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This week in kink: February 22, 2021

February 20, 2021 By Dexx 2 Comments

Be sure to check out PV Chat, a movie about a gambler who falls in love with a Dominatrix.

Click below to learn more about the film from Dazed!

PVT Chat: an erotic drama peeping into a scuzzy, sweet cam girl obsession
Director Ben Hozie discusses his psychosexual semi-thriller about a lonely gambler whose life is thrown into disarray when he falls for a dominatrix
Dazed | Dazed

Daily news explains that France wants to set the age of consent to 15.

This would legalize folks 18+ being able to sexually engage with minors 15 and over.

Click below to read more.

France seeks to set age of sexual consent at 15 amid growing public pressure
“An act of sexual penetration by an adult on a minor under 15 will be considered a rape."
nydailynews.com | Muri Assunção

CNN shares that Utah refused to pass a bill that would require consent be taught in sex education classes.

Click below to learn more.

Utah lawmakers reject a bill that would require teaching consent in sex education classes
A new bill in Utah that would have required students to learn about consent was shot down by lawmakers this week.
CNN | Leah Asmelash, CNN

Have some kinky news to share? Tell us about any upcoming BDSM events, new products, dungeon openings / closings, kink in mainstream media, and anything else you think kinky folks might be interested to hear about. Send your tips through to kinkweekly@gmail.com, and it might just end up on next week’s “This Week in Kink.”

Tagged With: bdsm, bdsm community, bdsm relationship, bdsm scene, consent, dominatrix, fetish, kink, sex, Sex Work Community, sex worker rights, sex workers

An Excerpt From Mira O’Hart’s Erotic Novel “Master & Slave” – Book 1 The Sale

January 24, 2021 By Mira OHart 2 Comments

sexy Domme with whip
via stock.adobe.com

***all works of erotica are fictional. We NEVER condone anything that is not consensual

***This work takes place in a fictional world where slavery is legal (sort of like Gor). This work is for fantasy purposes only and is not an accurate portrayal of a BDSM relationship.


What surprised him was the feel of cold metal around his wrist. Shackled. She was chaining him. This was going to be bad. He gripped the headboard more tightly. When she closed the second cuff he buried his head in the goose down pillow. He would bite it if he had to. Punishment should be suffered with grace, dignity and humility. What exactly he was being punished for he couldn’t hazard a guess.

By the fifth stroke he was biting the pillow – to keep from laughing with relief. It was not the club, but a leather riding crop. Yes, it stung; he would have marks, but it was so much better than the club. He would gladly kneel for her after this and kiss her tiny feet for this small gesture of mercy.

She stopped abruptly. He thought maybe it was over. She came up beside him. Jessie ran her hand lightly over his back, over the red marks and welts. She slipped her hand under him and pulled at the fastening of his jeans. He lifted himself to assist her. The sturdy denim was not the defense against the lash that she must assume it to be, but if she insisted on whipping him naked, it was not his place to refuse. He saw no purpose in her removing his underwear as well, except perhaps to humiliate him. His face was burning almost as much as his back; he thanked Them for the small mercy of being able to hide in the pillow.

The strokes fell faster. They stung and he could feel welts rising. Perhaps the jeans were more protection than he had realized. He let his breathing fall into sync with the lashes. The familiar heady feeling found him. Blessed endorphins, adrenaline and other chemicals that put a soft haze over the pain and turned it into pleasure. If her goal was to make him suffer, she was failing. He could endure this for at least an hour. She varied the strokes and the area inflicted. It had melted into a warm tingling from the bottom of his thighs to just below his hips. He would probably feel it for a day or two, he hoped. A little reminder from a proper beating kept a slave humble, obedient. He still couldn’t imagine what he had done to offend her. Perhaps nothing. There had been guards like that, and Instructors. Those who would summon you to kneel under their lash purely to amuse them. Granted, his friendship with Brutus had protected him, from the guards at least.

It was the silence in the room that let him know that the beating was over. He could no longer tell if the blows were falling, nerves fired randomly and pain signals collided off one another in the race to his brain. john drifted in the familiar post beating delirium. He was ready to beg and thank her for his punishment, but he was cognizant enough to await her orders.

He felt the mattress move and realized she had climbed onto the bed with him. Her leg pressed against his and the touch of her skirt fabric reminded him of his nakedness. She straddled him. Perhaps she was going to inspect his marks, or unchain him, although it seemed an awkward position to accomplish either of these tasks. 

“Spread your legs.”

Noting to himself that this would be easier to do if she were not on top of him, john struggled to obey. He could not brag of any great flexibility. He realized she was probably going to whip the insides of his thighs, and he prayed that his lack of physical dexterity would not be interpreted as disobedience or a refusal to submit to discipline. He pushed his legs a little farther.

“Good. Very nice.”

A compliment? And she actually sounded pleased. He cursed his rigid muscular body, that the first task he had struggled with would be one apparently important to her. Perhaps she was pleased by his overall submission to the beating. It did seem to make her happy to beat him. It would be nice if she derived such enjoyment from his duties about the house, but he would endeavor to please her where he could.

“You were very good. Very good.” She gently stroked his hair and allowed him to kiss her hand.

“Mistress, thank you, Mistress.” He awaited a command or permission to beg her forgiveness.

She petted his hair and lightly rubbed his shoulders. It was the most gentle touch he’d ever received from her. She had rolled to the side and was lying next to him. He felt her lips press against his shoulder. She continued to kiss along his shoulders and his back. john lay quietly, perplexed and uncertain. He almost opened his mouth to speak to ask what this meant and what behavior would be appropriate on his part. No. It was better to remain silent. If she gave a command he would obey. If she permitted him to beg, he would confess his wrong-doing- probably misaddress- and hope that his acceptance of his punishment had pleased her.

“You may speak.”

“Yes, Mistress. Thank you, Mistress. Thank you for your correction and guiding me in my service to you. I sincerely beg your pardon for my continual misaddress, Mistress. I have been disrespectful and disobedient. I was greatly in need of your correction and am indebted to you for such. I can only hope that my submission to my punishment has pleased you and beg your mercy that you might forgive me.”

Jessie gave a noticeable shiver beside him. She made a small moan and he expected her to speak. More precisely to lecture him on his misconduct and detail what punishment future disobedience would bring. Her knowledge of at least some slave etiquette was comforting. Not that he relished being punished, but he had deserved it. She had told him repeatedly to address her as ‘Mistress” and he had disobeyed. His reasons were irrelevant. She gave orders and she punished; she had acted more like a Master than his Master had. She had earned his respect.

“You want me to forgive you?” Jessie ran her fingers lightly over john’s welted ass and thighs.

“Mistress, yes Mistress. This slave understands that more punishment may be required to satisfy forgiveness. This slave will suffer as silently as possible and endure whatever discipline Mistress deems appropriate.” 

His Mistress shuddered again. Was she getting ill? The room was not cold and she was still fully clothed.

“I forgive you. I am even going to reward you.”

“I am hardly deserving of any reward, Mistress.”

“But you are going to lay there and let me do anything I want to you, aren’t you?”

“Mistress, I submit myself to your hand, Mistress.” 

“And you won’t mention this to Steven?”

“Mistress, punishment is generally considered private, Mistress. If you have forgiven me there is no need to discuss it further with my Master.”

“Just to be clear, you are forgiven. This is not punishment. This is just something I’ve wanted to do to you for a while, simply because I will enjoy it.”

“I submit myself to your hand, Mistress.” The rush of endorphins was starting to ebb and sleepiness pulled at him. His ass and thighs were warm and ached from clenching them. The welts stung. Punished and forgiven. He hoped she would be finished with him soon so he could retreat downstairs to his couch and sleep.

She laughed softly. “Funny you should phrase it that way.” She caressed his thigh and ran her nails over the reddened flesh. 

john writhed. It wasn’t exactly pain, but he did not have a word for the sensation. Her fingernails felt like knives on his tender skin. Submit. Submit. Be still. Be silent. He sighed and forced himself to be rigid under her hands.

“It’s all right, john. I told you. This is not punishment. I don’t mind if you move around or make a little noise. I enjoy it. Now, I’m going to rub some lotion on you. This should feel nice.”

It stung a little at first, the lotion finding the numerous abrasions on his skin. But then it cooled, it soothed his skin. They had used something like this at school, though he hadn’t had anyone else rub it on him since he was a child. Brutus had always cleaned any lash marks that drew blood, but this was different. He had no frame of reference for the sensations this stirred in him. john was painfully aware of his nakedness and his involuntary reaction to the gentle caress of his Mistress. 

“Good slave.”

He shuddered this time. With that, some quiet tears flowed. As hard as john fought to be perfect he never felt so at peace as when he had failed, was truly punished and truly forgiven. To be accepted, to be called good even when he had disobeyed. He thought he was quiet, but she must have heard him. She stopped caressing his thighs and put her hands back on his shoulders.

“Shh, shh, ssshhh. It’s all right. You’re good, john. You’re a very good slave. Shh, shh, shh.” She massaged his shoulders, stroked his hair and finally turned his head so that she could kiss his cheek. And then she found his mouth.

When they finally parted lips they were breathless. john averted his eyes, certain that this had not been proper. And yet, it felt so assuredly right. He fought the urge to force his mouth back onto hers. While he struggled to make sense of everything, she leaned back into him. Her mouth found his lips; she grabbed a fist full of his hair with her left hand and she slid her right hand down to cup his ass.

Her fingers were invading the most private part of him. Everything tensed. Muscles deep inside him fought to push the intruder out, but they could not. He felt her slide her fingers further inside of him. He tried to pull free of the kiss and free of her prying fingers. She tightened her grip on his hair, pulling painfully. 

“Shh. I’m not hurting you. Be good. Just be good. Be still, relax. This won’t hurt if you relax. I promise, this will feel nice.”

“Mistress, please. Mistress, I don’t understand.”

“Shh. Don’t think. Just feel. Just lay there and focus on what you feel.”

“This is the remainder of my punishment, Mistress?”

She kissed his lips, softly. “No. This is simply how I chose to use you. You would not question your Mistress’s use of you, would you?”

“Mistress, no Mistress.”

“Good. Good slave. Now, just relax. You may speak or scream or cry or express any feelings you may have.”

His Master never would have thought to grant him such permission. He wanted to thank her, but she crushed his mouth into another kiss and he was swept under. Her tongue explored his mouth and her fingers explored a more intimate cavity. The life of a slave is an exercise in vulnerability, but john experienced a previously undiscovered level of submission. No one had ever owned inside of him before. Vulnerable. Owned. These were feelings he understood. In this unfamiliar context he took comfort in those feelings. She was his Mistress. She was using him as she wished. He was a good slave; he would submit.

Submission was his core, his essence. After each trial, each punishment, each moment of redemption or forgiveness he felt his core grow, expand, brighten. It brightened now. His very soul expounded and glowed, until it was a white-hot sun. The warmth inside of him spread until it matched and surpassed the warmth of his welted skin. The warmth and pressure built until all that was left of him was the glowing hot sun of submission burning inside him. And then the sun exploded. He screamed, but it was drowned in her kiss. 

She pulled away. He was panting, gasping for air. She was smiling at him. 

“Good. Good slave.” She stroked his hair.

To Be Continued…


Mira O’Hart credits her life long love of words, books and language to her Mom, who read to her every day. “Bookie” was one of her first words and publishing her own novel became a goal by age 10. Mira studied Journalism and Psychology at Penn State and later returned for a Master’s Degree in Education. Her varied career has included journalism, community mental health and school counseling.

Her passions include reading, writing, animals and travel. Italy and Greece are two of her favorite places visited so far. Her love of the written word has inspired her to study ancient languages including Latin, Egyptian Hieroglyphs and Summarian. She lives in North Eastern Pa with her cats, Tilly and Chloe.

Tagged With: bdsm, bdsm play, bdsm relationship, bdsm scene, dominant, femdom, fetish, kink, mistress, power dynamic, power exchange, sex, slave, submissive

How To Use A Squirting Dildo For Kinky Sex

January 24, 2021 By Kate Miller 2 Comments

chastity device toy
via stock.adobe.com

There is a common misconception that squirting dildos are only for female-female couples that want to add a penis into the mix without the hassle of introducing a third party. However, this couldn’t be more wrong. Sure, female-female couples can enjoy a squirting dildo during their fun sexual encounters, but so can everyone else. The erotic view of ejaculation and the internal stimulation of your partner “finishing” inside you is a delight that can be enjoyed by any kinky player.

There are certain times where a regular dildo just isn’t going to scratch your itch. Squirting dildos, also known as ejaculating or cumming dildos are usually designed with all the realism of a real cock, with the added delicious finish that regular dildos lack. Whether you decide to fill it with a semen-like liquid substitute that tastes like cum or a fruity flavored lube of your choice, you’ll be amazed at how much fun you can have when you have full control of when the member comes to an explosive finish. 

If you’re feeling kinky, here are the best ways to use a squirting dildo for a sexy and stimulating time!

When you want your partner to finish inside you.

Let’s face it: the thought of your partner finishing inside you is super-hot – there’s something about the visual affirmation that you are the reason for your partner’s orgasm that can make you feel so desirable. Cum fetishes are a thing! What’s less hot? Pregnancy, UTIs and 3am leakage. Sometimes, your situation doesn’t allow for your partner to cum inside you.

That’s why squirting dildos are ideal for those wanting to indulge that internal ejaculation kink, and there are plenty of ways to do it. You can start your encounter with normal penetrative sex and finish off with the squirting dildo, or you can use the squirting dildo as the main course. The fun part of using a dildo for ejaculation is that you also decide what size you want your dildo to be. So, if you really want to get kinky, you can pick out a dildo an inch or two larger than your cock to use on your partner, if they so desire. That way, you can take their pleasure to another level after they’re already wet and stretched out from you or the toys you were using earlier, before finishing with a bang.

To add a kinky element to your usual routine.

If you’ve been with your partner for a while, chances are you’ve got a solid routine going. But what if you want to change it up with some bondage cuffs? Are you ready to try other sex toys? 

Maybe you’ve used dildos before, and they work great for you and your partner. Squirting dildos aren’t so far off from regular dildos – the only difference is the fact that you fill it up with your lubricant of choice, and hit a button when you want it to erupt. Whether you and/or your partner have a cock or not, there are tons of ways you can indulge in kinky play with these dildos.

Firstly, you can have your partner kneel in front of you while you shower their face with cum and delight in the erotic view of watching jizz drip down their face. If it’s a female-male couple, she can wear it on a harness and treat you to some pegging. You can also simply indulge in a creampie fantasy. If you want to change things up, a squirting dildo is a great place to start.

If you suffer from ED or premature ejaculation.

If you suffer from ED or premature ejaculation, squirting dildos may just be the perfect accessories to have on-hand to reduce pressure and allow you to still have a fun, sexy time with your partner. When you know that you have a back-up plan in case things don’t go as planned, you can relax and enjoy time spent with your lover instead of worrying about your performance.

You can use the squirting dildo in any way you like – strap it onto a harness, use it in-hand or suction cup it onto the floor and watch your partner turn you and themselves on as they ride it all the way to climax. Give the partner being penetrated control of the sperm reservoir (the bulb or syringe) so they can release the sperm right as they orgasm!

To role play having a threesome.

Threesomes aren’t for everyone, but there are some twosomes that may wonder what it would be like to have one. Better yet, what it would feel like. But not everyone is ready to introduce a third person into the bedroom, for a variety of reasons: jealousy, sexual health, or even just not being fully into it.

However, with a squirting dildo, you can enjoy all the perks of having a third party, without any issues that could come with it. Whether you stick it in your partner’s anus while you slip your cock into her vagina, or if you want to watch him suck on a dildo with a facial finish while you please him from behind, it can be incredibly sexy and stimulating to have one, two or even three cocks in the mix!

For females, there are some squirting dildos with suction cup bases so she can stick it onto the wall or window to simulate doggy while she pleasures you, or you can penetrate her vagina with the dildo while you finger her asshole for the ultimate dual climax, finishing her off with a lovely dose of warm cum all over her stomach. 

Whether you already own a squirting dildo or are planning to add one to your toy box sometime soon, I hope this article gives you some ideas on how to use it for some fun and kinky sex. 

What’s your favorite way to use a squirting dildo?

-Sponsored Post


Sex toy writer and reviewer for HotCherry. Kate covers everything from dildos to bdsm toys and everything in between.

Tagged With: bdsm, bdsm play, bdsm scene, dildos, ejaculation, female orgasm, orgasm, orgasm control, sex, sex toys, squirting

This week in kink: January 18, 2021

January 17, 2021 By Dexx 2 Comments

This week Shireen Khalil writes about Sherry Lever, a 69 year old, thriving Dominatrix.

It’s true that age is just a number!

Click below to read more of Sherry’s riveting story!

UK grandmother shares inside look at life as a 69yo dominatrix after divorce – NZ Herald
She was once a chef, but when her husband left her she embarked on a racy, new career.
NZ Herald

BDSM has gotten more exposure over the years.

Whether you like the show or not, the Netflix show, Bonding is bringing BDSM and sex work more into the public eye.

With this being said, Showbiz CheatSheet, exposes the inner workings of this series.

Click below to find out more!

‘Bonding’: A Look at the True Story Behind Netflix’s Dominatrix Comedy

yahoo lifestyle! reports that BDSM is the most popular kink with folks over 60.

BDSM is definitely not reserved for the youngsters! Anyone and everyone is welcome!

Click below to read more about these intriguing findings!

BDSM the most popular kink amongst over 60s, study claims
A new study has delved into the sex lies of the over 60’s and some of the results may surprise you.
au.lifestyle.yahoo.com

Have some kinky news to share? Tell us about any upcoming BDSM events, new products, dungeon openings / closings, kink in mainstream media, and anything else you think kinky folks might be interested to hear about. Send your tips through to kinkweekly@gmail.com, and it might just end up on next week’s “This Week in Kink.”

Tagged With: bdsm, bdsm play, bdsm relationship, bdsm scene, consensual, consent, fetish, masochism, sadism, sado-masochist, sadomasochism, sex, Sex Work Community, sex worker rights, sex workers, sexual fantasy, sexual safety

Piggie’s Day Out

January 17, 2021 By Joji Sada 2 Comments

big little cute woman with pigtails and teddy bear
via stock.adobe.com

***All works of erotica are fictional. We NEVER condone anything that is not consensual.


You have talked about this trip for months.

It started in passing.  You wanted to go visit some of your old haunts.  You wanted to see what had changed, who was still there, and surprise a few members of your leather family.

I was excited for you.

It’s not often you get the chance to be free Sir.  For you to take even these three days to visit is out of the ordinary. 

You were all set.  You asked me to book you a room.  After all, you cannot surprise family if you ask ahead of time to stay there.

I booked you a room with a king size bed, located only a few doors from the jacuzzi.  Long trips like this are murder on your body.  I know you will need to relax, and the heat will help you.

About a month ago, you asked me to come with.  I was surprised.  You had been looking forward to some time to yourself.  I did not wish to be underfoot.

You told me it was my decision.  Logically, you planned on taking some gear to use at a party and you would appreciate the help but would not force me to go.

I knew I was going the minute you asked.  Even kneeling quietly in a corner while you played would be enjoyable to me.  

I like watching you play Sir.

Course, I have never met a girl who was not mesmerized by you.


It is Friday now.  We are up before the sun, packing the van with your gear, our clothes, and a small cooler with drinks and snacks.

We have seven hours of driving ahead of us.  I am not looking forward to that.  I am worried I will get motion sick, like I often do, but you seem far less worried.

I run downstairs and say my goodbyes to the family, stopping to grab a jacket.  I know it will be cold for a while.

I lay my jacket in the car and I hear you call me into the garage.  I figured you needed my help.

I was wrong.

I stepped through the open door and one hand is on the back of my neck while your other covers my mouth.

You stare me down and get close to my face.

“Shh.  From this point out, you are in service mode.  You will worry about nothing.  Is that understood?”. You remove your hand from my mouth.

“Yes Sir”. My voice is breathy.  It often is when you take control so suddenly.

“Good.  Bend over and pull your panties down.”

The garage door is wide open.  Anyone could see us.  But it’s been less than a minute since you told me I am in service mode and I have no desire to start the trip on a bad note.

I bent over, pulling my short black sun dress up my back and my lace panties to my knees.

Two of your fingers rub across my clit.  You know I have no control. A few short strokes and then you plunged your fingers right inside me.  I gritted my teeth.  I have always been tight, and I cannot naturally lube.  We both know it hurts without preparation.

You finger fuck me until I am trying to push back against you.  

“Still.”

I whined softly.  I do not wish to be caught but I am always desperate when you touch me.

I felt something round press against my cunt.  It slips inside with only a bit of pressure.

You replace my panties and prompt me to stand up.  I am pulled back against your chest and your lips rest against my ear.

“That will stay in place until I say otherwise.  Did you pack the rest of what I asked?”

“Yes Sir,” I responded, thinking of both the clothespins and the clover clamps in my purse.

This is going to be an interesting ride and we have not even left yet.


We have been on the road for about two hours now and I don’t know how much longer I can take this.  Without so much as a word, you keep turning on the toy you slipped  inside of me.  I should have known it would be more involved than just keeping me filled for the trip.

Fast pulses until I am nearing the edge.  Then you cut the power.  My body convulses with the sudden stop.  I know better than to cum without permission.  Even if you are pushing my body to the limit, repeatedly.

Four hours in and my body is beyond tense.  You have been edging me continuously for the whole trip.  Soon, we see a sign that says we are five miles from the next town.  Your game intensifies.

“We are going to stop for gas and to get a drink.”  When you smile, I know that is not all that will be happening.

“Yes, Sir”

“Take the clamps out of your purse and put them on.”  You wait patiently as I do as instructed.  I gasp a little at the pressure.  The clover clamps bite hard on my tender flesh and press uncomfortably against my piercings.  I have never made it more than an hour in these, and that was pushing myself to tears.  “Now, slip your panties off.”  Just as I start removing them, you turn the toy to high and I squeeze my legs together just to gain some semblance of control.  I slide them down kick them from my ankles.  I move to pick them up, but you tell me to leave them.  

“When we stop, you are going to go inside and get us drinks.  Take your time sweetie, I will be waiting.”

My head drops down to my chest.  I know that my cheeks are turning a soft shade of red.  You know how much this embarrasses me to be so underdressed in public.

“What’s a matter sweetie?”

“Nothing, Sir.  I am feeling very shy.”

“Awww, poor little piggie.”

That just turns me an even brighter red.  I enjoy being your little piggie, but I am extremely shy outside of our home.  You love pushing me to face that embarrassment.

It is only a few miles to the gas station, and I am already feeling the bite of the clamps.  I close my eyes, trying to breathe through the pain.  Of course, you knew what I was trying to do.  You prefer when I stay in the moment.  

Suddenly, I feel your hand slap down onto my bare thigh.  My eyes fly open and I grunt from the force.  I look at you and you are simply grinning, keeping your eyes on the road.  I look down to my leg and I can see the outline of your palm.  The imprint won’t stay long but I will feel the smack for a long while.

We pull to a stop before I realize we have arrived.  I grab my wallet and my mask.  I still find it ironic that my face is covered but the rest of me is bare beneath my dress.  I am slow to close the passenger door after I get out and you raise an eyebrow at me.  

I take a deep breath, turn around, and head inside.  I have never felt like my dress was too short or revealing as I have at this moment.  It feels like all the eyes are on me.  My hands nervously tuck at the hem of my dress, tugging it down.  I kneel down slowly to get our drinks.  They are always on the bottom of the cooler, but you knew that.  I curse you under my breath as the vibrations start up again.  I grab the drinks and my legs wobble slightly as I try to stand.  

You are impossible, Sir.

I slowly make my way up to the counter.  I wave away a kind strangers concern at how I am walking.  I must look a right sight.  I breathe deeply as I wait for my turn to pay.  It is instances like this that I am thankful my face is covered. 

I swipe my card and offer my thanks as I grab my bag.  I walk as quickly as I can to the car without raising suspicion.  I reach for the handle, only to find the door locked.  I look through the window and you are staring at me with your fingers on the lock.  The toy surges to its highest setting and my forehead drops against the window.  I am going to collapse at this rate.  My legs are shaking, and my breathing is getting erratic.

I know you can see me whispering against the window.  It is a continuous litany of “please” and “Sir.”  I am not even sure if I am asking to finally be allowed an orgasm or if I just want inside the car.  After a couple of minutes, I hear the lock click open.  I open the door and climb inside.  

“What took you so long sweetie?”  

I just glare at you as you chuckle.  You are far too amused by this.

I pop the top on your drink as you pull away from the gas station.  You have silenced the toy for now but without the distraction, I am starting to feel the intense pain of the clamps.  They have been on nearly twenty minutes now.  I can feel the pain radiating into my back.  

“Sir, may I remove the clamps?”

“When we reach city limits.”

I close my eyes.  That is nearly five miles.  Red light after red light, five miles is a very long time.

Two miles down and I am unsure if I can do this any longer.  “Please, Sir.”

“No.  You are almost there sweetie.  You can do this.”  Deep breath.

I am watching the street signs intently.  Another mile down.  My hands have curled into a fist.  You have kept the toy silent for a reason.  You want me to experience the pain without distraction.  You want me to endure it.  You want me to know that I can.

One mile to go.  My body is stoic.  Every movement antagonizes the clamps.  The cloth of my dress is nearly unbearable.

As soon as we crossed the city limits, I was ready to remove them.  “Please Sir.  May I remove them now?”  Its always better to double check with you.  I never know if you will have changed your mind and start something even more wicked.

“Yes, you may.  You did good.”

I removed them and immediately press my palms against my nipples as the blood rushed back into them.  It is so intense.  All I want to do is be allowed to orgasm.  I know that is a long time away.  But a girl can dream.


It has been a long trip Sir.  My body is exhausted.  You have been edging me for eight hours, if we include the stops we made.  My skin is so sensitive.  My dress feels heavy and the slight breeze makes my knees quiver.  You have had the toy tease me, pushed me with my clamps, and had me tease myself openly on the drive.  I can tell you that seats are high enough that I am positive I was on full display.  Is that why we took the roads that are crowded with semi-trucks?

You get us checked in to the hotel.  We are not meeting anyone else until tomorrow.  So, this should be a good chance to relax.

I should have known better.


Once everything is put away, you take a seat in the wingback chair near the window.  The curtains are drawn, and you ask me to come stand in front of you.  You sit forward slightly, and your hands wrap around my thighs, resting on my ass.  I stand silently, waiting for your instruction.

You pull one hand back and bring it up to cover my cunt.  My eyes rest on the top of your head and my hands come up to your shoulder as you smack my lips hard. Two, three, four times.  Your fingers slip between my lips as my fingers tighten on your shoulders.  My legs are shaking as I hold myself still. You slide over my clit.  Its so sensitive from all the teasing.  I can feel the pulsing in my back.  You slide forward and I feel you hook the toy and pull it.  I feel so swollen and the tugging hurts.  You bring your other hand off my ass and snap twice.  

With relief, I let my legs give out and drop to my knees.  My eyes go to the floor and my hands rest on my thighs.

Your fingers come up to my lips and I suck them clean without hesitation.  Once you are satisfied, you bring the toy to my lips and I repeat the process.  You pull it from my mouth and drop it into my hands.  My head drops forward onto your knees as I steady myself.   

You run your fingers through my hair and speak softly.  “When you are settled, I want you to crawl to the bathroom and leave the toy by the sink to be cleaned later.  Then I want you to crawl to the door and bring back the bag I left there.  Do you understand, piggie?”

I nod my head.  Your fingers tighten in my hair and pull my head back to look you in the eye.  “Care to try that again?”

“Yes, Sir.  I understand, Sir.”

You let my hair go and I relax back into position.  I appreciate that you are letting me settle into my role.  It has been so long since I have been in continuous service like this.  My head is in its confused state.  It is where I can still feel the pain and sensitivity, but my mind has yet to clear of everyday stress.  I need this.  I need to just be here, with you, and forget everything else.

Thank you for knowing me as you do.

I think I am ready now.


I lift my head from your knee and slip the toy between my teeth.  I turn and start crawling to the bathroom.  In no time at all, I bring the small black bag to you.  It is heavy between my teeth, but I am determined not to drop it.

You pull the bag from my grip and stand.  You step around me.  I can hear you laying items on the table, but I have no idea what it could be.  I desperately want to peak but I know better.

I startle slightly when your hand rests on my head.  I am losing myself in service.  My mind is calm, even though my body is still sensitive from play.  I breathe deeply and relax my shoulders.  

I can do anything you ask of me, Sir.  


“Come here piggie.”

I turn and crawl the few feet to you.

“Kneel up.”  Your hands are on my chainmaille collar and I feel the clasp give way.  You slide the metal across my collar bone and down my tummy until you drop it into my hands.  I feel the strip of leather of my formal collar tighten around my neck.  As always, my head tips up to look you in the eye.  You have it tight enough to get my attention and make me gasp.  You loosen it to your liking and buckle it closed.  You tug harshly on the frontmost O-Ring and stare me down.  The longer our eyes meet, the harder it is to keep eye contact.  

It only take a few minutes before you let go of my collar and my body drops heavy back onto my knees.

“Tonight, we are going to have company.”

My eyes widen.  We haven’t done this before Sir.  I mentioned it, just once, when you asked me what one of my deepest desires was.  I told you I wanted to serve you in public.  I wanted to conquer my fears and overcome my shyness, my hesitancy.

But now, I am extremely nervous.

“Look at me.”  I glance up.  “I am going to show off my little piggie.  I expect you to be on your best behavior.”

I look into your eyes and the moments tick by in silence.  You are waiting for an answer.  I am curious if you believe you will hear my agreement or my safeword.  

I have told you I can take anything you have to offer.  I am not ready to back down yet.

“Yes, Sir”


I find myself dressed in my gear.  My ears keep my hair back.  It helps, considering how much you love to see it down.  The silicone nose is situated over my natural nose.  I still hate it with a passion.  The idea of anyone but you seeing this makes me extremely uncomfortable.  My tail is situated snuggly in my ass.  I entirely hate how much I have come to love my tail.  I enjoy any opportunity when I am allowed to wear it.

I am kneeling at your feet, the tail uncomfortably bending and adjusting inside me.

I am facing the door, my head resting on your knee.  My body is tense.  My head is filled with chaos.  I am unsure of how much I want this.  Dreaming it, and doing it, are far different.

Your voice is soft behind me.

“We are going to lay a few ground rules.  Tonight, you are just holes to fill and abuse. You will enthusiastically serve them as you do me.  Your ass is off limits.  Is that understood?”

“Yes, Sir.”  My voice is soft but strong.  I make sure you clearly hear my answer.

“Do you have any questions?”

“No, Sir.”

Your fingers tighten in my hair and you pull my head back just enough to look at you.  “I know you will make me proud, little piggie.”  Your fingers release me hair and hook into my collar.  “This means you are mine.  I will always take care of you.”

“Thank you, Master.  I needed to hear that.”

You smile.  It is always a highlight of my day to see your smile.  It is so rare and you are always so reserved.

“Now, my little piggie slut, up on the bed with you.”  I crawl over to the bed and climb onto it, staying on all fours.  “They are going to be here soon.  I want you to relax for me.”  You remove my ears momentarily and put the hood over my face.  It is the one thing that makes me lose myself.  I hear nothing but the blood rushing through my ears.  I see nothing but the darkness of my eyelids.  I taste nothing as long as you keep the zipper closed.  You replace my ears and place a kiss to the top of my head.  “Lay down and rest.  I will wake you when it is time.”

With his blessing, I close my eyes and regulate my breathing.  A nap will do me good after everything today.


I woke to my body being bodily flipped onto my tummy.  There were hands on both my legs and they pushed them forward until I was forced onto my knees.  My face stayed against the mattress and my hands were caught underneath me. 

There are hands everywhere.  My breathing is erratic, and I am trying to figure out what is happening.  The zipper on my hood is undone and there is a thumb put into my mouth, pushing my tongue and jaw downward.

As soon as I felt it, I knew it was Master.  That is how he tests my self-control.  He will hold it for as long as possible to make sure I do not lick or suck without permission.  Being allowed to suck on his thumb is a rare reward.  I am oddly comforted under the pain. 

I feel fingers on my backside.  Someone is playing with the tail.  Every time they tug at it, or bounce it, it shifts inside me.  Then, without warning, there are two fingers inside of me.  I am unable to lube naturally.  I am guessing someone realized that as suddenly I felt someone spit on me.  I could feel it dripping down and it was warm as they pushed it inside of me.  

There was little prep.  Less than a minute later, there is a hard cock pressing into my semi-dry passage. I feel uncomfortably stretched.  I gasp sharply and as the man behind me starts to thrust harshly, there is a cock put to my lips.  There is a hand on the back of my head, adding pressure as they pushed as far back into my throat as they could.  My stomach and throat convulsed as my gag reflux was affected.  I inhaled through my nose as best I could, but the jarring movement, from the fucking, was making it hard to concentrate.

I tried to remember what Master had said.  That I would serve them enthusiastically.  I pulled back when he let my head go and brought myself up to my hands and knees.  Not knowing where anyone was, I opened my mouth and stuck out my tongue.

It is not long before there is a cock in my mouth again.  I am unsure if it the same person or not.  I do not know how many people Master invited over.  I bob my head, licking and sucking.  I want to make Master proud.  I am never happier than when I get to use my mouth.

I felt the guy behind me grip tight to my hips as he finished.  It eased the burn of the next one who took his place.  I’ve never been fucked so roughly.  I am slightly panicked because I do not know where Master is.  I trust he would not have left me alone, but I miss his touch right now.  

I feel so full.  It is brutal.  I know that I will most definitely feel this tomorrow.

I lose count quickly of how they rotate.  My jaw is sore, and my head keeps getting pulled in different directions to be fucked.

At some point, someone pulls my ears from my head and the hood is yanked roughly from me.  I close my eyes against the light.  I can hear the murmuring of one of the men.  “She really is a pig, isn’t she?  Look at the nose.”

I can hear Master chuckle.  “She is my little piggie slut.  She is such a dirty piggie.”

I can hear myself mewl at his words.  It both embarrasses me and makes me whine in agreement.  I am dirty and I would do anything for Master.  

I was flipped onto my back, my head hanging off the bed.  One thrust down my throat and another into my swollen cunt.  My hands were grabbed and placed on another.  I wrapped my fingers around him and started stroking.  At least I now have a number.  Master invited three people to have free reign of my body.  

“Do not come down her throat.  Piggies are meant to be dirty.”  Master ordered.

And as he ordered, one covered my stomach and the other my breasts with their cum.  The third filled my passage with even more cum.  I could feel it dripping out of me.  I felt tired and use. And dirty.

“Bring her here.”  I felt myself picked up from the bed and tossed bodily to the floor.  My arms were shaking, and I struggled to bring myself to my hands and knees.  “Hold her.”  I felt a boot push press against my back and push me back into the carpet.  My arms went flat above my head.  Another put pressed against my cheek and the last set held my hands in place.

I felt tugging at my tail.  I started to try and struggle.  My knees were pressed into the carpet, under my stomach, by the boot on my back.  I had nowhere to go.  I pulled and pulled but I couldn’t move.

“Please.  Please no.”  I didn’t know who was behind me.  Only Master could touch me there. The tears welled in my eyes.  I wouldn’t be able to get away.  I would fail Master.  “Please, no.”

“Quiet.  I will do as I wish to my little piggie.”  I sobbed at his voice.  The tailed popped from my ass and I felt my walls pulse.  It was weird being empty again. 

You must have read my mind.  Without any extra lube or preparation, you pushed into me until you were fully seated.  It hurt.  Your pace was just as brutal as the others.  “Please, Sir, it hurts.”  I cry.  All I want to do is move away from the pain.  My body is held in place.  My neck is starting to hurt from the position but I am more focused on the pain radiating through my back.  “Please, Sir.  It hurts….it hurts so bad.”

“Hush and push back against me.”  I hear you laugh softly.  “Is piggie stuck?  Isn’t this what you wanted?  To be on a spicket and tenderized?”

I sob again.  I am losing myself in the humiliation.  I feel so exposed.  I hurt and I am filled and covered in cum.  My ass burns.  I am unsure of how much time is passed before I feel your fingers tighten on my hips and you slam deep inside me.  I feel your cum fill my ass.  After you finish, I hear you tell them to release me.  I feel like my body is made of lead.  Out of the corner of my eye, I see you standing over me.  

I shakily push myself up, slower than I would have liked, until I am on my knees.  I open my mouth and gently take your cock into my mouth.  I clean your cock with my tongue and then release you.  

I lean down to the floor and kiss each boot three times.  Then I murmur a soft thank you before kneeling back up.  Our scene is done now.  The adrenaline starts to slow.

My body is shaking.  I am cold now.

You remove the nose from my face and your hand rests on the top of my head.

“You did good, piggie.”


I don’t remember you sending the others home.  I remember falling back to the floor and curling up.  It did not matter that I was covered in cum.  I was exhausted.  I never expected this.  My body shakes from the adrenaline.  

I remember my head being pulled into your lap.  You are talking to me but it is hard to understand.  When I finally come out of the white noise, you offer to run me a bath.  I don’t want to be alone, even if the warm water sounds relaxing.  I shake my head.  Aftercare is the only time you allow me to answer non-verbally.

You move to get up and my hands tighten on your jeans.  “Sir?”

“I am getting a cloth to clean you up.  Then we will curl up and you can get your skin-to-skin contact.”

“Ok.”  I sighed.  

As you come back and start to wipe me down, I am comforted.

You always know what I need, Sir.

Even as I feel worn down, swollen, and somewhat broken, I know you will always be there to pick me up and put me back together.  

You pick me up and place me on the bed.  You make sure I am covered, so the shivering will stop soon.  As you crawl in with me, you beckon me over.  I curl my head onto your tummy and hand rubs my back reassuringly.

I feel my head go fuzzy and as I start to drift, I slur out the question I seem to ask every time. “piggie do good?”

I am positive I hear you laugh ever so slightly as you tell me “Yes, you are my good girl.”

My eyes drift close and I smile as I fall asleep.  

You will always keep me safe.  

I can rest now.


My name is Joji.  I am 29 years old currently and I have been in and around the kink community about 15 years.I am a collared submissive to Magick42.  I am also a Daddy to a wonderful babygirl, and have been for more than three years now and I find it very fulfilling.  I am being mentored in and being taught electroplay.  I am a masochist at heart and thoroughly love impact play, especially caning.  I enjoy reading anything I can get my hands on and am a die hard Harry Potter and Doctor Who fan.  I am also the secretary for a group in Idaho called Moscow S.P.A.R.K.E (Simply Providing Another Route to Kink Education).  It is our mission to teach safe practices to those new to the community and give them a safe haven to ask questions and learn without judgement.  We accept all kinks and all we ask in return is respect between all our members.

Tagged With: bdsm, bdsm play, bdsm relationship, bdsm scene, daddy dom, fetish, kink, little space, littles, master, power exchange, sex, sexual fantasy, slave, slut training, submissive

Starting The New Year Right

January 10, 2021 By Christmas Bunny 2 Comments

two beautiful slave girls lying in bed awaiting their master
via stock.adobe.com

Interestingly enough, their polycule involved the men as metas.  Both women were submissive to the men, yet together things just work well between them.  The men liked each other quite well, which meant group vacations and dinners worked nicely, the men having their time with the girl each was dating, with the girls holding hands between them.  They were excited to ring in the new year together.

The men had decided on whips, Lacy’s Master whipping her front surgically, while Maggie’s Daddy placed his strikes neatly along her upper back and ass cheeks.  By the end, both women were crying, punctuated by sharp screams.  The men chuckled and wandered off to the kitchen to pour champagne to toast the changing of the year while Maggie crawled on all fours over to her nude and recently striped girlfriend.  She playfully licked Lacy’s nipple.  “Want me to lick your boo boos?” she teased.

Lacy slapped Maggie’s ass, not terribly hard, but hard enough to make her hiss.  Both girls began to laugh, curled around one another on the floor.

The men returned shortly, passing out glasses.  The girls only got a splash, just enough to toast with.  None of them were fans of mixing alcohol with endorphins, but they didn’t want to miss the possibility of good luck for the next year, particularly with as rough as the past year had been.

The seconds ticked by and the men claimed their kisses at midnight, the women acknowledging their dominance first, then turning to kiss one another after.  They all understood the relationship structure quite well.

The four of them stayed awake a while longer, laughing, talking, and watching fireworks over the water, then the men excused themselves to their separate room, leaving the women the rest of the house to themselves.

Normally neither of them was particularly aggressive, but the men had taken care of the warm-up for them.  Nestled on the couch together, Lacy deftly adjusted a leg and slid into Maggie’s embrace, who responded by wrapping her legs around Lacy.  They kissed passionately, happy to have the time together. 

Maggie kissed her way down to Lacy’s striped and perky breasts, avoiding the lash marks.  She rolled one of Lacy’s nipples into her mouth.  She grazed the pierced nipple with her teeth before working it just the way she knew Lacy liked it.  Lacy’s head fell back as she moaned, reaching for her partner to maintain their connected touch.  Lacy tucked a strand of Maggie’s hair behind her ear, then slid that same hand teasingly down the side of her neck, the outer curve of her breast, and down to her spread thighs.

Lacy’s fingers touched wetness and she moaned again in response.  Maggie hummed her pleasure, opening her thighs slightly wider for exploration.  Lacy pressed her fingers into Maggie’s wet cunt, delighting in just how much wetness pooled there.  She slid a glass carrot in to replace her fingers.  “How’s that, baby?” she murmured.  Maggie nodded breathlessly as she hummed again.  

“I want to taste you,” she whispered in response, nudging Lacy to her untouched back, sliding off the edge of the couch to position between Lacy’s legs.  She lowered her mouth to Lacy’s clit, sliding a finger in just as easily as the carrot had slid inside of her.  “You’re so wet,” she breathed, sliding fingers against Lacy’s g-spot.  “I want to make you cum,” she said shyly, licking at the engorged clit and feeling glass between her own thighs.

She worked hand and mouth until Lacy squirted her orgasm, squeezing that dildo rhythmically as her desire for Lacy combined with the continued rubbing sensation triggered her own orgasm.  She climbed back onto the couch, feeling sleep pull at her.  

They’d already arranged the sectional into a bed shape, stuffies and all, and nestled together they drifted to sleep, content in their own little world.


Christmas bunny has been exploring kink since she was legal to do so.  Her serious writing started in college, where she accidently got some of her papers published in educational journals.  She has recently expanded her writing to include her kink journey.  She began writing in the physical realm, but shed some of her inhibitions and began sharing those entries with others.  She now keeps an active blog of her personal growth and her relationship with her Master / Daddy Dominant and writes helpful educational posts on a variety of subjects.

Tagged With: bdsm, bdsm play, bdsm relationship, bdsm scene, fetish, kink, sex, sexual fantasy

This week in kink: January 11, 2020

January 10, 2021 By Dexx 2 Comments

Feeling lonely and isolated during the pandemic?

Want to meet more people?

Then, check out this awesome list of the best hook-up sites from Reader!

Top 20+ Hookup Sites That Actually Work (2021 Edition)
Looking for casual sex? A one night stand? Here are over 20 legit hookup sites that actually get you laid and you can try for free!
Chicago Reader

Many think that being a kinkster is linked to trauma. However, a recent scientific study has disbanded this ideology.

Click below to read more from Big Think!

Study shatters the myth that BDSM is linked to early-life trauma
No, being interested in BDSM does not mean you had a traumatic childhood.
Big Think

BDSM has become more normalized in recent years (key word being “more.” In a lot of areas it’s still not widely accepted, and is still viewed as deviant/taboo).

With this being said, Feminism in India touches on the normalization of kink, feminism, dominance/submission, history, and how this all relates to the expression of sexuality, gender, and the current political climate.

Click below to find out more!

We Need To Talk About The Normalisation Of BDSM | Feminism In India
BDSM is an acoronym that is broken down in three categories, Bondage-Discipline (B/D), Dominant -Submission (D/S), Sadism/Machoism (S/M).
Feminism In India

Have some kinky news to share? Tell us about any upcoming BDSM events, new products, dungeon openings / closings, kink in mainstream media, and anything else you think kinky folks might be interested to hear about. Send your tips through to kinkweekly@gmail.com, and it might just end up on next week’s “This Week in Kink.”

Tagged With: bdsm, bdsm community, bdsm news, bdsm play, bdsm relationship, bdsm scene, dominant, feminism, fetish, gender, history, kink, Kink Research, pornhub, psychology, Science, sex, sex research, sexual fantasy, sexual safety, sexuality, submissive, trauma

Submissive Training For Dominants

January 10, 2021 By Evie Lupine 2 Comments

Want to learn more about s-type training?

Then, check out this riveting video brought to us by the fabulous Evie Lupine!

She never dissappoints!

Should Dominants be Trained... as Submissives? [BDSM]

Tagged With: bdsm, bdsm play, bdsm relationship, bdsm scene, dominant, fetish, kink, power exchange, sex, submissive, total power exchange

The Importance Of Aftercare

January 3, 2021 By PirateStan 3 Comments

sex toys
via stock.adobe.com

When negotiating a scene, an aspect which can often be forgotten (especially with new people) is aftercare. It can be entirely too easy to overlook, as it can often seem as such a natural cap, good or bad. Why would you possibly need to discuss it ahead of time; it’ll just happen, right?

But no, it might not. Also there’s more than one way to aftercare, and not everybody’s going to agree on what’s right or wrong. And there’re some for whom aftercare isn’t even necessary.

Aftercare, for the record, is the physical/emotional cartaking that occurs after a scene, usually for the sub, but also for the Dom. It can vary in intimacy and intensity depending on the relationship between the two, the intensity of the scene, or simply the overall environment.

But why is aftercare necessary? Because a BDSM scene tends to be an intense, superchaged, and traumatic experience, especially for the sub. Sure, it’s usually cathartic as well, but it can still put someone through the wringer; sort of how running a few miles can make you feel great, but you’ll still need that period of cooldown (and maybe a shower) before you can feel relatively back to normal.

Again, different people, different scenes, can require different sorts of aftercare. But a good rule of thumb involves a few simple checkpoints:

– Check everyone over for physical injuries that need to be tended to immediately. There may be cuts that need bandaging, bruises that require icing, or burns that require salves. While I’ve never personally had a scene this physically intense, YMMV. 

– Support them (as they may be shaky), walking them to an area where you can both sit together, snuggling as needed. They’ll probably need a blanket to wrap themselves up with. Be certain to have water handy.

– Sit quietly until they come back to the land of the living. Even if they’ve been happily ensconced in subspace they’ll need varying degrees of time to return to reality.

– Once they’re lucid, engage them in some light conversation. Perhaps discuss the scene about what you both liked and disliked. But don’t expect any heavy conversation at this point.

– Finally, get both of yourselves dressed and clean up your playspace (if you haven’t had someone to do this for you already). Now’s a good time to hit the buffet or the fridge, as some people are absolutely ravenous after a good scene. And always be sure that you both hydrate!

– Later you may want to chat further and in-depth regarding your scene together. I’ve found these sorts of conversations to be extremely helpful.

– The next day, call or send a text to see how they’re doing. Even if you’re not trying to set up a long-term relationship, this is the sort of followup you really should engage in, so tell them ahead of time and see that they’re alright with it. Many subs aren’t aware of the sort of subdrop they’ll face the day after a scene. Different sorts of foods can help alleviate this (chocolate is often a good one).

Of course, there are many variants on all this. The time required can be anywhere from five to 30 minutes (or more). Some people require little to no aftercare (although the latter is very rare in my experience). Sometimes there’s a third party involved who’ll take on some or all of the aftercare duties (such as a Dom or Master of their own). And depending on the intimacy of the couple, some parts may be omitted, or become much more intense.

Regardless of how you do it, aftercare is an extremely important part of any scene, and should always be a critical part of your negotiations. 


PirateStan has been involved in his local BDSM community since 2007, after having had a lifelong inclination towards it. He currently lives a contented life in Southeastern Virginia with his girl, zeirah, while working by day for a Major Metropolitan Publication. 

Tagged With: aftercare, bdsm community, bdsm play, bdsm scene, communication, consent, fetish, Kink Community, mental health, negotiation, sex, sexual safety, SSC

Gynosupremacy, The Internet, and The Loss of Individuality

December 27, 2020 By Ms. Rika 2 Comments

hot sexy Domme with whip, male submissive
via stock.adobe.com

I hope you have been enjoying Rika’s Lair, my monthly column dedicated to thoughts and experiences  regarding power dynamics in Service-Oriented D/s relationships. Look up “Ms. Rika” in the search box  for links to all of my articles in KinkWeekly!  

My brain-dump of the day started with a response to a question about whether the dominant women in  our group have their submissives serve “all women” with whom they come in contact; to yield to  women as superiors and to enslave themselves by virtue of gender. 

I had heard this concept before, and had always thought of it as a male fantasy. I had always assumed  that the allure of every woman being their superior; the thought that they were “under” every woman – was an imagery men craved. It just struck me as a convenient way for men to live in a titillated state  throughout the day and, frankly, to push their kink onto unsuspecting – and non-consenting women.  However, I was surprised to find that some of the women in the room not only had given that very order  to their submissives, but truly believed in gynosupremacy. 

I questioned those that had ordered their subs to treat all women as superiors as to whether the idea  was theirs or their submissive’s. Most either admitted that the guy had been first to recommend it, or  that they couldn’t recall who suggested it first…that it just kind of “became a thing.” However, there  were a couple of women who proudly stated that it was their original directive. I questioned their  rationale. The discussion became lively. 

I had addressed the concept of “supremacy” in my books before that discussion and started down the  logic trail. For me, submission is a dedication to an individual and I feel that when you generalize based  on a trait, you lose individuality. I related it to feeling commoditized by gender-related bias. I posited: 

“Can you see how a blanket statement about women in general being superior, makes  none of us special? I’m not just a woman. What is it about ME that makes someone want to submit TO ME? As opposed to any other women, for example? Am I just the  most convenient woman around right now? If not me, will the next woman do? Is what  makes me special that I have a vagina – and am willing to allow someone to serve me?  No thank you! 

The notion that someone’s gender is all that’s necessary to warrant submission dilutes the value of that submission. Submission is a dynamic between two people, not between  two genders. Furthermore, if you define gender as an identity, then are we implying  that, if someone identifies as a man, they are not superior – but if they decide to identify  as a woman, they are? I’m sorry, but that would confuse me!” 

I think it’s safe to assume that, when we look at women and men as individuals, rather than as  generalized men and women, we see their strengths and weaknesses. There are individual character  traits that could make someone a very good, or a very poor dominant – or a very good, or a very poor  submissive, irrespective of their gender. It’s not the existence or lack of existence of a “Y” chromosome  (or one’s gender identity) that makes someone dominant or submissive. All men are really NOT  alike…nor are all women. I know many women who I would follow anywhere – and others who I would  never follow … EVER.

I started asking about the nature of their dynamics. Surprisingly, a majority had online relationships  with their submissives. Many of the relationships in the room were either completely limited to the  internet, or predominantly remote with occasional real-life interaction. 

That then got me going on the impact of the digital world on individuality. I started to consider that the  number of relationships people establish (at all levels of seriousness and of all relationship types) with  people they have never, or seldom met – and don’t really know, is growing due to the internet. It brings  people with similar interests together and improves the efficiency of the compatibility filtering process.  Additionally, the allure of anonymity is strong, particularly for people exploring an “edge” interest. But this remoteness is a double-edged sword. The worlds of reality and fantasy blend on the internet. You’re  never really certain who you’re with – as there are few immediate repercussions to your actions. 

I began to wonder if the notion that “all women are worthy of submission” stems, in part, from being  able to interact with people without knowing them. Does the internet make a partner easier to sculpt in  general terms – and to create an image of a person that matches your fantasy? I think it’s pretty clear that it does. 

In fact, I believe this image-creation phenomenon is also largely to blame for the number of men who  believe that a woman will jump at the opportunity to dominate them, just because they’re willing to be  dominated. If you’re a dominant woman with an online identity, you’ve very likely been approached, multiple times, by men who have already decided to submit to you, without knowing you at all – and  then, who are hurt if you don’t want them to serve you without getting to know one another!  

I’m also certain that there are a number of you reading this today, who have been disappointed – or  even hurt – when the imagery presented online and the reality of present-relationships don’t match. Or  when you yourself don’t seem to live up to the imagery that was projected onto you. 

Part of the allure – and the primary reason for the failure – of the internet for creating relationships is  that partners become commodities. You live in the fantasy of your imagination for a period of time, and  when that burns out, you move on to the next online partner. Imagining that every woman is a superior  – or that every male is an underling – is a generalization that is highly supported by the way the online  world masks our individuality. 

I find generalizations, as a rule, to be troublesome (irony intended). I find the notion of supremacy (in  any flavor: Female, Male, Black, White, etc.) particularly distasteful on many levels. I am an individual. I  want to be treated as an individual and I want to receive my due based on the merits of who I am, how I  think, and what I do. If someone wants to submit to me, they had better be prepared to explain what it  is about ME that compels you to make that type of commitment. What separates me from all others like  me. If they’re going to submit, they will submit to what’s between my ears, not what’s between my legs! 


 Ms. Rika is a lifestyle dominant, educator, and author; living in the suburbs of NYC with her  husband/slave. She has written several popular books on her approach to adding Dominant-Centric,  Service-Oriented D/s to relationships. You can find her books (in both print and eBook formats) at  Lulu.com (http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/msrika), or at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, the iStore, Books-A Million, Kobo.com, or anywhere books are sold. Search for “Ms. Rika”. Write to me at  Ms_Rika@hotmail.com

Tagged With: bdsm, bdsm play, bdsm relationship, femdom, fetish, gender, kink, power exchange, sex, sexual fantasy

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