Want to know more about impact play and impact toys?
Then, check out this awesome video from Kinky Assignments!
Want to know more about impact play and impact toys?
Then, check out this awesome video from Kinky Assignments!
As a vendor of leather goods, I am often asked many questions. We (collectively) do our best to educate and inform everyone who comes to see us in person, regardless of whether or not they plan to purchase. One of the most common ones I hear: What is the best impact implement?
That’s a tough question on a good day.
I’m a heavy thud gal all the way. One of my absolute favorite implements is one that I built that isn’t for sale – a 36″ bat padded with a special high-density foam and covered with leather. It’s a warm-up and a full scene all in one, no need to change implements. I’m happy as a clam. Want something a little smaller? An elk hide flogger is like a massage in my scene and that works just fine for me. This means that my “best” will often involve soft textures. I also happen to have an eye for high quality implements, so the ones I want will likely cost someone a pretty penny.
Are either of those “the best,” though? Isn’t that subjective? Who am I to say what is your best? I may love thud, but I have many friends and acquaintances who are not fans of thuddy impact at all. Some prefer sting, some love whips, and some have some interestingly specific dislikes of floggers due to the impact of many tails at once.
Unfortunately, given the lack of in-person opportunities we’ve had this year, much of the kink shopping in our local community has transitioned to an online model or local sales chat with contactless pickup. The obvious disadvantage is that as a consumer, we are often unable to fully examine our purchases in advance. Not knowing exactly what an item may feel like can discourage a more expensive purchase. Some have simply opted to avoid new purchases entirely after one experience of disappointment.
Rather than avoiding new purchases, education can provide valuable insight about what we intend to purchase to ensure that we are getting exactly what we think we are ordering. This can be very difficult without hands-on, but I will do my best to provide useful information.
Setting General Expectations and Goals for the Purchase
Are you seeking an implement for a specific body part? Implements designed for genital impact are often smaller and lighter than an implement designed for full-body use. If you purchase one of the smaller ones thinking it is for full-body use, you will likely be disappointed even if the item is of good quality and value for its size.
Do you want the tool to leave marks afterwards? Do you want the tool to not leave marks? Unfortunately for those of us who prefer the thud, objects which provide it will often be less likely to leave mementos. To make that particular quest even more challenging, everyone is a little different. What marks one individual may leave only light traces on another, or may fade by morning. If a Maker is guaranteeing an object will leave marks, be wary. Absolutes are always suspect.
What sensations are you seeking in this implement? Are you looking to obtain something soft that can be used sensually, such as things involving rabbit fur or vegan materials? Are you looking for a specific effect from impact? I tend to prefer breaking down the sting / thud generalization into one that is slightly more descriptive. We categorize things by including a light / heavy descriptor, so we identify them as light sting, heavy sting, light thud, heavy thud, and combination sensations. Therefore, if I am shopping for something I want to be hit with, I am going to avoid things which provide a heavy sting, such as heavier paddles or smaller diameter canes made from harder materials (delrin, acrylic, carbon fiber). Softer textures absorb those inertial effects and create more thud. I’d also avoid things with pointy tips, such as floggers tipped to points, cats with pointed tips, dragon tails, etc. Rounded tipped floggers are more my cup of tea, and I will avoid leathers with shinier / smoother finish. Those finishes will generally come across as stingy. I know that is a bit sad for us thud fans, since those pretty finishes may be metallic or patterned and promise lots of sad later.
Matching Expectation to Reality
Knowledge and information are your friends. Learn about the ranges of sensation available in an implement. Floggers tend to be thought of as thuddy in general, though a skilled Maker can build one in any of the sensation ranges I mentioned earlier. Smooth topgrain leather plus thinner falls (3/8″ for example) plus pointed or snake tips equals a stingy flogger that will welt as easily as a more solid cane. An elk hide flogger that has wider falls (5/8″, 3/4″ or wider), a naked topgrain finish, and is finished with rounded tips is going to produce a softer thud. Thus unsurprisingly, heavier, thicker leathers with similar treatments will begin to create heavier thud sensations. Length definitely matters in an impact implement. Longer flogger falls require a harder swing to keep the falls from separating prior to impact, thus transfer more force through the blow. Want one that is less likely to wrap at lower speeds? Look for shorter lengths, such as 15″ falls. Avoid lengths of more than 20″, since those will require more force.
Keep in mind that softer textures and impact surfaces generally produce thud – leather paddle, floggers with lots of falls, rounded edges made of softer more flexible topgrain leathers or of full or split suede. Harder surfaces and textures generally produce sting – canes, dragon tails, smooth paddles made of wood or acrylic, floggers with firmer, stiffer leather or smooth finished topgrain and pointed tips.
Before you buy!
You can learn a great deal about an item from its description. Is the description lacking? The person selling it may be a reseller rather than a Maker. Don’t be afraid to reach out and ask questions. If someone can’t or won’t answer, they may not be the right seller for you. If a flogger description indicates that it is 20″ in length, is that 20″ of total length or 20″ of falls? How long is the handle, how wide are the falls and how many does it have? What type of leather is it made from? Do they list the thickness (or weight) of the leather? Do they mention what type of sensation you may experience from the item? Details are your friend. One measurement and the word “soft” in a description which comes in at one sentence long is personally not enough information for me to give informed consent to an item hitting my ass.
Look for key words. Do they advertise “Genuine Leather”? This is often a term used for leather that is made of scrap which is ground and pressed together. It is still technically leather just as plywood is still wood, it is simply a lower quality option. Look for words such as: split suede – which indicates the bottom layers of hide have been split off; topgrain – which indicates the top layer and will have some type of finish, such as naked (super soft), pebble (textured but flexible); fullgrain – both topgrain and suede split leathers still combined, often thicker than either individually (still variances between animal types); corrected grain – topgrain has had the imperfections sanded off and then has been stamped with a topgrain finish, leaving a less expensive and slightly lower quality product, etc. If you don’t recognize a term, this is a good time to either run a quick google search or reach out to the seller and inquire. When purchasing wooden items, such as paddles, look for the type of wood. You don’t want thinner impact items made from softer woods, like pine or poplar. Hardwoods such as oak, maple, purple heart, and exotics are less likely to break and potentially splinter and cause some unpleasantness for the person receiving impact. The janka hardness scale can be a useful tool. Look for things with a hardness over a thousand, as a general rule.
Is it Artisan made? Is it mass-produced and available for resale on etsy for $20? A $20 flogger may well be worth what is being asked for it, but is much less likely to be tailored for a specific sensation preference, and likely to be made with lower quality materials and workmanship. I tend to advocate purchasing from a builder who is local, or if a local seller is unavailable in your area, from one who handcrafts their implements . Even then, however, levels of skill and workmanship will still vary greatly between craftsmen. If someone has a clear and reasonable understanding of the value of their work, and it is structurally sound, purchasing from them can be a viable option for those looking for implements in lower price ranges rather than from someone whose work may have more flourish and skill but be that much more expensive as a result.
The next thing to look at is workmanship. If the item features a braided handle, is the pattern lined up down the handle? If it has “knotwork,” do all of the parts of the knot seem to be symmetrical? If it has tacks, rivets, or other visible evidence of fastenings, are they lined up in straight lines or is the spacing even? Are they lined up with other parts of the item? Does the hardware appear solid and of good quality? Are edges finished, such as rounding edges on a paddle or burnishing leather edges on a belt, cuffs or a collar? Does stitching appear even?
Do keep in mind that these details do not necessarily indicate a product which is not worth what is being asked for it, or that the item won’t last. Most of those things are cosmetic, though some may be structural. If a paddle has been cut so that the wood grain traverses the handle portion in a perpendicular fashion, this is less stable in a more intense scene than one which has been cut so that the wood grain runs lengthwise down the paddle. If you see spots that appear to be blemishes, do not be afraid to ask for an up-close photo. Most Makers are willing to provide more information and responsible ones are less likely to be willing to sell an item which appears to have questionable structural integrity.
Read reviews of the item if it is one that is available in a standard option, and of the seller prior to purchase. Do reviews indicate that buyers generally received what they expected? Do reviews indicate that the photo was a stock one and the actual item varied greatly in quality?
Look at the photos. Are there close-up photos as well as distance pictures? Is there anything that looks iffy? If you are uncertain, it doesn’t hurt to ask someone who has more experience than you do.
Shop around. Finding a flogger marked at $35 is great, until you look closer and see that it has 10 falls that are each 1/2″ wide (likely that won’t be listed in the description). My super awesome maths skill tells me that’s 5 total inches of leather. If I can buy a different flogger for $45 that clearly lists that it offers 40 falls that are each 1/2″ wide, that’s a much better deal for the price even thought one is more expensive. If you factor in the workmanship and shipping, one may end up being a clear winner when it comes to a long-term investment.
Price point alone does not indicate whether or not a tool is appropriate for you. Not all vendors have a good understanding of how to price their items according to their skill level, labor time and effort, and material costs. This can mean pricing for a given item may range as much as $50 between the low and high end, and the pricing may still seem unevenly distributed across the quality of implements offered at those prices. It may also mean that the same $80 price tag can include a huge variety of offerings when it comes to amount of material, quality of material, and workmanship. Purchasing a less expensive item from a less skilled Maker can absolutely be a viable option as long as it meets your expectations and usage needs for the tool.
Christmas bunny has been exploring kink since she was legal to do so. Her serious writing started in college, where she accidently got some of her papers published in educational journals. She has recently expanded her writing to include her kink journey. She began writing in the physical realm, but shed some of her inhibitions and began sharing those entries with others. She now keeps an active blog of her personal growth and her relationship with her Master / Daddy Dominant and writes helpful educational posts on a variety of subjects.
I frequently see questions about how to play by one’s self. In this day and age of plague, it’s particularly important to take care of our own needs. I have always been able to do so, not relying on a partner to give me the pleasures I like most.
This third self-play article will cover an easy impact technique anyone can use with a belt, flogger, and even a short single tail.
First, get a leather belt. If you don’t already have one in your play kit, you can get an inexpensive one from any decent clothing store. Target regularly has them for under twenty dollars. I have found beautifully broken in belts at thrift stores also. They clean up easily enough with soap and water and some shea butter or coconut oil for conditioner.
The length of the belt doesn’t really matter so long as it’s not too long. Something in the 30 to 36 inch range is fine. When folded over, it will be the perfect length.
Standing is a better position so you can swing freely and not smack the bed, chair or sofa. But on your knees on a bed works too.
Start off swinging around your ribs to your back. You may be surprised how much effort is needed to give yourself a good smack. It can be a pretty decent arm workout.
Then over your shoulders. The movies make it look so easy, don’t they?
Inner thighs are right there. Buttocks, back of thighs. Varying the speed changes up the force of impact.
A broken-in belt is easier than a new one, but a new one will be broken in after a few sessions. A studded belt adds another degree of intensity. Some people I know have liked to use the buckle end rather than the leather in the middle. Give it a try; see if you agree.
A game I have played:
Sit down to watch a show on regular television. Commercial comes on, pick up the belt and beat yourself with it until the show comes back. Sit back, watch the show. Commercial comes on, pick up the belt and beat yourself with it. The resting between lets the endorphins come forward into a delicious high – for me, at least. The high is my goal in the first place.
By the 45 minute mark, commercials created an almost Pavlovian response in me.
You can create your own games, such as “1 strike every time someone on a show says the word “the” or “and”, or says a particular character’s name. Then give yourself that many strikes at the next commercial break, or wait and add them all up when the show is over.
All of these things can be done with a short flogger also. Something fifteen to eighteen inches overall length will do. It needs to be hefty enough that the falls have impact. Too long and too thin is difficult to throw over one’s own shoulder and get the impact desired. Shorter is easier to control and strike where you want.
Guess what? You can use a short whip too! I bought a pair of mini snake whips from Highland Whip Design (Instagram – HighlandWhipDesign; Fetlife — https://fetlife.com/users/7280606) and they can absolutely be used to whip one’s self using the same around the ribs and over the shoulder techniques. In fact, while he was finishing them, I asked him if it would reach well for that and he did it on himself to confirm that, yes, absolutely, these will whip one’s own back.
Between these two how-to articles, you have four different implements you can use almost all over on your body. Start with the flogger for warming up. Move on to the belt and then the wooden spoon. Conclude with the whip for that final sharp sting. Hours of self-play are at your fingertips.
If you aren’t too hard on yourself, you can do this every day if you want.
TylerRose. is known as Dame Tyler in the NYC public SM/Fetish scene. She is an award-winning author who has written two “lifestyle”, four cartoon, and over 25 fiction books.
Read her books on her Amazon page — https://www.amazon.com/TylerRose./e/B00HCPLSP2
You can also find more of her OP/ED work in Fetlife: https://fetlife.com/users/305828
FB Fan Page — https://www.facebook.com/TylerRoseGethis/
Twitter — https://twitter.com/DameTyler or @DameTyler
She enjoys crocheting and baking, and will no doubt die with a thesaurus open on her thigh.
Want to know more about Impact Play?
Interested in honing your domination skills?
Curious about Topping?
Then, check out this informative video by Depraved Eros!
This week he gives a practical step by step guide on impact and the art of Domination!
Click below to learn more!
There are many wonderful activities associated with BDSM. If you have a kink you can probably find a thriving community online to discuss it, learn more about it and be introduced to nuances of play that may never have occurred to you in isolation. It can also be reassuring to know that you aren’t alone in your kink. However strange you might think you are, there are going to be people out there who will accept you.
In this article I want to discuss a type of play which is for many people their first “toe dip” into the wider world of BDSM; spanking. For many of us it is our first experience of doing something that we are told is supposed to cause pain, which we are taught is a bad thing, but actually we find our partner enjoys, which we know is a good thing.
Spanking falls under a wider catagory of corporal punishment, otherwise known as CP play. While spanking almost exclusively refers to the use of an open hand to strike the bottom it can also involve the use of implements; paddles, floggers, canes, etc…
Spanking does not require a huge amount of equipment, in fact it can all be done with just a hand, a partner’s bottom, and a knee for them to lay over. It is a cheap, fun activity that we can enjoy for years to come.
The first thing we want to consider when planning a spanking are the same things we should plan before any scene (so it is good to get into the habit now). We want to know our partners limits, their safeword, and any issues we should be aware of.
We are going to break down a spanking into distinct sections so we can understand what is happening, and explore each part that makes up the whole. We shall look at: where is it going to happen, how are they going to be positioned, what is going to be used, what is the objective, and how will aftercare be managed?
We start by planning where it will happen because an oft overlooked side effect of a spanking is the noise produced. Not only the potential sounds of our partner, but also the constant noise of the spanking itself. The sound of a bare hand on a naked arse should not be underestimated.
Imagine how annoyed you would be if your neighbor started clapping rhythmically for 40 minutes while occasionally screaming unexpectedly!
While it is not always possible to rent a dungeon or attend a play event we can try to be considerate and think about the noise we will be making and if it could become an issue for others.
Once we have decided where we are playing our next consideration should be how our partner will position themselves. We should be aware of their comfort, and how their position will change the play area, in this case the surface of their butt and back of the thighs.
Hopefully your partner will have a position they find most comfortable, some like to lie flat on a bed, others prefer to be kneeling, or held over a knee. Overall our goal is to find a position which is comfortable and can be held for a prolonged time. Our objective is to spank our partner, not to have them develop cramp in their calf, or a sore back.
Depending on how our partner is positioned we may find that the surface tension of the bottom may change. Laying flat allows for muscles to relax and as a result you might find that they ripple more on impact, while bent over a bench you might find their muscles are more contracted, giving a firmer surface. For some this will translate into a stingier or thudier type of sensation, something we shall cover in more details shortly.
Get them comfortable and then you can think about how you are going to spank them. Most types of impact fall into one of two categories, thudy or stingy. Most people have a distinct preference for the type of sensation so it is important that we understand the type of sensation our toys inflict.
There are lots of things we can use before we have to go shopping for kink specific toys. A wooden spoon from the kitchen, a slipper from the shoe rack, a belt from the wardrobe. It is important that we know what we are working with before we start flailing around at someone’s bottom. Using your forearm you can usually practice a few strikes to get the feel of the implement and the type of sensation it elicits.
As a rule of thumb you will find that the further the point of impact is from the handle the more difficult the implement is to use reliably. So hitting the same place repeatedly with your hand is reasonably guaranteed, while hitting the same place repeatedly with a 6 foot single tail is much harder. We definitely want to start easy and make sure to spend plenty of time learning before using more difficult implements.
Most implements fall into the two sensation categories below.
Stingy: Thin canes, light floggers, quick hand slaps, light paddles, single tails…
Thudy: Thick canes, heavy floggers, heavy hand slaps, thick paddles, leather belts…
For a more stingy sensation you want to strike quickly with almost a flicking motion. This can serve to intensify the inherently stingy nature of the implement, or even add a stingy sensation to a thudy implement.
For a more thudy sensation you want to land the blow with a solid impact and press. Almost as if you are striking through the surface and holding it in place. This can help deepen the pressure of a thudy tool, or even to lessen the stingy sensation of a lighter toy.
We want to understand the types of sensation our partner enjoys. This serves us well if we want to let them enjoy a scene based around sensations, and is just as important if we want to be sadistic. The better we understand our partners ability to process different sensations the better we are able to take them on an experiential journey.
A spanking scene can be a transcendental experience, the constant, steady impacts become a drum beat by which the bottom can drift off into something often referred to as “sub space”. Or it can be a brutal punishment the bottom cannot escape from and eventually can only surrender to. These are just two possible goals, but are almost diametrically opposed, so we should be sure that both of us know what type of scene we want to have.
It is extremely important that we consider what we shall do for the bottom after the scene. Physically and mentally we need to help them settle again.
You will often find that your partner is not in state to coherently explain their needs after a spanking scene, so it is our responsibility to have had this conversation in advance. Before we begin we should discuss the type of aftercare they commonly need, and have it prepared for them.
This can be physical; blankets, drinks, sweets, and it can also be more mental; verbal reassurance, physical closeness. Have whatever you need close at hand and be prepared to spend as long as is needed helping your partner to recover.
We have explored a little of what is involved in a spanking, but there is so so much more. For many of us this might be our first experience of physical BDSM, but that doesn’t mean it is something we grow out of, or lacks nuance. There are lots of ways of playing with spanking, and lots of ways to engage in it.
Spanking, and the wider category of CP, fits quite easily into many types of play. Spending time learning how to spank, paddle, cane, flog and whip is well worth the investment. With practice you can learn to make a cane deliver a range of sensations and drive your partner into states of agony or ecstasy.
If you get to know your local community you will hopefully be able to find skilled kink educators who will be able to give you some hands-on experience. Different techniques and different tools are best tried with someone experienced in their use. I encourage you to get hands on experience and teaching wherever you can. Never be afraid to learn, we should all actively seek out those more experienced to learn from and improve our abilities.
We are building up our skills so we can explore with partners. While we can learn lots for them, we will also learn the most from them. Everything we learn is so that we can better take a journey together.
Will Hunt has been involved in the UK kink scene for the last 10 years; running clubs, teaching workshops, performing and generally encouraging naughty behavior wherever possible.
I am an emotional masochist.
I want to break down the negative connotations to what my statement means.
Traditionally, emotional masochists are those who feel unworthy of respect. They tend to find themselves in situations that are toxically abusive because they feel they deserve it. It has been said that there are some who crave the abuse they receive. Whether this is a conscious or unconscious desire, it is often all they know.
Growing up, and into my early twenties, I was one of those individuals. I went out of my way for people who would rather spit on me then speak a kind word. I challenged my own ethics and morals because someone wanted something and “a good friend would help them.” I’ve used the façade of laughter to cover the cracks in my self-esteem because if those I call friends don’t respect me, why would anyone else?
I come from a loving family. I was not abused growing up. However, I was deeply insecure and the pressure to be perfect was often overwhelming. And I made mistakes that took me years to be comfortable enough to talk about. I skipped eating and restricted my food to the point that I now suffer from constant stomach issues. I carved my pain into my skin and the words of my insecurities are still visible to this day. I controlled my emotions to the point that I can, and have, physically disconnect/short circuit my connections to people.
These were decisions that bled heavily into my relationships. And it defined the development of my BDSM. I did not understand negotiating because my needs/wants don’t matter. I did not understand communication because if they were angry it must mean they didn’t love me. I didn’t understand that having an opinion did not make me a bad partner. I didn’t understand jealousy because any attention my partner showed me “should be enough.”
Essentially, I did not understand BDSM.
So, I connected to what I did understand. I could learn the proper poses for a submissive. I could learn the expectations of a Dominant. I could be of service.
After all, no one throws out something useful.
I spent most of my life pleasing others with little regard for myself. Even now, I struggle with the idea that I need to take care of myself with as much care as I do my partners.
With what I’ve told you, it makes it hard to believe that I am proud to be an emotional masochist.
What I have learned first and foremost, I can be whatever I want to be.
I can change the things I don’t like.
So, I’ve changed the definition of emotional masochism.
Masochist: Someone who derives pleasure from physical pain, with or without the involvement of sex.
Emotional Masochist: Someone who derives pleasure from deeply emotional play, such as through means of humiliation, degradation, fear, or consensual non-consent.
I should specify that I do love a good beating. I enjoy the use of a variety of toys used upon my person at a varying degree of intensity. I enjoy pushing my limits and my body from time to time. I enjoy enticing my Sadist into staying creative and keeping me guessing.
But I love being mind-fucked more.
These are the moments that leave me feeling like I’ve run a marathon without ever getting up from my knees.
I find humiliation to be a liberating experience. Outside of my dynamic, I refuse to allow anyone to treat me in such a way. Often, in the vanilla world, humiliation is done maliciously. In our world, it is done with care and understanding.
I can face the demons that haunt me. I can seal the cracks in my self-esteem. I can be strong and weak at the same time. I can cry my frustration out. I can growl in anger and defiance without disrespect. I can bare my soul and explore the parts of me I’ve been told should never see daylight.
I can proudly identify as a submissive, a masochist (physically and emotionally), and a piggie.
I cannot change the years of emotional chaos I put up with long ago. I cannot change the individuals who whole-heartedly took advantage of me with no remorse. I cannot change what I allowed to happen.
So, instead, I have chosen to grow from it. I have chosen to challenge it. I have chosen to revel in it.
And I am proudly an emotional masochist.
My name is Joji. I am 29 years old currently and I have been in and around the kink community about 15 years.I am a collared submissive to Magick42. I am also a Daddy to a wonderful babygirl, and have been for more than three years now and I find it very fulfilling. I am being mentored in and being taught electroplay. I am a masochist at heart and thoroughly love impact play, especially caning. I enjoy reading anything I can get my hands on and am a die hard Harry Potter and Doctor Who fan. I am also the secretary for a group in Idaho called Moscow S.P.A.R.K.E (Simply Providing Another Route to Kink Education). It is our mission to teach safe practices to those new to the community and give them a safe haven to ask questions and learn without judgement. We accept all kinks and all we ask in return is respect between all our members.