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BDSM And Personal Discovery

July 23, 2021 By Christmas Bunny 2 Comments

how sub woman in chains and leather — via stock.adobe.com

Some of us, one could argue both the lucky and the unlucky ones, knew we wanted something other than the vanilla heteronormative relationships that society in the 80’s and 90’s tried to condition is to want. Lucky because it is easier to find something when you know you’re looking for it; unlucky because you’d be surprised how many people want nothing to do with someone questioning and experimenting with their own sexuality. Perhaps my experiences would have been different today, but I can only embrace that which is mine and move forward with that knowlege.

Had I desired that vanilla heteronormativity, I’d have had lots of opportunities to figure myself out in middle and high school. Unfortunately, instead my late middle school and high school years are a jumble of memories of cuddling with females and being too afraid to take that next step for fear of rejection, and dark porn, clearly staged, badly acted, and a foundation for some sexual imprinting. For those of use who want bondage or any kind of same sex relationships, we don’t have those same opportunities to explore. That’s why the jokes about lesbians not knowing if they are being hit on and awkward bisexuals exist. We lack that early practice and have to stumble through the finding ourselves part while trying to have adult relationships. That’s a lot of pressure all at once.

The same goes for kink. We don’t have shibari opportunities in high school to figure out what works for us. So we all just do the best that we can and figure things out along the way as we figure them out. We are all on our own timelines. Some of us don’t discover that the things we like are not “normal” until someone slaps us in the face with that information. Maybe literally, who knows?

So what does that mean for the questing adult who has tripped over kink rather than sought it out? I have wondered lately how to explain what we do to someone without the foundation I assume people have when they seek us out. I suppose I would start this way:

Kink is many things to many people. It is not up to me to decide how an individual defines that for themself. It is not for me to judge provided the desired activity is consented to by and with a human of legal age who is capable of giving consent, and does not have the purpose of doing lasting harm, rather than fleeting hurt.

I would tell them kink can absolutely be sexual, but that it doesn’t have to be. Sure, threesomes are probably classified in there somewhere as kink, but when the umbrella encompasses so much variety and many different viewpoints, often times sex can take a backseat to pain, even if that pain has sexual connotations or elements to the people engaging in its practice.

I would tell them to find something that appeals to them, and then to seek out more information. Read books, browse fet, find local people and have conversations. Though it can be difficult, try not to find us scary or intimidating. We’re just normal people who happen to have bonded over a common interest. With some it’s video games or comic books, sports, or food. With us, we bond over kink. It’s easy enough to fit right in.

Above all, I would tell them to ask questions. It’s okay not to know everything. Our honesty is our strength. Everyone won’t know everything., and it is okay not to know this.

Most of all, I would suggest finding someone trustworthy to show them the rules. We see consent very differently from the whole of mainstream society. Sadly. It shouldn’t be different, yet the kink community’s views on consent are so much more empowering than the old rules I was raised with. Even with those differences, missteps are easy. Having a guide can make a huge difference.

Be open to new experience. Every day is a gift when we accept what is coming.

Erotica: The Laughter Of Kink

May 27, 2021 By Joji Sada 2 Comments

sexy male Dom with crop — via stock.adobe.com

I asked what you wanted, as I have many times before. Usually, you will tell me you are unsure, and decide in the moment what will please you. This time you had an answer.

“I want to hear you laugh.”

I was taken aback. Have I been so depressed that you are unable to see something so simple? Has it become so rare you feel the need to request it? I am disheartened to think I have stopped giving you such a small thing.

I shake my head of my thoughts and look at you. “You want me to laugh?”

“Yes. It makes me happy to hear you laugh.”

It has been a long time since I was at a loss for words. I do not know where to even begin to make this happen. If it were so easy, I probably would have done so already. It will be a challenge Sir. But I am sure I can accommodate your request.

I am nervous Sir. I have been so unsure of what you have planned. I am so afraid of disappointing you. This is the first time you have told me what you plan to do. I always thought that doing so would take away the anticipation. It did not.

You have decided on tickle torture.

I am convinced of two things. I am probably going to piss myself. And I am probably going to die. Ok, that is a little dramatic, even for me. But I cannot help it.

I am standing before you, completely exposed. I am trying to be patient. Methodically, you are wrapping rope around me. My arms are folded behind me, each hand clasping an opposite forearm. My eyes are closed, and I am trying to relax my breathing.

Ropes have never been a limit. We just do not use them. I have discovered that my patience is minimal when it comes to this kind of prep work.

Your hands are soft as you move the rope around me. Ever so slowly, it tightens into place. Finally, I hear you chuckle. I am curious at what has amused you. My eyes pop open just in time to catch the camera flash.

My head dropped down to hide my blush. No matter how depraved we get, I never cease to feel so shy when your attention is focused on me.

“Head up sweetie.”

I complied.

Your hands are tugging at different spots. I am sure you are making sure that nothing will damage me.

“How does that feel?”

“Good, Master. Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me yet. We are just getting started.”

There is that feeling again. The nervous anticipation.

Your fingers are running through my hair. It is so long now. You seem to have such a fascination with it. I feel a tap on my shoulder, and I kneel. As I settle, I feel a brush run through my hair. I stay silent, enjoying the feeling. You have never done this before.

I try to stamp down the little voice inside my head that tells me that you are dissatisfied with me for leaving my hair down. I normally pull it back, but I thought you might enjoy the change. Was I wrong, Sir? Should I not have deviated from my normal routine?

I try not to let my inner thoughts ruin what you are doing. I have to remember to breathe. It does not matter the why. It only matters what pleases you.

After several long moments, I feel you pull my hair back and wrap it into a ponytail. Then I felt the telltale pull of braiding. I have not had someone braid my hair in years. It is odd how much I am enjoying this.

Of course, I am not blind to the fact that the nicer you are now, the rougher you will be later.

I am sure I make quite the picture, Sir. The white ropes are stark as they crisscross over my skin. My shoulder muscles are taunt from trying to free my hands. My hair hangs in a braid down my back. And the beautiful cherry on top, is my jaw wrenched open by a red ball gag. I can feel the amount of drool sliding down the sides of my mouth.

Do I glisten Sir? Are you enjoying the mess you have turned me into before we have even started?

You do not have to answer Sir. I can see the glint in your eye. You are enjoying this.

At least you were kind enough to use the gag with holes through it. Maybe I will still be breathing at the end of this.

The first shove took me off guard. I have been standing here, just waiting for instructions, and you have not said a word. You just stared at me. Do you know how unnerving that is or how much it makes me want to squirm?

But I know better. I waited, as still as possible, for your instruction.

Suddenly, I felt your hand in the middle of my back and I was forcefully shoved. My body hits the bed and it takes the wind out of me for a second. I try to get my knees under me to adjust myself, but you are not letting up.

The game has begun.

I feel several rough smacks from your hand every time I try to shift up. There is no warm-up today. Finally, taking far longer than it should have for me to understand, I stop trying to get my knees under me. All I am doing is giving you a target.

I start rotating my body so that I can flip onto my side. You start tickling my feet. I cannot help but laugh. It sounds awfully breathy through the gag. I hate being tickled. Did I mention that Sir? I despise it. But above all, I despise anyone tickling my feet. They are so sensitive that it often hurts.

My brain is fighting over the rules. I am not supposed to move when you tickle me. Because you enjoy watching me struggle. Yet, my reflex is to kick at you.

I curl my knees up, trying to keep my feet still but move from your reach. It is a fruitless endeavor. You simply move closer. My body is twisting, I have lost the battle to stay still. I am laughing. I turn to look at you. Your face is filled with Sadistic glee.

In that second, I know exactly why I agreed to this.

I cannot take it anymore. My legs are kicking at you. This just seems to amuse you more. I roll onto my back so I can use my feet to push me up the bed, trying to escape. You expected the move. Your hands wrap around my ankles and tug. My ass is at the edge of the bed. You move over me and straddle my hips. As you meet my eyes, your fingers move to my sides and start tickling me relentlessly.

I toss my head side to side. Your thighs tighten on my hips. I am pinned. I will be at your mercy until you decide otherwise.

It hurts but I cannot stop laughing. My brow is matted with sweat. This is one hell of a workout.

I feel one of your hands move up my stomach and grab roughly at my boob. Your fingers pinch my nipples tightly and you tug upward. You are just holding it. Every time I try to twist from the tickling. You gave me a slight reprieve from the tickling but now both my nipples are under your sadistic hands.

Your thumb and pointer fingers hold tight to my nipples. You seem to enjoy pinching right where my piercings lay. It hurts so much more, especially when you roll them until your nails are dig into the tender flesh.

You smirk down at me when I hiss in pain. Without a word, you lean down and take my nipple between your teeth and tug harshly. I should probably specify that the strangled noise you heard was, in fact, a gasp. A gasp, I repeated, as you spent a few minutes alternating between each of my nipples.

They are so tender Sir. They will be for days. But you know that. You know my work clothes will press upon the tortured flesh and I will be distracted by the memories it conjures.

You let go suddenly and lean back. Your body weight presses down on my thighs and my stomach heaves in exhaustion. You are looking down at me. Your eyes boring into mine. My face is flush. I can feel it. My jaw aches as I pant through the gag.

I’ve never seen you so energetic during play. You have a glow about you. It makes me happy.

I can feel myself slipping Sir. I can see the static starting to form around you. The blood is rushing loudly through my ears, making it difficult to hear. I am quickly sinking into subspace, Sir.

I am positive you see it.

Your hand wraps in the front harness of ropes and pulls my upper body close to you. My eyes feel blown open as I try to meet your eyes. It is so difficult to make eye contact Sir. I am losing focus.

You let go and I drop back to the bed. My head bounces. I am saddened by the loss of pressure.

Suddenly, your hand is wrapped back in the ropes as you spin my body around. I will never understand how you can move me as though I am weightless.

My feet are on the wall and my legs are bent. My head rests in the middle of the bed and I am staring up at the ceiling. I laugh when you wrap my braid around your hands. I understand now.

I needed a handle.

I push against the wall, trying to alleviate the tugging on my head as I am pulled to the edge of the bed. As my head comes to rest, hanging off the bed, I see you crouch down. I feel you undoing the buckle of the gag. Your fingers slide around my cheeks, towards my lips, and you gently pry the gag from between my teeth.

The first thing I did was swallow. I am sticky with sweat and saliva, but I unable to move to wipe it away. As you stand, I move to lift my head, but you prevent it by stepping forward. Your jeans press against my face.

I can smell your arousal Sir. It excites me.

Like the good girl I am, I open wide and stick out my tongue.

Have I been good enough to get a reward Sir? Will I get to taste you?

You stand there for a few minutes. I feel restless. I rub my face against your jeans. Please, Sir. Please may I please you?

I keep still and quiet. You do not like to feel rushed. I am here for your pleasure, not the other way around.

Then I hear it.

Your zipper slides down and the button is tugged from its home. Teasingly, you take your time pulling out your cock. I have no choice but to wait patiently. I am not in a position to initiate anything and you know it.

You put the tip to my lips. I stick my tongue out and work my piercing around the head. I push the tip of my tongue slightly against your slit, moving it up and down for a few strokes before I return to circling the head.

I must have teased you a little too much.

Without warning, your length is down my throat, passed my gag reflex. My throat is spasming around you as I gag. I am struggling to breath. My nose is buried in your balls and your scent is all around me, but I cannot draw breath.

I start struggling. My feet flatten on the bed and I lift my hips. My lower half is twisting, trying to tell you I need to breathe.

You wait a few seconds more.

Then you pull back. I draw breath just before you thrust in again. Over and over, I struggle to breathe as you alternate your rhythm. Sometimes you fuck my mouth without mercy. Then you will bury yourself deep and wait until my body twists and turns in panic before pulling back.

It starts to get fuzzy around here Sir. I remember your hand wrapping around my throat as you push your length slowly back in. You do not go far enough to trigger my gag reflex. My chest is heaving, drawing small, short pockets of air around your cock.

I feel as though I am suffocating but you always leave me enough room to draw breath.

When your hand leaves my neck, I feel you pull yourself from my mouth. My eyes are struggling to stay open.

As they slide closed, my body exhausted, I feel you finish on my face. I can feel it across my forehead and my eyes. There is even a bit sliding down my cheek.

I feel relaxed now Sir. My breathing is slowing, and everything is quiet.

I feel your finger tap twice on my lips. I open obediently. You wipe the last of your cum across my tongue.

I must have missed you speaking. It is rare you resort to hand signals.

It is so quiet.

Where are you, Sir?

My body is freezing now. All the hairs are standing on end and I am shivering.

Your hands are like fire as they caress my skin.

I both love and hate this. I want to curl into you Sir. Yet, I have to wait as you remove the ropes. I know you are being cautious, so I do not get burned, but I just want you to hold me.

Once free, my body just drops. I do not even have the strength to even lift my head.

I jump slightly when I feel a warm cloth on my face. You are cleaning me up.

It saddens me to have my face cleaned but I appreciate you taking care of me, Sir.

Even with my eyes closed, I know you are talking to me. I cannot hear you. But that is normal.

I hope my laughter has pleased you, Sir.

As soon as my senses dull, and I come back to you, I will be sure to thank you properly.

With three kisses to each boot and my forehead to the floor.

Erotica: Fire Fetish

May 20, 2021 By Dame TylerRose. 3 Comments

sexy Domme playing with fire — via stock.adobe.com

Standing at the edge of the road, admiring his work, Marok watched as the flame spread out across the rear of the house. Orange flames climbed up the back wall to consume the dry, unprotected wood walls. He sat on the grass, Brother resting behind him on the front lawn. Leaning back to use the horse as a pillow/bench, they watched the crops and the house burn.

Not long into the watching, Marok slid a hand into his pants to stroke himself nice and slow. The house would take a long time to burn, giving him plenty of time to relish the event. When his pants were too much in the way, he opened the laces to enjoy the cool night air.

Rats and mice, skunks, opossums, spiders and centipedes fled in all directions except the fields of flame. Snakes slithered away as fast as they could. Marok could see their tiny life forces. A family of bats fled through a tiny hole the roof as the fire rose to the second floor.

Marok watched as flames engulfed the entire roof of the house, outlining its shape and reaching far into the sky. Windows blew out, their violence heard from his distance. The best part, when the extreme heat caused various reactions within. An oil keg exploded in the basement. Smaller pops of oil lamps exploded in various rooms. Stacks of firewood in each room went up, including the long cord of dried and drying wood along the side wall.

He gripped his cock tighter in his fist, stroking slow and long, mind completely fixated on and enraptured by the house as overwhelmed with flame as it could get. The warmth of the immense fire reached him. Not hot enough to burn skin or singe hair but enough to make him sweat in the cold night.

Flames lit the night as bright as the sun at noon, illuminating a radius of half a mile. Birds fled nearby trees. People in the distance came out to watch from the safety of their own houses. Townspeople gathered in their second floor windows to watch the fire. He felt their curiosity, their satisfaction at knowing whose land, whose house, was being destroyed.

The smell of burning grain, burning wood, burning meat of any food supplies inside the house or the attached cold larder. He knew there were no people or pets inside. They’d all escaped in the first minute. Buckets of water weren’t going to put out anything. They didn’t even try, were standing on the other side of the drive in front of the house, watching it.

Marok had always found the dancing flames of a fire highly erotic. Fire was a living thing. Consuming, breathing, leaving waste behind, even reproducing if the wind carried burning debris to another field or a forest. Fire was sexy as fuck, the only lover who possessed his heart.

He loosened his grip to reach his fingertips into his pubis mons, to the deepest root of his cock, and slid far out to pull his foreskin over the head. A grunting sigh of intense pleasure, a strong pulse in his hand, the surge of thrill tingling under his skin, causing the hair on his arms to raise and a slow chill to work its way over his shoulders to his scalp. He exhaled long and slow, calming himself to keep control. There was a lot of burn time left and he didn’t want to pop off prematurely.

Flames whirled all through the grain crop like a stage of naked slaves in a dark banquet hall. A row of flames danced atop the roofline of the house, reaching their naked arms into the sky, swooping their heads and hips to their own music. He kept himself slow, prolonging his pleasure as long as possible, wanting to time his finish with the pinnacle of the burn.

The warmth of his flesh in his hand, softness of skin, coarseness of hair around testicles as he reached with his other hand to grip his sack. He needed a shave. Veins underneath skin, felt by thumb and fingers. Familiar lumps and bumps along his stiff rod that he knew how to slip over and around to keep himself hard as long as he wanted without the concluding act.

Two hours into his attentive self-pleasuring, he heard the telltale creaking of the roof weakening. The structure was starting to collapse in on itself. Watching with wide open eyes, he stroked himself with increasing speed. As the peak of the roof caved in, he moved up onto his knees to bring himself to his explosive finish. His ejaculate shot out two feet in front of him, landing in the grass with series of plops and drops. He stripped himself time and again until he had nothing more to expel.

He shook his cock to throw off the last droplets and fell to his ass on the ground to lean more heavily against Brother.

“Fuck that was good,” he sighed, and crossed his ankles to take a nap.

Excerpt from Marok: Rogue Deliverer, to be released later in 2021.

Read his origin in Arlyn the Deliverer and continued adventure in First Queen of Unada.

——————

TylerRose. is known as Dame Tyler in the NYC public SM/Fetish scene. She is an award-winning author who has written three “lifestyle”, four cartoon, and twenty eight fiction books.

Read her books on her Amazon page — https://www.amazon.com/TylerRose./e/B00HCPLSP2

You can also find more of her OP/ED work in Fetlife: https://fetlife.com/users/305828

She enjoys crocheting and baking, and will no doubt die with a thesaurus open on her thigh.

Hourglasses, Toilet Brushes, and Other Kooky Ideas – Pervertables

May 20, 2021 By TAC 3 Comments

power exchange couple with ribbon — via stock.adobe.com

Gags, blindfolds, earmuffs, hoods, inversion tables, and even vacuum beds; we have devised a tons of ways to mess with the mind in play. Using fear and trust to create a delicious combination of confusion and adrenalin; anticipation and dread. I will use anything I can lay my hands on, manipulate, or change to keep a bottom guessing. Chief among them are pervertables.

A pervertable is anything designed for a non-kinky purpose, which you can use for kinky means. The possibilities are endless, and exciting!

A while back Nibbles and I were walking through a discount store called Gabe’s and saw these uncaged hour glasses. All different colors of sand and in several differing sizes. Now I am always on the hunt for pervertables, everywhere. It is like a fetish all its own. So when I saw those hour glasses my first thought was how I could use one in a scene, not about what a cool conversation piece it could be. Thinking about it for a moment, the seeds of a scene started budding in my head.

A horse sweat scraper at Tractor Supply; a knotted rope toy at PetCo, Rural King had a great lunge whip; Shoknife through a tactical training supply company; and the list goes on. Even ornamental Grass at the Dollar Store is not safe from being violated by the thoughts in my head. Whatever I can pull out and make a bottom go, “damn….what the fuck are you going to do with that?!?!?” is something I am going to be interested in.

Messing with Nibbles – A Pervertable in Action

Nibbles has always challenged me to come up with something new and different. She can get bored quickly. Enter the hourglass.

Setting the mood that night by pulling out some of her favorites; a blindfold, ball gag, floggers, crop, and steel hand irons I could see her anticipation building as each piece was laid out. Normally, I have her lay out toys out and ready the space. This night though, doing it myself was part of the setup. Each taken from the closet or the trunk. Laid carefully in front of her, just so I could pull out the hourglass last. Carefully removing it from the drawer it was secreted in I set it on the dresser without a word.

The look on her face was what I thought it would be, confusion. “Sir??? What’s that for?”

To say I felt a bit of glee at the question would be an understatement. I almost giggled like a schoolgirl. Luckily, her eyes were on the hourglass instead, allowing me a moment to regain my composure. I smiled at her and began explaining the goal for the night. Outlast the hourglass. Simple right? All she had to do was stick with 90 minutes of medium impact mixed with tickling, teasing, orgasm denial, scratching, biting, and whatever else I could dream up. Such a trusting soul.

With her on her hands and knees on the bed and laying over a wedge, I started the hourglass, put her blindfold on……… then tipped the hourglass on to its side. Time for her stopped without her knowing it. Warmup, a bit of play, just enough to get her revved up. 20 minutes later I set the hourglass back up quietly, and “accidently” moved her blindfold when I lifted her chin to kiss her. Nibble’s eyes locked immediately on the glass. The effect was exactly what I had hoped for. Utter disbelief.

Wash, rinse, repeat. She pushed the boundaries of her endurance that night. She was determined not to fail. The result was one of the most amazing scenes we had in quite a while. Both of us were completely wrung out nearly five hours later. To her, it had only been 90 minutes.

Oddities Can Be as Devious as a Single-Tail: I do not do much of the shopping for our home. Nibbles takes care of that for the most part. Once in a while, I venture out to give her a break, which she dreads since I tend to return with something in addition to groceries and household needs. On one such occasion, walking down the cleaning aisle in Wal-Mart a rack of toilet brushes caught my eye and I grabbed one of the horseshoe shaped ones.

Briefly testing it out on my forearm by scraping the stiff bristles against my skin and then snapping it sharply against the inside of my arm a good 20 times to see what it could do. Winner winner chicken dinner! Very small, very red spots began to show in short order. And it stung like fuck! Looked like it would be great for abrasion play and maybe some impact.

She laughed at it when I brought it home. Not so much the next day. Now it is one of her go to stories she tells her friends about pervertables I have purchased.

You Are Only Limited by Your Imagination

A pervertable can be anything you use to manipulate the scene, not just an implement you use on your bottom. The hourglass being one example. Stripped down springs from an old mattress to create an electrobed; wood pallets to create a bondage wall; strobe lights to create visual sensory hyperstimulation; and even a fog machine to create a sense of envelopment…… really the only limits on what you could possibly use, are the ones you put on yourself.

Breaking the bank on very cool high-end toys and gadgets is not something you have to do when setting up your kit. I have found items in everywhere from Dollar Tree (everything is a dollar) to boutique craft stores. Sure, I have plenty of well-made floggers, paddles, slappers, canes, tawses, whips, restraints, Wartenberg Wheels, and other gizmos. But none of them quite get the first-time reaction a well thought out pervertible gets. Half the fun, at least for me, is keeping a bottom guessing about what could be coming next.

If you would rather stick to the standards, by all means do so. But if you are looking to get more adventurous in your toy selections, start thinking outside the box. Take your partner out with you on a pervertible gathering adventure and see what you can find!

Some Things to Keep in Mind When Looking for and Buying Pervertables

As in anything kink, safety is always a concern. We do not want our toys disintegrating in the middle of play and inadvertently causing injury. Causing marks or issues we are not prepared or planned for. Or causing a trust issue to develop, because we as tops did not take the time to really think things through. Considers some of the following when looking at potential pervertables:

– Avoid anything that can break or shatter easily, even if you are just going to use it for sensation play. If you lay it down for a minute on the bed (or wherever) and then put your knee on it or someone rolls on it, you could be in for a rude awakening, and possibly a visit to the ER.

– If you can afford to, buy one to beat the hell out of first. Punish it to make sure it will not fall apart on you when you least expect it. You can always buy another one if you think it will work out. Not to mention, having your new toy break during play can be a real bummer.

– Test the item our on yourself first. Not everything is going to feel or work how you think it will. You may need to change how you think you will be using it, or not use it at all.

– Be quick to recognize something may be a bad idea. We all have good idea fairies riding on our shoulders. Sometimes they are full of bad advice. Your bottom’s safety and the dynamic are more important than your pride and the $20.00 you spent.

– Even though you tested the item on yourself, go slow the first few times you use it. Test the waters to make sure it is working how you thought. Be quick to adjust if it does not.

– Remember, you are going to have to clean it after play (and initially sanitize it). Avoid items which are difficult to clean well.

Be Willing to Laugh – A Lot

Like everything else, this road of pervertables will be littered with failures. Great! That is how we learn. Expect the unexpected and realize, just because something does not work out how you thought it might, it is not a reflection on either of you. Laugh it off. No really….laugh it off. Nothing repairs a blown moment like refusing to take yourself too seriously.

Using normal implements can be difficult enough to master. Devising and using something completely out of the box is just asking for the need of a good giggle.

Have Fun 🙂

Playing with pervertables can be a great time for all, help us be more creative, keep the surprise in play, and can even be a great scavenger hunt when you are out and about. From searching the local flea market to turning an item in to a finished product and using it, I have a great time through the whole process. Even teasing Nibbles when we are out at the market by pulling something weird of the shelf, showing it to her with a wry smile and getting a, “hell NO!” in response is fun in and of itself.

Be creative and open to possibilities, what you might find at Lowes or even a garage sale can be surprising. You never know where you might find the next favored gem for you toy chest.

TAC is a lifestyle writer, dominant, and mentor who contributes to several online educational groups such as the BDSM Alternative Lifestyle Discussion and Education; Information Exchange for Dom/mes, Masters, and Mistresses; and the Virtual Munch. His writing includes information on self-improvement, growth, dominance, trauma, power dynamics and power exchange, and safety. His goal is to continue giving back to a community of friends who have supported him for nearly three decades. He can be found on Fetlife at TAC_1.

The Joy Of Anal

May 20, 2021 By SafferMaster 5 Comments

sexy Domme with whip — via stock.adobe.com

We just completed a month of kinky fun. “Anal April” was our challenge to only have anal sex for a month. In truth, it was a bit more than that. My slut was actually in “pussy chastity”. Not an actual chastity device mind you, but an imposed mental chastity. As my obedient slut, she would adhere to “no touching except to clean yourself” for the month of April. At first, we agreed on the idea as a dare. I dared her and she said, “bring it on”. Now, to give you context, you must understand that as kinksters, we have a sex forward and kink forward dynamic and we have kinky sexual scenes just about every day. So, my slut has the experience of being my daily and well-used “3-hole whore”. She is accustomed to being used hard every day where she experiences multiple vaginal and anal orgasms.

When I first met my now collared slut, she told me that she was not fond of anal sex. She had good reason. She shared that during her marriage, her ex-husband has abused her ass. He had done things like forcefully using oversized dildos on her without lube – a real no-no – resulting in dangerous anal tearing that left her in pain and legitimately weary of repeating the error. She was left feeling that in the world of anal sex, it was “better to give than receive”.

Before she put herself forward to be claimed by me, I had made it clear to her that intention was for her to be my personal “3-hole slut”, and I also shared that because “I don’t break my toys”, I would take my time to train her to be used as an ass-whore so that she would want me to fuck her ass (I wrote about training here once before.) Knowing this, with eyes wide open, she made the choice to submit and to kneel for me with a view to living in a 24/7 dynamic in a Total Power Exchange (TPE) as my 3-hole slut.

After she was claimed, her anal training began in earnest. Training her to be a daily use ass whore required that she be fully enrolled. To help achieve this, I shared with her that what I was committed to was that in the end, she would authentically love anal sex and enjoy it as a normal part of our sexual dynamic. She is an amazing and committed slut and she understood that in our 24/7 TPE, her responsibility was to serve, so with those thoughts in mind, she registered into be trained as my ass whore. Remember kinksters, in kink, consent is everything. She was being trained to have her ass lit up with a flogger and fucked to completion.

She first learned to prepare herself for anal by defecating before sex and using an enema to clean herself further. Because I desire my slut to be my ass-to-mouth whore, she needed to be sure she was thoroughly cleaned. She would complete the pre-anal sex prep by squirting a dollop of lube into her ass so she could confidently approach anal sex knowing that she was clean and lubed and that there would be no “visitors”. A note here that “dirty” anal sex is potentially dangerous as well as messy, and since neither she nor I are into scat, we prefer not to engage in “dirty anal”. Also, I like to eat her ass, so I want her clean too. So, with that in mind, thorough preparation before play is a must.

Second, there is the issue of lubrication. It is important to remember that the anus makes no lube at all. None. So, you must use lube in order to have safe and fun anal sex. Rectal tissue tearing is dangerous and painful and gets in the way of regular anal sex. For this reason, there are three key words associated with anal sex that every kinkster must know. LUBE, LUBE, & LUBE! Both during training and since, I use lot of lube every time we have anal sex, and I still make sure to never force my way into her ass. This is the third principle of training her. I first surf her ass with my hard cock, then I put the head of my swollen thick cock against her anus and allow her to take me in at her pace and with the force that she generates. This allows her to control and manage the process of relaxing and getting used to my size (I have a very thick cock, so this is necessary, and it is a good method to use no matter your girth). Whenever we have anal sex, I use lots of lube, even more lube than one might think necessary. In anal, there can never be too much lube. Let me say that again. Use as much lube as you can to make sure that you are both having fun. There is nothing quite like fun anal sex. Its really, really hot!

The 4^th principle I applied while training her is that I require her to wear a butt plug every day, all day, whenever she is out of the house. It is a way for her to keep me “close to her”, and it has the dual benefit of training her ass to be accustomed to penetration. She is also required to send me a picture of her plugged and marked ass every morning, which helps to codify our dynamic. As time passed, we gradually increased the size of the butt plug to make sure that she was getting used to accepting bigger items in her ass.

I also made it a habit to use her ass with every scene so that she was rewarded for preparing her ass for me to use. On a gradient she began to experience anal pleasure and then anal orgasms when I fucked her ass. It seems that the combination of my size along with the angles that we explore while engaging in anal sex during our play causes me to hit her G-spot when I am fucking her ass, which results in anal sex making her dripping wet and she even has squirting orgasms with ass sex.

Eating her ass is the way she finally got related to her ass as a sexual organ. Keep in mind that the thousands of nerve endings around the ass are related to the Pudendal Nerve, which is the same nerve that innervates the clitoris and the penis. Interestingly and somewhat remarkably, she now actually climaxes when I eat her ass. It’s a very different climax to a clitoral climax to be sure, but she definitely climaxes with earth shattering orgasms with anilingus. Plus, it’s a scene that is hot as hell! I am on my knees stroking my throbbing cock while she is cumming as I eat her red-hot ass. HOT!

For going on 3 years now, she has had almost daily use as a 3-hole-whore. She is my ass-to-mouth slut and she regularly gets her ass eaten, flogged and fucked. Its perfection and its hot as hell.

Imagine the scene where she has had her pussy fucked and eaten to multiple orgasms, where she has had repeated uses of her mouth and ass, where I have eaten her ass which has been flogged bright red and where the scene ultimately ends in a primal screaming simultaneous orgasm as I pump my seed into her ass. Its that really hot, and its our scene every single day.

Anal sex is a big part of our sexual self-expression. It is naughty and dirty and sexy and erotic and it is as exotic as hell. We love it.

Our scenes definitely take us to a place where we are deeply in our primal state. Limbic system creatures. Having ass play create that experience for us has been a most unexpected outcome.

To be fair, she does not have the only butthole in the room when we fuck. I have enjoyed her exploring my ass as part of our play too. This occurs in two ways for us. The first is that I love when she eats my ass. So, for her to be safe from acquiring a disease by doing this, I also prep before sex. I make sure to defecate and to thoroughly clean myself with a washcloth before we play. When her tongue is on or in my ass and she is pulling hard on my balls and stroking my cock, there is so much sensory input that I am a literally quivering mess. She can easily bring me to orgasm this way. The other way she uses my ass is to massage my prostate when my cock is down her throat. Again, she uses lube, and she keeps a particular nail trimmed. She could use a finger condom if she wished, but the truth is that the amount of finger she inserts to get onto my prostate is only and inch or so, so she is unlikely to get feces on her finger even if I had not voided. As she massages my prostate, she describes it as if she is “feeling like a walnut that is a bit squishy”, and when she brings me to climax this way, the stimulus makes me cum so hard and with such volume that I tend to drown her in cum.

The third way we could play, is for her to peg me. Put on a strap-on and fuck my ass. It’s not something we have done yet, and being pegged does not make a person gay as everyone knows, but for us, it’s an item on the menu for another day. When the time comes, I will do the same sort of things she does to prepare to make sure I don’t suffer an injury and tear my rectal tissue in a dangerous way. And she will

use the same sort of strategies I used to get her ready for anal to get me ready for anal. And she will use lube. LOTS of lube.

There are those folks in the gay community especially, but not exclusively, who are into size play. The idea that you can really stretch the rectum and insert bigger and bigger items into the ass, from dildos to fists is the point of the play. To my way of thinking, this way of playing is an extremely dangerous behavior and great care is needed to ensure that one does not tear the tissue or cause permanent damage. Rectal fissures can indeed be deadly. Engaging in anal size-play, one needs to be thoughtful and careful to safely enjoy putting huge items in your partner’s ass.

Back to Anal April. We got a lot out of our month of anal-only sex. And I learned a lot about my slut and myself. It became clear to me how much of a masochist she is, now much of an ass whore she is, how loving she is, how horny she is, and how committed to me she is. You can read about the experience in my fetlife account where I kept a daily diary of the experience. Suffice it to say that what I got out of the experience most of all is the awareness that I am even more of an anal whore than she is. I am addicted to her ass and to have her use my ass. One of the best parts of Anal April was that the sex that followed in May, our after Anal April sex, is truly mind blowing because as we incorporated using her pussy into our scene, she had the experience of being fully present to a whole new context for her ass as a sexual organ.

For this reason, putting all other reasons aside, I encourage you to explore anal sex based on this one idea alone. As a man, your sex organs are your cock, your balls and your ass/prostate. As a woman you have your pussy (including your clit and G-spot), your tits and your ass. For both men and women, your ass represents one third of your sex organs. A third!

Are you really prepared to surrender one third of your sexual satisfaction to morality? Happy anal.

P.S. Use lube. LOTS of lube.

SafferMaster and Lady Petra offer Kink Relationship Coaching with online, group, and personal coaching options.

You can access the coaching services offered by Lady Petra Playground by reaching out for an initial conversation- LadyPetraPlaground@gmail.com

The Patreon is also a way to sign up: https://www.patreon.com/LadyPetrasPlayground Lady Petra and SafferMaster also produce the Kinky cocktail Hour podcast available on all podcast platforms

This week in kink: May 24, 2021

May 20, 2021 By Dexx 2 Comments

Are there any kinks or fetishes or sexual acts that should be and/or are off limits?

Is consent by all parties the only factor redgarding ethical play?

To further answer these questions, check out this riveting article from refinery29!

Don’t miss Hajime Kinoko’s amazing Shibari installation!

Click below to read more from Cision!

Mistress Velvet, the amazing Domme that tried her best to spread the word of black feminism to her subs, passed recently.

Click below to find out more

Have some kinky news to share? Tell us about any upcoming BDSM events, new products, dungeon openings / closings, kink in mainstream media, and anything else you think kinky folks might be interested to hear about. Send your tips through to kinkweekly@gmail.com, and it might just end up on next week’s “This Week in Kink.”

Alternatives To Physical Punishment

May 20, 2021 By Evie Lupine 2 Comments

Want to learn how to better discipline your submissive?

Then, check out this amazing video by the fabulous Evie Lupine!

Alternatives to Physical Punishment: MORE Effective Discipline! [BDSM]

Watch this video on YouTube

How To Spot A Fake Submissive

May 14, 2021 By Evie Lupine 2 Comments

Phony D-types aren’t the only types to look out for. There can be fake submissives too.

With this being said, tune in for this week’s video brought to us by the fabulous Evie Lupine!

How to Spot a FAKE SUBMISSIVE | BDSM

Watch this video on YouTube

Pet Play: A Simple Life

April 24, 2021 By eve 2 Comments

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***All pieces of erotica are fictional. We NEVER condone anything is not safe, ethical, and/or consensual

They sit in the franchise coffee shop sipping steaming beverages from oversize mugs, non-descript men, and women. She’s scrolling through her phone. He is cradling his head in his hand and reading a document. He scribbled on the page, and she sat forward to respond to him. No PDA, but you knew they were together. “It is as we discussed. Let me know if we need to change anything,” she said matter of factly as she returned to her original position.

In calligraphy across the page was Contract of Submission: Owner/pup. Their pet names of Mistress Victoria and Kevin the worm and April 19, 2021, were the qualifying details.

The first section was grooming and health. The puppy was to inform Master if he ever felt unwell. He would wear a collar and home and a leather bracelet in public. Puppy is to present a clean bill of health, including STI screening before play.

Owner’s responsibilities

Pup will receive care and attention for his needs. Pet will be watered, walked, and fed, every day. Toys will be provided when the Owner is not available. Pet training and play is 24/ 7 from Friday at 6 to Sunday at 9 pm in the Owner’s home.

Pet will be permitted on the furniture with Owner’s permission. Otherwise, his dog bed or kennel.

Rewards are at Owner’s discretion.

Play will include games like tug of war and wrestling, as well as paddling in the pool. Discipline and punishment may happen during training sessions. The water gun or rolled-up newspaper will be used to draw attention to poor pet habits. All attention will be withdrawn for severe misbehaviour, and Pup will spend no less than 2 hours in his cage without lights or entertainment.

Pet agrees:

He will learn to fetch, heel, beg, do tricks and lay at the Owner’s feet.

He will wear a collar and lead during sessions and be restrained safely.

Pup will use the human toilet and bath regularly. Pup will ask permission to use the toilet by heeling on the right side of the bathroom door and on the left side for bathing and hygiene.

If it is an emergency, the Pup has permission to bark and call attention to his urgent need.

Pup will sleep in his dog run and have his blankets. Occasionally, the dog may be permitted to sleep in Mistress’s room on the floor.

Safewords and a triple clap or tapping stops play immediately.

The terms of the contract will be revisited every three months.

He raised his eyes to meet hers, smiled and signed to document. He slid the paper across the table and waited. She signed it and put it in an envelope. He reached for her hand, but she pulled it away. He whimpered and bowed his head. This 6-foot broad-shouldered rogue of man had the body posture of a naughty schoolboy. He sat silently and focused on this oversized coffee mug. She texted and paid little mind to him. She gets up, touches the top of his head and speaks softly close to his face before she goes to the bathroom. The intensity of the communication was palpable. You could feel his sadness and her displeasure. He finished his drink and was waiting by the door, like a dog awaiting the arrival of his Master. He held the door, and she walkthrough. They wandered towards the far end of the parking, in no particular hurry, despite to cold wind. As they walked, she reached up and rubbed the back of his neck. He seemed to perk up and stand a little taller as they made their way to a giant black SUV. She drove a black escalade with tinted windows. As they approached it, he helped her in and then sat in the back seat. It was difficult to see through the tinted windows, but it was apparent that he was getting a tongue lashing.

They arrived back at the house. She opened the door and let him go in first. Once inside, they put coats on hooks. He continued to undress and placed his clothes in a box at the bottom of the closet. He put black fuzzy mitts on his hands and feet before he got down on all fours. She took a choke chain and heavy metal lead from a hook and placed it around his neck. He raised his head to ease the process but did not move.

“Good, boy, walk on,” she went ahead of him and went to the kitchen. Pup picked up his lead with his mouth and made his way to the kitchen after his Master. He moved on all fours in a practiced manner, his feet were up off the ground, and his knees provide the much need traction on the shiny floor. In the kitchen, he sat near the sink and watched as she began supper prep. She gathered the ingredients and started to chop vegetables. He moved to her side and nudged her thigh with his head, not looking up. She pushed him off but did not make eye contact. All the vegetables were dumped in a colander, rinsed and ready to be cooked. He put his paws up on the counter and yelped—his chain rattling and scraping across the floor.

“Get down, mister,” she said, turning off the water. He did not move and tossed his head towards the vegetable. “Yes, you will get your dinner, now get down” she smiled at his playful, fun-loving nature. She tossed a piece of broccoli along the counter, and he gobbled it down. He went to his water bowl and lapped up some water. Satisfied with the attention, he wanders into the living room to sit on his dog bed.

Cooking smells soon draw Pup’s attention back to the kitchen. Mistress is putting chunks of chicken and vegetables in his food bowl, and for a treat, she tops it with crispy Chinese noodles. Pup bounds in on all fours, this time, he is on his slippered feet, and his hands struggle to not lose his balance. Mistress laughs at the comedy of his movement. He is delighted with her laughter and continues to wave his bottom and toss his head about. After a good laugh, Mistress tells Pup to settle down and eat his dinner. Pup crouches down and eats slowly, careful not to choke. Mistress checks in before she sits at the counter and uses chopsticks to eat her dinner. She scrolls on her phone and replies to messages. As she rinses the dishes and loads, the dishwasher pup watches everything; she does but stays out of her way. As she pours a glass of wine, she hears a yip. He is no longer in the kitchen; he is in front of the bathroom door. Holding his lead in his mouth.

As she removes the leash, she says, “Now, is that the right or left side of the door?” Pup looks confused.

“Potty is the right side of the door, don’t forget.” He bounds to the right side of the door and crouches as if to heel. “Ok, next time, I will remind you with the newspaper.” He bobs his head in understanding and closes the bathroom door behind him.

Mistress leaves her wine in the living room and goes to her room to change out of her business close. It has been a long week. When she comes out of her closet, Pup is on the bed and bouncing around, wanting to play. When he sees her, he freezes and holds eye contact. Flinching to invite Mistress to play. He knows he’s not supposed to be on the bed, but it’s fun to play on the bed. He bounces and motions for her to join him. When she approaches the bed, he comes to meet her using his head and should, rubbing against her hip and stomach, waiting for the attention he so deeply craves. She tussles his hair and strokes down his back. Pup slows and presses himself close to enjoy the closeness. Mistress is very kind and makes him feel special. He can’t contain his excitement and jumps up on her, so she falls on the bed. They wrestle and have playtime until the Pup is tired and lies down.

“Alright, off the bed, let’s go watch a show. How about a game show or a movie, no reality TV?” Pup barks and nods his head in approval. He gets down and makes his way to the living room. Mistress straightens the bed and goes looking for her wine. For the remainder of the night, she watches Tv and drinks wine while he lies close to her feet, content and happy in her company.

Fear, Trust, and Finding Your Rhythm As A Top/Dominant

April 24, 2021 By TAC 2 Comments

sexy submissive hair pulling toilet slut — via stock.adobe.com

Fear is a healthy reaction to the unknown. The right amount keeps us form going overboard. Too much keeps us from experiencing things, and we miss out. It does not matter if it is stepping on a roller coaster, getting in the car for the NASCAR experience, performing a caning, or rigging your first suspension. Fear is the dividing line between what we can do now, and what we can achieve.

Regular posts from bottoms/submissives appear on the boards asking how to help their tops/dominants get over the anxiety of causing pain and potential injury. Sometimes posts from new tops/dominants, asking for help so they can give their submissive what is needed or desired. Fear holds those dominants back. Fear of themselves, fear of causing harm, uncertainty in skill, and possibly not understanding trust during play, not just the dynamic, is a two-way street.

Trust in a Scene is a Two-Way Street

One of the tallest mountains a top/dominant can climb, is learning how to trust their bottom/submissive during a scene. Sure, we trust them to say when they are having a hard day, not hiding medical problems, or if they are not in good head space. That kind of trust is easier to understand because we have been practicing it our whole lives. That of a good partnership and friend. In play the bottom/submissive is placing their safety and possibly life in the top’s/dominant’s hands, and they are asking us to let go. To give in to some of our baser instincts which society has trained out of us. To be demanding, to be rough; not just to give, but to TAKE. It can be, and is, awe inspiring and overwhelming all in the same breath.

Learning to trust the bottom/submissive to say when too much, is too much. Pain does not always mean harm, injury, or lasting damage. Some bottoms/submissives crave pain, others may like it mixed in with sensual play. You may be a top/dominant who enjoys delivering pain. Let your submissive help guide you on what works and what does not for them. Take your time to study and learn from others how to play safely without causing harm. All the aforementioned cannot come just from the top/dominant, a book, or even a mentor – but must include communication with and information gained from our bottom/submissive.

Fear is about Me…..not We. Changing Mindset.

Being stuck in the mindset of fear, is all about the individual, not the partnership. The ego saying the top/dominant is supposed to know better, supposed to have all the answers, must make all the decisions. Which leads to, “I am afraid of…… I don’t know how…. I don’t know when… what if I fail,”….etc. versus, “we will experience…. we will find the edges….. we will learn….. together.” Tops/dominants are expected to take on a lot of responsibility, to learn, become proficient, and to lead. The mistake is thinking it can be done in a bubble. Trust your bottom/submissive and their feedback to help shed light where it is hard to see.

“I don’t know my own strength,” or something similar is heard commonly. Expressing a reserve from pushing their own boundaries, let alone that of a bottom/submissive. So what? As tops/dominants we do not need to understand our own strength nearly as much as we do the strength of our bottoms/submissives. Work with them so you know if you can go harder or need to be softer. Physically and mentally.

Finding the mindset to balance the fear is a must. The place in the mind which allows acceptance of the bottom’s/submisssive’s trust and trusting them in return. Leveraging that trust to move past the abstract chains keeping a top/dominant from walking forward into the unknown. Embrace the uncertainty as it will always be there to one degree or another. But lean on trust so experiences are not missed, and the desires of both partners can be fulfilled. To learn as tops/dominants, we are not doing something TO our submissive, we are experiencing something WITH them. We are not causing pain, but delivering sensation which is desired and even craved.

Don’t Just Guess

“I’m not sure what to do….,” Ask. Ask your submissive what they are willing to try. Use imagination when designing play. Trust that when a submissive says, yes, they mean it. Whether subscribing to SSC, RACK, PRICK or the half dozen other paradigms regarding safety in play, having faith in each other, communication and consent are at the heart of all of them. Take time to thoroughly research a kink or aspect of play together before doing it. When the research is done, plans are made, and consent has been given…. accept bottoms/submissives have their own minds, and are making a decision to TRUST you…..so trust them.

“They want me to really go rough with them, but I’m afraid of hurting them…,” Well they are not, or they would not be asking for it. They may want the rush of adrenaline and the high which comes from play. The deep bond which can come from enduring and feeling in ways not normally felt. It can be done without damaging them or causing serious injury. It takes time, practice, research, patience, and seeking their feedback.

Have a Process

When I work with a new bottom or submissive, even if they are experienced, I take it slowly. Everything is discussed beforehand. Not just about the play itself, but what implements will be used; how I will be communicating with them; warning signs and signals; safe words; where the first aid kit will be located etc.

Warming up in the scene; checking in with them throughout asking where their comfort level is; 1 to 10. Watching how they act and react to different implements, how they are used, or different strikes on parts of their body. Both of us learning each other as we go. We do not have to know it all right out of the gate. We do need to have a plan, be focused, and pay attention.

After the scene, sometimes the next day, I will recap the scene with them; ask them what they did and did not like; what went well and what did not; If something was too much or too little; is something they want more of. The point being, with someone new, or as a new top/dominant, we have not learned to read our bottom/submissive yet. This is an opportunity to gain their input and learn.

As time progresses and with becoming more experienced, we will be able to read body language better and see the cues the bottom/submissive gives. Patience, practice, and listening to the bottom/submissive will help get a us to where we need to be. This does not take the place of good communication, but augments it allowing the scene to be more organic.

Finding a Rhythm

“I really like flogging, but am I doing it right?” Whatever it is, it rarely gets done right the first time, or even the first ten times. I can cane one submissive one way….. and for another it just does not work for them. It is as much art as it is science. The physical techniques will only get you part of the way. Learning what works for you and a particular bottom/submissive is the art. Some require a soft warm up, others prefer a hard shock to get them focused before warming and building into play. This is a process which requires the participation of both the parties. Don’t be afraid to experiment WITH them.

If you stick with it long enough you will learn your bottom/submissive. Just like playing poker, everyone has tells. Reading them becomes part of that experience. Eventually play/scenes become a dance where only the two of you can hear and understand the music. Talking through things is still important, but you will find the rhythm between the two of you that works.

Putting it All Together

Learning yourself and your bottom/submissive; learning more about the kinks that are of interest; and learning to let go of the fear. These become part of the building blocks for you to begin letting go and truly trusting your partner.

Trust is the daylight which pushes back the boundaries of fear. Trust in your bottom/submissive will pay off in your own self confidence because it frees you to be who you are. It is ok to be anxious when pushing forward into unknown territory. Just realize you are not doing it alone, but with your partner. Trust them, and they will trust you.

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