What’s The Difference Between An Orgy and A Gang Bang?

Gang Bang – one person is the central focus with several others fucking that person.Most people think of one room, one chick (guest of honor), and a buncha dudes. But there are gangbang nights at venues, with numerous women in attendance. They hit one of the beds at varying times through the evening. Some of the men will participate in more than one group.Most people also think the center person must be surrounded by partners with all the hands and mouths working. Personally, I prefer the “train” method. One after the other, take a number and form a line.The woman picks her crew, hits a bed, has her fun, and they all leave the bed when they’re done. The sheet is changed and ready for another group. The same woman may pick another crew and go at it again, two or three times, or more.While the party may last four or five hours, I’ve not personally seen any group encounter last much more than twenty minutes, for some reason. 

Orgy — “Do people walk into an orgy expecting anyone can do anything to them or that they can do anything to anyone?”
I’ve never seen an orgy at which anyone could do anything they wanted to anyone else. Consent still matters and, as I said, the events I’ve been to have been mostly heterosexual affairs. Bisexual men and women may be in attendance, but I’ve not personally seen man on man, woman on woman action. Or a woman pegging a man.

Sidebar: I’m not saying it doesn’t happen. Just that I’ve not seen it at the parties I’ve attended. (I’ve been to three venues and countless individual parties in the last four out of five years. The scene was put on hold for the plague.) Some venues have multiple rooms. I can’t be everywhere at once.I don’t attend bisexual or lesbian events, and heterosexual men aren’t interested in seeing man on man action. If there’s bi-action to be had, the het-men want to see two women together. Single het-men are the largest demographic at the parties I’ve attended. Since they pay the most to get in, they are the ones funding the party and making the promoter rich. Women are usually free to get in. If women were charged to get in, few would attend. (It’s called Gender Pricing.)If women don’t attend, there’s no party. 

Consent & Rules — Just because you’re in the big bed with 10 people doesn’t mean everyone can touch, fuck, suck, and lick every body part that comes within reach. Check the rules of the party before you attend. If you still aren’t sure, contact the organizer. Everyone has to mind your manners and ASK if they can touch. If they can suck. If they can fuck. If they can lick. If a couple is already going at it, you have to ask if you can join in. Some parties have a rule not to approach if people are already engaged, to wait until they are done and have left the bed to ask the woman if she would like to play with you. If you ask and the answer is no, then you don’t do that thing. Nor do you ask again. The answer was no. There’s no badgering allowed. There may be two or three beds pushed together to make a large surface, but there are also usually beds off to the side for those who don’t want to be on the big bed. A couple might have their play apart from the group. There’s no rule that everyone at an orgy has to be playing on the same bed or together. An orgy could also be a bunch of couples playing on separate beds. The definitions say: “wild or drunken festivity or revelry, especially involving sex with multiple participants” or “indiscriminate sex”. If we are to strictly follow the definitions, none of the “orgies” I’ve been to have been orgies. Because not everyone is drunk, and it’s not really that wild. It’s all rather orderly and not all that indiscriminate. They’re remarkably vanilla, straightforward sex with very little or no kink or SM activity, even when the venue itself is SM positive.
Excerpt from: The upcoming book Questions Frequently Asked About BDSM