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Netflix Original Gerald’s Game – BDSM to Save a Marriage?

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I watched the new Netflix thriller “Gerald’s Game” over the weekend.  It’s the one with the poster showing the lead character (played by Carla Gugino) chained the a bed with handcuffs wearing a sexy slip.  Yeah, now you know the one I mean.

So the movie is actually very good, and I recommend watching it.  But I want to address the kink-related aspect of it – don’t worry this doesn’t really contain any spoilers, this only relates to the first 10 minutes of the movie.

The Scene

We have this scene where the husband (Gerald) and the wife (Jessie) start to play with some bondage.  But everything about it is the antithesis of what BDSM should be about – let me count the ways.

He surprises her with the handcuffs that he brought along on their romantic getaway to  a remote lakehouse.  Based on their conversation, they had experimented with bondage previously and he realized that she wasn’t into it, but went along with it to please him. Gerald persuades Jessie to let him handcuff her and at first she is ok with it. And then he starts doing a series of things which they had not discussed or negotiated previously: biting, intruder roleplay, covering her mouth, daddy dom roleplay (which is evidently a trigger for her). Before too long Jessie tells him she doesn’t like it, and tells him several times to stop. He stops once only after she kicks him, then tries again and only stops when she bites his lip.

Sadly, it seems a pretty realistic portrayal of a kinky partner doing all the wrong things to try and get a vanilla partner to try BDSM. I suspect arguments like these have unfolded in bedrooms all across the country.

If you want to introduce kink to your vanilla relationship, then open communication should be the starting point.  Talk about what you want, establish some parameters, and agree a safe word. Once in-scene, don’t coerce your partner into doing things they don’t want to do, and for fuck’s sake don’t shame them if they want to stop or use their safeword.  If it turns out that you and your partner just aren’t compatible in terms of kink needs, I recommend this article about kinky people dating vanilla.

Final thought – if you are going to put someone into inescapable bondage in an isolated place, even if it is otherwise safe & consensual, consider worst case scenarios and make sure that someone knows where you are how to check in with you.

Writer, photographer, hedonist, Dom. After years of at-home BDSM, Dexx finally embraced the kink community and met many fantastic fellow kinksters in the scene. Along the way, it occurred to him that it would be just super if there was a magazine-style web site which catered to people interested in BDSM, and he recruited some of his friends to help create it. Find him here.

Review: Locking / buckling wrist cuffs

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red cuffs stockroom

Dexx says:

Stockroom was kind enough to send us these leather cuffs to review, so we thought it would be rude not to strap anniebear into them and give her a good spanking. I can confirm that she was held firmly in place and despite some considerable moaning and squirming, she was quite unable to escape… mission accomplished.

These cuffs are part of the standard line of bondage accessories produced by Stockroom, hence the fairly plain sounding product name. They come in a range of colors, including black, pink, and red. We got the red ones, which look quite distinctive and never fail to attract a compliment when being used at a play party or dungeon.

The cuffs have a 2 inch wide main body which fit around the wrists, and then taper to thinner sections at either end. What this achieves is that the thin part can be tucked through and wrapped around the entire wrist. When compared with more traditional style cuffs, you get a much more comfortable and snug fit, and they are also especially robust and secure. Short of some heavy duty fabric shears, there’s no escaping these guys until the top says so!

The buckle features a loop, which allows you to attach padlocks to keep them properly locked if desired. There is also a sturdy D-ring, which is handy for attaching the cuffs to bed posts, dungeon furniture, or each other.

It took a couple of goes to fully understand how to loop them through to close them properly. But overall, these cuffs are sturdy, soft and reliable and I can see then becoming a regular feature of my toy box.

red cuffs ladder

anniebear says:

I love the helplessness of bondage – it intensifies the power exchange of D/s play and helps me get into a great headspace. If you haven’t had a good spanking while helpless and bound, you haven’t lived.

Leather cuffs like these are great for fast and practical bondage. They may not have the same sensual art as rope bondage, but they get the job done.

There are enough size options that you should be able to get them closed nice and snug, but with enough room so that they are comfortable and don’t inhibit blood flow etc. I had them attached to a loft ladder pulling my wrists high and wide, and they are wide enough that I was comfortable in this position for at least 15 minutes. They aren’t suspension cuffs, so I wouldn’t want them taking my body weight, but fine for holding the weight of my arms.

I love the striking red that these ones came in. They come in some other colors too – I wouldn’t mind trying out the pink ones some time. There are also matching ankle cuffs which I bet would go great with a spreader bar – looking forward to testing those out another time. You can get this this exact pair from Stockroom. Make sure to come back and let us know what you think!

Product Spotlight: The Versatility of Bondage Cuffs

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Wrist cuffs by Masterbind
Wrist cuffs by Masterbind

Not enough can be said about bondage involving leather cuffs and straps. Bondage cuffs are often one of the first things a newbie gravitates toward when they’re just starting out (after fuzzy handcuffs of course ;). I think this is due to not only the versatility but also the immediate headspace that the wearing of cuffs and collars brings to the submissive or bottom. If you’re able to get creative with your bondage, you can wow your submissive and not break the bank by having to buy a hundred other toys at the same time.

This week we’d like to introduce you to “The Master,” the mastermind behind Masterbind (see what I did there?). If you’re looking to graduate from those Velcro cuff starter sets, this is the place to start and end. Master makes by hand each and every order per specified measurements. This means you can customize your cuffs to fit your specific submissive. Just looking for a catchall set to play with more than one person? The Master can advise you on the best sizing option or make an adjustable set. The best part about Masterbind, he doesn’t use stitching on any of his products. This means you can pull, push, and hang and they won’t give or rip. The Master says, “I build them to be extremely durable with the best leather around and solid hardware, these are meant for a lifetime of heavy use.” If you’re anything like my partner Dexx, this is a definite plus!

I’ve seen and experienced personally a number of creative methods for the use of bondage cuffs, check it out:

Immobilization
Strap up your submissive in a pair of sturdy leather cuffs, link them together in front (or back if you’re extra “evil) and lead them around like that for the night. Don’t unhook them even if they go to use the restroom. Pass them off to a trusted friend to “watch” for a few minutes. Put a pair on their ankles and link those together to limit mobility. From personal experience, it’s extra humiliating to have to shuffle around all night long getting caned for being too slow. Ahhhh the memories!

Cuffs with a leather connector from Masterbound
Cuffs with a leather connector from Masterbound

Make sure they can’t get away
When you’re ready for some fun play time, you can hook your slave up to any old hardpoint around with the use of carabineers or connectors. Usually dungeon furniture and St. Andrews crosses come equipped with these for easy attachment. Do you have a squirmy slave? All you need is a sturdy pole or column, place their back to it, and link their wrists behind them. No getting out of that.

Forget neckties and handcuffs
Cuffs are great in the bedroom. Loop a piece of chain or rope around a bed post or headboard through the cuffs links and your submissive is good to go…or not go anywhere rather. If your bed doesn’t have anywhere to hooks cuff, get creative and put your submissive on the floor hooking them to the bed leg.

Wacky ways to trap your submissive
Lay your submissive on their back and link the ankle cuffs to the wrist cuffs using a hogtie connector. This exposes some sensitive areas allowing easy access. If you have a hard point up above, you can even tie then to that, creating extra discomfort and exposure. There is also the traditional hogtie laying them on their stomach and reaching the arms back to connect the wrists to the ankles. I advise that this is not for the faint of heart and requires some amount of flexibility so use caution!

Don't know how to use rope? Get a hogtie connector and save yourself the hassle. Photo from Masterbind.
Don’t know how to use rope? Get a hogtie connector and save yourself the hassle. Photo from Masterbind.

I hope this gave you some devious ideas to pull from for your next scene. We’d love to hear about it in the comments!

Masterbind cuffs and accessories are available online via his store.

Mummification

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girl in hood

In our BDSM, kinky world, mummification refers to the complete immobilization of the bottom. Although, in this article, I will describe “saran wrap” mummification, technology has given us other tools for this type of play – most notably vacuum body bags. Although vacuum play renders the bottom immobile and is rather effective from a play point of view, the saran wrap variety is much more visual and gets more “wows” at a play party.

Saran wrap mummification is fun, easy and inexpensive. It places the bottom in a situation of powerlessness and sensory deprivation which allows him to float off, forget problems, and offer complete trust to the Top. The Top derives enjoyment and satisfaction from the sense of total control and from the pleasure he/she is giving the bottom.
For saran wrap mummification you’ll need about 75 feet of this (avoid thinner brands that keep tearing as you work) and a few yards of duct tape (silver is OK, but red and black are flashier). You can get the big rolls – in many colors – from the U-Haul store and/or Home Depot.

A second Top is very handy for keeping the bottom from falling. This is the bottom’s greatest fear, and he/she must be reassured verbally as well as physically that this will not happen.

In this basic article, we will not discuss advanced elements such as using gags, catheters, or breathing tubes during mummification. The following precautions can be violated only if you are very experienced with measures necessary to ensure the safety of the bottom.

1. Have “safety scissors” on hand in case you must quickly cut the bottom out; note that this is not a quick operation. [Safety scissors, which have one blunt end, can be obtained at surgical supply or fetish stores.]
2. Leave both nasal and mouth passages open to assure no breathing problems. Since the submissive can’t move, check often to be sure the bottom does not begin to choke.
3. Be sure the bottom has urinated if the scene will be long.
4. Put some type of padding (such as cotton) between the bottom’s knees and ankles if they touch when his/her legs are together. Otherwise the tight bindings will eventually cause unwanted discomfort.
5. For longer scenes, offer water to the bottom periodically to prevent dehydration due to excessive sweating. Have towels ready when you unwrap him/her.
6. If he/she begins to panic, especially when in a head mask, comfort and reassure him/her as you quickly uncover his eyes and remove the mask. Having the bottom count slowly from 10 to 1 out loud may restore calmer breathing.
Do not rush your mummification. Wrapping with saran wrap is a major event, not just a preliminary to a scene. It can easily take 30 minutes, and longer if you like, especially if accompanied by verbal commentary.

Instead of duct tape, you might do an upper body “overwrap” using colored wrap. You could also add rope decorations or make a rope harness. Use your ingenuity. But keep checking on the bottom for safety.

Another rather impressive way to wrap your mummy is in cloth — just like a real Egyptian mummy! Horse supply stores often carry “Standing Bandages,” which look much like ace bandages. A package of 4 rolls, each 12 feet long, costs less than $30 (you’ll need 2 packages). Get the 5.5-inch width if possible. Black is especially stunning.

Emergence, as it is called, is when you free the “mummy” from the wrapping. Be sure to maintain support when you unwrap him/her (or cut the submissive out with safety scissors), unless he/she is lying down. Unwrap slowly; too often the ending of a scene is not given the attention it deserves and requires. Have toweling ready to dry him/her, as the sub will likely be sweating profusely. Hold him/her, hug him/her and gently talk the submissive back to earth – much like any aftercare.

Mummification is not only makes for a great scene for both top and bottom, but is also a terrific crowd pleaser in public play. Although this article is far from a complete guide to mummification, if you are cautious and observant, you can have a great scene even on the first try!

Chastity for Everyone! Part Two

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metal leather cuffs

Read part one here.

Let’s start with a BDSM riddle: “A Master asks his slave to spank him. Does this change the D/s dynamic?”
The answer, at least to this observer, is that it likely won’t. Although the slave might not have signed on to be a pain-giver, he/she will probably grin and “just do it.”

In this brave new world of gender – and even play – fluidity, it is likely that this will not harm a solid M/s relationship. And this will enable Doms to partake in BDSM activities that have usually been reserved for bottoms. If there is a solid M/s dynamic, a relatively minor request such as “spank me” should not harm a good relationship. Master stays Master, slave – even if he/she doesn’t like spanking the Master – remains slave. (One should, however, discuss this beforehand and find out if being a spanker is a hard limit.)

But what if the Master wants to partake in more extreme activities that have traditionally been reserved for slaves or submissives? One such area is chastity. As anyone who has abstained from sex knows, orgasms after “time off” can be extremely pleasurable. In last week’s “Chastity For Everyone Part I,” I postulated in that the reason chastity play is gaining popularity – with many subs paying Pro-Dommes substantial fees to experience it – is because it is an orgasm magnifier; sex is a supremely powerful motivator. After all, we are hedonists and most lifestylers are constantly trying to find new and exciting ways to unleash a super orgasm. (For the purposes of this article, I will not cover the mental aspects of chastity play, such as humiliation.)

While asking a submissive to spank the Master is no big deal in the larger scheme of things, requesting your slave to “put this cock cage on me” would be a bridge too far for most Masters and slaves. Since the title of this article is “Chastity For Everyone,” how do we enable the Master to experience the extreme pleasure of chastity without his brain shorting out?

The answer, surprisingly, lies in the “Coors Light” principle. Herein, you sacrifice some taste for a less caloric beverage. A compromise. Realistically, true chastity play, especially one with humiliation and other verbal aspects mixed in, only works for slaves and submissives. Masters and Mistresses will simply miss out on full blown, extreme chastity play. But that is much the same as missing out on a Rolls Royce. Likely, I will not own one. But that does not mean I cannot enjoy a Lexus. Thus, to approximate some of the “super orgasmic” aspects of chastity play, the Master can design a “Chastity Light” scenario. (Of course, we are discussing those M/s unions where sex is an integral part.)

Obviously, the Master can devise “Chastity Light” play any way he desires. The easiest and most effective way is to avoid having sex with your slave for an extended period of time. You can do all the other BDSM scenes – even allowing your slave to cum with, say, a Hitachi. But whatever your natural point of self-abstinence and getting terminally horny is, go way past it. As the Master, you can push the envelope to whatever level you feel most comfortable with. After all, the beauty of this approach is that the Master makes the rules – even for self-chastity.

This is uncharted territory – and just one way to plan an adventure into chastity play for the Dom. The only limits are the hard limits of your slave and the limits of your imagination.

But experimenting with new and exciting play concepts is one of the best aspects of being in the BDSM world!

By BaadMaster
After a ten year run as head writer for the legendary bondage.com, and an equally long run as the host of the hit internet show “Baadmaster’s Dungeon,” we are pleased to welcome the one and only Baadmaster to KinkWeekly. His thoughts about all things BDSM will now appear regularly on these pages. From the mental aspects of D/s to the nuts and bolts of S&M play, Baadmaster will cover every facet of this ever expanding lifestyle.

In bondage…

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Photographer: Vice Erotica Model:VTKinkster

Suzanne_039

She was a willing “victim,” luxuriating under the attention of the camera. Her eyes gave away so much yet kept that little bit hidden as evidenced by her slight smile.

Kali’s Embrace

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Photographer: JJ MacCrimmon Model: Kali Rose

The honeyed light of candles spilled softly across her skin leaving shadows and stories in their wake. Patchouli, sandalwood and benzoin incense smoke trails swirled over her embracing her like gentle spirits drifting over her lean figure on the bed. The brazier of soft burning charcoal heated the room so her mostly bare, almond oil massaged skin was warm. She reveled in the sensations, the smells and warmth and the special embrace which held her.

An hour ago she agreed to his request. He’d explained in detail about the feelings she’d likely experience. He was an artist and needed her posed and poised in ways she’d never been before. As her clothes fell away in the candle-lit studio, her anxiety and hesitance dropped away with them as well. This was something she wanted, ‘the embrace.’

Kali 011 FCa

JJ MacCrimmon is a professional photographer and educator based out of Huntsville, AL. His model, show, and event photography has appeared in web/print ads, books and as cover art for recordings. For the past six years, JJ has has been a staff photographer and presenter at Frolicon in Atlanta, GA. His work can be found here.

Maddy’s Predicament

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Photographer: Dexx Model: Maddy Marks

maddy new

We tied her, pinned her, and put a gag in for good measure. Maddy made the perfect specimen for a bit of predicament!

Kinky Stocking Stuffers for Christmas

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Stocking Stuffers for Kinky Christmas

Ho, ho, ho! anniebear the elf, assistant to Santa Dexx here to offer some naughty stocking stuffers, just in time for the holidays! Don’t tell me I didn’t warn you if your Top/Dominant happens to read this and buys these torture pleasure devices for a happy new year! We know it’s for your own good ☺ You can also get 10% off each of these items by clicking the link and using “kinkweekly” at checkout.

I present to you my top five picks for a very kinky Christmas:

1. BEGINNER HOG TIE SYSTEM
hot tie use this
I’m a big fan of being bound! While a hog tie is not for the weak (make sure to test flexibility and range of motion prior to attempting for safety!), it gets the job done by entirely immobilizing your willing victim. The ingenious center connector is the perfect way to detain and torture. This is a great substitute if you’re not an expert rope rigger.

2. LOCKING STEEL FEMALE CHASTITY BELT
use this 2 chastity
Though it won’t fit in a stocking, I couldn’t leave this beauty off of the list. Dexx surprised me with one of these…and by surprised I mean I was horrified, humiliated, and turned on. Like the chastity belts of centuries past, this modern day version is sure to keep your pet in check. No way to let fingers wander and permission must be asked before being able to use the restroom. The sky is the limit! It comes in sizes small-large and has a rubber trim for “comfort.” Have no fear, there is a version for men as well! We don’t want anyone to feel left out!

3. OPEN MOUTH GAG
ogag
I’m a big fan of this style of gag. If you have a bottom who is worried about suffocation or someone who is not used to gags, this is a great compromise. It also has the added bonus of creating an excess of drool (you know, if you’re into that) because of the open front. I also prefer this style as opposed to a spider gag because they look scary. Remember to use alternative forms of safe “words” when your partner is unable to talk such as hand signals.

4. MIGHTY MAGNETIC ORBS
use this orbs
All I can say is ouch! These guys pack a punch. Anything that can hold itself onto your nipples with the power of magnets is not going to feel like a massage-though legend has it, there are masochists out there who thoroughly enjoy this sensation and have a much higher pain threshold than this little brat. These are super for nipple torture punishment and are so darn cute and cozy that they’ll slide right into that stocking.

5. HEART TIP CROP
heart crop
I’m in love! Personally, I think this crop is suitable for all sexual orientations. Who wouldn’t want to leave little love marks all over their partners behind? This crop is perfect for beginners or advanced players as the striking distance and weight can be easily adjusted depending on your partner’s experience and comfort level. You’ll need to trick wrap this stocking stuffer so the surprise doesn’t get spoiled. Or blindfold your partner and surprise them Christmas morning with some love whacks!

Any of these naughty presents can be yours and more at Edge Play Gear. Make sure to use “kinkweekly” at checkout for 10% off. Our present to you!