BDSM articles ideas bondage erotica resource
Many folks have found therapeutic benefits to practicing BDSM.
We, at KinkWeekly, have published many articles on just that.
Click below to find out more about how BDSM can aide with the effects of being a trauma survivor!
***Please note, that BDSM is usually not the only thing needed to treat the effects of trauma. BDSM can help, but is usually not the only therapeutic modality needed.
Most things including The Porn Industry have been altered due to the Covid-19 Crisis.
This week, New Statesman gives us the skinny on the rise of OnlyFans during the pandemic and what that means on a grander level.
Click below to find out more!
Dutch News reports that all non-consensual sexual acts will now be considered rape.
In our opinion this is great news because rape and/or molestation can be so much more than violent sexual acts and/or attempts. Rape and molestation truly come down to non-consensual sexual behavior.
This is definitely a step in the right direction. Click below to find out more!
For so many BDSM can help with PTSD, anxiety, OCD, etc.
This week, Huff Post brings us a story about how Kate O’Kelly used BDSM to take control of her life after her assault.
Click below to learn more about this powerful story!
Have some kinky news to share? Tell us about any upcoming BDSM events, new products, dungeon openings / closings, kink in mainstream media, and anything else you think kinky folks might be interested to hear about. Send your tips through to kinkweekly@gmail.com, and it might just end up on next week’s “This Week in Kink.”
Photo by slave boy julia (sjstudio1.com)Those who suffer from PTSD (Post-traumatic stress disorder) often make choices that are unhealthy and/or dangerous due to low self esteem, picking the demon they know rather than the unknown, panic/panic attacks, and/or thinking they deserve nothing more than to continue traumatic experiences.
People often self sabotage, get back with unhealthy exes, pick abuse over breaking free, practice unsafe sex practices, cater to their addictions, and many other damaging scenarios, to blot out the pain that they are feeling, to minimize the flashbacks, to not feel the weight of being abused/traumatized.
They often continue this unhealthy cycle of sweeping their torment under the rug, and hoping that it will magically go away on its own. However, it does not work like that. Normally things left undealt with only increase in size over time, and often become too large and overwhelming to be handled healthily without professional help.
Our demons are always there; it’s our job to find a way to healthily and effectively deal with them before they devour us, and/or before they have grown too powerful to take on.
I have found that BDSM can help break this cycle. Before I found BDSM, and before I met my Master, I would deal with my pain in all sorts of unhealthy ways-unhealthy dating patterns, unhealthy sex patterns, operating on low self esteem and abandonment issues alone. My self worth was very low due to the family and sexual trauma I had experienced.
I was caught in this vicious cycle of making myself the victim, and creating this webbed mess that always needed to be cleaned up. It seemed I just couldn’t get on the straight and narrow because of the pain that lived inside of me.
But through playing with my Master and being my Master’s slave, I have been shown that there is a healthy way to deal with the pain. Now, I also go to therapy, see a psychiatrist, read a lot of self-help books, exercise five times a week, communicate with my Master about these issues daily, and part of our contract is dedicated to my recovery. With this being said, I am saying that our BDSM has helped my PTSD, but I am in NO WAY saying it should be the only thing one uses to get over their traumas. However, it can be used as a coping strategy and trust builder for those that have been seriously wounded in tandem with other methods like the ones listed above.
PTSD can generate a lot of fear and feelings of general distrust. I used to fear that everyone would hurt me. Through our BDSM play, I have been show that even though my Master is inflicting consensual “pain” on me, I am still loved, and he would never actually hurt me. Every time we engage in breath play, he’s never actually trying to damage my windpipes. When we practice spanking, hitting, slapping, flogging, or any other form of impact it is for our enjoyment, and never for harm’s sake. My Master actually has mentioned on countless occasions that if I did not enjoy being a masochist, he would not want to continue being a sadist.
When I am objectified, called a slut, whore, sex toy, it is coming from the love that we have in our dynamic. It is consented to and appreciated. It is never coming from an abusive or non-consensual place.
After we engage in play, we always lie with another, talk about how much we mean to one another, and relive the scene we had just created. We often talk about things we liked and what we want to do again. If anything were to occur that we didn’t like we would talk about that too (However, this rarely happens since my Master knows me very well). It is so relieving to feel him close to me, holding me.
The trust, care, love, and respect make these actions satisfying, and help to heal any wounds made by others that once upon a time did these things to me non-consensually, and without any rendition of love, care, respect, or trust.
I have found that it is not the action that is traumatizing, it is the intent, core value(s), and virtue(s) driving it.
BDSM and the values of the Kink/BDSM Community can provide a safe space to work through our traumas in a healthy and safe manner. In my opinion, that why’s rape play exists. That’s why impact play is even a thing. That’s why so many of us love getting consensually choked, whipped, caned, bit, etc.
Someone with PTSD who has been raped might go out looking to relive that experience (these types of motives are usually in the unconscious or subconscious mind), which will most likely be much more damaging than it is worth. This situation is not in a controlled environment, and pretty much anything could happen. Instead, this person could go to a safe space, and reenact what happened/act out what they want to happen safely with a trusted friend or partner (to help work through their traumas). In this situation, it is controlled, and if someone reaches their threshold or is about to, they can always use their safe word. Real life, unfortunately, does not always work that way.
I cannot stress how paramount a controlled environment is when working through our traumas. That’s one reason why people go to therapists’ offices.
Also, at a dungeon there are DMs. So, if things were to become too much, you can always flag them down.
Safety is key. Safety with partners, location, and action. Safety mixed with consistency leads to trust, which will lead to PTSD not having such a hold on you.
In time, as trust builds, you will begin to see a different, positive side of these actions that were once only viewed as the most detrimental thing that could happen. You will begin to see people not as vessels that could hurt you. You will learn that the world is not out to get you and neither are most individuals that cross your path.
Please note, do not engage in BDSM relating to your traumas until you are sure you can handle it and are ready. Always respect your own timing. There’s no shame in waiting. If you are going to engage in play relating to your PTSD/traumas, who you play with should know of these traumas, limits should be talked about/respected, and safe words should be decided. If you find that you were not as ready as you thought after the scene has started, please stop the scene using your safe word(s). It’s never a good idea to force anything, especially when dealing with something so painful.
I would say that even if you are engaging in play that does not directly relate to your traumas, the above should be followed. And of course even if you do not have PTSD and have no apparent traumas, limits, boundaries, and safe words should always be discussed and agreed upon (unless you do not use safe words, but that is an entirely different article).
I think it’s also important to reflect on all scenes-especially the ones relating to your traumas that you are trying to work through. Perhaps journaling could really help with this. Introspection after any scene is essential in my opinion. Introspection leads to understanding and understanding leads to growth. Growth leads to change.
I have found that APRI really helps too. These steps can be done on your own, with a trusted friend/family member, a partner, or therapist.
Address- Address what happened. What caused your PTSD?
Process- Process the feelings and behaviors that stemmed from the incident or incidents. Notice any unhealthy behavioral patterns.
Resolve-Try to let whatever is traumatizing you go. This is the hardest step and could involve multiple steps and methods to complete. BDSM being one possible method. Make amends with yourself and others (if appropriate and possible). Think of ways that you could make your life more fulfilled, happier, and healthier.
Integrate- Integrate what you have learned thus far concerning your PTSD, yourself, and the traumatic incident. Make a plan of action and rules for yourself that you can follow and will follow based on the new knowledge you have gained. This will allow you to not only let go of the PTSD and your trauma(s), but become a healthier person in general.
Again, please note that there are countless ways to cope with traumas, pain, PTSD, and anxiety. I am merely providing a few coping strategies for one to ponder. I hope you have found this article helpful, and please reach out for more information.
As always, feel free to comment and ask questions. Thanks for reading and stay tuned!
About the Author
Slave Bunny, a 1950’s power slave, is involved in a wonderful and loving TPE 24/7 M/S relationship with her Master and husband. She is also the Creative Director of Kink Weekly.
Along with being a part of the Kink Weekly team, she will be teaching kink classes all over the Los Angeles area this year and organizing events.
She has dedicated her life to working on herself mentally, spiritually, and physically, and hopes to inspire others to do the same. Through teaching and mentoring, she hopes to help everyone in the Kink Community as much as she can.
Feel free to add her on Fetlife (Slave_Bunny992) to see her upcoming events and classes.
Thank you to everyone that has been following my reduction of anxiety series. (If you’ve missed any parts of this series you may read them here: Part I, Part 2, Part 3). As promised, I am going to finish this series by going into a very specific type of slave training, meditation, subspace, and some assignments my Master has given me.
Training your slave to get into a calmer state via action or stimulus can be a very useful tool. For example, my Master has trained me to say, “Master loves me and everything is okay” when he puts his hand on my cheek.
This took a few months for me to do innately without any cues. He first told me the phrase he would like me to say when he puts his hand on my cheek. Then he showed me exactly what he meant by him “putting his hand on my cheek.”
After this, at least daily, he tested me on this. In the beginning my words would come out almost robotic. What I was saying wasn’t really calming me down probably due to the fact that I was trying to make sure I remembered to say the phrase my Master wanted me to.
After a while, once his words became ingrained in me, I began to believe the words that I was saying, and I was instantly less stressed when his palm touched my cheek.
This protocol provides another way for my Master to show he cares about my anxiety, gives me time to pause, and a moment to seek solace in my Master’s touch. It provides a way for us to feel connected when anxiety often makes me feel so alone. It re-establishes as often as needed that we are fighting my anxiety together.
He often has asked me to kneel before putting his hand on my cheek, which reinforces our dynamic even more.
I strongly recommend anyone in a power exchange relationship (that deals with anxiety) to talk with your significant other(s) about training that could be done to reduce anxiety and induce an instant calmness.
Also, don’t be discouraged if the training doesn’t work right away. As you can see from my story, it often takes some time for what is being enforced to have any kind of positive effect.
You could train via words, actions, objects, or a combination of any of these. The point is to find something that will have a calming effect and reinforce the dynamic.
We also use meditation a lot in our home. My Master will often tell me to meditate on my collar in times of stress. I so enjoy the five minutes where I can ruminate on my wonderful collar and what being my Master’s slave means to me. I also take this time to be grateful for my Master for all that he has done for me and continues to do for me. Touching my collar often helps because it connects an idea with something tangible, which for me, is quite soothing.
Meditation on such important things helps to put things in perspective, and puts the brakes on my scattered anxiety-ridden brain. It helps me to see how much I was catastrophizing and what is really important/ worth focusing on.
Everyone has a sense or two that resonates with them more than the others. Mine is touch. Someone else’s might be smell. Maybe when your s type is stressed you train him or her to plug in their favorite smelling candle, and sit and meditate while the smell of the candle helps to calm them.
Cold things used to be calming for me. I used to run my hands under cold water or touch cold metal.
Find what best works for your s type, and find creative ways to incorporate them as much as possible.
Subspace is also extremely stress-reducing. For me, it is my calmest state. When I get into this state, my Master tells me he takes the opportunity to tell me very positive and sweet things about myself. It has been told to us that subspace is a great time to reinforce self- esteem (which when out of this state can reduce overall stress). My Master also tells me that he holds and kisses me when I am in subspace. He often commands me to get out of subspace and I listen. Other times, he waits patiently for me to get out of it on my own. He decides based on whatever is best for me.
I always get out of subspace feeling refreshed and calm. When I am in subspace it feels as if I am floating. It is such a freeing feeling, and I don’t experience anything like it any other time.
If you do not wish to enter into subspace, please listen to what your body and mind are telling you. I am only making a suggestion based on my experience. Subspace is something you should only enter into when you are ready and in a safe and trusted environment.
Finally, my Master has given me a lot of assignments to help me cope with my anxiety. He has asked me write a list of twenty positive things about myself. He has also asked me to write a forgiveness letter to myself and to my family. He has had me complete anxiety and worry workbooks. He has told me to compile a list of all the things that I do not need to worry about. I have also been assigned CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) assignments based on exaggerated and aberrated worries. These are just a few assignments that he has given me, and they have all been extremely helpful. I am happy to explain them in more detail if any of you are interested.
I hope this has given you all plenty of ideas on how to deal with anxiety. I know these may not work for everyone. I am just writing about things I have personally found helpful. My goal for this series was to spark conversations in all readers’ households (on how to better tackle this issue that plagues so many of us). As always, please feel free to comment and ask me any questions you might have. Thanks for reading!
About the Author:
Slave Bunny, a 1950’s power slave, is involved in a wonderful and loving TPE 24/7 M/S relationship with her Master and husband. She is also the Creative Director of Kink Weekly.
She has dedicated her life to working on herself mentally, spiritually, and physically, and hopes to inspire others to do the same. Through teaching and mentoring, she hopes to help everyone in the Kink community as much as she can.
Feel free to add her on Fetlife (Slave_Bunny992) to see her upcoming workshops and classes.
If you have not read Part 1 & 2 you can read them here: Part 1 & Part 2
Now that I have touched on how the overall M/S structure helps to reduce anxiety, I would like to talk about some specific anxiety-reducing protocols.
My Master and I are advocates of tracking my progress and rewarding me for overcoming my anxiety (In the first article in this series I told you all about our compulsion resistance calendar and our reward system). I think these aspects of our relationship definitely help me cope with my anxiety and are a major motivation to overcome it.
The fact that my Master owns my anxiety just as much as I do and takes the time to put systems in place to reward and track my anxiety truly does help me. Even when I give into my anxiety and compulse (please look up compulsion if you are unfamiliar with this term), I am happy to do my automatic thought record because I know that I am helping myself to get better. I am also showing my Master that I hold myself accountable for my recovery even when he isn’t around or aware that I compulsed. It makes me happy to see him so proud of me for owning my own self-growth and for being honest with him when I falter.
Reminders are a great tool as well. We have “bunny-check-ins” in our home. These are simply me or my Master reminding me to do a mental check-in to avoid having a panic attack in times of stress. When I check in with myself I assess whether I actually have something to be anxious about. I ask myself is my mind catastrophizing or exaggerating the issue?
If I answer yes to the above question (which is usually the case), I use meditation to calm myself down. If the answer is no, then of course my Master and I would talk about what steps need to be taken to remedy the problem. This sounds remedial, but it really does help me to think before I react. It also gives me time for meditation on my breath so my anxiety does not get out of control.
Our newest form of defense against anxiety is a magnet with cute cartoon animals on it. The magnet says “Be Flexible, Don’t Catastrophize, and Don’t Blow Smoke.” This will be given to me when I am doing any of these things, and I must read it. Hopefully, this will be another reminder for me to calm down and get a better handle on myself.
I have also heard of slaves having an emotion chart where they mark where they are at daily, so their Master can gauge how best to handle their emotions for that day.
My Master also gives me a daily positivity logs. For these, I must list five things I am grateful for. This helps me to remain positive and not get overly stressed. The logs are a great way to keep things in perspective.
I hope this has been helpful for those dealing with anxiety. Next week, I will talk about how specific types of slave training and meditation can help anxiety. I will also touch on subspace and how it can be a great stress-reducing state. Finally, I will go over some assignments my Master has given me. If any of you are interested in learning more about anything I have mentioned, please do not hesitate to ask. Thanks for reading and stay tuned!
About the Author:
Slave Bunny, a 1950’s power slave, is involved in a wonderful and loving TPE 24/7 M/S relationship with her Master and husband. She is also the Creative Director of Kink Weekly.
She has dedicated her life to working on herself mentally, spiritually, and physically, and hopes to inspire others to do the same. Through teaching and mentoring, she hopes to help everyone in the Kink community as much as she can.
Feel free to add her on Fetlife (Slave_Bunny992) to see her upcoming workshops and classes.
Last week (click here for article), I briefly touched on how being a slave can reduce anxiety. This week, I would like to go further into this topic.
As I mentioned previously, my anxiety was one of the major reasons that we decided to enter into this kind of dynamic. I was afraid that without my Master’s complete control and guidance my anxiety would overtake me for the worst.
Because I know how scary anxiety can be, I genuinely want to give people tools that can help reduce their anxiety within the structure of M/S.
A few major anxiety relievers are the structure and routines our M/S relationship provides for me. Routines such as collaring me each morning, greeting my Master in a particular way, having set daily tasks, presenting dinner to him in a certain fashion etc. eliminates a lot of my anxiety. My anxiety stems mostly from fear of the unknown. So, having so many things in place I can depend on truly helps to lessen my anxiety’s hold on me.
I would encourage any Master who has a slave who suffers from anxiety to think about your schedule and your slave’s. After careful consideration of both schedules, put in a decent amount of structure and routines that the slave can rely on.
However, please also keep in mind that too much structure can make a slave become more anxious. Too much structure and routine can become overwhelming. Masters need to find a nice balance for their slaves between routine and free time (time where the slave can just be and do whatever they would like as long as it does not violate any of her/his rules).
When implementing routines and structure, you need to find the “sweet spot” (where it helps keep the slave’s anxiety at bay, while not overwhelming them). Remember, all structure and routines must benefit the slave, Master, and the relationship in some way. Never give your slave tasks to do just to keep him or her busy. Slaves want to feel valuable.
The routines must also be realistic and be able to be done consistently. After all, the whole point of adding structure to your relationship is so both parties can have something they can depend on and look forward to.
If you find that a routine or piece of your dynamic’s structure isn’t working, schedule time with your partner(s) to sit down and come up with a new plan of action. The plan could be coming up with something new or tweaking what you already have established. Whatever you decide to do set a time that works well for all parties involved to discuss how these changes are working out.
I hope this has been helpful. Next week, I will talk about specific anxiety-reducing protocols. Please feel free to comment and ask questions. Thanks for reading and stay tuned!
About the Author:
Slave Bunny, a 1950’s power slave, is involved in a wonderful and loving TPE 24/7 M/S relationship with her Master and husband. She is also the Creative Director of Kink Weekly.
She has dedicated her life to working on herself mentally, spiritually, and physically, and hopes to inspire others to do the same. Through teaching and mentoring, she hopes to help everyone in the Kink community as much as she can.
Feel free to add her on Fetlife (Slave_Bunny992) to see her upcoming workshops and classes.
For as long as I can remember I have dealt with various forms of generalized anxiety, OCD, and PTSD. Before I became a slave or even knew what a slave was, I tried to deal with my various mental problems/hang ups in unhealthy ways.
I chose the vanilla route and copied what all the other college kids were doing around me. No one stopped me and said, “What you are doing will never help you.” Because of this, I just kept on going down the vanilla path, hoping that something would give and I would get better.
When I met my Master, I knew I wanted to make some serious changes. I knew I didn’t want to be riddled with so much anxiety and fear on a daily basis. I realized that life is too short for that, especially now that I had found the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.
I also realized that I was not at a point where I could take control of my anxiety by myself. I needed my Master to take control of it to a certain degree, and to work with me on it just as much as I was.
I know this might sound selfish on my part, and maybe it was, but it was what I needed at the time and knew I was too weak to face my mental disorders alone.
This is honestly how we got into our M/S dynamic officially. I was stressed about something that in retrospect now seems quite trivial. My Master came home from work to find me nearly breaking down. This kind of thing had happened before, and I knew I never wanted to greet my Master with kind of meltdown again.
I told him, “I have been trying to battle this on my own for years, and you are stronger than me, wiser than me, have more experience than me, and are more stable than me. Can you please take control of my life because I know at this point I am too unstable to?”
He agreed but didn’t know if I was entirely serious or not. The next day I began writing down all the rules we had already established and began researching more into the M/S dynamic. I was amazed at how much we had already been doing that would be considered M/S. We just weren’t labeling it as anything.
After a few weeks of talking and researching, we both realized that M/S was the right choice for us.
The moment I asked my Master to take ownership of me was the most humbling and meaningful moment of my life. All my life I had been trying to face my problems alone without knowing how to face them. Just the fact that my Master accepted the challenge I had presented him with reduced my anxiety.
Being my Master’s slave has helped my anxiety so much because I no longer have to worry about decisions concerning me. Because of this, I can more easily focus on the tasks that I want to get done.
Our M/S relationship also helps to prevent new stressors from occurring. My Master has to approve everything I do. So as long as I am following his orders and rules, I know that I never have to feel any anxiety concerning us.
We have rules that specifically target my anxiety and OCD. I am often given assignments to complete and reading to do. I also attend therapy regularly. My Master oversees my entire physical and mental health, which also helps to put me at ease.
For example, in our home, we have a compulsion board. Every time I am triggered by something and I don’t compulse, I tell my Master and I get a sticker. If I do compulse, I tell my Master and I must complete an Automatic Thought Record (This is a form of CBT. Feel free to look it up for a more detailed explanation.) My Master sets the number of stickers he would like earned each month and a number of ATL’s that I must be under. If I stay under the ATL limit and achieve the set amount of stickers, I get a reward.
This has been a really helpful tool because it allows us to track my progress throughout the months. It also provides a visual record of my progress, and the rewards are a great way to celebrate my hard work. It always makes me proud when I achieve my monthly goal.
Mindfulness is also big in our home. My Master will often ask me to meditate on my collar in times of stress. He has also trained me to say, “Master loves me and everything is okay” when he puts his hand on my cheek.
I do not think the rules alone help my recovery. I think what really makes the difference is how much my Master cares if I am getting better, how he always makes time to communicate with me and listen to me regarding my recovery, and the fact that he checks in with me about my emotional state on a daily basis- most of the time multiple times a day.
It was love, care, and commitment that motivated my Master to take on the role of being my Master with such grace. He was never deterred or scared. He consistently holds me to my rules, including the recovery ones, and no matter what he has going on, he always makes time to help me.
It’s not just my Master though. Like any vanilla or kink relationship, both parties need to be equally dedicated. I am always reading, researching, presenting my findings to my Master, and am always motivating myself to practice what I have learned. Slaves cannot just sit back and let their Masters’ do all the work. I would never get better that way. Master has the final say, and offers me all his wisdom and guidance, but I still have to put in a lot of work to better myself.
However, I would not be able to achieve any of this without my Master. He is the motivation behind my recovery 100 percent.
I hope this article gets you thinking about ways one can use power exchange relationships to ease anxiety. In part two, I will go further in detail into anxiety-reducing protocols.
About the Author:
Slave Bunny, a 1950’s power slave, is involved in a wonderful and loving TPE 24/7 M/S relationship with her Master and husband. She is also the Creative Director of Kink Weekly.
She has dedicated her life to working on herself mentally, spiritually, and physically, and hopes to inspire others to do the same. Through teaching and mentoring, she hopes to help everyone in the Kink community as much as she can.
Feel free to add her on Fetlife (Slave_Bunny992) to see her upcoming workshops and classes.
Sometimes in life we need to take a breather. It’s very innate for most people to want to barrel forward, and keep going despite their own emotional hang ups. But I have found, especially in a power exchange dynamic, it is so helpful to take a pause/reset to regroup, so service can be restored. Taking a pause allows individuals to gain a better understanding about the issue, and take time to nurture each other back into a calmer state. Resets can also be used for apologies, discussing new plans of action, and to simply hold each other during tough times. It’s so important to make time to truly talk and be with one another.
We want to get things done so quickly, so we can have time to be with our partners. But sometimes we get overwhelmed, and “the being together part” gets lost in the shuffle.
In any kind of power exchange dynamic, it can be a challenge for the s type to get back into service and/or focus on the dynamic, when vanilla problems strike. It’s easy for people to fall into old habits, for certain protocols to go out the window, and for life to get the best of anyone. Resets are one way to help keep this from happening.
Resets are any change in one’s body position or room that provide an individual a way to take a step back from the situation and breathe. In our home, sometimes, resets are just stopping what we are doing to lie on the bed and talk. Sometimes, they are meditating. Sometimes, they are Master ordering me to serve him or please him in a specific fashion. Resets should be used to center all people involved, and should be different for different circumstances. They can also be a way to show one’s emotional strength. Instead of allowing yourself to break down, you can rise above your emotions, and serve or master/dom effectively.
I suffer from a lot of anxiety, and it’s very easy for that to affect my service. I often feel overwhelmed from stressors (some real and others just in my head), which can sometimes make it a challenge to serve the way I want to. Because of this, my Master and I have found that taking a reset really helps me get back into my slave headspace. Taking a reset helps provide me with relief, and allows me to get back what truly matters, which is serving my Master. It also shows me that my Master sympathizes with my stress, and wants to try to calm me down the best he can.
I remember one time, I was so upset I thought I was going to have a break down. Instead of Master letting me sit and collapse in a puddle of tears, he ordered me to crawl to the bedroom. At first, I thought, “I can’t do this.” But, I mustered up the strength, and calmed myself enough, to crawl like he asked. After I accomplished this, I felt like I was much stronger than I had given myself credit for. I was elated because I was able to put my own mental drama aside, and serve my Master.
Resets are most effective if the D type knows the s type’s emotions really well, and knows where their partner can be realistically pushed. The D type needs to have a firm grasp on what the s type needs/can handle in an emotional moment. Without this kind of understanding, the D type could push the s type into something way over his or her head. And no one wants that to happen.
I would suggest that D types and s types learn as much as they can about each other emotionally. This takes time, a lot of communication, and observation.
In our household, both myself and my Master can call for a reset at any time. This helps us both hold each other accountable, and helps us take care of each other emotionally. Sometimes, it’s difficult for me to cater to myself emotionally/mentally, so it really helps to have another person looking out for me.
In short, resets can be used to help de-escalate stressful moments, bring the couple closer together, and can provide a comfortable way to talk about anything that needs to be discussed. Resets also help prevent tense situations from getting out of hand, while keeping the dynamic intact.
In my experience, resets are incredibly valuable. I can’t imagine not having them in our home.
About the Author:
Slave Bunny, a 1950’s power slave, is involved in a wonderful and loving TPE 24/7 M/S relationship with her Master and husband. She is also the Creative Director of Kink Weekly.
She has dedicated her life to working on herself mentally, spiritually, and physically, and hopes to inspire others to do the same. Through teaching and mentoring, she hopes to help everyone in the Kink community as much as she can.
Feel free to add her on Fetlife (Slave_Bunny992) to see her upcoming workshops and classes.