When we first started our M/S relationship, my Master and I felt that rules were enough to keep our dynamic strong. But over time, we have both found that it is the combination of rules and rituals that keep our relationship at its healthiest.
What is the difference between a rule and a ritual?
- A ritual is something that you do without fail with your partner or for your partner daily, weekly, monthly, or yearly. It provides reliability and consistency.
- A rule is something you follow all the time, but isn’t necessarily a ritual.
Rituals can be rules, but all rules are not rituals.
For example, no texting and driving is one of our rules, but not a ritual.
On the other hand, some of our rules are rituals. One of our rules is that I must wait for my Master in humble position when he gets home from work in the evening. This is a ritual that he and I have grown very fond of. It initiates my service immediately when he gets home from work, and brings us closer together after a long day.
Collaring rituals are also a rule in our home, and they happen every morning. When its time to collar me, I get into Nadu position, and present my two collars to my Master. He will point to the one he wants to put on me first and I will hand it to him. Then I hand him the other one. After I am fully collared, I must say some sort of mantra about my Master and/or our relationship. When I am finished, my Master will touch my face and then I am allowed to stand.
We love this ritual because it allows us to start the day on a positive note and allows me the time to express my love and gratefulness to my Master. It also reinforces our M/S dynamic daily. If we didn’t have this ritual, we might not take a moment every morning to be with each other.
Our ritual in the evening provides the same sort of built in moment with one another. It’s known and followed that before we do anything, we spend time with one another.
Both of these rituals are positive ways to begin and end the day. They also establish that we are most important to each other.
I am in no way saying that everyone must adopt these rituals. But I do think it’s a good idea to find rituals that work for you in your power exchange relationship(s). Rituals help keep the dynamic alive, and help deepen bonds between partners. It’s very easy to get so wrapped in life that we forget to spend time with another.
Rituals provide an easy way to make sure this doesn’t happen. They provide something both partners can look forward to and depend on. I feel so loved when my Master takes the time to collar me every morning, and when he takes the time to greet me in the evening.
There are many different types of rituals that one could implement. They can be simple or very elaborate. It all depends on what both parties can realistically stick to and make happen on a continual basis.
If you need help coming up with rituals, please feel free to leave a comment and I will be happy to help you brainstorm.
About the Author:
Slave Bunny, a 1950’s power slave, is involved in a wonderful and loving TPE 24/7 M/S relationship with her Master and husband. She is also the Creative Director of Kink Weekly.
She has dedicated her life to working on herself mentally, spiritually, and physically, and hopes to inspire others to do the same. Through teaching and mentoring, she hopes to help everyone in the Kink community as much as she can.
Feel free to add her on Fetlife (Slave_Bunny992) to see her upcoming workshops and classes.