• Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
  • Home
  • About
  • New to kink?
    • Articles for beginners
  • Contribute
  • BDSM Buying Guide

Kink Weekly

BDSM articles ideas bondage erotica resource

Home » rope bunny

rope bunny

This week in kink: August 30, 2021

August 26, 2021 By Desdemona 3 Comments

Is there a connection or disconnect between feminism and BDSM?

Click below to find out the answer from SheThePeople!

Is BDSM Really “Anti-Feminist”?

Rope Bondage, like most forms of kink, isn’t just about sex!

Learn more about this concept from CapeTalk!


Learn more about the film Lust and its impactful representation of BDSM!

Click below to learn more from yahoo!entertainment!


Have some kinky news to share? Tell us about any upcoming BDSM events, new products, dungeon openings / closings, kink in mainstream media, and anything else you think kinky folks might be interested to hear about. Send your tips through to kinkweekly@gmail.com, and it might just end up on next week’s “This Week in Kink.”

Tagged With: bdsm, bdsm community, feminism, fetish, kink, rope bondage, rope bunny, rope performance, shibari

Bondage

July 15, 2021 By SafferMaster 4 Comments

hot lesbian rope bunnies
via stock.adobe.com

Bondage in kink is a big deal. It’s the “B” in BDSM. Bondage takes all forms. There is the notion of being  owned as a sub, as in you are in a bondage dynamic. You have surrendered your sovereignty, perhaps  not your agency, but your sovereignty. There is bondage in a scene, being tied up or locked up. There is  rope bondage and metal bondage and cage bondage.  

Bondage involves all sorts of tools. If you are into latex, you might be in bondage in a latex vacuum bed.  You might be in a straitjacket, or you might find yourself locked down with straps, tied up with rope,  restricted with chains, restrained with hand cuffs, kept from moving with saran wrap, or even tied up  with a necktie, with zip ties or even with saranwrap.  

Being a submissive who enters a power exchange where bondage is an agreed to activity, you are  looking to surrender your control to your Dominant. As a Dominant, being someone who puts someone  else in bondage, you are taking on the responsibility of that person’s wellbeing while they are in  bondage. This is an especially important consideration. It’s all on you as the “Bondage Top”.  

People do bondage related activity for a number of reasons. The most common experience of bondage  for a submissive is that they feel “safe and secure” in bondage and “cared for” by their Dominant who  make the choice to put them in bondage restraints. For Tops, the issue is simply the arousal that accrues  from power and control.  

The ultimate bondage experience to be enslaved. In most kink-oriented dynamics, the state of  Master/Slave is a roll-play construct, whereas there are in fact those submissives and dominants who  take to the construct very completely and for all intents and purposes the submissive is indeed a slave in  servitude to a Master or Mistress. We have talked to more than one Master and Slave where they  occupy the space of a life of bondage with total control accruing to the Master or Mistress with no  consent accruing to the slave. For the purposes of this piece, I do not intend to examine this level of  bondage. In this writing, I am assuming that all forms of bondage are consensual and are part of kink  play scenes or dynamics.  

Much of bondage play is limited to chastity. For Cis males, a simple cage keeps them in a form of  bondage that is a mind fuck. With their Master or Mistress being the keyholder, that ability to hold a  submissive in bondage in the form of chastity that controls their orgasms can be a very hot way to spice up a dynamic.  

Some forms of bondage, like rope bondage, require the rope top to be quite skilled. Naturally there is  some risk associated with rope bondage. A tie that is too tight in the wrong place can cause nerve  damage. If it’s too tight and on for too long it can cause other sorts of tissue or joint damage too. A rope  top who puts a joint in an extreme compression and does not allow the sub out in time can cause non reversable orthopedic problems with joint failure a consequence over the long term. The point is that in  order to participate as a rope bottom, one needs to be in communication with one’s rope top so that  they can come to a point of clarity about the severity of the bonds they employ.  

Naturally, there are metal bonds. My slut likes to be chained up. She finds that when I pull out the  chains and she hears the clink and clank of the links as I get set up, she drops into subspace almost  instinctively. Chains are very effective in restraining a submissive and with a few handy padlocks, very  quick to employ as compared to rope. They also take much less skill to use, but they do have a downside, that being that the metal is unforgiving vs soft tissue, so make sure not to put compression  on a nerve, especially at the wrist. Also true of you are using handcuffs for bondage.  

Bondage is also art. Rope bondage is quite beautiful when done well. Shibari is the Japanese art of rope  bondage. In fact, “…the origin of Shibari comes from Hojo-jutsu, the martial art of restraining captives. In  Japan from 1400 to 1700, while the local police and Samurai used Hojo-jutsu as a form of imprisonment  and torture, the honor of these ancient Samurai warriors required them to treat their prisoners well. So,  they used different techniques to tie their prisoners, showing the honor and status of their captured  prisoner.  

In the late 1800′s and early 1900′s a new form of erotic Hojo-justu evolved, called Kinbaku, the art of  erotic bondage. Today, particularly in the west, the art of erotic bondage is typically called Shibari, which  is an art of erotic spirituality, not a martial art.  

Shibari style rigging creates geometric patterns and shapes with rope that contrast beautifully with the  human body’s natural curves. The ropes and their texture provide contrast to smooth skin and curves. In  Shibari, the model is the canvas, the rope is the paint and brush, and the rigger is the rope artist.  

The aesthetic arrangement of ropes and knots on the model’s body in Shibari rigging emphasizes  characteristics like sensuality, vulnerability, and also strength. The positioning of knots in appropriate  places stimulates pressure points on the body, very similarly to acupuncture techniques and Shiatsu, a  form of Japanese massage. Some believe a Shibari experience also stimulates Ki energy flow and transfer.  

In addition to creating beautiful patterns, with rope, body and limb placements, Shibari rigging induces  physiological conditions known as “sub space” and “top space”, which are similar to the “runners high”  experienced by athletes. A Shibari experience results in an increased level of endorphins and other  hormones, creating a trance-like experience for the bottom/model and an adrenaline rush for the  Top/rigger. When a Shibari scene is performed with appropriate ambience, these effects are actually  visible in the face of the model. The term “rope drunk” is sometimes affectionately used to describe the  euphoric condition of the model after a Shibari experience.  

For most practitioners of Shibari, the use of rope bondage does not include an unwilling victim like the  “Damsels in Distress” images popular in Detective type magazines. Instead, there is a collaboration  between the Shibari artist (the rigger/Top) and the Shibari canvas (the model/bottom) to create a  combination of effects including visual beauty, power exchange, helplessness, relaxation, and sub space  and top space physiological experiences.  

Contemporary practitioners of Shibari enjoy creating beautiful still images, live and recorded  performance art. Shibari can also be used as a component in BDSM play and an enhancement in sexual  activities.” (source: https://artofcontemporaryshibari.com).  

The point is well taken, playing with bondage is like other D/s play dynamics where the essence of the  power exchange is expressed and realized through bondage play. The sub achieves an altered state of  mind and in many instances, as noted the top does too.  

Something about being helpless seems to be a major motivator for a sub to agree to bondage. One of  my favorite early moments with my sub occurred as I was testing her limits early in our dynamic. The scene cage bondage. I chained her in the cage on all fours. The chain held her head in place with a snug  loop around her neck that tightened if she sagged onto it (this allowed her to explore breath play to her  satisfaction) , and her arms were held in place at the wrist so she had to stay put. She was wearing a  lemon juice infused ball gag, so she was drooling profusely, and at the same time, she had a stick of wet  ginger in her ass which kept her attention, and of course, she was being relentlessly fucked with a fat  dildo by a fuck machine. When I eventually released her from her bondage, she was in a state of deep  subspace that lasted for hours after her release. When we talked later, she described the feeling of  being helpless for my pleasure as making her “very wet”.  

Gags are a simple form of bondage. Remember, all BDSM related bondage is about taking control away  from a submissive in a manner that ultimately enhances sexuality. Whether is gags, or rope, or chains, or  a cage or chastity, or simply an instruction, my submissive does not push back against imposed bondage.  She is obedient and she knows that if she is in bondage, it pleases me. One of the first times I put her in  bondage, I hogtied her. After she finished squirming, she relaxed into it and in a while was in a mental  space of feeling secure in her bonds for my satisfaction and then when I removed the bonds, she was  feeling both the side effects of being in bondage on one hand and proud of herself for being a good girl on the other.  

She likes it when I do things like tie her down and use her because it plays on that helplessness that she  finds so sexually arousing. If I restrain her by her tits while I fuck her ass, she cums hard.  

Bondage lives in the world of a power exchange. One thing we have been playing with in the context of  bondage is the notion of hypnotic bondage. We have found that hypnosis makes everything in our kink  dynamic better and we believe that hypnotic bondage is no exception.  

Bondage is a kink that depends on consent. It’s a choice to be helpless in a sexual context. It’s a choice  to put someone in bondage. Consent is required to take someone’s freedom away from them, even for  a short time. In many ways, bondage is the basic kink fetish that even those completely vanilla folks  sometimes employ to spice up their sex life. And it’s the thin edge of the kink wedge. First, it’s “here let  me tie you up” and then, it’s “here let me blindfold you” and all of a sudden you are mainlining kink. I  jest, but all of bondage play is designed to enhance sexual experiences and this is true from the simple  little tie to a bedframe, all the way to being suspended upside down in a Shibari rope scene. Very often,  bondage is used to secure a submissive who is then subject to impact play. For example, the first time I  used a cane on my slut, I tied her down so she would not squirm in a way that would create danger for  her. So it’s a useful tool in a layered kink scene (a scene where there is more than one fetish in play).  

There is another consideration on bondage where it is designed to be more in the realm of torture than  play. In sado-masochism, the submissive suffers for the sadist. You see this with things like breast  suspension, or perhaps restraining a submissive on a wooden pony, or hanging submissives by hooks in  their shoulders, or using clamps to hold them onto a wall or St. Andrews Cross. There are lots of ways to  add extremes utilizing bondage. I have known Tops to use coconut hemp which is very irritating, on one  hand to rubbing ginger on the metal bar she is resting on with her naked (spread) vagina while  restrained on the other, as a couple of examples.  

As with anything in kink, consent is the key. It is always useful to spend time after a scene with a  submissive in aftercare because of the depth of subspace that often occurs with extended bondage.  Aftercare is very important, and especially the debriefing part of aftercare. It’s important to talk about what worked and what didn’t. What should be further explored and what aspects of the scene should be  discarded. When your scene can inflict permanent damage on a submissive, its best to play with a  healthy dose of caution.  

We did a few podcasts on bondage:  

 Season1 Episode 74 The “Rope Podast” Interview  

 Season 1 Episode 29: Bondage, Slavery, Cages Rope and more!  

That you can find in our archive at https://kinkycocktailhour.buzzsprout.com/ 


SafferMaster and Lady Petra offer Kink Relationship Coaching with online, group, and personal coaching  options.  

You can access the coaching services offered by Lady Petra Playground by reaching out for an initial  conversation- LadyPetraPlaground@gmail.com  

New coaching content can be found on out Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/LadyPetrasPlayground  

Lady Petra and SafferMaster also produce the Kinky cocktail Hour podcast available on all podcast  platforms and here: https://kinkycocktailhour.buzzsprout.com/

Tagged With: bdsm, bondage, fetish, kink, rope bondage, rope bunny, shibari

This week in kink: June 28, 2021

June 24, 2021 By Desdemona 2 Comments

NYC council candidate outed for being into BDSM!

Click below to find out more!


Dominatrix spends Covid money on brand new torture dungeon!

Click below to read more from The Sun!


Don’t miss Amy’s BDSM lockdown story in this week’s edition!

Click below to learn more from Tyla!


Have some kinky news to share? Tell us about any upcoming BDSM events, new products, dungeon openings / closings, kink in mainstream media, and anything else you think kinky folks might be interested to hear about. Send your tips through to kinkweekly@gmail.com, and it might just end up on next week’s “This Week in Kink.”

Tagged With: bdsm, bdsm play, bdsm scene, dominatrix, dungeon, fetish, kink, power exchange, rope bondage, rope bunny, shibari

A Silent Risk of Bondage – Positional Asphyxia

June 24, 2021 By TAC 4 Comments

hot lesbian rope bunnies
via stock.adobe.com

“In many ways, oxygen is to the human body, and particularly to the heart and brain, what oil is to a car’s engine. Indeed, there’s a medical adage that goes ‘hypoxia (becoming dangerously low on oxygen) not only stops the motor, but also wrecks the engine.” (The Medical Realities of Breath Control Play, Sexuality.org, Jay Wiseman)

In a world where we love tying each other up (yes please) and delivering a good spank physical injury in play is commonplace. For the most part it is light bruises or red marks which disappear in days if not hours. People excited, displaying what their Top gifted them the night before are all over Fetlife or showing the marks off at gatherings. 

Once in a while, we see injuries/marks a little more serious. Branding, scarification, bleeding cuts, lacerations, split skin, and very deep bruising involving the muscles come to mind. These are less common but no less welcome and attributed to heavy play.

Part of play for many, some even plan them. Easy to recognize, often talked (or bragged) about, and thousands of resources of information on how to care for them exist. We see the marks, can share them, and others know what to do. Although potentially dangerous, we have a map to work from and take care of them. What about the unseen risks?

There is a sneaky bastard many have not heard of. Something that can happen even during lighter bondage/rope play. It can be hard to recognize, and difficult to react to: Positional Asphyxia.

What is Positional Asphyxia?

Positional Asphyxia occurs when our bottom cannot get enough oxygen because of the position we have put them and the muscles supporting breathing wear out becoming over tired. Between hog ties, ball suspensions, predicament bondage, and other inventive poses we cause mechanical stress on the structures of the chest. Restricting the bottom from breathing normally.  Eventually, the muscles supporting breathing give out putting them in a life threating position (hypoxia- the lack of oxygen at the tissue level). 

I should clarify, I am not writing about breath play or other kinks which intentionally restrict breathing. Positional Asphyxia is the result of accidental circumstance in situations where we are not planning on breathing, or the lack there of, being part of play.

Positional Asphyxia is more likely to occur when there are additional physical stressors which causes their body to work hard. Wrestling, being thrown around in a CNC scene, physically demanding positions, and physical exercise are a few examples. The use of or stimulants or alcohol also increases the risk. Medical conditions such as heart disease, asthma, bronchitis, etc. can contribute also.

Someone who is physically exhausted and in a compromising position is particularly at risk as they may be unable to tell you they are in trouble. Gravity and their own physical state are working against them.

Recognizing Positional Asphyxia

When we play hard and for long periods of time subspace, fatigue, and lack of focus can make it difficult to see when a bottom may be in trouble. Let’s face it, both partners get tired and a bottom at the end of the physical rope (pun intended) may be lethargic and slow to respond. This combined with a top being tired from play can make us miss what is really going if Positional Asphyxia is an issue. 

These things together can make distinguishing between what is normal (in the context of kink) and real trouble a much more difficult task. However, there are some general indicators which can help you see trouble and act quickly.

Symptoms of Hypoxia: (can vary from person to person)

Acute Symptoms- Shortness of breath, rapid breathing, fast heart rate, wheezing, coughing, changes in skin color (particularly the fingertips and inside of the lips)

Severe Symptoms- Inability to communicate, confusion, loss of consciousness, slow heart rate

Other symptoms may include- restlessness, headache, sweating, cold and clammy

Assessment and Response

THIS IS NOT MEDICAL ADVICE- When in doubt seek medical assistance immediately.

Before you run for the hills, as long as you are doing what is needed to check on your bottom you should be able to catch any issues before they become serious. Generally, it takes a long time for Positional Asphyxia induced hypoxia to occur as a result of being bound. However, once it does set in, there is no time to waste.

Hopefully, you know the person you are playing with very well and generally know how they act or react to various play. If they are acting abnormal to what you know of them, are displaying sign/symptoms of hypoxia, or you have a reasonable suspicion they are in medical trouble, seek medical assistance immediately. With that being said, there are some quick things you can do to help you assess their physical state and respond to potential hypoxia.

Assessment: Level of consciousness- are they unresponsive or seem very confused? Are not speaking or responding to questions? Breathing is fast or gasping? Do they have a headache? Heart Rate is very fast or very slow? Are they cyanotic (bluish color inside the lips or fingertips)? Perform a capillary refill test, do they refill in more than 3 seconds? Are they cold and clammy to the touch even though sweating?

If the answers to one or more of these are yes, they are possibly in a hypoxic state. The more yes’s you have the more likely they are in serious trouble.

Response: If you reasonably believe your partner is hypoxic (the result of positional asphyxia) – CALL FOR MEDICAL ASSISTANCE NOW! Do not wait, hem and haw and worry about what people will think. Hypoxia is a life-threatening condition which can cause serious harm to major organs and death in a very short period of time. Sometimes minutes. 

Get them out of any bonds and elevate their upper body and legs adjust as necessary however it is easier for them to breathe; continue to talk to them and encourage them to breathe deeply and slowly; keep them awake if at all possible; do not let them smoke, drink, or eat. Stay with them and do these things until medical first responders arrive.

If they lose consciousness and are not breathing and have no pulse, begin and continue CPR until medical first responders arrive.

You are the only one there and have to make a decision quickly. Yes, take a minute to help figure out what is going on, but minutes may be all you have. DO NOT WASTE THEM ON INDECISION!

Prevention

Now that you have dumped a full fecal load in your shorts and have sworn off any kind of bondage understand that there is a lot in the way we interact and play which helps prevent Positional Asphyxia and hypoxia from ever happening. The more we improve on the following skills and aspects, the less likely bad things happen.

Attentive and Present: Stay close to anyone retrained or bound. Not just because of positional asphyxia but there are other ways a restraint can have a negative impact. Have everything you need in the room with you before you begin to play. Including a charged cell phone and safety shears/rescue hook (keys and bolt cutters for hard restraints). Be attentive throughout the whole scene, paying attention to how they are doing and responding.

Communication (verbal and nonverbal): The louder the better. If they are loud, they are breathing and getting oxygen. Constantly be talking and eliciting a reaction from them. Use dirty talk, make them answer questions, whatever. The point is if they are becoming less communicative, we need to assess why. Watch their nonverbals. Are they a wiggler who has stopped wiggling? When you slap their thigh do they normally react? Etc. The longer play continues, the more physically drained you both may get. Make a point of asking how they are doing if you are unsure.

Physical Restraint Setup and Body Position: How and where you apply bonds be it rope, leather, or chain can impact the bottom’s ability to breathe freely. As you are applying the bonds check to make sure they are not so restrictive they will prevent the expansion of the chest. Ties which put additional stress on the chest such as behind the back arm binders or others which put the arms behind in an awkward position cause the muscles in the chest to work harder.

Gravity plays a roll. Head down positions will impact the ability to breathe over time. Weight/pressure placed on the chest such as a hogtie position (their weight is on their chest) make the diaphragm and chest muscles work harder to maintain breathing and wear out faster. 

Be Technically Proficient: I cannot stress this enough. Learn and know your craft. Practice, loads of research, classes if possible, and interacting with more experienced players is a must. You both will have a better time and more likely to avoid issues.

Health Assessments (disclosure and annual physicals): Any medical condition which may affect play must be disclosed. This is for both of your safety. Even if the issue is the top’s. Get yourself and your bottom to a doctor once a year, or more often if necessary, for a general physical. We change as we age. It is just a fact of life. 

Knowledgeable of Body processes and Physiology: Although I do not consider this a must, it is definitely helpful. Knowing how the body and its processes work can help inform your play and give you an increased margin of safety. Not to mention devious ideas 😉

Hydration: Drink lots of water before, during, and after play. We need water to make sure our bodies are working at their best. Water is critical in the oxygenation and blood circulation processes. If we are dehydrated, we are not going to be able to transfer oxygen efficiently to our muscles and organs.

Well Rested Before Play: Being well rested helps us be our best during play, ensures our muscles are ready for the stress, and we can endure for longer periods without our muscles giving out. 

Final Thoughts

Regardless of your kinks or type of player you are, Positional Asphyxia is a risk you need to be aware of and know how to react to.  For most players, this is probably something you will never see in your lifetime, hopefully because you have built good habits into your play. 

Take the time to really learn and practice your craft, and have fun doing it. My goal through these types of articles is to help you do just that, have fun safely. Almost everything we do is risky, just take the time to find the counterbalances to those risks.

Do not be scared…… be informed!

Special Note and thanks: Great thanks to Dee Wells an amazing ICU Nurse for her expert eyes on this article. I may have stayed in a Holiday Inn last night but she does the serious stuff for a living….besides being kinky. And thank you to Dr. Wishesnottobenamed, wizard of the Emergency Room and Trauma-Fixer Extraordinaire. His insight was invaluable when sorting through what was important to include in this article.

For more information on Positional Asphyxia and Hypoxia and related information check out the links below:

Viewpoints Concerning Erotic Asphyxiation (bdsmcafe.com)

Bondage, Hogties and Positional Asphyxia (devianceanddesire.com)

Jay Wiseman essay on Self Bondage

Positional Asphyxia by Various (selfbound.net)

Article: Positional asphyxia | ESINEM Shibari Classes

Positional asphyxia (slideshare.net)

Hypoxia (medical) – Wikipedia

Hypoxia and Hypoxemia: Symptoms, Treatment, Causes (webmd.com)

How to Check Heart Rate: 5 Methods and What Is Normal (healthline.com)

Capillary Refill Test – Physiopedia (physio-pedia.com)

Tagged With: bdsm, bdsm community, bdsm play, bdsm relationship, bdsm scene, bondage, fetish, kink, rope bondage, rope bondage performance, rope bunny

How can being constrained set you free?

April 24, 2021 By TEDx Talks 2 Comments

In this awesome TED talk learn how rope bondage can bring you closer to your partner(s)!

Click below to find out more!

How can being constrained set you free? | Tanja Rothenborg Scot | TEDxFrederiksberg

Tagged With: bdsm, bottom, fetish, kink, rope bondage, rope bunny, rope performance, rope play, shibari, Top

This week in kink: April 19, 2021

April 17, 2021 By Desdemona 2 Comments

Learn about Mistress Marley and how she makes a living via consensual, financial domination!

Copy the below url to find out more from The NY Times!

Making a Living at Financial Domination Online – The New York Times (nytimes.com)


Want to learn more about rope bondage?

Then, check out this awesome article about how to learn Shibari from your phone presented by Paper!


We as kinksters can, at times, feel alone and/or isolated.

However, we are NOT alone!

With this being said, check out these BDSM confessions from SW.

Click below to learn more!


Have some kinky news to share? Tell us about any upcoming BDSM events, new products, dungeon openings / closings, kink in mainstream media, and anything else you think kinky folks might be interested to hear about. Send your tips through to kinkweekly@gmail.com, and it might just end up on next week’s “This Week in Kink.”

Tagged With: bdsm, dominatrix, fetish, financial domination, kink, rope bondage, rope bunny, rope performance, shibari

Emotional Endurance and BDSM

April 10, 2021 By Baadmaster 2 Comments

hot lesbian rope bunnies
via stock.adobe.com

What would life be like without the bi-monthly covid-19 intros in my Ask BaadMaster series here on kink weekly.  (Did someone say, “A lot more fun!”) Well, it is looking more and more like these corona virus based intros will go the way of Sears fairly soon. With this in mind, I would like to start to make these articles more play based; after all, most of us have not been playing in public for the better part of a year.  And though your flogger might not rust, your play techniques will. With this in mind, here is a question I picked up which went to the heart of a play-based dilemma.  

Reader: I’ve practiced rope bondage for over two years (one pre-covid) on my female sub. Luckily, we live together and have been able to get in some play this last year.  But even before the pandemic,  she was begging for a long-term bondage scene, which is new for us. I’ve read about the physical logistics, but I’m more concerned about how it’ll affect her emotionally. She’s enthusiastic… but what if she’s not realistic about her limits?

Ordinarily, I would suggest you join a local dungeon and observe the play there and also talk about your desire to become a more skilled rope practitioner. The best way to learn anything is to listen to people who are skilled in that discipline. So that leaves playing in your home. But if you are into impact play or your sub is loud, you might have trouble with neighbors.  Besides, it is unlikely you have a fully stocked home dungeon. (Exception if you are the Fifty Shades guy.)  So until the dungeons reopen – and DomCon LA is now re-scheduled for mid August – a different strategy is called for. 

I would look at your current situation as though you are a beginner – even if you are familiar with these protocols. First, I would re-establish the importance of a safe word and a safe signal. Since you are concerned about emotional aspects of this scene, explain to her that she should err on the side of safety with respect to using her safe word or safe signal. Make it clear that should she use it, you will not be disappointed in her. Many subs try to avoid “safe-ing” as a matter of pride. But, this is usually in the physical context of pain thresholds. Here the Dom can always use his eyes and ears to see if he has been going too far; he does not have to rely solely on a safe word or signal. As there are no physical signs to see when you are concerned about psychological damage, you must explain to her that she will be your “eyes and ears” with respect to going over the line. And read some of the articles here to increase your general knowledge about BDSM. Use the remainder of this “time in exile” to raise your BDSM IQ!

Now onto play. Since you have expressed doubts in her ability to be realistic about her limits, and you cannot use your own eyes and ears to assess when you have gone too far, then you must use what I call the “thousand mile principle” with her. (“What is the  “Thousand Mile Principle,” you ask?) There is a Chinese saying that says, “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” Keeping this in mind, you can say that a long-term bondage scene is really just a series of short-term bondage scenes. Thus, you must approach this like a journey of a thousand miles. 

Your first step is to establish a temporal benchmark – a time frame that you know your sub has no problems with. Let’s say this benchmark is a half-hour. (It could be anything; since you have been practicing short-term rope bondage with your sub, you already know the length of time that has been safe to use with her.) Then add, incrementally, more and more time to your bondage scenes. You might start with half-hour increments. Thus, your next scene would be keeping her in rope bondage for an hour. Of course, all safe words and signals apply. After the scene, discuss it. See if the hour had any ill psychological effects. If she liked it and wants to go further into the world of long-term bondage, then add another half-hour to your next scene. Now, you are up to an hour and a half! You can keep adding half-hours to your scene. Eventually, you will get to some serious long-term bondage! Remember to discuss the scene with her immediately post-aftercare and again the next day, so you get some perspective from her. Ultimately, you will reach her true limit. 

When you get to her time limit, you might wish to throttle back on any time you plan on adding to the scene. In the example I have given you, you might wish to only add ten more minutes at a time. And, once you reach her hard limit, respect it.

Here is one additional piece of advice I offer. Use the stop-watch on your cellphone to time your scenes. Since you might lose track of time during the excitement (or demands) of your bondage sessions, set it to vibrate (which you should have in the dungeon anyway). Thus, you can time your scene which also will give you a kinda-sorta diary to keep track of your progress.

I am under no illusion that I am as good in play as I was before this pandemic started. I am not being overly humble; but “Pride cometh before a fall.” And since I do not plan on falling, I will not be filled with foolish pride.  One step back, two steps forward!


After a ten year run as head writer for the legendary bondage.com, and an equally long run as the host of the hit internet show “Baadmaster’s Dungeon,” we are pleased to welcome the one and only Baadmaster to KinkWeekly. His thoughts about all things BDSM will now appear regularly on these pages. From the mental aspects of D/s to the nuts and bolts of S&M play, Baadmaster will cover every facet of this ever expanding lifestyle.

Tagged With: bdsm play, bdsm relationship, bdsm scene, dominant, rope bondage, rope bunny, rope play, submissive

This week in kink: March 15, 2021

March 13, 2021 By Desdemona 2 Comments

Many are frustrated with the pandemic. It has affected many individuals’ careers and livelihoods.

With this being said, Dutch sex workers protest the lockdown and wish to return to work.

Click below to learn more from Harare!

Dutch Sex Workers Protest Against Lockdown, Demand Right To Return To Work

This week Shape gives readers the inside scoop on Shibari!

Click below to read more about the art of Japanese rope bondage!


LAist discusses how sex workers are gearing up for when the pandemic is behind us.

Like most industries, The Sex Work Industry will most likely forever be changed by the lockdown.

Click below to find out more!


Have some kinky news to share? Tell us about any upcoming BDSM events, new products, dungeon openings / closings, kink in mainstream media, and anything else you think kinky folks might be interested to hear about. Send your tips through to kinkweekly@gmail.com, and it might just end up on next week’s “This Week in Kink.”

Tagged With: bdsm, bdsm community, bdsm play, bdsm relationship, bdsm scene, consent, dominatrix, rope bondage, rope bondage performance, rope bunny, rope play, Sex Work Community, sex worker rights, sex workers, shibari

6 Of The Hottest Bondage Scenes To Watch When You’re Alone

February 20, 2021 By Adams Verses 2 Comments

Into bondage?

Identify as a rope bunny?

Find Shibari beautiful?

Then, check out this week’s awesome video that outlines the six sexiest bondage scenes from film and TV!

Tagged With: bdsm, bdsm scene, fetish, kink, power exchange, rope bondage, rope bondage performance, rope bunny, shibari

Metal Bondage 101

January 30, 2021 By PirateStan 2 Comments

sexy domme with handcuffs
via stock.adobe.com

In spite of the community’s attempts otherwise, the universal symbol for BDSM/bondage for most is a pair of handcuffs. In the vanilla world, handcuffs are a thing. I can’t even begin to count the number of people I’ve anecdotally encountered who have handcuffs hanging from their rear-view mirror. Then there are those who wear handcuff earrings, necklaces, and other jewelry who’re otherwise entirely vanilla. 

Which is crazy because, in so many ways, handcuffs suck; certainly they’re not a very good entry-point type for BDSM restraint. I’d generally consider them advanced play, as they have many disadvantages which could well turn people away from bedroom bondage play forever.


I’m as guilty as anyone who’s begun heir bondage activities by securing a girl with handcuffs. I acquired a pair of “real” handcuffs at one those pseudo headshops so prevalent in the ’80s. I played around with them, understanding the principle of double-locks, and even figured out how easy it was to open them with a paper clip. They were fascinating, an implacable way to bind someone, securely and inescapably.

A few days later I used them on my girlfriend and she had nothing good to say about them. I’d cuffed her hands behind her, gagged her with four strips of duct tape (even then I’d figured out  that duct tape gags required more than the single strip shown so popularly in movies and television) and began to enjoy some mutual fun. But, unlike the rope we’d used previously, she was not happy with these bonds.

The problem was, of course, lying down, they were horribly uncomfortable, pressing into both her wrists and  back. Additionally, they had virtually zero “wiggle room”; that is, there was no way to make herself anything resembling comfortable. And escaping was impossible.

Of course, it’s precisely that utter implacable inescapablity that can be the appeal for handcuffs and other metal restraints. There’s no chance of wriggling free; you’re locked up, utterly and completely fucked. You’re going to need to dance to your top’s tune or you’ll be staying this way, forever.


If you want to start with handcuff bondage, then it’s easy and safe to start your journey at WalMart, where they sell metal handcuffs in the toy department for $3.99. While these certainly aren’t secure, they’re a good entry point as they mimic the real deal pretty well. For more fun, buy a couple of pairs, maybe even a half-dozen, and lock them all on at once. 

If you find that appealing, then it might be time to move on to the real deal. While you may have any number of local merchants peddling them (those pseudo head shops still exist, and adult toy stores carry them as well; last I checked Spencer Gifts carries them as well), my personal go-to is HandcuffWarehouse.com. There you’ll find a mind-boggling array of cuffs, many of which you probably didn’t know existed.

They have the “normal” sort of cuffs you associate with police, but they also have any number of “hinged” or “solid” cuffs. Neither has the chain between them; the former have a hinge, and the latter are simply two loops which close over the wrists. Both offer a greater level of security than regular cuffs. But the fact that they’re so inflexible can offer an array of potential problems and dangers you should certainly consider before purchasing.

And then there are thumb cuffs, which can also be repurposed as toe cuffs. And any number of leg irons, waist chains, and antique-styled historical cuffs if you want to subject someone to the indignities of the past.

It should also be pointed out that they have a number of cuffs available in a variety of colors, and even offer free engraving!


There are a few basic rules for using metal restraints. First, keep keys handy at all times.  The majority of cuffs use the same universal key, and you can purchase extras very inexpensively. Many of the speciality or historic cuffs utilize a unique key. Do not lose this! 

Regardless of the cuffs, you do not want to have to release someone without keys. While you can, indeed, open regular cuffs with a paper clip, it can be difficult and time consuming. Meanwhile, speciality cuffs can be much trickier to jimmy. So, really, do not lose the keys!

Next, always double lock the cuffs. A regular cuff closes via a one-way ratchet; that is, it can be tightened easily, but not loosened. The double-lock prevents them from getting tighter. If someone’s wriggling around in a scene, the potential for them to accidentally tighten is great, and this will put an end to things very quickly. So you’ll want to double lock.

Finally, one of the best things about cuffs is their weight. It can be fun to collect a series of cuffs and stack them, leaving someone shackled in literally pounds of metal. It can be a heady experience, and a visually appealing one as well. But if you do this, do not leave the keyholes facing each other; stack them bottom to top. Trust me, if you leave the keyholes facing each other, you’re going to have a very difficult time unlocking them, and your sub will (wisely) never let you use cuffs on them again.


Damn, this article is already too long and I haven’t even gotten into more exotic metal restraints, such as fiddles, yokes, even gag-types such as branks or scolds bridles. Perhaps another article is warranted?

Regardless, metal restraints (or cuffs) can be a fun addition to your intimate playtime. As always, utilize common-sense safety precautions, but enjoy yourself while you explore consensual kink!


PirateStan has been involved in his local BDSM community since 2007, after having had a lifelong inclination towards it. He currently lives a contented life in Southeastern Virginia with his girl, zeirah, while working by day for a Major Metropolitan Publication. 

Tagged With: bdsm play, bdsm relationship, bdsm scene, bondage, bottom, handcuffs, metal bondage, power exchange, rope bondage, rope bunny, rope play, shibari, Top

  • Go to page 1
  • Go to page 2
  • Go to Next Page »

Primary Sidebar

Don’t miss out!

Get an email each week when new editions are online
We won't spam you, and you can
easily unsubscribe at any time

Sale – today only

Bondage kinks coffee mug

Put a smile on your face each morning

Support Kink Weekly on Patreon!

Become a Patron!

Help keep us online and get
epic good karma (and no ads)

Already a supporter? We love you! Visit here to enable ad-free browsing.

Get

Keep those heels on with shoe cuffs

Contribute

Want to feature your writing or photography on Kink Weekly? Are you an BDSM/sex expert or professional, and interested in being quoted in an article? Contact us

Archives

sexy blonde Domme with male submissive in straitjacket

Simple Mummification Fun!

By PirateStan Leave a Comment

Learn helpful mummification techniques in this week’s edition!

shibari male submissive bound

Why Excellent Submission Can Be Remarkably Illusive

By Ms. RikaLeave a Comment

Dive deep into submission with Ms. Rika in this week’s edition!

Footer

18 U.S.C. 2257 record keeping compliance statement
Always play
Safe Sane and Consensual

Copyright © 2023 · News Pro On Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in