• Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
  • Home
  • About
  • New to kink?
    • Articles for beginners
  • Contribute
  • BDSM Buying Guide

Kink Weekly

BDSM articles ideas bondage erotica resource

Home » What Is Aftercare?

What Is Aftercare?

October 13, 2021 By Christmas Bunny 2 Comments

poly family, ethical non-monogamy
via stock.adobe.com

As more and more new people join the Kink Community on the edges and middle of the pandemic, the more I realize how little knowledge some are stepping into this world with.  I recently wrote about pain processing in kink.  Today, I want to briefly discuss the aftermath of a scene.

When we say the word scene, generally we are talking about an agreed-upon period of time between two or more people, wherein they perform some negotiated kink experience.  It may be impact, it may be needles, or humiliation, or any one of a number of kinks that people share.

As I discussed in my post on pain, the body of the receiver in this event is likely experiencing some chemical side effects, brought to them courtesy of their brain.  Adrenaline and endorphins are a potent cocktail.  When the activities we engage in trigger those chemical responses, it can be a heady experience.  Often, the person who has experienced them will be slightly euphoric or “spacey” afterwards.  Some people refer to “subspace,” but I prefer more scientific explanations of what is happening.

Because that can be a sensation that feels different for different people, some find it disorienting.  Others feel “loopy” or giggly.  Some will need to come out of that headspace gradually, while others prefer a more abrupt return to reality.  The period of time after the scene has ended is often called aftercare.

Aftercare looks different based on who you ask.  Some people want a blanket and cuddles, some want a stuffie and chocolate.   I want a high five and to be told I was a good girl.  Some take an hour to gradually ease out of that headspace, others want to giggle away in a group of friends.  In some cases, people may prefer that aftercare be administered by someone they didn’t scene with, such as a friend or relationship partner.  It is important to include negotiations for the kind of aftercare you need when you are discussing a scene with a potential partner.

If you don’t know what you need for aftercare because you are newer to this, it may be a part of your journey which requires experimentation.  Ask yourself following a scene what would bring you comfort.  Prepare for many scenarios, such as bringing a favorite comfortable item of clothing to change into, an emotional attachment object, a protein bar, or a sugary snack you enjoy in order to give yourself options when the time comes.

If you are a more experienced kinkster and know that you’ll be having a scene with less experienced players, perhaps consider packing an emergency aftercare bag with some basics in it, in case it is something they aren’t familiar with, or don’t know yet what they need.  It isn’t a terrible idea to have things on hand that help others.  That’s part of why I always carry a mini first aid kit with me to the dungeon, despite it having three available.  My band-aids are cuter.

Please remember, even though there are tops who will hand you off to someone else for aftercare because it isn’t their thing, the important part is finding healthy ways to transition yourself back to life as the chemicals leave the body – and keep these things in mind for the possible drop following after the chemicals break down even further.   What you need is what you need during this process.

Knowledge is power, and by understanding what we need on our kink journeys, we give ourselves an amazing gift.

You may also be interested in:

  • The Importance Of Aftercare
    The Importance Of Aftercare
  • Video: Aftercare
    Video: Aftercare
  • The Aftercare Lie
    The Aftercare Lie

Share this:

  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • Reddit
  • Email

Tagged With: aftercare, bdsm, bdsm play, bdsm relationship, bdsm scene, dominant, fetish, impact play, kink, power exchange, self-care, submissive

Like Kink Weekly? Support us on Patreon!

Become a Patron!

Help keep us online & get epic good karma (and no ads)
Already a supporter? We love you! Visit here to enable ad-free browsing.

Sale – today only

Get yourself a real blindfold

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. latexcutie says

    October 17, 2021 at 6:31 pm

    what a great topic

    Reply
  2. caracoughs says

    October 17, 2021 at 6:31 pm

    love love love more please!!!!

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Primary Sidebar

Don’t miss out!

Get an email each week when new editions are online
We won't spam you, and you can
easily unsubscribe at any time

Sale – today only

Bondage kinks coffee mug

Put a smile on your face each morning

Support Kink Weekly on Patreon!

Become a Patron!

Help keep us online and get
epic good karma (and no ads)

Already a supporter? We love you! Visit here to enable ad-free browsing.

Get

A fun little flogger with just the right amount of zing

Contribute

Want to feature your writing or photography on Kink Weekly? Are you an BDSM/sex expert or professional, and interested in being quoted in an article? Contact us

Archives

sexy blonde Domme with male submissive in straitjacket

Simple Mummification Fun!

By PirateStan Leave a Comment

Learn helpful mummification techniques in this week’s edition!

shibari male submissive bound

Why Excellent Submission Can Be Remarkably Illusive

By Ms. RikaLeave a Comment

Dive deep into submission with Ms. Rika in this week’s edition!

Footer

18 U.S.C. 2257 record keeping compliance statement
Always play
Safe Sane and Consensual

Copyright © 2023 · News Pro On Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in