impact play

How To Whip Yourself

November 14, 2020 By Dame TylerRose. 2 Comments

I frequently see questions about how to play by one’s self. In this day and age of plague, it’s particularly important to take care of our own needs. I have always been able to do so, not relying on a partner to give me the pleasures I like most.

This third self-play article will cover an easy impact technique anyone can use with a belt, flogger, and even a short single tail.

First, get a leather belt. If you don’t already have one in your play kit, you can get an inexpensive one from any decent clothing store. Target regularly has them for under twenty dollars. I have found beautifully broken in belts at thrift stores also. They clean up easily enough with soap and water and some shea butter or coconut oil for conditioner.

The length of the belt doesn’t really matter so long as it’s not too long. Something in the 30 to 36 inch range is fine. When folded over, it will be the perfect length.

Standing is a better position so you can swing freely and not smack the bed, chair or sofa. But on your knees on a bed works too.

Start off swinging around your ribs to your back. You may be surprised how much effort is needed to give yourself a good smack. It can be a pretty decent arm workout.

Then over your shoulders. The movies make it look so easy, don’t they?

Inner thighs are right there. Buttocks, back of thighs. Varying the speed changes up the force of impact.

A broken-in belt is easier than a new one, but a new one will be broken in after a few sessions. A studded belt adds another degree of intensity. Some people I know have liked to use the buckle end rather than the leather in the middle. Give it a try; see if you agree.

A game I have played:

Sit down to watch a show on regular television. Commercial comes on, pick up the belt and beat yourself with it until the show comes back. Sit back, watch the show. Commercial comes on, pick up the belt and beat yourself with it. The resting between lets the endorphins come forward into a delicious high – for me, at least. The high is my goal in the first place.

By the 45 minute mark, commercials created an almost Pavlovian response in me.

You can create your own games, such as “1 strike every time someone on a show says the word “the” or “and”, or says a particular character’s name. Then give yourself that many strikes at the next commercial break, or wait and add them all up when the show is over.

All of these things can be done with a short flogger also. Something fifteen to eighteen inches overall length will do. It needs to be hefty enough that the falls have impact. Too long and too thin is difficult to throw over one’s own shoulder and get the impact desired. Shorter is easier to control and strike where you want.

Guess what? You can use a short whip too! I bought a pair of mini snake whips from Highland Whip Design (Instagram – HighlandWhipDesign; Fetlife — https://fetlife.com/users/7280606) and they can absolutely be used to whip one’s self using the same around the ribs and over the shoulder techniques. In fact, while he was finishing them, I asked him if it would reach well for that and he did it on himself to confirm that, yes, absolutely, these will whip one’s own back.

Between these two how-to articles, you have four different implements you can use almost all over on your body. Start with the flogger for warming up. Move on to the belt and then the wooden spoon. Conclude with the whip for that final sharp sting. Hours of self-play are at your fingertips.

If you aren’t too hard on yourself, you can do this every day if you want.

——–

TylerRose. is known as Dame Tyler in the NYC public SM/Fetish scene. She is an award-winning author who has written two “lifestyle”, four cartoon, and over 25 fiction books.

Read her books on her Amazon page — https://www.amazon.com/TylerRose./e/B00HCPLSP2

You can also find more of her OP/ED work in Fetlife: https://fetlife.com/users/305828

FB Fan Page — https://www.facebook.com/TylerRoseGethis/

Twitter — https://twitter.com/DameTyler or @DameTyler

She enjoys crocheting and baking, and will no doubt die with a thesaurus open on her thigh.

How To Use A Wooden Spoon On Yourself

November 7, 2020 By Dame TylerRose. 2 Comments

sexy power exchange couple, submissive blindfolded — via stock.adobe.com

This second self-play article will cover an easy impact technique anyone can use.

First, get a wooden spoon from the kitchen if you don’t already have one in your play kit.

Sitting upright is easiest for reaching most of the body. Start wherever you like. I’ll describe an easy sequence that starts with the inner thighs.

Experiment with how to hold the spoon. Tight isn’t always the most advantageous. If you hold it loosely and allow the spoon to swing an arc of several inches, you’ll get more pain out of its inertia than the strength of your arm.

I don’t do one hard whap at a time. I let it swing and strike over and over and over, rapidly but with moderate force. This builds up the stinging sensation. When I get a hit that is at my upper range, I move to the other thigh.

Ranging to the outside of the thigh changes the sensation significantly. The outer is used to be rubbed against clothing. The inner is more sensitive.

Moving up the belly, yes you can strike on the belly. You’re not going to hit hard enough to do any damage. Up to the breasts/pectorals. Men may find they really enjoy impact to the chest.

You can reach over your shoulders as well, to your upper back. Leaning to one side, you can strike your own buttocks and down the length of the back of your thigh. Lean the other direction to get the other side.

You can turn the spoon around and hold the scoop and use the stick end to strike. This changes both the impact sensation and the concentration of pain.

If you find yourself aroused, get a dildo or jack yourself as you would during any other masturbatory session.

I’ve given myself quite a lot of pain stimulation. A great deal of pleasure. I’ve almost never given myself bruises. Bruises have never been the point of my self-play. Any redness has always been gone within a couple hours.

Self-play isn’t necessarily about getting your extreme pain needs met. To me, it’s about obtaining my perfect level of pleasure; getting myself off; satisfying my immediate arousal.

TylerRose. is known as Dame Tyler in the NYC public SM/Fetish scene. She is an award-winning author who has written two “lifestyle”, four cartoon, and over 25 fiction books.

Read her books on her Amazon page — https://www.amazon.com/TylerRose./e/B00HCPLSP2

You can also find more of her OP/ED work in Fetlife: https://fetlife.com/users/305828

FB Fan Page — https://www.facebook.com/TylerRoseGethis/

Twitter — https://twitter.com/DameTyler or @DameTyler

She enjoys crocheting and baking, and will no doubt die with a thesaurus open on her thigh.

Video: Learn To Dominate

November 7, 2020 By Depraved Eros 2 Comments

Want to know more about Impact Play?

Interested in honing your domination skills?

Curious about Topping?

Then, check out this informative video by Depraved Eros!

This week he gives a practical step by step guide on impact and the art of Domination!

Click below to learn more!

BDSM Dragons Tail Whips, Practical Demo - Learn To Dominate

Watch this video on YouTube

Some Sadist Reassurance

November 1, 2020 By Will Hunt 2 Comments

sexy male Dominant with wooden paddle — via stock.adobe.com

This article is for all you fellow sadists out there. All of us who love to cause pain to others. Who bite our lip as we watch someone’s toes curl, face wince, tears run. Those of us who enjoy the screaming, begging and moaning of our partners.

This article is for all you fellow sadists who carefully plan your scenes. Who learn our partner’s limits and play just on the right side of them. Those of us who like to scare people when we haven’t even touched them…yet!

But above all this article is for you fellow sadists who have doubts, insecurities. Who have wondered if there was something wrong with us because of what we enjoy. Those of us who have questioned ourselves and if our kinks are okay.

Most of us learnt what sadism was long before we learnt about kink, and we learnt sadism was a negative thing; sadism is cruel, wicked, hateful even. To be a sadist is to derive sexual pleasure from the pain, suffering and humiliation of others. Most of us are raised to understand that to do any of these things to another person is a bad thing, and can only ever be a bad thing. There was no provision made for the possibility of a sexual, consensual connotation to sadism when we were learning about right and wrong.

Throughout our lives we develop our sexual identity: new kinks grow, old kinks fade, we lust for more types of play, we relax into roles, but rarely are we static in our kink identity.

I began exploring my kinks in my early 20’s. At first, as with most people, it was all about exploring, discovering what I enjoyed, and what various partners also enjoyed. Often there were just two of us involved. Two consenting adults exploring mentally and physically what we could derive pleasure from. This was relatively straightforward. I enjoyed tying people up, so I found people who enjoyed being tied up, simple!

Bondage seemed simple, I would restrain someone in some way, and then do something pleasurable to them. However, it then became complicated by those partners who wanted pain mixed with their pleasure. What made it even more difficult was the fact that I found myself enjoying causing that pain!

Suddenly I discovered that when I was causing someone pain a third person entered the room.

I discovered this third person quite by accident while exploring my sadism. I would be playing with someone, we would be exploring an element of sadism and often they would be asking for more. I would be wanting to do more, but then the third person would butt in and throw questions at me!

“Are you sure she is actually enjoying it?”

“What if you hit too hard, or in the wrong place?”

“Is it really okay to enjoy this?”

“Should she be enjoying this, maybe there is something wrong with her and I am taking advantage?”

This third person gave voice to all the insecurities of someone new to the responsibilities of being a top. It was the voice of someone who had not been educated about the nuances of consent. It was the voice of my other self, the one that doubted me and even judged me.

At first I was angered by these intrusions. They interrupted my flow, made me second guess not just myself but also my partners. I wanted to ignore it, but the more I tried to ignore it the louder this third person got.

After ignoring it didn’t work I realised I had to engage with it and that is when I learnt the most important lesson: This voice can work for us, or against us.

We do want to approach sadism gently, for our sake and for the sake of others. When we first start to walk we are prone to falling over, it is the gate at the stairs, the hand that catches us, the sofa we cling on to, all of these are the things that stop us from hurting ourselves too much when we first start. We take things slowly because we are made to, we don’t know any better yet.

That voice, that third person, is a caring voice, it is encouraging us to stay safe, and by extension keep safe those who we are with. We do not need to treat it as an antagonist but there comes a time when we do have to be firm with it.

There is a time when we can walk, run, dance and the stair gate is now just in our way, the hand that once caught us is holding us back. We need to be able to turn to that third person and recognise that it has helped us, it has kept us from hurting ourselves, but in a firm voice we have to declare that we have outgrown it.

We can only be comfortable with who we are when we are able to reconcile with that voice, to tame it and take it inside. Let it become caution, not doubt, let it be experience, not questioning.

Grow with your third voice, learn from it, but also take control of it.

Sadism is not bad, hurting people is not bad, causing someone to scream is not bad, when we do it with fellow consenting adults! That is the mantra that eventually tamed my third voice. Everytime the old questions would come up I could now answer them.

“Are you sure she is actually enjoying it?”

Yes. I trust the person I am playing with, I trust that they have told me the truth. I know we went through her Yes/No/Maybe list.

“What if you hit too hard, or in the wrong place?”

Then I will apologise, I will make sure she is okay and I will try to be more careful. I will also practice more so that I don’t make the same mistake.

“Is it really okay to enjoy this?”

Yes. I am an adult playing with another adult. My responsibility is to us, and only us. I don’t need to justify what I enjoy to any outside element.

“Should she be enjoying this, maybe there is something wrong with her and I am taking advantage?”

No, I am not taking advantage. We have sought each other out because of a common interest and the fact that we reflect each other’s kinks.

I had to learn the answers to these questions and practice answering them every time they came up. Until the third person piped up less often, and finally not at all.

Satisfying that third person is what can let us focus on what is really important when being a sadist; the two people in the scene, you and your partner. Those questions are no longer a distraction, we know the answers and give them before the voice can even ask. The questions have become part of the mental checklist of care that we run through proactively before a scene.

We don’t fight the voice, rather we find what is valuable in it and make it a positive thing for us and our partners.

I am now grateful for the voice that expressed all those concerns. In fact I would be more concerned if I didn’t have them at the beginning. The fact that I had those doubts, those worries, reassures me if I ever think that having morals, caring about people, wanting good things for others, is incompatible with being a sadist.

I do not need to be perfect to be a good sadist, and I don’t need to be perfect to be a good person. I am imperfect and have lots to learn, but I have learnt that I can be a sadist and a good person.

So back to you my fellow sadists, you are good people who do “bad” things with others, and they love us for it. Be “bad, be “cruel”, be “wicked” and then give your play partner a great big hug after and feel good about it.

Will Hunt has been involved in the UK kink scene for the last 10 years; running clubs, teaching workshops, performing and generally encouraging naughty behavior wherever possible.
https://fetlife.com/users/2976273

Spank Me Like You Mean It: A Guide To Impact Play

October 24, 2020 By Will Hunt 2 Comments

sexy male Dom with crop — via stock.adobe.com

There are many wonderful activities associated with BDSM. If you have a kink you can probably find a thriving community online to discuss it, learn more about it and be introduced to nuances of play that may never have occurred to you in isolation. It can also be reassuring to know that you aren’t alone in your kink. However strange you might think you are, there are going to be people out there who will accept you.

In this article I want to discuss a type of play which is for many people their first “toe dip” into the wider world of BDSM; spanking. For many of us it is our first experience of doing something that we are told is supposed to cause pain, which we are taught is a bad thing, but actually we find our partner enjoys, which we know is a good thing.

Spanking falls under a wider catagory of corporal punishment, otherwise known as CP play. While spanking almost exclusively refers to the use of an open hand to strike the bottom it can also involve the use of implements; paddles, floggers, canes, etc…

Spanking does not require a huge amount of equipment, in fact it can all be done with just a hand, a partner’s bottom, and a knee for them to lay over. It is a cheap, fun activity that we can enjoy for years to come.

The first thing we want to consider when planning a spanking are the same things we should plan before any scene (so it is good to get into the habit now). We want to know our partners limits, their safeword, and any issues we should be aware of.

We are going to break down a spanking into distinct sections so we can understand what is happening, and explore each part that makes up the whole. We shall look at: where is it going to happen, how are they going to be positioned, what is going to be used, what is the objective, and how will aftercare be managed?

Where?

We start by planning where it will happen because an oft overlooked side effect of a spanking is the noise produced. Not only the potential sounds of our partner, but also the constant noise of the spanking itself. The sound of a bare hand on a naked arse should not be underestimated.

Imagine how annoyed you would be if your neighbor started clapping rhythmically for 40 minutes while occasionally screaming unexpectedly!

While it is not always possible to rent a dungeon or attend a play event we can try to be considerate and think about the noise we will be making and if it could become an issue for others.

How?

Once we have decided where we are playing our next consideration should be how our partner will position themselves. We should be aware of their comfort, and how their position will change the play area, in this case the surface of their butt and back of the thighs.

Hopefully your partner will have a position they find most comfortable, some like to lie flat on a bed, others prefer to be kneeling, or held over a knee. Overall our goal is to find a position which is comfortable and can be held for a prolonged time. Our objective is to spank our partner, not to have them develop cramp in their calf, or a sore back.

Depending on how our partner is positioned we may find that the surface tension of the bottom may change. Laying flat allows for muscles to relax and as a result you might find that they ripple more on impact, while bent over a bench you might find their muscles are more contracted, giving a firmer surface. For some this will translate into a stingier or thudier type of sensation, something we shall cover in more details shortly.

What?

Get them comfortable and then you can think about how you are going to spank them. Most types of impact fall into one of two categories, thudy or stingy. Most people have a distinct preference for the type of sensation so it is important that we understand the type of sensation our toys inflict.

There are lots of things we can use before we have to go shopping for kink specific toys. A wooden spoon from the kitchen, a slipper from the shoe rack, a belt from the wardrobe. It is important that we know what we are working with before we start flailing around at someone’s bottom. Using your forearm you can usually practice a few strikes to get the feel of the implement and the type of sensation it elicits.

As a rule of thumb you will find that the further the point of impact is from the handle the more difficult the implement is to use reliably. So hitting the same place repeatedly with your hand is reasonably guaranteed, while hitting the same place repeatedly with a 6 foot single tail is much harder. We definitely want to start easy and make sure to spend plenty of time learning before using more difficult implements.

Most implements fall into the two sensation categories below.

Stingy: Thin canes, light floggers, quick hand slaps, light paddles, single tails…

Thudy: Thick canes, heavy floggers, heavy hand slaps, thick paddles, leather belts…

For a more stingy sensation you want to strike quickly with almost a flicking motion. This can serve to intensify the inherently stingy nature of the implement, or even add a stingy sensation to a thudy implement.

For a more thudy sensation you want to land the blow with a solid impact and press. Almost as if you are striking through the surface and holding it in place. This can help deepen the pressure of a thudy tool, or even to lessen the stingy sensation of a lighter toy.

Objective?

We want to understand the types of sensation our partner enjoys. This serves us well if we want to let them enjoy a scene based around sensations, and is just as important if we want to be sadistic. The better we understand our partners ability to process different sensations the better we are able to take them on an experiential journey.

A spanking scene can be a transcendental experience, the constant, steady impacts become a drum beat by which the bottom can drift off into something often referred to as “sub space”. Or it can be a brutal punishment the bottom cannot escape from and eventually can only surrender to. These are just two possible goals, but are almost diametrically opposed, so we should be sure that both of us know what type of scene we want to have.

Aftercare?

It is extremely important that we consider what we shall do for the bottom after the scene. Physically and mentally we need to help them settle again.

You will often find that your partner is not in state to coherently explain their needs after a spanking scene, so it is our responsibility to have had this conversation in advance. Before we begin we should discuss the type of aftercare they commonly need, and have it prepared for them.

This can be physical; blankets, drinks, sweets, and it can also be more mental; verbal reassurance, physical closeness. Have whatever you need close at hand and be prepared to spend as long as is needed helping your partner to recover.

Now what?

We have explored a little of what is involved in a spanking, but there is so so much more. For many of us this might be our first experience of physical BDSM, but that doesn’t mean it is something we grow out of, or lacks nuance. There are lots of ways of playing with spanking, and lots of ways to engage in it.

Spanking, and the wider category of CP, fits quite easily into many types of play. Spending time learning how to spank, paddle, cane, flog and whip is well worth the investment. With practice you can learn to make a cane deliver a range of sensations and drive your partner into states of agony or ecstasy.

If you get to know your local community you will hopefully be able to find skilled kink educators who will be able to give you some hands-on experience. Different techniques and different tools are best tried with someone experienced in their use. I encourage you to get hands on experience and teaching wherever you can. Never be afraid to learn, we should all actively seek out those more experienced to learn from and improve our abilities.

We are building up our skills so we can explore with partners. While we can learn lots for them, we will also learn the most from them. Everything we learn is so that we can better take a journey together.

Simple Ideas for Playing with Male Bottoms

October 17, 2020 By Dame TylerRose. 4 Comments

mistress dominating male slave on leash — via stock.adobe.com

Creativity is one of the most important attributes I’ve seen common among sadists.

A checklist is great, but it doesn’t tell you how to actually DO things. When you’re new, the how of doing things is very important. First and foremost, the bottom and I go over my toy kit and *theirs*. We both agree on and set out items we want to use. One of the bottoms I play with sets out his items and understands that I will use what I choose to use.

What to do and how to do it:

Using the Leash for things OTHER than leading him around — The loop end of a leash can be used as very simple cock bondage, especially once he’s hard. Give it a tug whenever you want. A fabric leash can be pulled up a few inches and put into his mouth.

Tie the dick up with rope and attach a chain leash from collar to cock. Tap on the chain with a hard cane or wooden spoon. Slide a cane up and down it to send vibrations through the chain. Pull the chain up and to the side to position the cock however you want to move it out of the way when whipping the thighs with a quirt.

Wartenberg Wheels — I’ve found I’m very good with wartenberg wheels. Most people might use them for a few seconds and move on to something else. I turn them into a half hour scene in and of themselves. I run those things all over the body. Up and down the undersides of his arms (including armpits), over the shoulders, around the neck, down his sides, around his back/thighs/buttocks, and eventually over his cock and balls, down the inner thighs. Everywhere I can reach. I almost always use one in each hand, mirroring each other as they roll, and going into the more sensitive areas after he’s been warmed up for a few minutes.

If he likes clamps on the nipples, I’ll attach them after ten or fifteen minutes and run the wheels around his pectorals.

Clamps with weights — I do this very gently. Just buy 2oz, 4 oz (etc) sinkers from a tackle shop and S hooks to put on them. They hook very easily over clover clamps or the finger loops of forceps style clamps. Some like to have the clamps tapped. Gentle is enough. Minute increases in pain can be HUGE on the receiving end. People watching don’t think I’m doing much, but the bottom is all but dancing on his toes for me.

Clothespins can go anywhere on the body that you can pull up a pinch of skin. You don’t need to smack them off. I don’t do that unless it’s a special request of the bottom. Line up along the pectorals on both sides of the areola, leaving the nipples free. Tug, twist, tap to your heart’s content. Tap with the handle of a wooden spoon. Tease the nipples. Play them like a xylophone. lol When you take them off, the pec is then hyper-sensitive to do all those other things I mentioned.

Ball Gags – I don’t usually use them, as I want very clear communication during play. However, if a guy is making facial expressions I don’t care for, wagging his tongue out, or saying words I don’t want to hear, I will pick up his ball gag and plop it into his mouth. There’s no need to engage the buckle. I expect he understands that he’s to keep it in his mouth until I remove it.

Finger Nubbies – Anyone who’s worked in an office with lots of paper has seen little rubber finger tips for friction when sorting through paper. They are fantastic sensation toys, and don’t cost a lot. Put one on an index finger and thumb and you have a new way to tease and pinch.

Extra Hands – When I’ve got a guy cuffed to the X, I at once have an extra pair of hands to hold things for me. I’ll give him a flogger to hold until I need it, or the wartenberg wheels. It makes for a humorous visual for the people watching, and keeps him present. He can’t go completely into his own head because he has to keep enough focus to hold onto the object.

Cock and ball torture — Quantify what he means by CBT. Saying he doesn’t like it doesn’t explain what he doesn’t like. What is it that he doesn’t like? Grabbing and twisting? Okay. Don’t twist his dick. It’s as simple as that.

Pelvic Caning — Every dude who has agreed to have his cock/pelvic region caned has liked what I do. I don’t need to hit hard to get reactions…and those reactions are fairly obvious. I’ve not caned one to ejaculation yet, but a couple have gotten close. Mild tap tap tapping up and down the length of a flaccid cock quickly leads to an erection. I have a black cane that is fairly stiff but still a bit flexible. It bounces off the surface and isn’t as brutal as my fiberglass rods. I use a short motion with my hand, aiming for the surface and without follow-through. Don’t swing like you’re chopping down a tree. You’re not going for maximum impact, but surface sting and thud. He’s going to have bruising and will need to piss in the coming days, so less is more.

I whap a little harder on the meat of the area just above the cock. Front of the thighs, including the penis as it hangs, and you may find him leaning back to assist in getting the angle and strike zone he likes best.

I like to include the inner thighs as well, and the scrotum. Front or back doesn’t make much difference to me. Moderate whapping back and forth from thigh to thigh, zinging across the very bottom of the scrotum in the process, has been a favorite with the men. It gives them the sting and burn of an inner thigh caning with the surprise impact to the balls in both directions.

Don’t be too relentless, however. Five or six up strokes up high, then move the cane down or move to a different area entirely.

If the back is facing you — I’ve told each of them that if they stick it out, I’m gonna hit it. Every man at once angled himself to better present his balls. You can strike across both thighs and the scrotum at the same time. Again, don’t swing like you’re chopping down a tree. You don’t want to rupture a testicle.

Managing the Bottom – One of the most important aspects of play is knowing when to back off a moment and let the bottom catch his breath. You can’t go intense intense intense every second. Varying sensations between mild and intense, back to mild, up to moderate, down to mild, up to intense creates a rollercoaster ride of pleasures. Know when to pause for a moment and give him (and yourself) a drink. A scene including everything from above will easily last an hour or more. Pause two or three times for a drink and a breath. I always stop before they’re completely spent. Leave them wanting more rather than regretting going one minute too long.

Station Clean Up — I don’t play in private, so this is all happening at a party. One of us wipes down the station he was attached to. If he’s got some wits about him, he does it. If he’s too zonked, I do it. I clean and put away my stuff while he cleans and puts away his stuff, or puts away his stuff for later cleaning. Whatever. It’s his kit.

What about aftercare??? – I know, right? I totally worked hard. I deserve some after care. First, I’m going to sit and watch him attempt to put his clothes on. It’s most entertaining and satisfying, watching a grown man rendered down to a puddle of endorphic goo, incapable of dressing himself. It’s the best part.

Then I’ll tell him to give me a shoulder and arm massage. If we’re at a sex/SM combo party, I’ll go get laid with some other guy. I don’t have sex with the bottoms I play with.

I’ll follow up with Tylenol through the next day, and a nice warm shower, to ease sore muscles.

The bottom will do whatever it is that he does after he gets home. I’m sure masturbation will be part of his routine, but I could be wrong. I won’t be there for any of it.

What other people choose to do when they are finished is between them.

TylerRose. is known as Dame Tyler in the NYC public SM/Fetish scene. She is an award-winning author who has written three “lifestyle”, four cartoon, and over 25 fiction books.

Read her books on her Amazon page — https://www.amazon.com/TylerRose./e/B00HCPLSP2

You can also find more of her OP/ED work in Fetlife: https://fetlife.com/users/305828
Twitter — https://twitter.com/DameTyler or @DameTyler
FB Fan Page — https://www.facebook.com/TylerRoseGethis/

She enjoys crocheting and baking, and will no doubt die with a thesaurus open on her thigh.

Video: Flogging 101

October 10, 2020 By Depraved Eros 2 Comments

Interested in flogging? Like impact? New to the Scene and want to experiment?

Then this video is perfect for you!

This week Depraved Eros gives the ins and out of flogging including best types of floggers and safety tips!

Check it out now!

Flogging 101 How To and Types of Floggers BDSM for Beginners

Watch this video on YouTube

This week in kink: October 5, 2020

October 4, 2020 By Dexx 2 Comments

It’s a sad week for the Los Angeles BDSM community, with Justine Cross announcing the closing of her Dungeon West location as of October 15. Long a favorite for private play parties, Pro Domme sessions and photo shoots, the impact of COVID on such activities has translated into a huge hit on revenue to cover the costs of the venue.

Please see Justine’s tweet below with ways that you can offer her your support, including coming to her closing down sale.

Note that her other location, Dungeon East (in Downtown Los Angeles), will remain open.

.@dungeonwest is closing!

Please support us by:

1. Renting: You have until 10/15 to rent @DungeonWest!
2. Coming to our sale: https://t.co/Qe2vCuuZKc
3. RT/liking/sharing this post.

Thank you for 8 amazing, award-winning years! pic.twitter.com/f84Iwaep3U
— Justine Cross (@justineplays) October 5, 2020

Can you get a natural high from BDSM?

A recent study compares the euphoria of BDSM to that of a long distance runner’s high!

Click below to find out more! This article is brought to you by Dazed!

E.L James, author of Fifty Shades of Grey, is surpised that her book has become so popular.

Despite Fifty Shades being a controversial book in the Kink Community, it’s refreshing to read about the author’s humility and down to Earth demeanour.

Click below to read more from Cinema Blend!

Meet Sarah Keller/Calea Toxic- former police officer turned Dominatrix.

Read her riveting story about how she spent years moonlighting as a Dominatrix due to being inspired by sex workers she met on the job.

Now she is a full time Domme and loving life!

Click below to read more from yahoo! lifestyle!

Have some kinky news to share? Tell us about any upcoming BDSM events, new products, dungeon openings / closings, kink in mainstream media, and anything else you think kinky folks might be interested to hear about. Send your tips through to kinkweekly@gmail.com, and it might just end up on next week’s “This Week in Kink.”

The Emotional Side Of Masochism

September 26, 2020 By Joji Sada 3 Comments

I am an emotional masochist.

I want to break down the negative connotations to what my statement means.

Traditionally, emotional masochists are those who feel unworthy of respect. They tend to find themselves in situations that are toxically abusive because they feel they deserve it. It has been said that there are some who crave the abuse they receive. Whether this is a conscious or unconscious desire, it is often all they know.

Growing up, and into my early twenties, I was one of those individuals. I went out of my way for people who would rather spit on me then speak a kind word. I challenged my own ethics and morals because someone wanted something and “a good friend would help them.” I’ve used the façade of laughter to cover the cracks in my self-esteem because if those I call friends don’t respect me, why would anyone else?

I come from a loving family. I was not abused growing up. However, I was deeply insecure and the pressure to be perfect was often overwhelming. And I made mistakes that took me years to be comfortable enough to talk about. I skipped eating and restricted my food to the point that I now suffer from constant stomach issues. I carved my pain into my skin and the words of my insecurities are still visible to this day. I controlled my emotions to the point that I can, and have, physically disconnect/short circuit my connections to people.

These were decisions that bled heavily into my relationships. And it defined the development of my BDSM. I did not understand negotiating because my needs/wants don’t matter. I did not understand communication because if they were angry it must mean they didn’t love me. I didn’t understand that having an opinion did not make me a bad partner. I didn’t understand jealousy because any attention my partner showed me “should be enough.”

Essentially, I did not understand BDSM.

So, I connected to what I did understand. I could learn the proper poses for a submissive. I could learn the expectations of a Dominant. I could be of service.

After all, no one throws out something useful.

I spent most of my life pleasing others with little regard for myself. Even now, I struggle with the idea that I need to take care of myself with as much care as I do my partners.

With what I’ve told you, it makes it hard to believe that I am proud to be an emotional masochist.

What I have learned first and foremost, I can be whatever I want to be.

I can change the things I don’t like.

So, I’ve changed the definition of emotional masochism.

Masochist: Someone who derives pleasure from physical pain, with or without the involvement of sex.

Emotional Masochist: Someone who derives pleasure from deeply emotional play, such as through means of humiliation, degradation, fear, or consensual non-consent.

I should specify that I do love a good beating. I enjoy the use of a variety of toys used upon my person at a varying degree of intensity. I enjoy pushing my limits and my body from time to time. I enjoy enticing my Sadist into staying creative and keeping me guessing.

But I love being mind-fucked more.

These are the moments that leave me feeling like I’ve run a marathon without ever getting up from my knees.

I find humiliation to be a liberating experience. Outside of my dynamic, I refuse to allow anyone to treat me in such a way. Often, in the vanilla world, humiliation is done maliciously. In our world, it is done with care and understanding.

I can face the demons that haunt me. I can seal the cracks in my self-esteem. I can be strong and weak at the same time. I can cry my frustration out. I can growl in anger and defiance without disrespect. I can bare my soul and explore the parts of me I’ve been told should never see daylight.

I can proudly identify as a submissive, a masochist (physically and emotionally), and a piggie.

I cannot change the years of emotional chaos I put up with long ago. I cannot change the individuals who whole-heartedly took advantage of me with no remorse. I cannot change what I allowed to happen.

So, instead, I have chosen to grow from it. I have chosen to challenge it. I have chosen to revel in it.

And I am proudly an emotional masochist.

My name is Joji. I am 29 years old currently and I have been in and around the kink community about 15 years.I am a collared submissive to Magick42. I am also a Daddy to a wonderful babygirl, and have been for more than three years now and I find it very fulfilling. I am being mentored in and being taught electroplay. I am a masochist at heart and thoroughly love impact play, especially caning. I enjoy reading anything I can get my hands on and am a die hard Harry Potter and Doctor Who fan. I am also the secretary for a group in Idaho called Moscow S.P.A.R.K.E (Simply Providing Another Route to Kink Education). It is our mission to teach safe practices to those new to the community and give them a safe haven to ask questions and learn without judgement. We accept all kinks and all we ask in return is respect between all our members.

Erotica: Photo Session

September 12, 2020 By Christmas Bunny 2 Comments

wet woman in white tank top — via stock.adobe.com

Mona shifted her bag nervously from hand to hand. She’d been crushing on this particular photographer since first seeing her work shared on Instagram. She did gorgeous erotic sessions as well as marketing shoots for local kink vendors, and their recent casual friendship had Mona hoping for more. They’d negotiated boundaries for this shoot more thoroughly than Mona ever recalled negotiating pick-up play scenes, but even so, she was nervous, and a tight ball of anticipation rested low in her stomach.

An assistant finally answered the door, escorting Mona back to the photographer’s lair in the back of the house. They had a partial water setup included today, and Mona’s steps quickened as she wondered how it would go.

Innocently was the best word for the first half hour. The assistant busied himself, occasionally disappearing for several minutes at a time, while the photographer set her equiment for a test shoot. Brusquely, she asked Mona to take her place to begin the session. “Panties?” she asked. Mona blushed a little and squeezed her knees together, shaking her head in the negative. “Good, you followed instructions,” came the distracted response as the shutter began to click, capturing the alluring combination of embarassment and arousal.

“Now flirt with me,” came the first instruction. Mona looked puzzled and began to open her mouth when the photographer stopped her. “With your body,” she clarified.

Mona leaned back onto her hands, dancing her knees slightly apart, flashing glimpses of bare cunt under an indecently short dress. The photographer clicked the shutter quickly, adjusting position around Mona as she worked.

“Harder nipples,” came the next command. Mona pinched them through her skater-style dress, but despite the coolness of the studio space, they didn’t harden.

“Can you help me?” Mona asked shyly. The photographer silently handed the camera to her assistant, who continued shooting photos as she kneeled next to Mona, pinching her nipples roughly and plucking at the bars in them. Mona found herself shifting with the beginnings of arousal, but her pierced nipples remained uncooperative.

With a small noise of frustration, the photographer bent her head and placed her mouth directly on the stubborn buds. The sucking came hard and immediate, and Mona’s nipples began to respond. The photographer bit solidly behind the bar, and that took Mona’s nipples the rest of the way to rock-hard. She moaned quietly into her closed mouth, trying to maintain some degrees of professionalism despite the hungry mouth on her nipple. She vaugely heard the shutter clicking as her head fell back and she wantonly pressed the nipple more firmly into the photographer’s mouth. “That ought to do it,” the photographer said, distantly, reclaiming the camera from the assistant, who had been shooting photos the whole time she’d worked up some decently sized wet patches on the font of Mona’s dress.

Mona rubbed her bare thighs together slightly, immagining that mouth a little lower. Another command came, “Turn over and offer me sex without speaking a word.” Mona shyly raised to her knees, dress still ruffled from her earlier shifting. She played with the hem of her dress, teasingly flashing even longer glimpses of bare pussy than before. Mona dropped to hands and knees, the skirt hitching up over bare ass, totally exposing her. She arched her back and slid her knees slightly apart, teasing with what she had heard was quite a lovely bare cunt. She reached a hand back and covered it briefly, glancing flirtatiously at the photographer from over her shoulder, then took a slap of opportunity, the sound of bare skin being slapped ruined by moisture already pooling under her hand. With a flush, she quickly withdrew the hand, sitting back on her heels and letting her knees slide outwards until she rested her pussy almost on the floor, still glancing back over her shouder every so often. The shutter clicked furiously as the photographer recorded each moment.

“Such a wet little pussy,” she murmured. “I can see it from here. Take the dress off and show me that body, naughty girl.”

Fuck. Mona had already been turned on, but being called a naughty girl just hit the accelerator on her excitement. She slowly pulled the dress off over her head, the flush of arousal evident between her legs. The photographer shot photos from all the angles, being sure to capture Mona’s swollen cunt.

She handed the camera off again. “Are you ready for the fun part?” she asked. Mona nodded her continued consent as the photographer held one finger up menacingly, then dropped it down to touch Mona’s clit lightly. The whirr of the shutter continued as the photographer expertly rubbed wetness into every crevice of Mona’s wet little slit, and she rocked her hips against the finger in response. “Lay back,” came the next command, and she obeyed with haste. A tongue began firmly probing Mona’s clit, and she began to see stars. The photographer began adding spanks and slaps, creating ripples of flesh. She reached a hand out as if demanding something, and didn’t stop what she was doing until an object was placed there. She began using a crop on Mona’s ass and thighs, mouth still pleasuring the wet little nub at her core.

The crop must have had a special handle. Its direction was reversed and slid into Mona, and in that manner she was alternately spanked and fucked with the handle until she was crying for release. Mona trembled and made glorious sounds at her treatment, not daring to believe she was finally in the hands of her idol, with hours left to come.

impact play

Footer