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Types Of Power Exchange Dynamics

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I have been known to argue definitions a time or two.  I ascribe to the traditional (often referred to as Old Guard) views.  However, I am realistic and recognize that as the community grows, becomes more mainstream, and evolves, I am going to meet people who disagree with me.

 I love it.  I thrive on the intellectual debates and wider viewpoints that other people’s experiences have shaped. 

That said, I have been in a debate for near a week now that I thought would interest you.  Going forward, I will be discussing types of play that are extremely sensitive in nature and may be triggering to some individuals.  Please proceed at your own risk.

The debate started because I was curious about several terms that are commonly used interchangeably.  Consensual non-consent, 24/7, Total Power Exchange, and Total Authority Exchange are the terms we will be exploring.  

I will revisit my thoughts on these after we lay some groundwork.

Let’s start with the basics: definitions.

Power Exchange: A dynamic between two (or more) individuals in which one (or some) take control of decisions and one (or some) give up control.  These dynamics can be romantic, sexual, business like, mental, or even spiritual in nature.  Outside of the exchange of control, each is unique to the persons involved.

24/7: This is a PE dynamic that is in effect at all times, even when the Dominant and submissive are not together (i.e. at work, running errands, etc).

  • It is extremely common for 24/7 to be used interchangeably with Total Power Exchange (TPE).
  • 24/7 is also commonly associated with High Protocol dynamics and the idea of a live-in slave.

While these are both viable examples of 24/7, the actual definition simply means the dynamic is “all the time.”  It can be Daddy Dom/little girl, Master/slave, soft/hard Dom/submissive, Sadist/masochist, Handler/pet, and so forth.  

Total Power Exchange: A TPE is a dynamic where the submissive has given up all decision-making abilities to the Dominant.  

  • Most often, a TPE is generally used to refer to an M/s dynamic.  This is especially true with the online educational communities.
  • There are debates that those in a TPE dynamic are only “real” if they do not have limits beyond their Masters’, do not use a safeword, and do not work outside the home.
  • This is also often portrayed as a High Protocol only dynamic.

Total Authority Transfer:  A TAT dynamic is one where it is consensually agreed that one person assumes authority and one person yields authority. “Total” signifies that it is a transfer of complete, or near-complete, authority. Although this could be for a predetermined time or indefinite, a “total authority transfer relationship” implies that it is ongoing until consent is withdrawn.

  • This is a term I was less familiar with and had to research its inherent difference from a TPE.  I found the above definition to be the most concise.  It was found in the BDSM glossary on Fetlife.  
  • At first read, the two terms do seem very similar.  Through research, the difference is the equality of power kept by each person involved.  A TPE is a D/s or M/s dynamic where someone gives up their power to make their own decisions.  A TAT is an agreement between two individuals where one yields to another’s decisions while still retaining the ability to make opposing decisions if they choose to.
  • An example of this is what I have with my wife vs. Master.  Master makes all the decisions in our relationship.  We have a TPE.  However, my wife and I have a different relationship.  
  • One example is with money.  She has her own money and the power to spend it as she pleases.  She is an adult.  Through mutual agreement, however, I keep the money in my account, give her an allotment, and approve all non-necessary purchases.  She has given me this right because she can be impulsive with money.  Another example is medical decisions.  She has the right to make her own appointments and keep track of her own meds.  She has given me the rights to those decisions for her safety and due to prior trauma, which tends to impede her ability to initiate self-care.  She can withdraw the consent at any time and in this, there is no punishment when her decisions do not align with mine.  It revolves heavily around communication, understanding, and the ability to explain why I have made the decisions I have made when she does not understand them.
  • Non-consensual Consent (NonCon/CNC):  According to the BDSM Glossary on Fetlife.com, CNC is a “mutual agreement that within defined limits, or subject to a Safeword or other restrictions, and to common sense, consent to activities without foreknowledge of the exact actions planned.”  
  • That is a fancy way of saying “do what you want as long as I haven’t used my safeword and nobody is gravely injured.”  At least, that’s how I read it.  Essentially, CNC is any play that is not pre-negotiated and involves the illusion of non-consent. 
  • CNC is often tied to edge play.  Knife play, gun play, kidnapping roleplay, rape roleplay, race play, home invasion roleplay, medical play and other type of play that has an element of resistance, coercion, or fear.  For reactions to be more genuine, most of the scene may be left undiscussed.  
  • CNC in no way means that they do not have the right to Safeword at any time.  As with any type of scene, anyone involved has the right to withdraw consent at any point before or during play. You also have the right to refuse aftercare, even if it was previously negotiated.
  • Personally, I also add the term Dubious Consent (Dubcon).  It involves coercion, blackmail, and/or abuse of power roleplay.  It could be as simple as pursuing someone consistently, after they have said no, until they give in to your wants.  I have this listed because it can be included in some fantasy play.  Things like Headmaster/student, Boss/secretary, or Head of Household (HoH)/maid.

That was quite a few definitions we just went through.  I am going to give you a moment to breathe now.

Alright, time’s up.  

Let’s get into the juicy part of this: the drama

For those of you who haven’t read my articles before, here is some background information.  Master and I have been in a TPE for four years, He has collared me, and He has blanket consent from me.  Blanket consent means that he can do as he pleases without prior consent, negotiation, or discussion with me.  Unless I safeword, he has free reign.  I do not claim to be up for anything.  There are a minimal number of items on my hard limit list.  These hard limits are ones that Master shares.  I do not have a soft limit list.  If Master chooses to try something, we are going to try it.

Blanket consent, by definition, depicts a CNC mindset.  Therefore, I have been told that my relationship is CNC/TPE by several members of a “Traditional BDSM” group I am in.  That was the first time I had seen those terms used interchangeably.  

**On a side note, the “TNG” group told me the terms were different but that my dynamic was invalid because I do not negotiate nor do I safeword (even if I technically have one).  But that’s a different story**

From there, I became extremely curious if this mixing of definitions was common.  So, I started asking questions since the varying groups had members from across the United States and extending around the world.

There was a quick divide in opinions.  The minority agreed with the statement above; CNC/TPE are the same.  But the wider majority disagreed, loudly.  The resounding opinion was that CNC applies only to scenes and not to the structure of a dynamic.

Which, honestly, surprised me.

There has always been an underlying teaching (especially in the last ten years or so) that BDSM is unique to each relationship.  How it is defined, structured, and lived is up to those involved.

So, why does there continue to be the argument of definition?

It comes down to our experiences.  All the definitions I have listed are different.  24/7 is a broad, umbrella term that separates part-time dynamics (weekend, bedroom only, pick-up play, or business transaction—pay for play) from full-time dynamics.  The consensus seems to be that 24/7 dynamics must be a live-in dynamic.  I do not have as strict a belief of that because there are times I am gone for weeks for work.  Master’s rules do not change when I am gone.  I work as a service to Him, to help our household thrive.  My absence from the house, when necessary, does not put our dynamic on hold.

I was trained in the era listed above, under TPE.  “[t]hat those in a TPE dynamic are only “real” if they do not have limits beyond their Masters’, do not use a safeword, are always in High Protocol, and do not work outside the home.”  I have learned with Master that the defining factor of our dynamic is the submission to His will.  That means that our TPE is not diminished because He requires a safeword.  His power does not end when I go to work.  The amount of protocol, at any time, is His choice, not mine.  Trying to conform to the definitions of the masses undermines His authority.  Above all, His word matters most.

By the definition, and examples, I have provided, CNC is typically scene related.  I typically consider it an addition to our dynamic because of the blanket consent.  If Master wants to lend me out to others, sexually or otherwise, that is his prerogative.  If he wishes to enact a CNC style scene, it does not end until He is ready for it to conclude.  It is my own thoughts on what submission means that drives these commitments to Him.

Each time these arguments happen, I can see the passion in their own beliefs.  I can see the experiences laid bare for all to see.  I can see the pain of their failures, the triumph in their growth, the confusion and reflection as they learned about themselves, and I can see their commitment to their lifestyle path.

No one experiences any of that the same way and our experiences create our definitions.

More than likely, the debate on these terms will continue to be a point of contention.  The longer we have been involved in the lifestyle, the more rigid our definitions seem to be.  But everyday more and more people discover the world of BDSM.  With their enthusiasm, they bring their own experiences.  With time, they will bring growth and evolution to the traditions we live by.  If we fail to balance our traditions and our growth, we risk staying stagnate and losing our lifestyle through exclusivity.

I do not pretend to speak for anyone but myself.  I am going to continue to get into discussions, and arguments, with others so I can learn.  Master helps me grow in my submission and in my ability to self-reflect.  My community (which extends across the world because of the internet) helps me expand my definitions, my thoughts, and, most importantly, my experiences.

My name is Joji.  I am 29 years old currently and I have been in and around the kink community about 15 years.I am a collared submissive to Magick42.  I am also a Daddy to a wonderful babygirl, and have been for more than three years now and I find it very fulfilling.  I am being mentored in and being taught electroplay.  I am a masochist at heart and thoroughly love impact play, especially caning.  I enjoy reading anything I can get my hands on and am a die hard Harry Potter and Doctor Who fan.  I am also the secretary for a group in Idaho called Moscow S.P.A.R.K.E (Simply Providing Another Route to Kink Education).  It is our mission to teach safe practices to those new to the community and give them a safe haven to ask questions and learn without judgement.  We accept all kinks and all we ask in return is respect between all our members.

This week in kink: October 18, 2021

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Want to learn more about what it means to bottom?

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Learn about the Uk’s oldest Pro Domme, Mistress Sofia from DailyStar!

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AnnaLynne McCord talks about how she uses BDSM to cope with childhood trauma.

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AnnaLynne McCord Opens Up About Using BDSM To Cope With Her Childhood Trauma

Have some kinky news to share? Tell us about any upcoming BDSM events, new products, dungeon openings / closings, kink in mainstream media, and anything else you think kinky folks might be interested to hear about. Send your tips through to kinkweekly@gmail.com, and it might just end up on next week’s “This Week in Kink.”

BDSM And Personal Discovery

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Some of us, one could argue both the lucky and the unlucky ones, knew we wanted something other than the vanilla heteronormative relationships that society in the 80’s and 90’s tried to condition is to want. Lucky because it is easier to find something when you know you’re looking for it; unlucky because you’d be surprised how many people want nothing to do with someone questioning and experimenting with their own sexuality. Perhaps my experiences would have been different today, but I can only embrace that which is mine and move forward with that knowlege.

Had I desired that vanilla heteronormativity, I’d have had lots of opportunities to figure myself out in middle and high school. Unfortunately, instead my late middle school and high school years are a jumble of memories of cuddling with females and being too afraid to take that next step for fear of rejection, and dark porn, clearly staged, badly acted, and a foundation for some sexual imprinting. For those of use who want bondage or any kind of same sex relationships, we don’t have those same opportunities to explore. That’s why the jokes about lesbians not knowing if they are being hit on and awkward bisexuals exist. We lack that early practice and have to stumble through the finding ourselves part while trying to have adult relationships. That’s a lot of pressure all at once.

The same goes for kink. We don’t have shibari opportunities in high school to figure out what works for us. So we all just do the best that we can and figure things out along the way as we figure them out. We are all on our own timelines. Some of us don’t discover that the things we like are not “normal” until someone slaps us in the face with that information. Maybe literally, who knows?

So what does that mean for the questing adult who has tripped over kink rather than sought it out? I have wondered lately how to explain what we do to someone without the foundation I assume people have when they seek us out. I suppose I would start this way:

Kink is many things to many people. It is not up to me to decide how an individual defines that for themself. It is not for me to judge provided the desired activity is consented to by and with a human of legal age who is capable of giving consent, and does not have the purpose of doing lasting harm, rather than fleeting hurt.

I would tell them kink can absolutely be sexual, but that it doesn’t have to be. Sure, threesomes are probably classified in there somewhere as kink, but when the umbrella encompasses so much variety and many different viewpoints, often times sex can take a backseat to pain, even if that pain has sexual connotations or elements to the people engaging in its practice.

I would tell them to find something that appeals to them, and then to seek out more information. Read books, browse fet, find local people and have conversations. Though it can be difficult, try not to find us scary or intimidating. We’re just normal people who happen to have bonded over a common interest. With some it’s video games or comic books, sports, or food. With us, we bond over kink. It’s easy enough to fit right in.

Above all, I would tell them to ask questions. It’s okay not to know everything. Our honesty is our strength. Everyone won’t know everything., and it is okay not to know this.

Most of all, I would suggest finding someone trustworthy to show them the rules. We see consent very differently from the whole of mainstream society. Sadly. It shouldn’t be different, yet the kink community’s views on consent are so much more empowering than the old rules I was raised with. Even with those differences, missteps are easy. Having a guide can make a huge difference.

Be open to new experience. Every day is a gift when we accept what is coming.

Erotica: The Laughter Of Kink

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I asked what you wanted, as I have many times before.  Usually, you will tell me you are unsure, and decide in the moment what will please you.  This time you had an answer.

“I want to hear you laugh.”

I was taken aback.  Have I been so depressed that you are unable to see something so simple?  Has it become so rare you feel the need to request it?  I am disheartened to think I have stopped giving you such a small thing.

I shake my head of my thoughts and look at you. “You want me to laugh?”

“Yes.  It makes me happy to hear you laugh.”

It has been a long time since I was at a loss for words.  I do not know where to even begin to make this happen.  If it were so easy, I probably would have done so already.  It will be a challenge Sir.  But I am sure I can accommodate your request.  

I am nervous Sir.  I have been so unsure of what you have planned.  I am so afraid of disappointing you.  This is the first time you have told me what you plan to do.  I always thought that doing so would take away the anticipation.  It did not.  

You have decided on tickle torture.

I am convinced of two things.  I am probably going to piss myself.  And I am probably going to die.  Ok, that is a little dramatic, even for me.  But I cannot help it.

I am standing before you, completely exposed.  I am trying to be patient.  Methodically, you are wrapping rope around me.  My arms are folded behind me, each hand clasping an opposite forearm.  My eyes are closed, and I am trying to relax my breathing.

Ropes have never been a limit.  We just do not use them.  I have discovered that my patience is minimal when it comes to this kind of prep work.

Your hands are soft as you move the rope around me.  Ever so slowly, it tightens into place.  Finally, I hear you chuckle.  I am curious at what has amused you.  My eyes pop open just in time to catch the camera flash.  

My head dropped down to hide my blush.  No matter how depraved we get, I never cease to feel so shy when your attention is focused on me.

“Head up sweetie.”

I complied.

Your hands are tugging at different spots.  I am sure you are making sure that nothing will damage me.

“How does that feel?”

“Good, Master.  Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me yet.  We are just getting started.”

There is that feeling again.  The nervous anticipation.  

Your fingers are running through my hair.  It is so long now.  You seem to have such a fascination with it.  I feel a tap on my shoulder, and I kneel.  As I settle, I feel a brush run through my hair.  I stay silent, enjoying the feeling.  You have never done this before.

I try to stamp down the little voice inside my head that tells me that you are dissatisfied with me for leaving my hair down.  I normally pull it back, but I thought you might enjoy the change.  Was I wrong, Sir?  Should I not have deviated from my normal routine?

I try not to let my inner thoughts ruin what you are doing.  I have to remember to breathe.  It does not matter the why.  It only matters what pleases you.

After several long moments, I feel you pull my hair back and wrap it into a ponytail.  Then I felt the telltale pull of braiding.  I have not had someone braid my hair in years.  It is odd how much I am enjoying this.

Of course, I am not blind to the fact that the nicer you are now, the rougher you will be later.

I am sure I make quite the picture, Sir.  The white ropes are stark as they crisscross over my skin.  My shoulder muscles are taunt from trying to free my hands.  My hair hangs in a braid down my back. And the beautiful cherry on top, is my jaw wrenched open by a red ball gag.  I can feel the amount of drool sliding down the sides of my mouth.

Do I glisten Sir? Are you enjoying the mess you have turned me into before we have even started?

You do not have to answer Sir.  I can see the glint in your eye. You are enjoying this.

At least you were kind enough to use the gag with holes through it. Maybe I will still be breathing at the end of this.

The first shove took me off guard.  I have been standing here, just waiting for instructions, and you have not said a word.  You just stared at me.  Do you know how unnerving that is or how much it makes me want to squirm?

But I know better.  I waited, as still as possible, for your instruction.

Suddenly, I felt your hand in the middle of my back and I was forcefully shoved.  My body hits the bed and it takes the wind out of me for a second.  I try to get my knees under me to adjust myself, but you are not letting up.

The game has begun.

I feel several rough smacks from your hand every time I try to shift up.  There is no warm-up today.  Finally, taking far longer than it should have for me to understand, I stop trying to get my knees under me.  All I am doing is giving you a target.

I start rotating my body so that I can flip onto my side.  You start tickling my feet.  I cannot help but laugh.  It sounds awfully breathy through the gag.  I hate being tickled.  Did I mention that Sir?  I despise it.  But above all, I despise anyone tickling my feet.  They are so sensitive that it often hurts.

My brain is fighting over the rules.  I am not supposed to move when you tickle me.  Because you enjoy watching me struggle.  Yet, my reflex is to kick at you.

I curl my knees up, trying to keep my feet still but move from your reach.  It is a fruitless endeavor.  You simply move closer.  My body is twisting, I have lost the battle to stay still.  I am laughing.  I turn to look at you.  Your face is filled with Sadistic glee.

In that second, I know exactly why I agreed to this.

I cannot take it anymore. My legs are kicking at you.  This just seems to amuse you more.  I roll onto my back so I can use my feet to push me up the bed, trying to escape.  You expected the move.  Your hands wrap around my ankles and tug.  My ass is at the edge of the bed.  You move over me and straddle my hips.  As you meet my eyes, your fingers move to my sides and start tickling me relentlessly.

I toss my head side to side.  Your thighs tighten on my hips.  I am pinned.  I will be at your mercy until you decide otherwise.

It hurts but I cannot stop laughing.  My brow is matted with sweat.  This is one hell of a workout.

I feel one of your hands move up my stomach and grab roughly at my boob.  Your fingers pinch my nipples tightly and you tug upward.  You are just holding it.  Every time I try to twist from the tickling.  You gave me a slight reprieve from the tickling but now both my nipples are under your sadistic hands.  

Your thumb and pointer fingers hold tight to my nipples.  You seem to enjoy pinching right where my piercings lay.  It hurts so much more, especially when you roll them until your nails are dig into the tender flesh.

You smirk down at me when I hiss in pain.  Without a word, you lean down and take my nipple between your teeth and tug harshly.  I should probably specify that the strangled noise you heard was, in fact, a gasp.  A gasp, I repeated, as you spent a few minutes alternating between each of my nipples.  

They are so tender Sir.  They will be for days.  But you know that.  You know my work clothes will press upon the tortured flesh and I will be distracted by the memories it conjures.

You let go suddenly and lean back.  Your body weight presses down on my thighs and my stomach heaves in exhaustion.  You are looking down at me.  Your eyes boring into mine.  My face is flush. I can feel it.  My jaw aches as I pant through the gag.  

I’ve never seen you so energetic during play.  You have a glow about you.  It makes me happy.

I can feel myself slipping Sir.  I can see the static starting to form around you.  The blood is rushing loudly through my ears, making it difficult to hear.  I am quickly sinking into subspace, Sir.  

I am positive you see it.

Your hand wraps in the front harness of ropes and pulls my upper body close to you.  My eyes feel blown open as I try to meet your eyes.  It is so difficult to make eye contact Sir.  I am losing focus.

You let go and I drop back to the bed.  My head bounces.  I am saddened by the loss of pressure.  

Suddenly, your hand is wrapped back in the ropes as you spin my body around.  I will never understand how you can move me as though I am weightless.  

My feet are on the wall and my legs are bent.  My head rests in the middle of the bed and I am staring up at the ceiling.  I laugh when you wrap my braid around your hands.  I understand now.

I needed a handle.  

I push against the wall, trying to alleviate the tugging on my head as I am pulled to the edge of the bed.  As my head comes to rest, hanging off the bed, I see you crouch down.  I feel you undoing the buckle of the gag.  Your fingers slide around my cheeks, towards my lips, and you gently pry the gag from between my teeth.  

The first thing I did was swallow.  I am sticky with sweat and saliva, but I unable to move to wipe it away.  As you stand, I move to lift my head, but you prevent it by stepping forward.  Your jeans press against my face.

I can smell your arousal Sir.  It excites me.

Like the good girl I am, I open wide and stick out my tongue.

Have I been good enough to get a reward Sir?  Will I get to taste you?

You stand there for a few minutes.  I feel restless. I rub my face against your jeans.  Please, Sir.  Please may I please you?

I keep still and quiet.  You do not like to feel rushed.  I am here for your pleasure, not the other way around.

Then I hear it.

Your zipper slides down and the button is tugged from its home.  Teasingly, you take your time pulling out your cock.  I have no choice but to wait patiently.  I am not in a position to initiate anything and you know it.

You put the tip to my lips.  I stick my tongue out and work my piercing around the head.  I push the tip of my tongue slightly against your slit, moving it up and down for a few strokes before I return to circling the head.  

I must have teased you a little too much.

Without warning, your length is down my throat, passed my gag reflex.  My throat is spasming around you as I gag.  I am struggling to breath.  My nose is buried in your balls and your scent is all around me, but I cannot draw breath.  

I start struggling.  My feet flatten on the bed and I lift my hips.  My lower half is twisting, trying to tell you I need to breathe.

You wait a few seconds more.

Then you pull back.  I draw breath just before you thrust in again.  Over and over, I struggle to breathe as you alternate your rhythm.  Sometimes you fuck my mouth without mercy.  Then you will bury yourself deep and wait until my body twists and turns in panic before pulling back.  

It starts to get fuzzy around here Sir.  I remember your hand wrapping around my throat as you push your length slowly back in.  You do not go far enough to trigger my gag reflex.  My chest is heaving, drawing small, short pockets of air around your cock.  

I feel as though I am suffocating but you always leave me enough room to draw breath.

When your hand leaves my neck, I feel you pull yourself from my mouth.  My eyes are struggling to stay open.  

As they slide closed, my body exhausted, I feel you finish on my face.  I can feel it across my forehead and my eyes.  There is even a bit sliding down my cheek.

I feel relaxed now Sir.  My breathing is slowing, and everything is quiet.

I feel your finger tap twice on my lips.  I open obediently.  You wipe the last of your cum across my tongue.

I must have missed you speaking.  It is rare you resort to hand signals.

It is so quiet.  

Where are you, Sir? 

My body is freezing now.  All the hairs are standing on end and I am shivering.

Your hands are like fire as they caress my skin.

I both love and hate this.  I want to curl into you Sir.  Yet, I have to wait as you remove the ropes.  I know you are being cautious, so I do not get burned, but I just want you to hold me.

Once free, my body just drops.  I do not even have the strength to even lift my head.

I jump slightly when I feel a warm cloth on my face.  You are cleaning me up.  

It saddens me to have my face cleaned but I appreciate you taking care of me, Sir.

Even with my eyes closed, I know you are talking to me.  I cannot hear you.  But that is normal.  

I hope my laughter has pleased you, Sir.

As soon as my senses dull, and I come back to you, I will be sure to thank you properly.

With three kisses to each boot and my forehead to the floor.

Erotica: Fire Fetish

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Standing at the edge of the road, admiring his work, Marok watched as the flame spread out across the rear of the house. Orange flames climbed up the back wall to consume the dry, unprotected wood walls. He sat on the grass, Brother resting behind him on the front lawn. Leaning back to use the horse as a pillow/bench, they watched the crops and the house burn. 

Not long into the watching, Marok slid a hand into his pants to stroke himself nice and slow. The house would take a long time to burn, giving him plenty of time to relish the event. When his pants were too much in the way, he opened the laces to enjoy the cool night air.

Rats and mice, skunks, opossums, spiders and centipedes fled in all directions except the fields of flame. Snakes slithered away as fast as they could. Marok could see their tiny life forces. A family of bats fled through a tiny hole the roof as the fire rose to the second floor.

Marok watched as flames engulfed the entire roof of the house, outlining its shape and reaching far into the sky. Windows blew out, their violence heard from his distance. The best part, when the extreme heat caused various reactions within. An oil keg exploded in the basement. Smaller pops of oil lamps exploded in various rooms. Stacks of firewood in each room went up, including the long cord of dried and drying wood along the side wall.

He gripped his cock tighter in his fist, stroking slow and long, mind completely fixated on and enraptured by the house as overwhelmed with flame as it could get. The warmth of the immense fire reached him. Not hot enough to burn skin or singe hair but enough to make him sweat in the cold night.

Flames lit the night as bright as the sun at noon, illuminating a radius of half a mile. Birds fled nearby trees. People in the distance came out to watch from the safety of their own houses. Townspeople gathered in their second floor windows to watch the fire. He felt their curiosity, their satisfaction at knowing whose land, whose house, was being destroyed.

The smell of burning grain, burning wood, burning meat of any food supplies inside the house or the attached cold larder. He knew there were no people or pets inside. They’d all escaped in the first minute. Buckets of water weren’t going to put out anything. They didn’t even try, were standing on the other side of the drive in front of the house, watching it.

Marok had always found the dancing flames of a fire highly erotic. Fire was a living thing. Consuming, breathing, leaving waste behind, even reproducing if the wind carried burning debris to another field or a forest. Fire was sexy as fuck, the only lover who possessed his heart.

He loosened his grip to reach his fingertips into his pubis mons, to the deepest root of his cock, and slid far out to pull his foreskin over the head. A grunting sigh of intense pleasure, a strong pulse in his hand, the surge of thrill tingling under his skin, causing the hair on his arms to raise and a slow chill to work its way over his shoulders to his scalp. He exhaled long and slow, calming himself to keep control. There was a lot of burn time left and he didn’t want to pop off prematurely.

Flames whirled all through the grain crop like a stage of naked slaves in a dark banquet hall. A row of flames danced atop the roofline of the house, reaching their naked arms into the sky, swooping their heads and hips to their own music. He kept himself slow, prolonging his pleasure as long as possible, wanting to time his finish with the pinnacle of the burn.

The warmth of his flesh in his hand, softness of skin, coarseness of hair around testicles as he reached with his other hand to grip his sack. He needed a shave. Veins underneath skin, felt by thumb and fingers. Familiar lumps and bumps along his stiff rod that he knew how to slip over and around to keep himself hard as long as he wanted without the concluding act.

Two hours into his attentive self-pleasuring, he heard the telltale creaking of the roof weakening. The structure was starting to collapse in on itself. Watching with wide open eyes, he stroked himself with increasing speed. As the peak of the roof caved in, he moved up onto his knees to bring himself to his explosive finish. His ejaculate shot out two feet in front of him, landing in the grass with series of plops and drops. He stripped himself time and again until he had nothing more to expel.

He shook his cock to throw off the last droplets and fell to his ass on the ground to lean more heavily against Brother.

“Fuck that was good,” he sighed, and crossed his ankles to take a nap.

Excerpt from Marok: Rogue Deliverer, to be released later in 2021.

Read his origin in Arlyn the Deliverer and continued adventure in First Queen of Unada.

——————

TylerRose. is known as Dame Tyler in the NYC public SM/Fetish scene. She is an award-winning author who has written three “lifestyle”, four cartoon, and twenty eight fiction books.

Read her books on her Amazon page — https://www.amazon.com/TylerRose./e/B00HCPLSP2

You can also find more of her OP/ED work in Fetlife: https://fetlife.com/users/305828

She enjoys crocheting and baking, and will no doubt die with a thesaurus open on her thigh.

Hourglasses, Toilet Brushes, and Other Kooky Ideas – Pervertables

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Gags, blindfolds, earmuffs, hoods, inversion tables, and even vacuum beds; we have devised a tons of ways to mess with the mind in play. Using fear and trust to create a delicious combination of confusion and adrenalin; anticipation and dread. I will use anything I can lay my hands on, manipulate, or change to keep a bottom guessing. Chief among them are pervertables.

A pervertable is anything designed for a non-kinky purpose, which you can use for kinky means. The possibilities are endless, and exciting!

A while back Nibbles and I were walking through a discount store called Gabe’s and saw these uncaged hour glasses. All different colors of sand and in several differing sizes. Now I am always on the hunt for pervertables, everywhere. It is like a fetish all its own. So when I saw those hour glasses my first thought was how I could use one in a scene, not about what a cool conversation piece it could be. Thinking about it for a moment, the seeds of a scene started budding in my head.

A horse sweat scraper at Tractor Supply; a knotted rope toy at PetCo, Rural King had a great lunge whip; Shoknife through a tactical training supply company; and the list goes on. Even ornamental Grass at the Dollar Store is not safe from being violated by the thoughts in my head. Whatever I can pull out and make a bottom go, “damn….what the fuck are you going to do with that?!?!?” is something I am going to be interested in.

Messing with Nibbles – A Pervertable in Action

Nibbles has always challenged me to come up with something new and different. She can get bored quickly. Enter the hourglass.

Setting the mood that night by pulling out some of her favorites; a blindfold, ball gag, floggers, crop, and steel hand irons I could see her anticipation building as each piece was laid out. Normally, I have her lay out toys out and ready the space. This night though, doing it myself was part of the setup. Each taken from the closet or the trunk. Laid carefully in front of her, just so I could pull out the hourglass last. Carefully removing it from the drawer it was secreted in I set it on the dresser without a word.

The look on her face was what I thought it would be, confusion. “Sir??? What’s that for?”

To say I felt a bit of glee at the question would be an understatement. I almost giggled like a schoolgirl. Luckily, her eyes were on the hourglass instead, allowing me a moment to regain my composure. I smiled at her and began explaining the goal for the night. Outlast the hourglass. Simple right? All she had to do was stick with 90 minutes of medium impact mixed with tickling, teasing, orgasm denial, scratching, biting, and whatever else I could dream up. Such a trusting soul.

With her on her hands and knees on the bed and laying over a wedge, I started the hourglass, put her blindfold on……… then tipped the hourglass on to its side. Time for her stopped without her knowing it. Warmup, a bit of play, just enough to get her revved up. 20 minutes later I set the hourglass back up quietly, and “accidently” moved her blindfold when I lifted her chin to kiss her. Nibble’s eyes locked immediately on the glass. The effect was exactly what I had hoped for. Utter disbelief.

Wash, rinse, repeat. She pushed the boundaries of her endurance that night. She was determined not to fail. The result was one of the most amazing scenes we had in quite a while. Both of us were completely wrung out nearly five hours later. To her, it had only been 90 minutes.

Oddities Can Be as Devious as a Single-Tail: I do not do much of the shopping for our home. Nibbles takes care of that for the most part. Once in a while, I venture out to give her a break, which she dreads since I tend to return with something in addition to groceries and household needs. On one such occasion, walking down the cleaning aisle in Wal-Mart a rack of toilet brushes caught my eye and I grabbed one of the horseshoe shaped ones.

Briefly testing it out on my forearm by scraping the stiff bristles against my skin and then snapping it sharply against the inside of my arm a good 20 times to see what it could do. Winner winner chicken dinner! Very small, very red spots began to show in short order. And it stung like fuck! Looked like it would be great for abrasion play and maybe some impact.

She laughed at it when I brought it home. Not so much the next day. Now it is one of her go to stories she tells her friends about pervertables I have purchased.

You Are Only Limited by Your Imagination

A pervertable can be anything you use to manipulate the scene, not just an implement you use on your bottom. The hourglass being one example. Stripped down springs from an old mattress to create an electrobed; wood pallets to create a bondage wall; strobe lights to create visual sensory hyperstimulation; and even a fog machine to create a sense of envelopment…… really the only limits on what you could possibly use, are the ones you put on yourself.

Breaking the bank on very cool high-end toys and gadgets is not something you have to do when setting up your kit. I have found items in everywhere from Dollar Tree (everything is a dollar) to boutique craft stores. Sure, I have plenty of well-made floggers, paddles, slappers, canes, tawses, whips, restraints, Wartenberg Wheels, and other gizmos. But none of them quite get the first-time reaction a well thought out pervertible gets. Half the fun, at least for me, is keeping a bottom guessing about what could be coming next.

If you would rather stick to the standards, by all means do so. But if you are looking to get more adventurous in your toy selections, start thinking outside the box. Take your partner out with you on a pervertible gathering adventure and see what you can find!

Some Things to Keep in Mind When Looking for and Buying Pervertables

As in anything kink, safety is always a concern. We do not want our toys disintegrating in the middle of play and inadvertently causing injury. Causing marks or issues we are not prepared or planned for. Or causing a trust issue to develop, because we as tops did not take the time to really think things through. Considers some of the following when looking at potential pervertables:

–          Avoid anything that can break or shatter easily, even if you are just going to use it for sensation play. If you lay it down for a minute on the bed (or wherever) and then put your knee on it or someone rolls on it, you could be in for a rude awakening, and possibly a visit to the ER.

–          If you can afford to, buy one to beat the hell out of first. Punish it to make sure it will not fall apart on you when you least expect it. You can always buy another one if you think it will work out. Not to mention, having your new toy break during play can be a real bummer.

–          Test the item our on yourself first. Not everything is going to feel or work how you think it will. You may need to change how you think you will be using it, or not use it at all.

–          Be quick to recognize something may be a bad idea. We all have good idea fairies riding on our shoulders. Sometimes they are full of bad advice. Your bottom’s safety and the dynamic are more important than your pride and the $20.00 you spent.

–          Even though you tested the item on yourself, go slow the first few times you use it. Test the waters to make sure it is working how you thought. Be quick to adjust if it does not.

–          Remember, you are going to have to clean it after play (and initially sanitize it). Avoid items which are difficult to clean well.

Be Willing to Laugh –  A Lot

Like everything else, this road of pervertables will be littered with failures. Great! That is how we learn. Expect the unexpected and realize, just because something does not work out how you thought it might, it is not a reflection on either of you. Laugh it off. No really….laugh it off. Nothing repairs a blown moment like refusing to take yourself too seriously.

Using normal implements can be difficult enough to master. Devising and using something completely out of the box is just asking for the need of a good giggle.

Have Fun 🙂

Playing with pervertables can be a great time for all, help us be more creative, keep the surprise in play, and can even be a great scavenger hunt when you are out and about. From searching the local flea market to turning an item in to a finished product and using it, I have a great time through the whole process. Even teasing Nibbles when we are out at the market by pulling something weird of the shelf, showing it to her with a wry smile and getting a, “hell NO!” in response is fun in and of itself.

Be creative and open to possibilities, what you might find at Lowes or even a garage sale can be surprising. You never know where you might find the next favored gem for you toy chest.

TAC is a lifestyle writer, dominant, and mentor who contributes to several online educational groups such as the BDSM Alternative Lifestyle Discussion and Education; Information Exchange for Dom/mes, Masters, and Mistresses; and the Virtual Munch. His writing includes information on self-improvement, growth, dominance, trauma, power dynamics and power exchange, and safety. His goal is to continue giving back to a community of friends who have supported him for nearly three decades. He can be found on Fetlife at TAC_1.

The Joy Of Anal

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We just completed a month of kinky fun. “Anal April” was our challenge to only have anal sex for a  month. In truth, it was a bit more than that. My slut was actually in “pussy chastity”. Not an actual  chastity device mind you, but an imposed mental chastity. As my obedient slut, she would adhere to “no  touching except to clean yourself” for the month of April. At first, we agreed on the idea as a dare. I  dared her and she said, “bring it on”. Now, to give you context, you must understand that as kinksters,  we have a sex forward and kink forward dynamic and we have kinky sexual scenes just about every day.  So, my slut has the experience of being my daily and well-used “3-hole whore”. She is accustomed to  being used hard every day where she experiences multiple vaginal and anal orgasms.  

When I first met my now collared slut, she told me that she was not fond of anal sex. She had good  reason. She shared that during her marriage, her ex-husband has abused her ass. He had done things  like forcefully using oversized dildos on her without lube – a real no-no – resulting in dangerous anal  tearing that left her in pain and legitimately weary of repeating the error. She was left feeling that in the  world of anal sex, it was “better to give than receive”.  

Before she put herself forward to be claimed by me, I had made it clear to her that intention was for her  to be my personal “3-hole slut”, and I also shared that because “I don’t break my toys”, I would take my  time to train her to be used as an ass-whore so that she would want me to fuck her ass (I wrote about  training here once before.) Knowing this, with eyes wide open, she made the choice to submit and to  kneel for me with a view to living in a 24/7 dynamic in a Total Power Exchange (TPE) as my 3-hole slut.  

After she was claimed, her anal training began in earnest. Training her to be a daily use ass whore  required that she be fully enrolled. To help achieve this, I shared with her that what I was committed to  was that in the end, she would authentically love anal sex and enjoy it as a normal part of our sexual  dynamic. She is an amazing and committed slut and she understood that in our 24/7 TPE, her  responsibility was to serve, so with those thoughts in mind, she registered into be trained as my ass  whore. Remember kinksters, in kink, consent is everything. She was being trained to have her ass lit up  with a flogger and fucked to completion.  

She first learned to prepare herself for anal by defecating before sex and using an enema to clean  herself further. Because I desire my slut to be my ass-to-mouth whore, she needed to be sure she was  thoroughly cleaned. She would complete the pre-anal sex prep by squirting a dollop of lube into her ass  so she could confidently approach anal sex knowing that she was clean and lubed and that there would  be no “visitors”. A note here that “dirty” anal sex is potentially dangerous as well as messy, and since  neither she nor I are into scat, we prefer not to engage in “dirty anal”. Also, I like to eat her ass, so I  want her clean too. So, with that in mind, thorough preparation before play is a must.  

Second, there is the issue of lubrication. It is important to remember that the anus makes no lube at all.  None. So, you must use lube in order to have safe and fun anal sex. Rectal tissue tearing is dangerous  and painful and gets in the way of regular anal sex. For this reason, there are three key words associated with anal sex that every kinkster must know. LUBE, LUBE, & LUBE! Both during training and since, I use  lot of lube every time we have anal sex, and I still make sure to never force my way into her ass. This is  the third principle of training her. I first surf her ass with my hard cock, then I put the head of my  swollen thick cock against her anus and allow her to take me in at her pace and with the force that she  generates. This allows her to control and manage the process of relaxing and getting used to my size (I  have a very thick cock, so this is necessary, and it is a good method to use no matter your girth).  Whenever we have anal sex, I use lots of lube, even more lube than one might think necessary. In anal,  there can never be too much lube. Let me say that again. Use as much lube as you can to make sure that  you are both having fun. There is nothing quite like fun anal sex. Its really, really hot!  

The 4th principle I applied while training her is that I require her to wear a butt plug every day, all day,  whenever she is out of the house. It is a way for her to keep me “close to her”, and it has the dual  benefit of training her ass to be accustomed to penetration. She is also required to send me a picture of  her plugged and marked ass every morning, which helps to codify our dynamic. As time passed, we  gradually increased the size of the butt plug to make sure that she was getting used to accepting bigger items in her ass.  

I also made it a habit to use her ass with every scene so that she was rewarded for preparing her ass for  me to use. On a gradient she began to experience anal pleasure and then anal orgasms when I fucked  her ass. It seems that the combination of my size along with the angles that we explore while engaging  in anal sex during our play causes me to hit her G-spot when I am fucking her ass, which results in anal  sex making her dripping wet and she even has squirting orgasms with ass sex.  

Eating her ass is the way she finally got related to her ass as a sexual organ. Keep in mind that the  thousands of nerve endings around the ass are related to the Pudendal Nerve, which is the same nerve  that innervates the clitoris and the penis. Interestingly and somewhat remarkably, she now actually  climaxes when I eat her ass. It’s a very different climax to a clitoral climax to be sure, but she definitely  climaxes with earth shattering orgasms with anilingus. Plus, it’s a scene that is hot as hell! I am on my  knees stroking my throbbing cock while she is cumming as I eat her red-hot ass. HOT!  

For going on 3 years now, she has had almost daily use as a 3-hole-whore. She is my ass-to-mouth slut  and she regularly gets her ass eaten, flogged and fucked. Its perfection and its hot as hell.  

Imagine the scene where she has had her pussy fucked and eaten to multiple orgasms, where she has  had repeated uses of her mouth and ass, where I have eaten her ass which has been flogged bright red  and where the scene ultimately ends in a primal screaming simultaneous orgasm as I pump my seed into  her ass. Its that really hot, and its our scene every single day.  

Anal sex is a big part of our sexual self-expression. It is naughty and dirty and sexy and erotic and it is as  exotic as hell. We love it. 

Our scenes definitely take us to a place where we are deeply in our primal state. Limbic system  creatures. Having ass play create that experience for us has been a most unexpected outcome.  

To be fair, she does not have the only butthole in the room when we fuck. I have enjoyed her exploring  my ass as part of our play too. This occurs in two ways for us. The first is that I love when she eats my  ass. So, for her to be safe from acquiring a disease by doing this, I also prep before sex. I make sure to  defecate and to thoroughly clean myself with a washcloth before we play. When her tongue is on or in  my ass and she is pulling hard on my balls and stroking my cock, there is so much sensory input that I am  a literally quivering mess. She can easily bring me to orgasm this way. The other way she uses my ass is  to massage my prostate when my cock is down her throat. Again, she uses lube, and she keeps a  particular nail trimmed. She could use a finger condom if she wished, but the truth is that the amount of  finger she inserts to get onto my prostate is only and inch or so, so she is unlikely to get feces on her  finger even if I had not voided. As she massages my prostate, she describes it as if she is “feeling like a  walnut that is a bit squishy”, and when she brings me to climax this way, the stimulus makes me cum so  hard and with such volume that I tend to drown her in cum.  

The third way we could play, is for her to peg me. Put on a strap-on and fuck my ass. It’s not something  we have done yet, and being pegged does not make a person gay as everyone knows, but for us, it’s an  item on the menu for another day. When the time comes, I will do the same sort of things she does to  prepare to make sure I don’t suffer an injury and tear my rectal tissue in a dangerous way. And she will  

use the same sort of strategies I used to get her ready for anal to get me ready for anal. And she will use  lube. LOTS of lube.  

There are those folks in the gay community especially, but not exclusively, who are into size play. The  idea that you can really stretch the rectum and insert bigger and bigger items into the ass, from dildos to  fists is the point of the play. To my way of thinking, this way of playing is an extremely dangerous  behavior and great care is needed to ensure that one does not tear the tissue or cause permanent  damage. Rectal fissures can indeed be deadly. Engaging in anal size-play, one needs to be thoughtful and  careful to safely enjoy putting huge items in your partner’s ass.  

Back to Anal April. We got a lot out of our month of anal-only sex. And I learned a lot about my slut and  myself. It became clear to me how much of a masochist she is, now much of an ass whore she is, how  loving she is, how horny she is, and how committed to me she is. You can read about the experience in  my fetlife account where I kept a daily diary of the experience. Suffice it to say that what I got out of the  experience most of all is the awareness that I am even more of an anal whore than she is. I am addicted  to her ass and to have her use my ass. One of the best parts of Anal April was that the sex that followed  in May, our after Anal April sex, is truly mind blowing because as we incorporated using her pussy into  our scene, she had the experience of being fully present to a whole new context for her ass as a sexual organ.  

For this reason, putting all other reasons aside, I encourage you to explore anal sex based on this one  idea alone. As a man, your sex organs are your cock, your balls and your ass/prostate. As a woman you have your pussy (including your clit and G-spot), your tits and your ass. For both men and women, your ass represents one third of your sex organs. A third!  

Are you really prepared to surrender one third of your sexual satisfaction to morality?  Happy anal.  

P.S. Use lube. LOTS of lube. 

SafferMaster and Lady Petra offer Kink Relationship Coaching with online, group, and personal coaching  options.  

You can access the coaching services offered by Lady Petra Playground by reaching out for an initial  conversation- LadyPetraPlaground@gmail.com  

The Patreon is also a way to sign up: https://www.patreon.com/LadyPetrasPlayground  Lady Petra and SafferMaster also produce the Kinky cocktail Hour podcast available on all podcast platforms 

This week in kink: May 24, 2021

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Are there any kinks or fetishes or sexual acts that should be and/or are off limits?

Is consent by all parties the only factor redgarding ethical play?

To further answer these questions, check out this riveting article from refinery29!

Don’t miss Hajime Kinoko’s amazing Shibari installation!

Click below to read more from Cision!

Mistress Velvet, the amazing Domme that tried her best to spread the word of black feminism to her subs, passed recently.

Click below to find out more

Have some kinky news to share? Tell us about any upcoming BDSM events, new products, dungeon openings / closings, kink in mainstream media, and anything else you think kinky folks might be interested to hear about. Send your tips through to kinkweekly@gmail.com, and it might just end up on next week’s “This Week in Kink.”