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Bastinado or Caning The Soles of The Feet

September 9, 2021 By SafferMaster 2 Comments

sexy feet in fishnets
via stock.adobe.com

bas·ti·na·do  

/ˌbastəˈnādō,ˌbastəˈnädō/  

HISTORICAL  

noun  

a form of punishment or torture that involves caning the soles of someone’s feet. 

verb  

punish or torture (someone) by caning the soles of the feet.  

“the prisoners were bastinadoed frequently in his presence”  

The German term is Bastonade, deriving from the Italian noun bastonata (stroke with the use of a stick).  In former times it was also referred to as Sohlenstreich (corr. striking the soles). The Chinese term is dǎ  jiǎoxīn (打脚心 / 打腳心).  

The point is that Bastinado has been practices as a form of punishment for a very long time. In kink, on the other hand, as separate from a hard caning by a Dominant for the reason of punishment, Bastinado  can be thought of as a day for the feet to go to the spa. A good place to start with the feet are the  acupressure charts that illustrate the way the sole of foot relates to the rest of the body’s organs. Keep in mind as you work on feet that there is a variance between left and right foot and there is also a  variance between people. With that in mind, viewing more than one chart is a good idea so that you are familiar with the variances.  

Another idea is to familiarize yourself with foot anatomy. Not necessarily to the degree that you can talk  anatomy with an expert, but to be aware of the bones of the foot and how thick or thin they are and  also so that you understand at least in a limited way, what the musculature of the foot looks like.  

So how does one approach a Bastinado scene with one’s submissive/bottom to have them drooling with pleasure?  

First create the ambiance. Dark room, soft instrumental music, a comfortable table, and a range of tools.  

It’s nice to begin with your new knowledge of foot anatomy, a foot massage with a light oil that they are  not allergic to is a great way to begin. Another way to warm the foot up is to do a wax scene with the  feet, but that is not necessary, only nice.  

The thing to keep in mind is that compared to the muscle mass in the arm, the muscle mass in the foot is  minute. The bones are little and it’s important to mitigate against the possibility of causing serious  injury. This is not a torture or even meant to be a punishment. Bastinado is a way to “pay back” the  submissive with a day at the foot spa. It’s good advice to do a butt spanking first to warm up the “root  chakra” before going on to the feet. When you do transition to the feet, make sure to use a thick thuddy  short cane at first to warm up to foot evenly.  

It’s a very good idea for Bastinado to use a shortened cane, which is much easier to control. Work the strokes up and down the foot to warm the sole of the foot evenly.  

Caning the foot is not the sort of stroke you use to mark a bottom. It’s a foreshortened swing with a  shortened cane, the stroke should be no more than an inch or two at most to begin with. To manage  this, it’s best to use a short cane (shorty) with very small partial strokes at first. One way to test how hard you can strike the foot is for the Dominant to first use the cane on his or her own foot first to see  both where and how hard to strike the foot in a manner that enhances the experience. It’s also not a  bad idea to compare what you are feeling to the reflexology charts as you do so. Then have the bottom  do the same and let them tell you how hard to hit. Do this with a shorty. A short cane generates less  force than a longer cane, especially with partial strokes. Even so, remember that your foot is not the  bottom’s foot. My feet are thick and meaty, my bottom’s feet are thin and boney, so I have to think  about her foot with the reality of the difference between her foot and mine, in mind. Every foot is different.  

As with all kinks, especially as you get started with Bastinado, it’s a very good idea for the bottom to  turn the volume up on their thoughts. The top cannot guess what the bottom is feeling and there needs  to be a very useful way to share the experience out loud. One way is for the bottom to share from the  out of 1-10 scale as in: “1, 2 or 3” is light and easily tolerated, “4, 5 and 6” is just right and “7” is too  much and “8, 9 and 10” are all out of bounds. The top should listen to the number the bottom is sharing  so that they can match the intensity of the stroke to the tolerance.  

It’s good to work on one foot at a time so that you as the top can approach each foot from a similar side.  I prefer to stand on the outside of the leg so that my stroke falls (ideally) in the arch and along the pads  of the foot with great toe pad getting the most attention.  

If you are someone who has trouble targeting the strokes accurately, you might try putting a short cane  between the toes to act as a guide and that way you can get full coverage of the foot as you move the target toward the heel. Just remember that tapping the cane, bouncing the cane on the foot with a light  grip as is the bounce back stroke. At most a 2” swing to a 10” swing with no full force swings of the cane  are necessary for a good session. Remember, it’s a day at the foot spa for the bottom.  

Think of Bastinado as a way to pay the bottom back for all the time, effort and energy that they have given you as the Top.  

You can also use a tuning fork or a waxing or a massage and all of the above to make this an amazing  Bastinado experience. Start light, have fun, go slow and enjoy this fetish.  


You can access the coaching services offered by Lady Petra Playground by reaching out for an initial  conversation- LadyPetraPlaground@gmail.com  

SafferMaster and Lady Petra offer Kink Relationship Coaching with online, group, and personal coaching  options.  

Lady Petra and SafferMaster also produce the Kinky cocktail Hour podcast available on all podcast platforms and here: https://kinkycocktailhour.buzzsprout.com/

Tagged With: bdsm play, bdsm scene, caning, dominant, foot caning, impact play, power exchange, submissive

A Masochists Journey

August 5, 2021 By SafferMaster 4 Comments

sexy male Dominant with wooden paddle
via stock.adobe.com

Something happened this week during our High Protocol scene. For my collared Slut and I, this occurs  when she presents herself to be marked. We do this about once a week. I mark her with a heavy cane.  The number of strokes vary according to her desire. The rest of the week she has a maintenance  spanking during our daily play scenes. That is the context.  

We were talking (debriefing) after the scene, and she said that she found the marking sexually arousing.  This got me thinking about each of our transformations as sexual creatures since we started sceneing  together almost 3 years ago.  

For me the transformation to sensual sadist was not as big a step as it was for her to discover impact  play as arousing. I had explored being a disciplinarian and a cruel sadist at length before I met her and  had found, to my surprise, that pure sadism was not my preferred way of being. I had always wanted my  sadism to be wrapped up in my sexuality, and sadism without sex was pointless as far as I could tell. I needed more.  

For her the transformation was way more nuanced and more profound.  

Its best to tell the story of her transformation in the form of a narrative from the beginning. When we  first met, I saw her as a masochist. To wit, I had given her a task to do to test her obedience and her  masochist tendencies – I instructed her to fig herself with a stick of wet ginger and to masturbate while  doing so. She had 3 orgasms. Then she was required to meditate for a few minutes with the ginger  inserted. She had an out of body experience. I also learned that as an elite distance athlete she had a  lifelong experience with endorphins and being in a trance state.  

After a time, I invited her to put herself forward to be claimed. The claiming would involve her being  “marked inside and out”. I told her that I would piss in her ass and down her throat and that I would mark her with a cane.  

It took something to put herself forward in that context. She had chosen me to be her Dom and she  chose to kneel for me. She was courageous. She experienced the early period of our dynamic with some  fear and trepidation mixed with the excitement of being a claimed submissive, the sex was intoxicating  and new to her, and at the same time, she was having an ongoing conversation with herself, figuring out  how she was going to endure and cope with the experience of choosing a sadist as her Dom long term.  She is very competitive, and she was determined to win.  

During the early period of our dynamic, as a responsible sadist, I was trying to read her before, during  and after scenes, so that I could adjust the sadism to her experience as a masochist as lived. In that we  are in a 24/7 TPE, I had a lot of responsibility to make sure that “I didn’t break my toys”. I told her I  didn’t and she trusted that I would not. I had to be good to my word. For about 6 months, we used  different implements and I created many different scenes exploring many fetishes and kinks to see  where she and I were aligned, and how it felt. It was all new and a thrilling, exciting and scary experience  for her to be in this intense sexual inquiry at that stage of our relationship. We first related as kinksters  and as sexual creatures, and I had made the determination to make sure my partner and I were sexually  aligned. We talked a lot about what worked and what adjustments were needed to make things work,  and for a while, that was how we progressed the dynamic. Several months into our cohabitation, in  response to circumstances, I implemented a Daily Maintenance Spanking regime. This was a particularly important event in our dynamic. We learned a great deal, both about her masochism as a result of that  decision, and about my sadism and what it was that pleases me.  

“During this early phase of our dynamic, I had many stories and scenarios running through my  head as I attempted to make meaning of the impact play variations we were exploring. I liked  the idea of impact play as an endurance test of my will and obedience. As a service submissive, I  was determined to win this game. My internal dialogue included judgements that I should be  able to take 100+ strokes of a cane or any other implement my Daddy chose to use to mark his  property. However, I had little experience with most implements…especially within a 24/7 TPE  dynamic. Early on, I was fixated on the stingy pain of implements and how they distracted me  from being present versus enhancing my sexual experience. I was preoccupied with the pain. At  first, I discovered certain implements were not my favorite. I feared sharing that with my Daddy  as I didn’t want to disappoint him…a sadist. However, I was committed to creating no space  between us and so I began to share. What was so wonderful, is that he listened…he too was  searching for his sensual sadistic rhythm. I found that the heavy flogger was my favorite  implement and would crave it most of all. I knew that the cane would always be present as my  Daddy wanted his slut marked. I resigned myself to endure the cane as the trade-off was his  satisfaction and appreciation of his slut welcoming her marks. During this time of caning, I would  try to use various techniques to reframe the pain. I tried crushing the pain and diminishing it I my  mind’s eye. I would realize the caning as flagellations to pay for the pain I had bestowed upon  my children for divorcing their father. I would also use breath control to focus pain out of my  body on the exhale. All methods worked a bit, but were largely unsuccessful ongoingly. When  Daddy implemented the Daily Maintenance Spanking, I was both excited and a bit nervous. What  if I couldn’t take it? After the first week of daily spankings of 200-500 strokes with the heavy  flogger, I began to look forward to this intimate time. I felt myself relax into the flogging and  after about 100-200 strokes, I was warmed up and no longer would feel the strokes individually.  Instead, I began experiencing an energetic buzz throughout my body. My initial physical reaction  was a dripping wet pussy…often running down my legs. This would always be followed by  incredibly hot hot kinky sex with my Daddy. As time passed, I would comment that I could handle  more and more flogging. Basically, I would stretch my Daddy to flog me until his arm gave out.  Around this time, I proposed that 1000 strokes may be fun to attempt. This scene included my  Daddy tying me up in a bent over position with my hands and ankles bound together. He went to  work and got lost in his own Dom space. I too was lost in sub space and only requested to stop  after hitting our goal due to my legs falling asleep and fearing I would collapse.” – Lady Petra  

Mainly we learned after using several implements over time, that she responded best to the heavy  flogger, and to a steady rhythmic firm impact. We learned that after about 125 strokes she started to  experience orgasms as the spanking continued. We tested her tolerance to over 1200 strokes on one  occasion and only stopped because her arms and legs were falling asleep in the bondage. She loved the  experience. Since then, our daily maintenance spanking routine is implemented exclusively using the  heavy flogger and because we both find it so very arousing, we have ridiculously hot sex every single  time. The spanking is now inextricably wrapped into our sexuality. Her relationship with pain had evolved.  

That was a pivotal moment in her masochism. It was when she first started to experience herself as a  sensual masochist. Her experience with pain was something that we talked about a lot. And in fact, the  daily conversations we were having became the impetus of our podcast launch. 

I gave her a view to consider, that pain is an emotion and that its subject to interpretation. She became  clear through the daily spankings with the heavy flogger over time, that the notion rang true for her too.  Even so, the High Protocol scenes where marking occurred, the impact with the cane was more than she  could process at the moment.  

Over time, we explored different elements around caning her to see if we could find a path to make her  experience of being caned as sexually arousing for her as it was for me. We tried giving her a prolonged  warm-up and we tried taking more and also less time between strokes, but we were unable to alter her  overall experience of being caned, which at that time the intensity of being caned had the impact of pulling her out of subspace.  

Recently and quite by accident, we hit on a novel way to approach marking. I noticed one day that she  spontaneously asked to be marked in the middle of a scene. I mark her and then fuck her ass while she  recovers. One day, she randomly stated after being caned while I was fucking her ass … ”Mark me  Daddy”. First of all, I found the experience incredibly hot and very erotic. Second, she seemed to handle  the next cane stroke with ease. It occurred to me that instead of me trying to judge and assess her  status so as to manage her marking without breaking her spirit, she could just tell me what she was  actually dealing with and wanting at the moment. So, we talked about my need to mark her rather than  hurt her, and her desire to be my marked slut. We made the choice to give her the power to determine  how many marks she received after my initial stoke during a marking protocol scene.  

“When I first asked to be marked with the cane, I was deep in sub space and we had already  began the caning protocols. I was feeling so connected and aligned with my Daddy, that I felt his  caning was an expression of his desire and love for me. He cared enough to mark…ME! My love  for him overflowed and I heard myself say…”Mark me Daddy!” I was both aroused and shocked  at what I heard erupt from me. As I bared down reading myself for his mark, something  changed. He marked me and I remember saying to myself…”Wow…that wasn’t so bad.” The  pain seemed to dissipate quicker than usual too. That was the beginning…Daddy stated that  after my 1st cane stroke on marking days, I would then be given the power to request more  strokes. This was a game changer. Now I would request my strokes, which is a bit of a mind  fuck. But, as a switch, to give me power to request my strokes gave me access to experience my  caning in a new and enlightening way. I began to not dread my caning. I began cherishing my  marks as I felt part of the process. My Daddy’s insight truly led to my greater and more positive  experience with marking.” – Lady Petra 

This was a game changer for her. She suddenly started to relate to the pain of being caned with a  different context and mindset. She started to request many more strokes than she had previously  experienced. This was music to my ears. Hot sex became even hotter! Our kink experience was  dramatically enhanced by this simple choice. She could give up her fears around being caned and  contextualize the experience as “being marked by her choice”. As her Dom, I want her marked and as  my submissive she chooses to be my marked property. We are aligned.  

This brings us to what happened yesterday. After our High Protocol Scene, we were talking and she said  to me “I found the caning very arousing”.  

This revelation exploded in my mind as a line that we had been striving to cross, or a mountain peak we  were trying to summit had been achieved. The experience of flogging her led to a massive breakthrough in her experience with impact play and yesterday, the experience of caning has now resulted in a  massive breakthrough in her experience with caning.  

During the scene, which we begin with a hypnokink induction, I framed all our play in the context of an  “energy exchange”, including the caning, and I suggested to her that she experience the caning as a  massive transfer of energy, which it is ultimately.  

Whatever the catalyst, she had a new experience with the cane that left her more aroused by the  experience that she was at any time in the past.  

By the time she got caned during our High Protocol scene, she had already experienced multiple  orgasms, oral, anal and vaginal, and she had been flogged perhaps 500 times with two heavy floggers in  preparation. Despite that, she shared, after the experience, that at the time, she had a consideration  that she was not sufficiently warmed up and, in some ways, nor was she mentally prepared for the  marking to occur at that moment. Even so, her experience of the marking was, surprisingly, one of being  sexually aroused by the caning.  

“This new experience of feeling arousal during my marking occurred to me newly during this  most recent marking day. I found my caning bearable and was able to feel the energy move  through me and back to my Daddy. Not quite sure I fully understand how to replicate the  scenario, but I do think the suggestions relating to energy transfer with the caning helped me  reframe the experience. Our scenes have only been getting hotter and hotter. I feel closer to my  dominant more than any other person on earth. I think all combined, we have access to a door  to Nirvana that few experience. I am grateful to be on a path with such a sexy sensual sadistic  dominant who pulls and demands the masochist inside me to meet him toe-to-toe. He creates  me and I create him. We are only at the beginning, and I am excited to see where we will go  next!” – Lady Petra  

This is a big deal in our dynamic. I am not sure if its due to one reason or another, or if her experience  was created by several combined aspects of the experience. Probably the latter. What I know is that as a  sensual Dom, I wrap my sadism into my sexuality and now I have confidence that as a masochist, she  wraps her masochism into her sexuality, including our marking scenes, and it brings us closer together  and aligns us to an even more precise degree. We are now even more aligned than we were, and to a  degree that I thought impossible with another human being.  

From the start, I set out to sexualize our dynamic and to a large degree I have been successful. Naturally  this could not occur without Lady Petra’s full enrollment and participation. She is my 24/7 collared slut.  She is always prepared to serve me. And now, our journey has taken a turn as it does in the rabbit hole.  

We set out to explore our sexuality and to seek ever more fulfilling sexual encounters. Over the years,  the twists and turns in the rabbit hole have surprised us. We always say that if we take new actions, the  outcomes are unexpected.  

If I had told you 3 years ago that in 3 years, she would find caning arousing, you might have raised your  eyebrows if you had had a chance to interview her back then. But now, three years later her experience  of herself as a masochist has transformed. The crucible that this has occurred in is that over 1,000  iterations, we have distilled our sexual encounters down to a series of the most exciting, most erotic,  hottest actions and interactions from hypnokink, to impact play, to 3-hole penetration, to a give and take that keeps us both in a state of primal lust and now, because of her most recent experience, our  High Protocol Scene has become scalding hot.  

“I love a woman when she has abandoned her moral center and teachings…when she’s cast aside her façade of propriety and lady-like demeanor…when I have so corrupted this fragile thing  and brought out a writhing, mewing, bucking, wanton whore for my enjoyment and pleasure…enticing from within this feral lioness…growling and scratching and biting…taking  everything I dish out to her…at that moment she is never more beautiful to me except for when I  realize that I have now helped unleash a lioness into the world…”  

−Marquis de Sade  


SafferMaster and Lady Petra offer Kink Relationship Coaching with online, group, and personal coaching  options.  

You can access the coaching services offered by Lady Petra Playground by reaching out for an initial  conversation- LadyPetraPlaground@gmail.com  

New coaching content can be found on out Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/LadyPetrasPlayground  

Lady Petra and SafferMaster also produce the Kinky cocktail Hour podcast available on all podcast  platforms and here: https://kinkycocktailhour.buzzsprout.com/

Tagged With: bdsm, bdsm community, bdsm play, bdsm relationship, bdsm scene, caning, dominant, fetish, impact play, kink, masochism, power exchange, sadist, sadomasochism, submissive, submissive headspace

Spank Me Like You Mean It: A Guide To Impact Play

October 24, 2020 By Will Hunt 2 Comments

sexy male Dom with crop
via stock.adobe.com

There are many wonderful activities associated with BDSM. If you have a kink you can probably find a thriving community online to discuss it, learn more about it and be introduced to nuances of play that may never have occurred to you in isolation. It can also be reassuring to know that you aren’t alone in your kink. However strange you might think you are, there are going to be people out there who will accept you.

In this article I want to discuss a type of play which is for many people their first “toe dip” into the wider world of BDSM; spanking. For many of us it is our first experience of doing something that we are told is supposed to cause pain, which we are taught is a bad thing, but actually we find our partner enjoys, which we know is a good thing.

Spanking falls under a wider catagory of corporal punishment, otherwise known as CP play. While spanking almost exclusively refers to the use of an open hand to strike the bottom it can also involve the use of implements; paddles, floggers, canes, etc…

Spanking does not require a huge amount of equipment, in fact it can all be done with just a hand, a partner’s bottom, and a knee for them to lay over. It is a cheap, fun activity that we can enjoy for years to come.

The first thing we want to consider when planning a spanking are the same things we should plan before any scene (so it is good to get into the habit now). We want to know our partners limits, their safeword, and any issues we should be aware of. 

We are going to break down a spanking into distinct sections so we can understand what is happening, and explore each part that makes up the whole. We shall look at: where is it going to happen, how are they going to be positioned, what is going to be used, what is the objective, and how will aftercare be managed?

Where?

We start by planning where it will happen because an oft overlooked side effect of a spanking is the noise produced. Not only the potential sounds of our partner, but also the constant noise of the spanking itself. The sound of a bare hand on a naked arse should not be underestimated. 

Imagine how annoyed you would be if your neighbor started clapping rhythmically for 40 minutes while occasionally screaming unexpectedly!

While it is not always possible to rent a dungeon or attend a play event we can try to be considerate and think about the noise we will be making and if it could become an issue for others.

How?

Once we have decided where we are playing our next consideration should be how our partner will position themselves. We should be aware of their comfort, and how their position will change the play area, in this case the surface of their butt and back of the thighs. 

Hopefully your partner will have a position they find most comfortable, some like to lie flat on a bed, others prefer to be kneeling, or held over a knee. Overall our goal is to find a position which is comfortable and can be held for a prolonged time. Our objective is to spank our partner, not to have them develop cramp in their calf, or a sore back.

Depending on how our partner is positioned we may find that the surface tension of the bottom may change. Laying flat allows for muscles to relax and as a result you might find that they ripple more on impact, while bent over a bench you might find their muscles are more contracted, giving a firmer surface. For some this will translate into a stingier or thudier type of sensation, something we shall cover in more details shortly.

What?

Get them comfortable and then you can think about how you are going to spank them. Most types of impact fall into one of two categories, thudy or stingy. Most people have a distinct preference for the type of sensation so it is important that we understand the type of sensation our toys inflict. 

There are lots of things we can use before we have to go shopping for kink specific toys. A wooden spoon from the kitchen, a slipper from the shoe rack, a belt from the wardrobe. It is important that we know what we are working with before we start flailing around at someone’s bottom. Using your forearm you can usually practice a few strikes to get the feel of the implement and the type of sensation it elicits.

As a rule of thumb you will find that the further the point of impact is from the handle the more difficult the implement is to use reliably. So hitting the same place repeatedly with your hand is reasonably guaranteed, while hitting the same place repeatedly with a 6 foot single tail is much harder. We definitely want to start easy and make sure to spend plenty of time learning before using more difficult implements. 

Most implements fall into the two sensation categories below. 

Stingy: Thin canes, light floggers, quick hand slaps, light paddles, single tails…

Thudy: Thick canes, heavy floggers, heavy hand slaps, thick paddles, leather belts…

For a more stingy sensation you want to strike quickly with almost a flicking motion. This can serve to intensify the inherently stingy nature of the implement, or even add a stingy sensation to a thudy implement. 

For a more thudy sensation you want to land the blow with a solid impact and press. Almost as if you are striking through the surface and holding it in place. This can help deepen the pressure of a thudy tool, or even to lessen the stingy sensation of a lighter toy.

Objective?

We want to understand the types of sensation our partner enjoys. This serves us well if we want to let them enjoy a scene based around sensations, and is just as important if we want to be sadistic. The better we understand our partners ability to process different sensations the better we are able to take them on an experiential journey. 

A spanking scene can be a transcendental experience, the constant, steady impacts become a drum beat by which the bottom can drift off into something often referred to as “sub space”. Or it can be a brutal punishment the bottom cannot escape from and eventually can only surrender to. These are just two possible goals, but are almost diametrically opposed, so we should be sure that both of us know what type of scene we want to have.

Aftercare?

It is extremely important that we consider what we shall do for the bottom after the scene. Physically and mentally we need to help them settle again.

You will often find that your partner is not in state to coherently explain their needs after a spanking scene, so it is our responsibility to have had this conversation in advance. Before we begin we should discuss the type of aftercare they commonly need, and have it prepared for them. 

This can be physical; blankets, drinks, sweets, and it can also be more mental; verbal reassurance, physical closeness. Have whatever you need close at hand and be prepared to spend as long as is needed helping your partner to recover.

Now what?

We have explored a little of what is involved in a spanking, but there is so so much more. For many of us this might be our first experience of physical BDSM, but that doesn’t mean it is something we grow out of, or lacks nuance. There are lots of ways of playing with spanking, and lots of ways to engage in it. 

Spanking, and the wider category of CP, fits quite easily into many types of play. Spending time learning how to spank, paddle, cane, flog and whip is well worth the investment. With practice you can learn to make a cane deliver a range of sensations and drive your partner into states of agony or ecstasy. 

If you get to know your local community you will hopefully be able to find skilled kink educators who will be able to give you some hands-on experience. Different techniques and different tools are best tried with someone experienced in their use. I encourage you to get hands on experience and teaching wherever you can. Never be afraid to learn, we should all actively seek out those more experienced to learn from and improve our abilities.

We are building up our skills so we can explore with partners. While we can learn lots for them, we will also learn the most from them. Everything we learn is so that we can better take a journey together.


Will Hunt has been involved in the UK kink scene for the last 10 years; running clubs, teaching workshops, performing and generally encouraging naughty behavior wherever possible.
https://fetlife.com/users/2976273

Tagged With: bdsm, bdsm play, caning, fetish, flogging, impact play, kink, power exchange, sex, submissive, whips

Simple Ideas for Playing with Male Bottoms

October 17, 2020 By Dame TylerRose. 4 Comments

mistress dominating male slave on leash
via stock.adobe.com

Creativity is one of the most important attributes I’ve seen common among sadists.

A checklist is great, but it doesn’t tell you how to actually DO things. When you’re new, the how of doing things is very important. First and foremost, the bottom and I go over my toy kit and *theirs*. We both agree on and set out items we want to use. One of the bottoms I play with sets out his items and understands that I will use what I choose to use.

What to do and how to do it:

Using the Leash for things OTHER than leading him around — The loop end of a leash can be used as very simple cock bondage, especially once he’s hard. Give it a tug whenever you want. A fabric leash can be pulled up a few inches and put into his mouth.

Tie the dick up with rope and attach a chain leash from collar to cock. Tap on the chain with a hard cane or wooden spoon. Slide a cane up and down it to send vibrations through the chain. Pull the chain up and to the side to position the cock however you want to move it out of the way when whipping the thighs with a quirt.

Wartenberg Wheels — I’ve found I’m very good with wartenberg wheels. Most people might use them for a few seconds and move on to something else. I turn them into a half hour scene in and of themselves.  I run those things all over the body. Up and down the undersides of his arms (including armpits), over the shoulders, around the neck, down his sides, around his back/thighs/buttocks, and eventually over his cock and balls, down the inner thighs. Everywhere I can reach. I almost always use one in each hand, mirroring each other as they roll, and going into the more sensitive areas after he’s been warmed up for a few minutes.

If he likes clamps on the nipples, I’ll attach them after ten or fifteen minutes and run the wheels around his pectorals. 

Clamps with weights — I do this very gently. Just buy 2oz, 4 oz (etc) sinkers from a tackle shop and S hooks to put on them. They hook very easily over clover clamps or the finger loops of forceps style clamps. Some like to have the clamps tapped. Gentle is enough. Minute increases in pain can be HUGE on the receiving end. People watching don’t think I’m doing much, but the bottom is all but dancing on his toes for me.

Clothespins can go anywhere on the body that you can pull up a pinch of skin. You don’t need to smack them off. I don’t do that unless it’s a special request of the bottom. Line up along the pectorals on both sides of the areola, leaving the nipples free. Tug, twist, tap to your heart’s content. Tap with the handle of a wooden spoon. Tease the nipples. Play them like a xylophone. lol When you take them off, the pec is then hyper-sensitive to do all those other things I mentioned.

Ball Gags – I don’t usually use them, as I want very clear communication during play. However, if a guy is making facial expressions I don’t care for, wagging his tongue out, or saying words I don’t want to hear, I will pick up his ball gag and plop it into his mouth. There’s no need to engage the buckle. I expect he understands that he’s to keep it in his mouth until I remove it.

Finger Nubbies – Anyone who’s worked in an office with lots of paper has seen little rubber finger tips for friction when sorting through paper. They are fantastic sensation toys, and don’t cost a lot. Put one on an index finger and thumb and you have a new way to tease and pinch.

Extra Hands – When I’ve got a guy cuffed to the X, I at once have an extra pair of hands to hold things for me. I’ll give him a flogger to hold until I need it, or the wartenberg wheels. It makes for a humorous visual for the people watching, and keeps him present. He can’t go completely into his own head because he has to keep enough focus to hold onto the object.

Cock and ball torture — Quantify what he means by CBT. Saying he doesn’t like it doesn’t explain what he doesn’t like. What is it that he doesn’t like? Grabbing and twisting? Okay. Don’t twist his dick.  It’s as simple as that.

Pelvic Caning — Every dude who has agreed to have his cock/pelvic region caned has liked what I do. I don’t need to hit hard to get reactions…and those reactions are fairly obvious. I’ve not caned one to ejaculation yet, but a couple have gotten close. Mild tap tap tapping up and down the length of a flaccid cock quickly leads to an erection. I have a black cane that is fairly stiff but still a bit flexible. It bounces off the surface and isn’t as brutal as my fiberglass rods. I use a short motion with my hand, aiming for the surface and without follow-through. Don’t swing like you’re chopping down a tree. You’re not going for maximum impact, but surface sting and thud. He’s going to have bruising and will need to piss in the coming days, so less is more.

I whap a little harder on the meat of the area just above the cock. Front of the thighs, including the penis as it hangs, and you may find him leaning back to assist in getting the angle and strike zone he likes best. 

I like to include the inner thighs as well, and the scrotum. Front or back doesn’t make much difference to me. Moderate whapping back and forth from thigh to thigh, zinging across the very bottom of the scrotum in the process, has been a favorite with the men. It gives them the sting and burn of an inner thigh caning with the surprise impact to the balls in both directions. 

Don’t be too relentless, however. Five or six up strokes up high, then move the cane down or move to a different area entirely.

If the back is facing you — I’ve told each of them that if they stick it out, I’m gonna hit it. Every man at once angled himself to better present his balls. You can strike across both thighs and the scrotum at the same time. Again, don’t swing like you’re chopping down a tree. You don’t want to rupture a testicle.

Managing the Bottom – One of the most important aspects of play is knowing when to back off a moment and let the bottom catch his breath. You can’t go intense intense intense every second. Varying sensations between mild and intense, back to mild, up to moderate, down to mild, up to intense creates a rollercoaster ride of pleasures. Know when to pause for a moment and give him (and yourself) a drink. A scene including everything from above will easily last an hour or more. Pause two or three times for a drink and a breath. I always stop before they’re completely spent. Leave them wanting more rather than regretting going one minute too long.

Station Clean Up — I don’t play in private, so this is all happening at a party. One of us wipes down the station he was attached to. If he’s got some wits about him, he does it. If he’s too zonked, I do it. I clean and put away my stuff while he cleans and puts away his stuff, or puts away his stuff for later cleaning. Whatever. It’s his kit. 

What about aftercare??? – I know, right? I totally worked hard. I deserve some after care. First, I’m going to sit and watch him attempt to put his clothes on. It’s most entertaining and satisfying, watching a grown man rendered down to a puddle of endorphic goo, incapable of dressing himself. It’s the best part.

Then I’ll tell him to give me a shoulder and arm massage. If we’re at a sex/SM combo party, I’ll go get laid with some other guy. I don’t have sex with the bottoms I play with.

I’ll follow up with Tylenol through the next day, and a nice warm shower, to ease sore muscles.

The bottom will do whatever it is that he does after he gets home. I’m sure masturbation will be part of his routine, but I could be wrong. I won’t be there for any of it.

What other people choose to do when they are finished is between them.


TylerRose. is known as Dame Tyler in the NYC public SM/Fetish scene. She is an award-winning author who has written three “lifestyle”, four cartoon, and over 25 fiction books.

Read her books on her Amazon page — https://www.amazon.com/TylerRose./e/B00HCPLSP2

You can also find more of her OP/ED work in Fetlife: https://fetlife.com/users/305828
Twitter — https://twitter.com/DameTyler or @DameTyler
FB Fan Page — https://www.facebook.com/TylerRoseGethis/

She enjoys crocheting and baking, and will no doubt die with a thesaurus open on her thigh.

Tagged With: bdsm, bdsm play, caning, cock and ball torture, cock cage, domme, goddess worship, human pet, impact play, leash, male bottom, male submissive, mistress, power exchange, sex

anniebear caned

April 26, 2016 By Redd Dyver 2 Comments

Photographer: ReddDyver Models: anniebear

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anniebear is put in her place with a sound caning. Can you guess who was delivering the handywork?

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Tagged With: caning, photography, slave

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