Thank you to everyone that has been following my reduction of anxiety series. (If you’ve missed any parts of this series you may read them here: Part I, Part 2, Part 3). As promised, I am going to finish this series by going into a very specific type of slave training, meditation, subspace, and some assignments my Master has given me.
Training your slave to get into a calmer state via action or stimulus can be a very useful tool. For example, my Master has trained me to say, “Master loves me and everything is okay” when he puts his hand on my cheek.
This took a few months for me to do innately without any cues. He first told me the phrase he would like me to say when he puts his hand on my cheek. Then he showed me exactly what he meant by him “putting his hand on my cheek.”
After this, at least daily, he tested me on this. In the beginning my words would come out almost robotic. What I was saying wasn’t really calming me down probably due to the fact that I was trying to make sure I remembered to say the phrase my Master wanted me to.
After a while, once his words became ingrained in me, I began to believe the words that I was saying, and I was instantly less stressed when his palm touched my cheek.
This protocol provides another way for my Master to show he cares about my anxiety, gives me time to pause, and a moment to seek solace in my Master’s touch. It provides a way for us to feel connected when anxiety often makes me feel so alone. It re-establishes as often as needed that we are fighting my anxiety together.
He often has asked me to kneel before putting his hand on my cheek, which reinforces our dynamic even more.
I strongly recommend anyone in a power exchange relationship (that deals with anxiety) to talk with your significant other(s) about training that could be done to reduce anxiety and induce an instant calmness.
Also, don’t be discouraged if the training doesn’t work right away. As you can see from my story, it often takes some time for what is being enforced to have any kind of positive effect.
You could train via words, actions, objects, or a combination of any of these. The point is to find something that will have a calming effect and reinforce the dynamic.
We also use meditation a lot in our home. My Master will often tell me to meditate on my collar in times of stress. I so enjoy the five minutes where I can ruminate on my wonderful collar and what being my Master’s slave means to me. I also take this time to be grateful for my Master for all that he has done for me and continues to do for me. Touching my collar often helps because it connects an idea with something tangible, which for me, is quite soothing.
Meditation on such important things helps to put things in perspective, and puts the brakes on my scattered anxiety-ridden brain. It helps me to see how much I was catastrophizing and what is really important/ worth focusing on.
Everyone has a sense or two that resonates with them more than the others. Mine is touch. Someone else’s might be smell. Maybe when your s type is stressed you train him or her to plug in their favorite smelling candle, and sit and meditate while the smell of the candle helps to calm them.
Cold things used to be calming for me. I used to run my hands under cold water or touch cold metal.
Find what best works for your s type, and find creative ways to incorporate them as much as possible.
Subspace is also extremely stress-reducing. For me, it is my calmest state. When I get into this state, my Master tells me he takes the opportunity to tell me very positive and sweet things about myself. It has been told to us that subspace is a great time to reinforce self- esteem (which when out of this state can reduce overall stress). My Master also tells me that he holds and kisses me when I am in subspace. He often commands me to get out of subspace and I listen. Other times, he waits patiently for me to get out of it on my own. He decides based on whatever is best for me.
I always get out of subspace feeling refreshed and calm. When I am in subspace it feels as if I am floating. It is such a freeing feeling, and I don’t experience anything like it any other time.
If you do not wish to enter into subspace, please listen to what your body and mind are telling you. I am only making a suggestion based on my experience. Subspace is something you should only enter into when you are ready and in a safe and trusted environment.
Finally, my Master has given me a lot of assignments to help me cope with my anxiety. He has asked me write a list of twenty positive things about myself. He has also asked me to write a forgiveness letter to myself and to my family. He has had me complete anxiety and worry workbooks. He has told me to compile a list of all the things that I do not need to worry about. I have also been assigned CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) assignments based on exaggerated and aberrated worries. These are just a few assignments that he has given me, and they have all been extremely helpful. I am happy to explain them in more detail if any of you are interested.
I hope this has given you all plenty of ideas on how to deal with anxiety. I know these may not work for everyone. I am just writing about things I have personally found helpful. My goal for this series was to spark conversations in all readers’ households (on how to better tackle this issue that plagues so many of us). As always, please feel free to comment and ask me any questions you might have. Thanks for reading!
About the Author:
Slave Bunny, a 1950’s power slave, is involved in a wonderful and loving TPE 24/7 M/S relationship with her Master and husband. She is also the Creative Director of Kink Weekly.
She has dedicated her life to working on herself mentally, spiritually, and physically, and hopes to inspire others to do the same. Through teaching and mentoring, she hopes to help everyone in the Kink community as much as she can.
Feel free to add her on Fetlife (Slave_Bunny992) to see her upcoming workshops and classes.