shibari

How To Tie Up Your Own Breasts

November 1, 2020 By Dame TylerRose. 2 Comments

lesbians kissing, Shibari — via stock.adobe.com

I frequently see questions about how to play by one’s self. In this day and age of plague, it’s particularly important to take care of our own needs. I have always been able to do so, not relying on a partner to give me the pleasures I like most.

This article will cover a very simple self-tie for the breasts. This technique is for women who have more pendulous breasts. It’s not fancy. It doesn’t have to be fancy. We’re going for personal pleasure here, not a picture in an art book.

First, get some cheap cotton clothesline from the dollar store. Yes, I’m serious. You don’t need an expensive five dollar foot rope. In fact, the last rope I purchased was on clearance at Staples. You’re not going to be suspending yourself. Just tying up your tits. Cotton clothesline will do just fine.

Some people want to wash it when they get it. Some people don’t. Your choice. While washing, you can dye it as well. Just put liquid or powder dye into a bucket or a gallon size plastic zipper bag and soak it for a couple hours. Rinse, hang over the bathtub to dry if you don’t have a dryer in the house. (I live in NYC. No washer/dryer in the building. I don’t take my rope to the laundromat.)

Take a loose end and hold it under a breast, against your chest plate, so that the loose end is sticking out several inches. Wrap the rope around your breast two or three times, keeping close to the chest plate and laying the rope side by side as you wind outward. Cross over your loose rope once to hold it. You don’t need to knot it. It’ll hold by itself.

At this point, you don’t need to pull the rope very tightly. It will tighten as you go on.

Cross over to the other breast and wrap around the same number of times. Cross back to the first and wrap another two or three times, pulling a little tighter these rounds. Once more on the other side to keep it even.

If you want, you can go around the back of your neck before doing the next round.

You have to decide how solid you want your breasts to be. Bigger breasts will need more passes around to make them solid. Smaller ones will need fewer.

If you want to pass it around your back a few times, go for it. It’s your tie. Do what you want. It won’t get tangled. You won’t need scissors to get yourself out of it.

Around twelve to fifteen passes around each breast is enough to make my breasts fairly solid and balloon-like. Just let go of the rope. I’ve never had it slip loose on me. I just let it hang. Again, no knots.

How long you leave it on is up to you. I don’t like mine to get too discolored. I take a few pics and then engage in a second sensory play.

Using hands, cup and feel your breasts and the shape you’ve made them. Nipple play is going to feel very different. If you want the sensation of someone else stroking and pinching, put on a pair of nitrile or leather gloves. Or use the side of a pencil or wooden spoon.

While you’ve got the wooden spoon out, give your breasts a few light smacks. You might be surprised how much force is needed to give yourself a harsh pain. Use a fork to scratch. I’ve used metal knitting needles to strike them.

If you want to use a dildo, go get it. Or a vibe. Whatever. It’s your play session. No reason you can’t have an orgasm or three.

When you’ve had enough, hold the loose end you let out and unwind. Don’t unwind too fast. There will be releases of pressure as you go, and those can be as enjoyable as the rest of the play.

——–

TylerRose. is known as Dame Tyler in the NYC public SM/Fetish scene. She is an award-winning author who has written two “lifestyle”, four cartoon, and over 25 fiction books.

Read her books on her Amazon page — https://www.amazon.com/TylerRose./e/B00HCPLSP2

You can also find more of her OP/ED work in Fetlife: https://fetlife.com/users/305828

FB Fan Page — https://www.facebook.com/TylerRoseGethis/

Twitter — https://twitter.com/DameTyler or @DameTyler

She enjoys crocheting and baking, and will no doubt die with a thesaurus open on her thigh.

This week in kink: November 2, 2020

November 1, 2020 By Dexx 2 Comments

Need to spice up your relationship?

Curious about Shibari?

Has the pandemic brought to light that you need new ways to connect?

This has proven true for a lot of couples during these uncertain times.

With this being said, The Shibari Academy has brought couples closer together as it teaches people how to engage in Shibari safetly.

Click below to read more from PRNewswire!

Aftercare is often only thought of when engaging in BDSM and/or kink-related activities.

However, many people that engage in the more vanilla sexual actitivies may want and/or need aftercare as well.

Click below to learn more about this potentially essential aspect of sex from Well + Good!

Sexual Aftercare Isn’t Just a BDSM Thing—Here’s Why Everyone Should Try It

Domme recently brings sub on leash into LA market.

This became somewhat viral and a discussion on consent/whether it is appropriate to bring your kinks into public without the public’s consent ensued.

Decide for yourself by reading this interesting article from VICE!

Have some kinky news to share? Tell us about any upcoming BDSM events, new products, dungeon openings / closings, kink in mainstream media, and anything else you think kinky folks might be interested to hear about. Send your tips through to kinkweekly@gmail.com, and it might just end up on next week’s “This Week in Kink.”

BDSM Scene ideas – Bondage with leather

September 12, 2020 By PirateStan 2 Comments

My girl and I engage in a great deal of bondage play, the vast majority of it leading to either coitus or some form of mutual orgasm (multiples for her; alas, a single one for me). And while I can certainly appreciate the artistry and eroticism involved in the slow, determined application of elaborate ropework/shibari/kinbaku, the few times we’ve personally engaged in such activities we’ve found ourselves frustratingly stymied by the inevitable.

It’s like this; if it takes an hour to get her wrapped up in all that rope, it takes damn near and hour to get her out. With an equal amount of focus and attention. And while there may well be an erotic appeal to all that time involved in getting her wrapped up, when it’s time to get involved in some erogenic frenzy, we both want her freed from her bonds tout de suite. And it’s not as if we’re going to be taking a knife to those hemp ropes we both spent so much time and effort washing, conditioning, and treating.

Lia’s leather armbinder is tied above her

This being the case, we’ve found any number of quick alternatives which create both the close constriction she finds appealing, as well as the bondaged security on her which I crave. In short, they’re any number of quick bondages, easy on/easy off, although the former can be drawn out for an extended period for the previously mentioned erotic appeal.

Of course, I’ve already talked about several of those here; cling film, duct tape, zip ties, handcuffs, they all have their appeal, their advantages and disadvantages. Cling film, in particular, is especially versatile (notably when combined with duct tape) as it can be used for mummification-type bondages or cinched up into an improvised rope.

But the thing I’ve been using for the 30-some-odd years that I’ve been actively tying up intimate partners is leather, specifically belts, mittens, armbinders, and other assorted paraphernalia. And I have to say that during that time, I’ve accumulated quite a collection, one I wouldn’t recommend anyone try to duplicate in a short time (unless you’re Christian Grey levels of rich).

Simple arm and leg bondage with leather straps

I’ll take a quick time-out here to indicate that pretty much every girl I’ve bound in leather has found the experience to be extremely pleasurable, with many going directly into subspace. Additionally, those who’re otherwise experienced with rope found the leather bondage to be a very different one.

To start with, there are the belts. You can accumulate quite a collection from your local thrift store very inexpensively (one store in town has all of their belts priced at $2.00). You can use them for wrapping wrists, ankles, arms, and legs. Thin belts can be used to cinch the wider one for extra tightness (or you can just use shoelaces). It’s amazingly easy to make belts pleasurably tighter by tugging for that extra notch (it also isn’t a bad idea to acquire a leather punch to add holes along the entirety of your belts).

You can take your time wrapping your girl in belt after belt after belt after belt, creatively finding new places to strap them into place, always tugging them tighter and tighter until she’s practically bulging around them, like a sausage. And if she finds them to be too tight, it’s a very simple matter to loosen or remove them entirely without disturbing the integrity of the bondage as a whole.

India bound to a board with leather straps

Best of all, as your intimate play progresses, you can progressively, easily, remove strap after strap until she’s entirely free. At which point she’ll likely go crazy on you.

I moved on from thrift store belts some years back and these days almost exclusively utilize the “Lexus” of belts made by the inimitable “Leather by Danny” (https://leatherbydanny.com/shop/en/). Not only are his straps the best on the market, he also manufactures a back binder which makes securely adding multiple straps to someone’s upper body remarkably easy. I’ll personally vouch for the quality of his merchandise, as well as his personal service in standing behind his products.

I suppose it goes without saying that leather straps can be used quite effectively in combination with the inevitable leather cuffs most people keep in their toybags. These, combined with any of the myriad of carabiners and other connectors which are easily (and inexpensively) accumulated from your local hardware store leave you with a variety of opportunities limited only by your imagination.

Leather bondage mitts prevent Iona’s hands from being useful

Moving on from simple belts and cuffs, we get into more advanced bindings, such as gloves, mittens, armbinders, and armbags, all of which are rather pricey but which leave a girl hopelessly and helplessly bound. Some lace up, some buckle, some have both, but all have the advantage of keeping a gal’s mischievously probing hands and fingers well in check, amping up the frustration factor considerably.

Finally, for the ultimate leather bondage, there’s the bodybag, or sleepsack, which will keep someone tied-up, strapped in, and strapped down like some sort of leather mummy. Even I don’t have one of these… yet. Watch this space.

Mistress Ashley keeps her slave in a sleep-sack

In the end, leather bondage can be a lot of fun, a unique, pleasurable experience, easy-on and easy-off, and one which, while it can be tested inexpensively, can ultimately be a real budget buster. Give it a try and you may find those ropes collecting dust in no time.

PirateStan has been involved in his local BDSM community since 2007, after having had a lifelong inclination towards it. He currently lives a contented life in Southeastern Virginia with his girl, zeirah, while working by day for a Major Metropolitan Publication.

This week in kink news: September 14, 2020

September 12, 2020 By Dexx 2 Comments

A lot of universities are throwing events through the Let’s Talk About Sex series to de-stigmatize sexuality, BDSM, LGBTQIA topics, and so much more!

In our opinion this is a great thing for students to be exposed to.

NUS’s rope bondage event was recently cancelled that was put on by this series due to claims saying that the event “promoted violent sexual fantasies.”

Click below to learn more!

New California bill states that an individual doesn’t have to be labeled a sex offender if the age gap is less than ten years between offendee and offender.

The bill does not legalize sex with minors, but rather gives judges the ability to evaluate whether or not an individual be charged as a sex offender.

Click below to read more!

Victoria Rage, a Seattle-based Dominatrix, talks about her recent request due to the pandemic.

Click below to learn more about peoples’s creative fantasies during these times!

This week in kink: September 7, 2020

September 5, 2020 By Dexx 2 Comments

Into impact? Curious about being spank? Have a burning desire to consensually spank a partner?

Then you should check out this awesome list of paddles from Refinery29! Click below to learn more!

If you’re into documentaries and/or sex you won’t want to miss this extensive list of Netflix’s best sex documentaries brought to you by Decider After Dark.

Click below to get your sexual learning on!

https://decider.com/2020/08/28/best-sex-documentaries-netflix/#/

Fascintaed by Shibari?

If so, definitely check out this awesome article on Tension, Montreal’s Shibari studio!

Click below to learn the studio’s protocols and what they have to offer!

The Joy Of Bondage

August 23, 2020 By PirateStan 2 Comments

hot lesbians kissing shibari suspended — via stock.adobe.com

At this point in my life I’ve had the privilige of tying up, literally, dozens of gals (which is dozens more that I ever considered binding in my wildest dreams). I’ve bound young gals, old gals, thin gals, large gals, white gals, black gals, and pretty much every other type in between. I’ve tied flexi-gals who seemed capable of managing any sort of crazy pretzel tie you could conceive of, without flinchin; as well as gals with physical limitations such that they had to have their hands practically at their sides and could barely put their ankles together, and were still in pain.

Yes, I’ve bound lots of very different gals, but the one thing almost all of them had in common was the sheer joy and pleasure they took in being physically restrained in a consensual manner. And, inevitably, the more securely and tightly they were bound, the more they seemed to enjoy it.

Their faces light up in a huge grin, a primal joy and pleasure evident even if they’re wearing a gag. Alternately they fall into a blissful state of subspace, their faces neutral and slack as they find themselves face to face with something they never dreamed of experiencing.

It’s a high for them, but also one for me. Most guys only fantasize about bringing a gal to such a blissful state, and entirely too many gals fake that for the guy’s benefit. But when a gal gets tied, all artifice is removed, and a primal pleasure is brought to the fore, one that simply has to be experienced to be understood.

Certainly, I’ve tied more than one curious gal who wound up not finding the experience terribly enjoyable. Not every gal is craving bondage, whether they know it or not. Life’s menus comes in entirely too many varities to waste time indulging in something you don’t particularly care for.

As for the ones who do enjoy it, well I am at a loss. Perhaps it’s the thrill of the unknown, the rollercoaster which seems to send you plummeting to your death before pulling you suddenly out, that knowledge that you’re safe even as you crave that experience of utter helplessness.

As for myself, I’d spent entirely too many years in the vanilla dating scene, happy to merely find a gal who would *tolerate* being tied up, let alone one who’d love being tied as much as I enjoyed tying. Before the Internet was a thing, and if you lived in anything smaller than a big city, searching out bondage-inclined gals was a virtual impossibility (as was the opposite, I’m sure).

Of course, bondage has a rather wide appeal. Witness the number of kids who tie each other up, or check YouTube for all of the “bondage challenge” videos from people who otherwise consider themselves vanilla in the bedroom. Myself, I’ve bound a number of “bondage curious” gals who, after less than a half-dozen sessions, stopped enjoying the experience and moved on. One in particular, who I’m still in contact with 20 years later, jokes about it. Although, at the time, she certainly enjoyed it, having one of those expressions on her face.

As for my own girl, well, she’d been bondage curious her entire life, and had been tied up in a very limited fashion only very rarely. The first time we were together I tied her up in what I consider my “full monty” which anyone who’s experienced will tell you is an extremely tight and restrictive bondage. For her, it was a revelation, something she couldn’t wait to have more of. It was one of many things which cemented our relationship.

I take photos and video of her all the time, and my major complaint is that she looks too happy in most of them. She’s not a terrible actress, but needs to be coaxed to be either scared or angry in her secure bondage. She’s simply enjoying it too much.

The key is, some people love to bind, and some love to be bound. Indulge yourselves and enjoy life. There’s too much making us miserable that we shouldn’t take pleasure where we can.

This week in kink – July 20, 2020

July 19, 2020 By Dexx 2 Comments

“For me, the art of shibari lies in emotion. The ropes become a medium of communication.” In this article in Time Out, Hong Kong shibari artist Subay shares her perspective on rope, sexuality and emotions.

If you’ve checked out the new BBC TV series “Normal People”, you likely noticed it includes some sprinklings of kinky sex. This article on Redbrick argues that the show inaccurately portrays BDSM as “cruel, passive, and undesirable”.

https://www.redbrick.me/bdsm-is-it-for-normal-people/

A professor at a university in New Zealand has resigned following claims of “long-running conversations with colleagues on his intimate life and practising of Shibari”. Umm, ok. I get that nobody should be subject to sexual harassment at the workplace, but is this a case of kink discrimination? Would he have been made to resign if his colleagues had been discussing vanilla dating habits with him?

A Dominatrix went viral on Twitter for flogging her sub while making him say “Black women are superior”. Oh my…

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Have some kinky news to share? Tell us about any upcoming BDSM events, new products, dungeon openings / closings, collarings, kink in mainstream media, and anything else you think kinky folks might be interested to hear about. Send your tips through to kinkweekly@gmail.com, and it might just end up on next week’s “This Week in Kink.”

Interview with The Dark Arts

December 9, 2018 By slave_bunny 2 Comments

Witchy Pixie – https://www.instagram.com/witchy_pixie/

The Dark Arts-https://darkestarts.com/

How did you get your start in the lifestyle?

I was working on a production job a while back and met some people who were into the kink world and learned some stuff from them, mostly how different the actual kink world is than how it’s presented in movies and TV. I filed that information away in my mental memory banks and years later decided to start trying out some rope stuff with a few models. It ended up being fun and making for photos that were so much different than what I was doing up til then, so I kept learning, exploring and experimenting and things kinda snowballed.

What draws you to rope and bondage?

People standing around in clothing, underwear or naked is all fine and dandy, but rope is a less travelled road in terms of “something to put on a body to increase the aesthetic appeal” and it presents not only interesting things to look at from a decorative standpoint, but using the ropes to restrain or contort a body presents a whole new suite of visual options. Of course the tabooness of bondage is a factor too. There’s always something appealing about things that are seen as “forbidden” or “deviant” so that plays into it. Bondage or kink shouldn’t be taboo, and it would be great to live in a world where all forms of consensual art and/or sexuality are normalized, but for now there is that little extra spice in working with a medium that is seen this way.

Can you please describe your artistic process? What do you feel makes it unique?

There are a lot of people out there who do bondage photography, and I really make an effort to make my work stand out as unique in that genre. I think a hallmark of my style is that I really try to focus my images on the full body. I rarely crop out legs or shoot angles that obscure portions of a person. I tend to stand back and get the entire person in there with as blank of a background as possible. Obviously sometimes it’s impossible to have a solid color background when I am not in the studio, but I do my best to clear everything that’s not bolted down out of the frame. The other thing I try to make a signature is the use of lighting and color. I’m always thinking of new flash techniques or color combinations to make things look weird, alien or really pop off the screen.

What do you hope to accomplish with your work?

I’d love to be able to make a living off this, but photography is a tough racket anyway, and bondage photography is even harder. As with most things it boils down to who you know and who among the small number of companies or individuals who can pay for content want to pay you. I pull in a little money from my Patreon, and the book may end up turning a small profit when it’s all said and done, but it would be awesome to be hired to do this.

What does your book Light/Shadow/Color hope to show its viewers? Is there an

underlying message?

I suppose the main message is that bondage is beautiful and all bodies are beautiful. So much of bondage is contained to images of thin, young white and asian women and that alienates so many people of different genders, sizes, ages and colors. I do my best to shoot all kinds of people and show all kinds of bodies. Of course the vast majority of people who model are younger, thinner women, and a lot of men who contact me to shoot come across as really creepy or weird (asking me to find female models to shoot them with, etc…) so my body of work is not as diverse at I’d like it to be, but I try!

Is there a link between your work and your personal life? If so, what is it?

I keep my personal life pretty separate from my kink persona, but I will say that I absolutely incorporate kink into my private life. I am by no means a lifestyle kinkster or anything, and wouldn’t want to be, but I absolutely use my rope and kink skills in my personal relationships.

Can you give some photography Do’s and Don’ts?

Shoot a ton! I always go into a shoot with the expectation that I’ll only get a small number of good finished shots but I shoot a ton of each tie. The more you shoot of a setup, the higher the chances you’ll get a few that look amazing. It’s also important to make the model feel comfortable. If your intentions are to get some ass from a shoot, the model will smell that like stink on shit, so just… don’t. Be up front about everything from the get-go and be chill and easy going. Don’t make sexual jokes, don’t touch models in weird ways, don’t use pet names or compliment their boobs or butt. Use your damn head! Literally every shoot I do eventually gets to the point where we talk about all the creepy photographers they’ve shot with. Don’t be in those conversations! If a model is comfortable they will give you amazing photos even if they are not pros. Just being relaxed allows them to move more freely, make eye contact, not come across tense. Lastly, ease up on the damn skin filters! I know that a lot of people are self conscious about their appearance, but some photographers really overdo it on the filters and make people like like plastic.

What is the most challenging thing about your work?

For some reason it’s shooting in LA. I don’t know why, but I have had so many flakes and no-shows there. Must be something in the water. Beyond that it’s trying to not get burned out by shooting or getting bored. Sometimes it feels like I’m shooting the same stuff over and over, but that doesn’t last long. I do scale back shooting sometimes to get other things done in life, but usually shoot with some kind of regularity.

What do you feel your work reveals about you as a person?

I keep kind of mysterious as a person, but I imagine that people see my work and imagine a person who is very creative and principled with technique and style. THey may also see me as kind of a smartass if they follow my Instagram stories where I mess with all the dumbasses who message me thinking I am the models in my photos.

Are you currently working on any new projects? If so, what are they?

The book was just launched, so that’s the big project right now. There’s nothing else planned for a while other than more shooting and trying to think of new things to do!

Where can individuals view/purchase your work?

My website is the place to buy my book. I post all my work on Patreon, every photo! So if you want to see everything I do, Patreon is the place to do it for a very small monthly pledge. I also sell prints through email. I tried to make a self-service print site once and literally NOBODY ordered one after like two months so I closed it. It cost money to maintain and was not worth it. So now if anybody wants a print all they have to do is email me!

What is your overall goal as an artist? How do you plan to accomplish this?

My only real goal is to stay interested. If I lose interest I will stop doing it. If I can make some actual money with this then awesome, but that’s not necessarily a goal given how difficult that is.

Any closing thoughts?

Not really. I’m just happy to have the fans I do and like providing something fun and cool for people to enjoy in this otherwise trash fire of a world we live in!

About The Dark Arts

The Dark Arts is a Washington State based rope bondage rigger and photographer. They got into the art of shibari five years ago after being hired to shoot some people at a local kink club, began experimenting with the art form and soon was creating bondage imagery not seen very much from other people working in the bondage scene. The Dark Arts is constantly pushing the envelope of visual style, trying to incorporate bold colors and lighting and seeking diverse models that one generally doesn’t see in shibari photography. They strive to show all genders and bodies in rope, bucking the tradition of only putting petite white and Asian women in rope. LIGHT/SHADOW/COLOR is their first book and compilation of work.

Links:
https://darkestarts.com
https://www.patreon.com/thedarkarts
https://instagram.com/darkartsphoto/

Interview with Shay

November 5, 2018 By slave_bunny 3 Comments

How did you get your start in the Kink Community? What drew you to this lifestyle?

I came into the kink community in 2003, when my partner Stefanos and I were living in Minnesota. Prior to that, Stefanos had been involved in fetish event production, and we’d both done kinky bedroom play for pretty much as long as we’d been having sex. We were also both Live Action Role Players (LARPers), which is how we met, and that’s pretty damned kinky in our books! We started to go to Minnesota munches and play events, and met our mentor Koroban. That was very much the beginning of my time in the kink community.

Can you elaborate on your work in the community? What projects are you currently working on?

I recently finished getting selfsuspend.com up and running, and my biggest project right now is working on writing a book on self-suspension… which is incredibly time-consuming! I’m very inspired by “creating the work I want to see in the world” – when I first started with self-suspension, there were very few online resources, and no classes or mentors in my area. I ended up taking content from a partnered suspension context and adapting it myself, and basically being self-taught in a lot of areas. I try to think about what content would have been helpful for me when I was a curious beginner, and working on getting that information out there in a more accessible way.

You teach a wide range of subjects – can you talk about your process for developing classes?

Most of my classes are co-taught with my partner Stefanos, and our class list has developed slowly over the years. We were first inspired to present when we came back from Shibaricon (a large rope convention in Chicago). At the time we were part of a small Minnesota community that didn’t have much by way of formal classes available. Members of the youth group we were part of asked us to share our bondage knowledge, and our Remedial Ropes classes were born. Many of our classes have come about this way – a friend will tell us that they love watching us do cutting, or playful BDSM scenes, or pick-up play, and will ask “hey, can you teach me how to do that?” Due to my professional knowledge, I’m asked to present on medical and safety topics pretty frequently.

Generally our process has been that we start with broader classes, and then divide them into more focused classes as we hone the content. We presented locally, first in Minnesota and then in San Francisco, starting in 2005. We didn’t travel to present at our first convention until 2011, so we really took our time presenting and developing our classes on the local level before taking the “show on the road” as it were!

What is your favorite class to present, and why?

I’ve been super into presenting self-suspension, especially when I can make an afternoon intensive of it. I’ve worked really hard to make the content as accessible as possible – my goal is for everyone in the class to self-suspend and feel really good and accomplished having had that successful experience. My first exposures to shibari-style rope suspension made me feel really crappy and inadequate, like I wasn’t a worthy rope human, and I’m trying to give folks and experience of success and fun in their own ropes!

When I’m presenting with my partner Stefanos, our favorite class is It’s a Trap: Playful Scenes and Non-Bondage Predicaments. It’s a very demo-heavy class, and we usually have at least three stunt bottoms working with us, which always creates a fun and unique energy.

Do you structure your classes or just go off the cuff?

Our classes are ridiculously structured! I have detailed, pages long outlines that I print off and work from, which even includes the amount of time to spend on each subject. Of course, within that there is still quite a bit of space and each class is still unique and different – it’s an outline, not a script! For example, the outline might list that we have ten minutes to demo and discuss a toy ordering game as a negotiation tool, so that’s the broad strokes, but the exact execution of that will vary each time.

You’re known for your self-suspension performances, as well as curating shows that include kink and bondage performance. In your opinion, what makes for a great performer?

The biggest thing I’m always pushing performers to do is to create shorter acts. Less really is more! It’s hard to do a short performance, because it makes you really hone down your presentation, but putting in the work makes you really polished and focused. I always think about this quote from Woodrow Wilson, when he was asked how long it takes him to prepare a speech: “It depends. If I am to speak ten minutes, I need a week for preparation; if fifteen minutes, three days; if half an hour, two days; if an hour, I am ready now.” I’m interested in the TED-talks of bondage performances, and it takes a different level of preparation. If you’re doing a scene on stage and want to take 45 minutes, that’s fine (and some folks certainly prefer that type of performance, I’m not here to Twue Way on this), but that’s a very different type of performance than the acts I do, curate, and enjoy as an audience member. IMHO, there is a difference between “scene rope” and “performance rope” and I enjoy pushing the boundaries of that distinction.

What keeps you coming back to perform within the community?

There’s something so satisfying about coming up with a concept, music, costumes, and routine for a performance, just creating all that out of nothing at all and then getting to execute it on a stage is just incredible. When I first started doing rope performance, the vast majority of what I saw in terms of bondage on stage was shibari-style, men topping women… and I wanted to represent something outside of that. I’ve been performing (and creating performances) since childhood dance classes, so it’s something that’s always been part of my life. In addition, I’ve come to embrace that my “core kink” is exhibitionism. I don’t do much private play at all – I love being watched, so being on stage also feeds that!

How would you recommend that newcomers get started with learning bondage?

For folks just starting with rope, we do think that you can get a lot of basic safety information online, including sites like RemedialRopes.com. Mentoring and taking in-person classes is optimal, once you start to actually tie – many areas have rope classes, munches, or peer-led events. To supplement your in-person instruction, consider sites like KinkAcademy.com, which is a great place for tons of videos. Many instructors offer private lessons, as well, which is a great option if that is affordable for you. Get references on specific instructors and classes if you can – not all bondage instructors teach or tie in a style that will be a match with your bondage and/or learning preferences. I really recommend self-tying as a way to start – it teaches you about both rope topping and rope bottoming, and is a wonderful way to learn!

Can you give advice for individuals that want to learn new hard and soft skills? Dos and don’ts?

Don’t be afraid to learn online and from videos. I got most of my early suspension bondage education from YouTube – don’t let the rope snobs tell you that’s not a valid resource! I always recommend in-person instruction, but it’s not possible or accessible for everyone all the time, so videos can be a great way to supplement that. Also along those lines: DO get your information from multiple sources! Having someone mentor you in person, and also taking a few classes, and also reading some books, and also watching videos is optimal IMHO. You want to get a variety of perspectives and approaches!

What events are next on your schedule?

I’m producing the bondage and kink performance event Twisted Windows on the Friday of Folsom weekend (9/28) here in San Francisco, as well as numerous other local events (BENT, Self-Suspension Open Space, Master’s Den, etc). I help with programming for Dark Odyssey: Surrender, which is a weekend hotel kink conference in San Francisco, and am getting geared up for that event, as well as starting to plan 2019 travel!

About Shay and Stefanos

Stefanos & Shay are a vivacious, unconventional D/s couple whose entertaining, information-packed classes have been called “better than a Vegas act.” They identify as pansexual polyamorous playsluts, purveyors of perversion, and alliteration fetishists! They are based in San Francisco, where they host over 60 events a year (including BENT, Twisted Windows, Master’s Den, Self-Suspension Open Space, & Bondage-a-Go-Go) and were named King & Queen of Pervert’s Prom in 2006!

Shay is a medical professional by day, education director for Dark Odyssey: Surrender and writer/creator of bondage safety repositoryRemedialRopes.com by night, as well as a prominent self-suspender known for unique, dynamic rigs and prodigious performances. Stefanos is all kink all the time as DM & CEO of Bondage-a-Go-Go, event manager at the SF Citadel, and former Producer/Steward of The Upper Floor on Kink.com.

Stefanos & Shay have performed, presented, and hosted around the country and internationally, including at Dark Odyssey (Winter Fire, Surrender, & Fusion), Rome BDSM Conference, Thunder in the Mountains, KinkFest, RopeCraft, Northwest Leather Celebration, Westcoast Bound, San Francisco State University, Stanford University, OpenSF, Kinky Kollege, Beyond Leather, the SF Citadel, Mission Control, Center for Sex and Culture, the Exotic Erotic Ball, International Ms Leather, BayCon, COPE, Mischief in May, Folsom Fringe, and Cum & Glitter. They’ve also been featured on KinkAcademy.com, PassionateU.com, BehindKink, Discovery Channel’s Oddities, Skin Two, KinkUniversity, and in over half a dozen documentaries across the world.

For more from Stefanos & Shay, check out their bondage safety web site and the site for Twisted Windows, their kink performance event in San Francisco!

Shay also created a self-suspension web site! If you’d like to learn self-suspension, you can check out articles, video tutorials, and much more. Contact Shay for more information about self-suspension.

You can watch a video of one of our performances here

Stefanos was interviewed by Vice regarding Bondage-a-Go-Go and the SF kink scene — watch the interview here.

Interested in booking Stefanos & Shay to present or perform at your event? Contact us!

Be sure to check out their website too!

https://www.stefanosandshay.com/

10 tips for shibari beginners

October 22, 2018 By Baadmaster 2 Comments

The title of this article, “Shibari Made Easy,” is really just a tease. Obviously, this would be more like, “Learn Brain Surgery In One Hour.” But now that I have your attention, I can help you have fun with rope bondage right out of the box!

Here at kinkweekly.com, we have spotlighted a video on Shibari —www.kinkweekly.com/photography/french-shibari-rope-hogtied/ Yes, it looks intimidating. And to learn Shibari, I suggest you study with a Rope Master if you wish to learn this incredible art form. Surely, it cannot be explained in one article. As to where you can find a Shibari instructor, I recommend you contact your local BDSM dungeon and talk to them. It is something that will require more than book knowledge; hands-on instruction will surely be the order of the day if you wish to start to learn this amazing skill.

That being said, I can give you some quick general rope bondage tips and concepts to get your feet wet in the world of rope bondage. And if you are a younger lifestyler, where many people understandably want instant BDSM gratification, this article can get you up and running pretty quickly – not full blown Shibari — if you follow my guidelines.

Keep in mind that you don’t have to be a Rope Master to do a fantastic rope bondage scene. If you follow these ten basic precautions you can start almost immediately.

Best you start out at a reputable dungeon where you can observe and ask questions in addition to playing.
If at a dungeon, ask the Dungeon Monitor if you have any questions.
Have a safe word and safe signal. Negotiate all limits beforehand.
Don’t cut off circulation. Check to see that one finger fits between the bonds and the skin.
If you see skin discoloration, or other signs of severe discomfort, stop the scene whether the submissive safes or not.
If your partner is experiencing numbness and/or is unable to move an extremity, cut them out from the rope bondage immediately.
Don’t put rope around the neck, ever.
Never leave a bound submissive alone, ever.
Have bandage scissors at the ready.
Don’t forget aftercare.

Rope tips: Use half inch or even 5/8th inch nylon rope to start with. This can be purchased at any “Home Depot” type store. I would caution against hemp, sisal or some of the harder ropes. The thicker nylon ropes have more “give” and thus are well suited for beginners.

Scene suggestions for those new to rope bondage: To get your feet wet in bondage, you might start by tying a submissive to a chair. This is probably the easiest rope bondage scene imaginable. You start by tying one arm, then proceed to the other one. This surely isn’t Shibari. But it is easy to do right out of the box, so to speak. Just observe the listed safety precautions and tie away. Add a blindfold and you have the makings of a very hot scene!

Tying a sub to any stationary object is quite similar to tying her/him to a chair. Some rope, a little common sense, some basic safety precautions and you are good to go.

If you go to a dungeon, using rope to tie a submissive to a St. Andrew’s Cross can be exciting – and quite dramatic. Once the slave is tied to the cross, the fun begins. If you are at a dungeon, you can ask anyone there about basic rope ties. If you are at a loss, just cuff your submissive and then tie the cuffs to the cross with ropes. This is a great way to introduce you and your submissive to the world of rope bondage. Again, it might not be Japanese rope bondage, but it can be a lot of fun!

Finally, if you have a female submissive, one of the most popular bondage activities is good old breast bondage. Once again, it is pretty easy to do – but make sure you stop if the breasts become discolored or the bottom safes. Better safe than sorry.

Rope bondage in all its forms – from light to heavy to simple rope ties to Shibari — is truly an art form that takes “a minute to learn, a lifetime to master.” And, you can have a lot of fun doing it during that lifetime!

About the Author

After a ten year run as head writer for the legendary bondage.com, and an equally long run as the host of the hit internet show “Baadmaster’s Dungeon,” we are pleased to welcome the one and only Baadmaster to KinkWeekly. His thoughts about all things BDSM will now appear regularly on these pages. From the mental aspects of D/s to the nuts and bolts of S&M play, Baadmaster will cover every facet of this ever expanding lifestyle.

shibari

The Dark Arts-https://darkestarts.com/

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