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Taking Impact Beyond 101

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One of the photographs of the human body with colors blocked out all over it has been making the rounds among my local community again.  It suggests that it can specify safe zones for impact.

While a couple of assumptions must be made to make those charts accurate, such as assuming first a lightweight flogger is the only impact implement being used, as well as assuming every body responds the same way to that stimuli, I get that all of the people who have made them probably have the noble intentions of educating newcomers.  Unfortunately for their good intentions, I strongly disagree with the concept of a chart on principle.

For starters, let’s just talk about a body part I universally saw as “green,” or totally safe for impact, on the many charts Google fetched me:  the forearm.  Sure, it’s a “green” zone if we’re talking lightweight flogger, but what if we up the weight of that flogger to around four pounds and make it out of bullhide?  Are you still as comfortable calling that a definite “green” zone?  What if we stop assuming floggers at all and swap out for a bat?  After all, those charts just specify impact safe zones, not the tool being used.  We still good to go for an impact session with a bat on a forearm?

Immediately, we all see the weaknesses of trying to set a universal standard of what is okay for a given implement without taking the time to learn it specifically.  Instead of trying to create a chart for everything, I’d much rather see us treat impact with the seriousness it deserves, as it can absolutely be edge play.

Start with questions.

What are the characteristics of my particular tool?  Does it have heft or is it light?  Is it rigid or flexible?  A very lightweight and flexible tool, such as a small flogger, is unlikely to be problematic for use as you explore a body with it.  Moving up from the buttocks and thighs, other than kidneys and face, there aren’t many places that will be off limits, particularly when using it lightly.  In contrast, even a small rigid tool, such as a mallet-type implement, could be dangerous if used on the spinal column, over the shoulder blades, or on other areas where bones connect or are closer to the surface:  knees, elbows, shoulder blades, even hipbones.  

If it wraps a torso, leg, or other body part, will it speed up and create a secondary impact point of greater intensity? Anything with flex has the potential to create a “wrapping” effect as it turns a corner around the body.  The speed of the implement is greatly impacted by that motion.  Some people stand on a principle that one should never wrap when using such implements.  Other Sadists I know use that technique to make sure they get some chest or breast hits in even if working from behind.  It is definitely a more advanced skill, and one that should be practiced on a pillow or other target prior to attempting it on a partner.

Is my tool going to spread the impact over a larger area, or will it be concentrated on a focused point?  Concentrated impact is often going to result in stingy sensation.  Whips, canes, and dragon tails are excellent examples of those types of implements.  In contrast, a large padded bat is going to spread out that force.  The larger the area of impact is, the less precision there can truly be.  You are going to hit across a larger area simply due to the nature of the object.  If you are impacting a spot the size of a dime, you’re going to have an easier time making sure you focus on specific spots.  Make sure to evaluate each one for its potential to damage if used on the ass, the thighs, or the upper shoulders individually.  Two similar bats can be constructed differently, create different impact, and thus need different considerations during use.

There is no “one way fits all” in kink.  Impact is no different than the larger framework.  We have to find tools which work for us, and in doing so, we have to make analytical decisions about what will be safe to attempt when using those tools.  Please discuss all risks with your partners prior to beginning, and know that mistakes can happen regardless of being informed about risk.  Please communicate and be conscious of limits with each person you may try impact with. Safety is imperative.

What Is Aftercare?

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As more and more new people join the Kink Community on the edges and middle of the pandemic, the more I realize how little knowledge some are stepping into this world with.  I recently wrote about pain processing in kink.  Today, I want to briefly discuss the aftermath of a scene.

When we say the word scene, generally we are talking about an agreed-upon period of time between two or more people, wherein they perform some negotiated kink experience.  It may be impact, it may be needles, or humiliation, or any one of a number of kinks that people share.

As I discussed in my post on pain, the body of the receiver in this event is likely experiencing some chemical side effects, brought to them courtesy of their brain.  Adrenaline and endorphins are a potent cocktail.  When the activities we engage in trigger those chemical responses, it can be a heady experience.  Often, the person who has experienced them will be slightly euphoric or “spacey” afterwards.  Some people refer to “subspace,” but I prefer more scientific explanations of what is happening.

Because that can be a sensation that feels different for different people, some find it disorienting.  Others feel “loopy” or giggly.  Some will need to come out of that headspace gradually, while others prefer a more abrupt return to reality.  The period of time after the scene has ended is often called aftercare.

Aftercare looks different based on who you ask.  Some people want a blanket and cuddles, some want a stuffie and chocolate.   I want a high five and to be told I was a good girl.  Some take an hour to gradually ease out of that headspace, others want to giggle away in a group of friends.  In some cases, people may prefer that aftercare be administered by someone they didn’t scene with, such as a friend or relationship partner.  It is important to include negotiations for the kind of aftercare you need when you are discussing a scene with a potential partner.

If you don’t know what you need for aftercare because you are newer to this, it may be a part of your journey which requires experimentation.  Ask yourself following a scene what would bring you comfort.  Prepare for many scenarios, such as bringing a favorite comfortable item of clothing to change into, an emotional attachment object, a protein bar, or a sugary snack you enjoy in order to give yourself options when the time comes.

If you are a more experienced kinkster and know that you’ll be having a scene with less experienced players, perhaps consider packing an emergency aftercare bag with some basics in it, in case it is something they aren’t familiar with, or don’t know yet what they need.  It isn’t a terrible idea to have things on hand that help others.  That’s part of why I always carry a mini first aid kit with me to the dungeon, despite it having three available.  My band-aids are cuter.

Please remember, even though there are tops who will hand you off to someone else for aftercare because it isn’t their thing, the important part is finding healthy ways to transition yourself back to life as the chemicals leave the body – and keep these things in mind for the possible drop following after the chemicals break down even further.   What you need is what you need during this process.

Knowledge is power, and by understanding what we need on our kink journeys, we give ourselves an amazing gift.

Pain Processing In Kink

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As some of you who follow me on Fet may have noticed, I recently added two rib tattoos to the markings Santa has gifted me.

They really fucking hurt, by the way.

Interestingly enough, through my conversations with the tattoo artist and subsequent research on tattooing, I learned a lot about my own pain management that was new information.  While I already knew some of this, learning the rest has been a great stepping stone to help me build a more effective pain management routine for days when Santa and I have heavy impact planned.

Some know this one already because I’ve mentioned it or because they have experienced it:  pain can be more intense during certain portions of the menstrual cycle.  For many it is during the actual menstruation while for others it is during ovulation.  Those hormonal changes can make pain less easily tolerated.  For those who may be unaware of this fluxuation, it can be a surprise when they suddenly have difficulty with an experience, not realizing the hormonal factor can be a huge variance.

Sleep matters.  There are times an extended impact session (or other painful experience) can be about relaxing and focusing on an area of the body that is not experiencing pain.  Those techniques are easier to employ when well rested.  As for the focus one, the best way I know to describe it is an almost meditative focus on a comfortable body part.  I will rub my two largest toes together on the foot with the permanent toe ring.  It is a unique sensation and it can help to stop focusing on the part of my body that is hurting.

Stay hydrated.  Hydrated skin tends to be more resilient, and isn’t as easily irritated.  Things like needles or other tools can create redness and skin irritation, and hydrated skin will generally be able to tolerare those things for longer.

Eat a good meal.  I have been guilty of forgetting to eat prior to a scene, and I know some people who don’t eat anything hearty beforehand because they are concerned about appearing bloated or full.  It turns out that not eating is terrible for pain tolerance.  We get endorphin kicks and adrenaline rushes when we dance with pain. Those chemicals use sugars in the blood as fuel.  Without having a reserve, such as carbs or even eating fruit before a scene, the resulting body response can be feeling shaky or weak after handling pain, and subsequent pain will just fucking hurt, because the adrenaline has run out of food to eat.  That will definitely cut a scene short.

Avoid alcohol.  While, sure, there are impaired consent issues here, from a purely practical standpoint, alcohol can increase the body’s sensitivity to pain.  It can also dampen mental acuity and make it more difficult to process the sensations being experienced without becoming overwhelmed or upset.

Use calming breathing techniques or breathing for meditation.  Women have used breathing in childbirth to withstand pain, and similar techniques can help in kink experiences.

Relax, for goodness’ sake.   How many times have we heard that tensing a muscle makes pain more intense?  Work on isolation techniques such as the ones practiced in yoga.  These can be excellent for helping stay in tune with one’s body and remind it to relax.

My routine has changed since I’ve learned all of this.  Obviously, there are things I can’t change, such as my menstrual cycle.  What I can do is choose whether or not to do impact during that time, or choose implements I know I can handle even then.

When I get up the morning we have plans, I eat cereal.  I make sure to have a snack in the afternoon, and eat steak or other protein before we leave the house.   I also pack an apple or some fruit to eat before our scene, to give me that extra bit of sugar for my body to eat up with endorphins.  I also carry protein bars for a quick pick-me-up.  I drink water all day, once we arrive, and afterwards, as well.  I find that by using this routine, I don’t tend to crash afterwards or even really experience much in the way of drop.

Obviously, everyone is different in the way they handle pain.  The thing that doesn’t change is the chemistry behind how our bodies work.  The more we understand about ourselves, the better we can be at taking care of our bodies.  The better care we take of them, the longer we will be able to participate in the kink activities we enjoy. 

Bastinado or Caning The Soles of The Feet

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bas·ti·na·do  

/ˌbastəˈnādō,ˌbastəˈnädō/  

HISTORICAL  

noun  

a form of punishment or torture that involves caning the soles of someone’s feet. 

verb  

punish or torture (someone) by caning the soles of the feet.  

“the prisoners were bastinadoed frequently in his presence”  

The German term is Bastonade, deriving from the Italian noun bastonata (stroke with the use of a stick).  In former times it was also referred to as Sohlenstreich (corr. striking the soles). The Chinese term is dǎ  jiǎoxīn (打脚心 / 打腳心).  

The point is that Bastinado has been practices as a form of punishment for a very long time. In kink, on the other hand, as separate from a hard caning by a Dominant for the reason of punishment, Bastinado  can be thought of as a day for the feet to go to the spa. A good place to start with the feet are the  acupressure charts that illustrate the way the sole of foot relates to the rest of the body’s organs. Keep in mind as you work on feet that there is a variance between left and right foot and there is also a  variance between people. With that in mind, viewing more than one chart is a good idea so that you are familiar with the variances.  

Another idea is to familiarize yourself with foot anatomy. Not necessarily to the degree that you can talk  anatomy with an expert, but to be aware of the bones of the foot and how thick or thin they are and  also so that you understand at least in a limited way, what the musculature of the foot looks like.  

So how does one approach a Bastinado scene with one’s submissive/bottom to have them drooling with pleasure?  

First create the ambiance. Dark room, soft instrumental music, a comfortable table, and a range of tools.  

It’s nice to begin with your new knowledge of foot anatomy, a foot massage with a light oil that they are  not allergic to is a great way to begin. Another way to warm the foot up is to do a wax scene with the  feet, but that is not necessary, only nice.  

The thing to keep in mind is that compared to the muscle mass in the arm, the muscle mass in the foot is  minute. The bones are little and it’s important to mitigate against the possibility of causing serious  injury. This is not a torture or even meant to be a punishment. Bastinado is a way to “pay back” the  submissive with a day at the foot spa. It’s good advice to do a butt spanking first to warm up the “root  chakra” before going on to the feet. When you do transition to the feet, make sure to use a thick thuddy  short cane at first to warm up to foot evenly.  

It’s a very good idea for Bastinado to use a shortened cane, which is much easier to control. Work the strokes up and down the foot to warm the sole of the foot evenly.  

Caning the foot is not the sort of stroke you use to mark a bottom. It’s a foreshortened swing with a  shortened cane, the stroke should be no more than an inch or two at most to begin with. To manage  this, it’s best to use a short cane (shorty) with very small partial strokes at first. One way to test how hard you can strike the foot is for the Dominant to first use the cane on his or her own foot first to see  both where and how hard to strike the foot in a manner that enhances the experience. It’s also not a  bad idea to compare what you are feeling to the reflexology charts as you do so. Then have the bottom  do the same and let them tell you how hard to hit. Do this with a shorty. A short cane generates less  force than a longer cane, especially with partial strokes. Even so, remember that your foot is not the  bottom’s foot. My feet are thick and meaty, my bottom’s feet are thin and boney, so I have to think  about her foot with the reality of the difference between her foot and mine, in mind. Every foot is different.  

As with all kinks, especially as you get started with Bastinado, it’s a very good idea for the bottom to  turn the volume up on their thoughts. The top cannot guess what the bottom is feeling and there needs  to be a very useful way to share the experience out loud. One way is for the bottom to share from the  out of 1-10 scale as in: “1, 2 or 3” is light and easily tolerated, “4, 5 and 6” is just right and “7” is too  much and “8, 9 and 10” are all out of bounds. The top should listen to the number the bottom is sharing  so that they can match the intensity of the stroke to the tolerance.  

It’s good to work on one foot at a time so that you as the top can approach each foot from a similar side.  I prefer to stand on the outside of the leg so that my stroke falls (ideally) in the arch and along the pads  of the foot with great toe pad getting the most attention.  

If you are someone who has trouble targeting the strokes accurately, you might try putting a short cane  between the toes to act as a guide and that way you can get full coverage of the foot as you move the target toward the heel. Just remember that tapping the cane, bouncing the cane on the foot with a light  grip as is the bounce back stroke. At most a 2” swing to a 10” swing with no full force swings of the cane  are necessary for a good session. Remember, it’s a day at the foot spa for the bottom.  

Think of Bastinado as a way to pay the bottom back for all the time, effort and energy that they have given you as the Top.  

You can also use a tuning fork or a waxing or a massage and all of the above to make this an amazing  Bastinado experience. Start light, have fun, go slow and enjoy this fetish.  

You can access the coaching services offered by Lady Petra Playground by reaching out for an initial  conversation- LadyPetraPlaground@gmail.com  

SafferMaster and Lady Petra offer Kink Relationship Coaching with online, group, and personal coaching  options.  

Lady Petra and SafferMaster also produce the Kinky cocktail Hour podcast available on all podcast platforms and here: https://kinkycocktailhour.buzzsprout.com/

A Masochists Journey

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Something happened this week during our High Protocol scene. For my collared Slut and I, this occurs  when she presents herself to be marked. We do this about once a week. I mark her with a heavy cane.  The number of strokes vary according to her desire. The rest of the week she has a maintenance  spanking during our daily play scenes. That is the context.  

We were talking (debriefing) after the scene, and she said that she found the marking sexually arousing.  This got me thinking about each of our transformations as sexual creatures since we started sceneing  together almost 3 years ago.  

For me the transformation to sensual sadist was not as big a step as it was for her to discover impact  play as arousing. I had explored being a disciplinarian and a cruel sadist at length before I met her and  had found, to my surprise, that pure sadism was not my preferred way of being. I had always wanted my  sadism to be wrapped up in my sexuality, and sadism without sex was pointless as far as I could tell. I needed more.  

For her the transformation was way more nuanced and more profound.  

Its best to tell the story of her transformation in the form of a narrative from the beginning. When we  first met, I saw her as a masochist. To wit, I had given her a task to do to test her obedience and her  masochist tendencies – I instructed her to fig herself with a stick of wet ginger and to masturbate while  doing so. She had 3 orgasms. Then she was required to meditate for a few minutes with the ginger  inserted. She had an out of body experience. I also learned that as an elite distance athlete she had a  lifelong experience with endorphins and being in a trance state.  

After a time, I invited her to put herself forward to be claimed. The claiming would involve her being  “marked inside and out”. I told her that I would piss in her ass and down her throat and that I would mark her with a cane.  

It took something to put herself forward in that context. She had chosen me to be her Dom and she  chose to kneel for me. She was courageous. She experienced the early period of our dynamic with some  fear and trepidation mixed with the excitement of being a claimed submissive, the sex was intoxicating  and new to her, and at the same time, she was having an ongoing conversation with herself, figuring out  how she was going to endure and cope with the experience of choosing a sadist as her Dom long term.  She is very competitive, and she was determined to win.  

During the early period of our dynamic, as a responsible sadist, I was trying to read her before, during  and after scenes, so that I could adjust the sadism to her experience as a masochist as lived. In that we  are in a 24/7 TPE, I had a lot of responsibility to make sure that “I didn’t break my toys”. I told her I  didn’t and she trusted that I would not. I had to be good to my word. For about 6 months, we used  different implements and I created many different scenes exploring many fetishes and kinks to see  where she and I were aligned, and how it felt. It was all new and a thrilling, exciting and scary experience  for her to be in this intense sexual inquiry at that stage of our relationship. We first related as kinksters  and as sexual creatures, and I had made the determination to make sure my partner and I were sexually  aligned. We talked a lot about what worked and what adjustments were needed to make things work,  and for a while, that was how we progressed the dynamic. Several months into our cohabitation, in  response to circumstances, I implemented a Daily Maintenance Spanking regime. This was a particularly important event in our dynamic. We learned a great deal, both about her masochism as a result of that  decision, and about my sadism and what it was that pleases me.  

“During this early phase of our dynamic, I had many stories and scenarios running through my  head as I attempted to make meaning of the impact play variations we were exploring. I liked  the idea of impact play as an endurance test of my will and obedience. As a service submissive, I  was determined to win this game. My internal dialogue included judgements that I should be  able to take 100+ strokes of a cane or any other implement my Daddy chose to use to mark his  property. However, I had little experience with most implements…especially within a 24/7 TPE  dynamic. Early on, I was fixated on the stingy pain of implements and how they distracted me  from being present versus enhancing my sexual experience. I was preoccupied with the pain. At  first, I discovered certain implements were not my favorite. I feared sharing that with my Daddy  as I didn’t want to disappoint him…a sadist. However, I was committed to creating no space  between us and so I began to share. What was so wonderful, is that he listened…he too was  searching for his sensual sadistic rhythm. I found that the heavy flogger was my favorite  implement and would crave it most of all. I knew that the cane would always be present as my  Daddy wanted his slut marked. I resigned myself to endure the cane as the trade-off was his  satisfaction and appreciation of his slut welcoming her marks. During this time of caning, I would  try to use various techniques to reframe the pain. I tried crushing the pain and diminishing it I my  mind’s eye. I would realize the caning as flagellations to pay for the pain I had bestowed upon  my children for divorcing their father. I would also use breath control to focus pain out of my  body on the exhale. All methods worked a bit, but were largely unsuccessful ongoingly. When  Daddy implemented the Daily Maintenance Spanking, I was both excited and a bit nervous. What  if I couldn’t take it? After the first week of daily spankings of 200-500 strokes with the heavy  flogger, I began to look forward to this intimate time. I felt myself relax into the flogging and  after about 100-200 strokes, I was warmed up and no longer would feel the strokes individually.  Instead, I began experiencing an energetic buzz throughout my body. My initial physical reaction  was a dripping wet pussy…often running down my legs. This would always be followed by  incredibly hot hot kinky sex with my Daddy. As time passed, I would comment that I could handle  more and more flogging. Basically, I would stretch my Daddy to flog me until his arm gave out.  Around this time, I proposed that 1000 strokes may be fun to attempt. This scene included my  Daddy tying me up in a bent over position with my hands and ankles bound together. He went to  work and got lost in his own Dom space. I too was lost in sub space and only requested to stop  after hitting our goal due to my legs falling asleep and fearing I would collapse.” – Lady Petra  

Mainly we learned after using several implements over time, that she responded best to the heavy  flogger, and to a steady rhythmic firm impact. We learned that after about 125 strokes she started to  experience orgasms as the spanking continued. We tested her tolerance to over 1200 strokes on one  occasion and only stopped because her arms and legs were falling asleep in the bondage. She loved the  experience. Since then, our daily maintenance spanking routine is implemented exclusively using the  heavy flogger and because we both find it so very arousing, we have ridiculously hot sex every single  time. The spanking is now inextricably wrapped into our sexuality. Her relationship with pain had evolved.  

That was a pivotal moment in her masochism. It was when she first started to experience herself as a  sensual masochist. Her experience with pain was something that we talked about a lot. And in fact, the  daily conversations we were having became the impetus of our podcast launch. 

I gave her a view to consider, that pain is an emotion and that its subject to interpretation. She became  clear through the daily spankings with the heavy flogger over time, that the notion rang true for her too.  Even so, the High Protocol scenes where marking occurred, the impact with the cane was more than she  could process at the moment.  

Over time, we explored different elements around caning her to see if we could find a path to make her  experience of being caned as sexually arousing for her as it was for me. We tried giving her a prolonged  warm-up and we tried taking more and also less time between strokes, but we were unable to alter her  overall experience of being caned, which at that time the intensity of being caned had the impact of pulling her out of subspace.  

Recently and quite by accident, we hit on a novel way to approach marking. I noticed one day that she  spontaneously asked to be marked in the middle of a scene. I mark her and then fuck her ass while she  recovers. One day, she randomly stated after being caned while I was fucking her ass … ”Mark me  Daddy”. First of all, I found the experience incredibly hot and very erotic. Second, she seemed to handle  the next cane stroke with ease. It occurred to me that instead of me trying to judge and assess her  status so as to manage her marking without breaking her spirit, she could just tell me what she was  actually dealing with and wanting at the moment. So, we talked about my need to mark her rather than  hurt her, and her desire to be my marked slut. We made the choice to give her the power to determine  how many marks she received after my initial stoke during a marking protocol scene.  

“When I first asked to be marked with the cane, I was deep in sub space and we had already  began the caning protocols. I was feeling so connected and aligned with my Daddy, that I felt his  caning was an expression of his desire and love for me. He cared enough to mark…ME! My love  for him overflowed and I heard myself say…”Mark me Daddy!” I was both aroused and shocked  at what I heard erupt from me. As I bared down reading myself for his mark, something  changed. He marked me and I remember saying to myself…”Wow…that wasn’t so bad.” The  pain seemed to dissipate quicker than usual too. That was the beginning…Daddy stated that  after my 1st cane stroke on marking days, I would then be given the power to request more  strokes. This was a game changer. Now I would request my strokes, which is a bit of a mind  fuck. But, as a switch, to give me power to request my strokes gave me access to experience my  caning in a new and enlightening way. I began to not dread my caning. I began cherishing my  marks as I felt part of the process. My Daddy’s insight truly led to my greater and more positive  experience with marking.” – Lady Petra 

This was a game changer for her. She suddenly started to relate to the pain of being caned with a  different context and mindset. She started to request many more strokes than she had previously  experienced. This was music to my ears. Hot sex became even hotter! Our kink experience was  dramatically enhanced by this simple choice. She could give up her fears around being caned and  contextualize the experience as “being marked by her choice”. As her Dom, I want her marked and as  my submissive she chooses to be my marked property. We are aligned.  

This brings us to what happened yesterday. After our High Protocol Scene, we were talking and she said  to me “I found the caning very arousing”.  

This revelation exploded in my mind as a line that we had been striving to cross, or a mountain peak we  were trying to summit had been achieved. The experience of flogging her led to a massive breakthrough in her experience with impact play and yesterday, the experience of caning has now resulted in a  massive breakthrough in her experience with caning.  

During the scene, which we begin with a hypnokink induction, I framed all our play in the context of an  “energy exchange”, including the caning, and I suggested to her that she experience the caning as a  massive transfer of energy, which it is ultimately.  

Whatever the catalyst, she had a new experience with the cane that left her more aroused by the  experience that she was at any time in the past.  

By the time she got caned during our High Protocol scene, she had already experienced multiple  orgasms, oral, anal and vaginal, and she had been flogged perhaps 500 times with two heavy floggers in  preparation. Despite that, she shared, after the experience, that at the time, she had a consideration  that she was not sufficiently warmed up and, in some ways, nor was she mentally prepared for the  marking to occur at that moment. Even so, her experience of the marking was, surprisingly, one of being  sexually aroused by the caning.  

“This new experience of feeling arousal during my marking occurred to me newly during this  most recent marking day. I found my caning bearable and was able to feel the energy move  through me and back to my Daddy. Not quite sure I fully understand how to replicate the  scenario, but I do think the suggestions relating to energy transfer with the caning helped me  reframe the experience. Our scenes have only been getting hotter and hotter. I feel closer to my  dominant more than any other person on earth. I think all combined, we have access to a door  to Nirvana that few experience. I am grateful to be on a path with such a sexy sensual sadistic  dominant who pulls and demands the masochist inside me to meet him toe-to-toe. He creates  me and I create him. We are only at the beginning, and I am excited to see where we will go  next!” – Lady Petra  

This is a big deal in our dynamic. I am not sure if its due to one reason or another, or if her experience  was created by several combined aspects of the experience. Probably the latter. What I know is that as a  sensual Dom, I wrap my sadism into my sexuality and now I have confidence that as a masochist, she  wraps her masochism into her sexuality, including our marking scenes, and it brings us closer together  and aligns us to an even more precise degree. We are now even more aligned than we were, and to a  degree that I thought impossible with another human being.  

From the start, I set out to sexualize our dynamic and to a large degree I have been successful. Naturally  this could not occur without Lady Petra’s full enrollment and participation. She is my 24/7 collared slut.  She is always prepared to serve me. And now, our journey has taken a turn as it does in the rabbit hole.  

We set out to explore our sexuality and to seek ever more fulfilling sexual encounters. Over the years,  the twists and turns in the rabbit hole have surprised us. We always say that if we take new actions, the  outcomes are unexpected.  

If I had told you 3 years ago that in 3 years, she would find caning arousing, you might have raised your  eyebrows if you had had a chance to interview her back then. But now, three years later her experience  of herself as a masochist has transformed. The crucible that this has occurred in is that over 1,000  iterations, we have distilled our sexual encounters down to a series of the most exciting, most erotic,  hottest actions and interactions from hypnokink, to impact play, to 3-hole penetration, to a give and take that keeps us both in a state of primal lust and now, because of her most recent experience, our  High Protocol Scene has become scalding hot.  

“I love a woman when she has abandoned her moral center and teachings…when she’s cast aside her façade of propriety and lady-like demeanor…when I have so corrupted this fragile thing  and brought out a writhing, mewing, bucking, wanton whore for my enjoyment and pleasure…enticing from within this feral lioness…growling and scratching and biting…taking  everything I dish out to her…at that moment she is never more beautiful to me except for when I  realize that I have now helped unleash a lioness into the world…”  

−Marquis de Sade  

SafferMaster and Lady Petra offer Kink Relationship Coaching with online, group, and personal coaching  options.  

You can access the coaching services offered by Lady Petra Playground by reaching out for an initial  conversation- LadyPetraPlaground@gmail.com  

New coaching content can be found on out Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/LadyPetrasPlayground  

Lady Petra and SafferMaster also produce the Kinky cocktail Hour podcast available on all podcast  platforms and here: https://kinkycocktailhour.buzzsprout.com/

Erotica: The Monster, The Maker, and The Master

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I knelt by the fireplace.  My knees burn with the effort.  My legs have long since gone numb.  I am waiting for Master.  He said He would be but a few minutes, and yet the chime of the clock mocks the hour mark.  

I am worried about him.  I cannot help it.  Master is extremely capable of taking care of himself. I would not wish my worst enemy to turn his ire, but I cannot help the slight stuttering of my heart as the clock hands tick.

My body is starting to bend.  My posture is failing, my back bending forward weakly.  I feel tired and weak, but I refuse to disobey Master.  He ordered me to wait and wait I shall.

My eyes drift close thinking about Him.  He has done so much for me.  He let me see the light again.  He touches me with kindness.  He speaks to me as though I am a person.  While I know it is an illusion, it is one I cling to desperately.

Anything is better than before.  I will not disappoint Him.  To do so only means I will be sent away…or worse, forgotten.

He had said only a few minutes and yet the time has passed, bringing back only anxiousness in return.  I am trying to remind myself that I live by His time, not mine. But still, it is unlike him to be late. I know my Master and he is punctual, easily displeased when others are not. 

I want to look for him. Even numb, my knee twitches as though to lift my weight.  I lean back further onto my haunches.  I know better.  I am to stay where I am.

The fireplace is dimming now.  My body is on fire, but the chill is rapidly cooling the sweat beaded on my skin. The embers mock me as the darkness falls.  I do not like the darkness.  I spent far too long submerged in it to ever again be comfortable.

I close my eyes.  If I pretend the darkness is simply because my eyes are closed, I may yet survive this.

My mind starts drifting back to before Master owned me.  Drifting back to the lessons of a madman and his monster.

“Stupid wench.  How hard is it to please my friends?  Your sobs do not make for a good fuck!”  He threw me to the ground.  I could barely get my barrings before his hand wrapped threw my hair and he dragged me across the cold cement.  My eyes watered from the pain. I tried so hard to stay quiet, to not fuel his rage, but I couldn’t help the small sob that escaped.  

He flipped me over, my outer thigh scraped from the pavement and my knees bruised from the force of falling on them.  He pulled me to my feet, my arms limp at my sides.  I knew better than to fight him.  

I am to be punished.

Without a word, he finally lets my hair loose and sets about securing my wrists in the shackles hanging from the ceiling.  They are secured high enough that I have to stay on my tip toes to remain standing.  My body sways in the chains.  He leaves my feet free because he knows I will move.  At some point, I will try to shift the weight from my wrists.  I know, as does He, that all that does is knock my center of balance and ends up wounding me more.

I close my eyes.  This will not be pleasant.  I have disgraced him, amongst his peers.  

His fury has settled into silence.  My skin has developed goosebumps.  The hairs are standing on end.  Why isn’t he doing anything?

Deep breath.

Time passes slowly in the dark.  I do not know how long I have been here.  I can hear the scurrying of a mouse or two, but without light, it is hard to tell the time.  

I suddenly feel the strike of a whip.

My body tenses in surprise.  My eyes open but its hard to tell.  The darkness is too oppressing.

Again.

And Again.

The tears are falling heavy and my chest is heaving with sobs.

Again.

And Again.

I am pulling at the shackles as hard as I can.  I just want to run.  My legs feel weak from how long I have been there.  

Again

And Again.

My back is on fire.  It drips with either blood or sweat.  It makes the floor slick beneath me.

Again.

I’ve begged him to stop.  I’ve apologized over and over again.  I’ve promised to never shame him again.  He stays silent.

Again.

The sobs have quieted now.  I have no tears left and my voice is raw from screaming.  

Another.

Three more in succession and all I can do is let out small gasps.  I have no words, no tears, no fight left in me.

He unhooked me and my body dropped like lead.

His voice surrounds me when he does speak.  “We will go until you can take this in silence.  You will never shame me again with your incessant crying.”

I spent a week in the darkness.  I earned my food and water only when I could keep from making sounds during his cruelty.

He alternated after that first session.  He would strike several times and then stop.  He would leave uneven lengths of space between his rounds.  I was tired. I just wanted it to end.

And it did.

The moment he missed and took sight from my left eye.

The memories faded from my conscious as I came to awareness. My eyes blink rapidly, trying to push my horrific past from my mind. 

I did not think I had fallen asleep, Sir. I feel a hand running through my hair and my eyes finally start to focus in on the soft glow of your bedroom.  I wouldn’t have come in here without your permission Sir.  I promise.  That must mean you brought me in here.

Had I fallen asleep?  I must have.  Oh no.

I can feel my body tensing against you.  Your hand stops caressing my locks.

My voice is shaking, and my words are barely above a whisper. “I’m sorry Master. I didn’t mean to, really I didn’t. I tried, I’m sorry.” My voice sticks in my throat and, for the first time since my sight was taken, I could feel the tears spill through my lashes. I couldn’t help it. I have disappointed you. “I-I…”

My head drops from your chest and I move swiftly from my position next to you, until I am kneeling on the bed in the same position I had been by the fireplace.

If I had been thinking clearly, I would recognize that I had both spoken out of turn and removed myself from your grasp.  But everything is fairly fuzzy in my panic.

I see your hands reach for me, and then you are gently trying to pull me back to you. I tense. “Pet,” Your voice is firm with warning.  

I have no desire to upset you further Sir.  I take a deep breath and consciously relax my body, resisting minimally as you pull me into your lap. My shoulder leans against your chest and I feel the warmth of your hand as you urge my head to rest upon your shoulder.

“Why did you panic, pet? It is not like you to resist. You may speak freely.”

I take a deep breath and thank the Gods you have not made me meet your eyes.  “I-I fell asleep Master. I remember waiting for you and now I am in here. You must have carried me Sir. I do not understand why you did not just leave me there.  I apologize for failing you.” My voice wavers during the last sentence, but I have said what I must.

“No, pet, you did not.”  My head turned up to meet your eyes.  “I found you unconscious. Your body was burning with fever. It only broke a couple of hours ago. I had not expected you to wake at all tonight. Why did you not tell me?” You stare into my eyes, waiting patiently for me to gather my thoughts.  I break eye contact and swallow harshly.

“I thought I would be okay Sir. You said you would be back in a few minutes, and I did not wish to worry you.  My discomfort comes after You, Sir.”

“I had not expected to be gone so long. I received a call I had been waiting for.”  Your fingers grip my chin and you bring my head back up to face you. “I thought we had agreed you would tell me these things?” You sound disappointed, Sir. 

Now that is true pain.

“Yes, Sir. I just, I didn’t feel that bad. I was only a little sore. If I thought I was going to pass out, I would have told you.”

“We are going to have to work on your sense of worth.  I want to know any discomfort you are feeling pet. For now, you will rest. Is that clear?” 

“Yes Master.” You nodded that you heard me.  I attempted to get up, but your hand on my chest had me stilling.

 I swallowed, “Sir?”

“I said rest, pet.  Tonight, you share with me.”

You stripped down and climbed in behind me.  My body molded into yours.  

Tomorrow, I am sure we will address the punishment for omitting too much when I told you I was fine.  Just as I am sure that my scale of “fine,” may be redefined.

But, for tonight, I will curl up with you.

Maybe, now, I won’t fear the darkness.

Erotica: The Laughter Of Kink

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I asked what you wanted, as I have many times before.  Usually, you will tell me you are unsure, and decide in the moment what will please you.  This time you had an answer.

“I want to hear you laugh.”

I was taken aback.  Have I been so depressed that you are unable to see something so simple?  Has it become so rare you feel the need to request it?  I am disheartened to think I have stopped giving you such a small thing.

I shake my head of my thoughts and look at you. “You want me to laugh?”

“Yes.  It makes me happy to hear you laugh.”

It has been a long time since I was at a loss for words.  I do not know where to even begin to make this happen.  If it were so easy, I probably would have done so already.  It will be a challenge Sir.  But I am sure I can accommodate your request.  

I am nervous Sir.  I have been so unsure of what you have planned.  I am so afraid of disappointing you.  This is the first time you have told me what you plan to do.  I always thought that doing so would take away the anticipation.  It did not.  

You have decided on tickle torture.

I am convinced of two things.  I am probably going to piss myself.  And I am probably going to die.  Ok, that is a little dramatic, even for me.  But I cannot help it.

I am standing before you, completely exposed.  I am trying to be patient.  Methodically, you are wrapping rope around me.  My arms are folded behind me, each hand clasping an opposite forearm.  My eyes are closed, and I am trying to relax my breathing.

Ropes have never been a limit.  We just do not use them.  I have discovered that my patience is minimal when it comes to this kind of prep work.

Your hands are soft as you move the rope around me.  Ever so slowly, it tightens into place.  Finally, I hear you chuckle.  I am curious at what has amused you.  My eyes pop open just in time to catch the camera flash.  

My head dropped down to hide my blush.  No matter how depraved we get, I never cease to feel so shy when your attention is focused on me.

“Head up sweetie.”

I complied.

Your hands are tugging at different spots.  I am sure you are making sure that nothing will damage me.

“How does that feel?”

“Good, Master.  Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me yet.  We are just getting started.”

There is that feeling again.  The nervous anticipation.  

Your fingers are running through my hair.  It is so long now.  You seem to have such a fascination with it.  I feel a tap on my shoulder, and I kneel.  As I settle, I feel a brush run through my hair.  I stay silent, enjoying the feeling.  You have never done this before.

I try to stamp down the little voice inside my head that tells me that you are dissatisfied with me for leaving my hair down.  I normally pull it back, but I thought you might enjoy the change.  Was I wrong, Sir?  Should I not have deviated from my normal routine?

I try not to let my inner thoughts ruin what you are doing.  I have to remember to breathe.  It does not matter the why.  It only matters what pleases you.

After several long moments, I feel you pull my hair back and wrap it into a ponytail.  Then I felt the telltale pull of braiding.  I have not had someone braid my hair in years.  It is odd how much I am enjoying this.

Of course, I am not blind to the fact that the nicer you are now, the rougher you will be later.

I am sure I make quite the picture, Sir.  The white ropes are stark as they crisscross over my skin.  My shoulder muscles are taunt from trying to free my hands.  My hair hangs in a braid down my back. And the beautiful cherry on top, is my jaw wrenched open by a red ball gag.  I can feel the amount of drool sliding down the sides of my mouth.

Do I glisten Sir? Are you enjoying the mess you have turned me into before we have even started?

You do not have to answer Sir.  I can see the glint in your eye. You are enjoying this.

At least you were kind enough to use the gag with holes through it. Maybe I will still be breathing at the end of this.

The first shove took me off guard.  I have been standing here, just waiting for instructions, and you have not said a word.  You just stared at me.  Do you know how unnerving that is or how much it makes me want to squirm?

But I know better.  I waited, as still as possible, for your instruction.

Suddenly, I felt your hand in the middle of my back and I was forcefully shoved.  My body hits the bed and it takes the wind out of me for a second.  I try to get my knees under me to adjust myself, but you are not letting up.

The game has begun.

I feel several rough smacks from your hand every time I try to shift up.  There is no warm-up today.  Finally, taking far longer than it should have for me to understand, I stop trying to get my knees under me.  All I am doing is giving you a target.

I start rotating my body so that I can flip onto my side.  You start tickling my feet.  I cannot help but laugh.  It sounds awfully breathy through the gag.  I hate being tickled.  Did I mention that Sir?  I despise it.  But above all, I despise anyone tickling my feet.  They are so sensitive that it often hurts.

My brain is fighting over the rules.  I am not supposed to move when you tickle me.  Because you enjoy watching me struggle.  Yet, my reflex is to kick at you.

I curl my knees up, trying to keep my feet still but move from your reach.  It is a fruitless endeavor.  You simply move closer.  My body is twisting, I have lost the battle to stay still.  I am laughing.  I turn to look at you.  Your face is filled with Sadistic glee.

In that second, I know exactly why I agreed to this.

I cannot take it anymore. My legs are kicking at you.  This just seems to amuse you more.  I roll onto my back so I can use my feet to push me up the bed, trying to escape.  You expected the move.  Your hands wrap around my ankles and tug.  My ass is at the edge of the bed.  You move over me and straddle my hips.  As you meet my eyes, your fingers move to my sides and start tickling me relentlessly.

I toss my head side to side.  Your thighs tighten on my hips.  I am pinned.  I will be at your mercy until you decide otherwise.

It hurts but I cannot stop laughing.  My brow is matted with sweat.  This is one hell of a workout.

I feel one of your hands move up my stomach and grab roughly at my boob.  Your fingers pinch my nipples tightly and you tug upward.  You are just holding it.  Every time I try to twist from the tickling.  You gave me a slight reprieve from the tickling but now both my nipples are under your sadistic hands.  

Your thumb and pointer fingers hold tight to my nipples.  You seem to enjoy pinching right where my piercings lay.  It hurts so much more, especially when you roll them until your nails are dig into the tender flesh.

You smirk down at me when I hiss in pain.  Without a word, you lean down and take my nipple between your teeth and tug harshly.  I should probably specify that the strangled noise you heard was, in fact, a gasp.  A gasp, I repeated, as you spent a few minutes alternating between each of my nipples.  

They are so tender Sir.  They will be for days.  But you know that.  You know my work clothes will press upon the tortured flesh and I will be distracted by the memories it conjures.

You let go suddenly and lean back.  Your body weight presses down on my thighs and my stomach heaves in exhaustion.  You are looking down at me.  Your eyes boring into mine.  My face is flush. I can feel it.  My jaw aches as I pant through the gag.  

I’ve never seen you so energetic during play.  You have a glow about you.  It makes me happy.

I can feel myself slipping Sir.  I can see the static starting to form around you.  The blood is rushing loudly through my ears, making it difficult to hear.  I am quickly sinking into subspace, Sir.  

I am positive you see it.

Your hand wraps in the front harness of ropes and pulls my upper body close to you.  My eyes feel blown open as I try to meet your eyes.  It is so difficult to make eye contact Sir.  I am losing focus.

You let go and I drop back to the bed.  My head bounces.  I am saddened by the loss of pressure.  

Suddenly, your hand is wrapped back in the ropes as you spin my body around.  I will never understand how you can move me as though I am weightless.  

My feet are on the wall and my legs are bent.  My head rests in the middle of the bed and I am staring up at the ceiling.  I laugh when you wrap my braid around your hands.  I understand now.

I needed a handle.  

I push against the wall, trying to alleviate the tugging on my head as I am pulled to the edge of the bed.  As my head comes to rest, hanging off the bed, I see you crouch down.  I feel you undoing the buckle of the gag.  Your fingers slide around my cheeks, towards my lips, and you gently pry the gag from between my teeth.  

The first thing I did was swallow.  I am sticky with sweat and saliva, but I unable to move to wipe it away.  As you stand, I move to lift my head, but you prevent it by stepping forward.  Your jeans press against my face.

I can smell your arousal Sir.  It excites me.

Like the good girl I am, I open wide and stick out my tongue.

Have I been good enough to get a reward Sir?  Will I get to taste you?

You stand there for a few minutes.  I feel restless. I rub my face against your jeans.  Please, Sir.  Please may I please you?

I keep still and quiet.  You do not like to feel rushed.  I am here for your pleasure, not the other way around.

Then I hear it.

Your zipper slides down and the button is tugged from its home.  Teasingly, you take your time pulling out your cock.  I have no choice but to wait patiently.  I am not in a position to initiate anything and you know it.

You put the tip to my lips.  I stick my tongue out and work my piercing around the head.  I push the tip of my tongue slightly against your slit, moving it up and down for a few strokes before I return to circling the head.  

I must have teased you a little too much.

Without warning, your length is down my throat, passed my gag reflex.  My throat is spasming around you as I gag.  I am struggling to breath.  My nose is buried in your balls and your scent is all around me, but I cannot draw breath.  

I start struggling.  My feet flatten on the bed and I lift my hips.  My lower half is twisting, trying to tell you I need to breathe.

You wait a few seconds more.

Then you pull back.  I draw breath just before you thrust in again.  Over and over, I struggle to breathe as you alternate your rhythm.  Sometimes you fuck my mouth without mercy.  Then you will bury yourself deep and wait until my body twists and turns in panic before pulling back.  

It starts to get fuzzy around here Sir.  I remember your hand wrapping around my throat as you push your length slowly back in.  You do not go far enough to trigger my gag reflex.  My chest is heaving, drawing small, short pockets of air around your cock.  

I feel as though I am suffocating but you always leave me enough room to draw breath.

When your hand leaves my neck, I feel you pull yourself from my mouth.  My eyes are struggling to stay open.  

As they slide closed, my body exhausted, I feel you finish on my face.  I can feel it across my forehead and my eyes.  There is even a bit sliding down my cheek.

I feel relaxed now Sir.  My breathing is slowing, and everything is quiet.

I feel your finger tap twice on my lips.  I open obediently.  You wipe the last of your cum across my tongue.

I must have missed you speaking.  It is rare you resort to hand signals.

It is so quiet.  

Where are you, Sir? 

My body is freezing now.  All the hairs are standing on end and I am shivering.

Your hands are like fire as they caress my skin.

I both love and hate this.  I want to curl into you Sir.  Yet, I have to wait as you remove the ropes.  I know you are being cautious, so I do not get burned, but I just want you to hold me.

Once free, my body just drops.  I do not even have the strength to even lift my head.

I jump slightly when I feel a warm cloth on my face.  You are cleaning me up.  

It saddens me to have my face cleaned but I appreciate you taking care of me, Sir.

Even with my eyes closed, I know you are talking to me.  I cannot hear you.  But that is normal.  

I hope my laughter has pleased you, Sir.

As soon as my senses dull, and I come back to you, I will be sure to thank you properly.

With three kisses to each boot and my forehead to the floor.

Good Ways To Spice Things Up If You’re Struggling In The Bedroom

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Most people don’t like to freely admit when they’re having trouble in the bedroom. Such a confession is wrongly seen as a weakness to be ashamed of, so many just stay quiet and hope that things improve on their own. Unfortunately, it’s rare that such problems actually get better without any intervention.

The good news is that there are plenty of ways to improve your performance in the bedroom; you just need to know what they are. This guide lists four of the ways you can improve your skills and spice things up after hours, ensuring that you never have a bad night in bed again.

Improve Your Physical Strength

You don’t need to be a gym buff to win over girls and satisfy them in the bedroom. However, spending more time working on your body could help you perform better when the time comes.

Sometimes, it’s easy to forget that sex can be quite the workout, utilising all sorts of muscles you might forget about. If you find that your intimate encounters aren’t that taxing on your body, that could explain why you’re having trouble in the bedroom. While the experience doesn’t have to be an all-out sweatfest, your arms, legs, abs, and back should all be playing their part.

The reason why exercising more often can help with sex is that it can strengthen these areas so that you’re able to last longer in bed. The last thing you want is to take a break after two minutes because you’re worn out and don’t have the strength to keep going. Admittedly, there’s nothing wrong with letting her take control for a little while so you can recover. However, if she ends up having to do all the work, she probably won’t be impressed.

Get Tips From An Expert

Whether they don’t want to hurt your feelings or they’re not actually sure what the problem is, it can be hard to get answers about why you’re bad from the people you sleep with. That can be an issue because if you don’t know where you’re going wrong, you can’t make any improvements.

That’s why it might be worth spending time with an expert, plenty of which you can find at Adultseek. Not only are many of the women here well versed in sex, but they also understand men reasonably well because of all the dates they’ve been on. They know the faults that can often crop up and how to address them without causing offence. Plus, they’re usually not afraid to be open about all things concerning sex, so you don’t need to feel awkward discussing your problems. If the two of you hit it off, they may even show you how to do things properly.

Just spending a few hours with one of these women may give you the confidence booster you need when it comes to the bedroom. If not, you can keep booking time with them until you get there.

Be Present In The Moment

Sex is supposed to be an intimate act between two people, yet many partners forget to truly share the experience with their other half. Maybe they’re unresponsive while receiving pleasure, or they look away during tender moments. Whatever it is, some people just fail to connect with what’s happening, and that can remove some of the fun from the experience.

If you’ve been guilty of this in the past, it’s worth remembering that you’re not alone in the bedroom. Try to make eye contact more often or be more vocal when a girl is going down on you. Try to pay attention to the stuff she likes, too, and do it more often. Simply by being more attentive to your partner, you should find that your encounters go from dull to exciting in an instant.

Introduce New Forms Of Pleasure

Fun in the bedroom is about more than just you penetrating someone. In plenty of cases, such an activity isn’t even included as part of sex. Some people prefer to focus on the various acts of foreplay, as well as integrating toys and kinks, to get their rocks off.

If you’re worried that your go-to method isn’t working, it’s worth switching things up in the future. Maybe spend more time making your partner feel good with your hands and mouth before you unzip. Alternatively, it’s worth seeing if she has any particular interests that you may be open to trying out. It’s always good to have honest discussions about sex with the people you sleep with, especially those who are more than just a one-time encounter. You never know what pleasures you might discover together, which could change things in the bedroom forever.

Being bad in bed isn’t something that you have to live with. Problems like this are easy to fix with the right motivation, though you may need to give it time before your skills are worth idolising. Practice makes perfect, after all.

What Is It About Impact Play?

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With her ass lit up red from well over 300 strokes with a heavy flogger, her cum dripping down her legs,  her mind floating in a hypnotic sub-space fog, she moans as my cock fills her ass.  

“Mark me Daddy” she coos.  

The cane stroke startles her for a moment, before she moans with pleasure as my cock again fills her ass  and my cool skin presses against her red-hot cheeks…she is cuming hard as she asks again to be marked  “mark me Daddy.” In our scenes, she is marked and then ass fucked until she asks to be marked again.  The cycle repeats until she stops asking or until I am so aroused that I cum. This week she welcomed 10  strokes of the heavy cane. She is a proudly marked collared slut.  

Impact play is ultimately a form of energy play. Kinetic energy that the implement delivers to the  bottom, who in impact play is referred to as the catcher, from the person wielding the whip, the  thrower, varies based on the skill and the amount of energy used to throw the whip. What occurs in the  receiver’s body with the impact is an interesting neurophysiological and psychological/emotional  phenomenon. What makes a masochist a masochist is the association of pain with pleasure. And at the  same time, there are people who do not identify as masochists who enjoy impact play. With that in  mind, consider that the first time a flogger/whip lands on the skin, the pain receptors, technically called  nociceptive mechanoreceptors, are stimulated to fire. They send their message of pain up to the brain  using a slowly transmitting message pathway of unmyelinated nerves. Think of it as if the pain message  is on a slow train to the cerebral cortex delivered by a chemical process of neurotransmission. If you  have ever bumped your shin hard, you know exactly what I am referring to. The message of pain gets to  the brain eventually, and with repeated strokes of the flogger, that pathway is chemically depleted. At  the same time, there is another process occurring that creates a chemical irritant to the nociceptors.  This time at the level of the capillaries. In the case of an unseasoned bottom, the capillaries fail and leak.  The blood that leaks will lead to bruising around the area. Deep bruising on a fresh bottom will spread as  the blood drains with gravity. In a seasoned bottom, this redness is transient, and reflects a slightly  different process which I will come back to. Local bleeding produces lysosomal enzymes in the  interstitial spaces, which create chemical pain as those lysosomes irritate the nociceptors. When you  press on a bruise, it hurts because those lysosomal enzymes are out in the interstitial tissues rather than  encapsulated in in the lysosomes in the blood vessels where they belong. In the seasoned bottom, the  local redness is in part due to the normal cooling mechanism of the body. Local heat causes redness as  blood comes to the surface so that cooling can occur, and heat can dissipate. The main advantage of  “warming up the bottom” is that the fluid filled tissue is very tolerant of impact play. With my slut, we  play almost every day and her ass gets very red, but a short time after we play her skin color has  returned to normal. There are no lasting effects of the impact play on the local tissue.  

Just a short note on pain interpretation. As best we can tell, pain is an emotion. We experience the  emotion the way we do based on many things from our upbringing to our nature. My mom was  incredibly stoic. She barely flinched when she cut her and badly and had to have stitches without  anesthetic. I have had a dental filling replaced without an anesthetic by just using visualization to  manage the pain of dental work. The point is that we all interpret pain differently.  

As a flogging scene begins, I gradually build up the intensity of the impact and the ass literally warms up.  The combination of repeated blows of a gradually increasing intensity brings enough blood to the area to allow the blows to land on tissue that does not deform sufficiently to fire off the deep pain receptors  and the sensation of impact play is normalized recruiting the normal sensory pathway, which is  delivered via high-speed electro-chemically transmitting myelinated nerves. Think of this as the fast  train. Imagine that the two pathways get to a station, and at the station, there is a gating mechanism  which gives priority to the rapidly conducting nerves, so the pain transmission is overwhelmed by this  new input and the sensation experience of the catcher changes to a sensation that is interpreted as  pleasurable, or at least, as a more normal sensation.  

Its that shift that moves the experience from one of punishment to one of pleasure. The impact imparts  kinetic energy that the catcher internalizes as erotic, sexual and arousing. This occurs because in the  cerebral cortex, the pain input is received, and because pain is an emotion, like happiness or sadness,  how it is received is up to the interpretation of the catcher. It is in this state of being in a hypnotic trans  that the catcher interprets the impacts as pleasurable, erotic or sexually arousing.  

The implement I choose to mark my slut with is the cane. I have a long history with the cane, both in  being caned as a child in school as well as an implement to enforce a discipline or impart a punishment. I  choose the cane as the implement I use to mark my slut as an act of love. She wears her marks with  pride, and she chooses to be marked on her terms. We have created a paradigm where she puts herself  forward for marking in our high protocol scenes and during the scene, I mark her when I am confident  that she is, in fact, prepared and ready to be marked. She occurs to me as ready for marking when it is  clear to me that she is experiencing a deeply hypnotic state or what we know as “subspace”, and that  her ass has been warmed up with hundreds of strokes starting with light and progressing to heavy, and  after I have flogged her on two or three separate occasions building up to the intensity each time  leading up to the marking. Once she is warmed up to my satisfaction, I alert her than marking is next so  she can prepare herself, then I give her one firm cane stroke with the heavy cane. I choose the heavy  cane because she is a seasoned bottom and in order to mark her, I need to make sure she develops a  deep bruise. What follows for us is that it’s up to her to request that she be marked again. Giving her  this choice has opened a new avenue for her to explore her masochism and her capacity to expand her  enjoyment of our impact play. There is a lot of power in her choosing to be marked. She is empowered  to test herself and she is immensely proud of her marks. To illustrate this, note that in the past, she only  tolerated up to 3 or 4 strokes before she limited out, with this new paradigm she is now requesting up  to 10 strokes and talking about asking for more. I have one more thing to say about the marking. The  intensity of the cane strokes pulls her out of her hypnotic trance for sure, so we have created a way to  manage the marking process, and then after the marking process if complete, I incorporate all the tricks  I have to create sexual pleasure for her so that she is able to return to her trance state. Marking for us is  not an act of punishment or discipline. Its part of our dynamic and its part of our agreement to live a  Total Power Exchange. In our dynamic, she belongs to me and I mark my belongings. With that said, I  have postulated that because she experiences orgasms with flogging, that before long, and especially as  her cane strokes grow in number, she will also experience orgasm with cane strokes.  

What is interesting about impact play is that there are all sorts of implements to enjoy experimenting  with. I have had the experience of topping a dedicated and long experienced masochist who was fulfilled  by suffering. She was more interested in being hurt than she was in having an orgasm. There is nothing  wrong with that, and that is not where we are in our current dynamic. As a sensual sadist, my interest is  in using implements that allow my slut to explore her sexuality, and her masochism as her full self expression. She is a sensual masochist. Not looking to experience pain for the purpose of suffering, but rather looking for pain that arouses her in the context of an impact scene. We have discovered that she  is partial to the heavy flogger. It brings out her inner slut and she has enjoyed the experience of as many  as 1200 vigorous continuous strokes with the heavy flogger. She is not, as it turns out, partial to the  riding crop, or the paddle or the wooden paddle which seems to be distracting for her. She finds a  rhythmic flogging to be what she desires to keep her in subspace and in full arousal. She finds that the  experience of intermittent strokes or strokes that surprise her tend to “break the spell” as it were. That’s  not her jam. She wants predictable impact play that allows her to explore the depths of her masochism  and her journey in subspace and rhythms that maintain the hypnotic and erotic state of mind seem  more suited to her sexual inquiry.  

Thinking about floggers, there is a continuum from light floggers to heavy, to cat-of-nine tails, to snake  whips to single tails to bullwhips.  

The natural progression is that in the case of throwing and catching whips, there is a progression that  requires skills. Luckily, the skills build from implement to implement. Also, there is a difference between  punishment and sexuality. In this writing, I am speaking about sensual sadism while using whips and  floggers for hypnotic impact play. This is the way we use the flogger. The impact play scenes we engage  in are erotic and hypnotic by nature. This means that there is loud music and the rhythmic strokes that  build up from lighter to heavier are predictable to her and timed with the music. Because I can increase  the intensity on a gradient without changing rhythm or by suddenly changing the intensity too  dramatically, I can keep her in that hypnotic trance state for a long time. The below threshold intensity  of the rhythmic flogging that we engage in helps to both create a hypnotic trance, and to sustain the  experience such that I can increase and decrease the intensity of the flogging so she can ride waves of  pleasure during our play. The only unpredictable variable in our use of the flogger then is the duration of  the flogging. What I never do is “shock” her with an unreasonably heavy strike so she comes out of the  hypnotic trance she is experiencing.  

The choice to move from flogger to cat-of-nine requires the learning of a skillset to keep all nine fronds  of the whip on target. This is amplified in difficulty by orders of magnitude with each successive whip as  the number of fronds goes down, and the length of the whip increases, requiring one to use more force  to get the whip on target with each transition from one whip to the next. By the time you get to single  tails, you are dealing with a whip that can move at subsonic speeds imparting a massive amount of  kinetic energy to the catcher with each stroke. There is no advantage to whip a catcher at super sonic  speeds, that is to say, to crack the whip on the person, and even a sub-sonic whipping, where you crack  the whip just before it impacts the catcher, imparts a significant amount of kinetic energy to the catcher,  who’s skin will likely break unless they are very experienced at catching high intensity whips.  

The definitive work on whips is “Whips in the Dungeon: Singletail Technique” by Dex who also has an  extensive video library and who regularly hosts educational sessions on whip play on Amazon. Dex  maintains a Patreon for a lot of his very worthwhile content too. You can find that here:  https://www.patreon.com/witd. And you can access his Whips in the Dungeon video library that  accompanies the text here http://witd.houseofgraves.com/witd/. If you want to learn to be a proficient  whip thrower, I strongly recommend the Dex method that progresses you from one whip to the next  most difficult whip on the way to the single tail. Dex has a couple of Youtube channels and a facebook  page that you can follow him on. All of those links are available on his fetlife page. Just search for Dex. 

There are two participants in our impact play scenes. The thrower (me) and the catcher (her). In our  scenes, we use impact play as in integral part of our sexual encounters. I use chain bondage, and her  obedience to create a deep dive into hypnotic subspace, and along with hypnotic erotic flogging, take  her to that place where her sexual self-expression occurs in her submission and her unconstrained  exploration of herself as a masochist. It has been there, in that experience of subspace, that our sexual  encounters take on the form of an energetic exchange where we find ourselves occurring not as two  people, but as a single sexual creature. This experience is brought about after a long bout of rhythmic  flogging that pushes her deeper into that frame of mind. The deeper she goes, the harder I can flog her.  The harder I flog her the more she cums, the firmer her butt gets and the more she tolerates cane strokes.  

I have had vastly different experiences with impact play over the years. I have used impact play as a tool  of discipline where submissives who seek guidance choose escalating sessions of corporal punishment to  keep them accountable. In those instances, there is not a long warm-up and the submissive is told to  simple bend over and pull her panties down before being caned. I have also, as I mentioned, been  served by a submissive who needed to suffer in order to be fulfilled sexually. She wanted to be surprised  by intense punishment scenes with unpredictable impacts that shocked and surprised her for example.  

Impact play is something that you can do with or without association with sexual intimacy. People who  are dominants might themselves also enjoy impact play as catchers in addition to being throwers. The  main thing it to remember is that consent is everything and the negotiation that allows the impact scene  to progress should include agreements around safe words.  

In our dynamic, we use Red and Yellow. Others use a number scale, and so on. The number scale is way  for people who do not know each other well to be in communication during a scene. The thrower might  feel that they are using a force that occurs to them as a 7/10 while the catcher might only be  experiencing the impact as a 3/10. The number scale can help them get aligned in their interpretation of  the intensity. The key to a successful scene is that the thrower and the catcher MUST be in  communication, and there must be trust so that the catcher knows that the thrower will honor their  safe words.  

Play safe!  

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