• Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
  • Home
  • About
  • New to kink?
    • Articles for beginners
  • Contribute
  • BDSM Buying Guide

Kink Weekly

BDSM articles ideas bondage erotica resource

You are here: Home / Archives for bdsm play

bdsm play

Crawling For Subs

February 27, 2021 By Kinky Assignments 2 Comments

Are you an s-type?

Do you enjoy bottoming?

Do you want to know more about slave positions?

Then, click below to learn more about the joys of crawling from Kinky Assignments!

Submissive Training: Crawling! AKA Slave position “on all four”. Doms and subs in BDSM relationship – YouTube

Tagged With: bdsm, bdsm play, bdsm relationship, bdsm scene, dominant, fetish, humiliation play, kink, power exchange, slave positions, submissive

How Do Submissives “Enjoy” Physical and/or Emotional Discomfort?

February 27, 2021 By Ms. Rika 2 Comments

hot lesbian rope bunnies
via stock.adobe.com

I hope you have been enjoying Rika’s Lair, my monthly column dedicated to thoughts and experiences  regarding power dynamics in Service-Oriented D/s relationships. Look up “Ms. Rika” in the search box  for links to all of my articles in KinkWeekly!  

This entry, I’d like to share some thoughts from a FetLife conversation that revolved around the notion  that submissives “Enjoy” punishment, pain, and denial…and the question of how they deal with doing  something they don’t really enjoy. 

I brought up the point that I’ve shared here in previous columns in Kinkweekly: That feeling compelled  to do (or endure) something you normally wouldn’t, forces the submissive to rationalize why they are  allowing it (or going along with it) …and that the popular rationalization is that they are out of control  and under the command of their partner – that they are “Forced” to accept the discomfort. This serves to build the façade of power that allows both partners to obfuscate the reality of consent and enjoy  their dynamic despite the continued existence of free-will. 

I’ve used this point to argue why punishment isn’t actually the most effective tool in changing behavior  in submissives, since, although the submissive might dislike the punishment itself, they crave the  concept that their partner has the authority to punish them. The more distasteful the punishment, the  greater the perceived authority of the dominant, the more ‘enjoyment’ for the submissive. Obviously  counter-productive to actual behavior modification. 

During the conversation, one friend, who goes by the auspicious username of 000-298-237 (his friends  call him ‘7’…jk ) posted an interesting point of view regarding the use of the word ‘enjoyment’. With  his permission, I’m quoting him here: 

“Enjoy” has become a difficult word over the years. There is a great deal that goes  on, no matter the relationship or the context, that isn’t “enjoyable”. I still do things. 

I have pursued the craft of blacksmithing for more than two decades now. There is a  saying “Blacksmithing without burns is like expecting to swim without getting wet.”  I’ve had my share of burns, thankfully, through care and luck I’ve not had any that  required serious medical attention. I did reach the place where I let the burn sizzle so  as to not spoil the weld. (It’s not masochism in such circumstances, trust me.) I  haven’t stopped my smithing due to burns. I do not enjoy burns. Particularly the ones  on the inside of the hand where there is no nursing them if the work needs to continue. I still don’t stop smithing. 

About the same time, I came to hear “swimming without getting wet” I was in about  my third year of chastity with a full belt. (A Goenthals for the curious.) That’s when  “enjoy” started becoming an awkward word. “You must really enjoy chastity to be in  that belt so much.” Most were surprised to hear me say “no”. And later, “‘Enjoy’ has  nothing to do with it, but it’s not a hair shirt, either.” The side that gets little press  about such things is the work of it. It wasn’t discomfort or denial. Even if it had become easy routine, the level of maintenance of belt and body requires dedication  and effort. I’d explain this. 

“But if you don’t enjoy it, why do you do it?” My reasons were several, and several  were my own. It was not completely the whim and insistence of a Superior, and even  when it was it wasn’t about what either of us “enjoyed”. Most of my specific reasons  I don’t care to share here. Really, the specific reasons aren’t germaine. 

“I appreciate it.” 

Changing one word makes a world of difference, at least for me. My world has a lot  of joy in it. My relationships have had a great deal of joy too. Sometimes the greatest joy has come when there was the least to be enjoyed. Maybe it’s age, but even younger I was little moved to do something simply because I might enjoy it.  That’s for decisions like “I think I’ll pick up a candy bar when I stop for gas and milk.  I’ll enjoy the ride home a little more with a candy bar to munch on.” 

There’s much I don’t enjoy in service or submission. There’s much I don’t enjoy about  being a father, or when I was a husband, or sub, or slave, or employee, or employer.  I’ve appreciated and more than appreciated all of that. My love and appreciation has  not diminished when dealing with dirty diapers or the considerably greater quantities of manure a horse can produce. I can’t say I’ve enjoyed the blood or vomitus or any of the several other less than pleasant substances and experiences of  tending to people who are ill. I still do it. And I appreciate them, and the relationship,  and the circumstances and environment and more. I’m profoundly grateful for them. 

Joy does not mean enjoy. 

I love this last phrase, “Joy does not mean enjoy”. In a nutshell, this is it. We can like the fact that we  do things, even though we don’t like the things we’re doing. The price we pay for joy often comes at the  cost of ‘enjoy’. Submissives derive pleasure from unpleasurable things…it’s not a paradox…it’s a fact of  natural human life. We all have experienced this. 

At the end of the day, power dynamics are just extensions of our other natural desires. There isn’t  anything unique or puzzling about sacrifice for devotion and caring. We can find pleasure in enduring  the unpleasurable. “Love hurts”.  

I found this an interesting perspective and wanted to share it with you. I Hope you find it thought-provoking as well! 


 Ms. Rika is a lifestyle dominant, educator, and author; living in the suburbs of NYC with her  husband/slave. She has written several popular books on her approach to adding Dominant-Centric,  Service-Oriented D/s to relationships. You can find her books (in both print and eBook formats) at  Lulu.com (http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/msrika), or at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, the iStore, Books-A Million, Kobo.com, or anywhere books are sold. Search for “Ms. Rika”.

Tagged With: bdsm, bdsm community, bdsm play, bdsm relationship, bdsm scene, bottom, dominant, fetish, impact play, kink, submissive, Top

When The Kink Doesn’t Click

February 27, 2021 By Elyssa Helfer 3 Comments

power exchange couple with ribbon
via stock.adobe.com

Picture this; you have just finished a date with the person that you just started seeing and are about to be intimate for the first time. You are super excited because things have been going extremely well between the two of you. They have the qualities that you have been searching for in a partner and you are starting to feel confident that perhaps they will be someone who will remain in your life long term. You cannot wait to move the relationship from a romantic space to an intimate one and then you are hit with it; your kinks are not compatible. Perhaps you are a submissive and were hoping that their dominant traits would continue into the bedroom or maybe you are a Sadist and they have an aversion to pain. What does this fundamental incompatibility mean for your future with this person? Is it possible to make things work?

Kink incompatibility can be incredibly frustrating to discover when already invested in a person emotionally. Often, we create a vision for what our intimate life will look like with our partner/s and when that expectation does not become a reality, it can send us into a tailspin, doubting the very relationship that we have grown to love. The question remains; can a relationship work between two people whose kinks are fundamentally different? The short answer is yes. However, in order for the needs of both (or more) partners to be met, there will be work to do. 

First and foremost, it is important to discover not only what kinks your partner may have, but what it is about those kinks that is appealing to them. For example, if your partner identifies as a submissive, it may be helpful to ask what type of submissive they are. What do they gain from their submission and what accompanies it? Often, our kink identities are complex and to begin working through the incompatibilities, it is important that all aspects of one’s identity are discussed. Once these topics are covered, we may be able to use some of this information in later stages. 

Understanding why someone has the kink they do can also be immensely helpful in the discovery process. For example, if one partner is interested in cucking but the other is not, deeply understanding what it is about the cuck fantasy can be very helpful. If they enjoy the humiliation the most, can that be integrated into the relationship without bringing in an additional person? What sort of things have humiliated them in the past? Can roleplay be enough to satisfy the need for humiliation? These types of questions are what can get us to discover the depths of our partners’ kinks and we can use that to adjust to meet their needs. 

Next, it can be helpful to understand how much someone is married to their specific kink role. Are they willing to try out new roles? Are they comfortable using toys or equipment that they never considered? This is where limits come into play. Sitting down and discussing what someone may or may not be willing to try can be an excellent way to discover new kinks. This can also happen by watching porn together, reading erotica, checking out online forums where kinks are discussed and more. Creativity is key when trying to find the balance between two kink identities that do not seem to fit together. 

Couples may also want to consider how they define their relationship structure and agreement. Often, the topic of whether or not a couple will be monogamous is not even discussed, as monogamy is the societal standard that frequently dictates how relationships will look. This does not need to be the case. Each couple has the ability to determine how the structure of their relationship will exist and sometimes, being open (whether monogamish, polyamorous, or otherwise) can allow for more needs to be met. Keep in mind, this does not need to be in a sexual way!  If one partner is a Sadist who craves spanking play, they may be able to find themselves a spanking partner who only exists in that play space and does not involve any sex whatsoever. This can take pressure off of the partner who has no interest in that type of play and allow the other partner to have the need met that is not being satisfied in the relationship. This type of additional partner works well when one partner has an interest and the other does not. However, what happens when both parties identify as the same role?

For this issue, integrating additional individuals may also be of help. For example, if both partners in a relationship are submissive, it may be possible for them to find a third Dominant partner who uses their power to Dom partner A into topping partner B or vice versa. This can allow for the intercourse to remain between the couple but also allow for the dynamic to be at play. Both partners will be in a submissive role and the third party may derive pleasure from their participation. Keep in mind, all parties involved must consent to absolutely everything! 

Lastly, when all other options seem to have been exhausted, it may be time to check in with a professional. Couples counseling, with a kink specialized therapist, can be incredibly helpful for couples struggling to get on the same page about their erotic lives. There is no shame in seeking additional support and a kink specialized therapist will likely have worked with this issue before.

Overall, kink incompatibility is certainly a tough issue to work through but it does not mean that a relationship is doomed to fail. Like so many other things that come up in relationships, this takes work, patience and understanding. With communication, creativity and respect, we can create relationships where needs are met and all folks are satisfied! 


Elyssa Helfer is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist specializing in the Kink and Alternative Lifestyle community. She is a writer, lecturer and advocate for sexual empowerment and sexual freedom. She has a private practice in Los Angeles, CA and is dedicated to shifting the narrative about both the mental health and Kink community.

Tagged With: bdsm, bdsm play, bdsm scene, fetish, kink, sexual fantasy

Slave Auction-It’s For A Good Cause

February 27, 2021 By eve 2 Comments

hot male submissive in collar
via stock.adobe.com

***All works of erotica are fictional. We never condone anything that is not safe and consensual.


A box was at the top of the stairs for cell phones, house rules. Each participant had signed a contract for tonight’s session. A faint smell of incense meets everyone as they make their way into the transformed basement. The only light is from a strand of Christmas lights stapled across an exposed beam. Oversized pillows and rugs covered the floor in front of a brown plush couch, which has seen better days. A padded sawhorse with straps and St. Andrews cross featured in the middle of the room. Speakers hidden behind draped fabric played 80’s hairband music. The music clashed with the vibe. It should have been sitars and ethereal voice drawing the participants into the Arabian night fantasy. Tonight, I was the watcher. A group of t-shirt and bare-chested men were making conversation on the far side of the staircase. The music quieted, a voice from upstairs called, “draw near, the auction will begin.” Each stair has a set of bare feet and legs. 

The robed herald leads the line of slaves to the center of the room. The men on the far side fell in behind and immediately began to handle and inspect what was on offer. Each slave wore only a collar with a card hanging from it. The hard limits for each slave were stated on the label. The first beast on offer was male; his loose black curls covered his eyes. His mouth had been painted bright pink. It shimmered from the cheap gloss that had been used to begin his humiliation. A small pink ribbon encased his balls and accentuated his semi-erect cock. A Dom, bare-chested wearing cowboy boots and a pair of pressed jeans, ran his hand from the nape of curls to the slave’s full round ass. He sniffed closely and called to his compatriots, “boys, I smell fresh meat.” The bawdy laughter of the Masters’ filled the room with an eerie sense of the satisfaction they would take in those on offer tonight.

“What’s this useless Fuckwad afraid of?” he asked indifferently, smacking the slave’s ass, leaving a handprint on the soft pink flesh. The slave didn’t make a sound or make eye contact with the handler who held his collar. 

“Oh, I think this will please you, Sir, no feet, that’s it.” With that, two other Doms approach and inspect the slave. One forces its’ mouth open and sticks two fingers to the back of the slave’s throat. He looks at the other Dom and says, “yeah, he’d do,” He presses down on the sex-slave’s head, forcing him to his knees. The Dom lines his leather-clad crotch with Fuckwad’s face. 

LeatherD taps the handler on the shoulder, “let’s get started. This one amuses me.” The three men step back and wait for the auction to begin. “Tonight, is for real money. It all goes to a local charity. There is a minimum of 300.00 per slave but no maximum.”

I open my book and record the pen name (fuckwad) for the first. Bidding starts with 300.00 and goes up to $20.00 between the three men until they reach 500.00. A 500, the handler uses a crop and smacks the thighs and stomach of Fuckwad. “Gentleman, this one wants to be used hard and made very wet” He laughs at his own pun. Leather-clad Dom takes the bait, he approaches Fuckwad and roughly opens his mouth.

“$700.00.”

The other Doms raise their hands in surrender.

“Sold for tonight only, Fuckwad to LeatherD.” I record the amount in my book. 

LeatherD clips a lead onto Fuckwad’s collar and yanks him towards his table. Slave followed, all eyes in the room turned to watch. The sex-toy is now fully erect, and precum glistens on the head. LeatherD smacks the member and warns the useless fucker that he will regret cummings without permission or giving his money’s worth. 

“Yes, sir,” seeps from his lips. With lightning speed, LeatherD had a hand full of curls and forced his slave to his knees. “Don’t speak! Every time you do something without permission, it’s five with the flogger. Nod if you understand. Your safe work is can-opener.” Master delivers three tight smacks to the slave’s cheek. “I don’t like to repeat myself,” he continues to smack the other cheek as the slave nods. 

Fuckwad’s cheeks were flushed from the smacks, he nodded, and a grin came across his face. I waited for the smirk to turn into a saucy comeback, but he stayed silent. LeatherD removed the ribbon with a deft hand and put a silicone cock ring around his play toy’s balls. Fuckwad stood ready for inspection, his fingered interlaced behind his head. Leather D had put wrist cuffs on his slave after he had inspected for cuts and bruises. “Safe, sane, and consensual,” he said, and he cracked a crop across his slave’s thigh.

“Ow!” shot out of Fuckwad’s mouth, and his eyes bulged the second he realized he had made a sound. 

Without breaking stride, Master quipped, “that’s five slave- do keep track.” Fuckwad nodded but didn’t make a sound. 

I could see him trying to look through his curls and keep his head bowed. Master for the night took inventory and continue to size him up. LeatherD tweaked the toy’s nipples, slapped his cock, and grumbled insults. All the while, the rest of the room continued with their inspection of the other slaves. Leather D held a flogger and nipped at the toy, flicking and barely making contact. Master soothed the awakened flesh with his large, calloused hands, grabbing and squeezing Fuckwad’s ass. Master circled like a shark dizzying its prey. 

“You were fucking looking at me, you piss ass, don’t you dare look at me. You are a goddam waste of flesh. Your father would have been better off wanking off into the harbor, rather than your useless mother.” He spits in the slave’s face.

LeatherD turned his back on the room and inspected the items he had prepared for the evening. He pulled a deep red flogger. It must have had 100 falls; it was stunning. Extending his arms, the fall draped over on forearm. He displayed the flogger, holding it up, so close Fucktard automatically turned away. “That’s another 5 -you pussy,” Master drew back and walked behind. “Count bitch, what is your safeword?

“Can-opener” was clear as a bell, a sign Fuckwad was delighted to have Master punish him. Master did a final inspection of his toy’s thighs, ass, and back. He murmured something in approval. The first lash was met with little more than a murmur and the count of one. Fuckwad stood unrestrained hands clasped in front of him, feet shoulder-width apart. The next four were delivered in quick succession from thighs, ass, and back. He hesitated only to hear the count. On the third lash, Fuckwad wavered on the count as he fought to keep his position against the force. Master said, “that hesitation gets a do-over; let’s try that again, slut.” This lash had full force behind it. Leaving stripes across Fuckwad’s back. 

“Three,” he blurted out and bit down on his lower lip. The strikes to the ass were the hardest from the sound and the resolve of Fucktwad’s tone. The final strike was not hard but airy, making contact between the shoulder blades and dragging the falls softly down the slave’s back. The flesh was crimson with streaks. Master rubbed and soothed the flesh as he walked Fuckwad towards his table, “good slave, hands on the table.”

Master removed the cock ring, and Fuckwasd shuttered as he held his load. He took a vibrating prostate stimulator, applied lubricant to the tip, and cut a length of bondage tape. Fuckwad was moved to the far side of the stairs, where the light was lower, and the others would have to consciously shift to continue to watch the session play out. Master clipped the cuff to a nylon strap that had been wrapped around the exposed crossbeam. Fuckwad was no longer able to stand flatfooted. He was upon his toes and fighting to keep balanced. Master spread his toy’s ass check and slowly inserted the anal stimulator. A groan of pleasure rose from his slave. A piece of bonding tape kept it in place. The slave’s cock was red and engorged from the stimulation. Master’s finger flicked the tip, after the fourth or fifth flick, his slave winced. Long firm strokes were met with breathless moans. Smack, “I didn’t give you permission to speak. Now you wait.”

LeatherD leaned against the table and unzipped his pants. His erect cock released and ready, “look at me, slave,” he held his toy’s eye and began to stroke. The slave’s cock seeped and jumped with excitement. Master circled Fuckwad and tapped the anal probe quickly. He held his slave to his chest. It was too much to endure. “Please let me cum?”

“Not yet,” Master held his slave tighter and increased the intensity.

“Oh, Oh, Ogh, please, Master?” the speech was practiced. Tethered to the ceiling on his toes, he opened his legs and held his load on the edge of ecstasy.

“You cum after I do.” He ripped the bondage tap away and removed the simulator. Master stood behind the slave and penetrated him. The slave threw his head back in pleasure. LeatherD was tall and tucked himself in under the restrained fuck toy. Bringing his slave to the edge again, removed himself and released the slave. Without prompting Fuckwad was on his knees, hands behind his back, sweat running down his body, and his master’s cock was in his mouth. The face fucking was relentless, Fuckwad gagged and drooled, taking his Master deep. Leather D lost control, just for a moment. I caught the look of pleasure as he watched the slave bring him to climax. He came in the slave’s mouth, and the cum dripped off his chin. He made no effort to clean his face. 

“Bring me the horse, I will finish you off hard, and you will be grateful.” Leather D used a towel and zipped his pants back up. He stepped into a dildo harness with a nine-inch bright orange cheetoh of a cock. It was the funniest thing I had ever seen. 

Fuckwad lifted and carried the awkward piece of furniture, avoiding contact with his cock, which was still hard but slightly less engorged. “You ready to cum, my boy?” he said with a smile. He strapped his slave down lengthwise. Fuckwad’s cock pressing against the edge of the horse, I’m guessing he wished for a glory hole right about now. Fuckwad’s new position drew the attention of another Dom. 

He stood in front of Fuckwad, “may I use the front end? He seems talented?”

LeatherD laughed and slapped slave’s ass hard, “he is a good cocksucker, useless as a man, good fuck toy, though. Use that end at your leisure.”

With a condom clad member, Leather D pound Fuckwad, letting him moan and writhe to his heart’s content. He struggled with the desire to curl in on himself as Leather D rode him because his mouth was full of a relatively thick and short penis. He gagged as the cock was forced to the back of his throat.

“Do that again. He gave a little extra to me when you did that,” he said to the guest. His slave’s eyes watered, and he gagged on the short cock as he felt his release. His cock twitched so fervently it hit the horse as he came. Every nerve was stimulated. He was electric with the awakening his body was going through. You could see it. After he came, you could see the energy leave him. He was spent. LeatherD finished, and the other Dom walked away as he came on Fuckwad’s face. He nodded at his fellow Dom in thanks. LeatherD released Fuckwad and wrapped him in a warm blanket. 

“You served me well, have some fruit from the tray, and you can sit at my feet.”

They joined the group and watched the proceeding in the other part of the dungeon.

Tagged With: bdsm, bdsm community, bdsm play, bdsm relationship, bdsm scene, fetish, kink, power exchange, slave, slave auction, slave contracts, slave positions, slave training

This week in kink: March 1, 2021

February 27, 2021 By Dexx 2 Comments

Don’t miss the story of Mom turned Domme from the Daily Star!

Click below to read more!

Polyamorous mum leaves corporate job to become dominatrix earning £1,400 an hour
Mistress Tash Mia, 35, from Australia, spoke to the Daily Star about why she became a professional dominatrix earning thousands each week
Dailystar.co.uk | Sophie Foster

Don’t miss this riveting article about how BDSM can have therapeutic benefits from Big Think!

Click below to find out more!

BDSM therapy: Are there therapeutic and relational benefits to being submissive?
In-depth research suggests BDSM practitioners can experience altered states of consciousness that can be therapeutic.
Big Think

Celebrity Insider touches on the Marilyn Manson abuse allegations and differentiates between BDSM and abuse.

Click below to learn more!

Marilyn Manson Allegations Bring Up Questions Of BDSM And Abuse

Have some kinky news to share? Tell us about any upcoming BDSM events, new products, dungeon openings / closings, kink in mainstream media, and anything else you think kinky folks might be interested to hear about. Send your tips through to kinkweekly@gmail.com, and it might just end up on next week’s “This Week in Kink.”

Tagged With: bdsm, bdsm play, dominatrix, femdom, fetish, kink

The Slutatic Adventures Of Eve

February 20, 2021 By eve 2 Comments

mistress dominating male slave on leash
via stock.adobe.com

It’s essential to have goals. My slut goals vary. For the past six months, geography has been fun. At first, it was a match with places I had been, which extended into areas I wanted to go or know about. Being curious is a neat way to learn and make my way through the male population of my corner of the world. Not every message gets a response, but the profile was packed with details and interests that matched the reality of my luscious curves and sultry desire. Loving good sex is one thing, but knowing someone is into what you have to offer can be motivating.

“Love your pictures” was his opening foray. Hardly something to swoon over, but I don’t fuck for poetry, so I figured what the hell. The banter was intriguing. He was young and anxious to learn about my twisted little world of domination and submission. A weird little world of my knowledge and experience for him and a youthful cock and passion for my orgasm for me was enough to make him a regular. His full lips and generous mouth, athletic body, and desire for a heightened sexual experience solidified our mutual passion. 

“We can meet at my place. I have roommates, but they won’t be an issue. I want you so bad.” That was the message the morning after our first meet. “I would love to see you in heels and stocking.” Quickly followed. 

I was happy to oblige the following Tuesday. I slipped into a barely decent little black dress, low cut in the back and skimming the edge of my thigh, black sheer stay-ups, and black suede heels with shiny metal spike heels. The porch light was a bare light bulb. The starkness was notable was in such stark contrast to the Aladdin’s cave of treasure and pleasure I hoped to find beyond that bare bulb. 

I paid little attention to the terrain as I climbed the stairs and stepped onto the grass. My hell sunk, and I fell forward onto my hands and knees. I looked up as he stepped out of his door. I righted myself and passed him my tote bag, and I brushed off the dead leaf and pulled my dress back in place. In some weird way, it was the perfect ice breaker. He whisked me to his room and fussed my wet, bruised knee. The niceties of a first meet were swamped by the adrenaline pumping through my system. He was talking, and I was watching his mouth, those full pillow lips I longed to suck and nibble. I nibbled my own lower lip as I waited for him to stop talking. My clit twitched, and his hands smoothed and caressed my legs and thighs. His fingers found the edge of the stay-ups, and my breath hitched in my throat, a small moan of pleasure escaped. I checked myself. We made eye contact, I fought the urge to speak, he dropped to his knees in front of me. He brought my face to his and kissed me. “This isn’t very sadistic” my thought was halted by the wakening of my sex, my clit twitched, and I was instantly wet.

His mouth kissed and suckled my inner thigh. His teeth grazed over the stocking, and his hand found my ankles and put them behind his neck. I lay back on the bed, still dressed and enjoying the hunger of his mouth on my thighs. My panties are soaked. The burgundy satin would be dark with my wetness. I stretched and writhed as he pulled the panties to the side and opened me with his strong ample tongue. He was out of my reach, and not a word had passed between us. I fought my desire to create social interaction. Instead, I emptied my mind and stayed in my body. He had found the spot, the holy grail of the squirt spot. He surprised himself and was delighted with himself. 

As I moaned in pleasure, I interjected, “you might want to grab a towel,” ever the practical slut. I broke the spell. He stood in front of me; I sat up facing his cock. It’s stretched against his body-hugging boxers. I trace his cock’s outline with my long, manicured nails. I continue to fondle and careless until his hand instinctually lands on my head. I look into his eyes with my fingers stroking the outside of his boxers. I finally speak. 

“ask for what you want.” My voice is barely above a whisper, but it’s firm. His eyes bulge. My power shift is subtle, and I wait for him. His eyes bulge, and he motions towards his cock, unwilling to say the words. I hold his eyes, occasionally blinking, smiling softly—my hand retreats. 

“Babe,” his tone is pleading and weak. With that. I stand, kiss his mouth, adjust my stockings. And get ready to leave. “Seriously, you’re going to leave me like this?” The pussy is almost whimpering. With that, I picked up my bag. 

“Next time when I tell you to do something, you will do it. Shame really, you have a beautiful cock.” I walked out the door, stayed on my toes, and left.

Tagged With: bdsm, bdsm play, bdsm relationship, bdsm scene, dominant, femdom, humiliation, humiliation play, power exchange, slave, slut

Orgasm Control

February 20, 2021 By Baadmaster 2 Comments

dark haired submissive chained to bed
via stock.adobe.com

This is a question that is self-explanatory.  So here it is:

Reader: Orgasm control and denial are topics of interest for me. I’ve heard lots of good things, but also that it can cause negative side effects. What do you think? Any tips?

First things first.  Can denial produce negative effects?  Many old wives’ tales suggest this to be true.  Some claimed that too much sex is bad; others said that denial is the road to ruination.  In the Reefer Madness era, believe it or not, there were even ones that said you would go blind if you masturbated excessively.  Yet the worst that happened to me is that I wear contact lenses.  Negative effects from orgasm control are a similar urban sex legend.  Sexual denial usually produces no negative effects — other than causing fewer orgasms in your life. Albeit bigger ones!

The purpose of orgasm manipulation is basically to make for better, bigger more intense orgasms.  (Sounds like a late night TV advertisement for the Orgasmotron – but wait, there’s more!)  Most of us practice a form of orgasm control even in the vanilla sex world. — most men delay orgasm for as long as possible to increase mutual pleasure.  But in BDSM, we have raised this to an art form.  Let’s look at the two major classes of devices used in orgasm control – the “chastity belt” and the “cock cage”.

Since many things old become new, the chastity belt for females is making a comeback.  As we become a more  egalitarian society, it was only natural to expect chastity devices to be equally available to all sexes. Or to put it into Mad Men advertising language, “Chastity devices ain’t just for men anymore.”  The effect of a chastity belt worn by a submissive – both from a role play point of view and a control perspective – can be awesome.  Recently, lightweight plastic/composite belts have replaced the old bulky leather/metal ones; these high-tech belts are not the heavy locked affairs of Elizabethan times.  These modern versions are a unique (although expensive) way for a Dominant to establish the ultimate in orgasmic and sexual control. 

The cock cage too has felt the advancement of technology in its development.  From the early plastic versions (the CB 2000) to the modern stainless alloy types, just like face-masks, they are available in a myriad of designs.   (Once this pandemic is over, you can use your spare face-masks for BDSM play!)  But whether  used for pleasure or punishment – or anything in between – ultimately the aim of such devices is to make your play more exciting.  

There is no doubt that sexual denial can increase horniness.  (Just go to a singles bar on a Friday right after work.)  But if you practice sexual denial on purpose, you can increase the anticipation and raise the sexual excitement to a fevered pitch.  “Don’t masturbate (or have sex) until I see you next week” is a popular Dominant’s technique that can turn the submissive into a horny, sex-crazed obsessive by the time they see each other.  

Another technique of orgasm control is that of bringing a submissive to the brink of climax over and over again.  Whether ending in a “ruined orgasm” or a “super orgasm,” this “tease and denial” technique can be done over a period of hours (or days…WOW!) and can be excruciatingly exciting.  Coupling BDSM play with “tease and denial” in a s scene a great way to produce explosive orgasms.

There is one area I have left to last – the legendary training of a submissive to “cum on command.”  This has an almost mythic quality to it; it appears to be the ultimate Dominant achievement.  I have heard tales of a Master being able to order his slave to cum via telephone and the slave doing so without even touching herself.  I personally have never witnessed this; nor have I ever achieved this feat.

What I have done is to train a submissive to become extremely sexually excited via a voice command.  The training technique I use is to deny orgasm over a period of time, thus building a heightened state of arousal.  Then you link your voice command to this excited state – by stating your command at the time of highest sexual arousal.  This conditioned response training is one way to get closest to making the submissive “cum on command.”  And maybe, using this technique over a period of time, it can actually be accomplished.

As with all my suggestions, they are just that – suggestions.  So let me know your experiences.  Good luck!


After a ten year run as head writer for the legendary bondage.com, and an equally long run as the host of the hit internet show “Baadmaster’s Dungeon,” we are pleased to welcome the one and only Baadmaster to KinkWeekly. His thoughts about all things BDSM will now appear regularly on these pages. From the mental aspects of D/s to the nuts and bolts of S&M play, Baadmaster will cover every facet of this ever expanding lifestyle.

Tagged With: bdsm, bdsm play, bdsm relationship, bdsm scene, dominant, femdom, fetish, kink, orgasm, orgasm control, power dynamic, power exchange, self masturbation, sexual freedom, submissive

This week in kink news: February 15, 2021

February 14, 2021 By Dexx 2 Comments

Don’t miss Kink, an amazing collection of erotic stories that explores many aspects of BDSM.

Folks are saying this may be the “new 50 Shades of Grey!”

Click below to learn more from Daily Mail.com

Could Kink be the next 50 Shades of Grey? ‘Groundbreaking’ stories offers insight into BDSM | Daily Mail Online
Short story collection Kink, which was edited by R.O. Kwon and Garth Greenwell, explores submissive-dominant relationships. The anthology was released in the UK yesterday.
www.dailymail.co.uk

D1 Softball News reports that Emma Watson is a kink advocate. She raves about kinksters being the best at communication.

Click below to find out more about her views on BDSM and feminism.

Emma Watson makes amazing revelations about her sexuality!

We, at Kink Weekly, support the Sex Work Industry and sex workers.

With this being said, please check out this important article that explains the negatives around consuming free adult content from healthline.

Click below to read more!

Does It Really Matter If You Use Free Erotic Content?
The short answer? Yes, it matters a lot. Not paying for the content you use hurts the performers you enjoy, the adult industry as a whole, and ultimately you.
Healthline

Have some kinky news to share? Tell us about any upcoming BDSM events, new products, dungeon openings / closings, kink in mainstream media, and anything else you think kinky folks might be interested to hear about. Send your tips through to kinkweekly@gmail.com, and it might just end up on next week’s “This Week in Kink.”

Tagged With: bdsm, bdsm community, bdsm erotica, bdsm play, bdsm relationship, bdsm scene, communication, consent, fetish, kink, negotiations, power exchange, Sex Work Community, sex worker rights, sex workers

Ebra The Whipping Post

February 14, 2021 By Dame TylerRose. 2 Comments

woman tied to chair splashed with water
via stock.adobe.com

“Naked,” Andaray said, as he always did when he was going to enjoy her.

One garment at a time, not hurrying but not dragging it out either, she undressed for her Master and her King. Lannid sipped a glass of whiskey, her silent audience.

“Face me. Grasp the bar,” Andaray said, indicating upward.

She saw a wood bar suspended between two others that dropped from a frame. Hands on the bar, she tried to shake it back and forth, testing its movement and security. It would not come out. She was held tall and open but not stretched like Master usually did.

He slid an arm around her back, holding her against him for a kiss.

“Are you being punished?” he asked.

“No, Master.”

“What is the purpose of this?” he asked.

“Our King’s pleasure. And yours.”

“And yours,” he concluded.

She smiled, knowing how much more she liked sex after a good beating. He’d taught her all manner of pleasures in their short time together. An entire education in sexual practices in a matter of eight weeks. He had learned not to ask her if she wanted this or that. Given the choice, she would default to no. He learned to tell her and then she would not refuse.

“Our king likes to see the strikes,” he told her. “I will swing from behind you.”

She only nodded. He’d done this before, so he could see her face during the whipping. He’d brought a long handled whip with a dozen wide, flat falls of brown leather. Swinging with arm extended, the leather wrapped around her side to strike her back. Gentle, with little force. He gave her several minutes to get used to the thumps and relax her initial nerves.

He swung with more force, the tips of leather smacking against her skin. This implement did not make her flinch, but eventually took her to a calm and dreamy state. He switched hands several times to strike from right and left, pushing her deeper into that fogginess. She lost track of how many strikes, lost all track of time.

He recognized the blankness of her face, paused to step in close against her and slid his open palm down her back. She sucked in a breath of callused hand stimulating tenderized skin.

“Turn around.”

She did, taking a fresh grip on the bar overhead. Eyes closed, waiting patiently. A cup touched her bottom lip.

“Drink.”

Water. She sipped until he took it away. He walked around behind her again. Instead of the wide tails she was expecting, the thin braid at the end of a signal whip bit into her breast. Lannid smiled to see her jump inside her skin and stomp a foot.

“Fucker!” she gritted between clenched teeth.

Andaray only chuckled, and did it again.

“Dammit. Motherfucker!”

A few swings in, Lannid opened his pants to stroke his cock nice and slow. A hundred times the whip striped her breasts, ribs, and belly. A hundred times she cursed Andaray. Whip over his shoulder, he reached around with both hands to grab her breasts. Squeezing hard, he forced a yelping scream from her. One hand smacked its corresponding breast.

“Asshole!” she said, foot stomping.

He pulled the stick holding her braid in its round coil, took hold of the braid near the top and pulled it sharply backwards.

“You’re going to be used now. Harder than I’ve used you on my own. Bend over the end of the bed.”

He let go to watch her slow walk to the left.

“You can use her however you want, General. She was a whore long enough to know every orifice is available. In addition, she will know that she is available to you whenever you want. Anything you want, she is to obey. If she doesn’t obey, you can force her as you choose. This is my private agreement with my Lifeslave. I discussed it with her. You can do with her as you can no longer do with the lower women of your court,” Andaray explained. “As we used to do with women captured in battle.”

Lannid took his friend at his word and positioned himself. A wad of spit between her buttocks and he drove into her anus. She screamed into the bed, stomping a foot. He rammed into her the way he liked best, harder than he’d done to Lanelle that first night. She hadn’t known it, but he had actually taken it easy on her.

The core of his soul most enjoyed brutal force and violence. He smacked Ebra’s thighs hard as he used her, held her braid to lift her face and hear her suffering.

“The whore likes it hard?” he hissed.

“Fucking asshole!”

“That means yes,” Andaray said, sitting on the side of the bed to watch.

Excerpt from First Queen of Unada

NOW AVAILABLE in Amazon for purchase and Kindle Unlimited readers


TylerRose. is known as Dame Tyler in the NYC public SM/Fetish scene. She is an award-winning author who has written two “lifestyle”, four cartoon, and twentysomething fiction books.

Read her books on her Amazon page — https://www.amazon.com/TylerRose./e/B00HCPLSP2

You can also find more of her OP/ED work in Fetlife: https://fetlife.com/users/305828

She enjoys crocheting and baking, and will no doubt die with a thesaurus open on her thigh.

Tagged With: bdsm, bdsm play, bdsm relationship, bdsm scene, dominant, impact play, power exchange, submissive

Power Exchange And Longevity

February 14, 2021 By Ms. Rika 2 Comments

power exchange couple with ribbon
via stock.adobe.com

I hope you have been enjoying Rika’s Lair, my monthly column dedicated to thoughts and experiences  regarding power dynamics in Service-Oriented D/s relationships. Look up “Ms. Rika” in the search box  for links to all of my articles in KinkWeekly!  

Over the past 15 years, I’ve worked with a number of couples establishing power dynamics within their  relationships. I’ve seen a lot of challenges and hurdles overcome: Preconceptions, fears, assumptions,  and wayward imagery. I’m happy to say that, most of the time, we have been successful at creating  meaningful and long-lasting dynamics. Of course, not all the time. 

The relationships that I have seen have varied in intensity; everything from spouses, partners, lovers,  friends, to even professional/client relationships. I’ve seen all sorts of power dynamics layered onto  those relationships; from highly intense TPE (Total Power Exchange) to playtime-only topping and bottoming.  

When you start to see a cross-section of relationships, you start to notice trends. Particularly, trends in  why people enter relationships, characteristics that result in good dynamics, and common reasons why  people have difficulty getting a dynamic to last. People enter into power dynamics with some fairly lofty  expectations. They can easily become disillusioned and disenfranchised, if those expectations are not tempered. 

One of the popular beliefs among those who are into power dynamics, is that power dynamics make a  relationship “stronger”. In particular, that people with power dynamics will have better communication,  be closer, and have increased trust.  

It’s a natural tendency to give the things that you do, particularly those that that are out of the norm,  more importance than they deserve – and I’m afraid, this is one of those situations. Power dynamics do  require communication, trust, and closeness – true – but they don’t, in and of themselves, create them.  

Relationships have base needs. In past articles, I’ve listed a bunch of those, including: Trust, Honesty,  Caring, Mutual Fulfillment of Need, Openness, Communications, Respect, etc. None of these are  uniquely tied to power dynamics: Plenty of folks enjoy high levels of all of these without power  dynamics — and many people who have strong power dynamics do not have high levels of these characteristics.  

It’s safe to say that ANYTHING a couple can do, that relies on these base characteristics, will exercise  them for the relationship. These are opportunities to prove that the characteristics are strong. However,  they are also opportunities that highlight weaknesses. Relying on the relationship-level characteristics  tests their voracity. 

I can think of a few things that tests trust, honesty, caring, openness, communications, etc.: Rock  Climbing, Scuba Diving, and Martial Arts comes immediately to mind when I think of sports; Swinging,  Polyamory, Sex in open places, and power dynamics comes to mind, if I think about sex. 

In my first book, way back in 2008 (omg!), one of the chapters was called, “We are no different”. In it, I  made the argument that being in a power dynamic does NOT make your relationship any stronger, more vital, or more important than any other activities that promote common interests, common goals, and a  strong sex life. Power dynamics are but just one of many things a couple can engage in together, which  will have the same effect. 

When I was growing up, I believed that a strong sex life is vital to longevity of a relationship. I still feel  this is generally true. However, I also saw relationships that failed because the sex life was the primary  draw that brought people together – which worked well in the beginning. However, as both parties  matured at different rates, and the sex life became less “new”, if they hadn’t developed the basic  requirements of relationships, they had nothing left to hold them together and the relationship disintegrated. 

What I’ve come to recognize is that, unlike popular opinion, having a power dynamic does not (in and of  itself) strengthen a relationship, but it CAN help to grow the characteristics that do. It’s the aspects of  the underlying relationship that get exercised because of a power dynamic that really hold the  relationship together. It’s the fact that power dynamics give you the opportunity to explore trust and  communication, respect and consent, caring, openness, and mutual fulfillment. 

I’ve also realized the corollary: That relationships don’t dissolve because of failure in the power dynamic.  People don’t separate because the sex life goes bad -they may use that as a reason (not being physically fulfilled) – but it’s really just an indicator of other, deeper needs that are not being met within the  relationship. A failure in the power dynamic could LEAD TO the feeling that other, relationship-level  requirements, are not being met. If the communication in a relationship is good, then a void in physical  desire will be discussed, mutually understood, and disposed (through agreement, resignation, or compromise).  

Where relationships fail is when failures in the physical are indicators that the partner doesn’t care, isn’t  interested in mutual fulfillment, and isn’t showing respect. THOSE violations impact the base of the  relationship, and will put the relationship at risk. The prime example of this is when one partner sneaks  off and goes outside of the relationship to get physical fulfillment behind the other’s back. They put the  relationship at risk by violating the basic requirements of Trust and Respect. You’ve heard the excuse, “It  was just sex, it meant nothing” … which may well be true – but it’s not the sex that does the damage, it’s  the violation of the fundamental requirements of relationships: trust, caring, respect, etc. that do the  harm. Someone who sneaks off to a professional dominatrix, or who creates a relationship online with a  dominant, without their partner’s awareness and consent, is putting their relationship at risk – not  because of a physical deficiency, but because of the relationship-impacting choices they make in dealing  with the physical deficiency. 

Power dynamics are not the answer, they’re the test. Longevity in a relationship relies on relationship level characteristics. Trust, caring, honesty, respect, mutual satisfaction of need, open communications,  etc. – these are the things that provide longevity. Power dynamics, as well as many other activities and  dynamics in which couples may engage, put those characteristics into use. When a part of your  relationship is exercised, it either demonstrates its strength or exposes its weaknesses. You can’t build a  meaningful relationship on a weak foundation. Adding a power dynamic to a relationship that has weak  base in trust, communication, and caring isn’t going to fix the relationship – it’s going to highlight the  deficiencies. Bad power dynamics aren’t going to destroy a relationship, either – unless the cause of the issues originates due to failure in the underlying relationship requirements, or are interpreted as such.

Keep the layers in mind. I know most people live relationships as a consolidated whole…they have a  single “Power Relationship”, but it’s often helpful to view it as a “Relationship” that has a “Power  dynamic” layered on. Then you can put you focus on the right spot – and not conflate the characteristics of power dynamics with those of relationships. Then you have focus to strengthen those characteristics  that will give the overall relationship longer life. 


Ms. Rika is a lifestyle dominant, educator, and author; living in the suburbs of NYC with her  husband/slave. She has written several popular books on her approach to adding Dominant-Centric,  Service-Oriented D/s to relationships. You can find her books (in both print and eBook formats) at  Lulu.com (http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/msrika), or at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, the iStore, Books-A Million, Kobo.com, or anywhere books are sold. Search for “Ms. Rika”.

Tagged With: bdsm, bdsm play, bdsm relationship, bdsm scene, dominant, fetish, kink, power exchange, submissive

  • Go to page 1
  • Go to page 2
  • Go to page 3
  • Interim pages omitted …
  • Go to page 10
  • Go to Next Page »

Primary Sidebar

Don’t miss out!

Get an email each week when new editions are online
We won't spam you, and you can
easily unsubscribe at any time

Sale – today only

 

Red mini-dress

Support Kink Weekly on Patreon!

Become a Patron!

Help keep us online and get
epic good karma (and no ads)

Already a supporter? We love you! Visit here to enable ad-free browsing.

Get

Power pump for clit & nipples

Latest comments

  • Mr. Mots on When The Kink Doesn’t ClickI've always told myself that if I WERE to fully explore poly then this would be the reason why.
  • Mr. Mots on Some OnlyFans CommentaryEtsy and Ebay can't be lumped in with this. On those two commerce sites you see the product you want...
  • subbyJoe on Slave Auction-It’s For A Good CauseLove <3

Contribute

Want to feature your writing or photography on Kink Weekly? Are you an BDSM/sex expert or professional, and interested in being quoted in an article? Contact us

Archives

Footer

18 U.S.C. 2257 record keeping compliance statement
Always play
Safe Sane and Consensual

Copyright © 2021 · News Pro On Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in