Dom/me it’s truly, “No pain, lots of gain!”

3. “Helium Weights” These devices, which look exactly like heavy lead
fishing weights, are molded plastic filled with helium and are virtually weightless.
Great for the scenester couple who want to impress at play parties. Hooked to
nipple clamps, or any piercings, these “weights” get a definite WOW from any crowd.

4. “Sound Chip Cane” These graphite canes actually have our patented “THWACK
and OW” sound chip in them. Lightly touch the sub and the cane does the rest. The
deluxe version comes with semi-permanent blue die which rubs off on the sub’s
butt creating impressive marks.

5. “Sound Chip Bullwhip” Can’t get your bullwhip to crack? Why bother with
hours of boring practice when ACME’s patented sound chip technology creates a
better crack than even a skilled Dom/me can make? Combined in a scene with the
sound-chip cane, you can be an Instant-Super-Dom/me!

6. “One-Way Blindfolds” These blindfolds look opaque to the naked eye. But
put them on and the sub can see everything. Great for the subbie who does
not trust her Dom/me!

7. “Blood-Spurting Knife” Want to do edge play without the edge? ACME’s
line of fake knives are just the ticket. Patterned after props used in movies,
just run the “blade” over subbie’s ass and watch the “blood” flow. Used in
combination with our “sound chip” products, anyone can go from wimp
to sadist in minutes.

8. “Brand-o-Matic” This looks like an actual branding iron but look again!
It is actually a high tech device that (again using our patented sound chip
technology) makes the SSSSSSS sound of the branding, shoots out hot smoke,
makes the flesh-burning smell and leaves a seemingly raised brand-mark (which
washes off in a week). Truly amazing!

9. “Velcro Collars” Actual velcro collars and velcro chastity belts turn a diss into a fashion statement. And when used in conjunction with many of ACME’s other fine products, anyone can go from Dumb to Dom/me in minutes!

ACME will soon be introducing its line of Virtual Reality toys. With these, you don’t have to even be in the same room with your partner. Or even in the same country. Stay tuned!

By BaadMaster
After a ten year run as head writer for the legendary bondage.com, and an equally long run as the host of the hit internet show “Baadmaster’s Dungeon,” we are pleased to welcome the one and only Baadmaster to KinkWeekly. His thoughts about all things BDSM will now appear regularly on these pages. From the mental aspects of D/s to the nuts and bolts of S&M play, Baadmaster will cover every facet of this ever expanding lifestyle.

Tagged With: bdsm, toys

Oh, the things one sees at DomCon!!!!

May 30, 2016 By anniebear 4 Comments

For any of our regular readers, you know we recently attended DomCon in Los Angeles. This is the largest lifestyle and professional BDSM event in the Los Angeles area and it is highly anticipated by all! Kink Weekly was in the house talking about our magazine and also meeting some of our readers, which was extremely rewarding!

IMG_2708

We had some fun stickers to hand out and I snapped a few pictures with some of my BDSM idols. I think I really managed to play it cool…kind of.

Swooning over Goddess Fae from San Diego.
Swooning over Goddess Fae from San Diego.

Our friend Ken Marcus was on the scene snapping pics.
Our friend Ken Marcus was on the scene snapping pics.

I was only able to make it to one class, Victorian Style Birching, as I was manning (womanning?) the Kink Weekly booth and boy was it a good one! I’ll talk about it later in this article. I also had a chance to walk around the vendor floor and check out some of the crazy inventions that people come up with. The sky is the limit and I’ll never stop being amazed by the devious and cunning minds of these kinky crafters. My partner Dexx was in his element as he fancies himself a kinky inventor of torture devices, some of which have been featured in past Kink Weekly shoots.

I wanted to share some of my finds with those who were not able to attend. Perhaps you’ve seen some of these items before? Or maybe you’re one of these inventors; to you I say well done, Sir or Madam!

A makeshift butt plug holder-Orchid and Serpent

Yes, it is exactly what it looks lie.
Yes, it is exactly what it looks lie.

This one was a bit tongue in cheek. Orchid and Serpent scored the mother of all butt plug holders (does anyone out there have enough butt plugs to even warrant a butt plug holder?) with this discarded child’s toy turned amazing use of up cycling! Yes, that is a Barbie Doll game. Yes, those are all butt plugs inserted into each hole of the Barbie Doll game. The story goes that one of the owners of Orchid and Serpent spotted this toy at a garage sale and as the kink minded are often known to do, a “pervertable” was found! Some may think it’s inappropriate (but we don’t hang out with those people) I call it genius!

Double Flogger-Ravynblood Leather

Double flogger by Master Gabriel.
Double flogger by Master Gabriel.

Master Gabriel, the mastermind behind this piece has finally outdone himself. You may know him as the maker of the Composition Book paddle and also having a penchant for making his submissives kneel on Legos. This double flogger provides double the impact. Just when you think the flogger strike is going to end, it is quickly followed by another one all in one motion. His household members at the booth were kind enough to give a demo. This toy is used with a rotating motion of the wrist that is actually quite easy to master. I was also impressed that the flogger falls did not tangle amongst themselves. It was one smooth double whammy!

Vajankle-Orpheus Black

It's a vajankle.
It’s a vajankle.

While Orpheus is typically a seller of knives for edge play, I was delighted to see this item at his booth this year. You read correctly; it’s an ankle and a vagina so a vajankle! When I was told the name of this specific toy, I cried with laughter. However, someone is into this particular kink and that’s ok! The feet are sold as a set with the second one just being a fake foot, sans the vagina. I’m also happy to report that on the third and final day of DomCon, the vajankle had been purchased by a lucky attendee.

Bugs!-I did not get this vendor’s name! If anyone knows please let me know in the comments!

Creepy crawlies!
Creepy crawlies!

This booth was full of creepy crawlies, but luckily they were all diseased or I would have been out of there…or maybe burn the place down. Check out those spiders and bats! They were all encased in solid glass which would make for a great conversation piece. But now that I’m thinking about it, they would also be good for the sadist because if my Dom stuck one of those on my face I don’t think I would be pleased!

A double leather hood-Edgeplay Gear

IMG_2718

Just in case you need a hood in side a hood, Edgeplay Gear has you covered (no pun intended). I think this hood is for those huge leather enthusiasts mixed with a bit of asphyxiation. You can over your sub’s head and then zip them up inside the dual masking feature. Tighten the collar for added terror! It reminds me a bit of Texas Chainsaw Massacre with “Leather Face!

Big ass floggers-Tawan Leather

Check out the size of this bad boy! By Tawan Leather, hailing from Las Vegas.
Check out the size of this bad boy! By Tawan Leather, hailing from Las Vegas.

Never in my life have I seen a flogger of this magnitude. Even the largest Fox Flogger I experienced in New Zealand could compare. It reminded me of a witch’s broom, except it packs a much bigger punch. Getting hit with this bad boy was akin to getting kicked in the butt, hard! I had to make sure I was stabilized enough to sustain the impact. Our booth was across from Tawan’s and we got to watch people getting walloped all weekend long! Hilarious!

I was pretty nervous but took it like a champ!
I was pretty nervous but took it like a champ!

“The Mistress Molly 3 Loop Extreme” made by Caniac.com and Miss Molly

Apparently this is not for the faint of heart.
Apparently this is not for the faint of heart.

I’ve seen a lot of impact toys, but nothing quite like this. There was quite a bit of weight to this piece, making it super effective. Miss Molly from New Hampshire nicknames this one “her baby” as she spent significant time crafting the design and layout. She says, “It’s all hand made by a wonderful married couple from Massachusetts and comes with a lifetime warranty. I worked with Caniac to develop the “The Mistress Molly Red Line Extreme” toys, which as the name indicates are their most severe implements they make. Not for your beginner spanko!” You’ll receive no complaints from me! She was also accepting donations for Alhpa Dog Rescue and portions of her proceeds also go to that rescue group; anything that helps animals is aces in my book!

Scary repurposed metal stuff-Industrial Dis-ease

Despite their size, these packed a lot of weight behind them.
Despite their size, these packed a lot of weight behind them.

industrial 2

There must not be much to do in Wisconsin or else these guys are just really clever. They have a whole stock of stuff that looks like you could beat the shit out of someone (consensually of course), barely have to exact any effort, and leave wicked marks. All of their products are made from pipe, chain, and anything else metal. Their floggers were pieces of pipe with ball chains attached yet they still looked elegant and well crafted. These weren’t the dinky chains that come with necklaces-this was heavy duty, watch your ass kind of stuff. I was also presented with a demo of the light saber cane! It has interchangeable color tubes so you can be a Jedi one day or a member of the Imperial Force another. Definitely toys for the sadistic!

Spiked tray and wooden stocks-Torrid Timber

A secret bottom compartment for spikes!
A secret bottom compartment for spikes!

Chris of Torrid Timber has beautiful, handmade items ranging from paddles to spiked coasters. But by far the most impressive piece were his slave stocks. Need something to completely immobilize your slave? Stick them in some stocks with ankle cuffs and chains and they won’t go anywhere! This elegantly designed, modern piece has an easy to use locking mechanism that is cleverly out of reach from the subject wearing the stocks. He was also sporting a tray with a removable bottom to allow the subject carrying or holding it to feel tiny little spikes. It’s genius design offers minimal effort if say your submissive is a human table with the tray on their back. Just keep adding items on the tray to increase the level of discomfort. We can’t wait to see what he comes up with next!

Birch Rod-Birchen Boutique

Traditional birch rod
Traditional birch rod

As I mentioned I was only able to attend one class; Victorian Style Birching or as the instructor Daddy Johnny likes to point out, a class on sticks. But do not be deceived! This implement is one of the most punishing a bottom can ever experience! It’s basically a bundle of sticks, often treated in a saltwater brine tied or taped together. Then the Dominant takes them and wallops the submissive as many times as they can stomach. It is not for the faint of heart or light bottomed. Twigs fly everywhere and it often opens up the flesh in tiny (or not so tiny) micro cuts. A shower is recommended after to get all of the stick particles out of the cuts or you can elongate the subs punishment by holding off on the shower for a little while. Daddy Johnny delivered an extensive and fascinating history on birching followed by multiple live demos from himself and Sir Valentino. At the end of the class, you even got to make your own birch rod. Birchen Boutique also has the more historical version of the stocks, made with intricate and beautiful designs. One of the demo bottoms was also sporting the “shrew’s fiddle,” a parallel version of stocks. I give major accolades to the demo bottoms in this class, as it was not an easy one.

I’m sure there are many more crazy inventions where these came from. Kinksters are known to be creative and this only further proves this theory. What kind of things have you all seen? Any off the wall toys or equipment? We’d love to hear about it in the comments!

Tagged With: fetish, floggers, hoods, play, scene ideas, toys

Dom Depot

March 29, 2016 By Baadmaster 4 Comments

clothespins

In a previous Kink Weekly article, The 99 Cents BDSM Toy Catalog, we listed many of the lower priced (can you get any lower than 99 cents?) BDSM toys available there. As many of you already know, the Home Depot-type hardware store (popularly referred to as “The Dom/me Depot”) is also a great source of adult toys. Even that flawed purveyor of BDSM, “Fifty Shades,” began its kinky tale at a hardware store.

We will list many of the terrific toys that are available there, with an eye toward the unusual. Even if you are an experienced Dom/me Depot enthusiast, this “catalogue” might give you some fresh ideas for your next BDSM scene. If you are a beginner, this is a great place to begin!

The first item we recommend is rubberized tool dip. It comes in cans, like paint; dip in any item and it comes out covered in rubber. What a concept! Tool dip is not a BDSM toy, per se. We are not suggesting you dunk some part of your anatomy into it. But, it can help you make a variety of kinky toys or improve some you already have. For example, immerse the (clipping) end of a wooden clothespin, about a half- inch or less, into tool dip. This transformed product has a whole new dynamic. The clothespins stay on longer. They feel different than wooden or plastic ones and hurt more when they are removed. And, they look so cool!

Tool dip is great for making handles for canes. You can buy unfinished rattan canes; sand them smooth and dip one end into tool dip and you instantly have a cane with a great handle! Repeat when dry for an even thicker grip. Or, wrap the handle end with string, for texture, then dip it. Use your favorite color dip for special canes. This stuff is so awesome, there are some lifestylers who tool-dip just about every toy they have – from mousetraps to paddles.

Another popular Dom/me Depot area is the chain department. Need a neat collar for your slave? Ultra-light aluminum chains make a wonderful dungeon accessory – and you cut them to length right in the store. Need a lock to make it look ultra-fetishy? No problem. These stores are a veritable “Collars-R-Us.” Of course, heavier chains for your home dungeon are available here at very reasonable ‘by-the-foot’ prices.

The huge selection of rope at these stores has been written about ad nauseum, so I will limit it to this one sentence as a reminder.

Don’t overlook karabiners as a great restraining device. Easier to use than rope, they are secure, are easily released and come in colors for the fashionistas among us.

Many of you are already familiar with the wide Dom/me Depot assortment of posts, rings and hardware used to make home dungeon equipment. But, this store is a lot more than just hardware. The inventive sadist can find an array of clamps, locking pliers, mousetraps and vices that will elicit an endorphin rush in any submissive.
Duct tapes of infinite variety, sand papers of multiple textures and steel wool of every abrasive intensity line the aisles. The kitchen department features whip sticks, wooden spoons, spatulas and nylon cutting boards. Walk around and let your imagination go wild.

In closing, if you have already taken many BDSM strolls in the “Dom/me Depot,” this article’s purpose is to prod you to go one more time. Maybe you overlooked something, like the wonderful world of tool dip. On the other hand, if you are in a town where there isn’t an adult toy store and don’t want to wait for delivery when ordering online, now you don’t have to. Your personal BDSM emporium is easy to find – it’s right next to the McDonalds!

By BaadMaster
After a ten year run as head writer for the legendary bondage.com, and an equally long run as the host of the hit internet show “Baadmaster’s Dungeon,” we are pleased to welcome the one and only Baadmaster to KinkWeekly. His thoughts about all things BDSM will now appear regularly on these pages. From the mental aspects of D/s to the nuts and bolts of S&M play, Baadmaster will cover every facet of this ever expanding lifestyle.

Tagged With: play, scene, toys

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