If you have not read Part 1 & 2 you can read them here: Part 1 & Part 2
Now that I have touched on how the overall M/S structure helps to reduce anxiety, I would like to talk about some specific anxiety-reducing protocols.
My Master and I are advocates of tracking my progress and rewarding me for overcoming my anxiety (In the first article in this series I told you all about our compulsion resistance calendar and our reward system). I think these aspects of our relationship definitely help me cope with my anxiety and are a major motivation to overcome it.
The fact that my Master owns my anxiety just as much as I do and takes the time to put systems in place to reward and track my anxiety truly does help me. Even when I give into my anxiety and compulse (please look up compulsion if you are unfamiliar with this term), I am happy to do my automatic thought record because I know that I am helping myself to get better. I am also showing my Master that I hold myself accountable for my recovery even when he isn’t around or aware that I compulsed. It makes me happy to see him so proud of me for owning my own self-growth and for being honest with him when I falter.
Reminders
Reminders are a great tool as well. We have “bunny-check-ins” in our home. These are simply me or my Master reminding me to do a mental check-in to avoid having a panic attack in times of stress. When I check in with myself I assess whether I actually have something to be anxious about. I ask myself is my mind catastrophizing or exaggerating the issue?
If I answer yes to the above question (which is usually the case), I use meditation to calm myself down. If the answer is no, then of course my Master and I would talk about what steps need to be taken to remedy the problem. This sounds remedial, but it really does help me to think before I react. It also gives me time for meditation on my breath so my anxiety does not get out of control.
Our newest form of defense against anxiety is a magnet with cute cartoon animals on it. The magnet says “Be Flexible, Don’t Catastrophize, and Don’t Blow Smoke.” This will be given to me when I am doing any of these things, and I must read it. Hopefully, this will be another reminder for me to calm down and get a better handle on myself.
I have also heard of slaves having an emotion chart where they mark where they are at daily, so their Master can gauge how best to handle their emotions for that day.
Daily Positivity Logs
My Master also gives me a daily positivity logs. For these, I must list five things I am grateful for. This helps me to remain positive and not get overly stressed. The logs are a great way to keep things in perspective.
I hope this has been helpful for those dealing with anxiety. Next week, I will talk about how specific types of slave training and meditation can help anxiety. I will also touch on subspace and how it can be a great stress-reducing state. Finally, I will go over some assignments my Master has given me. If any of you are interested in learning more about anything I have mentioned, please do not hesitate to ask. Thanks for reading and stay tuned!
About the Author:
Slave Bunny, a 1950’s power slave, is involved in a wonderful and loving TPE 24/7 M/S relationship with her Master and husband. She is also the Creative Director of Kink Weekly.
She has dedicated her life to working on herself mentally, spiritually, and physically, and hopes to inspire others to do the same. Through teaching and mentoring, she hopes to help everyone in the Kink community as much as she can.
Feel free to add her on Fetlife (Slave_Bunny992) to see her upcoming workshops and classes.
Sadie says
Hi Bunny,
I’ve been using xanex, toperimate since the late 1990’s for panic and anxiety, the toperimate is for anxiety driven migraines. I would absolutely LOVE to not take this medicine anymore but it’s my understanding that going off of either of these drugs are horrible, well at least the Xanax. I’ve been reading all your articles and am absolutely impressed by how You use your power exchange for such things successfully and positively. What’s your thoughts on how my power exchange can help me “kick” my dependency on these medications? I know it will be extremely difficult! Also, please know my relationship in long distance but by no means any less of a relationship just because we can’t touch each other, However badly I want to. In all honesty, I take other meds for other reasons but I just want to deal with one thing at a time. My goal is to be off all my medications eventually. I see myself in a puddle, not able to form words and He can’t get to me as we both have meaningful vanilla commitments in RL. Please share your honest thoughts regarding anything I’ve mentioned with me. I can take it.
I love all your articles! Very well written! If I had a “do over” in life, I’d want a life very much like yours in a sense of living in the power exchange household 24/7. It sounds like you and your Master have not just a deep love but great respect and a deep understanding of each other that few couples attain. I’m very happy for you!
Thanks in advance for your help!