• Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
  • Home
  • About
  • New to kink?
    • Articles for beginners
  • Contribute
  • BDSM Buying Guide

Kink Weekly

BDSM articles ideas bondage erotica resource

Home » sado-masochist

sado-masochist

This week in kink: January 18, 2021

January 17, 2021 By Desdemona 2 Comments

This week Shireen Khalil writes about Sherry Lever, a 69 year old, thriving Dominatrix.

It’s true that age is just a number!

Click below to read more of Sherry’s riveting story!


BDSM has gotten more exposure over the years.

Whether you like the show or not, the Netflix show, Bonding is bringing BDSM and sex work more into the public eye.

With this being said, Showbiz CheatSheet, exposes the inner workings of this series.

Click below to find out more!

‘Bonding’: A Look at the True Story Behind Netflix’s Dominatrix Comedy

yahoo lifestyle! reports that BDSM is the most popular kink with folks over 60.

BDSM is definitely not reserved for the youngsters! Anyone and everyone is welcome!

Click below to read more about these intriguing findings!


Have some kinky news to share? Tell us about any upcoming BDSM events, new products, dungeon openings / closings, kink in mainstream media, and anything else you think kinky folks might be interested to hear about. Send your tips through to kinkweekly@gmail.com, and it might just end up on next week’s “This Week in Kink.”

Tagged With: bdsm, bdsm play, bdsm relationship, bdsm scene, consensual, consent, fetish, masochism, sadism, sado-masochist, sadomasochism, sex, Sex Work Community, sex worker rights, sex workers, sexual fantasy, sexual safety

How To Use A Wooden Spoon On Yourself

November 7, 2020 By Dame TylerRose. 2 Comments

sexy power exchange couple, submissive blindfolded
via stock.adobe.com

I frequently see questions about how to play by one’s self. In this day and age of plague, it’s particularly important to take care of our own needs. I have always been able to do so, not relying on a partner to give me the pleasures I like most.

This second self-play article will cover an easy impact technique anyone can use. 

First, get a wooden spoon from the kitchen if you don’t already have one in your play kit. 

Sitting upright is easiest for reaching most of the body. Start wherever you like. I’ll describe an easy sequence that starts with the inner thighs.

Experiment with how to hold the spoon. Tight isn’t always the most advantageous. If you hold it loosely and allow the spoon to swing an arc of several inches, you’ll get more pain out of its inertia than the strength of your arm.

I don’t do one hard whap at a time. I let it swing and strike over and over and over, rapidly but with moderate force. This builds up the stinging sensation. When I get a hit that is at my upper range, I move to the other thigh. 

Ranging to the outside of the thigh changes the sensation significantly. The outer is used to be rubbed against clothing. The inner is more sensitive.

Moving up the belly, yes you can strike on the belly. You’re not going to hit hard enough to do any damage. Up to the breasts/pectorals. Men may find they really enjoy impact to the chest.

You can reach over your shoulders as well, to your upper back. Leaning to one side, you can strike your own buttocks and down the length of the back of your thigh. Lean the other direction to get the other side.

You can turn the spoon around and hold the scoop and use the stick end to strike. This changes both the impact sensation and the concentration of pain.

If you find yourself aroused, get a dildo or jack yourself as you would during any other masturbatory session.

I’ve given myself quite a lot of pain stimulation. A great deal of pleasure. I’ve almost never given myself bruises. Bruises have never been the point of my self-play. Any redness has always been gone within a couple hours.

Self-play isn’t necessarily about getting your extreme pain needs met. To me, it’s about obtaining my perfect level of pleasure; getting myself off; satisfying my immediate arousal.


TylerRose. is known as Dame Tyler in the NYC public SM/Fetish scene. She is an award-winning author who has written two “lifestyle”, four cartoon, and over 25 fiction books.

Read her books on her Amazon page — https://www.amazon.com/TylerRose./e/B00HCPLSP2

You can also find more of her OP/ED work in Fetlife: https://fetlife.com/users/305828

FB Fan Page — https://www.facebook.com/TylerRoseGethis/

Twitter — https://twitter.com/DameTyler or @DameTyler

She enjoys crocheting and baking, and will no doubt die with a thesaurus open on her thigh.

Tagged With: bdsm, fetish, impact play, kink, masochism, power exchange, sadism, sado-masochist, sadomasochism

A Masochist is Not Necessarily a Submissive

September 13, 2016 By Baadmaster 3 Comments

Photo by www.viceerotica.com
Photo by www.viceerotica.com

“A masochist is not necessarily a submissive; a sadist is not necessarily a Dom.”

Perhaps no other words evoke such debate about our lifestyle as “sadist” and “masochist.” And before the (in this case, positive) influence of “Fifty Shades of Grey,” anytime one said they were into BDSM, the usual vanilla retort was, “So, you beat your partner.” Sadism, until recently, seems to have trumped all other perceptions of our world. Still, no matter how you soft peddle it, “sadism” and “masochism” are part of BDSM. After all, they are the “S” and the “M” in our lifestyle-descriptive acronym.

Before we examine the role of sadism and masochism in the D/s dynamic, let’s briefly define the two terms. (As if you didn’t already know this!)

Sadism is defined as sexual pleasure or gratification derived from the infliction of pain upon another person. Masochism is defined as sexual pleasure or gratification derived from having pain inflicted upon oneself.
Sadism and masochism usually go hand-in-hand because, duh!, a sadist needs a masochist; it is the basis of S&M or sadomasochism. Until the more wide-ranging acronym of BDSM was adapted, the term S&M was the popular way to label our lifestyle.
We have often stated, in previous kinkweekly.com articles, that the key to finding a D/s partner is to look for someone who has Dominant or submissive needs similar to your own. However, many people, especially newbies, mistake a masochist for a submissive. Nothing could be farther from the truth. A masochist needs pain for his/her gratification. But, the masochist might not have the slightest need to submit in any way, shape or form – other than in the narrow sense of bottoming for a sadistic Top. When one sees an S&M couple playing in a dungeon, it is easy to assume that the masochist is the sadist’s slave or submissive. It sure looks like that. But, it could just as easily be a temporary intersection of needs rather than a true exchange of power. The same could hold true for the psychological masochist who craves humiliation; there need not be an overall Dom/sub dynamic in this coupling. As stated in the introduction, a masochist is not necessarily a submissive, nor is a sadist necessarily a Dom/me.

This distinction is critical if you are a Dominant looking for a submissive, or vice versa. You should first ascertain whether your potential submissive is looking for a Dom/me or is just searching for some masochistic thrills. Thus, your first question should be, “Are you looking for a Dominant?” rather than, “Are you into pain?”

In my opinion, the purpose of your initial negotiations should be to find out if you are on the same page D/s-wise. Is it a Dom/sub relationship you both seek or is it a sado-masochistic play relationship you want? You should not assume that just because a masochist is willing to “submit” to you in play, that he/she can submit to you in a larger context. He/she might or might not. Do not assume.

Once you establish that the person is desirous of a D/s relationship, then you can quantify the S&M aspects of your partner. You can ask him/her whether he/she is into light or heavy pain and what he/she thinks the role of pain is in his/her BDSM life. Interview, ask and negotiate.

The sado-masochistic interaction is one of the most intense experiences in our lifestyle. It can be a basis of a very bonding relationship. But, it exists on its own terms. It does not necessarily imply an overall power exchange.

Once you understand that the sado-masochistic interaction can be a stand-alone affair, you can see where you are on the D/s continuum and judge any prospective partners accordingly. After all, the more you know about the other person, and the less you assume, the more likely you will find your perfect partner.

By BaadMaster
After a ten year run as head writer for the legendary bondage.com, and an equally long run as the host of the hit internet show “Baadmaster’s Dungeon,” we are pleased to welcome the one and only Baadmaster to KinkWeekly. His thoughts about all things BDSM will now appear regularly on these pages. From the mental aspects of D/s to the nuts and bolts of S&M play, Baadmaster will cover every facet of this ever expanding lifestyle.

Tagged With: masochism, masochist, sado-masochist

Primary Sidebar

Don’t miss out!

Get an email each week when new editions are online
We won't spam you, and you can
easily unsubscribe at any time

Sale – today only

Bondage kinks coffee mug

Put a smile on your face each morning

Support Kink Weekly on Patreon!

Become a Patron!

Help keep us online and get
epic good karma (and no ads)

Already a supporter? We love you! Visit here to enable ad-free browsing.

Get

Versatile bondage straps (locking)

Contribute

Want to feature your writing or photography on Kink Weekly? Are you an BDSM/sex expert or professional, and interested in being quoted in an article? Contact us

Archives

sexy blonde Domme with male submissive in straitjacket

Simple Mummification Fun!

By PirateStan Leave a Comment

Learn helpful mummification techniques in this week’s edition!

shibari male submissive bound

Why Excellent Submission Can Be Remarkably Illusive

By Ms. RikaLeave a Comment

Dive deep into submission with Ms. Rika in this week’s edition!

Footer

18 U.S.C. 2257 record keeping compliance statement
Always play
Safe Sane and Consensual

Copyright © 2023 · News Pro On Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in