Hourglasses, Toilet Brushes, and Other Kooky Ideas – Pervertables

Gags, blindfolds, earmuffs, hoods, inversion tables, and even vacuum beds; we have devised a tons of ways to mess with the mind in play. Using fear and trust to create a delicious combination of confusion and adrenalin; anticipation and dread. I will use anything I can lay my hands on, manipulate, or change to keep a bottom guessing. Chief among them are pervertables.

A pervertable is anything designed for a non-kinky purpose, which you can use for kinky means. The possibilities are endless, and exciting!

A while back Nibbles and I were walking through a discount store called Gabe’s and saw these uncaged hour glasses. All different colors of sand and in several differing sizes. Now I am always on the hunt for pervertables, everywhere. It is like a fetish all its own. So when I saw those hour glasses my first thought was how I could use one in a scene, not about what a cool conversation piece it could be. Thinking about it for a moment, the seeds of a scene started budding in my head.

A horse sweat scraper at Tractor Supply; a knotted rope toy at PetCo, Rural King had a great lunge whip; Shoknife through a tactical training supply company; and the list goes on. Even ornamental Grass at the Dollar Store is not safe from being violated by the thoughts in my head. Whatever I can pull out and make a bottom go, “damn….what the fuck are you going to do with that?!?!?” is something I am going to be interested in.

Messing with Nibbles – A Pervertable in Action

Nibbles has always challenged me to come up with something new and different. She can get bored quickly. Enter the hourglass.

Setting the mood that night by pulling out some of her favorites; a blindfold, ball gag, floggers, crop, and steel hand irons I could see her anticipation building as each piece was laid out. Normally, I have her lay out toys out and ready the space. This night though, doing it myself was part of the setup. Each taken from the closet or the trunk. Laid carefully in front of her, just so I could pull out the hourglass last. Carefully removing it from the drawer it was secreted in I set it on the dresser without a word.

The look on her face was what I thought it would be, confusion. “Sir??? What’s that for?”

To say I felt a bit of glee at the question would be an understatement. I almost giggled like a schoolgirl. Luckily, her eyes were on the hourglass instead, allowing me a moment to regain my composure. I smiled at her and began explaining the goal for the night. Outlast the hourglass. Simple right? All she had to do was stick with 90 minutes of medium impact mixed with tickling, teasing, orgasm denial, scratching, biting, and whatever else I could dream up. Such a trusting soul.

With her on her hands and knees on the bed and laying over a wedge, I started the hourglass, put her blindfold on……… then tipped the hourglass on to its side. Time for her stopped without her knowing it. Warmup, a bit of play, just enough to get her revved up. 20 minutes later I set the hourglass back up quietly, and “accidently” moved her blindfold when I lifted her chin to kiss her. Nibble’s eyes locked immediately on the glass. The effect was exactly what I had hoped for. Utter disbelief.

Wash, rinse, repeat. She pushed the boundaries of her endurance that night. She was determined not to fail. The result was one of the most amazing scenes we had in quite a while. Both of us were completely wrung out nearly five hours later. To her, it had only been 90 minutes.

Oddities Can Be as Devious as a Single-Tail: I do not do much of the shopping for our home. Nibbles takes care of that for the most part. Once in a while, I venture out to give her a break, which she dreads since I tend to return with something in addition to groceries and household needs. On one such occasion, walking down the cleaning aisle in Wal-Mart a rack of toilet brushes caught my eye and I grabbed one of the horseshoe shaped ones.

Briefly testing it out on my forearm by scraping the stiff bristles against my skin and then snapping it sharply against the inside of my arm a good 20 times to see what it could do. Winner winner chicken dinner! Very small, very red spots began to show in short order. And it stung like fuck! Looked like it would be great for abrasion play and maybe some impact.

She laughed at it when I brought it home. Not so much the next day. Now it is one of her go to stories she tells her friends about pervertables I have purchased.

You Are Only Limited by Your Imagination

A pervertable can be anything you use to manipulate the scene, not just an implement you use on your bottom. The hourglass being one example. Stripped down springs from an old mattress to create an electrobed; wood pallets to create a bondage wall; strobe lights to create visual sensory hyperstimulation; and even a fog machine to create a sense of envelopment…… really the only limits on what you could possibly use, are the ones you put on yourself.

Breaking the bank on very cool high-end toys and gadgets is not something you have to do when setting up your kit. I have found items in everywhere from Dollar Tree (everything is a dollar) to boutique craft stores. Sure, I have plenty of well-made floggers, paddles, slappers, canes, tawses, whips, restraints, Wartenberg Wheels, and other gizmos. But none of them quite get the first-time reaction a well thought out pervertible gets. Half the fun, at least for me, is keeping a bottom guessing about what could be coming next.

If you would rather stick to the standards, by all means do so. But if you are looking to get more adventurous in your toy selections, start thinking outside the box. Take your partner out with you on a pervertible gathering adventure and see what you can find!

Some Things to Keep in Mind When Looking for and Buying Pervertables

As in anything kink, safety is always a concern. We do not want our toys disintegrating in the middle of play and inadvertently causing injury. Causing marks or issues we are not prepared or planned for. Or causing a trust issue to develop, because we as tops did not take the time to really think things through. Considers some of the following when looking at potential pervertables:

–          Avoid anything that can break or shatter easily, even if you are just going to use it for sensation play. If you lay it down for a minute on the bed (or wherever) and then put your knee on it or someone rolls on it, you could be in for a rude awakening, and possibly a visit to the ER.

–          If you can afford to, buy one to beat the hell out of first. Punish it to make sure it will not fall apart on you when you least expect it. You can always buy another one if you think it will work out. Not to mention, having your new toy break during play can be a real bummer.

–          Test the item our on yourself first. Not everything is going to feel or work how you think it will. You may need to change how you think you will be using it, or not use it at all.

–          Be quick to recognize something may be a bad idea. We all have good idea fairies riding on our shoulders. Sometimes they are full of bad advice. Your bottom’s safety and the dynamic are more important than your pride and the $20.00 you spent.

–          Even though you tested the item on yourself, go slow the first few times you use it. Test the waters to make sure it is working how you thought. Be quick to adjust if it does not.

–          Remember, you are going to have to clean it after play (and initially sanitize it). Avoid items which are difficult to clean well.

Be Willing to Laugh –  A Lot

Like everything else, this road of pervertables will be littered with failures. Great! That is how we learn. Expect the unexpected and realize, just because something does not work out how you thought it might, it is not a reflection on either of you. Laugh it off. No really….laugh it off. Nothing repairs a blown moment like refusing to take yourself too seriously.

Using normal implements can be difficult enough to master. Devising and using something completely out of the box is just asking for the need of a good giggle.

Have Fun 🙂

Playing with pervertables can be a great time for all, help us be more creative, keep the surprise in play, and can even be a great scavenger hunt when you are out and about. From searching the local flea market to turning an item in to a finished product and using it, I have a great time through the whole process. Even teasing Nibbles when we are out at the market by pulling something weird of the shelf, showing it to her with a wry smile and getting a, “hell NO!” in response is fun in and of itself.

Be creative and open to possibilities, what you might find at Lowes or even a garage sale can be surprising. You never know where you might find the next favored gem for you toy chest.

TAC is a lifestyle writer, dominant, and mentor who contributes to several online educational groups such as the BDSM Alternative Lifestyle Discussion and Education; Information Exchange for Dom/mes, Masters, and Mistresses; and the Virtual Munch. His writing includes information on self-improvement, growth, dominance, trauma, power dynamics and power exchange, and safety. His goal is to continue giving back to a community of friends who have supported him for nearly three decades. He can be found on Fetlife at TAC_1.