Illustration by Dirk Hooper I’ve read about a million articles (only a slight exaggeration) on aftercare for the bottom or the submissive, but I’d like to propose a little aftercare for the Dominant or the Top too. Before I get started, this article in no way is meant to minimize the incredible importance of providing aftercare for the submissive. For a Dominant, … [Read more...]
Millennials and Aftercare
August 7, 2017 By 8 Comments
Here is a question I received recently: “I am a Millennial and have been playing publicly with a Dom of roughly the same age for the last few months. After a serious session, he just packs his gear and waits for me to get ready. I feel really neglected but I am afraid to ask him to give me aftercare. What should I do? What should I expect from him? Am I topping from the … [Read more...]
One bottom’s Trigger is Another’s Therapy
August 29, 2016 By 1 Comment
BDSM play is done for many reasons from the bottom side of the slash. Catharsis, sexual fulfillment, a natural high, or plain old fun. Perhaps as a way to push personal limits and boundaries. Another reason people play is because it can be therapeutic. Either consciously or sub-consciously. Someone might use play in general (as opposed to a specific kind of play) to help … [Read more...]
BDSM Aftercare
October 19, 2015 By 6 Comments
What is aftercare? What does it entail? Why do people need/want it? Aftercare, in its simplest definition, is something that takes place in the time following a scene. In my opinion, it's best to think of aftercare as a part of a scene - the last chapter of the story, so to speak. First, let's talk about what aftercare may look like. It is different for different … [Read more...]
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