Predators don’t violate everyone they play with. They need people who can honestly say “oh, yeah, it was great”. They need people who will be a good reference so they can find and groom new prey.
New prey. That would be you.
No one is going to give you the name of someone they’ve violated.
No one is going to give you the name of someone who will say “oh, yeah, him…he’s going to pee in your mouth after you tell him, vehemently, that you don’t want him to do that.”
No one is going to give you the name of someone who has accused them of consent violations, which are the people you’d WANT to hear from. Or, you think you do. Some people hear negative stories and think “Gosh, what if those people are exaggerating? It couldn’t have been that bad.” We see them posting every time someone pops up with their horrific story of abuse and consent violations.
They’re going to give you the names of the people they did NOT violate. You know, the ones who post “he played with me lots of times and I never had any problem” on those same writings.
Let me tell you what, but this serial predator is smarter than you.
He knows he’s smarter than you are because he picked you carefully. He’s had his system in place for YEARS and probably was watching you for months waiting to make his move. Yes, some predators are opportunistic. We’re talking about the patient planner here, the one who will wait for you to walk willingly into his arms.
You aren’t the first victim and you won’t be the last because (let’s face it) you WON’T go to the police. You’ll be too embarrassed, regardless the hurt done to you. Almost no one files charges, let alone sees it through to final verdict.
“But he had such great references!” Of course he did. He made sure of it.
Maybe you should spend the time getting to know them rather than jumping in with both feet because someone you don’t know said “yeah, he’s a great guy.”
TylerRose. is known as Dame Tyler in the NYC public SM/Fetish scene. She has over 30 years of experience in SM play and d/s relationships. She is aan award-winning author who has written three “lifestyle”, four cartoon, and twenty eight fiction books. Read her books on her Amazon page — https://www.amazon.com/TylerRose./e/B00HCPLSP2You can also find more of her OP/ED work in Fetlife: https://fetlife.com/users/305828 She enjoys crocheting and diamond painting, and will no doubt die with a thesaurus open on her thigh.